Speaker 1: Hell I Suck at Dating with Denglert and Dared Haven
Speaker 1: and I heard radio podcast What's going on Everyone? And
Speaker 1: Welcome to an all new episode of Help Suck At Dating.
Speaker 1: It's mid January. We've made it through the New Year's
Speaker 1: Eve and Christmas slumps. I guess I feel like people
Speaker 1: kind of slump around those times. Um, We've got a
Speaker 1: great episode in store for you guys. Today. We have
Speaker 1: everyone's favorite contested from our season and a couple of
Speaker 1: seasons of Paradise. A little controversial this last season in Paradise.
Speaker 1: If I do say so, Uh, Kendall Long will be
Speaker 1: joining us and uh co hosting the episode with us.
Speaker 1: Before we bring Kendall Lynn, I do want to say something.
Speaker 1: Not to start off on a sad note, but we
Speaker 1: record this podcast on Friday, so I won't come until Sunday.
Speaker 1: But yesterday we found out, Oh hello, Kendall, you're here. Hey,
Speaker 1: how are you? Ken? I'm wonderful, now how are you? I?
Speaker 1: I was just telling Dan, I don't want to start
Speaker 1: off the podcast on a sad note, but I do
Speaker 1: want to address this, and I do want to say something. Uh,
Speaker 1: fellow bachelorette contestant that was on my season. Clint Arless
Speaker 1: passed away yesterday at the age of four. Um, and
Speaker 1: I got to know Clint a little bit on the show.
Speaker 1: He was only there for not only there, but he
Speaker 1: was there for a couple of weeks. UM. I don't know,
Speaker 1: Dean if you remember watching that season or Kendall, but
Speaker 1: he had the uh the bromance with j j um oh,
Speaker 1: the bromance guy. Yes, and yeah, I was really it's
Speaker 1: just very stunning news, shocking news. Sad thirty four gone
Speaker 1: way too long, way too soon. Excuse me, Um, do
Speaker 1: we know what happened to him? We do not, And UM,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm just sending my condolences out to his family,
Speaker 1: UM and everybody that uh, you know he was a
Speaker 1: part of with their lives and he just you know,
Speaker 1: it was funny because we had um a text threat going.
Speaker 1: I'm Dean and Candle. I'm sure you guys have the
Speaker 1: same thing of like all your contestants from the show.
Speaker 1: And it was, you know, at first, everybody was kind
Speaker 1: of texting back and forth and then it started petering
Speaker 1: out and the two guys that kept the text chain
Speaker 1: going where JJ and Clint, and they would legitimately just
Speaker 1: text back and forth in this group chat. So I
Speaker 1: would always look down and there'd be sixty new text
Speaker 1: messages on my phone and it would only be JJ
Speaker 1: and Clint going back and forth. Um. So I just
Speaker 1: wanted to say that, Uh, you know, Clint was a
Speaker 1: good guy. The last time I saw him was JJ's wedding. Uh,
Speaker 1: and uh he was happy and um he looked good.
Speaker 1: So again, just sending my condolences to the family. He's
Speaker 1: a bachelorette legend. I uh, you know, I wasn't really
Speaker 1: a fan. I thought I wasn't a fan. I just
Speaker 1: didn't watch the show much going into when we filmed
Speaker 1: our season, and um, the one person, not one, but
Speaker 1: I guess the two people that the producers kept referring
Speaker 1: to time and time and time over and over and
Speaker 1: over again was Clinton JJ. They would always talk about
Speaker 1: how they had like the best bromance and they would
Speaker 1: take showers together, but like in a total best friend
Speaker 1: kind of way, and they would always like joke about it.
Speaker 1: They always be like, you know, you're here to find love,
Speaker 1: You're not here to take showers with guys. No, seriously,
Speaker 1: like that used to happen one season these two guys
Speaker 1: like fell in love with each other, so they would
Speaker 1: bring it up like every chance they got. So definitely
Speaker 1: sad news. I'm sorry that, you know, for everyone involved,
Speaker 1: that is never never anything good. But hopefully hopefully more
Speaker 1: news comes out about it, we figure out what happened, right, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I just I want you know,
Speaker 1: he was a funny guy, made me laugh a lot.
Speaker 1: So again, gondolences the family. So I didn't want to
Speaker 1: start off on a sad note, but I did want
Speaker 1: to address that. Um. Yeah, no, I think that's good.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you bringing it up. I I because I
Speaker 1: honestly never would have known enough about it to bring
Speaker 1: it up. So it's I'm you know, I'm glad that
Speaker 1: you did, and I you know, he's a buddy of yours,
Speaker 1: so I'm sorry to hear that, and like you said, condolences,
Speaker 1: but yeah, we can't. We can't be somber all episode.
Speaker 1: So Kendall, welcome to the podcast. Are you had to
Speaker 1: jump in at an opportune time? No, that's definitely fine.
Speaker 1: I'm glad we talked about it. Yeah, well how are you?
Speaker 1: How are you? Candle philis in? What's going on? Over there.
Speaker 1: I'm good. H I'm not to add more bad news,
Speaker 1: but my my dog just had I v d D
Speaker 1: and had to have um spine surgery some kind of
Speaker 1: healing him. He's on the mend um he will um
Speaker 1: so his disc at his back herding aidd so it
Speaker 1: was bleeding around his spine and so he was unable
Speaker 1: to use his back legs. Um. So he was just
Speaker 1: paralyzed from the waist down. So he just had to
Speaker 1: go in for emergency surgery. So not to add more
Speaker 1: sad things, but I've kind of been dealing with that
Speaker 1: for the past. Yeah, that's a lot. I've been following
Speaker 1: along on your Instagram stories and so that happened today.
Speaker 1: Like what is the current status he's in surgery. No,
Speaker 1: so he was in surgery probably about five days ago
Speaker 1: and now he is, uh he's at home finally and recovering.
Speaker 1: So um, he's definitely have much use of his back legs,
Speaker 1: but we're kind of like rebuilding rehabilitating him, waiting from
Speaker 1: the heal enough so we can start, you know, doing
Speaker 1: therapy and stuff like that. But yeah, he's just frustrated
Speaker 1: because he likes running around and doing things and following
Speaker 1: people around and getting in everyone's business and he can't
Speaker 1: do that, so he's just very frustrated. But do do
Speaker 1: dogs have waste? Kendall? I mean, yeah, they have a
Speaker 1: good waste, whether you know. Yeah, definitely has a waste. Okay,
Speaker 1: I agree, you're right, probably just right above their hips.
Speaker 1: That makes sense. Um, I did see I did see
Speaker 1: your posts as well. It's very sad. That's pretty Is
Speaker 1: that pretty common in doxins, the like those spinal court issues. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's very very common. And I'm his fourth home, so
Speaker 1: I don't really know what his past was or his history,
Speaker 1: so a lot of things could have started it. It
Speaker 1: was very sudden, um and just one morning he woke
Speaker 1: up and it was he was just paralyzed. So um
Speaker 1: so yeah, but luckily my sister moved in, so she's
Speaker 1: helping out out a lot with that. So how is
Speaker 1: he able to get around? Does he have like a
Speaker 1: wheelchair or is he just kinda right now? It's so
Speaker 1: soon after surgery, so he gets his staples out in
Speaker 1: about like ten days, but we just carry him around everywhere.
Speaker 1: Here's a lot of diapers and changing of things. Um,
Speaker 1: and I'm actually getting him a stroller, so that's coming
Speaker 1: in the mail and a wheelchair, so he's going to
Speaker 1: be mobile soon. Yeah. How old is this dash man?
Speaker 1: He's three? So yeah, so very young, but usually in
Speaker 1: dashounds it starts around the age of three and two
Speaker 1: three onward. So how has he been rehomed? How has
Speaker 1: he been in four homes? And he's only three years old?
Speaker 1: I got him and he was one. I feel like
Speaker 1: you've had him for a long time. Yeah, I have, well,
Speaker 1: and they don't only have a lot of records on
Speaker 1: his history, but he was at the kill shelter and
Speaker 1: then he was at another shelter. Oh yeah, so he
Speaker 1: was his original home, then he went to a kill shelter,
Speaker 1: that another shelter, and then I took got him from
Speaker 1: that shelter. So that's crazy. I know, I know doctins
Speaker 1: are kind of a handful, but that's three homes in
Speaker 1: one year. I mean, kidness, he came along. Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: he's he's great. He's he's my best friend. So you know,
Speaker 1: he's gonna be fine, hopefully, but he has an eight
Speaker 1: percent chance of walking again before surgery. It was so yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's definitely not easy to watch your best friend and
Speaker 1: your favorite little animal go through those things. So yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like you're definitely sending you are best as well.
Speaker 1: I know it definitely as like a kid. It's crazy
Speaker 1: because we talked about this too when when we had
Speaker 1: to put Pappy down. It's you don't realize how attached
Speaker 1: you are to your pets until something like this happens
Speaker 1: to them where you have to put them down or
Speaker 1: they become Oh, I'm fully aware of how attached that
Speaker 1: in too. Lois currently I'm drinking coffee out of a
Speaker 1: mug that says Lois Is dad. Oh it's so great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that is very great. But I guess it does put
Speaker 1: things into perspective, Like Kendall, I'm sure once Pistachio is
Speaker 1: running around again, you're really going to appreciate his ability
Speaker 1: to like be mobile a lot more than you would
Speaker 1: have before. It's just, um, yeah, it's just it's it's
Speaker 1: it's definitely tough. So we're sending you our best. We're
Speaker 1: sending Pistachio all the positive vibes we possibly can. I
Speaker 1: will hope that he will heal so oh yeah, he's
Speaker 1: gonna be no time. Yeah, so we do. Obviously we're
Speaker 1: dating podcast Candle and you've been on this podcast numerous times.
Speaker 1: We I always mentioned that the first time I ever
Speaker 1: record did a podcast on here was with you and
Speaker 1: a while ago. Dude, every time I say this, Dean,
Speaker 1: you always say, oh, I didn't know that. That's like
Speaker 1: the third time I've mentioned it, and that's the third
Speaker 1: time You're like, I didn't. Thanks. Thanks for sharing that
Speaker 1: fun fact that I never knew. I appreciate that. So, Kendall,
Speaker 1: the last time we saw you was obviously on Bachelor
Speaker 1: in Paradise, so you left single. What's been going on
Speaker 1: in your life after that? Um? I'm dating around and
Speaker 1: doing stuff. Um it's the dating scene like in l
Speaker 1: A right now. UM, it depends. I would say that
Speaker 1: you get him a mixture of different kinds of people. UM,
Speaker 1: but I usually prefer to meet someone through a friend
Speaker 1: or someone that I trust. Um. Dating apps are kind
Speaker 1: of they're little intimidating. UM, but yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's it's been interesting. I've gone some fun adventures. So
Speaker 1: there's so you said the dating apps are intimidating for you.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine what the guys think? Because I was
Speaker 1: when you said it was intimidating for you all. I
Speaker 1: could think about was like, if a guy was scrolling through,
Speaker 1: and I can say this because I'm married and Ashley
Speaker 1: agrees with me. We think you are one of the
Speaker 1: most beautiful contestants to ever be on the show, and
Speaker 1: you're intelligent and savvy and have so much going for you.
Speaker 1: If I was a guy going through and I saw
Speaker 1: you and then it was like, oh that girl was
Speaker 1: on Bachelor, they would be super intimidated. So how is
Speaker 1: it intimidating towards you? Like, what do you find intimidating
Speaker 1: about dating apps? Because I feel like some of the
Speaker 1: time everyone always does. You know, they're searching and everything,
Speaker 1: and if you look look at my name, you see
Speaker 1: my face sobbing and you are making out with somebody.
Speaker 1: Um So, it just it's weird to have someone know
Speaker 1: you so personally before you have a chance to really
Speaker 1: get to know them first. Um So, yeah, you just
Speaker 1: never really know people's intentions. And I don't only translate
Speaker 1: that well over text. I don't think I'm not really
Speaker 1: that funny over I don't know. I'm like more like
Speaker 1: an in person or phone call kind a person. I
Speaker 1: can see. I can envision a scenario where you're texting
Speaker 1: someone and you're thinking, oh, I'm going to give them
Speaker 1: the funniest line, and you send it and it just
Speaker 1: comes off completely wrong. Yeah, I'm not that. I'm not
Speaker 1: that funny. That's why I failed on Twitter, and no
Speaker 1: one thinks I'm funny on Twitter, so I just don't
Speaker 1: think that isn't the worst too, when you're like in
Speaker 1: a group chat or something and you say something and
Speaker 1: you're like, this is gonna everyone's gonna laugh their ass
Speaker 1: off at this, and then you send it and like
Speaker 1: no one even validates it with a response. You're like, oh,
Speaker 1: come on, yeah, I give but perfectly. Yeah. I'm the
Speaker 1: same way too. It's like I don't know, maybe like
Speaker 1: too sarcastic or to dry humor. So it doesn't like
Speaker 1: even my friends they're always like they'll bring up my
Speaker 1: texting and they'll be like, yeah, you like you're like
Speaker 1: really bad at texting. I'm like, what do you mean?
Speaker 1: I text you back pretty regularly, like or pretty quickly,
Speaker 1: and they're like no, just like you're like really short
Speaker 1: and you're always like cold and texts. I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: intending to be that way. I feel like I just
Speaker 1: embellishments and need embellishments. Yeah, there's not enough fluff. I
Speaker 1: guess maybe my lack of capital letters. U um. It
Speaker 1: is funny to Jared's point though, I remember back when
Speaker 1: I was, you know, in my single days, back in
Speaker 1: my studying days. So I was on the dating apps
Speaker 1: and uh I saw Becka Tilly and Kaylea Quinn on
Speaker 1: the dating app on like Bumble or something like that,
Speaker 1: and I was like, Wow, these girls are so pretty.
Speaker 1: They had like professional photos, they had a little blue checkmark,
Speaker 1: and I was like, there's no way in hell these
Speaker 1: girls are ever going to be interested in talking to
Speaker 1: someone like me. So, Kendall, if someone were to come
Speaker 1: across like, let's say you're dating profile or like meets
Speaker 1: you at a bar, what would be that kind of
Speaker 1: like their way of getting your attention? Um? Well, I
Speaker 1: would say recently, people have drawn my attention if face
Speaker 1: can say something that I didn't know about or teach
Speaker 1: me something new like um um, or if I bring
Speaker 1: up something and they have something to add to the conversation.
Speaker 1: Like I was recently talking about like a moon on
Speaker 1: Jupiter that could potentially harbor life and there was like
Speaker 1: a study about it, and then this one guy was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: you mean like this moon and he had like the
Speaker 1: name of it, and I was like, that's really dang impressive.
Speaker 1: Um So I don't That's usually something that catches I
Speaker 1: when someone can kind of yeah something cool like that.
Speaker 1: I mean, it would be pretty cool if you're had
Speaker 1: life on it. But it just frozen water all across
Speaker 1: the entire surface of it, isn't it. But it's possible.
Speaker 1: If it's frozen water, then that could potentially harbor life.
Speaker 1: Maybe not. I don't know anyway, but yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker 1: See there are cool people out there, see I I
Speaker 1: kind of envisioned you with somebody opposite of that kindle
Speaker 1: if I'm being honest, because I think that you're so
Speaker 1: knowledgeable that you even on your Instagram, the way you
Speaker 1: tell people facts about different aspects of life. I think
Speaker 1: if you were with someone that that was very receptive
Speaker 1: to that but was unaware of some of that, I
Speaker 1: think that could work. I've been with a lot of listeners.
Speaker 1: I don't like when people are like that. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I like when someone can say something else besides like
Speaker 1: awesome and cool, you know, because I be in conversation
Speaker 1: with people or I don't know anything that they're talking about,
Speaker 1: and they're probably thinking, I'm not in putting anything good conversation.
Speaker 1: I mean I have interests in very niche subjects. I
Speaker 1: like a good debate or like a good bante. Well.
Speaker 1: I remember one of the first times I ever talking
Speaker 1: to you. We were talking about like something in great
Speaker 1: not digging up graves. But it's just like the conversation
Speaker 1: went off the rails. Do you remember this at all?
Speaker 1: Because you gave me a ride. This is when I
Speaker 1: was living with Nick and after we record of the podcast,
Speaker 1: and you gave me a drive back to my apartment,
Speaker 1: which is very nice of you because it was out
Speaker 1: of your way. But I didn't have a car in
Speaker 1: l A at the time, and I all the way
Speaker 1: to downtown. Unbelievable, right, what a sweetheart? So far out
Speaker 1: of the way is crazy? I like car and it's
Speaker 1: a good conversation, Like long car rides are fun. Like
Speaker 1: stuck in the conversation there's no way out, and what
Speaker 1: the hell I don't know we got on the conversation.
Speaker 1: I think of like, what is it? What is it called?
Speaker 1: What is the event called? When you go to watch
Speaker 1: the movie at the graveyard? Oh, the cinema, the something
Speaker 1: something like that. Yeah. So anyway, the point is we
Speaker 1: got on that conversation and we started talking about you
Speaker 1: had like all these interesting facts about death graves and cemeteries.
Speaker 1: And I cannot remember what the conversation was now, but
Speaker 1: it was pretty enlightening and fascinating. Oh interesting. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to think. I go through like a random It depends
Speaker 1: on I'm reading at the time, so it's probably reading
Speaker 1: something that had to do with that, and but um, yeah,
Speaker 1: so if I do remember that, it was a really
Speaker 1: interesting conversation. Yeah. Isn't that funny how you're because I haven't.
Speaker 1: I do it all the time too. You like read
Speaker 1: a book and uh, it like touches a couple of subjects,
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden you think you're like
Speaker 1: an expert on that subject and you try to bring
Speaker 1: it up in the conversation as often as you can.
Speaker 1: I do that all the time. Oh, It's how It's
Speaker 1: how I can have conversation with people. It's like, I'm like, still,
Speaker 1: there's this book I was reading. I read Bigcoin Billionaires,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I know everything there is
Speaker 1: to know about bitcoin. Alright, guys, that's good. That's also
Speaker 1: very I don't know anything about that, so that's where
Speaker 1: I lack intelligence. So it's good to have conversations with
Speaker 1: people that can like teach something new and give us
Speaker 1: a give us a rundown on the bitcoin dude stuff.
Speaker 1: It's just the story about how the Winkel Fox twins
Speaker 1: became billionaires in bitcoin. It wasn't really, I mean, an
Speaker 1: interesting fact was the first First of all, I'm this
Speaker 1: is kind of a widely known fact, but no one
Speaker 1: knows who actually created bitcoin. It's still unknown. It was
Speaker 1: a Toshi Yacumata or whatever the heck his name is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of um speculation about who it is,
Speaker 1: and a lot of people think it was Elon Musk,
Speaker 1: which I don't think it was, but no way, no way.
Speaker 1: But the first transaction ever, uh with bitcoin. I'm sure
Speaker 1: you guys know this as well was pizza. Somebody bought
Speaker 1: a pizza with it. And because it was an online forum,
Speaker 1: bitcoin was obviously still not mainstream, and it was it
Speaker 1: was a forum for just bitcoin. And then somebody was like, hey,
Speaker 1: I will give anybody on this forum a hundred bitcoin
Speaker 1: if they bring me a large cheese pizza right now.
Speaker 1: So somebody said, okay, I'll do it. So he went
Speaker 1: got the pizza, delivered it. They transferred a hundred the
Speaker 1: hundred bitcoin and that was the first transaction ever and
Speaker 1: that hundred bitcoin is like now worth like two point
Speaker 1: five billion dollars or pizza pizza. Yeah right, you want
Speaker 1: to you want to know who I always have envisioned
Speaker 1: to you dating. Not to get off the subject a bitcoin.
Speaker 1: I want you. I want you and my best friend
Speaker 1: Alex to be boyfriend and girlfriend. He's he's so intelligent,
Speaker 1: he'll he'll you could bring up a fact and hell,
Speaker 1: this is actually one of the reasons that we always
Speaker 1: fight is because he speaks a matter of factory all
Speaker 1: the time that even when he doesn't know what he's
Speaker 1: talking about, he he sounds like he does, and so
Speaker 1: like you have no choice but to believe him because
Speaker 1: you don't know what he's talking about. Um, it's funny
Speaker 1: because Caitlin says, I do that all the time as well.
Speaker 1: But you guys, I could. I would just love to
Speaker 1: be on a fly on the wall in one of
Speaker 1: your conversations because I feel like you guys would bounce
Speaker 1: off each other really well. Granted, he lives in Gross Point,
Speaker 1: Michigan and you're in Los Angeles. Um, and you're two
Speaker 1: weights too good for him anyways. But I just think
Speaker 1: that you guys would be a good little pair. No,
Speaker 1: I do think. I think. I think he's really fascinating. Um.
Speaker 1: I've had conversations without conversations with Alex before, and UM, yeah,
Speaker 1: the distance thing would be very difficult. That's partly I
Speaker 1: have a lot of triggering things because of that. I've
Speaker 1: had multiple relationships that have ended because of distance. So yeah,
Speaker 1: most most famously the one with Joe. I would suppose, right,
Speaker 1: who's that? But um, but yeah, for me, again, like
Speaker 1: I'm a very in person kind of person, and the
Speaker 1: lesson with someone in person, it's really hard for me
Speaker 1: to grow something. Well, Because I remember you talking about
Speaker 1: a prior on this podcast about how long distance would
Speaker 1: be extremely difficult for you because you don't want to
Speaker 1: move from southern California because your twin sister is there,
Speaker 1: and I remember you describing it as your twin sister
Speaker 1: is your soul mate, so to speak, and you need
Speaker 1: someone who can understand that and enter your life. H
Speaker 1: knowing that, would that be an accurate description, I would
Speaker 1: say it's not that I would never move ever. Um,
Speaker 1: it's more so that if there can be some form
Speaker 1: of relationship that is developed here or in some way
Speaker 1: could be developed, and then if there was a proper
Speaker 1: conversation that it made sense to move somewhere else, or
Speaker 1: if I can get a job somewhere else, Like I
Speaker 1: like being independent. I don't like depending on everyone's friend
Speaker 1: group and job and everything. Like I like to have
Speaker 1: my own thing going on or else. You know, I
Speaker 1: don't know, I get really frustrated and boards. So yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just don't want to live off of somebody. I'd
Speaker 1: rather live live like equally with somebody right alongside someone.
Speaker 1: I think that's definitely very important too, And that's something
Speaker 1: I always I haven't mentioned in in previous conversations too,
Speaker 1: is I definitely agree. It's like you should be independent
Speaker 1: of each other and then you come together and it's great.
Speaker 1: It shouldn't be like one person lying on the other
Speaker 1: person for anything or anything otherwise. But all right, well, Kendall,
Speaker 1: we're gonna take one quick break. We've got some great
Speaker 1: dating topics we would like to discuss a little deeper
Speaker 1: with you, So for the listeners, stay tuned through the break,
Speaker 1: We'll be right back, all right, welcome back to help.
Speaker 1: I suck at dating Dean myself, Kendall, we do have
Speaker 1: a couple dating topics we do want to get to,
Speaker 1: including one about Kanye West being accused of recreating an
Speaker 1: iconic photo of him and himself with Kim Kardashian, but
Speaker 1: he did it with his new girlfriend. Now. I don't know,
Speaker 1: sounds gonna wacky, but I did have some questions, Kendall,
Speaker 1: about you in this past season of Bachelor in Paradise
Speaker 1: because watching it was I think difficult for a lot
Speaker 1: of audience members because they've fallen in love with you
Speaker 1: and Joe and seeing two people just not work out.
Speaker 1: Because most of the time when relationship ends, it ends
Speaker 1: because it's it's bad, right, Like something happens, somebody cheated,
Speaker 1: one person falls out of love, and you know, we
Speaker 1: don't know the specifics of what happened with you and Joe,
Speaker 1: but it really felt like it was just two people
Speaker 1: that like cared about at each other and it just
Speaker 1: didn't work out. And so when you went back on Paradise,
Speaker 1: what was your mindset? Did you go back thinking, Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go and try to date other people, or
Speaker 1: I'm going to go and try to see if I
Speaker 1: can work things out with Joe. Um. No, I definitely
Speaker 1: went on thinking I would date other people. Um. You
Speaker 1: don't go on a reality TV show to date someone
Speaker 1: that you have like two years of history with, you know,
Speaker 1: because there's just so much that you can't bring up
Speaker 1: on TV and you don't want to talk about publicly
Speaker 1: because you respect the person too much to like bring
Speaker 1: in your dirty laundry. Um. And when I went on,
Speaker 1: I had people that I was interested in, and so, UM,
Speaker 1: I think I just didn't expect how much of a
Speaker 1: time machine going back would be. And uh, it was
Speaker 1: very difficult. Yeah. And then when you go in late
Speaker 1: you feel weird. You're like why am I here? You know,
Speaker 1: people already know each other, there's already like bonds developing,
Speaker 1: everyone's in a relationship. I'm not the kind of person
Speaker 1: that's gonna be like, hey, like, can I steal your
Speaker 1: I don't steal people's guys. Like either there's interest, so
Speaker 1: there's not you know. So it was really awkward and weird.
Speaker 1: So and I wanted to ask because I feel like
Speaker 1: there's a lot of people out there that go through
Speaker 1: similar situations. Obviously they know date a beach right in
Speaker 1: front of their ax. Having said that, there are a
Speaker 1: lot of people that go and start seeing other people
Speaker 1: who might not be ready or are still emotionally torn.
Speaker 1: And I feel like a lot of people ask us
Speaker 1: on the podcast, Hey, when am I going to be
Speaker 1: ready to start dating again? And can you give advice
Speaker 1: to anybody out there who might be going through a
Speaker 1: situation like that where they're wanting to meet other people
Speaker 1: but there's still something drawn back, you know, them back
Speaker 1: to their ex. What would you tell them, Um, it's
Speaker 1: hard to leave what's comfortable and what's familiar. I think
Speaker 1: there's safety in that, um. And so for me, when
Speaker 1: I was in a position that felt so unsafe and awkward,
Speaker 1: I was feeling like I wanted to go back to
Speaker 1: something that felt safe and felt sure. Um, but when
Speaker 1: you can't do that, uh, I don't know. Like now,
Speaker 1: in the real world, I feel like whenever I see
Speaker 1: safety in somebody, that's when it's like a good sign that, um,
Speaker 1: I can move forward with them, you know, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know if there's a specific like thing that
Speaker 1: happens just all of a sudden it becomes easier, and
Speaker 1: it's easier because, um, because conversations get easier, or you
Speaker 1: find interest in somebody, like you develop a friendship first
Speaker 1: with somebody. If that makes sense, I'm not sure. If
Speaker 1: it's no, Yeah, that totally makes sense. I guess my
Speaker 1: question was, um, you know, it's never like there's no
Speaker 1: right answer. That's the issue when people ask like, hey,
Speaker 1: should I you know, should I take time for myself
Speaker 1: and not go on dates or should I just go
Speaker 1: on a bunch of dates and kind of like try
Speaker 1: to move on or should I focus on myself? And
Speaker 1: it's really difficult to answer the question. I feel like
Speaker 1: DNA and I continue to go through this process of
Speaker 1: like trying to give it the best advices we possibly can.
Speaker 1: And that's why I wanted to ask about your advice
Speaker 1: because we saw it kind of play out with you
Speaker 1: on National TV whereas you were told and it was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: there's I'm ready to date other people, but I'm still
Speaker 1: kind of feeling things for my ex and it's really
Speaker 1: weird and and you're not. I feel like so many
Speaker 1: people go through that and I wish I could give
Speaker 1: better advice on it. That's all you think you're over
Speaker 1: your X until you see them in a public place
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh that I thought I was completely over,
Speaker 1: you know, Like I think you can all relate, even
Speaker 1: like if you're you know, maybe you're at the mall
Speaker 1: one day or you're out somewhere and then you see
Speaker 1: your ex walking and you're like, it's just like all
Speaker 1: of a sudden thing like flashes through. Um. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: very Uh, it's just very surprising. I don't think we
Speaker 1: can really, I don't know. It was for me. I
Speaker 1: didn't expect it. I didn't expect it to be. Well,
Speaker 1: there's a formula to it. You know what they say
Speaker 1: for every year you dated, you have to take one
Speaker 1: month to not date, So if you did it for
Speaker 1: two years, you have to take two months off. But
Speaker 1: I mean that's obviously just whatever that means, that's meaningless. Um,
Speaker 1: did you watch did you watch? That's what this is,
Speaker 1: like the rule of thumb? That makes it no sense
Speaker 1: that I heard one time that I think maybe you
Speaker 1: might be valuable for some people to know. Did you
Speaker 1: did you watch Paradise Back? Um? I saw bits and
Speaker 1: pieces of it, but I didn't watch the full thing. Um. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not a masochist sometimes for some things, I guess, yeah,
Speaker 1: but not for that that's that's reasonable. Um yeah, I
Speaker 1: would say I had a similar experience, but not even
Speaker 1: close to years, but like a little baby baby version
Speaker 1: of just when I went back to the beach and
Speaker 1: Christina was there. Obviously Christina I didn't date for two
Speaker 1: years like you and Joe did and all that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff. But I agree with what you're saying, like
Speaker 1: it's very uh, it's not like traumatic, but it kind
Speaker 1: of like helps like puts things into perspective for better
Speaker 1: or for worse, you know. So Um, like I said,
Speaker 1: my situation can't even hold a candle tears, so mine
Speaker 1: was affecting me a little bit less. But I can
Speaker 1: definitely see where you're coming from with all that stuff.
Speaker 1: And it's it's hard to like, like you said, you
Speaker 1: could be walking down the mall, through the mall and
Speaker 1: you see your X and all of a sudden you're
Speaker 1: like reminded, like flushed with all these memories, or you
Speaker 1: like mel his cologne that I guess you maybe like
Speaker 1: walk through by like the Nordstrom rack or something like whoa.
Speaker 1: But and it's so hard because you know, full transparency
Speaker 1: that's happened to me while I've been with Ashley, and
Speaker 1: it doesn't change my feelings for ash but it's always
Speaker 1: it makes me feel guilty even though you can't help it,
Speaker 1: you know, like you see a picture of an ex
Speaker 1: or you hear news about it, like you just get
Speaker 1: like whacked in the face with all these memories and
Speaker 1: emotions and then people, you know, it's just like it's
Speaker 1: it's it's like wait a minute, no, no no, I shouldn't
Speaker 1: be feeling this, and it's like no, no no, no, It's
Speaker 1: just it's a thing, you know, like everybody goes through
Speaker 1: it anyway. So that's my point to maybe, I guess,
Speaker 1: just make my self not feel as guilty. I think
Speaker 1: it's almost it's very difficult to never to not love
Speaker 1: somebody after you allowed them in and you've loved them. Um,
Speaker 1: so I think it's okay to love multiple people in
Speaker 1: that way. But um it's weird when you knew someone
Speaker 1: so well they become a complete stranger and then you're
Speaker 1: reminded of like, oh, yeah, that was my best friend.
Speaker 1: Like that's weird, you know. It's like, but I can't
Speaker 1: talk to them ever again. It's the worst too, when
Speaker 1: you hear about, like because you get close to people's
Speaker 1: families and friends and so you hear about things that
Speaker 1: are happening to them, or god forbid, they lose a
Speaker 1: family member, and it's like, I just want to reach
Speaker 1: out and just be like, hey, I hope everything is okay.
Speaker 1: But then it's that you know, you're like, wait, am
Speaker 1: I just being selfish to fulfill my own needs by
Speaker 1: reaching out and not actually to make sure they're okay,
Speaker 1: but just you know, because I feel guilt. I don't
Speaker 1: really know. It's just a weird mind bleep. You make
Speaker 1: a good point to Kendall. It's interesting. Um, It's something
Speaker 1: experience when I was younger, but not so much my
Speaker 1: adult life, where when you go through a breakup, you
Speaker 1: are essentially like losing your best friend because like, let's
Speaker 1: face it, you spend all your time, most of your
Speaker 1: free time at least with this person. Um, And when
Speaker 1: you have like a best friend, like a platonic best friend,
Speaker 1: whoever it is, you don't just go through it. There's
Speaker 1: not just like one moment where you're like, okay, you're
Speaker 1: no longer best friends, as you would in a relationship
Speaker 1: where there's like a defining moment that then breaks you
Speaker 1: guys up to no longer boyfriend girlfriend, which also means
Speaker 1: you lost your best friend as well as your partner.
Speaker 1: So it is like it's like a flux of emotions
Speaker 1: because not only are you losing your romantic partner, but
Speaker 1: you're also losing your best friend. I remember I was
Speaker 1: having a conversation with my friend UM a long long
Speaker 1: time ago, after having just gone through a breakup, and
Speaker 1: I was like crying every day because of it, and
Speaker 1: he's like, dude, just get over it, like she was
Speaker 1: just your girlfriend, and I was like, she was more
Speaker 1: than that. She was my best friend. You don't understand, uh,
Speaker 1: And yeah, I so I fully agree with where you're
Speaker 1: coming from. It's like you're losing a lot more than
Speaker 1: just a partner. You're losing your best friend. You're losing
Speaker 1: your roommate in a lot of cases too. Um. But
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't even know where I'm going
Speaker 1: with this. It just it definitely, it definitely sucks, and
Speaker 1: then it sucks even more, and it's compounded even more
Speaker 1: when you have to see them uh day on television
Speaker 1: and subsequently get engaged. I think that I think that
Speaker 1: we shared this already. I can't remember if I have
Speaker 1: with you here or not. But it was funny because
Speaker 1: that last day of Paradise, Kalen and I were walking
Speaker 1: out to the beach and we see this, We see
Speaker 1: this little blond girl pook her head out of her
Speaker 1: hotel room as we're walking the elevator. And was like,
Speaker 1: I didn't I didn't piece it together what was going on.
Speaker 1: And Kiln was like, you know, that was Kendall right
Speaker 1: there in the room, right And I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, no way, we're in for a real treat
Speaker 1: out there in the beach today. Yeah. I didn't well,
Speaker 1: I didn't really know what day it was, all the
Speaker 1: things that were happening that day. Um, And so it
Speaker 1: was funny when I saw you guys, I was like,
Speaker 1: I thought you guys were going to get engaged or
Speaker 1: something like. That's what I thought I saw. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm sure, of course, why not, That's what I thought.
Speaker 1: So I was laughing because I was just like, um,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I know why they're here. I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess I didn't like even like associate it with
Speaker 1: you know, why you were really there? So yeah, well yeah,
Speaker 1: but hey, whatever, it is what it is. Dared else
Speaker 1: you want to talk about besides morning the past? I
Speaker 1: mean I love morning past. Put on a little acoustic music.
Speaker 1: I would be good to good times. Put the shades down.
Speaker 1: I'll just cry myself to sleep. We do have some
Speaker 1: topics though, that I do want to get to. We
Speaker 1: have two hot topics before we get into emails. First,
Speaker 1: I gotta ask you guys a question. Would you drink
Speaker 1: your significant others blood? No? Why? Why is this happening?
Speaker 1: I need the intention of drinking this blood? All right? Well,
Speaker 1: the headline, so I'm sure. I don't know if you
Speaker 1: guys are heard, but Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly,
Speaker 1: celebrity couple are now engaged, and apparently they sealed the
Speaker 1: union of engagement by drinking each other's blood. It's weird. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't do Yeah, it seems more so. That's that's
Speaker 1: more so like a for a headline, as opposed to
Speaker 1: I mean, maybe they genuinely believe it, or they have
Speaker 1: some sort of religious practice where that's you embody them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: cannibals that eat other people thinking that they'll always be
Speaker 1: a part of them because they've internalized them. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know. So I heard about this too, and I'm
Speaker 1: trying to figure out exactly why they drank each other's blood.
Speaker 1: This is not the first, but like apparently they were
Speaker 1: in a music video last year called Bloody Valentine. I
Speaker 1: think it's a machine Gun Kelly song and they call
Speaker 1: each other their twin flames and they said they had
Speaker 1: an instant connection and I can't find it now I'm losing.
Speaker 1: But anyway, they drank each other's blood to seal that
Speaker 1: they are like twin flames, and they it's kind of
Speaker 1: you know what it feels like, you know. I don't
Speaker 1: know Dean's you ever become blood brothers with someone? But
Speaker 1: I never did that either, and I was ting. I
Speaker 1: almost did it one time. I remember, we couldn't. It
Speaker 1: was like I was probably six or seven. Maybe it
Speaker 1: was my buddy Jimmy, and we grew up together, and
Speaker 1: we thought it was going to be like the coolest
Speaker 1: thing together. You were still girl, you haven't even grown
Speaker 1: up yet. All right. A lot happened in my first
Speaker 1: seven years. A lot. Okay, I was like thirty at
Speaker 1: that point in my soul. But we tried. I don't
Speaker 1: know if I don't remember if we got a knife
Speaker 1: or something, but I remember it was just like way
Speaker 1: too painful and we ended up not doing But the
Speaker 1: idea that we were going to do that in the
Speaker 1: first place is disgusting to me now, the fact that
Speaker 1: we're going to cut each other's hands and then put
Speaker 1: our hands together. Who our dude. I would never drink Ashley's,
Speaker 1: but I didn't know if I can be in the
Speaker 1: delivery room, let alone. Like the idea of sipping on it,
Speaker 1: Like how much blood was it was like a cup
Speaker 1: of blood. Was it like a little cut where they
Speaker 1: like licked each other's cut or something. I bet you
Speaker 1: that's what it was. And they like suck there like
Speaker 1: they pricked their finger and then sucked it off the
Speaker 1: finger or something like that. That's my guest, Like that
Speaker 1: would be funny. I don't know. I can see that
Speaker 1: being like funny thing like where you just do it
Speaker 1: because it's like a weird thing you do together. But um,
Speaker 1: to make it very serious like this is like that's
Speaker 1: like the next level, very satanic, and a lot of
Speaker 1: it would embody your soul. So in the Instagram caption
Speaker 1: that she posted when she announced Megan Fox that they
Speaker 1: were engaged talking about the work and the sacrifices of
Speaker 1: the relationship. Blah bah blahah blah, and she said somewhere
Speaker 1: a year and a half later, having walked through hell
Speaker 1: together and having laughed more than I ever imagined possible,
Speaker 1: he asked me to marry him, And just as in
Speaker 1: every lifetime before this one, and as in every lifetime
Speaker 1: that will follow it, I said yes. And then we
Speaker 1: drank each other's blood. That could be like a metaphor, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, it could be a metaphor of like we
Speaker 1: drank in each other and I don't know, like the
Speaker 1: ether would drink in the aura of each other's blood, right, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's maybe they did literally do it.
Speaker 1: But I love that twin flames though, because my brother
Speaker 1: and his wife call each other twin flames all the time,
Speaker 1: and now all I can imagine is my brother and
Speaker 1: his wife drinking each other's blood. Well, it's a twin flame.
Speaker 1: Is like when you wasn't there like a myth where
Speaker 1: you originally started out as two people combined or one person,
Speaker 1: and then you like somehow you're like split in half.
Speaker 1: You to keep finding the other. Zeus was fearful of
Speaker 1: the power of the superhuman, so he split them in
Speaker 1: half with his lightning bolt. Yeah, that's so interesting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was my favorite. That was my Platos and Posium
Speaker 1: short story. It's very good. So twin Flame is your
Speaker 1: own soul shared across what appears to be two physical beings.
Speaker 1: It's the soul split into two bodies, right, Yeah, so
Speaker 1: the story, the story goes according to my philosophy on
Speaker 1: on one class in college, is uh in Greek mythology
Speaker 1: that humans used to have four legs, four arms, two heads,
Speaker 1: and Zeus was fearful of the humans overpowering the Greek gods,
Speaker 1: and so he split them in half. Of the lightning bolt,
Speaker 1: and the rest of the person's life from then on
Speaker 1: is finding the person that Zeus split you apart from,
Speaker 1: and that's like your soul mate or your twin flame.
Speaker 1: I guess. I never I never thought it was. I
Speaker 1: never knew it was a twin flame aspect. But yeah,
Speaker 1: my brother and his wife called each other toWin flame
Speaker 1: all the time. Very cute, very adorable and machinegun Kelly
Speaker 1: say it, um, it's just a little creepy. I don't
Speaker 1: know what it is. Adorable, romantic, I don't know. That's
Speaker 1: a good question. You could be your twin Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a fair point. Well, here are the six signs
Speaker 1: of whether you found your twin flame or not. So
Speaker 1: when you meet this person, if you have a sense
Speaker 1: that you're meeting yourself, that's a sign that this is
Speaker 1: your twin flame. Possible. Also, you could have multiple similarities
Speaker 1: sometimes uncanny. These seem very vague. You have a deep connection,
Speaker 1: a desire to grow, prioritizzation of growth over being in
Speaker 1: a relationship, so you'd rather grow together than being a relationship.
Speaker 1: So maybe it isn't romantic. Maybe you're right, Kendle, And
Speaker 1: then the meeting signifies a major change in your life.
Speaker 1: Those are super vague. I don't know if I like that. Yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: pertained to a couple different people in my life. Those
Speaker 1: are like horoscopes where they're like, yeah, like maybe this
Speaker 1: will happen, or maybe you feel this way about something,
Speaker 1: And then they're so broad that they apply to basically
Speaker 1: anyone that's reading it and they're like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: that's me ya, Like Jared, Jared, you might be my
Speaker 1: twin twin flame, Kendall, Hey, by all means you could
Speaker 1: be my twin flame. Two because all want to be
Speaker 1: each other's twin flame. That'd be great. The only way
Speaker 1: we have made it through his podcast for three years
Speaker 1: is because we're twin flames. Alright, last headline before we
Speaker 1: do emails. This is UH an article about Kanye West
Speaker 1: is accused of recreating an iconic photo of himself and
Speaker 1: Kim Kardashian with his new girlfriend Julia Fox. So apparently
Speaker 1: he recreated a photo that him and Kim took a
Speaker 1: very long time ago. If you guys don't know, Kim
Speaker 1: and Kanye broke up or got divorced? Were they married?
Speaker 1: They were married, right, Yeah, so they got divorced, and
Speaker 1: Kanye has been very open about wanting to get back
Speaker 1: with Kim, and Kim is way too busy with her
Speaker 1: brand new boyfriend Pete Davidson. First of all, how do
Speaker 1: we feel about Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian. It's a
Speaker 1: unexpected coupling. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know too much. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's just because it's so wacky. I love
Speaker 1: Pete Davidson I always have, and the fact that he's
Speaker 1: getting Kim Kardashian is like the coolest thing. I'm also
Speaker 1: someone was to be dating someone else, like some other girl,
Speaker 1: and then came with getting jealous and territorial or something
Speaker 1: wasn't she I have no idea, but I don't know
Speaker 1: how Pete Davidson like gets every girl in the world,
Speaker 1: but he's doing something right. Um. I also love Ben
Speaker 1: Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, Like I just love the idea
Speaker 1: of like a of a of a guy like Ben Afflecks,
Speaker 1: like that rough roality Boston guy who's like dating the
Speaker 1: queen of queens and it's kind of similar. While I
Speaker 1: love Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian because Pete is this
Speaker 1: like skinny, like you know, I mean, not traditionally good looking,
Speaker 1: but like very charming, which makes him good looking type guy.
Speaker 1: And then now he's dating like, you know, the Queen,
Speaker 1: the Queen, you know, Kim Kardashian queen anyway, the queen Queen.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I said queen about seven times in
Speaker 1: the past four minutes. Way too bad, all right. So
Speaker 1: apparently a TikTok user that goes by the name in
Speaker 1: sid we Trust alerted all of her or his followers
Speaker 1: of the potential diss and a video clip over the Weekend,
Speaker 1: uh so apparently in a post, they shared a picture
Speaker 1: from the musician's recent Interview magazine photo shoot alongside his
Speaker 1: new girlfriend, Julius So Kanye and Julia and in the image,
Speaker 1: the two are cuddling on a couch of a restaurant.
Speaker 1: While Kanye hid his face in a black hood, Julia,
Speaker 1: his new girlfriend, rested her head on his shoulder. I'm
Speaker 1: just really paying the picture for you guys here in
Speaker 1: in the intimate photo, which was taken to announce their
Speaker 1: relationship as official um now, the TikTok this in side
Speaker 1: we trust switched the shot to an old photo of
Speaker 1: Kanye and Kim as they snuggled on the couch during
Speaker 1: their marriage. Both had their eyes closed as they cuddled
Speaker 1: in the throwback photo, and the user popped in with
Speaker 1: a sad face to share the despair of the similarities.
Speaker 1: Other fans raced to the comments to share their own
Speaker 1: theories regarding the fact that Kim. Excuse me, Kanye recreated
Speaker 1: this photo of Julia of an old photo with Kim,
Speaker 1: and all these people are saying he did to hurt her.
Speaker 1: He's trying so hard, but what pisces me off. He's
Speaker 1: not allowed to cuddle on a couch with his new girlfriend.
Speaker 1: What does that even mean? Not anymore anymore to do
Speaker 1: with Kim Kardashian here and allowed to do it ever
Speaker 1: again with anyone else. That's a weird thing. I find that,
Speaker 1: Like I find that if you are in the public
Speaker 1: life eye in some sense, every single thing could be
Speaker 1: picked apart, you know, and it's so it's so weird,
Speaker 1: Like his intention was probably just like this is a
Speaker 1: cool couch photo, and um, then everyone calls him desperate
Speaker 1: or calls him all these things. Like I don't know,
Speaker 1: I can empathize with that. I think we've all had
Speaker 1: things just kind of like really dissected and ripped apart. Um,
Speaker 1: So I don't know. I think that sucks that he
Speaker 1: has to can't I agree? I think it sucks. And
Speaker 1: granted I haven't been a fan of Kanye since like,
Speaker 1: but it is still very unfair too for like news
Speaker 1: outlets quote one quote to be making these leaps. It's like,
Speaker 1: what is he supposed to do? Not take a photo
Speaker 1: ever again with the person that he's dating. Come on,
Speaker 1: come on, that's ridiculous. And as a as a guy, well,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying like I'm so only speaking personally here,
Speaker 1: I only got so many tricks in my bag, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. For example, there definitely been times
Speaker 1: where I've given gifts to significant others, maybe even my
Speaker 1: current significant other, that have been similar to gifts that
Speaker 1: I've given to past significant others. But it's only because
Speaker 1: like whether it be notes or letters or things like that,
Speaker 1: Like I'm only there's only so much creativity in this
Speaker 1: little Rhode Island brain of mine, and so like I
Speaker 1: could easily be accused of recreating or doing something similar
Speaker 1: to the past, and it's like, well, duh, you know
Speaker 1: what am I supposed to do? Nobody am I getting
Speaker 1: way too? If you give flowers to somebody, maybe the
Speaker 1: flowers are different, but it's still like a similar gesture.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. There's certain ways of people
Speaker 1: that you show that you care about somebody, but it's
Speaker 1: different because it's a different person. Yea, yeah exactly. Once
Speaker 1: a on a time, one of my friends was dating
Speaker 1: a public figure and he uh, she was posting like
Speaker 1: a lot of the stuff that he was doing for her,
Speaker 1: and he kept telling me, He's like, I tell her
Speaker 1: not to post anything I do because like, let's be honest.
Speaker 1: I do this with everyone I date. And if she
Speaker 1: keeps posting about it, like everyone's gonna know my secrets,
Speaker 1: it's pretty I mean it's true. Like you, you know,
Speaker 1: you find stuff that works for you and you stick
Speaker 1: with it. I don't think there's anything wrong with that
Speaker 1: per se um. It's just it's like when it comes
Speaker 1: to this extent, like this whole Kanye West thing, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, Kanye West isn't allowed to take a picture
Speaker 1: on a couch with his eyes closed anymore because he
Speaker 1: once did it with Kim Kardashian. No, no, Sid, what
Speaker 1: is it called? And Sid? We trust? I'm sorry, we
Speaker 1: don't trust it. But let's take a couple of seats.
Speaker 1: Why don't you sit? Al Right, guys, we're gonna take
Speaker 1: one quick break here. Um, we're gonna come back to emails,
Speaker 1: So stay tuned. We'll be right back. Hey, guys and
Speaker 1: Ashley from the Almost Famous podcast. It's that time of
Speaker 1: year where drama fills the air. The Bachelor is back
Speaker 1: with an all new season premiering January three. There's a
Speaker 1: new host, Jesse Palmer, and a brand new Bachelor, Clayton.
Speaker 1: Clayton is a Midwest boy that has that great smile,
Speaker 1: nice teeth, and he's really tall. Ash Let's call it
Speaker 1: what it is. He's a beefcake. Okay. Well, Clayton seems
Speaker 1: to be a good guy though, and he can't wait
Speaker 1: to find love, get married, and have kids, and he
Speaker 1: believes more than anything that his future wife is on
Speaker 1: this show. It sounds like a fairy tale but also
Speaker 1: a bit of an emotional world coaster because Clayton tells
Speaker 1: three different women he's falling in love with him. Technically,
Speaker 1: he told one, I couldn't be more sure that I'm
Speaker 1: falling in love with you, and another one, I'm falling
Speaker 1: in love with you, and the third one, I am
Speaker 1: in love with you. You don't miss a thing. It's
Speaker 1: from you. Is of over analyzing everything that guys say,
Speaker 1: but his heart is in the right place. The other
Speaker 1: parts of him as we find out what he admits
Speaker 1: to two different women that he was intimate with both
Speaker 1: of them. Yeah, I don't think it's gonna go over well,
Speaker 1: we'll be breaking down at all. On the almost famous
Speaker 1: podcast Ben is Married Now, Well, Ashley is a mob.
Speaker 1: We'll change our opinions of what we think is acceptable
Speaker 1: single behavior. Good question. Listen to Almost Famous on the
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio app, on Apple podcasts or wherever you
Speaker 1: get your podcasts. Okay, everyone, welcome back to help I
Speaker 1: suck at dating. It's time for my favorite segment, emails. Um,
Speaker 1: do we have Easton? Is very Easton present that's listening
Speaker 1: to this podcast? That wouldn't mind reading one or two
Speaker 1: of these for us? I mean, Eastern might be president,
Speaker 1: but he's definitely not listening. I'm I'm president and I'm listening,
Speaker 1: and I definitely have the mails pulled up. I definitely
Speaker 1: have them ready because I was expecting to do this,
Speaker 1: because it's an honor and a privilege to do this
Speaker 1: every week, and I have the email right here. Let's
Speaker 1: do it. You know, the first time you said definitely,
Speaker 1: I believed you. The second definitely through me for a
Speaker 1: loop and make me think otherwise. But you know what
Speaker 1: I was thinking too. Maybe every week we should have
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is even plausible, and it's
Speaker 1: probably gonna make Estan's job a lot more difficult, but
Speaker 1: let's try it. Anyway. Maybe we could have a listener
Speaker 1: call in and read an email. We uh, We did
Speaker 1: the listener call ins for a while at the very
Speaker 1: beginning of this podcast. And I'm sure Easton can attest
Speaker 1: it's it's maybe not the best format, it's a it's
Speaker 1: a really fun format. It's a really fun format, and uh,
Speaker 1: and it might be coming back, Dean, going to be
Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of fun. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I'm allowed to say that or not. It was
Speaker 1: a lot of like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe
Speaker 1: I'm on the phone with you, Like I can't believe
Speaker 1: we're here right now. And it's like, Okay, well, what's
Speaker 1: your question, And they're like, I don't even have a question.
Speaker 1: I just can't believe I'm on the phone on this
Speaker 1: podcast right now. So that's that's what I remember being, No,
Speaker 1: I can't believe I'm on the phone with you, and
Speaker 1: I have the Yeah, the disparity between how I was
Speaker 1: and how I am now is quite great, so both
Speaker 1: of us. My friend, yeah, right right. Well, let's say
Speaker 1: this first one is from anonymous. I've been in a
Speaker 1: relationship with my boyfriend for two years. He moved in
Speaker 1: with me six months ago after his lease was up,
Speaker 1: and we decided that since he was always sleeping over anyways,
Speaker 1: would be best if you just moved in and didn't
Speaker 1: find another place. We never necessarily had the conversation about
Speaker 1: what this step meant in our relationship. To me, it
Speaker 1: was always a temporary thing until my own lease was up. Now,
Speaker 1: six months later, as my own lease is coming to
Speaker 1: an end, he has begun asking questions like should we renew?
Speaker 1: Should we move someplace else? Long story short, How do
Speaker 1: I break it to him that I'm not ready to
Speaker 1: move in with him permanently. I mean, I love him,
Speaker 1: We've been together for two years, but I just feel
Speaker 1: like that's a huge commitment and I don't know if
Speaker 1: I'm ready for it. I don't know if it's because
Speaker 1: I'm only twenty three and he's thirty, and I'm still
Speaker 1: unsure of what the future can hold. I want my space,
Speaker 1: I want him to stay over. Some days, I know
Speaker 1: if I tell him if I want to continue living alone,
Speaker 1: he'll think it's because I don't see a future with
Speaker 1: him in the long run, or he'll start overthinking if
Speaker 1: I hated living together for the last six months. Help.
Speaker 1: How do I go about about this in the best
Speaker 1: way possible. It sounds like you guys already lived together,
Speaker 1: so I don't know why you said more permanently because
Speaker 1: she was going to be temporarily. Yeah, she's already for
Speaker 1: like indefinitely. It was pretty I was pretty against her
Speaker 1: up until she said something along the lines of I
Speaker 1: still want my own space. I want to be able
Speaker 1: to like pick and choose when we hang out. And
Speaker 1: then I was like, you know what, that makes a
Speaker 1: little bit of sense. I think all you gotta do
Speaker 1: is just tell him that you know. But I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's funny because Nick always talks about when couples moving together,
Speaker 1: not always, but you talked about it a few times,
Speaker 1: and he says, if you're ever moving in with someone
Speaker 1: for like financial reasons, then you're not ready to move
Speaker 1: in with them. So like, let's be honest, if you
Speaker 1: guys financially need to live together, and like that's the
Speaker 1: one reason you guys are gonna move in together, maybe
Speaker 1: not a good idea, but um, I mean I I
Speaker 1: am always an advocate for having on personal space. So
Speaker 1: I said, just have a conversation with him about it.
Speaker 1: I've done that. I've moved in with someone, um, when
Speaker 1: I was twenty because of financial reasons. And once you
Speaker 1: take a step forward, it's really hard to take a
Speaker 1: step back without people taking it personally. You know, it's uh,
Speaker 1: it always signifies like, oh, we're going forward to our
Speaker 1: relationships going forward. So if you go back, does that
Speaker 1: mean our relationships going back? I think it just depends
Speaker 1: if you if you like who you are in that
Speaker 1: dynamic of your life while you're living with that person,
Speaker 1: because it completely changes your relationship you know. Um, and
Speaker 1: if you don't feel like you're ready to uh, I
Speaker 1: feel like you have to tell them what you're doing
Speaker 1: all the time because you kind of do. It's like
Speaker 1: if you go out with friends, like are you coming back?
Speaker 1: Where you're coming back? Like, I'm I going to be
Speaker 1: here Amy, not who's making dinner blah blah. So you
Speaker 1: are just like so on each other's lives. If you're
Speaker 1: not ready for that, then that's completely fair. But uh yeah,
Speaker 1: do you think do you think if you live with
Speaker 1: a significant other? Um? You because this is the first
Speaker 1: time I've ever heard this and I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: absorb it a little bit more, do you think you're
Speaker 1: kind of are required more to tell them like your
Speaker 1: constant whereabouts? Um? If it's more so in terms of
Speaker 1: like respecting their time or respecting the space, and like
Speaker 1: it's it's like you you kind of have to play,
Speaker 1: like when we go to bed together, like if you
Speaker 1: don't come home later at night, is because you got
Speaker 1: hit by a car, or it's kind of just like
Speaker 1: checking in to make sure you know. For the record,
Speaker 1: I agree with you. I just I have never heard
Speaker 1: of rebalize before, so I'm just trying to process it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's kind of just because if you live in the
Speaker 1: same space, there's more questions asked you, what do you
Speaker 1: do today, you were gone for this amount of time,
Speaker 1: or you didn't come home last night with you know
Speaker 1: what happened then? Like and when you and when you
Speaker 1: live separately, there's kind of more of like an unspoken
Speaker 1: understanding of like, Okay, we don't have to keep each
Speaker 1: other updated on every movie make it's just not in
Speaker 1: front of your face, you know, right right? Good point? Yeah, Jared,
Speaker 1: what do you think Ashley tracks Me's just she knows
Speaker 1: every step I take everywhere, And initially I was against it,
Speaker 1: but now I like it because now I know where
Speaker 1: she is, so anytimes she doesn't pick up the phone,
Speaker 1: I can look and say, okay, she's here. Actually funny enough,
Speaker 1: we always so she always wants to call and say
Speaker 1: good night, like good night love. You make sure it's
Speaker 1: good to go. One time, I passed out early on
Speaker 1: the couch. I don't remember. I didn't call her. She
Speaker 1: was in Virginia. I was home by myself. She so
Speaker 1: she tried calling me for like three hours straight, hysterically crying.
Speaker 1: Was convinced that I choked on a grape and died
Speaker 1: on the couch by my called. So I'm so, I
Speaker 1: don't know how I didn't wake up to any of
Speaker 1: her phone calls. But then I looked over. This was
Speaker 1: like three o'clock in the morning. It was my buddy
Speaker 1: Kenny calling me, and I was like, what the hell?
Speaker 1: So I picked up my phone. I was like hello,
Speaker 1: and he goes what's up? And I was like, I
Speaker 1: thought he was drunk or something. I'm like, bro, what's
Speaker 1: going on? And he was like, what's going on with me?
Speaker 1: What's going on with you? Your wife's hysterically crying calling us.
Speaker 1: I'm on my way to your apartment now to make
Speaker 1: sure you're alive. And I was like, oh, Jesus Christ,
Speaker 1: so I'm it. So as I said that, I was
Speaker 1: like oh, and then I just hung out the phone
Speaker 1: and immediately called Ashley back because I knew exactly what
Speaker 1: was going on. She picks up, She's like, what the
Speaker 1: if you were doing? I thought you choked. I thought
Speaker 1: you died. I was like, you didn't see that I
Speaker 1: was home. She's like, yeah, I did see you at home,
Speaker 1: and I thought you died by yourself in the house
Speaker 1: and I was going to be a widow and have
Speaker 1: to raise this kid on my own. And I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: that was a traumatic night for a couple of hours.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry about that, but good night. I'll talk to
Speaker 1: But see, you've kind of said the precedent then where
Speaker 1: it's like, if you, like in this case, where you
Speaker 1: miss one phone call, then all of a sudden it
Speaker 1: becomes this big ordeal. Yeah, snowball effected the slippery slope.
Speaker 1: But for the record, I also have my location on
Speaker 1: for like everyone. I want everyone to know where I
Speaker 1: am at all times. I've got no secrets to hide,
Speaker 1: and I like, let's say I get kidnapped or something.
Speaker 1: I want all my friends to be able to like
Speaker 1: track my location and figure out where I am. You know. Um.
Speaker 1: But to answer the question for anonymous, I think I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go on a little bit of a allege here,
Speaker 1: to which I apologize anonymous. But when you're on a
Speaker 1: ledge my favorite kind of version of you, I think, anonymous.
Speaker 1: If you ask your boyfriend to move out, where you
Speaker 1: guys go separate, it's over. You invited your twenty three,
Speaker 1: so you're young, You have plenty time. You guys bigget
Speaker 1: it for two years, which is great, But you invited
Speaker 1: a third year old man to live with you. He
Speaker 1: is very much ready to live, settle down, and move
Speaker 1: forward and and be done with the dating scene my guests,
Speaker 1: which is why he's like, should we renew? Should we
Speaker 1: look at a new place? Like he in his mind,
Speaker 1: you two are living together and you're moving forward in
Speaker 1: this direction. So I think if you're like, hey, listen,
Speaker 1: I thought it was temporarily gonna be a living together situation,
Speaker 1: I think he's gonna take that personally, and then I
Speaker 1: think he's gonna question your motives, and then he's gonna think, well,
Speaker 1: I'm dating someone who's twenty three. Is she not ready
Speaker 1: to be in a committed relationship. I think it's just
Speaker 1: gonna have a lot of questions in his head that
Speaker 1: I don't think will be conducive for a healthy relationship.
Speaker 1: So I don't know. I'm nervous if you're nervous. For
Speaker 1: if he thought it was temporary, he would have found
Speaker 1: a new place to live instead of moving them with her.
Speaker 1: So I do. I do agree, I think and exactly
Speaker 1: what Kendall said, you can take a step forward, but
Speaker 1: you can't take a step backwards. I disagree with you, Jared.
Speaker 1: I think that if they continue living together, the relationship
Speaker 1: is doomed because she obviously does not want to live
Speaker 1: with somebody, not with him. She doesn't want to live
Speaker 1: with anybody right now, and that's fine. And if she
Speaker 1: continues to live with him, even if she like tells
Speaker 1: herself like oh this, this is okay, this is for
Speaker 1: the this is the right step to take, she's going
Speaker 1: to resent him for it, and there's gonna be like
Speaker 1: he's it's gonna start with little moments like it's gonna
Speaker 1: be like he left his socks out of the Hamburg
Speaker 1: and she's like, oh my god, I got this thirty
Speaker 1: year old loser living in my house. Like it's gonna
Speaker 1: it's just gonna build, and then it's gonna come to
Speaker 1: a breaking point and Uh, then he's gonna want to
Speaker 1: get married and she's not gonna want to do you know, Like,
Speaker 1: I just think that she needs to be honest about
Speaker 1: how she feels with this man. The time for the record,
Speaker 1: you leave yours out, She goes, I can't believe I'm
Speaker 1: living with this thirty year old man. Child who hasn't
Speaker 1: heard that? At least she throws in child in there.
Speaker 1: That's nice. I mean, deep down, I feel like, if
Speaker 1: you want to end it and you don't want to
Speaker 1: take it, you're not excited to keep moving and take
Speaker 1: a step forward, You're kind of that's for me usually
Speaker 1: it's the answer. Like my parents always told me. They've
Speaker 1: been together for two years now, and um, they just
Speaker 1: they said when they met each other, they were excited
Speaker 1: to take a step forward. They're excited to do that,
Speaker 1: you know, they don't even think about it. Um. Not
Speaker 1: to say that every relationship should be that way, but um,
Speaker 1: I think she's not in a place where she's excited
Speaker 1: to move forward with him, right. But I agree, I
Speaker 1: think you should take a principal stand and just say sorry,
Speaker 1: we're not living together. I don't want to do it.
Speaker 1: I'm not interested in it. I still want to date.
Speaker 1: Let's try it out. She doesn't want to, but I,
Speaker 1: like Kendbell said, sometimes the answer is in the question,
Speaker 1: and like, what do you have to lose? Obviously you don't.
Speaker 1: You're you like the guy enough to be dating it,
Speaker 1: but you don't love him to the point where you
Speaker 1: want to live with him. So propose the idea and
Speaker 1: if he doesn't like it, then bought a being bought
Speaker 1: a boom. You're back to be in your free self
Speaker 1: and you can find someone else that you're more excited
Speaker 1: to live with. So that's that's the advice. One more reason,
Speaker 1: What do you got for us? This is a juicy one,
Speaker 1: all right? This is from Emily. I found out that
Speaker 1: my fiance was searching for escorts on Google. We're in
Speaker 1: a long distance relationship, and I don't know what to
Speaker 1: do or how to bring this up. Escorts escorts, I mean,
Speaker 1: that's it, right, You can't look for escorts and move
Speaker 1: on from this. No, maybe he's doing research or something
Speaker 1: for like a thesis. It's long distance. It's so easy
Speaker 1: to just like disappear and to just not ever. There's
Speaker 1: just like where the heck of that person? I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's like at that point, I would kind of wait,
Speaker 1: I'm the kind of person where I would probably just
Speaker 1: disappear because it's a big disrespect and for me, I
Speaker 1: would kind of see that as like cheating. Um, it's
Speaker 1: definitely cheating. Am I missing are bringing with escort means no,
Speaker 1: it is cheating, like and he he he should know
Speaker 1: and if he wants to call and bring it up,
Speaker 1: he can, But I don't know. I disappear, disappear. I
Speaker 1: would just disappear in the I think what this person
Speaker 1: should do is just simply bring it up. I mean,
Speaker 1: granted he's probably she's probably gonna be with a lot
Speaker 1: of resistance because something brings something up like that, there's
Speaker 1: someone that's uncomfortable talking about it for obvious reasons. I
Speaker 1: think you're going to naturally just like backpedal and defend yourself. Um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I mean it sounds like the relationship is
Speaker 1: kind of on its way out because that's it's not
Speaker 1: a deal breaker for for everyone obviously, but um, it
Speaker 1: sounds like it might be for you. So I would say,
Speaker 1: bring it up and see what happens next. Well, I
Speaker 1: think you have to bring it up because there's obviously
Speaker 1: something wrong in the relationship right now and listen, Like
Speaker 1: you guys are doing long distance. You know, every human
Speaker 1: has their needs. If he was looking up porn, it's like, hey, whatever,
Speaker 1: But escorts, like, I don't know, that's a whole new level.
Speaker 1: What's the difference. Let's get to the bottom that is
Speaker 1: there is there a substantial difference between porn and high
Speaker 1: wearing an escort? I mean, you're having sex with an escort?
Speaker 1: Am I misinterpreting this? Do I not know what an
Speaker 1: escort is? Um? Well, I mean so I think it's
Speaker 1: usually an escort is like a date for company, but
Speaker 1: usually there is some sexual involvement. Oh so I was
Speaker 1: misinterpreting because I just assumed it was primary, Like I mean,
Speaker 1: I would say that it kind of is mainly that
Speaker 1: to some people. Um m hmm. Interesting changes the dynamic
Speaker 1: a little bit. I guess, maybe not right. I think
Speaker 1: porn the only reason why I don't think porn is
Speaker 1: an issue. Um but if it starts affecting your sexual
Speaker 1: relationship with your partner, and it starts taking away from
Speaker 1: your connection with your partner, then that's when it's an issue.
Speaker 1: They're both forms of entertainment, but is one going to
Speaker 1: like obviously when when it's actually another person you're risking
Speaker 1: like your safety with like your health, you know, getting
Speaker 1: something like these are strangers that this person is looking at. Um,
Speaker 1: but Corn, it's kind of I don't know, you're less
Speaker 1: connected to that for sure. I do think though to
Speaker 1: your point, Um, while an escort isn't it's not implied
Speaker 1: sexual work. I do think it's the precursor to some
Speaker 1: sort of sexual experience with someone. So um too, I
Speaker 1: think Jared, it's safe for you to assume what you're
Speaker 1: assuming because I do think it kind of leads into
Speaker 1: what it is you're assuming. So yeah, I think I
Speaker 1: think the bottom line is have the conversation with him
Speaker 1: bringing up uh, don't like corner him, because I do
Speaker 1: think how you bring it up is really important, you know,
Speaker 1: like don't just like throw it all at him at
Speaker 1: the same time and accuse him of all these things.
Speaker 1: Maybe like asking questions lead him to answer, like give
Speaker 1: him the opportunity to like answer it without you pressuring
Speaker 1: him or like cornering him all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: So um, that's my advice at least. But yeah, it
Speaker 1: sounds like it's not going to be too good for
Speaker 1: you guys moving forward, that's just what would be so
Speaker 1: bad approaching the scenario. I'd be like, hey, you can
Speaker 1: escorts home? What a what a job? What do you
Speaker 1: think about that? Yeah? You just bring it up nonchalantly,
Speaker 1: like not involving them whatever that you put on pretty
Speaker 1: woman just to be like you guys, you ever see
Speaker 1: this movie before or it's a great premise, huh, but
Speaker 1: once you look trust I wonder how she found out,
Speaker 1: because like, was she on his computer searching for s
Speaker 1: cargo and then auto field But to be the devil's
Speaker 1: advocate here, she said she caught that he was looking
Speaker 1: for them. For all we know, he's never booked one.
Speaker 1: I know this is a day Like I think she
Speaker 1: should have a conversation because like that's definitely like you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I just searching for them and
Speaker 1: with no intention of ever doing it. But but some
Speaker 1: people might maybe that's just like something he gets off on,
Speaker 1: like oh, like I could do this, but I won't listen.
Speaker 1: You don't call Audrey's asking for a b LT unless
Speaker 1: you want to be I mean no to Easton's point,
Speaker 1: I remember once when I was in high school, one
Speaker 1: of the kids that was on our football team came
Speaker 1: back with these like, uh, these these stripper cards from
Speaker 1: Las Vegas. We called. We called every number on the
Speaker 1: stripper cards. None of us had ever the intent to
Speaker 1: follow through with anything. We were just calling for fun.
Speaker 1: It could be curiosity. I can see that. His friends like, oh,
Speaker 1: did you know that you can find you know these
Speaker 1: people this way? And maybe he's like, oh, I maybe,
Speaker 1: And then they looked together like I can see that.
Speaker 1: So it's a very bad it's a very bad sign.
Speaker 1: So like that conversation needs to be had, too true.
Speaker 1: But also we don't know the age of Emily, because
Speaker 1: what if this kid is like eighteen. It was like
Speaker 1: just messing around. That's a good Curiosity is a hell
Speaker 1: of a thing. But I think bottom line, have the
Speaker 1: conversation and get the bottom of it. That's really what
Speaker 1: you need to do. But yeah, maybe he's just looking
Speaker 1: for a great escargo recipe or something like that. Maybe
Speaker 1: he's not a stale and he wants to learn how
Speaker 1: to correct gets the best of us. All Right, Well
Speaker 1: that's gonna do it for this week's episode of Help
Speaker 1: I Suck at Dating? Thank you everyone for listening. Kendall,
Speaker 1: thank you for jumping in and co hosting with us
Speaker 1: this week. You are and always will be one of
Speaker 1: our favorite, if not our favorite co hosts, So big
Speaker 1: thank you to you. Can you just give us like
Speaker 1: a like like where where where is kinda going to
Speaker 1: be going for the next you know, year, a couple
Speaker 1: of years? Where what can we look to expect from you?
Speaker 1: I'm really focus sing on like this science like informative,
Speaker 1: being someone who takes larger scientific concepts and making them
Speaker 1: more digestible to people. Like I'm working with a company
Speaker 1: called Colossal right now. It's a genetics company that's rebirthing
Speaker 1: the wooly mammoth and doing a bunch of other GenEx
Speaker 1: product projects. So I'm kind of and I do like
Speaker 1: TikTok science stuff, So that's kind of where I'm going.
Speaker 1: It's they're rebirthing the wooly mammoth. Yeah, it's actually an
Speaker 1: Asian elephant wooly mammoth hybrid. I could get all into
Speaker 1: all that, but yeah, it's very fascinating, very cool. Just
Speaker 1: make sure they don't try to rebirth any dinosaurs because
Speaker 1: I've seen Jurassic Park and it's impossible. It's kind of
Speaker 1: impossible to rebirth the dinosaur that we know now because
Speaker 1: all of the remains are fossilized, so it's like rock.
Speaker 1: There's no DNA in it. It's even hard to like
Speaker 1: rebirth the wooly mammoth because we have like mummified mammoths,
Speaker 1: but their DNA is kind of like confetti that's been
Speaker 1: ripped up and then trampled on in the rain, and
Speaker 1: you just try to put it back together. There's mummified
Speaker 1: wooly mammoths m in permafrost in the Arctic tundra. It's
Speaker 1: in permafrost. Jared, come on, read a book. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: like a big freezer that's underground, underground. Yeah. Well, we
Speaker 1: look forward to seeing all of that. We look forward
Speaker 1: to seeing more of your scientific TikTok's um. Thank you
Speaker 1: for joining us. Thank you to the listeners. Thank you
Speaker 1: to the emailers Anonymous and Emily. Thank you to Easton
Speaker 1: and Hannah. That's gonna do for this week's episode of
Speaker 1: Help I Suck At Dating. Be sure to tune in
Speaker 1: next week, where maybe we suck just a little bit less.
Speaker 1: Follow Help by Suck At Dating on I Heart Radio
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to podcast