Speaker 1: I have to wake up every day knowing I'm the
Speaker 1: reason my mom is dead. What's up, everybody? Welcome back
Speaker 1: to the podcast. I answer your questions on here. You
Speaker 1: email me granger at Excuse Me podcast at grangersmith dot com.
Speaker 1: I have switched that email and so if you, if
Speaker 1: you've been paying attention in watching the you know the
Speaker 1: last several episodes, I've switched it. Now it is podcast
Speaker 1: at grangersmith dot com. You ask me a question and
Speaker 1: we walk through whatever you want to talk about, whatever,
Speaker 1: whatever is ailing you, whatever, whatever, whatever you want advice
Speaker 1: in that you would ask a friend. That's what I
Speaker 1: want to be for you in this in this podcast,
Speaker 1: as a friend, someone you could sit in the truck
Speaker 1: with and go, man, I've been kind of wrestling with
Speaker 1: something and and I've listen, maybe I've listened to your
Speaker 1: podcast for a bunch of times, and I've never asked anything.
Speaker 1: And now I'm finally I finally have the nerve to
Speaker 1: ask you this question. What would you do in this situation? Now,
Speaker 1: sometimes I look back on these episodes and I go, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't think I was right about that.
Speaker 1: But that's not really the point. The point is what's
Speaker 1: my what's my gut reaction to a friend? That's what
Speaker 1: I want to be to you once again. It is
Speaker 1: podcast at grangersmith dot com. The first question says, Hey, Granger,
Speaker 1: just wondering what you would say to a mom considering
Speaker 1: adding another baby to the family with how scary the
Speaker 1: world is nowadays. It's me, she says, I'm the mom. Lol.
Speaker 1: I'm a firm believer in Christ, and I know that
Speaker 1: kids are a gift from God. But with how scary
Speaker 1: the world is nowadays and everyone talking about the end
Speaker 1: of times, it definitely has me on edge and second
Speaker 1: guessing it. Any words of advice and do you believe
Speaker 1: all kids are saved in the rapture? That's a lot
Speaker 1: of questions. Thanks Granger, and God bless you and your family.
Speaker 1: This question comes from Katie. I sure appreciate it, Katie,
Speaker 1: I want to I want to dive in a little
Speaker 1: bit because the question like this. The first thing that
Speaker 1: the first thing that occurs to me is when you
Speaker 1: say you're a firm believer in Christ, right, and yet
Speaker 1: you're living fearfully. I want to recognize first of all
Speaker 1: that those two things don't go well together. A firm
Speaker 1: believer in Christ would not be fearful of anything that's
Speaker 1: happening in this world. You shouldn't be. And in fact,
Speaker 1: if you had the maximum amount of faith that you
Speaker 1: could have the faith that could move mountains, that would
Speaker 1: also equal zero fear, zero anxiety, total trust. Now you
Speaker 1: don't have that, and I don't either. But that's the
Speaker 1: goal as we're sanctified as Christians, as we move forward,
Speaker 1: as we grow our faith, as we work it out
Speaker 1: with fear and trembling. The Bible says, the more we
Speaker 1: have faith, the more we know who God is as
Speaker 1: he's represented in Christ, then the last fear we have.
Speaker 1: It just so happens that I do want to recognize
Speaker 1: that this kind of fear, it shouldn't be. It shouldn't
Speaker 1: be a thing for you. There are certain things that
Speaker 1: you could fear and I would let you get away with,
Speaker 1: but this is something I'm not gonna let you get
Speaker 1: away with. First of all, fearing the end of times
Speaker 1: as a as a believer is an exciting thing. If
Speaker 1: you're going, man, all these people talking about the end
Speaker 1: of times? Is that what you said? You said? Yeah,
Speaker 1: everyone talking about the end of times. It definitely has
Speaker 1: me on edge and second guessing whether or not to
Speaker 1: have a child. And then but the sentences before that,
Speaker 1: you said, you're a firm believer in Christ. If you're
Speaker 1: a firm believer in Christ and you're going, bring it on,
Speaker 1: Come Lord Jesus. That's what the apostles did. That's what
Speaker 1: they said in the Book of Acts and all their letters.
Speaker 1: They were like, I hope he comes back. I hope
Speaker 1: he comes back tomorrow. That would be what you're talking
Speaker 1: about at the end of times. So why don't you
Speaker 1: say that, Katie. It sounds like you don't trust in
Speaker 1: what he said, what Jesus said. I'm not criticizing. I'm
Speaker 1: just helping push you along, Like you're on the plank
Speaker 1: here and I'm pushing you along going. Look, the idea
Speaker 1: of having a baby in a scary world is it's
Speaker 1: not strange for a mother to think that. I don't
Speaker 1: blame you, but I do want to encourage you and go, man,
Speaker 1: this is the time we need babies. This is the
Speaker 1: time we need babies born in good faith with faithful mothers.
Speaker 1: What's a world without without babies with faithful mothers, That's
Speaker 1: a horrible world. Do you let me ask you a question,
Speaker 1: do you just want to have a baby if the
Speaker 1: world is all nice and pretty and rainbows, is that
Speaker 1: what you want? Or do you want to raise a
Speaker 1: child and go or raising child a child at a
Speaker 1: time such as this. Do you not think that God
Speaker 1: is providential and when you have a baby or not?
Speaker 1: Do you think you get to decide this? That's another question.
Speaker 1: I have a lot of questions for you. If we're
Speaker 1: riding in the truck together, I go, first of all, Oh,
Speaker 1: do you think you get to decide when a baby
Speaker 1: comes or when it doesn't? Or is it God that
Speaker 1: does that? Do you get to decide when if a
Speaker 1: baby comes during good times or bad times? Or is
Speaker 1: it God that does that? Do you get to decide
Speaker 1: if it is good times or bad times? Or does
Speaker 1: God decide that? Do you get to decide if it's
Speaker 1: the end of times or not? Or does God decide that?
Speaker 1: And all these questions equal, Now God decides it. God
Speaker 1: is God is. This is the most powerful two words
Speaker 1: you could possibly say. God is and you trust and
Speaker 1: you go, yeah, yeahna have a baby if it is,
Speaker 1: if it is the end of times, that's amazing. That's
Speaker 1: my thought for you. It gets way deep I'll leave
Speaker 1: it at that for the time being. Lindsey has the
Speaker 1: next question here. It says, Hey, Granger, my mom has
Speaker 1: drank for as long as I could remember. I'm twenty
Speaker 1: seven and I've lost two grandparents to sirrhosis of the
Speaker 1: liver due to their drinking, which were her dad and
Speaker 1: her stepfather. My husband and I have a seven year
Speaker 1: old son, and I'd love to have for her to
Speaker 1: have a relationship with him. But the times that I
Speaker 1: let her watch him overnight having me a bit have
Speaker 1: bit me in the behind, she says, because I would
Speaker 1: get a mother's intuition feeling and showing up at the
Speaker 1: house and then she'd be passed out drunk. I haven't
Speaker 1: let him stay there since, and this has been going
Speaker 1: on for about four years. She begs me to let
Speaker 1: him stay the night all the time, but when she asks,
Speaker 1: I could tell that she's been drinking just by her
Speaker 1: voice over the phone. My husband says that I need
Speaker 1: to cut ties completely due to how she treated me
Speaker 1: because I won't let him stay over there. How would
Speaker 1: you handle this situation. I've explained this to her more
Speaker 1: time than I can count, and I met my wits end.
Speaker 1: I love your music and your family. I keep bringing
Speaker 1: God to the people. Okay, Lindsey, I'm sorry you're in
Speaker 1: this situation. This is a tough one. It's a tough situation,
Speaker 1: but an easy answer. I'll say that if this is me,
Speaker 1: you said, how would I handle this situation? If I
Speaker 1: went over there, said, say, put myself in this scenario,
Speaker 1: and this is my mom and she I go over
Speaker 1: there and she's passed out drunk and she's watching Lincoln. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's the last time Lincoln's going over there until she
Speaker 1: proves and builds trust with me that she doesn't drink
Speaker 1: when she's supervising my kids. Period into story. I don't
Speaker 1: care if she's my mom, my sister, my wife, my babysitter.
Speaker 1: I don't care who she is. If she's drinking, she's
Speaker 1: not responsible enough to watch my child, and she's been
Speaker 1: passed out drunk while babysitting, she's eliminated from the question.
Speaker 1: There is no more question anymore. Hey Mom, you're not
Speaker 1: watching my kid. You passed out drunk. I love you.
Speaker 1: I forgive you, but forgiving you doesn't mean I trust you.
Speaker 1: Trust is earned, and you have not earned my trust. Mom.
Speaker 1: You want to watch my kid, and I hope you do.
Speaker 1: I hope one day you build a relationship because I
Speaker 1: desperately desire my kid to have a relationship with his grandma.
Speaker 1: I desire that, mom, But as his mother, as his protector,
Speaker 1: I cannot trust you because I have found you passed
Speaker 1: out drunk. If you stop drinking, you go to rehab,
Speaker 1: you go to some kind of treatment facility, and I
Speaker 1: will support you and love you all the way through that.
Speaker 1: And now I will not stop loving you because you're
Speaker 1: my mom. But until you do that and come out
Speaker 1: sober and collect many many months of sobriety, then maybe
Speaker 1: I'll consider my son going to your house under someone
Speaker 1: else's supervision. After that happens many many times and probably
Speaker 1: years put together, I trust you alone with my child
Speaker 1: after years of earning a trust. Nothing to do with forgiveness. Mom,
Speaker 1: I forgive you, and I love you. It doesn't change
Speaker 1: my love for you. I'm just saying, as a responsible parent,
Speaker 1: I cannot leave my child here. Done. That's done. Lindsay
Speaker 1: you don't need to because your husband said you want,
Speaker 1: he wants you to cut ties. You don't have to
Speaker 1: cut ties completely. That's not what this is about. This
Speaker 1: is about being responsible parent. You could still talk on
Speaker 1: the phone, you can still FaceTime, but your parent, your mom,
Speaker 1: she doesn't get an opportunity to watch your kid. That's it.
Speaker 1: That's it. Thanks for the email, and thanks for trust
Speaker 1: to me with something that's a pretty serious situation. I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure that anyone that listens to this would answer
Speaker 1: that in that same way. One has the next question.
Speaker 1: It says, Hey, Granger, I love this podcast in your Wisdom.
Speaker 1: I have a quick question. I'm a junior in college
Speaker 1: and I recently met a super cool girl at work
Speaker 1: who is a senior in high school. I'd love to
Speaker 1: get to know her more and potentially take her out,
Speaker 1: depending on how things go. I want to hear your
Speaker 1: thoughts on age maturity gap. Is this unwise? Does the
Speaker 1: Bible say anything on it? Reviewing your question, one, you're
Speaker 1: a junior in high school. She's a senior in high school.
Speaker 1: So let's say she is eighteen at the max and
Speaker 1: you are, so you're twenty one. Well, that sounds about right.
Speaker 1: You'd be a senior in college to be twenty two,
Speaker 1: so you're three years older. Twenty one and eighteen is
Speaker 1: not an issue to me. If she's seventeen. That is
Speaker 1: an issue. Let's wait a few more months. I love
Speaker 1: that you're asking the question. If you're not asking the question,
Speaker 1: it sounds like this, Hey Granger, I'm twenty one. I'm
Speaker 1: dating a seventeen year old and she is she's the
Speaker 1: love of my life. She has a baby on the way.
Speaker 1: These are sometimes these questions go and then it's like, buddy,
Speaker 1: what do you want me to do for you? This
Speaker 1: is already happened. This is already happening. So I love one.
Speaker 1: I love that you're asking the question before this is happening.
Speaker 1: You're saying, listen, look, I would love to get to
Speaker 1: know her more and potentially take her out, depending on
Speaker 1: how things go. And by the way, she's eighteen and
Speaker 1: I'm twenty one, she's in high st going I'm in college.
Speaker 1: Hey man, I like that. I like you're asking the question.
Speaker 1: And I don't mind the age the age gap. No,
Speaker 1: the Bible doesn't say anything about this. This is this
Speaker 1: is uh where you're gonna have to use your own discernment,
Speaker 1: in your own wisdom, and you're gonna have to realize
Speaker 1: that high school and college these you're in a different
Speaker 1: season than she is. You're you're you're in a season
Speaker 1: of independence, and she's in a season of dependence. Most
Speaker 1: likely she's living at home. She doesn't know what it's
Speaker 1: like to have an apartment and pay bills. You do, You're,
Speaker 1: you're in a completely different season. So my question is,
Speaker 1: could you start to get her note to get to
Speaker 1: know her more now? Taking things slowly, recognizing that she
Speaker 1: has maybe what five months of high school left, and
Speaker 1: then she's going to graduate, and then she's going to
Speaker 1: be college age, and she's in. Now, she's in your
Speaker 1: playbook right now, she's in. She understands things that you
Speaker 1: under stand a lot more. So let's wait a little bit.
Speaker 1: If you're asking me one, let's wait just a bit
Speaker 1: and keep your eye on the situation. I love that
Speaker 1: you're asking a question, and I think you're right on
Speaker 1: the cusp of something beautiful. I really do. Podcast Today
Speaker 1: is brought to y' all by Shopify. You know, I
Speaker 1: first started grangerspin dot com in the year two thousand.
Speaker 1: Can you believe that it's been twenty four years since
Speaker 1: I started grangersmith dot com. It wasn't too long after
Speaker 1: that when I started selling merchandise, and then not too
Speaker 1: much longer after that, I needed to sell the merchandise
Speaker 1: on my website. Now, I just wanted to get my
Speaker 1: name out there, but coming up with an online store
Speaker 1: in e commerce was like the furthest thing from my mind.
Speaker 1: It's something I just didn't go to school for. I
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Speaker 1: Let me tell you this. Christmas has now come and
Speaker 1: gone in twenty twenty three. And if you are now thinking,
Speaker 1: oh man, I didn't get a present for that person
Speaker 1: and for whatever reason, it didn't come in time, or
Speaker 1: I didn't get a gift. Let me help you with this.
Speaker 1: Let me get you a cameo. Go to cameo dot
Speaker 1: com slash Granger Smith. That's me, and I will easily
Speaker 1: get you a video message to whoever you want me
Speaker 1: to send it to according to what you want me
Speaker 1: to say. So it's like, hey, Mike told me that
Speaker 1: he was laid on your present, but don't worry, because
Speaker 1: I'm here to tell you it's all right. Mike's a
Speaker 1: good dude. I'll send you a video message for whatever
Speaker 1: you want me to say right here on my phone,
Speaker 1: and then I send it straight to you, and then
Speaker 1: you send it to whoever the recipient is of that
Speaker 1: late presence. It doesn't have to be a Christmas present,
Speaker 1: could be birthday, could be encouragement, It could be a
Speaker 1: message to you, whatever it might be. I encourage you
Speaker 1: to go check out cameo cameo dot com slash Granger
Speaker 1: Smith or download the cameo app and search for me
Speaker 1: Granger Smith, and let me send you a video message personalized.
Speaker 1: Next question comes from Jordan says, hey Granger, my name
Speaker 1: is Jordan Wilson. I just had my little guy Granger
Speaker 1: actually named after you back in September. My question is this,
Speaker 1: after having a baby, there are so many people who
Speaker 1: have things to say about the way you're raising are
Speaker 1: going to raise your child or children. How should I
Speaker 1: overcome this fear of feeling like I'm failing my child
Speaker 1: and not listening to everyone. As a Christian, I always
Speaker 1: try to have a listening ear, she says, and I
Speaker 1: wear my heart on my sleeve, but sometimes those opinions
Speaker 1: that people have to say about me way very heavy
Speaker 1: on my heart. I talked to God about it a lot,
Speaker 1: and I would love to see an outsider's perspective. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for reading my email. You are truly
Speaker 1: inspiring to me, and I couldn't think of a more
Speaker 1: godly and truly humble man than name my son after God.
Speaker 1: Bless happy holidays, Jordan. All Right, Jordan, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for the email and for trusting me with a
Speaker 1: good question. Let's see, you had a baby back in September.
Speaker 1: That means you're kind of pulling up on five six
Speaker 1: months old September, October, November. So yeah, you're sitting about
Speaker 1: five months old, and as you're pregnant, you know you're
Speaker 1: probably doing a lot of reading. And everyone has something
Speaker 1: to say about this. Everyone's got oh, you need to
Speaker 1: do this and make sure you disciplined this way, and
Speaker 1: do you have a bass in that or a sleepsack
Speaker 1: or you are are they going to the crib or
Speaker 1: they sleep it in your bed? And everyone are you
Speaker 1: gonna vaccinate? Are you gonna do this? And that? You know,
Speaker 1: everyone has got this opinion. And what's beautiful about having
Speaker 1: a baby and raising a baby is that God God
Speaker 1: takes the time and spaces it out and the growth
Speaker 1: of a child and the pregnancy itself. So for instance,
Speaker 1: you get pregnant, you have nine months ish to get
Speaker 1: things together, to start maybe planning financially, and then after
Speaker 1: about what six months in you find out the gender
Speaker 1: and so then you start picking out colors and you know,
Speaker 1: getting the nursery ready, and then about you know, in
Speaker 1: seven months, you find out more things about specifically about
Speaker 1: the child, maybe the size, the weight, the mental development.
Speaker 1: So you get a couple months then to make adjustments
Speaker 1: on what you have, and then the baby comes right
Speaker 1: and then the baby's immobile, it's nursing. It's just completely
Speaker 1: dependent on you. It's not moving anywhere so you have
Speaker 1: at that point, you know, six or seven months to
Speaker 1: start getting the floor ready for when they're scooting, and
Speaker 1: then as they start scooting, you have a few more
Speaker 1: months to start preparing the house for a walker and
Speaker 1: a baby that's pulling up on different furniture and putting
Speaker 1: their finger in electrical sockets. But you it's always spaced
Speaker 1: out in a way that you could just stay a
Speaker 1: little bit ahead. You don't have to learn when you
Speaker 1: get pregnant, for instance, you don't have to learn how
Speaker 1: to handle a toddler, and when you have a toddler,
Speaker 1: you don't have to immediately learn how to deal with
Speaker 1: a teenager. You just got to stay a little bit ahead.
Speaker 1: And it's spaced out in a beautiful way, and everyone's
Speaker 1: going to have advice, and like, this is how you discipline.
Speaker 1: You make sure you discipline your child this way, and
Speaker 1: then slowly but surely, you recognize the personality of your
Speaker 1: child and you recognize that, well, that was a good
Speaker 1: idea to discipline that way, or that wasn't. My child
Speaker 1: doesn't respond in that way, and you're getting reps. You
Speaker 1: try it this way, it didn't work. You try it
Speaker 1: another way. Now that works. They're sleeping this certain way.
Speaker 1: Like some people go, hey, this this new bassinette that
Speaker 1: moves around and like sings to your child or whatever.
Speaker 1: Save your marriage. People will say like that, and you
Speaker 1: could buy it or rent it or borrow it and
Speaker 1: go it didn't even work at all. Thanks for your advice,
Speaker 1: and I'm sure it worked great with you, but all
Speaker 1: babies are different, and it didn't work with me. So
Speaker 1: the beautiful thing is you're the mother, your hands on,
Speaker 1: you're watching every day. You take advice with the grain
Speaker 1: of salt. People that know and they've been there and
Speaker 1: done that. Great, thank you so much for the advice.
Speaker 1: But I don't have to hear it all because the
Speaker 1: most important thing I could do is be watching and
Speaker 1: observing my child and how they interact with the world
Speaker 1: around them. So don't worry about trying to listen to
Speaker 1: everything because you just can't possibly apply it all to
Speaker 1: your own child. Just doesn't work that way, So just
Speaker 1: relax and the fact that, hey, in a few more months,
Speaker 1: your little granger is going to be crawling, and then
Speaker 1: a few more months after that, Lord willing, he'll be walking,
Speaker 1: and you'll just be observing literally baby steps as it's
Speaker 1: happening in real time and making adjustments, staying one step ahead.
Speaker 1: Next question comes from John, says, Dear mister Smith, my
Speaker 1: name is John. I'm seven teen from Salem, Oregon. A
Speaker 1: friend of mine suggested your podcast to me and said
Speaker 1: that I should email you. So here it is. In
Speaker 1: the summer of twenty twenty two, I was sixteen. I
Speaker 1: was in the process of getting my license and my
Speaker 1: mom was teaching me. During one of our practice drives,
Speaker 1: we were on a back road and I took a
Speaker 1: sharp turn too fast. This caused the car to go
Speaker 1: through the guard rail and off an embankment. I woke
Speaker 1: up in the er three days later and was told
Speaker 1: I had suffered a severe spinal cord injury, which left
Speaker 1: me paralyzed from the waist down. I am now in
Speaker 1: a wheelchair. My mom was killed from the impact. My
Speaker 1: mom was the most loving, kind and joyful person in
Speaker 1: the world, and she didn't deserve to die. I would
Speaker 1: trade our spots in an instant if it meant that
Speaker 1: she could have lived, but it isn't that way, and
Speaker 1: now I have to wake up every day knowing I'm
Speaker 1: the reason my mom is dead. I'm the reason my
Speaker 1: little sister won't get to grow up with her mommy.
Speaker 1: I'm the reason my dad has to work sixty hours
Speaker 1: a week to cover medical bills, support our family, and
Speaker 1: raise a kid on his own. My life is a wreck.
Speaker 1: It's hard to find a reason to get out of
Speaker 1: bed in the morning, and depression is constant. How do
Speaker 1: I even start to live again? John? Thank you for
Speaker 1: emailing brother, heavy heavy stuff here, heavy stuff, and put
Speaker 1: a timeline together in my head. You're seventeen. This happened
Speaker 1: a little over a year ago, summer of twenty twenty two,
Speaker 1: when you were sixteen. So I build the timeline in
Speaker 1: my head because I want to know how much time
Speaker 1: has gone by, how much time you've had to First
Speaker 1: of all, grieve, And this is a multiple grieving process.
Speaker 1: Most grieving processes are multi layered, right, And so you're
Speaker 1: grieving your mother, You're grieving your legs, the use of
Speaker 1: your legs. You're grieving the the idea that your sister
Speaker 1: doesn't have a mother. You're grieving the idea that your
Speaker 1: father doesn't have his wife, and that he's working to
Speaker 1: pay for medical bills for you. So you're grieving your life.
Speaker 1: You used to have that's a real thing, and that's
Speaker 1: not a problem. It's not a wrong thing to grieve.
Speaker 1: We wouldn't think there that here that you only grieved
Speaker 1: your mother and that's the only thing you're sad about.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of things that you can rightly be
Speaker 1: sad about and rightly grieve about. Mourning is good, weeping
Speaker 1: is good, Grieving is normal. What I don't like in
Speaker 1: this email is depression, which you say is constant, because
Speaker 1: depression is different than mourning and grieving and weeping and sadness.
Speaker 1: Depression is self deprivation. Depression is turning the problem past
Speaker 1: the situation and turning it and aiming it towards yourself,
Speaker 1: and so then you're you're essentially decapitating yourself and you're
Speaker 1: you're crushing yourself under your own weight. That's what this
Speaker 1: depression is. Grieving and mourning is working out this this missing,
Speaker 1: the the the the ability to look back on your
Speaker 1: life that the way it was. You're working that out
Speaker 1: of your system. Depression is not that. Depression is Depression
Speaker 1: is taking that and applying it back into your system
Speaker 1: and reliving it and living in it and living about
Speaker 1: it and being it. That's what you're doing. I am.
Speaker 1: I'm not for a second gonna pretend like I know
Speaker 1: what you're going through. I'm not for a second going
Speaker 1: to pretend like this is a light situation and going
Speaker 1: to be easy to fix, not for a second. So
Speaker 1: don't take anything that I say in that way. But
Speaker 1: I do understand the guilt of a death because of you.
Speaker 1: I understand that I've been through that. In fact, in
Speaker 1: a couple of times, a couple times in my life
Speaker 1: River and my dad. My mom was visiting me when
Speaker 1: my dad died of a heart attack. So if she
Speaker 1: hadn't been with me, she would have been with my dad,
Speaker 1: probably would have been able to quickly diagnose the problem,
Speaker 1: call nine to one one and they could have saved him,
Speaker 1: maybe and probably. So I understand the idea that you're saying. Man,
Speaker 1: if it wasn't for me, then my mom would still
Speaker 1: be here. So that's normal. I hear you, and I'll
Speaker 1: sit with you in that and just recognize that that's
Speaker 1: a real thing you're feeling, and it's it's valid and
Speaker 1: you're not alone. Right, But then we got to get
Speaker 1: to the meat of this. We got to get we
Speaker 1: have to get to the heart of this, John. This
Speaker 1: is if you hear anything I say, if you've ever
Speaker 1: heard my podcast, if you ever hear anything I've ever said,
Speaker 1: hear this, hear this. The world will tell you, John,
Speaker 1: you need to forgive yourself. The world will tell you, John,
Speaker 1: you're not guilty. It's not your fault. That's what the
Speaker 1: world will tell you. And they mean it with good
Speaker 1: intentions and sincerity. And you're gonna hear that, and you're
Speaker 1: gonna go. First of all, you're gonna go, what does
Speaker 1: forgiving myself mean mean? And how do I do that?
Speaker 1: And then you're gonna go, how does the world tell
Speaker 1: me I'm not guilty? How does that work? How do
Speaker 1: the mechanics of that practically work? I'm not guilty. I
Speaker 1: was literally in the car driving. I literally wrecked and
Speaker 1: my mom died. Who else's fault isn't is it? You're
Speaker 1: just gonna say it's an accident. Well, I was the
Speaker 1: one driving, not accidentally intentionally, And then the world's gonna
Speaker 1: say it's not your fault, and you're gonna go, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know who else's fault it could be.
Speaker 1: And if mom died just for a freak accident, I
Speaker 1: think that's a little worse because then it means it's meaningless,
Speaker 1: which the heart of what I'm gonna tell you, John,
Speaker 1: is that I don't believe anything is meaningless, and I
Speaker 1: don't believe in accidents or coincidences at all. There's always
Speaker 1: a fault, there's always an action, and there's always a reason.
Speaker 1: I want to clear that up first, and I want
Speaker 1: to say that kind of lay the groundwork because as
Speaker 1: the world begins to pour over you, and I'm sure
Speaker 1: they already have saying it's not your fault and this
Speaker 1: is not your and I'm so sorry you don't blame yourself,
Speaker 1: I want to I want to warn you that to me,
Speaker 1: that perpetuates the depression because it starts to confuse you
Speaker 1: and to how in the world do you even do that?
Speaker 1: And then all counseling and therapy could walk you through
Speaker 1: this guilt, this guilt and shame. You're shameful and you
Speaker 1: gotta literally live with this pain and this shame, literally
Speaker 1: in the loss of your legs physically, you're you're you're
Speaker 1: living out this shame and this guilt, right, And so
Speaker 1: this is where the Gospel of Christ comes in, and
Speaker 1: this is what saved me, literally saved my life. If
Speaker 1: from this kind of depression, Jesus comes into the world,
Speaker 1: the beautiful creation that God made perfect, flawless humans come
Speaker 1: in and we ruin it. We reject him, We deny
Speaker 1: our creator. We try to fix things on our own,
Speaker 1: and we make our art. We make gods of ourselves,
Speaker 1: we make idols of ourselves, and we go I'm in control.
Speaker 1: I am in control of my own destiny. I make
Speaker 1: I create things. I make my life successful or not.
Speaker 1: I'm the one that set my alarm. I'm the one
Speaker 1: that goes out there and gets a job. I'm the
Speaker 1: one that's learning how to walk with prosthetic legs. And
Speaker 1: we reject God at every turn. So God enters creation
Speaker 1: knowing this, knowing that we have rejected him, that we
Speaker 1: have abandoned him, that we have lied, cheated, stole, hated,
Speaker 1: denied everything, and our own conscience. As I'm telling you this,
Speaker 1: if you think you're a good person, and you think
Speaker 1: you deserve heaven because you're a good person, your own
Speaker 1: conscience right now is giving you away. Because as I
Speaker 1: say this, you think, yeah, I do have some problems,
Speaker 1: don't I. I might be I might think I'm better
Speaker 1: than my neighbor. I might think I'm better than that guy,
Speaker 1: but I know I've messed up my fair share. So
Speaker 1: your conscience is ratting you out right now. Jesus comes
Speaker 1: in to reconcile sinners to himself, knowing that we could
Speaker 1: not do it on our own, knowing that God, to
Speaker 1: be in the presence of God would require perfection, and
Speaker 1: we don't have it. So he comes in to reconcile
Speaker 1: sinners to himself to bring people to God his peace.
Speaker 1: He goes to the cross, and what did we do?
Speaker 1: We kill him. That's what humans do. God came to
Speaker 1: reconcile sinners to back to God, and we kill him,
Speaker 1: the son of God. That's what we do. That kind
Speaker 1: of sums up humanity. Three days later, he resurrects from
Speaker 1: the dead, proving that God's ultimate sacrifice was accepted through Christ.
Speaker 1: Jesus says, whoever believes in Me will not perish, will
Speaker 1: have eternal life. Guess what else? He says, John, He says,
Speaker 1: whoever believes in me, I will forgive them of their sins.
Speaker 1: I will cover their guilt, I will cleanse them, I
Speaker 1: will make them new. I will give a new heart.
Speaker 1: To them. I will put my perfection on them, so
Speaker 1: that when God the Father looks and judgment on a
Speaker 1: sinful humanity, he sees Christ's perfection covering that person. So
Speaker 1: that's what that's the offer of the gospel to you, John.
Speaker 1: The Gospel, unlike the world, says, Yes, you are guilty, John, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you messed up. No, you can't fix it. But believe
Speaker 1: in me. You trust in me and the work I
Speaker 1: did on the cross. Jesus says what I did for
Speaker 1: you on the cross, John, as I took your sins
Speaker 1: upon my body, my perfect body, took your sins, your wretchedness,
Speaker 1: upon myself, and I took that as a sacrifice. So
Speaker 1: you believe in me, and your sins are paid for.
Speaker 1: You are forgiven, your guilt gone overlooked clean. You can't
Speaker 1: forgive yourself. You can't say that you're not guilty, but
Speaker 1: Jesus can't. That's the gospel. I want you to think
Speaker 1: about what I said and dive into. This is your
Speaker 1: only chance, John, I'm telling you, and I'm begging you,
Speaker 1: this is your only chance. You will not heal from
Speaker 1: something this tragic. There's no amount of therapy or secular
Speaker 1: counseling that's gonna fix this for you. There is nobody
Speaker 1: that's gonna do some kind of mind trick on you
Speaker 1: to where you start thinking, I guess you know what.
Speaker 1: I guess I am pretty good. Don't have my legs anymore,
Speaker 1: don't have my mom, But I guess I'm good. That's
Speaker 1: not gonna happen. But Jesus can heal. Jesus can renew
Speaker 1: your mind. He could renew your heart. He could give
Speaker 1: you a new purpose. He can make you a new creation,
Speaker 1: so that you have a new purpose and you know
Speaker 1: that things are happening for a reason, for a purpose.
Speaker 1: I don't know what that purpose is, John, I don't
Speaker 1: know what it is. I don't know if you're gonna
Speaker 1: speak to people that feel dislike you one day, if
Speaker 1: you're gonna become someone that travels around in your wheelchair,
Speaker 1: in your prosthetic legs, and you go, look, I was
Speaker 1: where you are, and I could tell you how to
Speaker 1: get out of this. I could tell you how your
Speaker 1: guilt could be covered, how your sins can be forgiven.
Speaker 1: I could tell you how to see your mom again.
Speaker 1: Those are powerful things, John, And that's the offer of
Speaker 1: the Gospel. You could choose to reject it. You could
Speaker 1: choose right now to go and stay and wallow in
Speaker 1: your depression and continue to perpetuate this evil, wickedness in
Speaker 1: your heart, saying I hate myself, hate my life, hate everything.
Speaker 1: Or you could turn from that and turn to Jesus
Speaker 1: and go I want I want you, Jesus. I want
Speaker 1: you cover me, clean me. Like Granger said, forgive me
Speaker 1: and my guilt. Choose this day, John, when you hear
Speaker 1: this podcast, choose this day whom you will serve, Jesus
Speaker 1: or yourself. There is no other way. There is no
Speaker 1: other way in this kind of situation. Hey, there's no way.
Speaker 1: There's no other way for anyone listening. But it's just
Speaker 1: clearer for John in this situation, he is out of options.
Speaker 1: You everyone else listening, you have options. None of those
Speaker 1: options are going to work. But John it's less. He
Speaker 1: has less options, and so it's more clear that Jesus
Speaker 1: is the way, the truth in the life. Caleb writes
Speaker 1: in here saying, Hey, Granger, I have a question about
Speaker 1: my future. I'm an eighteen year old boy living in
Speaker 1: a small town in West Virginia. I was planning on
Speaker 1: moving to Tampa Florida later this year to go to
Speaker 1: Bible College, but I don't know exactly what to do
Speaker 1: within ministry. I have a youth pastor job open to me,
Speaker 1: but I want to do missionary work. Should I go
Speaker 1: to Bible College or not? Hey, Caleb, appreciate the question. Man,
Speaker 1: Let me kind of recap from my own thoughts. Here.
Speaker 1: You are eighteen, small town West Virginia. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're asking here, because to me
Speaker 1: this seems so obvious. You plan on going to Bible College,
Speaker 1: but it sounds like there's also a youth pastor job open,
Speaker 1: but you also want to do missionary work, and I
Speaker 1: want to know. I'm want to If I was with
Speaker 1: you in the truck and you're asking me this question,
Speaker 1: I would say, what does not going to Bible College
Speaker 1: benefit any of this does? How does not going to
Speaker 1: Bible College benefit any of these things for you? Not
Speaker 1: everyone gets the opportunity to go to Bible college or seminary.
Speaker 1: Not everyone gets that opportunity. I understand that, but it
Speaker 1: sounds like you do have the opportunity and you're wondering
Speaker 1: if you should skip it. And I would say this,
Speaker 1: what if? What if you're saying this. You're saying, man,
Speaker 1: I want to be a firefighter, and I want to
Speaker 1: do well in firefighting. I want to move up the
Speaker 1: ladder and one day I want to be a captain
Speaker 1: of my unit. I have an opportunity right now to
Speaker 1: go or go to a really good fire school and
Speaker 1: it gives me a really good found foundation for firefighting.
Speaker 1: Or I can go right into this station over here
Speaker 1: that's hiring straight out of high school. But I'm not
Speaker 1: sure because I have the job, I could just go
Speaker 1: into the station and start working now. I would say, Caleb,
Speaker 1: you need tools. If you have an opportunity to go
Speaker 1: to the fire school, that's going to be your ticket
Speaker 1: to growing in the station. If you have an opportunity
Speaker 1: now to go to this Bible college, that's going to
Speaker 1: bring more fruit to your missionary work. It's going to
Speaker 1: bring more fruit to your potential youth pastor job. Hands down,
Speaker 1: you just going into it is is going to hurt
Speaker 1: your future in this most likely. And that's just that's
Speaker 1: not like it's not like I'm giving you incredible wisdom
Speaker 1: here that this is just playing the odds. You want more,
Speaker 1: You want more on your side. You want to swing
Speaker 1: that pendulum. You want as much weight on the scale
Speaker 1: as you can to give you strength and a foundation
Speaker 1: and knowledge as you go into whatever field you want
Speaker 1: to go into when it comes to ministry, so absolutely
Speaker 1: take the opportunity to go to Bible College. You could
Speaker 1: do missionary work while you're in a Bible college. I'm doing.
Speaker 1: I'm in seminary right now and I'm still doing. I
Speaker 1: did three missionary trips this year while enrolled in seminary,
Speaker 1: literally while doing seminary, doing seminary on the mission field,
Speaker 1: and that's what I did three different times this year.
Speaker 1: And the youth pastor job. A lot of seminarians I'm
Speaker 1: working with right now already have pastoral jobs. So you
Speaker 1: could certainly do both. You could do all three things.
Speaker 1: You could be Bible College, you could be a youth
Speaker 1: pastor and be a missionary, do missionary work short term
Speaker 1: mission stuff all at the same time. You don't have to.
Speaker 1: But the one thing I would recommend is doing the
Speaker 1: Bible College. I don't know why you wouldn't do that,
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's an easy one for me. Caleb. Thank
Speaker 1: all you guys for emailing, and I have to say
Speaker 1: as we are wrapping up this year. I believe this
Speaker 1: is the last podcast of twenty twenty three for listening
Speaker 1: real time. Thank you for listening for so long and
Speaker 1: for so many episodes. If you're searching for something and
Speaker 1: that's the reason you're listening to a podcast answering people's questions.
Speaker 1: On December twenty sixth, if you're listening and you're searching
Speaker 1: for something, remember that Jesus says, seeking, you will find. Knocking,
Speaker 1: the door will be opened to you. So all you
Speaker 1: searchers out there going, I wonder if there's something more
Speaker 1: for me. I wonder if they're something more about this
Speaker 1: life that I don't know yet. I wonder if there's
Speaker 1: something there's a greater meaning, a greater purpose than just
Speaker 1: waking up and going to work and dating a girl
Speaker 1: and having a baby. There's got to be more to
Speaker 1: it than this. I know there's something out there more.
Speaker 1: I want to say. Jesus said, seek and you will find.
Speaker 1: Thank you for being here and thank you for listening.
Speaker 1: And I hope that I did give you the gospel
Speaker 1: in this episode, and I hope that that matters to you,
Speaker 1: and I hope you keep coming back. This is a
Speaker 1: Tuesday now, but we usually put these out on Monday.
Speaker 1: If you want to email me once again, my email
Speaker 1: is podcast at grangersmith dot com. The next time you
Speaker 1: hear me next year, Lord Willing, I will not have
Speaker 1: such a scratchy voice. So I apologize these last few episodes.
Speaker 1: I have been I've been rolling, I've been going, blowing
Speaker 1: and going lately with a lot of stuff. So hopefully
Speaker 1: I get a little bit of rest on this voice.
Speaker 1: And I love you guys. Thanks for being here, Thanks
Speaker 1: for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all
Speaker 1: of you. Guys. You could help me out by rating
Speaker 1: this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to
Speaker 1: this channel, hit that little like button and notification spell
Speaker 1: so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
Speaker 1: YII