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Speaker 1: Twenty twenty five was a lot.

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Speaker 2: My goodness, talk about a roller coaster of a year,

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Speaker 2: starting out on a high and just all the way down,

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Speaker 2: but still we're standing. Thank God for that.

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Speaker 1: A man.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 1: It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight

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Speaker 1: from the heart. Since then we've gone on to become

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Speaker 1: Webby award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors.

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Speaker 2: Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It

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Speaker 2: was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable, be.

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Speaker 1: Wraw orse, but most apportly be us.

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Speaker 2: But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we,

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Speaker 2: and through it all, one thing has never changed.

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Speaker 1: This a seth after Dead Ass.

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Speaker 4: Because we got a lot to talk about story time.

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Speaker 1: So to start off the new year, I figured, I

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Speaker 1: want to take y'all back to my favorite moment of

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty five. Okay, is now twenty twenty.

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Speaker 4: Six, and I love a low recap.

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Speaker 1: We did have a lot of really really good moments

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Speaker 1: we did last year, but there's one moment in particular

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Speaker 1: that like really sticks with me, and it was in June,

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Speaker 1: and it was at the BT Awards when I had

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Speaker 1: the opportunity to watch you go on your press run

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Speaker 1: for the four assistance. It was my favorite moment of

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Speaker 1: the year last year because you and I have talked

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Speaker 1: about dreams. Trouble man.

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Speaker 2: I thought, I do not let your.

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Speaker 1: Mind, do not let your mind Triple, But how she

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Speaker 1: catched the U and I t watch so fast. But

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Speaker 1: we were trying to get you to understand pause for

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Speaker 1: like four years. You know what I'm saying, twenty six

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Speaker 1: Triple gotta understand pause because you one of us.

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Speaker 4: Got it now she caught on last time.

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Speaker 1: I feel like she had a great She.

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Speaker 5: Had a great pause moment once, even her poor she

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Speaker 5: was just like wait, pause, yes, but no, let me

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Speaker 5: get back to focus because you got me distracted.

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Speaker 1: But I got a chance to watch you do what

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Speaker 1: we talked about we wanted to do when we were

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Speaker 1: eighteen years old, sat on that bed, told you my

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Speaker 1: dreams before and four and full, and we were able

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Speaker 1: to watch me fulfill everything I wanted to do, and

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Speaker 1: while fighting and fighting for all of my dreams, we

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Speaker 1: were simultaneously fighting for yours. And last year June twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty five, right before Divorced, Sisters was getting ready to

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Speaker 1: stream and actually break the record for the most subscriptions

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Speaker 1: in that month because it was a number one show.

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Speaker 1: I watched you walk in everything that you wanted to do.

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Speaker 1: I seen the pageant girl, I seen the actress, I

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Speaker 1: seen the dancer, I seen the comedian, I seen the

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Speaker 1: TV host. I watched you that weekend at the BT Awards,

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Speaker 1: and it was like amazing. And I also got a

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Speaker 1: chance to just be a fan.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, so you were chilling that week instead of

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Speaker 2: really while I was working. It was definitely like the

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Speaker 2: ultimate roll river so because typically I'm there just hanging

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Speaker 2: you know, whatever you need babe, almost like your handler,

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Speaker 2: making sure things are good in a way. And then

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Speaker 2: it was completely flipped. It was and it was an

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Speaker 2: amazing time. That was a great, great highlight for twenty

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Speaker 2: twenty five.

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Speaker 4: You know what mine was?

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Speaker 2: I know we didn't really give story time. You normally

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Speaker 2: do what I feel.

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Speaker 6: I want to tell.

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Speaker 2: Mine, it was actually the month of July. The month

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Speaker 2: of July was a really great highlight for me because

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Speaker 2: that was the month that we kicked off our fifteenth

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Speaker 2: year wedding anniversary. But we were with the boys in Jacksonville,

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Speaker 2: Florida for their track meet, and then after that picked

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Speaker 2: them up from Florida after your family's reunion.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and then we were just home, just.

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Speaker 1: The six of us, yeah, the first time for.

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Speaker 2: Like the first time in a minute, Like mom and

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Speaker 2: Dad were in New York for about a month, and

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Speaker 2: we just had the best time just the six of

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Speaker 2: us between Florida and just being home.

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Speaker 4: And it just felt so good the six years stationary.

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Speaker 1: That the six of us have all been in this

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Speaker 1: house with no one else the first time. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think of it often, like, especially as

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Speaker 2: twenty twenty five was on its way out, we needed

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Speaker 2: family to rally around everything that was happening, so that

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Speaker 2: was important.

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Speaker 7: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: But our house is like there's always somebody in it.

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Speaker 1: What you call it almshouse, arms house.

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Speaker 2: Yeahs a Jamaica term, but yeah, I just there's always

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Speaker 2: somebody in it.

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Speaker 4: And you know me, I'm more of the introvert.

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Speaker 2: I just rather there be nobody in my house at

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Speaker 2: any given time except for me, my husband, and my kids.

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Speaker 2: So that was that was just the highlight for me,

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Speaker 2: like just the six of us, no traffic in and

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Speaker 2: out this house, and that was the best time.

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Speaker 4: Karaoke.

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Speaker 1: Karaoke now all right, So just to start the year off,

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Speaker 1: we've talked about this. Let's let's be honest with the.

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Speaker 4: People with carry ok right, yeah, yeah, tell them.

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Speaker 1: Everybody who does karaoke have their favorite karaoke songs. And

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Speaker 1: if I'm being honest, this is about episode two hundred

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Speaker 1: and sixty something trouble. What episode is this to fifty nine?

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Speaker 1: Two hundred and fifty fifty nine. And what we try

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Speaker 1: to do is try to hit you out with an

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Speaker 1: original song every single time. But I'm gonna be honest,

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Speaker 1: I don't have two hundred and fifty nine favorite songs

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Speaker 1: that I love like that, dude, and they y'all think

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Speaker 1: y'all have that many favorite songs.

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Speaker 4: I do.

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Speaker 1: You got two hundred and fifty nine favorite that you

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Speaker 1: know the words?

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Speaker 2: Not that I know the words too, but like there's

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Speaker 2: two hundred and fifty nine songs that I like easily

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Speaker 2: between Soca Dancehall.

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Speaker 1: You know technically yeah you had it Soca.

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Speaker 4: And Yeah get It R and b Rap.

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Speaker 1: You know, they just know I get it.

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Speaker 2: But we try to typically do a karaoke song that's

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Speaker 2: like pertinent to the topic. So that's something that of course,

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Speaker 2: like you know, dwindles down the numbers of songs that

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Speaker 2: we can use.

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Speaker 4: I mean, this year, I'm gonna start doing songs that

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Speaker 4: I like.

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Speaker 2: Like you don't have to do it, don't have anything

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Speaker 2: to do with the topic, but like that might let's

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Speaker 2: do that. We'll just like, we'll take we'll rotate somebody's

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Speaker 2: favorite song each time.

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Speaker 1: I like that.

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Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: But for this one, we figured it's the top of

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Speaker 2: the year and we want to give.

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Speaker 4: Y'all a little you know, up at the high energy.

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Speaker 2: We still don't really know all the words, but we

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Speaker 2: can all chime in together.

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Speaker 4: It'll be group care.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing the beat because I don't know the words,

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Speaker 1: so I'll do the acoustics. I was about to say something,

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Speaker 1: but I pause it because in my mind it sounded crazy.

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Speaker 1: Sounded crazy to yourself.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, give it to yourself, all right. Ready, when I wake.

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Speaker 1: Up in the sun, Oh, I had Josh in there.

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Speaker 4: There's heavy on my mind, and I do what.

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Speaker 8: Then I look at you, alright, you don't know to

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Speaker 8: beat either, Just want to look at you, and I

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Speaker 8: know it's gonna.

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Speaker 9: Be I love love love me, let me.

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Speaker 6: Love I love it on.

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Speaker 10: I heard you breathe and I realized it what about.

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Speaker 1: I was like, because you over here, choir directed to

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Speaker 1: this guy, try to keep it together because so we sent.

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Speaker 4: The harmony was off the side. You know, it's the

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Speaker 4: first song. It's first time we want, we want exactly.

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Speaker 2: All right, y'all, we're gonna pay some bills and we're

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Speaker 2: gonna be back today. We're doing a twenty twenty five

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Speaker 2: recap and talking about what things are going to look

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Speaker 2: like for us in this new year's so be right back,

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Speaker 2: all right. So yeah, twenty twenty five, Man, I'm a

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Speaker 2: highlight for me.

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Speaker 4: Another one is getting that text message from TP.

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Speaker 1: Wait, that was a highlight for you.

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Speaker 4: Top of the year, baby, January.

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Speaker 1: Sixth has a different meaning for us.

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Speaker 4: Now, never forget it, you know what I'm saying?

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Speaker 6: For sure?

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Speaker 4: For sure? All right, Trey, what you got for op

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Speaker 4: or no op? Today?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Baby.

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Speaker 11: So, since we're talking about goals twenty twenty five recap

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Speaker 11: and our goals for the coming year, I know a

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Speaker 11: lot of people's goal might be to buy a home.

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Speaker 11: And that got me to thinking about this fifty year

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Speaker 11: mortgage proposal that the Trump administration made.

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Speaker 1: A fifty year you have heard of the years you

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Speaker 1: have not.

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Speaker 2: Heard President Okay, so Ariam posts something quickly about it

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Speaker 2: in her stories, but I didn't get the details, so

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Speaker 2: give us the deets, trips.

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Speaker 11: Yeah, so, the idea is that it will lower monthly

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Speaker 11: payments for home buyers, which at first glance like, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 11: but what people aren't thinking about is that because it's

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Speaker 11: fifty years, you're paying significantly more interest. Somebody said, if

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Speaker 11: you have five hundred thousand dollars home, you're gonna end

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Speaker 11: up paying one point five million dollars.

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Speaker 1: That simple math. Bro.

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Speaker 11: Not only that, you're not gonna have equity, no white,

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Speaker 11: sometimes you.

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Speaker 4: Might as well rent. Yeah, you might rent.

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Speaker 11: I'm so what somebody said is that, like banks are

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Speaker 11: going to essentially turn homeowners into renters without having to

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Speaker 11: do all of the maintenance, or rather private equity companies

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Speaker 11: who really own these properties.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what they're going to do.

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Speaker 11: And so they're going to turn homeowners into renters, but

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Speaker 11: also passing off that upkeep of the home on to.

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Speaker 1: The rent as they should.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, what passes the upkeep on? Oh yeah, I'm no, yes,

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Speaker 2: oh no, absolutely no. Opp is that hell no? I

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Speaker 2: would never never sign.

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Speaker 10: Up No no, no, no, like.

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Speaker 4: Who would sign up for a fifty year mortgage. That's insanity.

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Speaker 1: So here's how people get caught up with it. Right,

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Speaker 1: five hundred thousand dollar house, you gotta put one hundred

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Speaker 1: thousand down. It's four hundred thousand. You got a mortgage.

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Speaker 1: Your mortgage payment now will probably be about twenty five

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Speaker 1: hundred dollars. So what they're saying people is, like what

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Speaker 1: you would normally pay twenty five hundred dollars for now,

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Speaker 1: you only pay fifteen hundred dollars. And then people say, yo,

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Speaker 1: I'd rather have one thousand dollars less, thousand dollars more

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Speaker 1: in my pocket. That's twelve thousand dollars more every year.

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Speaker 1: That's a good investment. What they don't realize is that

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Speaker 1: interest rates are probably going to continue the skyrocket, and

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Speaker 1: you're going to end up paying for that house for

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Speaker 1: a longer period of time. But the most important thing,

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Speaker 1: like Triple said, is you have no equity. And when

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Speaker 1: you have no equity in a home, you have no asset.

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Speaker 1: And when you have no asset, you can't use that

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Speaker 1: home to then fund other businesses exactly. And that's what

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Speaker 1: they don't want. They don't want us to own homes

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Speaker 1: or land because now you don't have an asset that

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Speaker 1: you can utilize for our things. So they want to

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Speaker 1: keep you in that cycle of working. If you have

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Speaker 1: a mortgage that you have to pay for fifty years,

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Speaker 1: you buy a home when you're thirty, that means until

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Speaker 1: you're eighty, you're going to be working to pay off

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Speaker 1: this mortgage.

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Speaker 10: Average lifespan of Americans is seventy three. You're not getting

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Speaker 10: that home.

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Speaker 1: And that's but's the thing that's the plan, because everything

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Speaker 1: else always it keeps us on the hamster wheel. This

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Speaker 1: is why my other op is, and this is what

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Speaker 1: I propose to people, especially young people. If you're in

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Speaker 1: your twenties and you're not married yet, and you have

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Speaker 1: a group of friends and there's four or five of you,

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Speaker 1: I propose this. If it's four or five of you

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Speaker 1: in your twenties and you're all working, save your money

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Speaker 1: for two years, all put down on a house, put

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Speaker 1: a huge down payment on that house, or you don't

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Speaker 1: have those fifty year mortgages, and you all move in

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Speaker 1: there and live together. Rather than you living in an

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Speaker 1: apartment building and paying rent. You all pay what's considered

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Speaker 1: rent for your room, but you're paying into an investment

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Speaker 1: that you own. Now the four of you have that house.

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Speaker 1: Now that you have the house, you also have the

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Speaker 1: capital and the equity because if y'all four want to

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Speaker 1: start a business, you can borrow against the house to

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Speaker 1: start a business. But also you're saving because you're not

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Speaker 1: paying a high monthly mortgage payment that would.

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Speaker 2: Be my I actually know somebody who's doing this, but

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Speaker 2: they it's not that her and these women who live

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Speaker 2: with her purchase the house. Someone purchased the house five bedrooms,

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Speaker 2: and she's like, I'm considering moving out of my apartment

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Speaker 2: into a house. So the first thing I thought of

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Speaker 2: is like, girl, you're trying to live in a house,

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Speaker 2: an actual househouse with five other women that are strangers.

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Speaker 2: She said, well, yeah, these people have these room for

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Speaker 2: rooms for rent, so I have to go through the

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Speaker 2: whole process in order to be selected. So she ended

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Speaker 2: up getting a room and she's renting one room for

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Speaker 2: five hundred dollars a month.

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Speaker 6: Wow.

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Speaker 2: There are some other young ladies who live they're all

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Speaker 2: like minded work. You know, she has her own business,

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Speaker 2: so she's often out and she's like, I realized I

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Speaker 2: don't spend any time in my apartment. I'm literally just

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Speaker 2: showering for the next day and then I'm you know,

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Speaker 2: I'm working all day. So she said, we all kind

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Speaker 2: of have similar stories. Ones in nursing school, ones doing this, that,

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Speaker 2: and the third. So they all pay five hundred dollars

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Speaker 2: a month in rent, they share the common spaces, you know,

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Speaker 2: of course, mutual respect. It kind of reminds me of

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Speaker 2: like dorms back in the day in college and stuff

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Speaker 2: like that. But I'm like, I didn't even think about,

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Speaker 2: you know, adults, grown adults doing this.

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Speaker 4: So that's awesome if you had a group of friends

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Speaker 4: that can do something similar.

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Speaker 1: Well, we have to start thinking like the companies. The

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Speaker 1: companies are getting smart. All of these major companies that

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Speaker 1: Tribble was talking about, they're buying up properties or building subdivisions, right,

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Speaker 1: and then what they're doing is after they're building them,

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Speaker 1: they have another company under a different name that buys

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Speaker 1: the homes, which sets the sale price. So now if

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Speaker 1: you build these homes for say three hundred thousand dollars,

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Speaker 1: you're a big company. You build these homes for three

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Speaker 1: hundred thousands, you now open up a shell company you

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Speaker 1: buy those homes that you that you built for three

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Speaker 1: hundred for nine hundred thousand, And what it does is

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Speaker 1: it sets the price in the area that these houses

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Speaker 1: are worth nine hundred thousand dollars. You then take the

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Speaker 1: equity that you got from that house that you built

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Speaker 1: and you put it in your bank account. But then

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Speaker 1: you start renting to people who can forward to live

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Speaker 1: in those areas. So now you're making money again on

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Speaker 1: top of the money that you already got after building

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Speaker 1: these homes. A lot more companies are putting together subdivisions

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Speaker 1: like this, or buying out all of the homes in

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Speaker 1: the subdivision so that they can create renters out of homeowners,

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Speaker 1: like Triple that's talking about. So we should use group

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Speaker 1: economics to work together. And it's easier to use group

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Speaker 1: economics when you're in your twenties and your single. We

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Speaker 1: did it a little bit with my brother when we

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Speaker 1: were married and my brother had his first child, and

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Speaker 1: it's difficult for families. Yeah, but we did it with

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Speaker 1: Belaa as well. But yeah, all you twenty year old

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Speaker 1: twenty somethings use group economics man get together and buy

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Speaker 1: properties early.

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Speaker 2: It's part of the sacrifice that can in turn not

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Speaker 2: be that much of a sacrifice. You can use it

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Speaker 2: as an asset to borrow against or y'all sell and

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Speaker 2: then split the split the proceeds.

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Speaker 10: Yeah, who where people you trust?

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Speaker 2: That's a fact that her homegirl was like living with

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Speaker 2: four other grown ass women.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, what does that look like?

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Speaker 2: All I can think of, like, you know, worst case

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Speaker 2: scenario personality clashing or somebody having a guest over not

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Speaker 2: cleaning the kitchen and whatnot. But she said, no, everybody

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Speaker 2: gets along well does what they gotta do, So that

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Speaker 2: was a good scenario for her.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest, if I was a single woman

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Speaker 1: living in this time, knowing how so many women are

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Speaker 1: end up being lost or get taken, I would feel

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Speaker 1: comfortable living with a group of women who went through

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Speaker 1: a process to know that we all live in this

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Speaker 1: house and we have a shared space. I think that's smart.

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Speaker 1: I think it would be even smarter if groups of

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Speaker 1: women did that and start buying properties as opposed to

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Speaker 1: just renting from someone who's already bought the property. That's

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Speaker 1: just a way to build an asset. And for people

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Speaker 1: who want to know how easy it is start an LLC.

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Speaker 1: All of your friends have y'all put the money in

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Speaker 1: you have the LLC, y'all make yourselves equal partners in

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Speaker 1: the LLC, and you all put down the same amount

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Speaker 1: for the deposit, and y'all all have equal ownership. And

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Speaker 1: then when you sell a property, it sold to the LLC,

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Speaker 1: and then the process go to the LLC and you

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Speaker 1: split it evenly. Because people ask like, how do you

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Speaker 1: do that? How do you buy a house with a

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Speaker 1: group of four people? Do an LLC and you buy

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Speaker 1: it through the LLC and you have one entity purchased

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Speaker 1: the home to.

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Speaker 4: That there you go smart. I love it.

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Speaker 11: I think it's a good idea as well, because one

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Speaker 11: of my biggest fears as a single person living alone

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Speaker 11: is that I'm going to choke in there?

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Speaker 6: Oh my god, can you imagine?

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Speaker 1: I never thought about that because I'm never by myself. Imagine.

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Speaker 4: I didn't even think about choking.

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Speaker 2: For me. It was just like how the girls zip

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Speaker 2: themselves into dresses like that would be my thing.

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Speaker 6: I haven't had.

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Speaker 1: Worried about death, You worried about fashion.

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Speaker 12: I can't wait now because myself upright?

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Speaker 4: Who does?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: I didn't even think on a chair with the chair?

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Speaker 1: I do you good?

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Speaker 10: I don't. You don't know either.

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Speaker 6: You just slam yourself against the table pretty.

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Speaker 1: Much your solar plexus. That's that's where the air comes from.

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Speaker 10: I was thinking that just drop.

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Speaker 1: Most people do that and it's just the air comes

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Speaker 1: out from.

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Speaker 11: Yeah, there is a group of white women men who

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Speaker 11: have like a plot of land that they bought and

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Speaker 11: they lived together there, which I thought, I think that's

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Speaker 11: pretty cool communal living.

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Speaker 6: We got to get back to that. But back to

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Speaker 6: the financial talk.

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Speaker 11: I saw a video on I think it's called Diary

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Speaker 11: of a CEO that podcast, and this woman was saying,

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Speaker 11: if you don't have a million dollars, you shouldn't even

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Speaker 11: think about passive income. You should focus on making your

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Speaker 11: first million dollars before you invest any money.

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Speaker 2: Or Noah, your business mastermind, what are you say?

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Speaker 10: No, I'm too broke. We all gonna listen to.

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Speaker 11: Got I got about twenty two to fifty toward my

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Speaker 11: first million, twenty two dollars and fifty cent.

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Speaker 1: Right there. Trouble But no, it's only because because of

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Speaker 1: that is part of the reason why I would say No,

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Speaker 1: most people in their lifetime would never accrue a million dollars,

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Speaker 1: so automatically you're eliminating like ninety percent of the population

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Speaker 1: and telling them you can't be an entrepreneur. I will

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Speaker 1: never in my life do that because I didn't make

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Speaker 1: a million dollars when I started my businesses. The biggest

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Speaker 1: thing you need when you start a business is capital, right,

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Speaker 1: but most of the time you don't want to use

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Speaker 1: your own capital anyway. Also, if you are working and

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Speaker 1: starting a business, you should also still continue to work.

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Speaker 1: So I would never just start a business and quit

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Speaker 1: my job. I would always have my job and do

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Speaker 1: the business. And I probably wouldn't quit my job until

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Speaker 1: I was probably seven figures in the red, I mean

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Speaker 1: in the green, you know, in the black. That's like,

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Speaker 1: I can't imagine myself saying, oh, I'm an entrepreneur. I

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Speaker 1: just made a million dollars. Is just quitting my job.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't imagine that if I was making that type

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Speaker 1: of money, because, as you all know, if a business

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Speaker 1: is businesses need solvency, and there's ebbs and flows. You

401
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Speaker 1: can make a lot of money in six months, and

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Speaker 1: then you hit a span where there's no money. And

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Speaker 1: now even if you tried to scale a business slowly,

404
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Speaker 1: when you don't have money and money runs out, now

405
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Speaker 1: your business is suffering and a lot of businesses fold

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Speaker 1: because they don't have capital. I wouldn't say work to

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Speaker 1: make the million dollars. I would say, try to raise

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Speaker 1: the funds. You raise the funds by creating pitches. You

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00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:13,640
Speaker 1: have ideas ideas, take less time to show people than

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Speaker 1: it does to actually do the idea itself. That's gonna

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Speaker 1: take you years to do. For all entrepreneurs, man find

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Speaker 1: some like minded people and raise funds. And when I

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Speaker 1: say raise funds, I don't mean ask them for money.

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Speaker 1: I mean create an investment plan where you plan on

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Speaker 1: paying back the investors in time. Focus the time when

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Speaker 1: you're not working on building your strategy for your business

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Speaker 1: rather than just throwing shit against the wall. But I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't put a number on a million dollars. Is the

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Speaker 1: only way you start like, we've made a crap ton

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Speaker 1: of money. When I only had thirty thousand dollars in

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Speaker 1: the bank, we were able to survive when I had

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Speaker 1: twenty two to fifty in the bank. You know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, Just manipulating funds right, doing stuff that's not

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Speaker 1: always the best, like using an American Express card or

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 4: But if I would waitload ourselves.

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Speaker 1: Some times you have to float just so. But if

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Speaker 1: I would have waited till I had a million dollars,

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Speaker 1: I'd still be waiting. So I just don't agree with that.

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Speaker 11: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree with Matt. I'm too broke

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Speaker 11: on a gam I don't do.

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Speaker 1: You know how hard it is to just make a

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Speaker 1: million dollars and save a million dollars like that is

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Speaker 1: extremely difficult. Think about it. If even if you make

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Speaker 1: a million dollars in a year, say you live in

436
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Speaker 1: a place like New York, they're taxing you forty eight percent,

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Speaker 1: So now you've only made five hundred and twenty thousand

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Speaker 1: and you have living expenses.

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Speaker 4: So I don't see it.

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Speaker 1: And this is important for people to understand. I learned

441
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Speaker 1: my first year in the NFL. I made two hundred

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Speaker 1: and seventy five thousand dollars, and I thought that I

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Speaker 1: was going to be able to save it. Remember, I

444
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:41,320
Speaker 1: made it in four months, and by the time February came,

445
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,720
Speaker 1: after living and trying, you know, after living from September

446
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:48,119
Speaker 1: through December and playing ball, February came, I only had

447
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,520
Speaker 1: seventy eight thousand dollars left and I was like I

448
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:55,720
Speaker 1: got to live from February all the way till September

449
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:58,600
Speaker 1: on seventy eight, when I just made two seventy five

450
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,800
Speaker 1: and four months, which shows you how much expenses and

451
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:01,320
Speaker 1: taxes are.

452
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,879
Speaker 4: So mean you weren't even privileged and you were like

453
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:05,560
Speaker 4: bare minimum.

454
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,520
Speaker 1: You know me, don't I don't spend a bad time.

455
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,640
Speaker 1: It would have taken me, even making two seventy five

456
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 1: and being frivolous, it would have taken me fifteen years

457
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,679
Speaker 1: if I never went on a vacation nothing to just

458
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,360
Speaker 1: save a million dollars. Nobody got that type of time.

459
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,000
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, and that's making two seventy five.

460
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,399
Speaker 1: Most people don't make two seventy five. So what are

461
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 1: we telling people Exactly? You make seventy thousand dollars ill

462
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,560
Speaker 1: you save money for forty years and they have a

463
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,880
Speaker 1: fifty year mortgage, and then you start a business. There's

464
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 1: no way in life. But that's why Americans feel like

465
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:42,680
Speaker 1: the American dream has gone, because how do you tell

466
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:45,040
Speaker 1: people to start businesses in America If you're telling us

467
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:46,920
Speaker 1: we need a million dollars, but then you're also telling

468
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,479
Speaker 1: us that it takes thirty years to make a million dollars,

469
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,560
Speaker 1: so I start this dream when I'm twenty, and then

470
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:55,160
Speaker 1: when I'm fifty I can actually start. Nah. I think

471
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:59,359
Speaker 1: the struggle in America has to be the redistribution of wealth. Right,

472
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,399
Speaker 1: I probably end up to watch this for saying this,

473
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,879
Speaker 1: But the fact that one percent of the population controls

474
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:09,159
Speaker 1: ninety nine percent of the world's wealth is a problem.

475
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:12,240
Speaker 1: Like we all as people can't survive if that continues

476
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,639
Speaker 1: to be the trend. And the truth is, it shouldn't

477
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,960
Speaker 1: be up to the working class people or poor people

478
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,200
Speaker 1: to figure the motherfucker out, you know what I'm saying.

479
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,560
Speaker 1: I mean, there has to be a point where you

480
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:25,280
Speaker 1: realize living in abundance and opulence is not helping yourself neither,

481
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 1: because if there's nothing left because you've taken everything, what

482
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,720
Speaker 1: have we really done? You know what I'm saying, Like

483
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,399
Speaker 1: around you, I'm sorry that kind of just bothered me

484
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,159
Speaker 1: hearing that, because it's just so condescending to say to

485
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:39,440
Speaker 1: someone don't start till you get a million dollars. Like everybody,

486
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:42,000
Speaker 1: not Donald Trump, who's dad can give him a million

487
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,080
Speaker 1: dollar loan. You know what I'm saying, Some of us

488
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:48,919
Speaker 1: actually have to fucking work it does take chances. People

489
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 1: have plans, believe in yourself work. I love group economics.

490
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:54,720
Speaker 1: If you want to be an entrepreneur, don't do it

491
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,320
Speaker 1: by yourself, do it five to ten other people that

492
00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:58,400
Speaker 1: you can invest in each other.

493
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,640
Speaker 6: People in the room right now, I have a business.

494
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 10: So that business cannot be doing well. If you counted

495
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:06,880
Speaker 10: four people in.

496
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:17,840
Speaker 1: This room including me, okay, let me technically four people.

497
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 4: Excluding there's definitely five of us.

498
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 1: What business? I mean?

499
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,560
Speaker 4: If you count the good Lord, he's everywhere.

500
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,160
Speaker 2: So what did y'all do well in twenty twenty five?

501
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 2: Anybody gave our highlights? Anybody do anything spestacular?

502
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 11: So I started my llcler, but I have had to change

503
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:51,840
Speaker 11: it to LLC when I moved to Georgia and my

504
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 11: business made more money than I ever expected this year.

505
00:23:56,280 --> 00:24:00,240
Speaker 4: Now because you started one question, is.

506
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,680
Speaker 1: It still an LLC or is an LLC registered as

507
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:06,720
Speaker 1: an escorts an LLC? So you have to and listen

508
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 1: to this. Change it to an escort because you get

509
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 1: better tax breaks. LLCs don't get tax breaks. LLCs just

510
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,439
Speaker 1: protect you from getting sued, but that escorp will give

511
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:16,399
Speaker 1: you better tax exemption.

512
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 6: Yeah, it was. It was a good year.

513
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:19,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

514
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 6: Now, do I have any money for taxes? No, I don't,

515
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 6: but we made it. You know what I'm saying.

516
00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,399
Speaker 4: We made it in front of the other.

517
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 10: Yeah, you're not supposed to have money for taxes.

518
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,920
Speaker 6: Twenty six. My goal is tax evasion.

519
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: Sound like a Republican to me, but no. I like

520
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,480
Speaker 1: the fact that you started. Hope. You know that most

521
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,680
Speaker 1: businesses don't end up in the black for the first

522
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:48,439
Speaker 1: three years. So don't shame yourself. Find out what you

523
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,399
Speaker 1: did right, find out what you did wrong. Whatever you

524
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,680
Speaker 1: did right, repeat that, try to scale it a little

525
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 1: bit larger, find out what you did wrong. Avoid all

526
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,439
Speaker 1: of that. But the biggest thing is you started, and

527
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 1: you have something. You know you have something on Friday

528
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 1: trips because I'd be in trouble. Yes, And I'm glad

529
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 1: only I told you I didn't I say it. I

530
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 1: said it twenty twenty six. If Triple don't start that

531
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:13,480
Speaker 1: fucking business, Triple gonna get fired. Yes, and looks come.

532
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 4: On made haste, Yes it should make Yes.

533
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 1: I love that.

534
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:22,600
Speaker 2: And then now this is sixty. You know what I'm

535
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 2: looking forward to from you? What your t shirt line?

536
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 9: Oh?

537
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:27,920
Speaker 6: Yes, I just pulled it up last night.

538
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 11: Because Josh and Matt both had a little benefit for Jamaica,

539
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:34,399
Speaker 11: and I was like, this is the time for me

540
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,280
Speaker 11: to make the Jamaica shirt that says if I wasn't Jamaican,

541
00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:38,680
Speaker 11: why would I wear this shirt?

542
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 6: Period?

543
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 1: Like it's so simple, Yet it going and people gonna

544
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 1: buy the hell out of it. Get it going Jamaican.

545
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 1: That's so clever because people go, you don't get a

546
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 1: lot of this. Let me guess they don't think it's

547
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 1: so funny.

548
00:25:58,119 --> 00:25:58,760
Speaker 4: They love it.

549
00:25:58,920 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 6: They love it.

550
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,640
Speaker 2: This happens when I to Brooklyn. Be everywhere, Brooklyn really

551
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:05,639
Speaker 2: be everywhere? Yeah, yeah clever?

552
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 4: What about you? Josh?

553
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 2: Twenty twenty five and you highlight any win? What are

554
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,920
Speaker 2: we celebrating as we move into the new year?

555
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:18,680
Speaker 13: Is that nothing I'm trying to like?

556
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:21,120
Speaker 14: Five?

557
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:23,720
Speaker 1: I don't know.

558
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 13: Twenty twenty five was pretty even killed. I mean I

559
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 13: did make some leaps and bounds in trying to like

560
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 13: secure my future. I think I think that's a lot

561
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 13: of things that I put off, retirement funds, all that

562
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 13: stuff for the past couple of years. Not that I

563
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:43,520
Speaker 13: didn't haven't had full on k's and all that, but

564
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 13: I sort of made like progressive intentional steps and getting

565
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:54,200
Speaker 13: that secured. That's one which was great.

566
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:55,200
Speaker 7: What else.

567
00:26:56,600 --> 00:27:00,880
Speaker 4: I don't know, we say overall just a solidy, Yeah.

568
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 13: This is it definitely was a salagy. Yeah, I firmed

569
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,440
Speaker 13: up a lot of things that I needed to firm up.

570
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:11,159
Speaker 13: You know, I think creative foundation was important for me

571
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 13: to to do, and I certainly did that going into

572
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 13: twenty twenty four and continue twenty twenty five. So I'm

573
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 13: really happy about that. Yeah, if I got something else,

574
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,920
Speaker 13: but I got a question, I'm surprised.

575
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 4: All right, let's finish out with Matt and then we'll

576
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 4: get your question.

577
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,719
Speaker 10: Yeah, I think mine more so physical my fitness.

578
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:36,399
Speaker 1: Yes, he was killing. He was killing just what we do.

579
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 4: Well, I can't say you got skinny, you're you're leaning out?

580
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, John build and muscle up, athletic Matt, all right,

581
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,440
Speaker 1: for real, I'm one to witness that Matt has literally

582
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:49,400
Speaker 1: been here bring here with.

583
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:53,320
Speaker 2: De Val every literally every day working out and want

584
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:56,120
Speaker 2: to be Yeah, yep, days when the whole crew wasn't

585
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 2: here and Matt was still showing up.

586
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,600
Speaker 4: So yeah, that's that's the I.

587
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,480
Speaker 7: Just remember saying I got rid of my man boobs

588
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 7: this year.

589
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:07,119
Speaker 1: Well, I love that you've been working out, working out

590
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 1: your back. Pause.

591
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 13: Uh, my back is still hurt man, Yeah, it still

592
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 13: hurts you. But but but I've done things to maintain

593
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 13: good and to it was.

594
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 7: A point of ship in my back.

595
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,640
Speaker 13: That was really the reason why I started working at

596
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 13: My back was just killing me every single morning waking up.

597
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 7: So yeah, I got that taken care of.

598
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 1: See. Well, last year we were talking about how I

599
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:32,880
Speaker 1: always got to be somebody big brother and friends. Don't

600
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:34,399
Speaker 1: be wanting to hear that ship. I was about to

601
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 1: do that to Josh just now when I stopped myself

602
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 1: because and then you finished it. Because I would say,

603
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 1: make sure this year you get your back strokes, you

604
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 1: work out, and I said, I'm not gonna say it

605
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 1: because I know, and then he said it, so it

606
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 1: proves I didn't have to say it. So I appreciate

607
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 1: y'all for giving me some growth by telling me that

608
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 1: about myself without telling me. But y'all told me directly.

609
00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 1: But I got a question for y'all. You're welcome, Yes,

610
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:03,640
Speaker 1: a question for y'all. This new year. I don't want

611
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:05,480
Speaker 1: to hear nothing about no new year and new meat.

612
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:08,960
Speaker 1: I want to hear some resolutions that have nothing to

613
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 1: do with fitness, finances, or relationships. Something that something that

614
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 1: you want to do different about yourself will change or

615
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:20,520
Speaker 1: work on that has nothing to do with those three

616
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:22,160
Speaker 1: because those are always the three people. So that will

617
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 1: make more money this year. I'm gonna get skinned this year.

618
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,880
Speaker 1: Well I'm again I'm a fall in love this year. No,

619
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 1: I want to hear something different.

620
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 10: I got mine. I've been saying for the last year.

621
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 10: I'm trying to work on intentionally putting this our gallery

622
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 10: out and let people see my work more.

623
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 1: So creatively, creatively creating a space for yourself. Okay, I

624
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 1: like that.

625
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 14: Man.

626
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 10: That's a major thing for me, not even the finance

627
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 10: part of it. I just want people to see the

628
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 10: art that I've been creating for years.

629
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell y'all why I'm asking this after I

630
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 1: hear everybody's if you don't know what about you?

631
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 4: I guess this is kind of it.

632
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 2: Will it will impact relationships, I guess I'll put it

633
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 2: that way. But it's going to dial us back to

634
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 2: the episode that I did we did where I was like,

635
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,640
Speaker 2: sometimes I won't text you back for three four weeks

636
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 2: and you know it's okay. Because friends understand that we'd

637
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 2: be busy, and after losing a dear friend this past year,

638
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 2: I don't want to wait anymore. Like wow, we joke

639
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 2: about like getting out the group chat or trying to

640
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:26,719
Speaker 2: be intentional with our time, and when you realize that

641
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 2: time runs out, you know, it's unfortunate that losing a

642
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 2: friend who's so dare to me made me realize that there's.

643
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:35,560
Speaker 4: Harm in that.

644
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 2: There's harm in not being intentional about taking time to

645
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 2: connect with people. And that's not just in passing by,

646
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 2: that's not just in the voice notes, but it's in

647
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 2: physically getting in those spaces. Because I also recall in

648
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 2: twenty twenty five the times that I did take to

649
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 2: meet with people, you know, friends, relationships that I hold dare.

650
00:30:57,040 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 2: That time and being intentional just felt so much better.

651
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 2: That are for my mental for my central nervous system,

652
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 2: like everything just felt better when I'm in spaces with

653
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 2: people who I love, in a door like that.

654
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 4: So I want to be more intentional about that this year.

655
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 2: I like it actually connecting and not using the excuse

656
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 2: that I have all the things going on, because life

657
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:17,800
Speaker 2: is not going to stop. It's always going to be

658
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,440
Speaker 2: something to do you know, but you have to be

659
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:22,040
Speaker 2: intentional with those relationships.

660
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 1: So that taught me, Okay, I like that one for me.

661
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 11: Something that I realized a boy myself this last well

662
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 11: twenty twenty five is that I heard a woman say

663
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 11: that she doesn't have imposter syndrome.

664
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 6: She doesn't think she's an imposter.

665
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 11: She has a worthiness wound and so sometimes she doesn't

666
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 11: feel like worthy of doing things that she has to

667
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 11: remind herself of why. And so that's what I want

668
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 11: to work on this year. I think that a lot

669
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 11: of what has kept me from going after the things

670
00:31:56,600 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 11: that I want is just not feeling worthy, comparing myself

671
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 11: to other people, not feeling like, you know, feeling like

672
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:06,560
Speaker 11: why would somebody want me to do this thing, and

673
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 11: not remembering.

674
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 6: Who I am and what I'm good at the gift right.

675
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 11: Yeah, So recently I've been reminding myself of how I

676
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 11: even got here. I wrote it down, and I worked

677
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 11: like tirelessly to become a podcast producer, to become an

678
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:30,720
Speaker 11: on air host, and I made those things happen, and

679
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 11: I almost forgot.

680
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 6: You know, you know what I'm saying.

681
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 11: So that's what I'm working on this here, is just

682
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:43,320
Speaker 11: keeping in touch with how powerful, talented, creative, and capable

683
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 11: I am and going after what I want.

684
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 1: I'm actually glad you said that trouble, because listening to

685
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 1: that is part of the reason why I asked that question.

686
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 1: Being a trainer for so many years, you always get

687
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 1: people's New Year's resolutions, and I noticed that being a

688
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,760
Speaker 1: trainer January first, I got a lot of new people

689
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 1: in the door. February first, half of them wasn't there.

690
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 1: And part of the reason why is because we tend

691
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 1: to put a number, or we try to antiquate our success,

692
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 1: and if you fail early, you quit and say next

693
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,000
Speaker 1: year is going to be what it is. That's why

694
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 1: I didn't want to say finances. I didn't want to

695
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 1: say relationships, and I didn't want to say what was

696
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,560
Speaker 1: the other one fitness because fitness often comes with a number,

697
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 1: and if you say by February, I want to be

698
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 1: down three pounds, and if you only lost two pounds,

699
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,320
Speaker 1: most people just say for it. With finances, if you

700
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,480
Speaker 1: don't make that number by February, or if you haven't

701
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:36,800
Speaker 1: fallen in love by then, it's Valentine's Day, you buy yourself.

702
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 1: People quit. So I wanted to ask this question because

703
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 1: I've noticed when I've given people who are my clients

704
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 1: a different goal that wasn't numeracle or couldn't be antiquated

705
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 1: by the end of the month, there was a less

706
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 1: chance they quit because all they see is progress. You

707
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,720
Speaker 1: see what I'm saying. So it doesn't matter if Okay,

708
00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 1: I've been working out all month, I didn't lose no weight,

709
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 1: how many inches did you lose on your waist? Because

710
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 1: the goal was never wait? You know what I'm saying.

711
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:07,920
Speaker 1: And I think if more people took that approach with

712
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:11,520
Speaker 1: the top of the year, it wouldn't be about Okay,

713
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:13,719
Speaker 1: it's February first, Where am I from when I made

714
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 1: this resolution? And if I haven't gotten farther enough all

715
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:19,360
Speaker 1: the years over, I quit When you talked about working

716
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 1: on something for the betterment of your mind, that's something

717
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 1: you can't answer, quate. So you only fail if you quit.

718
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying. You see that's why it

719
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,799
Speaker 1: was actually perfect. You only fail if you quit. When

720
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 1: you start to look at New Years like that and

721
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:35,719
Speaker 1: you just say, I'm not gonna quit. I'm gonna keep

722
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:37,279
Speaker 1: going because I'm not gonna be a quitter at the

723
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:38,759
Speaker 1: end of the year, you can look back and see

724
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 1: how far you've come.

725
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 2: That makes me think of the debate between motivation and discipline,

726
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 2: you know, because with discipline, it's a practice that's put

727
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 2: in place that you do all the time, regardless of

728
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,400
Speaker 2: what's happening, regardless of how you feel, regardless of the

729
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 2: elements around you. But then when you wait for motivation,

730
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:02,719
Speaker 2: motivation comes and goes. It's fleeting. So that kind of

731
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:05,439
Speaker 2: made me think of those two comparisons when you talked

732
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 2: about quantifying it, because if you're existing more so in

733
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 2: the space of discipline to try to do whatever it

734
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 2: is you're seeking to do, then you don't have to

735
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:17,319
Speaker 2: worry about it coming and going. Discipline is an act

736
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 2: that you do over and over again. How many times

737
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:20,960
Speaker 2: do they say you have to do something become habits.

738
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,040
Speaker 1: It takes thousands of muscle movements to become.

739
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:25,400
Speaker 2: Muscle, to become muscle memory, or for something to become

740
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 2: a habit. Yeah, so, yeah, that's interesting. I think I'm

741
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,839
Speaker 2: trying to take that approach more when I go through life.

742
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:33,400
Speaker 1: I have a question for you, do you think it

743
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:37,319
Speaker 1: requires more discipline to be motivated or more motivation to

744
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:42,359
Speaker 1: be disciplined. Think about it for a second. Think about

745
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:45,440
Speaker 1: it so again, do you think it requires more discipline

746
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 1: to be motivated or it requires more motivation to be disciplined.

747
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:51,719
Speaker 1: The reason why I ask that is because of this.

748
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:54,319
Speaker 1: There's some days I get in that room and I

749
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:58,399
Speaker 1: got to go work out, and I'm not motivated at all, right,

750
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:01,360
Speaker 1: but I'm disciplined. It's like yesterday, man, and we just

751
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:04,040
Speaker 1: kept doing before you did it, you know, before you

752
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:06,640
Speaker 1: got motivated to go, you just started doing it. Right.

753
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:09,920
Speaker 1: So for me, discipline is more and more important because

754
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 1: discipline happens regardless of the motivation. But if you require

755
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:17,280
Speaker 1: motivation for your discipline, if you're not motivated, nothing happens.

756
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 7: Absolutely.

757
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:20,479
Speaker 1: The reason why I ask that that what goes into

758
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:24,880
Speaker 1: what I just talked about. Numbers often give you what motivation,

759
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 1: but numbers don't give you discipline. That's why when you

760
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:30,760
Speaker 1: set a number and you're not motivated and you fail,

761
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,400
Speaker 1: it's easy to quit. You always got to lead with this.

762
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 1: Discipline over desire determines your destination.

763
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 4: Did you make that up?

764
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 1: Or was that something I did? I made it up

765
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:44,319
Speaker 1: twenty seventeen, like I heard it several times, said he

766
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 1: made it up. I made it up.

767
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:47,320
Speaker 6: Find the guy.

768
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:51,920
Speaker 1: Did it? Go google it.

769
00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 6: I put the phrase right now somewhere.

770
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:59,440
Speaker 1: Discipline over desire determines your destination. It probably don't have

771
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 1: my name that come up because I put it in

772
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:03,120
Speaker 1: a post you did.

773
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,759
Speaker 4: I was wondering, so it was like we talent when

774
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 4: talent doesn't that's not my card.

775
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 2: I know that was yours, but I heard you say

776
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,360
Speaker 2: things often, so like I'm wondering, is.

777
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 4: Triple's looking it up?

778
00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 6: It's said notes in Instagram posts on July twenty eight five.

779
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, somebody else must have tagg it and tag me.

780
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:29,360
Speaker 1: That's my quote.

781
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:32,240
Speaker 4: Baby, put it on the shirt.

782
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:35,600
Speaker 1: It was on the wall, and it was on the

783
00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 1: wall at Prototype.

784
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 4: Discipline it determines your like I know, I've seen it

785
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 4: before you.

786
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:43,920
Speaker 1: I know the ones that aren't mine. Hard work the talent.

787
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 1: When talent doesn't work hard, that's not mine.

788
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:46,440
Speaker 4: Right.

789
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 1: Those who say they can and those who say they

790
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,920
Speaker 1: can't are both usually right. That's confucious, right, right, right.

791
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:53,840
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, for every action, there's an

792
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 1: equal in opposite reaction. That's newton Thirs law. Those are

793
00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 1: things I used to say all the time in prototype right,

794
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 1: discipline over the determines your destination. It's something I made

795
00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:03,880
Speaker 1: up because I was trying to get these kids to

796
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 1: be disciplined. All they kept saying to me was I want,

797
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 1: but I want. I say, you sound like you want,

798
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,360
Speaker 1: you desire it, but you're not disciplined.

799
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:12,359
Speaker 4: So can you teach discipline or are you born with it?

800
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 1: You can definitely teach this, Yeah, you can teach this.

801
00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:18,840
Speaker 7: I don't think you're born with discipline.

802
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:19,960
Speaker 1: Oh.

803
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:23,720
Speaker 2: You see some people, for example, are their work ethic

804
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 2: or their drive seems to be higher than others. So

805
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:28,840
Speaker 2: my thing is that is that a byproduct of discipline

806
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 2: or is that just how people are.

807
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 11: There's a woman who did a TED talk who said

808
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 11: that grit actually determines success more so than discipline does.

809
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 11: She says that, yeah, kids that have to actually like

810
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 11: fight for their resource adversity.

811
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 6: Yeah, so the more the more.

812
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 11: Like challenges they face basically, the more challenges they overcome

813
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:55,399
Speaker 11: basically determines how well they're going to do more so

814
00:38:55,440 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 11: then even she was like disproving Malcolm glad else twenty

815
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 11: thousand hours or whatever.

816
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,799
Speaker 1: Yes, the theory that if you do things for twenty

817
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,320
Speaker 1: thousand hours, you become an expert and you master that skill.

818
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:10,480
Speaker 11: Yeah, she said, grit actually determines that more so so,

819
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 11: I think that also grit helps with discipline. It does, yeah,

820
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 11: having to overcome things. I'd be meeting these women who've

821
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,959
Speaker 11: had the worst childhood you could ever imagine, and they're

822
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:25,719
Speaker 11: like the most successful people I ever met in my life.

823
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 6: No, I definitely.

824
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:29,879
Speaker 1: I mean, look at the most successful people in the world,

825
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:33,480
Speaker 1: all gone through like crazy, crazy things. I think that

826
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 1: grit is ultimately teaches you how to be disciplined when

827
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 1: you don't when you're not motivated.

828
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 4: Right, or you have no choice. Yeah, in your backs

829
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:40,759
Speaker 4: against the wall.

830
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:42,840
Speaker 2: I remember when we first moved out here, I was

831
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 2: just like, oh my god, Like, we got to find

832
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:47,359
Speaker 2: some adversity for Jackson. Let them walk to the gate

833
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:49,400
Speaker 2: at the subdivision to get picked up from the bus.

834
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 4: I was like, it's not the same as like walking.

835
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 2: Down walking through flatus trying to get on the bus.

836
00:39:57,160 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 1: That's not what I bro less what I said, it

837
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:05,839
Speaker 1: was similar. Yeah, But what happened was I was like, Yo,

838
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start letting Jackson take the bus. She was like,

839
00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:11,200
Speaker 1: he need adversity, you know. What I'm saying. We get up,

840
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:12,839
Speaker 1: we drive him to school every day. And then Kate

841
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:14,920
Speaker 1: was kind to me talking about and yeah, let him

842
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 1: get some adversity walking through these green trees dated community.

843
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 1: I was like, shut up right though, I'm not gonna.

844
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:28,760
Speaker 13: I didn't say it like that, but made some squirrels

845
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 13: are real tough tree.

846
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 4: Out here.

847
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:39,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, you got deer too, fan white Tail. You know,

848
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:43,040
Speaker 1: I was a kid man. I seen band be getting shot,

849
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 1: I see baby walking down. I was like, that's my.

850
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,400
Speaker 2: Adversity, thinking the way discipline can't be talked like. I

851
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:53,759
Speaker 2: even look at the boys right for example, and I

852
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 2: can only speak to my children because they might but

853
00:40:56,320 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 2: we are very deliberate about making sure that they have

854
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,200
Speaker 2: a routine, that they have a structure.

855
00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 4: There's things they have to do.

856
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:07,919
Speaker 2: Devao will say to them, as a man, there's things

857
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:09,799
Speaker 2: that you're going to have to do that you don't

858
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 2: want to do, and you just have to do it.

859
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 2: And that's those are the things that are being ingrained

860
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:18,719
Speaker 2: in them now. So they understand that in life there's

861
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 2: going to be things that you don't want to do,

862
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:23,799
Speaker 2: but they have to get done. And we have some

863
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:28,440
Speaker 2: children of ours who are just naturally, you know, workaholics,

864
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 2: and they want.

865
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:30,000
Speaker 4: To be better and they're going to push.

866
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,399
Speaker 2: And then we have some that are just like, well,

867
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:33,279
Speaker 2: this is the structure and the discipline that's been put

868
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:34,239
Speaker 2: in place, this.

869
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:35,680
Speaker 4: Is what's expected of me.

870
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 2: So when people see our children sometimes and they're successful

871
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,839
Speaker 2: in sports or academics, they're like, damn, like, how did

872
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:43,520
Speaker 2: you get your kids to focus? How did you get

873
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 2: them to And it's just because we're deliberate about being

874
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:48,880
Speaker 2: on them about it. Devau takes them to the park

875
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 2: and a lot of times people will stop and be like, wow,

876
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:54,840
Speaker 2: your kids, Like they listen and they follow instructions, and

877
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 2: we get it from their teachers, and we're like, well, yeah,

878
00:41:57,280 --> 00:42:00,440
Speaker 2: because it's what's practiced and expected at home that they

879
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,920
Speaker 2: now take out with them into the world. And not

880
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 2: everybody does that with their children, which is fine, you know,

881
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:08,879
Speaker 2: to each their own. But I can see where all

882
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 2: four of them are gonna have no choice but to

883
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 2: be disciplined with whatever it is that they do, because

884
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 2: they're not gonna fail. Especially if they started, they're not

885
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:20,359
Speaker 2: gonna stop. You're gonna see it through. There's a process,

886
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 2: even if it's something halfway through you realize this may

887
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 2: not be for me. You're gonna have to see it

888
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:25,600
Speaker 2: through till the end.

889
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 1: So let me ask a question. I know you can

890
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:30,719
Speaker 1: teach discipline, can you teach great? Because I would be

891
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:33,719
Speaker 1: the one to say no. I've coached a bunch of kids,

892
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:37,279
Speaker 1: and I've watched kids come through the same you know

893
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 1: how Brooklyn is East New York, Flatbush Crown Heights. There's

894
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:44,879
Speaker 1: a lot going on. I've watched kids who I've given

895
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:47,240
Speaker 1: the same speeches to get up and run to practice.

896
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:50,640
Speaker 1: If the MTA wasn't working, then I've watched kids get

897
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 1: up and their dad say they gonna be two minutes late.

898
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 1: So they say, I'm not going furtther type because I'm

899
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:56,880
Speaker 1: gonna have to run. It's like, it doesn't it doesn't

900
00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:00,359
Speaker 1: matter how much you try to force that aspect. Great

901
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:04,480
Speaker 1: is something you just can't teach. Where does that come from?

902
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 6: Just life?

903
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 4: Life, environment likes.

904
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 11: Just your Yeah, your the experiences that you have growing up.

905
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 11: So I feel like you can probably manufacture experiences that

906
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:18,600
Speaker 11: create grit, Like if you're hungry, you got to make

907
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 11: yourself some food, you know what I'm saying, or whatever,

908
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,839
Speaker 11: you can probably manufacture those experiences, But I do think

909
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:26,880
Speaker 11: it comes from the experiences that you grow up in.

910
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:30,319
Speaker 6: How much do you have to see a challenge and

911
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:31,479
Speaker 6: figure it out on your own?

912
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 11: How much do you have to like My favorite thing

913
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:37,440
Speaker 11: to say right now is me I was talking to

914
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 11: my therapist about But.

915
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:40,719
Speaker 6: I was talking to my therapists about this the.

916
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 11: Other day about just how to like make the things

917
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:47,759
Speaker 11: that you have to do the things that you want

918
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 11: to do, because at the end of the day, they

919
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 11: are things that you want for yourself, you know what

920
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:53,799
Speaker 11: I'm saying. And people with great I feel like those

921
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:56,279
Speaker 11: things that they have to do are also things that

922
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 11: they want to do because they want to change their circumstance.

923
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:01,680
Speaker 1: Let me ask you a question for mentalities. When you

924
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:04,319
Speaker 1: come across something that you don't want to do, what

925
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:07,279
Speaker 1: is your thought process? Because my first thought process is, man,

926
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:09,759
Speaker 1: I really don't want to do this shit, But what

927
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:14,280
Speaker 1: a wonderful opportunity I have yes to prove to myself

928
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:16,759
Speaker 1: that I can do this. Like we and Matt did

929
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:18,799
Speaker 1: not want to work out yesterday, and we was both

930
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:21,280
Speaker 1: in their life trying to give each other every excuse.

931
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,839
Speaker 1: I went and took the kids to the park came back.

932
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:25,200
Speaker 1: I was like, if Matt ain't here, I'm not going

933
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:27,239
Speaker 1: to work out. I came back, Matt still here. But

934
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:29,759
Speaker 1: it was just like, those are the things that I

935
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:32,600
Speaker 1: wonder too. Can you coach a kid? Because we have

936
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 1: four children, they're all different, and they're all different for

937
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 1: different reasons. Some of it comes with your ability. Jackson,

938
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:41,319
Speaker 1: to me, I think is the most talented naturally of

939
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:44,440
Speaker 1: all of them. I give Jackson a soccer ball, I'll

940
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 1: come back in ten minutes. Jackson can juggle with both feet. Cairo,

941
00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:49,719
Speaker 1: I give him a soccer ball. I come back in

942
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:51,759
Speaker 1: thirty minutes. He's trying his hardest to do it, but

943
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:54,799
Speaker 1: he don't have it. The next day, he's now perfected

944
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:56,920
Speaker 1: the fact that he can juggle. Because Jackson got it

945
00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 1: in ten minutes and put it down. Kirol's practiced it

946
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:01,840
Speaker 1: so many time and now he can juggle and backflip.

947
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:06,040
Speaker 1: So to me, it's like when a kid struggles with

948
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:08,640
Speaker 1: something a lot, I've noticed that kid typically is the

949
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 1: one to be like, I'm going to get it. The

950
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 1: kid that just comes natural. Cazz, you see how lacks

951
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 1: of aasical cas is. But then Kaz goes out there

952
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:20,080
Speaker 1: and just scores a touchdown, no training. Sometimes it's hard

953
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:21,840
Speaker 1: for me to enforce grit because he like, but that

954
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 1: I can do this whenever I want. So do you

955
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:28,759
Speaker 1: think ability? It sounds like ability really enforces how much

956
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 1: grit you need to be successful? Ability, you know what

957
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 1: I'm saying, because if you just good at stuff early

958
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 1: and naturally you don't have to work, it's hard.

959
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:38,000
Speaker 4: I guess.

960
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 2: It depends on what level you want to do certain

961
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 2: things right, So you would hope that you would hope that,

962
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:47,360
Speaker 2: for example, Kaz if he did want to then eventually

963
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:49,520
Speaker 2: be a big time soccer player, that's going to require

964
00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:51,040
Speaker 2: a certain level of hours put in.

965
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:52,840
Speaker 4: It's not just to say I can do it and

966
00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:53,279
Speaker 4: then do it.

967
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:55,759
Speaker 2: It depends on how far you'd like to go in

968
00:45:55,760 --> 00:46:01,520
Speaker 2: whatever subject or area that is. You know, I understand

969
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:05,480
Speaker 2: too now when you say, for example, with Jackson, figure

970
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 2: it out, you see figure it out, because I'm inclined

971
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 2: as mom to be like, well, the the writing's on

972
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 2: the wall. For example, Jackson knows that he has two

973
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:17,720
Speaker 2: exams on a Thursday, so he does his notes or whatever.

974
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:20,560
Speaker 2: He's like, Mom, can you test me on it? Wednesday night?

975
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,000
Speaker 2: Jay hits him and he's like, yo, we in five

976
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:26,680
Speaker 2: ams tomorrow morning, and then he has practice in the

977
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:29,320
Speaker 2: middle of the day, and then he has practice after school,

978
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:33,000
Speaker 2: so he's essentially gonna have three different workouts, two exams.

979
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:34,479
Speaker 4: You gotta be up.

980
00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:37,640
Speaker 2: At five am. So then you're talking to him, and

981
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:40,319
Speaker 2: Joshon's just like, damn, I got two tests. I got this,

982
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 2: I got that. So devows like, well, what are you

983
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:44,920
Speaker 2: gonna do? And I'm inclined to be like, well, you

984
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,279
Speaker 2: can't go to five ams because mentally, you have to

985
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:49,719
Speaker 2: be rested to do these exams because you know that

986
00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:52,319
Speaker 2: that's a priority. You're gonna do three workouts and then

987
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 2: two exams and then not be able to focus because

988
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 2: you haven't slept enough and you're gonna be tired. That's

989
00:46:56,719 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 2: my mind, and the DEVO is like, hey, let him

990
00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:02,080
Speaker 2: figure it out, talk it through us, through it with

991
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:05,239
Speaker 2: us saying if you're if you're unsure about what you

992
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 2: should do or where the priority lies, talk it through.

993
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 2: And then that's what Deval kind of coaxed them into doing.

994
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 2: And then he figured out, Okay, it's not in my

995
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 2: best interest to be up Therefore thirty in the morning,

996
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:19,400
Speaker 2: I can go to practice midday in gym practice later,

997
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 2: and then I can focus, get a good night's sleep

998
00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:26,440
Speaker 2: on my exam. So it's just really allowing the adversity

999
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:29,560
Speaker 2: and the critical thinking to find a way to match,

1000
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:30,680
Speaker 2: way to work each other out.

1001
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:32,719
Speaker 1: Yes, And as a parent it's hard sometimes to let

1002
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:36,200
Speaker 1: you ship your child do that because what need, what

1003
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:39,400
Speaker 1: requires critical thinking for them is often very obvious for

1004
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:42,839
Speaker 1: us because we've lived it before, right, So and think

1005
00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:45,200
Speaker 1: about how we quipple them as a parent. It's like

1006
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:47,960
Speaker 1: we take away all the critical thinking skills and then

1007
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,080
Speaker 1: they become adults who never had to critically think.

1008
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:51,200
Speaker 4: We know some stuff like that.

1009
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:54,320
Speaker 1: Now you know they're making freaking New York's resolutions and

1010
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:56,160
Speaker 1: don't have any grit to see it through, like this

1011
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:56,800
Speaker 1: is really what.

1012
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,319
Speaker 2: Happened, or can't even make the decision. We know some

1013
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:00,759
Speaker 2: adults that are like I don't know what I should do,

1014
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 2: or you know, they're they're they're eventually not making a

1015
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:07,960
Speaker 2: decision or missing an opportunity because they're indecisive and they

1016
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:10,839
Speaker 2: want someone to make the decision for them. So we've

1017
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:13,840
Speaker 2: realized that by seeing even people around us, you know,

1018
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:16,160
Speaker 2: even some of our family members who are a bit younger,

1019
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:18,399
Speaker 2: but you know they're older now, and it's like, man,

1020
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:21,480
Speaker 2: like your mom and dad used to do everything for you.

1021
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:25,080
Speaker 2: That how you know, So even with Jackson interacting with coaches,

1022
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:27,040
Speaker 2: it's like, we're not going to talk to you, yea

1023
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:29,319
Speaker 2: when it comes to your coach. That's not my coach,

1024
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:31,719
Speaker 2: that's your coach. So you're gonna have to develop that

1025
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:34,080
Speaker 2: relationship and figure out how to communicate effectively, to be

1026
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 2: an advocate for yourself, but also be respectful of what

1027
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 2: they're requiring of you.

1028
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:38,840
Speaker 6: You know.

1029
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, my mind is going right now. That's why I'm

1030
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:44,640
Speaker 1: coming quiet because now I'm thinking about ways to make

1031
00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:47,319
Speaker 1: my kids more gritty. Like I'm over here just thinking

1032
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:48,200
Speaker 1: about what I'm about.

1033
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 4: To the obstacle course the door.

1034
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:53,399
Speaker 1: No more sneakers, it's got to be cold every day.

1035
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:56,640
Speaker 1: Like I'm gonna just find ways, you know, to make

1036
00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:58,520
Speaker 1: them do things they don't want to do. Because the

1037
00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:01,440
Speaker 1: more I think about it, I don't know one successful

1038
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:04,719
Speaker 1: person other than someone who's inherited millions of dollars who

1039
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 1: got successful without being gritty. You can be as smart

1040
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 1: as you want, but there's gonna come the moments where

1041
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:14,319
Speaker 1: nothing is happening. Yeah, you gotta pivot and you got

1042
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 1: to make some shit shape.

1043
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:18,279
Speaker 4: You gotta be gretty. I'm saying a little delusional, a

1044
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:21,720
Speaker 4: little insane, A lot of delusional, have some audacity.

1045
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:23,800
Speaker 6: Some audacity that gotta have word.

1046
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:25,080
Speaker 4: To do stuff.

1047
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:27,440
Speaker 2: And I mean the stakes are low right now for

1048
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 2: our kids. So for like Jackson, for example, like this

1049
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:32,160
Speaker 2: morning is cold outside, right. I ready told him, I

1050
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:35,799
Speaker 2: sent my guy, if you get sick and I don't

1051
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:37,960
Speaker 2: see if you get sick and I don't see you

1052
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:39,600
Speaker 2: was wearing your jacket, your sweatshirt.

1053
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:41,879
Speaker 4: This that the third don't come to me over here, mouth.

1054
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:42,520
Speaker 1: I can't.

1055
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:44,840
Speaker 4: I don't want to hear it. I don't want to

1056
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 4: hear it.

1057
00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:47,360
Speaker 2: So this morning he comes out with short sleeve school

1058
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:50,920
Speaker 2: shirt on. I'm like, oh, where's your where's your black

1059
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:51,840
Speaker 2: czar jacket?

1060
00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:52,279
Speaker 4: I got you?

1061
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 2: He don't know where it's at. I said, okay, cool,

1062
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:57,600
Speaker 2: where's your sweatshirt? Let me check the laundry room. He

1063
00:49:57,640 --> 00:50:00,440
Speaker 2: goes to the laundry room. Did Jackson do his laundry Sunday?

1064
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 6: Didn't?

1065
00:50:02,239 --> 00:50:05,360
Speaker 2: So his laundry bag is in the laundry room, sacked

1066
00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:06,800
Speaker 2: and overflowing.

1067
00:50:06,719 --> 00:50:08,640
Speaker 4: And he's just like, damn all my sweatshirts and dirty.

1068
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:10,200
Speaker 2: I said, oh, because you didn't do laundry like I

1069
00:50:10,239 --> 00:50:12,719
Speaker 2: told you should typically do on a Sunday. So what

1070
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:15,000
Speaker 2: you're gonna do now, You're gonna be cold, You're gonna

1071
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:18,400
Speaker 2: get sick. So he picks up this is such a

1072
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 2: boy thing, picks up the one sweatshirt that's on top.

1073
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:22,760
Speaker 4: And he goes straight to the armpit.

1074
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:26,160
Speaker 6: He's like, all.

1075
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:31,400
Speaker 1: Right on, and he was like, mission, I'm gonna be honest.

1076
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:34,120
Speaker 1: That's that's our like, that's our program. And I'm like,

1077
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 1: all right, my pal by my bed. I'll be like,

1078
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:39,040
Speaker 1: it's still good.

1079
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:50,000
Speaker 10: You gotta do this checked. Because then she goes you good,

1080
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 10: you know you're good?

1081
00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:53,400
Speaker 4: Like you got one more thing? You teetering, you teetering,

1082
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:54,960
Speaker 4: Let me where this is outside?

1083
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 10: You got a half a day.

1084
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:58,840
Speaker 1: Let me tell you the funniest thing broke watching k

1085
00:50:59,000 --> 00:50:59,719
Speaker 1: with her pink roll.

1086
00:50:59,800 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 5: Right.

1087
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:02,920
Speaker 1: She'd be walking up in the morning a robey all

1088
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:05,480
Speaker 1: the way up here, right right, Because you'll know any

1089
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:07,880
Speaker 1: other time Kate gonna wear something that she let me

1090
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:10,000
Speaker 1: know that she's ready. Right, she got it up here

1091
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:11,960
Speaker 1: in the morning, right, she walking around with this pink

1092
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:15,520
Speaker 1: fluffy robe. Right, it's old. The belt got the pink

1093
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 1: and white polka dot. It's not even.

1094
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:18,399
Speaker 4: The college y'all.

1095
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 2: I've really only saved it because of the nostalgia of it.

1096
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 2: That was my robe in college, so that's why she's

1097
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:24,520
Speaker 2: still here.

1098
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:27,480
Speaker 1: So she got the robe with the different belt. She's

1099
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:29,520
Speaker 1: talking to Jackson, and I'm looking. I'm like, damn, she

1100
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:31,719
Speaker 1: thick even in that robe. And all I hear from

1101
00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:35,320
Speaker 1: her talking to Jackson is just like this, Yo, my man,

1102
00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:39,719
Speaker 1: my man, if you come in here sick today, problems.

1103
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:42,439
Speaker 1: Then she walks away, like I'm looking at the most

1104
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:45,279
Speaker 1: New York mom, because Jackson is standing there looking down

1105
00:51:45,280 --> 00:51:47,800
Speaker 1: at her, and she's like, yo, my man. And I

1106
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 1: could see her face.

1107
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:51,360
Speaker 4: She's not playing pay look crazy.

1108
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:54,359
Speaker 2: He was, he was, And it's like, you know, it's

1109
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:56,440
Speaker 2: like a domino effected here. It's not just you that

1110
00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:58,919
Speaker 2: you affected. When you run around here sneezing, It's gonna

1111
00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:02,960
Speaker 2: be you Pyra kaz coda. You got your grandparents here.

1112
00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:04,600
Speaker 2: I'm like, Mom and Dad gonna get you all flue shot.

1113
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:04,719
Speaker 1: Do.

1114
00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:07,840
Speaker 4: What y'all gotta do is protect yourselves. You know what

1115
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:08,680
Speaker 4: I'm saying. Protect you.

1116
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 1: There'll be a lot of this in the morning, a

1117
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:13,080
Speaker 1: lot of fist pushing the hand in the morning, Like

1118
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:16,879
Speaker 1: it'd be a lot of don't do that. You've never

1119
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:21,640
Speaker 1: seen the thumb be up it, don't it. Don't be

1120
00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:22,600
Speaker 1: like the thumb be up.

1121
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:23,839
Speaker 4: Cause my nail.

1122
00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:25,840
Speaker 2: My nails a short night, but they typically be like

1123
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,760
Speaker 2: long nails. So I'd be like, I promise you that,

1124
00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 2: I promise you. If you walk up in this house

1125
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:36,160
Speaker 2: and you doing that, it's gonna be a problem because

1126
00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:41,640
Speaker 2: I've been told you to wear the jackets, you go

1127
00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:44,760
Speaker 2: play bowl, you go outside, you're running from building to building,

1128
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:49,200
Speaker 2: Your poors are open, your pours.

1129
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:51,800
Speaker 7: Nineteen nineties girl.

1130
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:57,160
Speaker 1: Hood, the hand be open, because it'd be like my man,

1131
00:52:57,520 --> 00:52:59,000
Speaker 1: then I tell you, and then me me and said,

1132
00:52:59,000 --> 00:52:59,920
Speaker 1: well I told him.

1133
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:05,280
Speaker 4: Mom, right, I'll be like, don't please, please, don't interject.

1134
00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:07,600
Speaker 1: Does she look at me. I'd be like.

1135
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:13,319
Speaker 2: To make an excuse for them, and I'm just like, no,

1136
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 2: first of all, of course, nobody.

1137
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:16,440
Speaker 1: Asked you, and I'll make excuses for me.

1138
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:17,239
Speaker 4: Thank you, but no, thanks.

1139
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:19,839
Speaker 1: You don't want to hear none of that, none of that.

1140
00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 2: Thanks, all right, this is a really cute question to

1141
00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:25,960
Speaker 2: run out the conversation that trip will put on the

1142
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:29,520
Speaker 2: cards to the cards. What do you hope for one

1143
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:33,360
Speaker 2: other person in the crew to accomplish in twenty twenty six?

1144
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:37,440
Speaker 4: So I got mine somebody? Yes, Okay, I.

1145
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:40,239
Speaker 13: Hope he wishes the same for me. Okay, okay, I

1146
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:42,680
Speaker 13: hold Matthew. I wish Matthew gets his car. I mean

1147
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:47,839
Speaker 13: I guess his house. Sorry, sorry, multiple.

1148
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:52,439
Speaker 1: I wanted the same thing because he said it when

1149
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:53,960
Speaker 1: when when we were talking about the thing and he

1150
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:55,520
Speaker 1: looked at me, I was thinking the same thing.

1151
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:58,319
Speaker 13: I don't make it any less a pretty guy that

1152
00:53:58,360 --> 00:53:59,880
Speaker 13: Matthew gets his house.

1153
00:54:00,719 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 7: Yeah, I do too. You better say that.

1154
00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:09,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, I hope.

1155
00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:11,880
Speaker 10: I'm praying now, Josh Man, you're gonna get your houses here, Bro,

1156
00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:16,360
Speaker 10: five bedrooms whereas six bedrooms A nice one in Georgia.

1157
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:19,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, George. With us, we have better tax breaks

1158
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 1: down here, trust me, better tax break with us. Mine

1159
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:25,640
Speaker 1: is for Trible, Bro. Okay, I hope you have a

1160
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:30,160
Speaker 1: breakthrough this year financially and for for everything you've done

1161
00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:32,880
Speaker 1: for ask Trible. Yes, I really do hope you have

1162
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:35,800
Speaker 1: a breakthrough for that. I'm I'm going for twenty clients

1163
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:37,960
Speaker 1: this year. That's that's what I'm talking.

1164
00:54:38,280 --> 00:54:40,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wish free, oh, I wish a couple of

1165
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 2: things for only'll for Trible. I wish and pray for

1166
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:47,000
Speaker 2: your mental health that you have less panic attacks.

1167
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:48,120
Speaker 4: Do you feel less.

1168
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:52,160
Speaker 2: Alone, that you are able to exist down here in

1169
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:54,879
Speaker 2: a happy space where you feel like you know that

1170
00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:57,880
Speaker 2: you got things happening for yourself. Your business is flourishing,

1171
00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 2: there's less things for you to have to worry about.

1172
00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:05,360
Speaker 2: So I want that for you for sure, Matt. In

1173
00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:08,600
Speaker 2: addition to the house, you know, I'm going to put

1174
00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:12,520
Speaker 2: in the atmosphere that baby's emotions, you know what I'm saying.

1175
00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:14,200
Speaker 2: I just feel like you need to be secure in

1176
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:17,640
Speaker 2: your house, settled, and then I just feel like that

1177
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:21,359
Speaker 2: will just be an thing for you guys. So that's

1178
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:24,640
Speaker 2: my biggest prayer for you and Chris, the expansion of

1179
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:28,080
Speaker 2: your home and your family, Josh. I want to see

1180
00:55:28,080 --> 00:55:30,640
Speaker 2: you down here with us selfishly, like I hate that

1181
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:32,839
Speaker 2: you have to come and go. You know how much

1182
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:36,080
Speaker 2: we love you your family to us so and I

1183
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:38,600
Speaker 2: love your wife Anika, I love you, love to see

1184
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:40,960
Speaker 2: and Tori. I probably love her more than both of you.

1185
00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:43,120
Speaker 2: So yeah, I would love to see you down here

1186
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:47,560
Speaker 2: and then deval. I want to see you take time

1187
00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:52,440
Speaker 2: for yourself. I want to see you take time for yourself.

1188
00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:57,520
Speaker 2: I want to see you more concerned about yourself and

1189
00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:00,000
Speaker 2: less concerned about.

1190
00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:01,839
Speaker 6: Others.

1191
00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:07,959
Speaker 10: Okay, I'm gonna piggyback on that. The movie trajectory about

1192
00:56:07,960 --> 00:56:09,879
Speaker 10: to take off next year. You've been putting a lot

1193
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:12,239
Speaker 10: of time energy into it.

1194
00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:12,880
Speaker 1: Appreciate it.

1195
00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:14,360
Speaker 10: It's gonna happen, bro, appreciate that.

1196
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 1: I appreciate that.

1197
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:18,240
Speaker 2: And I think that with yourself absolutely, and that focus

1198
00:56:18,280 --> 00:56:21,719
Speaker 2: on yourself will allow you to put it in the

1199
00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:24,759
Speaker 2: space that you needed to be, which is your career trajectory.

1200
00:56:25,200 --> 00:56:26,920
Speaker 1: I appreciate that because you just received it.

1201
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:29,680
Speaker 2: I'll receive it after so many years of being worried

1202
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:30,520
Speaker 2: about your body else.

1203
00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:31,920
Speaker 4: You know I'm here.

1204
00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:35,040
Speaker 1: I do know that, Amen.

1205
00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:37,640
Speaker 6: And for Kadeen, definitely.

1206
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:42,520
Speaker 11: I'm looking forward to season two of Divorced Systems than

1207
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:52,239
Speaker 11: your mouth the guys in Yeah, because you know there's

1208
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:54,720
Speaker 11: been the train I've been on the whole time.

1209
00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:58,040
Speaker 4: Yes, Manadeen's fan club, I already know, Amen.

1210
00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:00,920
Speaker 2: The president all else fail back stuff, gay k we

1211
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:02,080
Speaker 2: could take this show on the road.

1212
00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:03,000
Speaker 6: That's right.

1213
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:05,040
Speaker 1: With the road.

1214
00:57:05,120 --> 00:57:10,160
Speaker 2: Worst case scenario, no I appreciate that. I do look

1215
00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:12,800
Speaker 2: forward to that as well too, And I'm also praying

1216
00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:15,160
Speaker 2: that things get squared away so we can get back

1217
00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:17,320
Speaker 2: to filming. That would be amazing. I love for y'all

1218
00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:19,720
Speaker 2: to at least you the second half of season one, honey.

1219
00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:21,000
Speaker 1: Facts, very least.

1220
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:27,160
Speaker 2: Facts if I get another d M. So that's awesome.

1221
00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:27,960
Speaker 4: And I think, you know what.

1222
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,720
Speaker 2: We We have each other's back, we have you, We

1223
00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:36,720
Speaker 2: have a support system built in within ourselves. Yeah, y'all

1224
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:37,240
Speaker 2: know we're here.

1225
00:57:37,400 --> 00:57:38,800
Speaker 6: We do, yeah, we do.

1226
00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:41,400
Speaker 2: All right, y'all, let's take a quick break and we're

1227
00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 2: going to come back and do our listener letter, the

1228
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:48,560
Speaker 2: first one of the year, right, the first one of

1229
00:57:48,560 --> 00:58:05,080
Speaker 2: the year. We'll be right back, all right, and we're

1230
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:07,680
Speaker 2: back alone, jump right in. Hey, Kadeen and Devour. My

1231
00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:10,280
Speaker 2: name is Tamari, and I need some advice from all

1232
00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:12,360
Speaker 2: of you. So my son just started school and his

1233
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:15,480
Speaker 2: father and I, who's my boyfriend, doesn't have the same

1234
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:18,640
Speaker 2: quote unquote system that works. I get our son ready

1235
00:58:18,680 --> 00:58:20,919
Speaker 2: for bed, make sure he has eaten for the night,

1236
00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:23,120
Speaker 2: get up in the morning, get him ready for school,

1237
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:25,640
Speaker 2: and then take him to school. Recently, I asked him

1238
00:58:25,680 --> 00:58:28,439
Speaker 2: if we could try something new or different. I wanted

1239
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:29,960
Speaker 2: to see if he could at least get our son

1240
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:32,040
Speaker 2: ready for bed and take him to school in the morning,

1241
00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:33,520
Speaker 2: since he only picks him up at the end of

1242
00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:37,040
Speaker 2: the day. The answer he proceeded to say was that

1243
00:58:37,840 --> 00:58:40,800
Speaker 2: I'm working nights. How can I do everything you're asking me,

1244
00:58:41,560 --> 00:58:44,040
Speaker 2: That's what he says, then proceeds to tell me that

1245
00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:47,360
Speaker 2: I'm selfish and unappreciative, that all I do is sit

1246
00:58:47,440 --> 00:58:52,200
Speaker 2: home and eat all day, all because I asked the question.

1247
00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:55,880
Speaker 2: I don't feel like it's fair that I have more

1248
00:58:55,920 --> 00:59:00,280
Speaker 2: of the responsibility than when we had kids together. I've

1249
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:04,240
Speaker 2: repeatedly worked while pregnant without being pregnant. I go above

1250
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:06,280
Speaker 2: and beyond to make sure everyone in the house is straight.

1251
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:09,400
Speaker 2: I never have time to myself, let alone have anyone

1252
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:13,280
Speaker 2: do anything for me. But I'm selfish and unappreciative. I

1253
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:17,280
Speaker 2: don't want I don't know what to do, because, like

1254
00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:20,040
Speaker 2: y'all say, you shouldn't throw in the towel over stuff

1255
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:21,960
Speaker 2: that you can work through. I just want to know

1256
00:59:22,040 --> 00:59:24,440
Speaker 2: from y'all any advice you can give, you can offer,

1257
00:59:24,720 --> 00:59:26,400
Speaker 2: and I'm asking from both perspectives.

1258
00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:26,960
Speaker 1: That's easy.

1259
00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:30,000
Speaker 11: I love First of all, I love when it sounds

1260
00:59:30,040 --> 00:59:32,840
Speaker 11: like somebody wrote in right after the argument.

1261
00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:44,160
Speaker 12: You know they got quote she had mad quotes.

1262
00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:48,200
Speaker 1: Yes, this is easy, though, I'm gonna tell you exactly

1263
00:59:48,200 --> 00:59:51,320
Speaker 1: what it is. They miss each other. They got kids,

1264
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:53,200
Speaker 1: she got stuff to do, he got stuff to do.

1265
00:59:53,280 --> 00:59:55,760
Speaker 1: They both got work. They haven't figured out yet how

1266
00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:57,600
Speaker 1: to balance the fact that they miss each other and

1267
00:59:57,600 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 1: got things to do. So, you know what they often do.

1268
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:02,240
Speaker 1: They at what the other person is doing outside of

1269
01:00:02,320 --> 01:00:05,520
Speaker 1: work and kids and saying whatever that is isn't as

1270
01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:07,800
Speaker 1: difficult as what I gotta do or what you end

1271
01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:10,200
Speaker 1: up saying is I want you to walk in my

1272
01:00:10,320 --> 01:00:11,160
Speaker 1: shoes for the day.

1273
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:13,000
Speaker 4: So this is the thing I have to do.

1274
01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:14,520
Speaker 2: So let me see if you could do what I

1275
01:00:14,560 --> 01:00:16,440
Speaker 2: have to do, so you can understand how I feel

1276
01:00:16,840 --> 01:00:19,360
Speaker 2: doing the things that I do that you don't do.

1277
01:00:19,440 --> 01:00:21,600
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, That's exactly what it seems

1278
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:22,400
Speaker 4: like is happening here.

1279
01:00:22,720 --> 01:00:25,480
Speaker 1: I will say this though, if they both work, he

1280
01:00:25,560 --> 01:00:28,200
Speaker 1: works at nights and she works, right, it's always easy

1281
01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:31,680
Speaker 1: for you to realize what your partner isn't doing that

1282
01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:34,600
Speaker 1: you do, but it's not as easy for you to

1283
01:00:34,640 --> 01:00:37,560
Speaker 1: realize what they are doing that you don't do. You

1284
01:00:37,560 --> 01:00:39,200
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, And that goes both sides. That's

1285
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:42,880
Speaker 1: not gender specific. It's everybody goes through this. I do this,

1286
01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:44,960
Speaker 1: I do this, I do this, and the only thing

1287
01:00:45,040 --> 01:00:46,720
Speaker 1: you do is this. Because she even said that, she said,

1288
01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:48,640
Speaker 1: all you do is pick him up from school, And

1289
01:00:48,760 --> 01:00:50,280
Speaker 1: his mind is like, what do you mean all I

1290
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:51,840
Speaker 1: do is pick him up from school? What if I

1291
01:00:51,880 --> 01:00:53,640
Speaker 1: said to you, all you do is get them ready

1292
01:00:53,640 --> 01:00:54,240
Speaker 1: for some it's the.

1293
01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:55,800
Speaker 4: Whole sit at home and eat. What you got a

1294
01:00:55,800 --> 01:00:59,640
Speaker 4: problem with eating? That's what I'm saying, sit at home

1295
01:00:59,680 --> 01:01:01,920
Speaker 4: and eat. It felt like a little jab.

1296
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:04,640
Speaker 1: I think does she work? I don't think she works now.

1297
01:01:05,840 --> 01:01:08,680
Speaker 1: She don't work now because she said during my pregnancy I.

1298
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:10,120
Speaker 4: Worked, so maybe she's not.

1299
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:12,880
Speaker 1: Don't work right now. So in his mind, it's like,

1300
01:01:12,880 --> 01:01:15,120
Speaker 1: if I work at nights and you home all day.

1301
01:01:15,760 --> 01:01:17,520
Speaker 1: Now you're telling me I got to get up and

1302
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:20,040
Speaker 1: take him to school sometimes and go to work at night.

1303
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:22,600
Speaker 1: All you do is stay home all day. That's what

1304
01:01:22,640 --> 01:01:24,840
Speaker 1: in his mind is what he's saying. That doesn't mean

1305
01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:27,880
Speaker 1: it's fair, but that's exactly what he's saying. And in

1306
01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:29,960
Speaker 1: her mind. She's saying, I'm with the kids all day.

1307
01:01:30,080 --> 01:01:32,240
Speaker 1: You get a reprieve, you get to go to work

1308
01:01:32,240 --> 01:01:34,360
Speaker 1: and be with adults. I got to be home with

1309
01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:36,680
Speaker 1: the kids. The least you can do is pick them

1310
01:01:36,760 --> 01:01:38,560
Speaker 1: up from school because I wake up early. And you

1311
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:40,480
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. What they have to do is

1312
01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:43,120
Speaker 1: learn how to communicate not only their needs, but also say, hey,

1313
01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:45,160
Speaker 1: this is what I'm doing on my end. You might

1314
01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:46,960
Speaker 1: not be able to see what I'm doing, but there's

1315
01:01:46,960 --> 01:01:49,000
Speaker 1: a lot of work that goes over here. And if

1316
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:51,400
Speaker 1: they learn how to do that to each other, they'll

1317
01:01:51,440 --> 01:01:54,240
Speaker 1: they'll stop using those moments where they miss each other

1318
01:01:54,320 --> 01:01:56,360
Speaker 1: to pick at each other because we.

1319
01:01:56,320 --> 01:01:56,720
Speaker 4: Used to do that.

1320
01:01:57,080 --> 01:02:00,320
Speaker 1: About to say that, it's just.

1321
01:02:00,280 --> 01:02:01,840
Speaker 2: Like I've been thinking to myself, I'm like, if I

1322
01:02:01,920 --> 01:02:04,960
Speaker 2: only knew everything that's happening in my brain, fact.

1323
01:02:04,720 --> 01:02:08,040
Speaker 4: Who got what theme day? Who got what teacher got me?

1324
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:09,320
Speaker 4: And who gotta be where?

1325
01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:10,320
Speaker 1: When? Who? What?

1326
01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:14,160
Speaker 4: Bill got paid last? And like he doesn't know half

1327
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:17,480
Speaker 4: of the stuff. What's Katz's shoe size? What shoe size?

1328
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:18,440
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1329
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:20,400
Speaker 4: I don't know all the stuff in my brain.

1330
01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:23,360
Speaker 2: But then he'll be like, Okay, did you realize that

1331
01:02:23,680 --> 01:02:25,360
Speaker 2: this has to get done. And I've been doing this

1332
01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:27,200
Speaker 2: and I've been talking to this person, that person, the

1333
01:02:27,240 --> 01:02:29,520
Speaker 2: liquors Throat and Sean, and I'm just like, well, damn,

1334
01:02:29,560 --> 01:02:31,920
Speaker 2: we both have our gamuts and things that have to

1335
01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:32,439
Speaker 2: get done.

1336
01:02:32,880 --> 01:02:35,800
Speaker 1: Like to me, it's like, I don't know cash shoe sides,

1337
01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:39,560
Speaker 1: but if I die right, what happens? You know, I'm saying,

1338
01:02:39,600 --> 01:02:43,840
Speaker 1: God forbid, I'm knock gonna what what? Sometimes as a partner,

1339
01:02:43,880 --> 01:02:46,520
Speaker 1: you feel like that, it's like you've just belittled my

1340
01:02:46,600 --> 01:02:49,320
Speaker 1: purpose in this relationship by saying all you do is

1341
01:02:49,760 --> 01:02:52,000
Speaker 1: all they have to do is change their communication styles.

1342
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:54,880
Speaker 1: They'll realize that they love each other and it'll be over.

1343
01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:57,280
Speaker 1: There really is no beef there, Like, that's not beef.

1344
01:02:57,800 --> 01:03:00,120
Speaker 2: That's not beef, and you're just trying something different that

1345
01:03:00,160 --> 01:03:02,240
Speaker 2: they can try something different. That probably was just something

1346
01:03:02,280 --> 01:03:03,840
Speaker 2: eating at her for a me and she's like, well,

1347
01:03:03,920 --> 01:03:05,960
Speaker 2: let me see if he'll do this, and it's like

1348
01:03:06,040 --> 01:03:08,960
Speaker 2: ultimately make a date night that usually try to solve everything.

1349
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:11,280
Speaker 1: Can we point out something, though, can we just point

1350
01:03:11,320 --> 01:03:13,440
Speaker 1: out something. I understand that she's home, she's probably it's

1351
01:03:13,480 --> 01:03:18,600
Speaker 1: a newbornsorn child, but I think it's unfair though, sometimes

1352
01:03:18,600 --> 01:03:22,240
Speaker 1: when it's just like you do this, I do this,

1353
01:03:22,680 --> 01:03:26,240
Speaker 1: let's just switch. It's unfair for anybody to do that

1354
01:03:26,280 --> 01:03:28,800
Speaker 1: to somebody because you no longer like the role in

1355
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:31,280
Speaker 1: your relationship at the moment. You know what I'm saying,

1356
01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:33,640
Speaker 1: it's just like I don't like this, so let's just

1357
01:03:33,720 --> 01:03:35,440
Speaker 1: change yourself to do that. You can't do that to

1358
01:03:35,480 --> 01:03:38,200
Speaker 1: somebody when we have routines, because then what are you

1359
01:03:38,280 --> 01:03:40,360
Speaker 1: saying that you think my routine is easy? You know

1360
01:03:40,400 --> 01:03:44,240
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. If people learn how to not offend

1361
01:03:44,360 --> 01:03:47,640
Speaker 1: people by asking for a change, that's the biggest thing here.

1362
01:03:48,360 --> 01:03:51,360
Speaker 1: That routine may get monotonous every day, I gotta do it.

1363
01:03:51,520 --> 01:03:54,560
Speaker 1: What if she said, babe, how about you take them?

1364
01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:56,680
Speaker 1: How about you get up in the morning, I'll pick

1365
01:03:56,720 --> 01:03:59,400
Speaker 1: them up from school, because then it doesn't seem like

1366
01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:02,320
Speaker 1: it's not like you just take on more things.

1367
01:04:02,400 --> 01:04:04,600
Speaker 2: That's just you know what, morning routines are so fun

1368
01:04:04,640 --> 01:04:06,560
Speaker 2: taking our son. You should experience what it's like to

1369
01:04:06,560 --> 01:04:08,240
Speaker 2: take him to schools onill mornings and it's not just

1370
01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:09,160
Speaker 2: pick up or something.

1371
01:04:09,480 --> 01:04:12,120
Speaker 1: She don't got to lie, But I'm just saying, like.

1372
01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:14,520
Speaker 2: If that's what she enjoyed. Like, you're right, she may

1373
01:04:14,520 --> 01:04:15,840
Speaker 2: not enjoy it, but because.

1374
01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:17,400
Speaker 1: If she enjoyed it, she wouldn't be asking for the swift.

1375
01:04:17,440 --> 01:04:17,840
Speaker 6: That's true.

1376
01:04:18,040 --> 01:04:21,080
Speaker 1: I'm just saying in a way point. But even even

1377
01:04:21,120 --> 01:04:22,760
Speaker 1: if you're trying to prove the point, offer in a

1378
01:04:22,800 --> 01:04:26,360
Speaker 1: way where you don't dismiss your partner's role. Because when

1379
01:04:26,360 --> 01:04:28,800
Speaker 1: you say something like I get up every morning and

1380
01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:30,440
Speaker 1: all you do is pick him up to school, then

1381
01:04:30,440 --> 01:04:31,880
Speaker 1: he's going to say something like we all you do

1382
01:04:31,920 --> 01:04:33,960
Speaker 1: is sit at home and eat while I work at night.

1383
01:04:34,040 --> 01:04:35,520
Speaker 1: And then you say, well, why would he say that?

1384
01:04:35,560 --> 01:04:38,520
Speaker 1: When he said that, because you diminished his role and

1385
01:04:38,520 --> 01:04:39,080
Speaker 1: then don't make it.

1386
01:04:39,240 --> 01:04:42,320
Speaker 4: Eat his leftovers, it's given.

1387
01:04:43,640 --> 01:04:45,760
Speaker 2: Something like that the whole sit at home and eat

1388
01:04:45,880 --> 01:04:47,959
Speaker 2: or like does he feel like you like aren't taking

1389
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:49,760
Speaker 2: care of yourself and maybe gained a couple of pounds?

1390
01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:52,120
Speaker 4: Like what, what's the whole follow up with the whole?

1391
01:04:52,120 --> 01:04:52,320
Speaker 6: Why?

1392
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:53,960
Speaker 4: He was just like, you sit at home and eat

1393
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:54,400
Speaker 4: all day?

1394
01:04:54,520 --> 01:04:56,320
Speaker 1: I just told you why he said that. I just

1395
01:04:56,360 --> 01:04:59,760
Speaker 1: told you he said that because she diminished his role.

1396
01:05:00,080 --> 01:05:02,360
Speaker 1: All you do, he's the earner in the house, he

1397
01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:04,680
Speaker 1: works at nights. All you do is pick him up.

1398
01:05:05,320 --> 01:05:07,640
Speaker 1: That's all I do. Now, he got a jab. I'm

1399
01:05:07,680 --> 01:05:10,040
Speaker 1: not saying it's right, but he has to throw a

1400
01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:13,160
Speaker 1: jab and the jab ain't right. But you gotta admit

1401
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:15,760
Speaker 1: that she said something foul first. We're not gonna get

1402
01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:18,040
Speaker 1: for her past. You know what I'm saying, ladies, Because

1403
01:05:18,040 --> 01:05:19,520
Speaker 1: you know, Tripple ain't gonna ever point out when a

1404
01:05:19,560 --> 01:05:21,680
Speaker 1: woman do notthing wrong. She never that's not gonna happen,

1405
01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:24,480
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. He's like, Tripple is like,

1406
01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:25,479
Speaker 1: I still don't see what's wrong.

1407
01:05:28,560 --> 01:05:34,040
Speaker 11: There's another note, another note from our therapist. She says

1408
01:05:34,080 --> 01:05:37,400
Speaker 11: that anger is a secondary emotion, So we're talking about

1409
01:05:37,440 --> 01:05:39,520
Speaker 11: communicating better. You get mad at your partner, you got

1410
01:05:39,640 --> 01:05:41,480
Speaker 11: to think about what am I really feeling.

1411
01:05:41,720 --> 01:05:44,520
Speaker 1: Absolutely I agree with that. I agree with that because

1412
01:05:44,560 --> 01:05:46,600
Speaker 1: he's not right for responding that way. I'm not saying that,

1413
01:05:46,840 --> 01:05:49,120
Speaker 1: but we're not gonna make it seem like it wasn't.

1414
01:05:49,320 --> 01:05:53,000
Speaker 4: Follow up a jab punch out.

1415
01:05:53,240 --> 01:05:55,720
Speaker 1: All you do is eat as well. But especially to

1416
01:05:55,760 --> 01:05:58,520
Speaker 1: your wife who had a baby, like damn bro like

1417
01:05:58,600 --> 01:05:59,920
Speaker 1: you a damn.

1418
01:06:00,080 --> 01:06:03,280
Speaker 10: Have a job. That's an upper covers.

1419
01:06:03,840 --> 01:06:06,800
Speaker 1: Up. There's probably some issues going on.

1420
01:06:07,240 --> 01:06:08,120
Speaker 4: You're definitely there.

1421
01:06:08,240 --> 01:06:10,680
Speaker 13: I talked about it. I also assumed real quick. I

1422
01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:13,960
Speaker 13: also assume that he's home seeing her because he works

1423
01:06:14,040 --> 01:06:18,560
Speaker 13: at night seeing her, he sees her probably doing.

1424
01:06:18,760 --> 01:06:19,520
Speaker 1: It's a good point.

1425
01:06:19,720 --> 01:06:22,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a good point. Yeah, he's probably just like,

1426
01:06:22,920 --> 01:06:23,520
Speaker 4: look ahead eating.

1427
01:06:23,880 --> 01:06:25,280
Speaker 7: I judge, you said, you do what you.

1428
01:06:25,240 --> 01:06:28,800
Speaker 4: Want, work.

1429
01:06:30,320 --> 01:06:30,800
Speaker 10: Too much?

1430
01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:32,439
Speaker 1: Too much?

1431
01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:33,640
Speaker 4: Oh my god.

1432
01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:36,320
Speaker 2: All right, y'all, email us at the top of the year.

1433
01:06:36,520 --> 01:06:38,800
Speaker 2: Get those emails rolling in. Let us know what's happening.

1434
01:06:38,840 --> 01:06:41,200
Speaker 2: Even if it's post argument, fresh out the gate. Tripple

1435
01:06:41,240 --> 01:06:43,880
Speaker 2: wants to hear what happened, you know, put the exclamation

1436
01:06:43,920 --> 01:06:47,800
Speaker 2: points in because this person definitely Tomorrow definitely had you know,

1437
01:06:48,480 --> 01:06:52,240
Speaker 2: all caps, all the quotations and stuff like that.

1438
01:06:52,440 --> 01:06:55,960
Speaker 6: So we love to let me see tomorrow boyfriend ain't

1439
01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:58,000
Speaker 6: listening because.

1440
01:06:58,400 --> 01:07:02,320
Speaker 1: That so we writings is now.

1441
01:07:05,280 --> 01:07:09,880
Speaker 2: Hey, it's such and such Tomorrow's boyfriend with his listener letter. Well,

1442
01:07:09,960 --> 01:07:13,480
Speaker 2: if that's the case, email us bro vllisadvice at gmail

1443
01:07:13,560 --> 01:07:14,360
Speaker 2: dot com.

1444
01:07:14,400 --> 01:07:16,800
Speaker 1: That's t h E E L l I S A

1445
01:07:16,920 --> 01:07:19,720
Speaker 1: d v I c E at gmail dot com.

1446
01:07:19,760 --> 01:07:23,680
Speaker 2: All right, time for the moment of truth twenty twenty six, y'all.

1447
01:07:24,080 --> 01:07:25,120
Speaker 2: Anybody have a moment of truth.

1448
01:07:25,160 --> 01:07:26,120
Speaker 1: I got a moment of truth.

1449
01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:26,480
Speaker 4: Go ahead.

1450
01:07:26,480 --> 01:07:29,920
Speaker 1: It's very simple, man, when you're starting your new year's resolution,

1451
01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:32,840
Speaker 1: don't put a nu miracle limit on what you're going

1452
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:36,040
Speaker 1: to achieve. Focus on the progress, not the finished product.

1453
01:07:36,280 --> 01:07:36,560
Speaker 4: Yep.

1454
01:07:37,480 --> 01:07:39,880
Speaker 2: For me, twenty twenty six, I think coming off of

1455
01:07:39,920 --> 01:07:42,000
Speaker 2: a heavy twenty twenty five that ended for me, I

1456
01:07:42,040 --> 01:07:45,920
Speaker 2: want to say, just find pockets of joy. Find pockets

1457
01:07:45,920 --> 01:07:48,920
Speaker 2: of joy. Just this entire world right now is like,

1458
01:07:48,960 --> 01:07:50,680
Speaker 2: oh my goodness, it's a new year. Can we get

1459
01:07:50,720 --> 01:07:54,360
Speaker 2: a fresh start, a new outlook. As we do that, though,

1460
01:07:54,360 --> 01:07:56,520
Speaker 2: you may have some trickle down effect from twenty twenty

1461
01:07:56,520 --> 01:07:58,960
Speaker 2: five that follows you into twenty twenty six, because it's

1462
01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:01,920
Speaker 2: hard to just think that we can completely lock off

1463
01:08:01,960 --> 01:08:04,400
Speaker 2: everything that's happened in the past year because it's a

1464
01:08:04,440 --> 01:08:07,600
Speaker 2: new day, but it approached the new day trying to

1465
01:08:07,640 --> 01:08:10,800
Speaker 2: find joy where you can mm hm h.

1466
01:08:11,360 --> 01:08:12,960
Speaker 10: For me, I have the same one as a vow,

1467
01:08:13,040 --> 01:08:15,440
Speaker 10: but I got a little So what I do with

1468
01:08:16,439 --> 01:08:18,000
Speaker 10: my vision board at the end of the year, and

1469
01:08:18,120 --> 01:08:21,640
Speaker 10: I put it on my phone, so my phone's my

1470
01:08:21,760 --> 01:08:26,240
Speaker 10: lock screen is my vision board, and I followed I

1471
01:08:26,280 --> 01:08:29,080
Speaker 10: look at it all year long, you make it like, yeah,

1472
01:08:29,120 --> 01:08:31,280
Speaker 10: I created at the end of the year and keynote,

1473
01:08:31,840 --> 01:08:33,880
Speaker 10: just copy and paste pictures from Pinterests, shape it up

1474
01:08:33,920 --> 01:08:35,960
Speaker 10: how you want it, and then put it as my

1475
01:08:36,120 --> 01:08:38,200
Speaker 10: screen saver, and I make sure I see it every

1476
01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:40,640
Speaker 10: single day day and I don't change my like mid

1477
01:08:40,720 --> 01:08:43,000
Speaker 10: day midway through the year. For that same reason, like

1478
01:08:43,360 --> 01:08:46,200
Speaker 10: you might forget the goal that you initially set in January,

1479
01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:49,000
Speaker 10: you could look at it daily and keep going through

1480
01:08:49,200 --> 01:08:50,919
Speaker 10: even though through December.

1481
01:08:51,680 --> 01:08:56,719
Speaker 13: Yeah, my New Year's resolution is not resolution.

1482
01:08:56,800 --> 01:08:57,640
Speaker 7: What are we talking about here?

1483
01:08:58,960 --> 01:08:59,360
Speaker 4: The truth?

1484
01:09:00,120 --> 01:09:00,920
Speaker 1: Not stealing that one?

1485
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:07,120
Speaker 13: Well, first, first and foremost, Happy New Years to all

1486
01:09:07,160 --> 01:09:11,360
Speaker 13: of you guys and our viewers, Peace and safety, love

1487
01:09:11,400 --> 01:09:16,080
Speaker 13: and laughter. I want to say that I'm trying to

1488
01:09:16,080 --> 01:09:17,000
Speaker 13: buy my time here.

1489
01:09:21,000 --> 01:09:25,160
Speaker 1: That's not helping. I I'm sorry, I keep doing this.

1490
01:09:25,640 --> 01:09:32,160
Speaker 7: I'm sorry. Give grace Happy New Year.

1491
01:09:35,439 --> 01:09:37,240
Speaker 13: I had a whole one I listened to man go

1492
01:09:37,280 --> 01:09:38,840
Speaker 13: through so I'm like, yeah, that's kind of cool, man,

1493
01:09:38,880 --> 01:09:39,360
Speaker 13: I want to do.

1494
01:09:39,320 --> 01:09:44,920
Speaker 1: That vision boy, trust me, mastery bro.

1495
01:09:46,720 --> 01:09:48,800
Speaker 7: Oh my gosh, I'm sorry.

1496
01:09:50,840 --> 01:09:53,240
Speaker 11: So while we were sitting here, I just I wrote

1497
01:09:53,360 --> 01:09:57,560
Speaker 11: something original. That's my moment of truth and it's discipline.

1498
01:09:57,080 --> 01:10:03,160
Speaker 6: Over desire determines your destination. I just came up with that.

1499
01:10:03,240 --> 01:10:04,759
Speaker 1: I'm glad you're thinking outside the box.

1500
01:10:05,920 --> 01:10:08,120
Speaker 4: That's the fact. Outside the email box. I love it,

1501
01:10:08,560 --> 01:10:12,000
Speaker 4: not the email box. All right, be sure to find.

1502
01:10:11,760 --> 01:10:15,679
Speaker 13: Us actually get I hope everyone here in this room

1503
01:10:15,720 --> 01:10:18,240
Speaker 13: gets exactly what you guys want for the for the

1504
01:10:18,280 --> 01:10:18,679
Speaker 13: new year.

1505
01:10:18,920 --> 01:10:21,080
Speaker 7: That's what's up. That's really what my momentive truth is.

1506
01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:24,160
Speaker 1: And then pick up yourself.

1507
01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:27,360
Speaker 2: And then all right, y'all follow us and find us

1508
01:10:27,400 --> 01:10:31,920
Speaker 2: on Patreon, subscribe for the after show exclusive Ellis family content.

1509
01:10:32,280 --> 01:10:35,519
Speaker 2: That's where it's all going down still in this new year.

1510
01:10:35,920 --> 01:10:38,040
Speaker 2: And if you want to find us on social media,

1511
01:10:38,240 --> 01:10:40,479
Speaker 2: you can find us at Ellis ever After.

1512
01:10:40,640 --> 01:10:44,080
Speaker 13: I'm Kadina, I am and I Am I'm Underscore, and

1513
01:10:44,120 --> 01:10:46,799
Speaker 13: I'm Joshua Underscore, Dwayne, I'm.

1514
01:10:46,640 --> 01:10:48,680
Speaker 6: Trips the Cool, t R I b b Z the

1515
01:10:48,800 --> 01:10:49,759
Speaker 6: Cool on Everything.

1516
01:10:50,360 --> 01:10:52,760
Speaker 1: And if you're listening on Apple Podcast, be sure to rate,

1517
01:10:53,240 --> 01:10:59,120
Speaker 1: review and subscribe. Happy New Year, everybody. We love y'allass

1518
01:10:59,240 --> 01:11:02,240
Speaker 1: baby got.

1519
01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:07,800
Speaker 11: Ellis ever After is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted by

1520
01:11:07,920 --> 01:11:12,759
Speaker 11: Kadeen and Deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video Production

1521
01:11:12,920 --> 01:11:17,320
Speaker 11: by Joshua Duane and Matthew Ellis. Video editing by Lashawan.

1522
01:11:17,479 --> 01:12:14,080
Speaker 14: Rowe did.

1523
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Speaker 3: To give, to give nothing, to very plenty,