WEBVTT - Feeling Depressed About The New Year? 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.920 I have to wake up every day knowing I'm the 0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:17.440 reason my mom is dead. What's up, everybody? Welcome back 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:20.680 to the podcast. I answer your questions on here. You 0:00:20.760 --> 0:00:27.240 email me granger at Excuse Me podcast at grangersmith dot com. 0:00:27.240 --> 0:00:30.280 I have switched that email and so if you, if 0:00:30.320 --> 0:00:32.400 you've been paying attention in watching the you know the 0:00:32.440 --> 0:00:35.840 last several episodes, I've switched it. Now it is podcast 0:00:36.000 --> 0:00:39.720 at grangersmith dot com. You ask me a question and 0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:42.879 we walk through whatever you want to talk about, whatever, 0:00:43.880 --> 0:00:49.080 whatever is ailing you, whatever, whatever, whatever you want advice 0:00:49.200 --> 0:00:51.680 in that you would ask a friend. That's what I 0:00:51.680 --> 0:00:53.519 want to be for you in this in this podcast, 0:00:53.600 --> 0:00:55.920 as a friend, someone you could sit in the truck 0:00:55.960 --> 0:00:58.360 with and go, man, I've been kind of wrestling with 0:00:58.520 --> 0:01:01.319 something and and I've listen, maybe I've listened to your 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:04.120 podcast for a bunch of times, and I've never asked anything. 0:01:04.160 --> 0:01:07.080 And now I'm finally I finally have the nerve to 0:01:07.120 --> 0:01:10.760 ask you this question. What would you do in this situation? Now, 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:13.040 sometimes I look back on these episodes and I go, yeah, 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:14.920 you know, I don't think I was right about that. 0:01:16.000 --> 0:01:18.240 But that's not really the point. The point is what's 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:22.560 my what's my gut reaction to a friend? That's what 0:01:22.600 --> 0:01:25.040 I want to be to you once again. It is 0:01:25.200 --> 0:01:28.720 podcast at grangersmith dot com. The first question says, Hey, Granger, 0:01:29.720 --> 0:01:32.600 just wondering what you would say to a mom considering 0:01:32.760 --> 0:01:36.280 adding another baby to the family with how scary the 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:40.080 world is nowadays. It's me, she says, I'm the mom. Lol. 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:42.560 I'm a firm believer in Christ, and I know that 0:01:42.680 --> 0:01:45.279 kids are a gift from God. But with how scary 0:01:45.280 --> 0:01:47.720 the world is nowadays and everyone talking about the end 0:01:47.760 --> 0:01:50.320 of times, it definitely has me on edge and second 0:01:50.360 --> 0:01:52.880 guessing it. Any words of advice and do you believe 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:56.200 all kids are saved in the rapture? That's a lot 0:01:56.200 --> 0:01:59.280 of questions. Thanks Granger, and God bless you and your family. 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:03.160 This question comes from Katie. I sure appreciate it, Katie, 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:05.040 I want to I want to dive in a little 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:08.359 bit because the question like this. The first thing that 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:10.720 the first thing that occurs to me is when you 0:02:10.760 --> 0:02:15.880 say you're a firm believer in Christ, right, and yet 0:02:16.160 --> 0:02:23.320 you're living fearfully. I want to recognize first of all 0:02:23.320 --> 0:02:26.720 that those two things don't go well together. A firm 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:30.600 believer in Christ would not be fearful of anything that's 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:35.000 happening in this world. You shouldn't be. And in fact, 0:02:35.040 --> 0:02:37.280 if you had the maximum amount of faith that you 0:02:37.320 --> 0:02:41.320 could have the faith that could move mountains, that would 0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:47.600 also equal zero fear, zero anxiety, total trust. Now you 0:02:47.639 --> 0:02:51.280 don't have that, and I don't either. But that's the 0:02:51.320 --> 0:02:54.600 goal as we're sanctified as Christians, as we move forward, 0:02:54.680 --> 0:02:56.919 as we grow our faith, as we work it out 0:02:56.919 --> 0:03:00.200 with fear and trembling. The Bible says, the more we 0:03:00.560 --> 0:03:04.079 have faith, the more we know who God is as 0:03:04.120 --> 0:03:07.720 he's represented in Christ, then the last fear we have. 0:03:09.040 --> 0:03:12.600 It just so happens that I do want to recognize 0:03:12.639 --> 0:03:19.360 that this kind of fear, it shouldn't be. It shouldn't 0:03:19.360 --> 0:03:22.960 be a thing for you. There are certain things that 0:03:23.040 --> 0:03:26.200 you could fear and I would let you get away with, 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:27.720 but this is something I'm not gonna let you get 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:32.919 away with. First of all, fearing the end of times 0:03:32.760 --> 0:03:36.320 as a as a believer is an exciting thing. If 0:03:36.320 --> 0:03:38.160 you're going, man, all these people talking about the end 0:03:38.200 --> 0:03:41.760 of times? Is that what you said? You said? Yeah, 0:03:41.960 --> 0:03:44.440 everyone talking about the end of times. It definitely has 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:47.120 me on edge and second guessing whether or not to 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:51.440 have a child. And then but the sentences before that, 0:03:51.480 --> 0:03:53.440 you said, you're a firm believer in Christ. If you're 0:03:53.440 --> 0:03:55.360 a firm believer in Christ and you're going, bring it on, 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:58.720 Come Lord Jesus. That's what the apostles did. That's what 0:03:58.760 --> 0:04:00.760 they said in the Book of Acts and all their letters. 0:04:00.960 --> 0:04:03.520 They were like, I hope he comes back. I hope 0:04:03.520 --> 0:04:07.520 he comes back tomorrow. That would be what you're talking 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:09.800 about at the end of times. So why don't you 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:14.760 say that, Katie. It sounds like you don't trust in 0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:19.240 what he said, what Jesus said. I'm not criticizing. I'm 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:23.360 just helping push you along, Like you're on the plank 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:29.279 here and I'm pushing you along going. Look, the idea 0:04:29.360 --> 0:04:33.960 of having a baby in a scary world is it's 0:04:34.000 --> 0:04:36.239 not strange for a mother to think that. I don't 0:04:36.240 --> 0:04:39.599 blame you, but I do want to encourage you and go, man, 0:04:40.440 --> 0:04:42.919 this is the time we need babies. This is the 0:04:42.960 --> 0:04:46.719 time we need babies born in good faith with faithful mothers. 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:52.160 What's a world without without babies with faithful mothers, That's 0:04:52.160 --> 0:04:54.840 a horrible world. Do you let me ask you a question, 0:04:54.920 --> 0:04:56.960 do you just want to have a baby if the 0:04:57.000 --> 0:04:59.720 world is all nice and pretty and rainbows, is that 0:04:59.760 --> 0:05:02.320 what you want? Or do you want to raise a 0:05:02.360 --> 0:05:05.000 child and go or raising child a child at a 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:08.400 time such as this. Do you not think that God 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:10.400 is providential and when you have a baby or not? 0:05:10.440 --> 0:05:12.920 Do you think you get to decide this? That's another question. 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:14.560 I have a lot of questions for you. If we're 0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:17.200 riding in the truck together, I go, first of all, Oh, 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:19.360 do you think you get to decide when a baby 0:05:19.440 --> 0:05:22.120 comes or when it doesn't? Or is it God that 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:27.000 does that? Do you get to decide when if a 0:05:27.040 --> 0:05:29.000 baby comes during good times or bad times? Or is 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:31.400 it God that does that? Do you get to decide 0:05:31.400 --> 0:05:33.360 if it is good times or bad times? Or does 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:35.960 God decide that? Do you get to decide if it's 0:05:36.000 --> 0:05:38.160 the end of times or not? Or does God decide that? 0:05:39.080 --> 0:05:41.560 And all these questions equal, Now God decides it. God 0:05:42.040 --> 0:05:46.040 is God is. This is the most powerful two words 0:05:46.040 --> 0:05:50.279 you could possibly say. God is and you trust and 0:05:50.320 --> 0:05:54.240 you go, yeah, yeahna have a baby if it is, 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:58.240 if it is the end of times, that's amazing. That's 0:05:58.279 --> 0:06:00.600 my thought for you. It gets way deep I'll leave 0:06:00.640 --> 0:06:06.000 it at that for the time being. Lindsey has the 0:06:06.040 --> 0:06:08.640 next question here. It says, Hey, Granger, my mom has 0:06:08.720 --> 0:06:11.360 drank for as long as I could remember. I'm twenty 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:15.279 seven and I've lost two grandparents to sirrhosis of the 0:06:15.320 --> 0:06:19.839 liver due to their drinking, which were her dad and 0:06:19.880 --> 0:06:22.520 her stepfather. My husband and I have a seven year 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:25.560 old son, and I'd love to have for her to 0:06:25.600 --> 0:06:29.039 have a relationship with him. But the times that I 0:06:29.120 --> 0:06:34.359 let her watch him overnight having me a bit have 0:06:34.760 --> 0:06:38.120 bit me in the behind, she says, because I would 0:06:38.120 --> 0:06:40.919 get a mother's intuition feeling and showing up at the 0:06:40.920 --> 0:06:44.080 house and then she'd be passed out drunk. I haven't 0:06:44.160 --> 0:06:46.320 let him stay there since, and this has been going 0:06:46.320 --> 0:06:49.040 on for about four years. She begs me to let 0:06:49.160 --> 0:06:51.960 him stay the night all the time, but when she asks, 0:06:52.240 --> 0:06:54.080 I could tell that she's been drinking just by her 0:06:54.160 --> 0:06:57.880 voice over the phone. My husband says that I need 0:06:57.880 --> 0:07:00.599 to cut ties completely due to how she treated me 0:07:00.680 --> 0:07:03.800 because I won't let him stay over there. How would 0:07:03.800 --> 0:07:06.840 you handle this situation. I've explained this to her more 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:09.200 time than I can count, and I met my wits end. 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:12.000 I love your music and your family. I keep bringing 0:07:12.000 --> 0:07:16.720 God to the people. Okay, Lindsey, I'm sorry you're in 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:20.640 this situation. This is a tough one. It's a tough situation, 0:07:20.720 --> 0:07:24.040 but an easy answer. I'll say that if this is me, 0:07:24.120 --> 0:07:27.800 you said, how would I handle this situation? If I 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:30.800 went over there, said, say, put myself in this scenario, 0:07:30.840 --> 0:07:36.680 and this is my mom and she I go over 0:07:36.680 --> 0:07:40.840 there and she's passed out drunk and she's watching Lincoln. Okay, 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:44.200 that's the last time Lincoln's going over there until she 0:07:44.440 --> 0:07:49.280 proves and builds trust with me that she doesn't drink 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:53.000 when she's supervising my kids. Period into story. I don't 0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:57.480 care if she's my mom, my sister, my wife, my babysitter. 0:07:57.520 --> 0:08:01.520 I don't care who she is. If she's drinking, she's 0:08:01.560 --> 0:08:05.960 not responsible enough to watch my child, and she's been 0:08:06.000 --> 0:08:10.040 passed out drunk while babysitting, she's eliminated from the question. 0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:13.960 There is no more question anymore. Hey Mom, you're not 0:08:14.000 --> 0:08:17.600 watching my kid. You passed out drunk. I love you. 0:08:18.520 --> 0:08:21.440 I forgive you, but forgiving you doesn't mean I trust you. 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:24.840 Trust is earned, and you have not earned my trust. Mom. 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:27.160 You want to watch my kid, and I hope you do. 0:08:27.640 --> 0:08:30.160 I hope one day you build a relationship because I 0:08:30.200 --> 0:08:34.079 desperately desire my kid to have a relationship with his grandma. 0:08:34.200 --> 0:08:38.920 I desire that, mom, But as his mother, as his protector, 0:08:39.679 --> 0:08:42.840 I cannot trust you because I have found you passed 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:46.480 out drunk. If you stop drinking, you go to rehab, 0:08:46.920 --> 0:08:49.040 you go to some kind of treatment facility, and I 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:51.960 will support you and love you all the way through that. 0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:54.760 And now I will not stop loving you because you're 0:08:54.840 --> 0:08:57.560 my mom. But until you do that and come out 0:08:57.600 --> 0:09:03.400 sober and collect many many months of sobriety, then maybe 0:09:03.440 --> 0:09:06.559 I'll consider my son going to your house under someone 0:09:06.600 --> 0:09:10.720 else's supervision. After that happens many many times and probably 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:14.280 years put together, I trust you alone with my child 0:09:14.440 --> 0:09:18.800 after years of earning a trust. Nothing to do with forgiveness. Mom, 0:09:18.840 --> 0:09:21.120 I forgive you, and I love you. It doesn't change 0:09:21.160 --> 0:09:24.520 my love for you. I'm just saying, as a responsible parent, 0:09:24.720 --> 0:09:28.439 I cannot leave my child here. Done. That's done. Lindsay 0:09:32.000 --> 0:09:34.000 you don't need to because your husband said you want, 0:09:34.040 --> 0:09:36.400 he wants you to cut ties. You don't have to 0:09:36.480 --> 0:09:40.200 cut ties completely. That's not what this is about. This 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:43.760 is about being responsible parent. You could still talk on 0:09:43.800 --> 0:09:46.920 the phone, you can still FaceTime, but your parent, your mom, 0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:53.240 she doesn't get an opportunity to watch your kid. That's it. 0:09:54.640 --> 0:09:59.960 That's it. Thanks for the email, and thanks for trust 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:03.319 to me with something that's a pretty serious situation. I'm 0:10:03.320 --> 0:10:05.960 pretty sure that anyone that listens to this would answer 0:10:05.960 --> 0:10:09.800 that in that same way. One has the next question. 0:10:09.880 --> 0:10:13.240 It says, Hey, Granger, I love this podcast in your Wisdom. 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:15.160 I have a quick question. I'm a junior in college 0:10:15.160 --> 0:10:17.480 and I recently met a super cool girl at work 0:10:18.000 --> 0:10:20.120 who is a senior in high school. I'd love to 0:10:20.120 --> 0:10:22.880 get to know her more and potentially take her out, 0:10:23.040 --> 0:10:25.600 depending on how things go. I want to hear your 0:10:25.640 --> 0:10:29.800 thoughts on age maturity gap. Is this unwise? Does the 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:36.480 Bible say anything on it? Reviewing your question, one, you're 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:41.080 a junior in high school. She's a senior in high school. 0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:49.240 So let's say she is eighteen at the max and 0:10:49.320 --> 0:10:55.600 you are, so you're twenty one. Well, that sounds about right. 0:10:55.679 --> 0:10:57.720 You'd be a senior in college to be twenty two, 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:02.600 so you're three years older. Twenty one and eighteen is 0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:07.280 not an issue to me. If she's seventeen. That is 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:12.480 an issue. Let's wait a few more months. I love 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:17.840 that you're asking the question. If you're not asking the question, 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:23.480 it sounds like this, Hey Granger, I'm twenty one. I'm 0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:27.760 dating a seventeen year old and she is she's the 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:30.800 love of my life. She has a baby on the way. 0:11:32.080 --> 0:11:35.680 These are sometimes these questions go and then it's like, buddy, 0:11:35.679 --> 0:11:37.400 what do you want me to do for you? This 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:41.880 is already happened. This is already happening. So I love one. 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:46.960 I love that you're asking the question before this is happening. 0:11:47.000 --> 0:11:50.440 You're saying, listen, look, I would love to get to 0:11:50.480 --> 0:11:53.440 know her more and potentially take her out, depending on 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:57.960 how things go. And by the way, she's eighteen and 0:11:57.960 --> 0:12:01.040 I'm twenty one, she's in high st going I'm in college. 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:03.839 Hey man, I like that. I like you're asking the question. 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:06.280 And I don't mind the age the age gap. No, 0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:09.080 the Bible doesn't say anything about this. This is this 0:12:09.160 --> 0:12:11.240 is uh where you're gonna have to use your own discernment, 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:15.560 in your own wisdom, and you're gonna have to realize 0:12:15.559 --> 0:12:19.520 that high school and college these you're in a different 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:22.400 season than she is. You're you're you're in a season 0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:25.679 of independence, and she's in a season of dependence. Most 0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:28.640 likely she's living at home. She doesn't know what it's 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:32.160 like to have an apartment and pay bills. You do, You're, 0:12:32.760 --> 0:12:37.040 you're in a completely different season. So my question is, 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:41.640 could you start to get her note to get to 0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:47.040 know her more now? Taking things slowly, recognizing that she 0:12:47.160 --> 0:12:50.400 has maybe what five months of high school left, and 0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:52.719 then she's going to graduate, and then she's going to 0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:56.160 be college age, and she's in. Now, she's in your 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:59.680 playbook right now, she's in. She understands things that you 0:12:59.760 --> 0:13:04.280 under stand a lot more. So let's wait a little bit. 0:13:04.320 --> 0:13:06.120 If you're asking me one, let's wait just a bit 0:13:06.920 --> 0:13:10.319 and keep your eye on the situation. I love that 0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:12.160 you're asking a question, and I think you're right on 0:13:12.160 --> 0:13:16.240 the cusp of something beautiful. I really do. Podcast Today 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:18.440 is brought to y' all by Shopify. 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And if you are now thinking, 0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:48.400 oh man, I didn't get a present for that person 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:51.200 and for whatever reason, it didn't come in time, or 0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:53.960 I didn't get a gift. Let me help you with this. 0:15:54.360 --> 0:15:56.440 Let me get you a cameo. Go to cameo dot 0:15:56.440 --> 0:15:59.920 com slash Granger Smith. That's me, and I will easily 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:02.960 get you a video message to whoever you want me 0:16:03.000 --> 0:16:05.280 to send it to according to what you want me 0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:08.200 to say. So it's like, hey, Mike told me that 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:11.040 he was laid on your present, but don't worry, because 0:16:11.200 --> 0:16:12.760 I'm here to tell you it's all right. Mike's a 0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:15.440 good dude. I'll send you a video message for whatever 0:16:15.440 --> 0:16:17.080 you want me to say right here on my phone, 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:19.080 and then I send it straight to you, and then 0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:22.720 you send it to whoever the recipient is of that 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:25.760 late presence. It doesn't have to be a Christmas present, 0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:28.520 could be birthday, could be encouragement, It could be a 0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:31.520 message to you, whatever it might be. I encourage you 0:16:31.600 --> 0:16:35.600 to go check out cameo cameo dot com slash Granger 0:16:35.600 --> 0:16:37.680 Smith or download the cameo app and search for me 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:41.400 Granger Smith, and let me send you a video message personalized. 0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:44.800 Next question comes from Jordan says, hey Granger, my name 0:16:44.800 --> 0:16:48.200 is Jordan Wilson. I just had my little guy Granger 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:51.720 actually named after you back in September. My question is this, 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:54.920 after having a baby, there are so many people who 0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:58.160 have things to say about the way you're raising are 0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:01.280 going to raise your child or children. How should I 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:04.600 overcome this fear of feeling like I'm failing my child 0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:09.679 and not listening to everyone. As a Christian, I always 0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:13.720 try to have a listening ear, she says, and I 0:17:13.760 --> 0:17:16.920 wear my heart on my sleeve, but sometimes those opinions 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:20.840 that people have to say about me way very heavy 0:17:20.840 --> 0:17:23.200 on my heart. I talked to God about it a lot, 0:17:23.240 --> 0:17:26.360 and I would love to see an outsider's perspective. Thank 0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:28.280 you so much for reading my email. You are truly 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:30.520 inspiring to me, and I couldn't think of a more 0:17:30.520 --> 0:17:33.920 godly and truly humble man than name my son after God. 0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:37.879 Bless happy holidays, Jordan. All Right, Jordan, thank you so 0:17:38.000 --> 0:17:40.919 much for the email and for trusting me with a 0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:48.040 good question. Let's see, you had a baby back in September. 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:52.560 That means you're kind of pulling up on five six 0:17:52.680 --> 0:17:57.160 months old September, October, November. So yeah, you're sitting about 0:17:57.200 --> 0:18:02.480 five months old, and as you're pregnant, you know you're 0:18:02.480 --> 0:18:06.480 probably doing a lot of reading. And everyone has something 0:18:06.480 --> 0:18:08.840 to say about this. Everyone's got oh, you need to 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:11.159 do this and make sure you disciplined this way, and 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:14.760 do you have a bass in that or a sleepsack 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:16.320 or you are are they going to the crib or 0:18:16.359 --> 0:18:19.000 they sleep it in your bed? And everyone are you 0:18:19.000 --> 0:18:21.000 gonna vaccinate? Are you gonna do this? And that? You know, 0:18:21.040 --> 0:18:28.520 everyone has got this opinion. And what's beautiful about having 0:18:28.520 --> 0:18:36.640 a baby and raising a baby is that God God 0:18:36.720 --> 0:18:41.200 takes the time and spaces it out and the growth 0:18:41.240 --> 0:18:44.400 of a child and the pregnancy itself. So for instance, 0:18:45.680 --> 0:18:51.639 you get pregnant, you have nine months ish to get 0:18:51.880 --> 0:18:59.080 things together, to start maybe planning financially, and then after 0:18:59.160 --> 0:19:02.879 about what six months in you find out the gender 0:19:04.080 --> 0:19:06.719 and so then you start picking out colors and you know, 0:19:06.760 --> 0:19:10.679 getting the nursery ready, and then about you know, in 0:19:10.800 --> 0:19:14.720 seven months, you find out more things about specifically about 0:19:14.720 --> 0:19:18.640 the child, maybe the size, the weight, the mental development. 0:19:18.760 --> 0:19:22.080 So you get a couple months then to make adjustments 0:19:22.080 --> 0:19:25.720 on what you have, and then the baby comes right 0:19:26.440 --> 0:19:32.760 and then the baby's immobile, it's nursing. It's just completely 0:19:32.760 --> 0:19:35.840 dependent on you. It's not moving anywhere so you have 0:19:37.119 --> 0:19:39.960 at that point, you know, six or seven months to 0:19:40.000 --> 0:19:44.480 start getting the floor ready for when they're scooting, and 0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:47.040 then as they start scooting, you have a few more 0:19:47.080 --> 0:19:50.560 months to start preparing the house for a walker and 0:19:51.080 --> 0:19:53.680 a baby that's pulling up on different furniture and putting 0:19:53.680 --> 0:19:57.960 their finger in electrical sockets. But you it's always spaced 0:19:58.000 --> 0:20:00.560 out in a way that you could just stay a 0:20:00.600 --> 0:20:02.679 little bit ahead. You don't have to learn when you 0:20:02.720 --> 0:20:05.359 get pregnant, for instance, you don't have to learn how 0:20:05.400 --> 0:20:08.480 to handle a toddler, and when you have a toddler, 0:20:08.640 --> 0:20:10.560 you don't have to immediately learn how to deal with 0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:13.240 a teenager. You just got to stay a little bit ahead. 0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:16.760 And it's spaced out in a beautiful way, and everyone's 0:20:16.760 --> 0:20:19.160 going to have advice, and like, this is how you discipline. 0:20:19.160 --> 0:20:22.000 You make sure you discipline your child this way, and 0:20:22.040 --> 0:20:25.000 then slowly but surely, you recognize the personality of your 0:20:25.080 --> 0:20:28.200 child and you recognize that, well, that was a good 0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:31.440 idea to discipline that way, or that wasn't. My child 0:20:31.520 --> 0:20:34.919 doesn't respond in that way, and you're getting reps. You 0:20:34.960 --> 0:20:37.000 try it this way, it didn't work. You try it 0:20:37.040 --> 0:20:41.400 another way. Now that works. They're sleeping this certain way. 0:20:41.720 --> 0:20:44.840 Like some people go, hey, this this new bassinette that 0:20:45.040 --> 0:20:47.720 moves around and like sings to your child or whatever. 0:20:48.280 --> 0:20:51.760 Save your marriage. People will say like that, and you 0:20:51.760 --> 0:20:53.879 could buy it or rent it or borrow it and 0:20:53.960 --> 0:20:57.280 go it didn't even work at all. Thanks for your advice, 0:20:57.320 --> 0:20:59.080 and I'm sure it worked great with you, but all 0:20:59.119 --> 0:21:02.679 babies are different, and it didn't work with me. So 0:21:03.880 --> 0:21:06.800 the beautiful thing is you're the mother, your hands on, 0:21:07.119 --> 0:21:09.520 you're watching every day. You take advice with the grain 0:21:09.600 --> 0:21:11.800 of salt. People that know and they've been there and 0:21:11.880 --> 0:21:14.600 done that. Great, thank you so much for the advice. 0:21:15.000 --> 0:21:16.879 But I don't have to hear it all because the 0:21:16.920 --> 0:21:19.639 most important thing I could do is be watching and 0:21:19.720 --> 0:21:23.080 observing my child and how they interact with the world 0:21:23.160 --> 0:21:27.199 around them. So don't worry about trying to listen to 0:21:27.320 --> 0:21:30.800 everything because you just can't possibly apply it all to 0:21:30.920 --> 0:21:33.600 your own child. Just doesn't work that way, So just 0:21:33.680 --> 0:21:36.560 relax and the fact that, hey, in a few more months, 0:21:36.640 --> 0:21:39.439 your little granger is going to be crawling, and then 0:21:39.440 --> 0:21:42.400 a few more months after that, Lord willing, he'll be walking, 0:21:42.760 --> 0:21:47.720 and you'll just be observing literally baby steps as it's 0:21:47.800 --> 0:21:52.240 happening in real time and making adjustments, staying one step ahead. 0:21:55.600 --> 0:21:59.080 Next question comes from John, says, Dear mister Smith, my 0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:01.960 name is John. I'm seven teen from Salem, Oregon. A 0:22:02.000 --> 0:22:04.399 friend of mine suggested your podcast to me and said 0:22:04.440 --> 0:22:06.720 that I should email you. So here it is. In 0:22:06.720 --> 0:22:09.359 the summer of twenty twenty two, I was sixteen. I 0:22:09.400 --> 0:22:11.560 was in the process of getting my license and my 0:22:12.160 --> 0:22:16.000 mom was teaching me. During one of our practice drives, 0:22:16.320 --> 0:22:18.320 we were on a back road and I took a 0:22:18.480 --> 0:22:21.600 sharp turn too fast. This caused the car to go 0:22:21.680 --> 0:22:25.040 through the guard rail and off an embankment. I woke 0:22:25.119 --> 0:22:27.240 up in the er three days later and was told 0:22:27.280 --> 0:22:30.640 I had suffered a severe spinal cord injury, which left 0:22:30.680 --> 0:22:33.960 me paralyzed from the waist down. I am now in 0:22:34.000 --> 0:22:38.359 a wheelchair. My mom was killed from the impact. My 0:22:38.480 --> 0:22:42.560 mom was the most loving, kind and joyful person in 0:22:42.600 --> 0:22:45.880 the world, and she didn't deserve to die. I would 0:22:45.880 --> 0:22:48.800 trade our spots in an instant if it meant that 0:22:49.080 --> 0:22:52.919 she could have lived, but it isn't that way, and 0:22:53.000 --> 0:22:56.320 now I have to wake up every day knowing I'm 0:22:56.400 --> 0:23:00.159 the reason my mom is dead. I'm the reason my 0:23:00.200 --> 0:23:03.359 little sister won't get to grow up with her mommy. 0:23:03.560 --> 0:23:07.000 I'm the reason my dad has to work sixty hours 0:23:07.000 --> 0:23:10.240 a week to cover medical bills, support our family, and 0:23:10.359 --> 0:23:13.600 raise a kid on his own. My life is a wreck. 0:23:14.240 --> 0:23:15.840 It's hard to find a reason to get out of 0:23:15.880 --> 0:23:18.960 bed in the morning, and depression is constant. How do 0:23:19.080 --> 0:23:23.399