1 00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:07,200 Speaker 1: you need advice on a relationship's work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:11,160 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com 4 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 1: by clicking submit Strawberry Letter. That's all you have to do. Okay. 5 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,759 Speaker 1: We could be reading your letter live on the air, 6 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: just like we're going to read this one right here, 7 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:23,440 Speaker 1: right now, and you never know, it could be yours. 8 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,400 Speaker 1: This one right here could be Buckle up and hold 9 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:27,240 Speaker 1: on tight. We got it for you here. It is 10 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:32,440 Speaker 1: Drawberry Letter. Thank you nephew. Subject no more children please. 11 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:36,479 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been dating a very handsome and 12 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,839 Speaker 1: physically fit man for two years and we've reached a 13 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 1: roadblock in our relationship. He's never been married and he 14 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 1: doesn't have any children. When we met, he was glad 15 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,920 Speaker 1: I had children because he didn't want any. He loves 16 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,840 Speaker 1: my children and treats them well, so that made me 17 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 1: love him more. I had a child when I was 18 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 1: sixteen years old and another when I was seventeen. I 19 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 1: got married married when I was twenty one and had 20 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:05,280 Speaker 1: three children from that marriage. That marriage ended after my 21 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 1: husband cheated on me. I got remarried when I was 22 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 1: thirty three, and I had two children from that marriage. 23 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,720 Speaker 1: We didn't say we didn't stay married long because he 24 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,959 Speaker 1: was an alcoholic. I did a darn good job raising 25 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:20,960 Speaker 1: all of my children by myself with minimal child support. 26 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:24,119 Speaker 1: Now all I want is to enjoy life and get 27 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:27,399 Speaker 1: marriage right. This time, I had hoped that I met 28 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,600 Speaker 1: my soul mate, but I am starting to question it 29 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,240 Speaker 1: because he told me that he wants a son and 30 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:37,119 Speaker 1: a daughter by me. I do not want to throw 31 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:41,000 Speaker 1: away two years of dating over this issue and having 32 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:44,280 Speaker 1: kids with him. There's no getting through to him. I 33 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:46,640 Speaker 1: am afraid to tell him it's a definite no for 34 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,880 Speaker 1: me because I may lose him forever. I had a 35 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 1: big dinner at my house and I invited all of 36 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 1: my children and hopes that he would change his mind. 37 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 1: I am also a grandmother of three, so that is 38 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 1: an additional responsible. I am tired of raising children period. 39 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 1: I've considered getting a tubal ligation to make sure I 40 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,600 Speaker 1: will not get pregnant by him. Would it be selfish 41 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 1: of me to continue dating this man knowing that I 42 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 1: have no plans to have children with him. Well, what 43 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 1: did you say when he said he wanted more children. 44 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: Did you tell him right then that you didn't want 45 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:24,680 Speaker 1: anymore or are you, you know, stretching it out because 46 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:26,880 Speaker 1: you're afraid you might lose him if you tell him 47 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 1: the answer. Will it be selfish of you to continue 48 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 1: dating him? Yeah, it'll be selfish if you don't tell 49 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 1: him the truth. But it's not selfish of you not 50 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 1: to want any more kids. You already have seven and 51 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:42,919 Speaker 1: three grandkids. I mean, you said it yourself. You're done 52 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 1: seven kids, three grandkids, and you have the right to 53 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:49,480 Speaker 1: say no at this point because it's your body. And 54 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 1: you said you want to settle down, enjoy life and 55 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:55,000 Speaker 1: all that. And initially this guy said he didn't want 56 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 1: any children. You've been having children since you were sixteen. 57 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:04,640 Speaker 1: But already know this and it's okay. Your issue is 58 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,799 Speaker 1: going to be deciding what to do about You're very 59 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: handsome and physically fit man that now wants to have 60 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,799 Speaker 1: kids by you. Um, that's why it's good to check 61 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,240 Speaker 1: in when you're in these relationships, see if your feelings 62 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,400 Speaker 1: have changed. He's not having it. He wants kids, he 63 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:20,360 Speaker 1: wants to a boy and a girl. What are you 64 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 1: gonna do? I mean, you got to tell him the truth. 65 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 1: You gotta let him know. And if you lose him, 66 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:31,800 Speaker 1: that's the risk you're taking. That's it, Steve, wrong person 67 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: to ask this question too, the subject no more children please. 68 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 1: I can't tell you how many times I said that. 69 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 1: I said it yesterday, what as recently as yesterday and yesterday? 70 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,440 Speaker 1: And I can't even have them all kids don't even 71 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 1: want them. I don't even care. I really, I really 72 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 1: want some, both grandkids because I need these boys to 73 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:01,000 Speaker 1: have some boys so I can in my blood line. 74 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 1: I need he winting and brought her to have some 75 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 1: boys so I can keep his name in like Jason 76 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 1: already got two. I need them boys to have boys. 77 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,760 Speaker 1: My daughter got a son, but his last name is 78 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:17,039 Speaker 1: her husband's last name, because I don't see why he 79 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:22,680 Speaker 1: can't have my dad dad's last name. Oh I know 80 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:31,839 Speaker 1: I'm wrong. Oh I'm wrong, Yeah, all the way wrong, 81 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:35,479 Speaker 1: like two left shoes. Yes, but it was just something 82 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:40,480 Speaker 1: I wanted. This woman's been dating this very hampsome, physically 83 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,000 Speaker 1: fit man for two years named Visha. Roadblock in their 84 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 1: relationship because the guy has never been married, he don't 85 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 1: got no kids, and when he met he said he's 86 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:51,480 Speaker 1: glad she had children because he didn't want any. He 87 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:55,040 Speaker 1: loves my children, treat them well, so they made me 88 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:59,040 Speaker 1: love him even more. Oh, such a good lad. I 89 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:02,919 Speaker 1: had a child when I was sixteen. Then I had 90 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:06,880 Speaker 1: another one when I was seventeen. Okay, we need to 91 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,840 Speaker 1: let her to start to slow at this point, had 92 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:14,240 Speaker 1: one in sixteen one and seventeen. I'm good. Storyline looking good. 93 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 1: I got married when I was twenty one, had three 94 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:23,719 Speaker 1: more children from that marriage. Did you not hit me? Go? Yes? 95 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:28,280 Speaker 1: At sixteen seventeen. Well, now we got five and that 96 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 1: marriage ended because your husband cheated on you. He didn't 97 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:34,000 Speaker 1: really cheat on you. He was just out somewhere taking 98 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 1: a break from the kids. He knew it, and something 99 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:42,320 Speaker 1: happened that really wasn't cheating. I was just getting out 100 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:44,600 Speaker 1: the house, away from the kids, and all the other 101 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 1: house he could go to was his other lady's house. 102 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 1: He was just over some chick's house where he could 103 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:55,599 Speaker 1: watch the game. Yeah, that marriage ended. My husband cheated 104 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 1: on me. I got remarried when I was thirty three, 105 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:04,600 Speaker 1: and I had two kids from that marriage. Lord, ha, 106 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:12,039 Speaker 1: mercy you find Yeah, I think I'm hoping because they 107 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 1: ain't no ugly person, find to cook miss me of 108 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,720 Speaker 1: all this, I'm just gonna Bess be a hunted with you, 109 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 1: hang out an ugly person, and and I'm accepting all this. 110 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:29,800 Speaker 1: All right, Look, you got to be mind blowing beautiful. 111 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:33,600 Speaker 1: Hold that thought. Okay, we'll have her no way up. 112 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 1: Part two. Holy d Holy baby daddy. I'm Steven respond 113 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,800 Speaker 1: Who is these kids? I can't keep over? These birthdays? 114 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 1: To the strawberry letters coming up at twenty three minutes 115 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 1: after subject today, no more children please. We'll get back 116 00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:55,160 Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening to Steve Morning Show. 117 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,320 Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter, 118 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,840 Speaker 1: the subject no more Chill. Well, I told you I'm 119 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 1: the wrong person to ask for help with just no 120 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 1: more children please. I feel you anyway. She'd been dating 121 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:13,120 Speaker 1: this handsome man physically fifth for two years now. We've 122 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 1: reached a roadblock in their relationship because he wants kids 123 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 1: and said that he doesn't want kids. And when they met, 124 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,120 Speaker 1: he said, that's great because she had children because he 125 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,160 Speaker 1: didn't want any. So he loves my children, treat them well, 126 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 1: and they made me love me more. I had a 127 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 1: child when I was sixteen years old, and I had 128 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 1: another one when I was seventeen burt when he started 129 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:33,920 Speaker 1: pumping on the breaks. Right now, you might not have 130 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 1: to stop the car, but she definitely need to be 131 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 1: pumping the break to be pumping. I got married when 132 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 1: I was twenty one. I had three children out of 133 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 1: that marriage. Okay, all right now, now we're up into 134 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 1: that zone. We got five now. And then that marriage 135 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,320 Speaker 1: ended after my husband cheated on I told you he 136 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,040 Speaker 1: didn't cheat on you. He was just going somewhere to 137 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:51,960 Speaker 1: get away from the kids. And it happened to be 138 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 1: a woman sitting over there and they started talking. One 139 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 1: thing led to another. He really wasn't cheating on you, 140 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 1: he was just getting out the house. That marriage ended 141 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,800 Speaker 1: after my husband cheated on me. I got remarried when 142 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,560 Speaker 1: I was thirty three, and I had two more kids 143 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 1: out of that manage. And we didn't stay together long 144 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:10,520 Speaker 1: because he was an alcoholic man. It wasn't because he 145 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:13,440 Speaker 1: just wanted to drink, but all the damn kids that 146 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 1: drove his ass to drink. So every man you had 147 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 1: with the problems causing them damn kids, I'm gonna just 148 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 1: tell you that right now. I'm telling you right now. 149 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 1: The first man cheated on you because he's trying to 150 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,600 Speaker 1: get out of the house and them five kids. Then 151 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 1: you got married to another man. He had two more. 152 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 1: Now he became an alcoholic. Some kids to make your 153 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:38,360 Speaker 1: ass drink. Yeah, because she find this hell. Let me 154 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,200 Speaker 1: tell you something. This girl right here, the only way 155 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 1: this is working in this letter, this woman is fine 156 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:48,680 Speaker 1: as hell. Okay, because that's the only way you take 157 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,679 Speaker 1: it up. With all this here. He even tried to 158 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 1: drink his way through this situation. I'm gonna stay with her. 159 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,760 Speaker 1: I'm gonna just get fulled every day to see if 160 00:08:55,800 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 1: I ain't get there. Oh boysh you she out there 161 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:05,800 Speaker 1: doing it. Okay. We didn't stay married long because he 162 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:09,439 Speaker 1: was an alcoholic. I gotta darn good I did. I 163 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,439 Speaker 1: did a damn good job raising all my children by 164 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:18,199 Speaker 1: myself with minimal child support. Congratulations. Most women deserve a 165 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,600 Speaker 1: parade because they now. All I want is to enjoy 166 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:25,360 Speaker 1: life and getting marriage right this time. I had hoped 167 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,480 Speaker 1: that I met my soul mate, but I'm starting to 168 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 1: question it because he told me that he wants a 169 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:36,319 Speaker 1: son and a daughter by me. Well, he probably saying 170 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:41,440 Speaker 1: by you, because you're good at it. You're showing potentially 171 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:45,880 Speaker 1: being a great mother. And you still find and I 172 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:51,319 Speaker 1: want him buy you boy and a girl. Well, you 173 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,199 Speaker 1: can guaranteeing one of them. But then we were like 174 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:57,040 Speaker 1: we had we had number eight. Then he wants one 175 00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:01,280 Speaker 1: mode as nine nine. Are you off into that Nick 176 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:06,520 Speaker 1: Cannon range? Lord? But at least the difference between is 177 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:10,559 Speaker 1: all easy yours. I'm not knocking women with children, because 178 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:13,600 Speaker 1: I've done that before. It's nothing wrong with having children. 179 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,679 Speaker 1: And I admire men who take on the responsibility that 180 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,439 Speaker 1: other men have walked away from. So that's not what 181 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:22,480 Speaker 1: this letter is about. This letter about it, Lord, how 182 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:27,440 Speaker 1: fine issue? What it's about? Lord? God? I money, how 183 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,280 Speaker 1: fine issue? This is the one Strawberry letter where we 184 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:33,760 Speaker 1: needed a photo to accompany the letter. Because you have 185 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 1: got to be one bad bad somebody or else you 186 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 1: toe up from the flow up and the men you 187 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:45,679 Speaker 1: dating this toe up even more. That's the charge. But 188 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:50,679 Speaker 1: I'm telling you right now she finds. Yeah, there's no 189 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:53,040 Speaker 1: getting through to him. I'm afraid if I tell him, 190 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:55,680 Speaker 1: it's definitely no for me, because I may lose him forever. 191 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:00,640 Speaker 1: I had a big dinner at my house, invited all 192 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:04,400 Speaker 1: of my children in hopes that he would change his mind. 193 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:09,920 Speaker 1: I'm also a grandmother three, that's an additional responsibility, and 194 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:14,960 Speaker 1: I'm tired of raising children. You got to yeah, hell, 195 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 1: your two husbands was tired to the one that cheated 196 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:23,120 Speaker 1: and the one that drank himself out of him. I've 197 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:31,560 Speaker 1: considered getting too. I'm considered getting two bologation. I don't 198 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 1: know exactly what that is. I would consider, and I 199 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:42,600 Speaker 1: don't want to sound crasp or anything, but I would 200 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 1: after seven kids, I would consider just getting myself closed 201 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 1: up same side almost. I mean, Y mean, I would 202 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:02,160 Speaker 1: require that all of my men get closed. Oh hey, 203 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 1: put a bag on your side and pete out away. 204 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,080 Speaker 1: I don't want nothing. Wow, we don't want nothing coming 205 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:15,719 Speaker 1: out of him? Nothing? Oh god, are you insane? I 206 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 1: don't thinking about my two times? Make sure I'll not 207 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,120 Speaker 1: get pregnant by him. Would it be selfish for me 208 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,439 Speaker 1: to continue dating this man? Know that I have no 209 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 1: plans for having children with him. I mean, you can 210 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 1: if you tell him he's still gonna date you, though, 211 00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 1: because you find that's what the letter mercy you experienced. 212 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,080 Speaker 1: You're doing some things where these men can't even walk away. 213 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:39,199 Speaker 1: Not so you had one that cheated one on crack, 214 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 1: but this one the state probably gonna have to be 215 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:46,880 Speaker 1: in meth. All right. That's it. That's it, the first one. 216 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 1: Another one left for alcoholic. This one gonna have to 217 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 1: at least be men. Today's Letter on Instagram at Steve 218 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 1: Harvey FM and check out the Strawberry Letter podcasts as well. 219 00:12:56,400 --> 00:13:00,680 Speaker 1: That's fine. Coming up next to this, Junior, and Junior 220 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:04,240 Speaker 1: is requesting instead of sports talk, some Merril advice from you, Steve. 221 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:08,680 Speaker 1: We'll get into that right. You're listening to the Steve 222 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:09,760 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show