WEBVTT - Ep 281: Why Kids Need to Struggle 

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, hey, hey, we're back. We're black, We're Brown Ambition.

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome black Man Drone. Hello.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what I was just thinking about when you

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<v Speaker 2>were singing us in is whatever happened to that old

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<v Speaker 2>Brown Ambition intro from our original first ever Brown Ambition episode,

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<v Speaker 2>which I actually I dove into the vault of BA episodes.

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<v Speaker 2>It was kind of like finding an old yearbook photo

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<v Speaker 2>or like awkward, just like reading your old your old

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<v Speaker 2>diary from high school is kind of what it felt like.

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<v Speaker 2>And on that first Brown Ambition episode, maybe I was

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<v Speaker 2>just feeling nostalgic because we're coming up on our six

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<v Speaker 2>year but we had the cutest little intro and I

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<v Speaker 2>kind of want to bring it back.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I heard it and I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>what was Mandy talking about?

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<v Speaker 2>You mean the song we did like a I'm Tiffany,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Mandy and this is Brian Ambition. We were all

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<v Speaker 2>in sync.

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<v Speaker 1>We wrote a little script, Oh did we well? O?

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<v Speaker 1>Way we could try it. We could let people. We

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<v Speaker 1>can ask the people if they.

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<v Speaker 2>Like it, we can ask anyway. It just brought me

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<v Speaker 2>back where we were so young that I.

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<v Speaker 1>Do remember, like I did listen because you told me

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<v Speaker 1>to listen to it. So I listened. I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>all we were all talking about I was I think

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<v Speaker 1>I said like my boyfriend, which I was like, oh yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you said the same, and you were like, I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>sure if I would have kids right now. I was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>look at baby Manager and Tiffany.

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<v Speaker 2>Our first episode was called something about baby Limbo.

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<v Speaker 1>We were both we were yeah so much. Remember. I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, Mandy, where did you get good underwear from?

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<v Speaker 1>I remember that Pannies. Yes, your panny confession. You're like, girl,

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<v Speaker 1>you can go to Marshalls and get good under I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, this is true.

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<v Speaker 2>No, no, I don't actually recommend Marshals. No, no, no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't like underwear that lots of peoples both yeah, no, no, no, Fanny,

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<v Speaker 2>you know. Ah man, So what's I'm actually in Saint

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<v Speaker 2>Louis right now. I survived a fifteen hour which Google

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<v Speaker 2>Map said fifteen hour. But what I came to find

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<v Speaker 2>out is that to get to travel that fifteen hour distance,

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<v Speaker 2>it takes like twenty five hours in toddler when you

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<v Speaker 2>have a toddler in the car. When you have a

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<v Speaker 2>toddler in a tesla, the double teas Toddler in Tesla.

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<v Speaker 2>Tesla means you have to stop to charge every two hours,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm not even gonna play. It's a little inconvenient.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like if we had a gas car, we

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<v Speaker 2>wouldn't have had to stop every every two hours. But

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<v Speaker 2>of course, like Husby has this fancy app that tells

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<v Speaker 2>him exactly how much to charge. So it wasn't like

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<v Speaker 2>we're gonna go fill up the tank at the Tesla charge.

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<v Speaker 2>You need to like these charging stations along the way.

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<v Speaker 2>You have to like plan your trip that way. But

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<v Speaker 2>it was like he was very specific, as we're going

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<v Speaker 2>to stop for fifteen minutes here to get a twenty

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<v Speaker 2>percent you know boost, and then we're going to really

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<v Speaker 2>fill up, you know, ninety minutes down the road. We're

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<v Speaker 2>gonna stay here for twenty five minutes to get the

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<v Speaker 2>full one hundred percent. And it was just so I swear,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, but look, we survived. He's like, we're here,

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<v Speaker 2>marriage is intact, the baby's alive, Rio is alive. Have

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<v Speaker 2>you ever done a road trip that long before?

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<v Speaker 1>I had, well, not not fifteen hours, but me and

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<v Speaker 1>my husband and Supergirl we drove to Roanoke, Virginia for

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<v Speaker 1>his best friend's wedding. Let's just say we got there

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<v Speaker 1>and I immediately almost got back in the Carter's robe

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<v Speaker 1>home because the nerve he was working. Literally, I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>he said something. I drove and he said something. I

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<v Speaker 1>tell you, Mandy. If it had not been a nine

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<v Speaker 1>hour drive, I was gonna get myself back in that car.

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<v Speaker 1>But I was like, were you gonna call Tiffany? And

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, because I said what, Okay, you know what?

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<v Speaker 1>And I was really thinking about it. I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>can I uber that far? Should I get on a plane?

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<v Speaker 2>I was gonna do anything. I was so pissed, but

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<v Speaker 2>I was so I had. I had such a hard

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<v Speaker 2>time sleeping the night before our trip because I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know if we're going to survive this road trip.

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<v Speaker 2>And I don't know why I said yes to this,

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<v Speaker 2>And I even post on ig asking people for their tips,

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<v Speaker 2>and I got a lot of like, girl, you in trouble.

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<v Speaker 2>I have this to don't.

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<v Speaker 1>I would have to say, honestly, the actual driving was

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<v Speaker 1>actually good. The problem was that I trusted him to

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<v Speaker 1>book the hotel, which basically, I mean, it's not it's

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<v Speaker 1>not a far reach to say this is the motel

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<v Speaker 1>where the Ladies of the Night bring their gentlemen callers literally, Mandy,

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<v Speaker 1>we drove up and there was someone crawling out of

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<v Speaker 1>the window at the motel. I looked at him, like

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<v Speaker 1>after nine hours of driving because he couldn't drive because

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<v Speaker 1>just like you know, like Superman had like an anurism

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<v Speaker 1>years ago and like, and so it affected his ability

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<v Speaker 1>to drive a long distances. So I drove the whole time.

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<v Speaker 1>So I pull up. We see someone crawling out of

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<v Speaker 1>a window of this place that looks like death warmed over.

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<v Speaker 2>Were they injured?

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<v Speaker 1>No, it was clearly like, hey, I finished doing whatever

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<v Speaker 1>I do here and I don't want to walk through

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<v Speaker 1>the front. And so we got in. I come in

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, wait a minute. The room. I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>even take off my coat. The bed. I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>so there's one bed. Meanwhile, Supergirl, even though at the

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<v Speaker 1>time she was maybe like ten or eleven, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>she's really tall. Because he's sick, sick, So it was

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<v Speaker 1>like three adults in one bed. And I'm like, how

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<v Speaker 1>is this. I don't know. When I tell you, Mandy,

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<v Speaker 1>it was you like we were sleeping in the hallway,

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<v Speaker 1>because you can you can hear someone coughing in the hallway.

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<v Speaker 1>It was just I just remember thinking, like and I said,

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<v Speaker 1>did you check the reviews?

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<v Speaker 2>So he was like, I.

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<v Speaker 1>Guess he was embarrassed, so he got mad. I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>I know you. I know you're not mad at me

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<v Speaker 1>because you got us in the Roach motel. So I

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<v Speaker 1>was so pissed because one out of draw nine hours

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<v Speaker 1>two you got into the Roach motel. Thankfully, his best

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<v Speaker 1>friend on Walie, his wife, like she was super like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, smart, and she came was like what the hell,

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<v Speaker 1>I said, girl, I don't even She was like, you

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<v Speaker 1>know what, let me let me make a phone call.

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<v Speaker 1>Within two minutes she had us in a really nice hotel,

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<v Speaker 1>like two beds and like yeah. So it was just

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<v Speaker 1>but when I tell you, I was this close to

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<v Speaker 1>like being like you know what, I'm driving back, but

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<v Speaker 1>how I don't have nine more hours in me? But yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>So later he apologized, was like I was embarrassed. I'm sorry.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm all first sorting things priced lowest to highest, but

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<v Speaker 2>when it comes to hotels, it's gotta be sort by reviews.

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<v Speaker 2>You can't.

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<v Speaker 1>We Lowes Howard Johnson, Sir, we could do it, Howard Johnson.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, it doesn't have to be fancy, but red

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<v Speaker 1>ru Literally the ladies at the night were looking at

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<v Speaker 1>us like a family.

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<v Speaker 2>But they're looking at Supergirl like. I mean, I was like, wait,

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<v Speaker 2>what's going on here? But oh my god, steps work

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<v Speaker 2>is work wherever you want, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>You see what we did for only fans obviously.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, they clearly listened to Brown ambition and they

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<v Speaker 2>want to be feeling our outrage. They were like, we

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<v Speaker 2>don't want to be Popeyes without the business, you see,

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<v Speaker 2>without the chickens.

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<v Speaker 1>No, totally, yeah, I mean that is I mean, I

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<v Speaker 1>guess they're going to figure that out letting, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>allowing for that to continue. And here's the thing. Everyone's

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<v Speaker 1>allowed to set a boundary. If you said on this platform,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want certain types of you know, like only

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<v Speaker 1>fans accounts. That's great, but it just feels very predatory

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<v Speaker 1>to like build your business off the back of a

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<v Speaker 1>specific type of account and then once you've grown your

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<v Speaker 1>name to kick them off, you know, for whatever reason

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<v Speaker 1>that they are claiming.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just like banning black choreographers.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, so it's just.

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<v Speaker 2>Like hmm, yes, and he's going to create the vice content.

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<v Speaker 1>Exactly who were you steal from?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>Wait did I say that so randomly? So this weekend?

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<v Speaker 1>Have you heard of invest Fest?

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<v Speaker 2>I have because I follow the those those gentlemen of

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<v Speaker 2>Earn Your Leisure.

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<v Speaker 1>Leisure No so had invited me, but you know, like

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<v Speaker 1>a true man, he gave me like two days notice.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh, okay, no, I cannot. I cannot

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<v Speaker 1>abandon my family in such a short time. But no,

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<v Speaker 1>it looks so invests Best. If you guys are not

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<v Speaker 1>familiar it is. It was a I want to say,

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<v Speaker 1>three day weekend conference that was launched their very first

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<v Speaker 1>one by Earning Your Leisure. We've had them on the show.

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<v Speaker 1>We've been on their show, and Earn Your Leisure is

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<v Speaker 1>Rashad and Troy and they have a series of podcasts,

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<v Speaker 1>but their main podcast is like Earn Your Leisure. And

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<v Speaker 1>so they had like basically their first conference, which I

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<v Speaker 1>because you already know we have the conference that we

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<v Speaker 1>no longer talk about. Yes, I was giddy because I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, oh, now you're fake diversity ploy conference. We

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<v Speaker 1>don't talk about what you're gonna do because they were

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<v Speaker 1>actually brown and black people here like at invest Best

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<v Speaker 1>that you did not try to plant to make it

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<v Speaker 1>look like, hey, look we've got some browns in the mix.

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<v Speaker 1>But it looked honestly amazing. One of my mentees went, so,

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<v Speaker 1>she I haven't spoken to her yet, but it looked

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<v Speaker 1>like day one they had like a lot of like

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<v Speaker 1>Day one looked like they had a like musical performances, right,

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<v Speaker 1>so I think like Neo performed fabulous, I think performed,

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<v Speaker 1>and a bunch of other like musical performances they won,

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<v Speaker 1>I know. And then the other two days were like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, workshops. I don't know if it was workshops,

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<v Speaker 1>but I saw definitely like like Ryan Leslie spoke on

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<v Speaker 1>stage and all these amazing like speakers that they had.

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<v Speaker 1>So I don't know if they had workshops, but it's

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<v Speaker 1>everything sold out. The vendor space sold down, the spaces

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<v Speaker 1>like you know, like in person spaces sold that. It

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<v Speaker 1>looked amazing. What really impressed me about INVESTMST one It

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<v Speaker 1>didn't look like nob the first time out. You know

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<v Speaker 1>how when you first do a conference, you know it's

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<v Speaker 1>a little yanky yanky because you know you're still learning. No,

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<v Speaker 1>it looked like year ten I had like a judging by,

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<v Speaker 1>like the pictures and the video and things like that.

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<v Speaker 1>It looked amay zing and from what I understand, actually,

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<v Speaker 1>I was going to reach out to Ian, who's like

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<v Speaker 1>one of their like, you know, he's on one of

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<v Speaker 1>their podcasts they they do together called market Mondays. I

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<v Speaker 1>saw people saying, I can't believe you guys planned this

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<v Speaker 1>in two months, and I wanted to hit him and

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<v Speaker 1>be like, y'all didn't play this in two months, did you?

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<v Speaker 1>Because it looked so tight, professional like, even like the

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<v Speaker 1>tags that people had, like their your VIP tax, everything

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<v Speaker 1>was branded beautifully, and I'm like, I know, y'all didn't

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<v Speaker 1>do this in two months. It looked amazing, And I

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<v Speaker 1>just want to give, you know, kudos to the guys

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<v Speaker 1>for creating a very inclusive financial I don't even know

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<v Speaker 1>if you can call financial. It just it looks like

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<v Speaker 1>nothing I had ever seen, you know, like conference that

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<v Speaker 1>really I think it's just super smart. Remember that time

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<v Speaker 1>you came to the very very first Literature Academy after

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<v Speaker 1>party and we did the wobble and you were like,

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<v Speaker 1>I've never thought I could do the wobble at like

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<v Speaker 1>a financial part. Now, obviously it's not the same as

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<v Speaker 1>what they're doing. But it's just as like, I just

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<v Speaker 1>love the fact that financial education is being opened up

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<v Speaker 1>to and accessible to those who have been left out

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<v Speaker 1>through benign neglect or on purpose. And so just koodle.

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<v Speaker 1>So if you're not familiar with invest Fest, I believe

0:11:28.880 --> 0:11:31.800
<v Speaker 1>invest Fest has the social media like page, but then

0:11:31.800 --> 0:11:33.959
<v Speaker 1>you can also go to investfest dot com just to

0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:35.760
<v Speaker 1>see what we're talking about. I don't know if you

0:11:35.760 --> 0:11:37.680
<v Speaker 1>can still buy like virtual tickets, but they had like

0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:39.920
<v Speaker 1>virtual tickets for like ninety nine bucks if you want

0:11:39.920 --> 0:11:40.760
<v Speaker 1>to watch any of the.

0:11:40.960 --> 0:11:44.360
<v Speaker 2>Maybe it was in two months because like I didn't

0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:47.560
<v Speaker 2>know about it until me either, so I was like, oh,

0:11:47.600 --> 0:11:52.280
<v Speaker 2>that looked fun. Yeah, wow, that's really impressive, though, shout

0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:54.280
<v Speaker 2>out to them. I feel like we should repost that episode.

0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:56.360
<v Speaker 2>It was like a couple months ago we had we

0:11:56.440 --> 0:12:04.160
<v Speaker 2>had Roy Sean just beaves them a celebrity couple or Tricia.

0:12:05.320 --> 0:12:07.160
<v Speaker 1>And and Ian was a.

0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:10.160
<v Speaker 2>Surprise guest on us on that episode. Well, shout out

0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:11.760
<v Speaker 2>to them. And it also feels good because I feel

0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:16.080
<v Speaker 2>like there was a certain class of groundbreakers in black

0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:21.079
<v Speaker 2>and brown financial influencer space who who kind of had

0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:23.439
<v Speaker 2>to first break the door open for us to be

0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:28.319
<v Speaker 2>accepted into very white, you know, traditional spaces, and now

0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:31.720
<v Speaker 2>like it feels as if, well, if that we're going

0:12:31.800 --> 0:12:34.920
<v Speaker 2>to create our own space, you know, and then there

0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:38.680
<v Speaker 2>is no breaking down. It's just I feel like there's

0:12:38.800 --> 0:12:42.640
<v Speaker 2>like there often there's a point when it's sort of

0:12:42.760 --> 0:12:47.040
<v Speaker 2>it almost seems scary to to try to enter into

0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:50.360
<v Speaker 2>or necessary rather not scary, but necessary to try to

0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:53.920
<v Speaker 2>enter into a white space first and to be accepted,

0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:57.960
<v Speaker 2>like we first in order to even have in order

0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:00.920
<v Speaker 2>for us to even have our influence or to have authority,

0:13:01.080 --> 0:13:06.400
<v Speaker 2>to to lend authority to our name and like, you know, credibility,

0:13:06.679 --> 0:13:08.440
<v Speaker 2>you have to be accepted and show that you've been

0:13:08.520 --> 0:13:12.920
<v Speaker 2>accepted into these white spaces. And that does not seem

0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:16.200
<v Speaker 2>to be the case anymore. It's almost as if now

0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:20.280
<v Speaker 2>it's becoming more acceptable for us to just be ourselves

0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:23.319
<v Speaker 2>and to show that our audiences accept us and their

0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:27.640
<v Speaker 2>tastes and their opinions are like, there is credence to

0:13:27.720 --> 0:13:30.400
<v Speaker 2>that there, you know, it does give us credibility. And

0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:32.839
<v Speaker 2>I just think that that's that's really what the e

0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:35.319
<v Speaker 2>Weil e wil e y l ey.

0:13:37.040 --> 0:13:39.720
<v Speaker 1>Sharing are doing that. But you know, but to your point,

0:13:39.880 --> 0:13:44.240
<v Speaker 1>like that couldn't happen without the linettes. You no, the

0:13:45.480 --> 0:13:47.480
<v Speaker 1>you know, because the truth of the matter is, oh,

0:13:47.640 --> 0:13:49.600
<v Speaker 1>thank you, but no, honestly, the truth of the matter

0:13:49.840 --> 0:13:53.920
<v Speaker 1>is is that without that, sometimes even your own people

0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:58.400
<v Speaker 1>don't find like you, like, you know, because unless you

0:13:58.480 --> 0:14:01.040
<v Speaker 1>were on the Today showgum more in America these other things,

0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:03.600
<v Speaker 1>sometimes even black and brown people were like, I don't

0:14:03.600 --> 0:14:06.360
<v Speaker 1>know because literally someone people would write in my comments

0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:08.880
<v Speaker 1>just saw you on the real now I know you're real,

0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:13.360
<v Speaker 1>you know, or just saw you on whatever. And so that,

0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:15.839
<v Speaker 1>you know, breaking open. And I love the fact that

0:14:16.000 --> 0:14:18.240
<v Speaker 1>we no longer have to go that route anymore. But

0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:21.680
<v Speaker 1>certainly in the beginning, it wasn't just like looking to

0:14:21.760 --> 0:14:25.320
<v Speaker 1>be accepted by white audiences. So white audience could accept

0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:27.840
<v Speaker 1>white audiences could accept us. It was so even black

0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:30.600
<v Speaker 1>and brown audiences could accept and trust us. And so

0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:34.200
<v Speaker 1>it just feels really good to see this wide range

0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:37.840
<v Speaker 1>that people are represented that were it wasn't so before.

0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:40.280
<v Speaker 1>And so I'm just like, go ahead, y'all, like I

0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:42.720
<v Speaker 1>can't imagine, I am out of work that it's taken,

0:14:43.360 --> 0:14:45.360
<v Speaker 1>and it just what it's going to do now is

0:14:45.400 --> 0:14:47.640
<v Speaker 1>that they've opened the door for the next the next

0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:50.560
<v Speaker 1>crop of creators to show up exactly as they are,

0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:53.160
<v Speaker 1>exactly how they are, and knowing that there's going to

0:14:53.160 --> 0:14:54.960
<v Speaker 1>be an audience that's going to embrace them. So like,

0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:57.240
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I think that we're groundbreakers. Come on, brown ambition.

0:14:57.600 --> 0:15:00.840
<v Speaker 1>There was no black brown financial pocket. We've been in

0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:02.720
<v Speaker 1>the game six years. I know.

0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:06.480
<v Speaker 2>We are just like the pod fairy god grandmother.

0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:11.600
<v Speaker 3>Oh gs, yes, ogs, oh man, I was using libs

0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:17.320
<v Speaker 3>day it was garage banned twelve point oh.

0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:25.400
<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, oh yeah, so, oh my gosh.

0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:29.320
<v Speaker 2>So so there are some shirtless construction men across the way.

0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:31.840
<v Speaker 2>I didn't know that they actually did that outside of

0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:35.280
<v Speaker 2>like Sex and the City and calendars. But they really

0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:38.000
<v Speaker 2>are building a whole house with barely any clothes on it,

0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:39.680
<v Speaker 2>just from my mom's house.

0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:46.520
<v Speaker 1>You're like, oh, okay, okay, this is a random twist.

0:15:46.600 --> 0:15:51.360
<v Speaker 1>So Superman called me today because Supergirl, Supergirl, Supergirl, So

0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:54.040
<v Speaker 1>y'all know, like I am helping to raise a teen

0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:56.320
<v Speaker 1>and remember that time she acted up and we had

0:15:56.360 --> 0:15:57.960
<v Speaker 1>to take the door off her office.

0:15:58.440 --> 0:16:03.360
<v Speaker 2>My favorite Supergirl and birds. So what did the note say?

0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:05.600
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, it said, so those of you who

0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:08.720
<v Speaker 1>don't know a little backstory. Yeah, Supergirls my stepdaughter, and

0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:10.960
<v Speaker 1>you know, just like most kids, she's actually a really

0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:13.560
<v Speaker 1>good kid, but sometimes, you know, she's a little beside herself,

0:16:13.800 --> 0:16:16.200
<v Speaker 1>and so I when she's with us half the time,

0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:17.760
<v Speaker 1>literally we get her for like two or three weeks,

0:16:18.000 --> 0:16:19.640
<v Speaker 1>then she's with her mother for two or three weeks,

0:16:19.680 --> 0:16:21.960
<v Speaker 1>but we see her in between because she and her

0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:23.760
<v Speaker 1>mother we live all in the same town, so we're

0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:26.800
<v Speaker 1>everyone super close. So I used to when she would

0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:28.320
<v Speaker 1>be away for two or three weeks, I would go

0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:30.560
<v Speaker 1>in her room to air it out, open windows, you know,

0:16:31.240 --> 0:16:33.400
<v Speaker 1>and I guess she felt like dunk on my room

0:16:33.480 --> 0:16:39.440
<v Speaker 1>because I'm a teenager and so girl. So I went

0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:41.960
<v Speaker 1>to go. Tracy, my sister, who was staying with me

0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:45.080
<v Speaker 1>at the time, came to me was like, did you

0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:47.160
<v Speaker 1>go buy Supergirl's room?

0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:47.520
<v Speaker 3>I was like no.

0:16:47.640 --> 0:16:49.320
<v Speaker 1>She said, did you read the note on the door.

0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:52.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm like no, I go to the door. There's a

0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:55.600
<v Speaker 1>note please do not enter my room if you need

0:16:55.680 --> 0:16:58.400
<v Speaker 1>and she's like the windows are already opened, Like because

0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:02.040
<v Speaker 1>obviously she's talking to me. If you need anything, yes,

0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:04.879
<v Speaker 1>if you need anything, please call my mother at this number.

0:17:05.320 --> 0:17:07.480
<v Speaker 1>So I'm needing to call.

0:17:07.400 --> 0:17:10.199
<v Speaker 2>Her mother to enter and she don't have her number already.

0:17:10.480 --> 0:17:12.679
<v Speaker 1>Girl, Oh, but to enter and me like to enter

0:17:12.760 --> 0:17:15.879
<v Speaker 1>into a room that is at my house that I

0:17:15.960 --> 0:17:19.680
<v Speaker 1>paid for with my husband. So when I tell you

0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:23.040
<v Speaker 1>I snatched that note, Somar, I took a picture and

0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:26.680
<v Speaker 1>said to her father. He was so mad. And I'm

0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:28.359
<v Speaker 1>ashamed to say, because I was feeling so mad, so

0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:33.359
<v Speaker 1>I called her. I said, hey, yeah, I saw your note. No,

0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:36.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm in your room right now. She was steps, that's

0:17:36.920 --> 0:17:39.720
<v Speaker 1>my feet and you were And I'm ashamed to say

0:17:39.720 --> 0:17:41.920
<v Speaker 1>I did that, but I was so mad, and I

0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:44.359
<v Speaker 1>was like, you don't get to tell any adult in

0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:46.840
<v Speaker 1>this house where they can't go. No one is like,

0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:49.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, we weren't invading her privacy, like you can't

0:17:49.119 --> 0:17:52.120
<v Speaker 1>be gone for two weeks and then because one you're

0:17:52.119 --> 0:17:54.399
<v Speaker 1>the you know, kids are kids, so there might be

0:17:54.480 --> 0:17:56.639
<v Speaker 1>laundry that's thinking up the joint or maybe no one

0:17:56.680 --> 0:17:58.480
<v Speaker 1>because honestly, she's a good kid. She's not like out

0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:00.639
<v Speaker 1>here dropping it like it's hot, but like you know,

0:18:00.840 --> 0:18:03.280
<v Speaker 1>sometimes opening just opening the window so there's some light

0:18:03.359 --> 0:18:05.440
<v Speaker 1>that comes in. Even I don't care what it is.

0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:07.040
<v Speaker 1>I could just come in here because I want to

0:18:07.040 --> 0:18:09.560
<v Speaker 1>put my pinky toe on the ground, but like to

0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:12.080
<v Speaker 1>write that. And I said, for you, and just so

0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:14.040
<v Speaker 1>we're clear, because I love her mom, I said, And

0:18:14.119 --> 0:18:16.119
<v Speaker 1>I told her, you know, just so we're clear. Although

0:18:16.200 --> 0:18:19.480
<v Speaker 1>I love your mom, she doesn't have any agency in

0:18:19.560 --> 0:18:22.240
<v Speaker 1>this house. I don't have to ever call her to

0:18:22.400 --> 0:18:24.760
<v Speaker 1>ask what I can do in my house, just like

0:18:24.920 --> 0:18:28.000
<v Speaker 1>I would never expect that you have to get permission

0:18:28.080 --> 0:18:29.919
<v Speaker 1>for me to figure out what to do at your

0:18:29.960 --> 0:18:32.199
<v Speaker 1>mom's house because your mom is is an adult there,

0:18:32.320 --> 0:18:35.440
<v Speaker 1>she's the boss there. So anyway, my husband was like,

0:18:35.480 --> 0:18:37.080
<v Speaker 1>you know what, we're taking it back to old school.

0:18:38.440 --> 0:18:40.240
<v Speaker 1>She came back to no door. She had no door

0:18:40.320 --> 0:18:42.080
<v Speaker 1>on her room, she said, since she want to, since

0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:44.840
<v Speaker 1>you want to keep doors closed her room for like

0:18:45.000 --> 0:18:47.679
<v Speaker 1>for like two weeks, and so she learned her lesson

0:18:47.760 --> 0:18:49.879
<v Speaker 1>really well. Definitely apologize, she said. No, it was just

0:18:49.960 --> 0:18:53.240
<v Speaker 1>a general note for everyone everyone that knows. For me,

0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:55.119
<v Speaker 1>he says, because why why would you need to give

0:18:55.160 --> 0:18:57.640
<v Speaker 1>your father your mother's number. Of course he has it too,

0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:00.280
<v Speaker 1>you know it's me that opens the windows. So anyway,

0:19:00.320 --> 0:19:03.280
<v Speaker 1>she's back at it like she never left. So she's

0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:06.920
<v Speaker 1>turning fifteen, oh so grown, and she promised her dad

0:19:06.960 --> 0:19:09.680
<v Speaker 1>that she would do something. I forget whatever it was,

0:19:09.760 --> 0:19:12.520
<v Speaker 1>and oh, they were supposed to watch a movie together.

0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:15.480
<v Speaker 1>And then she she changed her mind, but in a

0:19:15.520 --> 0:19:16.919
<v Speaker 1>way that was really rude. And you know, mine are

0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:19.199
<v Speaker 1>so sensitive, so in her his feelings and he told her,

0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:21.240
<v Speaker 1>you know, that her my feelings and she basically she

0:19:21.400 --> 0:19:23.520
<v Speaker 1>was like, oh, well, oh well, ain't my problem. And

0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:26.159
<v Speaker 1>he was like, okay, well, since we're being selfish. You

0:19:26.240 --> 0:19:28.080
<v Speaker 1>know how you wanted me to pay for your birthday party.

0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:30.440
<v Speaker 1>You want to have a big shin dig at the house,

0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:32.840
<v Speaker 1>you can still have it, you know, because this house

0:19:32.960 --> 0:19:36.240
<v Speaker 1>is yours. But I'm not participating. I'm not paying for anything.

0:19:36.800 --> 0:19:39.359
<v Speaker 1>Because if you can make a promise that you can break,

0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:42.359
<v Speaker 1>you know, when it comes to me, then I can

0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:44.040
<v Speaker 1>make a promise that I can break to say, well,

0:19:44.119 --> 0:19:46.240
<v Speaker 1>you know what, you know, you can have your party here.

0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:50.720
<v Speaker 1>But the plates, the cups, the napkins, the ice, all

0:19:50.840 --> 0:19:52.560
<v Speaker 1>these things that she just take for granted because the

0:19:52.640 --> 0:19:54.760
<v Speaker 1>other day she told him because he told her that

0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:57.760
<v Speaker 1>she should be doing chores, and she said, I feel

0:19:57.800 --> 0:19:59.560
<v Speaker 1>like I shouldn't be doing chores in the summertime, that

0:19:59.640 --> 0:20:01.800
<v Speaker 1>my job as a kid is to have fun and

0:20:01.960 --> 0:20:04.680
<v Speaker 1>just to do my summer, and just to do my

0:20:04.760 --> 0:20:05.760
<v Speaker 1>summer in America.

0:20:06.680 --> 0:20:07.040
<v Speaker 2>Girl.

0:20:08.040 --> 0:20:10.399
<v Speaker 1>And then she said this will have me rolling down

0:20:10.440 --> 0:20:12.000
<v Speaker 1>the stair because you know, I was listening, like, oh God,

0:20:12.040 --> 0:20:14.480
<v Speaker 1>not doing me. I'm just listening. And she's like, what

0:20:14.640 --> 0:20:19.640
<v Speaker 1>about she said something like her upstairs? I said her, girl,

0:20:19.720 --> 0:20:21.480
<v Speaker 1>the way I flewd down the stairs, I almost fell.

0:20:23.240 --> 0:20:25.960
<v Speaker 1>I said, I think she said them right? Or I

0:20:26.000 --> 0:20:29.120
<v Speaker 1>said who who her? Who's her? Basically saying like, why

0:20:29.160 --> 0:20:31.840
<v Speaker 1>don't she do chores? I said, who who's? Who's her?

0:20:32.200 --> 0:20:33.640
<v Speaker 1>She looked like, I guess she didn't think I heard.

0:20:33.640 --> 0:20:34.119
<v Speaker 2>I was like, no, no, no.

0:20:35.000 --> 0:20:36.640
<v Speaker 1>My husband looked at me, was like no, I said,

0:20:36.680 --> 0:20:39.479
<v Speaker 1>oh no, no, no, no, who who was her upstairs?

0:20:39.520 --> 0:20:41.359
<v Speaker 1>That you're comparing yourself to pictured her?

0:20:41.440 --> 0:20:45.240
<v Speaker 2>Man with all the six arm just like just holding

0:20:45.280 --> 0:20:48.520
<v Speaker 2>me back. No, no, no, no.

0:20:48.760 --> 0:20:51.560
<v Speaker 1>Explain her her that you think that you and not

0:20:51.720 --> 0:20:54.280
<v Speaker 1>on the same level, that you can compare what your

0:20:54.359 --> 0:20:55.920
<v Speaker 1>chores ought to be to what my chores ought to be.

0:20:56.200 --> 0:20:58.320
<v Speaker 1>She said, no, but I feel like kids. I said, no,

0:20:58.400 --> 0:21:00.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm let me tell you something. What kids do? I said,

0:21:00.600 --> 0:21:01.840
<v Speaker 1>I told her. I was like, you know, we pay

0:21:01.920 --> 0:21:03.240
<v Speaker 1>for food, We pay for them to make sure that

0:21:03.280 --> 0:21:04.520
<v Speaker 1>you have a place to see. She said, yeah, that's

0:21:04.520 --> 0:21:06.240
<v Speaker 1>what you're supposed to do, and I said, I agree,

0:21:06.600 --> 0:21:09.760
<v Speaker 1>and you know what, you're supposed to do chores because

0:21:09.800 --> 0:21:11.159
<v Speaker 1>she was fighting that she didn't think she ought to

0:21:11.160 --> 0:21:13.480
<v Speaker 1>do chores because she only lives here part time, and

0:21:13.560 --> 0:21:15.280
<v Speaker 1>I said, well, the part that you live here, you're

0:21:15.320 --> 0:21:18.800
<v Speaker 1>doing chores, oh, child Like, so I don't even know. Sometimes,

0:21:18.800 --> 0:21:22.440
<v Speaker 1>I mean, if those of y'all raising teenagers, the financial

0:21:22.520 --> 0:21:26.040
<v Speaker 1>component sometimes it's so tricky because obviously Superman and I

0:21:26.119 --> 0:21:28.280
<v Speaker 1>in a really good position to be able to provide

0:21:28.320 --> 0:21:30.680
<v Speaker 1>for her, which we do, but it's always like how

0:21:30.840 --> 0:21:33.960
<v Speaker 1>much provision do you provide? You know what I mean?

0:21:34.080 --> 0:21:39.080
<v Speaker 1>Because I feel like there's a lack of gratefulness there,

0:21:39.440 --> 0:21:43.040
<v Speaker 1>only because not because she's some nasty kid, but only

0:21:43.080 --> 0:21:44.840
<v Speaker 1>because she doesn't know what it's like not to have,

0:21:45.840 --> 0:21:47.639
<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean. So for her, she's like, well,

0:21:47.640 --> 0:21:49.760
<v Speaker 1>of course I get these things, of course. So like

0:21:49.880 --> 0:21:51.639
<v Speaker 1>that's really the struggle when it comes to.

0:21:51.720 --> 0:21:55.359
<v Speaker 2>Like, I'm obsessed with that entire conversation. I'm obsessed with

0:21:55.480 --> 0:22:00.280
<v Speaker 2>that problem for parents who had who were from the

0:22:00.359 --> 0:22:03.800
<v Speaker 2>class of like for example. Well, first of all, I mean,

0:22:04.320 --> 0:22:06.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't think either of us, especially myself. I'll speak

0:22:06.960 --> 0:22:09.440
<v Speaker 2>for myself. I did not grow up poor. We had

0:22:09.640 --> 0:22:11.399
<v Speaker 2>times in our life when we had a lot less,

0:22:11.640 --> 0:22:15.080
<v Speaker 2>especially post divorce and my mom getting back on her feet.

0:22:16.640 --> 0:22:20.240
<v Speaker 2>But I but to that I had less than I

0:22:20.280 --> 0:22:23.479
<v Speaker 2>have now, and I certainly grew up with a lot

0:22:23.560 --> 0:22:27.800
<v Speaker 2>more financial insecurity than I hope Rio will have to endure.

0:22:28.480 --> 0:22:31.399
<v Speaker 2>But I also credit a lot of my upbringing with

0:22:31.880 --> 0:22:34.280
<v Speaker 2>my success. You know the fact that I knew no

0:22:34.359 --> 0:22:37.520
<v Speaker 2>one was gonna support and like no one could financially

0:22:37.840 --> 0:22:39.800
<v Speaker 2>rescue me when I lost my job, I had to

0:22:39.920 --> 0:22:42.520
<v Speaker 2>just like cobble together an income and you know, get

0:22:42.560 --> 0:22:47.159
<v Speaker 2>onto the next step. And I'm obsessed with children of

0:22:47.280 --> 0:22:50.760
<v Speaker 2>first time financially stable parents. I haven't thought of like

0:22:50.800 --> 0:22:53.800
<v Speaker 2>a buzzword for us yet. Yeah no, But how do

0:22:53.960 --> 0:22:57.080
<v Speaker 2>you manufacture struggle for them in a way that doesn't

0:22:57.480 --> 0:23:00.360
<v Speaker 2>it doesn't make you, like feel terrible. But she needs

0:23:00.359 --> 0:23:02.359
<v Speaker 2>a struggle. I think it just has to be like

0:23:02.400 --> 0:23:07.920
<v Speaker 2>an intentional manufacturing of struggle, and in a way that

0:23:08.160 --> 0:23:09.720
<v Speaker 2>goes against everything that we want.

0:23:10.800 --> 0:23:12.480
<v Speaker 1>I also don't know and I say this like like

0:23:12.600 --> 0:23:14.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm not like we're not the parents that gets like

0:23:14.400 --> 0:23:17.600
<v Speaker 1>like the Jordans and this and that that's not what's happening. Obviously,

0:23:17.640 --> 0:23:19.920
<v Speaker 1>she has her own room, you know her, and she's

0:23:20.000 --> 0:23:21.879
<v Speaker 1>got the only cause of her. The bathroom is not

0:23:22.000 --> 0:23:24.280
<v Speaker 1>huge in her in her in her room, but whoever

0:23:24.400 --> 0:23:27.280
<v Speaker 1>lived there before created like this cute, small little en suite.

0:23:27.560 --> 0:23:29.000
<v Speaker 1>And so this is the first time, like since we

0:23:29.119 --> 0:23:31.119
<v Speaker 1>moved here because where we lived before she didn't have

0:23:31.200 --> 0:23:32.760
<v Speaker 1>her own room. So she got her own room. Well,

0:23:32.800 --> 0:23:34.480
<v Speaker 1>she had her own room, but not her own bathroom

0:23:34.720 --> 0:23:37.280
<v Speaker 1>inside her own room. And I wouldn't say, like, you know,

0:23:37.400 --> 0:23:41.040
<v Speaker 1>she doesn't. It's not that she's like you know, I mean,

0:23:41.080 --> 0:23:44.320
<v Speaker 1>certainly she's got more than I'm gotten, but like I

0:23:44.560 --> 0:23:48.920
<v Speaker 1>don't buy the Jordans and like the Puma or something.

0:23:48.920 --> 0:23:52.320
<v Speaker 1>I mean, her parents sometimes do, but I don't even

0:23:52.359 --> 0:23:54.359
<v Speaker 1>know if it's an excess. I just don't think that.

0:23:55.760 --> 0:23:57.119
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I just always knew as a kid we

0:23:57.119 --> 0:24:00.119
<v Speaker 1>didn't have it, you know what I mean. Like I

0:24:00.200 --> 0:24:04.280
<v Speaker 1>can't remember, honestly senior year wanting like a senior jacket.

0:24:04.400 --> 0:24:06.000
<v Speaker 1>And I didn't even ask my mom because I knew

0:24:06.040 --> 0:24:08.119
<v Speaker 1>we didn't have it. I remember having decided having did

0:24:08.160 --> 0:24:09.800
<v Speaker 1>this because senior year in high school, you know, you

0:24:09.880 --> 0:24:12.120
<v Speaker 1>have all these activities and they were like six of them,

0:24:12.480 --> 0:24:15.879
<v Speaker 1>and I literally knowing that I could choose one, you know,

0:24:16.240 --> 0:24:18.800
<v Speaker 1>and so thinking like, she doesn't have to think of

0:24:18.920 --> 0:24:21.720
<v Speaker 1>those things, and so I don't. I honestly don't know

0:24:21.880 --> 0:24:26.840
<v Speaker 1>how to like manufacture struggle honestly because obviously it's not working.

0:24:28.480 --> 0:24:32.040
<v Speaker 2>But mean, I struggle every day. I struggle with her upstairs.

0:24:34.840 --> 0:24:36.640
<v Speaker 1>But she I will say this that that day, which

0:24:36.720 --> 0:24:39.119
<v Speaker 1>is very mature of her. This is without prodding from

0:24:39.160 --> 0:24:42.560
<v Speaker 1>her father. She wrote me like a really beautiful letter apologizing.

0:24:42.920 --> 0:24:45.080
<v Speaker 1>She like is like, I know, I can't imagine how

0:24:45.119 --> 0:24:47.239
<v Speaker 1>hard it is to raise someone else's child. I was like, oh,

0:24:47.320 --> 0:24:52.560
<v Speaker 1>look at her, you know. And she was like, you know,

0:24:52.720 --> 0:24:54.840
<v Speaker 1>you didn't deserve that because you've always been kind, because

0:24:54.840 --> 0:24:57.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm always like her advocate and you've always been kind. No,

0:24:57.200 --> 0:24:59.879
<v Speaker 1>it's been and good thing is about our relationship, is

0:25:00.680 --> 0:25:02.600
<v Speaker 1>she and like I spoke to her after that happened.

0:25:02.760 --> 0:25:05.560
<v Speaker 1>I called her mother, and she and her mother we

0:25:05.600 --> 0:25:08.359
<v Speaker 1>have always had a really great relationship. So she was like, oh,

0:25:08.359 --> 0:25:11.080
<v Speaker 1>hello girl, She's like, I always tell her, that's not

0:25:11.160 --> 0:25:12.800
<v Speaker 1>the one you want a problem with TIV. It's always

0:25:12.840 --> 0:25:13.479
<v Speaker 1>in your corner.

0:25:13.720 --> 0:25:14.000
<v Speaker 2>I am.

0:25:14.080 --> 0:25:16.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm usually like no, so, man, I think you wrong

0:25:16.760 --> 0:25:18.959
<v Speaker 1>on this one. And so she's like, so we had

0:25:19.040 --> 0:25:20.520
<v Speaker 1>like so that was the good thing about it is that,

0:25:20.720 --> 0:25:22.919
<v Speaker 1>like I wasn't worried about what is her mother gonna say,

0:25:22.960 --> 0:25:24.560
<v Speaker 1>cause we had a really great talk and she gave

0:25:24.600 --> 0:25:26.159
<v Speaker 1>me some great feedback of some things I can do,

0:25:26.960 --> 0:25:30.200
<v Speaker 1>and like, you know, she's apologized right away. But that

0:25:30.359 --> 0:25:33.120
<v Speaker 1>is the struggle. I'm not gonna lie because she doesn't struggle,

0:25:33.280 --> 0:25:37.680
<v Speaker 1>and it's very difficult to manufacture that. I mean, I

0:25:37.760 --> 0:25:41.600
<v Speaker 1>don't feel like we overindulge, but we don't underindulge in

0:25:41.680 --> 0:25:44.560
<v Speaker 1>some places. And I'm like, we ought to. I'm gonna

0:25:44.600 --> 0:25:46.320
<v Speaker 1>see if he's gonna stick to not paying for the

0:25:46.640 --> 0:25:48.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, that's the thing too. You can't just say

0:25:48.480 --> 0:25:50.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm not gonna pay for the party and then pay

0:25:50.040 --> 0:25:53.160
<v Speaker 1>for the party. Yeah, you know, so if I would,

0:25:53.320 --> 0:25:55.119
<v Speaker 1>this is what I would think. This is what I

0:25:55.160 --> 0:25:57.240
<v Speaker 1>think is probably gonna be better, is that I will

0:25:57.359 --> 0:25:59.159
<v Speaker 1>match what you put up because she works like she does,

0:25:59.240 --> 0:26:01.960
<v Speaker 1>like side jobs and stuff, so that might be better.

0:26:02.200 --> 0:26:04.000
<v Speaker 1>Like the other day she broke her she got a

0:26:04.040 --> 0:26:09.399
<v Speaker 1>computer for her birthday because she needed quarantine. And she

0:26:09.560 --> 0:26:11.600
<v Speaker 1>asked me, like a few days ago, she got a

0:26:11.680 --> 0:26:15.040
<v Speaker 1>computer for her birthday, like two years ago. She asked me, like, Tiffany,

0:26:15.119 --> 0:26:19.760
<v Speaker 1>do we still have insurance on the computer? I'm like, why,

0:26:20.600 --> 0:26:23.359
<v Speaker 1>She said, well, according to Apple, it looks like there

0:26:23.440 --> 0:26:25.359
<v Speaker 1>was some pressure put on it. I'm like, it looks like, oh,

0:26:25.400 --> 0:26:26.919
<v Speaker 1>you sad on it. Like what are we saying here?

0:26:27.520 --> 0:26:30.400
<v Speaker 1>She was like, so, I'm guessing we don't have insurance.

0:26:30.480 --> 0:26:36.679
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I was like, did you break your computer? Mean,

0:26:36.720 --> 0:26:38.320
<v Speaker 1>it's either yes or no. Sis, you're the only one

0:26:38.359 --> 0:26:41.479
<v Speaker 1>that uses your computer. So that's that cost a few

0:26:41.560 --> 0:26:43.879
<v Speaker 1>hundred bucks to fix. And we told her, like, you

0:26:44.000 --> 0:26:47.480
<v Speaker 1>have to pay for that, you know that, you know, certainly,

0:26:47.640 --> 0:26:49.520
<v Speaker 1>like you know, at least half of it, because she

0:26:49.600 --> 0:26:51.840
<v Speaker 1>has to learn. So you're raising kids, especially has it

0:26:51.880 --> 0:26:54.800
<v Speaker 1>relates to money, especially if you're not struggling financially, certainly

0:26:55.560 --> 0:26:57.879
<v Speaker 1>is like this thing because I don't want to, you know,

0:26:57.960 --> 0:27:01.159
<v Speaker 1>there's a reason why, Like super and I are not, like,

0:27:02.240 --> 0:27:04.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, we're not all wild with our money because

0:27:04.359 --> 0:27:06.560
<v Speaker 1>we know like what it's like not to have, and

0:27:06.640 --> 0:27:09.000
<v Speaker 1>so I just worry that she's going to live like

0:27:09.800 --> 0:27:12.760
<v Speaker 1>foolishly because she doesn't know what it's not. She doesn't

0:27:12.760 --> 0:27:13.520
<v Speaker 1>know what it's like not to have.

0:27:13.760 --> 0:27:17.639
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, well I got no answers for you, but

0:27:17.680 --> 0:27:21.639
<v Speaker 2>I don't. I'm upset. Well, you should have answers for me,

0:27:21.680 --> 0:27:22.720
<v Speaker 2>because you're ahead of the game.

0:27:22.880 --> 0:27:25.040
<v Speaker 1>And that's how tweet us. Tweet us at the BA

0:27:25.119 --> 0:27:29.280
<v Speaker 1>podcast if you've got some suggestions, please, Lord, Like, we

0:27:29.359 --> 0:27:31.760
<v Speaker 1>can't take the door again. He could almost put it

0:27:31.800 --> 0:27:32.960
<v Speaker 1>back on again. He was like, I don't know how

0:27:33.000 --> 0:27:33.720
<v Speaker 1>to put this back up.

0:27:34.520 --> 0:27:37.680
<v Speaker 2>How do you manufacture struggle so that they cause the

0:27:37.760 --> 0:27:39.680
<v Speaker 2>thing is you either. It kind of goes back to

0:27:39.760 --> 0:27:42.840
<v Speaker 2>the whole idea of like we did not get spankings

0:27:42.920 --> 0:27:44.960
<v Speaker 2>that often. I would say I didn't really get spanked

0:27:44.960 --> 0:27:47.760
<v Speaker 2>after I was like five, but in Black Household it

0:27:47.840 --> 0:27:49.840
<v Speaker 2>was very common to grow up that way, and you

0:27:49.920 --> 0:27:52.960
<v Speaker 2>know a lot and especially like black boys. And I

0:27:53.000 --> 0:27:55.280
<v Speaker 2>think I was reading in Tanahasse Coates's book Between the

0:27:55.320 --> 0:27:57.680
<v Speaker 2>World and Me where he's talking about his dad explaining

0:27:57.720 --> 0:27:59.280
<v Speaker 2>why he's doing it, and it's kind of like to

0:27:59.400 --> 0:28:02.200
<v Speaker 2>prepare you either I beat you or the world will

0:28:02.240 --> 0:28:04.399
<v Speaker 2>because it's really you know, it's very it can be

0:28:04.480 --> 0:28:07.480
<v Speaker 2>really dangerous out there, and it's it's not that I mean,

0:28:07.560 --> 0:28:11.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't believe in in like physical punishment. I think

0:28:11.680 --> 0:28:13.920
<v Speaker 2>that there's plenty of studies at show that does not

0:28:14.040 --> 0:28:16.080
<v Speaker 2>actually do what you think is doing. I agree, but

0:28:16.440 --> 0:28:19.440
<v Speaker 2>it's almost like I do think that there is something

0:28:19.520 --> 0:28:22.280
<v Speaker 2>to be said for if you do not prepare them

0:28:22.359 --> 0:28:25.040
<v Speaker 2>financially to take to like no one will. We all

0:28:25.119 --> 0:28:26.879
<v Speaker 2>know you're not going to get the education in school

0:28:27.280 --> 0:28:29.240
<v Speaker 2>unless you live somewhere where the budget neeste laws and

0:28:29.320 --> 0:28:32.679
<v Speaker 2>effect you, or you know they're not going to get

0:28:32.680 --> 0:28:35.240
<v Speaker 2>it in college. And do you really want to wait

0:28:35.320 --> 0:28:37.880
<v Speaker 2>for the next like economic downturn for them to fall

0:28:37.960 --> 0:28:41.080
<v Speaker 2>on their butts? You know? I do think that there

0:28:41.120 --> 0:28:42.920
<v Speaker 2>are things that we can do to to not to

0:28:43.040 --> 0:28:45.440
<v Speaker 2>manufacture struggle in like a negative sense, but to give

0:28:45.480 --> 0:28:49.000
<v Speaker 2>them opportunities to rise, like to give them opportunities to

0:28:49.240 --> 0:28:51.320
<v Speaker 2>prove that you can trust them or that they can

0:28:51.400 --> 0:28:53.400
<v Speaker 2>be trusted, and to win as much as they may

0:28:53.520 --> 0:28:57.240
<v Speaker 2>struggle financially, Like I'll never forget buying my prom dress

0:28:57.680 --> 0:29:00.480
<v Speaker 2>for senior year and just paying for that dress. It

0:29:00.560 --> 0:29:02.360
<v Speaker 2>was like two hundred and something dollars. I think I

0:29:02.400 --> 0:29:05.200
<v Speaker 2>got it out of a catalog. I felt so rewarding

0:29:05.280 --> 0:29:09.880
<v Speaker 2>to me, and I think that it wasn't like my

0:29:10.000 --> 0:29:11.680
<v Speaker 2>mom punished me but asked me to pay for it.

0:29:11.760 --> 0:29:14.360
<v Speaker 2>But I don't know, giving them opportunities to like to

0:29:14.880 --> 0:29:19.000
<v Speaker 2>rise to the occasion, Yeah, that can really and I don't.

0:29:19.080 --> 0:29:20.720
<v Speaker 2>I don't want Rio to go out into the world

0:29:20.840 --> 0:29:23.000
<v Speaker 2>and not know how to bounce back.

0:29:23.520 --> 0:29:25.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and he gets that's his blood, you know. So

0:29:25.760 --> 0:29:27.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, well, girl, we about to have a birthday

0:29:27.120 --> 0:29:28.520
<v Speaker 1>party with no place, no neck is.

0:29:28.520 --> 0:29:32.360
<v Speaker 2>No food, no maybe she'll have an amazing birthday. And

0:29:32.440 --> 0:29:34.000
<v Speaker 2>she'd be like, you know what, I realized, you don't

0:29:34.000 --> 0:29:34.880
<v Speaker 2>need very You don't.

0:29:34.680 --> 0:29:38.280
<v Speaker 1>Need that much outside. That's all we provide is outside.

0:29:40.960 --> 0:29:41.640
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god.

0:29:42.360 --> 0:29:43.760
<v Speaker 1>Thankfully she doesn't listen to the podcast.

0:29:43.800 --> 0:29:47.480
<v Speaker 2>She'd be like, look how different the conversation is six

0:29:47.600 --> 0:29:53.800
<v Speaker 2>years later. Look at with our real live humans, our

0:29:53.920 --> 0:29:54.600
<v Speaker 2>guinea pigs.

0:30:00.040 --> 0:30:04.600
<v Speaker 1>Well, do you want to boost? Do you want to break?

0:30:06.720 --> 0:30:11.600
<v Speaker 1>Because now it's time to boost or break or boost

0:30:11.760 --> 0:30:16.040
<v Speaker 1>or brown boost a brown breaking. You know what was

0:30:16.080 --> 0:30:18.320
<v Speaker 1>so crazy in the beginning. I think we only used

0:30:18.360 --> 0:30:21.520
<v Speaker 1>to do brown break. In the beginning, remember, yeah.

0:30:21.360 --> 0:30:24.960
<v Speaker 2>We called it something different. It was like brown brilliance.

0:30:25.800 --> 0:30:26.840
<v Speaker 2>Was it a positive one?

0:30:27.040 --> 0:30:30.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, and then brown break.

0:30:30.440 --> 0:30:32.360
<v Speaker 2>And then I think we just became we were like

0:30:32.440 --> 0:30:34.720
<v Speaker 2>we never do brilliance. We just always want to break.

0:30:35.200 --> 0:30:39.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't know because yes, no, because I remember, because

0:30:39.040 --> 0:30:42.120
<v Speaker 1>we was that that that that, you know, the administration

0:30:42.200 --> 0:30:43.600
<v Speaker 1>that shall not be named. I think we were having

0:30:43.600 --> 0:30:46.040
<v Speaker 1>such a hard time we were like, we need some positivity.

0:30:46.120 --> 0:30:47.880
<v Speaker 1>So we added like, let's we need to be boosting

0:30:47.960 --> 0:30:48.280
<v Speaker 1>as well.

0:30:48.640 --> 0:30:51.120
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, we went negative, then back to positive. But

0:30:51.480 --> 0:30:53.080
<v Speaker 2>I think we all ended up where we need to.

0:30:53.320 --> 0:30:55.760
<v Speaker 2>It was just very bizarre to read the old We

0:30:55.840 --> 0:30:58.520
<v Speaker 2>were so organized in the beginning. Someone was just our

0:30:58.560 --> 0:31:00.880
<v Speaker 2>producer Sarah was like, yeah, it'd be nice to know

0:31:00.960 --> 0:31:02.280
<v Speaker 2>like show topics and advance.

0:31:02.600 --> 0:31:04.720
<v Speaker 1>I was like, but we'll let you know what we know.

0:31:07.120 --> 0:31:11.959
<v Speaker 2>Whatever whatever strikes us. But yeah, So I have actually

0:31:12.000 --> 0:31:14.280
<v Speaker 2>a few options because I've been taking I've been like

0:31:14.360 --> 0:31:16.280
<v Speaker 2>writing down things, trying to get back in the habit.

0:31:16.360 --> 0:31:18.640
<v Speaker 2>I found my special Brown Ambition notebook.

0:31:20.640 --> 0:31:24.760
<v Speaker 1>Nice it's got at that. Look at that.

0:31:25.280 --> 0:31:28.959
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, a little chocolate. I wish I could never please

0:31:29.960 --> 0:31:34.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm a blonde roast. We all know that. Anyway, Tiffany's

0:31:34.760 --> 0:31:39.920
<v Speaker 2>an espresso AnyWho. What was I saying? I have like

0:31:40.040 --> 0:31:42.480
<v Speaker 2>crazy road trip brain, So a couple of things. I

0:31:42.520 --> 0:31:44.160
<v Speaker 2>want to take a break. Here's what I'm gonna do.

0:31:44.160 --> 0:31:45.360
<v Speaker 2>I think I'm gonna choose this one. I want to

0:31:45.360 --> 0:31:50.960
<v Speaker 2>take a break from college degrees. We kind of towed

0:31:51.000 --> 0:31:53.040
<v Speaker 2>around this a little bit when we had my financial

0:31:53.080 --> 0:31:55.400
<v Speaker 2>planner Helen on the show a few months back. We

0:31:55.480 --> 0:31:58.400
<v Speaker 2>were talking about the importance of saving for your children

0:31:58.920 --> 0:32:01.080
<v Speaker 2>and one of the tried and ways of saving for

0:32:01.160 --> 0:32:03.960
<v Speaker 2>your child is a five to nine college savings plan.

0:32:04.560 --> 0:32:06.960
<v Speaker 2>And at the time Helen was helping me kind of

0:32:07.040 --> 0:32:10.240
<v Speaker 2>see beyond, like you know, college is not the only

0:32:10.720 --> 0:32:13.640
<v Speaker 2>measure of success. And I think the next generation, like

0:32:13.720 --> 0:32:16.960
<v Speaker 2>Rio's generation, will grow up in a different world where

0:32:17.280 --> 0:32:20.360
<v Speaker 2>you know, we don't equate college degrees and college education

0:32:20.560 --> 0:32:23.640
<v Speaker 2>as a pathway to success as much as is a

0:32:23.760 --> 0:32:27.400
<v Speaker 2>pathway to the depths of debt, because it can be

0:32:27.640 --> 0:32:29.880
<v Speaker 2>I mean not always, but it can often lead to

0:32:30.040 --> 0:32:33.320
<v Speaker 2>so much debt for nothing because you may realize you

0:32:33.400 --> 0:32:35.720
<v Speaker 2>don't want to study what you studied. You may have

0:32:35.800 --> 0:32:38.080
<v Speaker 2>gone into school too quickly, maybe you should have taken

0:32:38.120 --> 0:32:40.560
<v Speaker 2>a gap year to like find yourself or whatnot. Anyway,

0:32:40.640 --> 0:32:43.120
<v Speaker 2>so we brought that up then, and I think the

0:32:43.240 --> 0:32:47.200
<v Speaker 2>pandemic has even further for me driven home the fact

0:32:47.240 --> 0:32:53.600
<v Speaker 2>that the societal pressure on having a college degree is

0:32:53.640 --> 0:32:57.320
<v Speaker 2>actually can sometimes hurt more than it helps. And the

0:32:57.640 --> 0:32:59.800
<v Speaker 2>specific thing that I want to talk about for my

0:33:00.080 --> 0:33:04.360
<v Speaker 2>break was how it hurts job applicants, because still to

0:33:04.480 --> 0:33:09.440
<v Speaker 2>this day, most it feels like job applications they have

0:33:09.760 --> 0:33:11.800
<v Speaker 2>like it's like there's you have dozens and dozens of

0:33:11.960 --> 0:33:13.840
<v Speaker 2>hundreds of resumes coming in, and I've seen it because

0:33:13.840 --> 0:33:16.480
<v Speaker 2>I've been on the hiring side, and you have this software.

0:33:16.760 --> 0:33:18.960
<v Speaker 2>You have software that you can use or tools that

0:33:19.000 --> 0:33:21.680
<v Speaker 2>you can use to weed out applicants based on keywords,

0:33:22.200 --> 0:33:24.640
<v Speaker 2>and you may, for example, weed out anyone that doesn't

0:33:24.640 --> 0:33:28.240
<v Speaker 2>include the word degree, or anyone that doesn't include bachelor

0:33:28.480 --> 0:33:30.880
<v Speaker 2>or whatever in there, or doesn't check a box saying

0:33:30.920 --> 0:33:36.400
<v Speaker 2>that they've completed higher education, college or higher And the

0:33:36.560 --> 0:33:39.880
<v Speaker 2>problem is that so many jobs, like for example, my cousin,

0:33:39.960 --> 0:33:42.320
<v Speaker 2>who I don't think would even be upset by me

0:33:42.440 --> 0:33:46.160
<v Speaker 2>mentioning this, she has been living with me since February

0:33:46.680 --> 0:33:49.600
<v Speaker 2>she's been my personal assistant slash nanny south slash O

0:33:49.760 --> 0:33:54.280
<v Speaker 2>pair up until July and when Rio started daycare. And

0:33:54.480 --> 0:33:57.280
<v Speaker 2>Anna is halfway through well she's like three quarters of

0:33:57.320 --> 0:34:01.320
<v Speaker 2>her way through a healthcare administration degree. Okay, she is

0:34:01.840 --> 0:34:05.720
<v Speaker 2>so freaking smart, can do anything. Is so like emotionally

0:34:05.800 --> 0:34:08.120
<v Speaker 2>intelligent and mature for her age.

0:34:08.680 --> 0:34:10.960
<v Speaker 1>And this woman has applied dozens of.

0:34:11.040 --> 0:34:13.799
<v Speaker 2>Jobs and with all of my career advice and all

0:34:13.880 --> 0:34:17.879
<v Speaker 2>of my resume, she hasn't gotten any jobs. And she's

0:34:17.920 --> 0:34:20.919
<v Speaker 2>been looking for like administrative assistant positions. You know, she's

0:34:20.920 --> 0:34:24.120
<v Speaker 2>studying healthcare administration. So we've been you know, I even

0:34:24.280 --> 0:34:26.640
<v Speaker 2>like was like go to this this place where I

0:34:26.680 --> 0:34:29.200
<v Speaker 2>get my group on laser laser hair removal and see

0:34:29.239 --> 0:34:31.360
<v Speaker 2>if they want see if they need an admin.

0:34:31.560 --> 0:34:32.600
<v Speaker 1>You've been looking for admin.

0:34:33.400 --> 0:34:36.200
<v Speaker 2>So but listen, Okay, not the kind of admin where

0:34:36.239 --> 0:34:37.880
<v Speaker 2>like she's schedules sing. She's not so good at that.

0:34:38.160 --> 0:34:41.839
<v Speaker 2>But like, you know, FA, I believe me, I would

0:34:41.840 --> 0:34:42.560
<v Speaker 2>have referred her to you.

0:34:42.600 --> 0:34:45.359
<v Speaker 1>Tis that girl looking for admin. But I'm like, okay,

0:34:45.560 --> 0:34:46.080
<v Speaker 1>she would.

0:34:45.920 --> 0:34:50.480
<v Speaker 2>Be my brown ambition admin. Okay, anyway, but she's got

0:34:50.520 --> 0:34:53.440
<v Speaker 2>these qualifications. But we just know it's because she hasn't

0:34:53.440 --> 0:34:57.120
<v Speaker 2>finished her degree. And literally in the job market today,

0:34:57.160 --> 0:35:00.560
<v Speaker 2>where there's such a shortage of labor, you know, a

0:35:01.120 --> 0:35:04.040
<v Speaker 2>shortage of labor and huge demand for at the same time,

0:35:04.480 --> 0:35:08.320
<v Speaker 2>it just seems like antiquated that people are potentially passing

0:35:08.440 --> 0:35:13.480
<v Speaker 2>up candidates based on something that is a little bit arbitrary. So, like,

0:35:13.640 --> 0:35:17.280
<v Speaker 2>I see the importance of education obviously, you know, college degree,

0:35:17.800 --> 0:35:19.560
<v Speaker 2>especially if it's in a field that's tied to the

0:35:19.640 --> 0:35:21.560
<v Speaker 2>job that you're applying for, it can't indicate that you

0:35:21.680 --> 0:35:24.560
<v Speaker 2>have some preparation for the role. But for jobs that

0:35:25.000 --> 0:35:28.960
<v Speaker 2>you can really learn on the job, you know, assistant roles,

0:35:29.200 --> 0:35:31.680
<v Speaker 2>like there are plenty of jobs where you don't really

0:35:31.760 --> 0:35:35.279
<v Speaker 2>need someone who has job experience. You need someone who

0:35:35.440 --> 0:35:37.840
<v Speaker 2>is who has all the qualities that Anna has that

0:35:37.960 --> 0:35:42.200
<v Speaker 2>are not easily put on a resume, like knows how

0:35:42.239 --> 0:35:46.360
<v Speaker 2>to handle conflict, knows how to juggle multiple tasks at once.

0:35:46.600 --> 0:35:49.919
<v Speaker 2>You know, it is intuitive about people's needs without needing

0:35:49.960 --> 0:35:52.520
<v Speaker 2>to be told, like these are things that you just

0:35:52.600 --> 0:35:56.200
<v Speaker 2>can't teach, you know. And so I brought that up

0:35:56.239 --> 0:35:59.360
<v Speaker 2>because I was listening to another podcast, Planet Money The Indicator,

0:35:59.640 --> 0:36:04.239
<v Speaker 2>which is good, and they featured college degrees, and they

0:36:04.680 --> 0:36:07.200
<v Speaker 2>actually interviewed someone who used to work for the Obama

0:36:07.239 --> 0:36:09.920
<v Speaker 2>administration and he now works for this organization that I

0:36:10.000 --> 0:36:13.600
<v Speaker 2>hadn't heard of called Opportunity Work, which is actually a

0:36:13.719 --> 0:36:19.319
<v Speaker 2>nonprofit that helps people who don't have college degrees find better,

0:36:20.000 --> 0:36:23.360
<v Speaker 2>more meaningful employment. Anyway, So that's that's my break, and

0:36:23.640 --> 0:36:26.200
<v Speaker 2>it's very frustrating to me. And I would say, if

0:36:26.239 --> 0:36:28.439
<v Speaker 2>you're in a position of hiring, you know, really look

0:36:28.920 --> 0:36:31.640
<v Speaker 2>at your job. Even ask your HR reps when they're

0:36:31.640 --> 0:36:34.839
<v Speaker 2>recruiting for roles, you know, what are your how are

0:36:34.880 --> 0:36:37.040
<v Speaker 2>you filtering out candidates? What are you really looking for?

0:36:37.280 --> 0:36:41.480
<v Speaker 2>And actually ask yourself if you need to put Bachelor

0:36:41.800 --> 0:36:45.279
<v Speaker 2>of Arts required for certain roles, because you could be

0:36:45.880 --> 0:36:48.680
<v Speaker 2>you could really be excluding a lot of people. You know,

0:36:48.960 --> 0:36:50.960
<v Speaker 2>a lot of people. I think something like more than

0:36:51.000 --> 0:36:53.000
<v Speaker 2>half the country doesn't even have a college degree. So

0:36:53.560 --> 0:36:55.600
<v Speaker 2>it's not even a black, brown, white issue, it's just

0:36:55.680 --> 0:36:58.319
<v Speaker 2>an everybody issue. But yeah, stay in school and all

0:36:58.400 --> 0:37:02.680
<v Speaker 2>that college is great, but it can't be the only

0:37:02.840 --> 0:37:03.879
<v Speaker 2>requirement for a job.

0:37:04.320 --> 0:37:07.000
<v Speaker 1>I agree, so a few things. One but that's why

0:37:07.120 --> 0:37:09.080
<v Speaker 1>I did. I don't have five twenty nine plans for

0:37:09.200 --> 0:37:11.040
<v Speaker 1>the kids in my life. I have what does that

0:37:11.160 --> 0:37:14.040
<v Speaker 1>thing called custodio plans, So it's just me. You know,

0:37:14.120 --> 0:37:17.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm missing out, yes on the tax benefit, but it's

0:37:17.719 --> 0:37:19.440
<v Speaker 1>basically I get to set aside money. I get to

0:37:19.520 --> 0:37:21.480
<v Speaker 1>let the money grow, but at the end you get

0:37:21.520 --> 0:37:23.920
<v Speaker 1>to decide how you want to use it. Because my

0:37:24.080 --> 0:37:26.040
<v Speaker 1>nieces and my nephew most of them are under the

0:37:26.080 --> 0:37:28.120
<v Speaker 1>age of six, well all of them are under the

0:37:28.160 --> 0:37:32.000
<v Speaker 1>age of six, and although Supergirl is fourteen, still you

0:37:32.120 --> 0:37:34.880
<v Speaker 1>just don't know, like where you know, life is going ahead.

0:37:35.160 --> 0:37:35.839
<v Speaker 1>So that's one.

0:37:36.440 --> 0:37:36.640
<v Speaker 2>Two.

0:37:37.880 --> 0:37:40.600
<v Speaker 1>Shout out to John Lye. She listens to Brown ambitions.

0:37:40.600 --> 0:37:42.399
<v Speaker 1>She's been on my team for the last like four years.

0:37:42.440 --> 0:37:44.560
<v Speaker 1>She was like, I applied to be Mandy, to be

0:37:44.680 --> 0:37:47.560
<v Speaker 1>coached by Mandy. She's even try to use your name

0:37:47.600 --> 0:37:49.200
<v Speaker 1>to be like, you know, I work with the budget list.

0:37:51.880 --> 0:37:53.720
<v Speaker 1>She said that I was just talking about John Elyse

0:37:54.360 --> 0:37:56.960
<v Speaker 1>on like last Friday or whatever. She was like, she

0:37:57.080 --> 0:38:03.360
<v Speaker 1>didn't choose, not done choosing. That's not true. I have

0:38:03.560 --> 0:38:04.360
<v Speaker 1>my own system.

0:38:04.560 --> 0:38:06.719
<v Speaker 2>I haven't weeded anyone out, but I sorted them in

0:38:06.760 --> 0:38:11.080
<v Speaker 2>a certain way. The earlier you applied and the sooner

0:38:11.120 --> 0:38:14.040
<v Speaker 2>you said you wanted to switch jobs. That is that's

0:38:14.120 --> 0:38:15.560
<v Speaker 2>how I prioritize. I'm only.

0:38:17.480 --> 0:38:22.200
<v Speaker 1>As you still got you love I finally all the

0:38:22.239 --> 0:38:24.560
<v Speaker 1>things that Mandy's doing online. She was like, first of all,

0:38:24.600 --> 0:38:27.839
<v Speaker 1>she has been listening to Brown Ambition from the very

0:38:28.200 --> 0:38:32.040
<v Speaker 1>literally episode one, and so she is like a huge fan.

0:38:32.160 --> 0:38:34.160
<v Speaker 1>She's like, oh my god, I love Mandy. I can't

0:38:34.160 --> 0:38:36.040
<v Speaker 1>believe she finally left. I felt like she was like,

0:38:36.200 --> 0:38:38.239
<v Speaker 1>it was so crazy the way she was starting about you, like,

0:38:38.600 --> 0:38:40.759
<v Speaker 1>can you believe she finally left corporate? That is real

0:38:40.840 --> 0:38:41.759
<v Speaker 1>crazy because I know.

0:38:41.840 --> 0:38:47.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm like you are fans fourteen she said she wouldn't.

0:38:49.360 --> 0:38:51.680
<v Speaker 1>And then third, a woman emailed me today. I was

0:38:51.719 --> 0:38:55.960
<v Speaker 1>on this podcast with I forget Tory's last name, of

0:38:56.600 --> 0:38:59.440
<v Speaker 1>her her first her first one hundred K. It's called

0:38:59.480 --> 0:39:02.879
<v Speaker 1>Financial Faneminist, and we talked about like the wealth gap,

0:39:03.160 --> 0:39:05.040
<v Speaker 1>and a woman emailed me after hearing me on that

0:39:05.160 --> 0:39:08.239
<v Speaker 1>podcast and said, I am a white woman. I am

0:39:08.360 --> 0:39:11.000
<v Speaker 1>in Portland, Maine, and I have a bakery and it's

0:39:11.080 --> 0:39:14.120
<v Speaker 1>getting larger. And I heard what you said about people

0:39:14.239 --> 0:39:17.640
<v Speaker 1>making an effort to really like be make their hiring

0:39:17.719 --> 0:39:20.400
<v Speaker 1>practices more accessible to other people. And she was like,

0:39:20.480 --> 0:39:22.640
<v Speaker 1>I want to do that. I don't know how, and

0:39:22.760 --> 0:39:25.120
<v Speaker 1>so I gave her some suggestions, and one of them

0:39:25.360 --> 0:39:29.480
<v Speaker 1>was that almost every profession has a black or brown

0:39:29.520 --> 0:39:33.640
<v Speaker 1>association attached to it, Like there's the Black Association of Accountants,

0:39:33.719 --> 0:39:36.640
<v Speaker 1>a Black Association of you know, I don't know, like

0:39:37.360 --> 0:39:40.160
<v Speaker 1>you know Manicuria. Yes, And I told her you can

0:39:40.200 --> 0:39:42.239
<v Speaker 1>find the Black Association of Bakers. I promise you that

0:39:42.360 --> 0:39:44.200
<v Speaker 1>there is, and then you can reach out to them

0:39:44.239 --> 0:39:47.680
<v Speaker 1>and say, hey, are you know I'm I'm interviewing and

0:39:47.719 --> 0:39:50.920
<v Speaker 1>I would like to be inclusive in my interviewing and

0:39:51.160 --> 0:39:53.040
<v Speaker 1>you know where could I find folks where I am?

0:39:53.160 --> 0:39:54.600
<v Speaker 1>So I just thought that that was, like, you know,

0:39:55.120 --> 0:39:58.200
<v Speaker 1>like that that is a way that you can be inclusive,

0:39:58.320 --> 0:40:00.160
<v Speaker 1>because I think a lot of people think too when

0:40:00.160 --> 0:40:03.680
<v Speaker 1>they're hiring black or brown, that you're doing somebody a favor. No, sis,

0:40:04.600 --> 0:40:07.600
<v Speaker 1>you're not. You are you are doing yourself a favor

0:40:08.080 --> 0:40:11.800
<v Speaker 1>because you're looking for qualified applicants in a wider pool.

0:40:12.080 --> 0:40:13.920
<v Speaker 1>You're not doing like I guess you can come on

0:40:14.040 --> 0:40:17.239
<v Speaker 1>with your you know, non professional self now. And so

0:40:17.400 --> 0:40:18.839
<v Speaker 1>like that was like, you know, that's something I wrote

0:40:18.840 --> 0:40:20.440
<v Speaker 1>to her to make sure that she understands that you're

0:40:20.480 --> 0:40:23.480
<v Speaker 1>bringing folks on because they are highly qualified. But the

0:40:23.560 --> 0:40:25.719
<v Speaker 1>blessing is you get a wider pool of people that

0:40:25.800 --> 0:40:28.440
<v Speaker 1>you get to lean into. So that's it. But and

0:40:28.520 --> 0:40:30.840
<v Speaker 1>my boost is actually really fast. My boost is just

0:40:31.040 --> 0:40:33.160
<v Speaker 1>like your girl's gonna be a Target.

0:40:37.400 --> 0:40:39.120
<v Speaker 2>I was just in there and I was book the

0:40:39.160 --> 0:40:41.880
<v Speaker 2>other day. I thought, you Target, this is amazing.

0:40:42.520 --> 0:40:44.320
<v Speaker 1>So Target, if any, I mean, first of all, I

0:40:44.360 --> 0:40:46.120
<v Speaker 1>love Target. I'm wearing like Target tights right now. I

0:40:46.120 --> 0:40:49.919
<v Speaker 1>think the shortage from Target Target right, I love Target.

0:40:50.000 --> 0:40:51.880
<v Speaker 1>You go in there and literally just smile. You're like,

0:40:51.920 --> 0:40:54.560
<v Speaker 1>it's my happy place. And I wanted to be in

0:40:54.600 --> 0:40:56.960
<v Speaker 1>Target from the very beginning with Gega with Money my

0:40:57.200 --> 0:41:00.560
<v Speaker 1>my new New York Times bestseller. But the thing about

0:41:00.600 --> 0:41:03.719
<v Speaker 1>Target is, you know, Target is not a bookstore. So

0:41:03.800 --> 0:41:06.759
<v Speaker 1>if you ever go to the Target book section, I

0:41:06.840 --> 0:41:08.960
<v Speaker 1>mean it's like two half shelves, you.

0:41:09.000 --> 0:41:12.600
<v Speaker 2>Know, so there are only bestsellers basically, and some romance

0:41:12.640 --> 0:41:13.520
<v Speaker 2>novels exactly.

0:41:13.640 --> 0:41:15.759
<v Speaker 1>And then so what you'll see more heavily. Sometimes you'll

0:41:15.760 --> 0:41:18.520
<v Speaker 1>see kids books there because it like it lends himself

0:41:18.560 --> 0:41:20.759
<v Speaker 1>to that. But the truth is Target doesn't have a

0:41:20.880 --> 0:41:23.359
<v Speaker 1>huge book section because it's not a bookstore. So it's

0:41:23.480 --> 0:41:26.279
<v Speaker 1>not easy getting into Target, not by a long shot,

0:41:26.320 --> 0:41:29.399
<v Speaker 1>even if you have a bestseller, cause they're like, sis,

0:41:29.520 --> 0:41:31.520
<v Speaker 1>there are maybe there might be two hundred best sellers.

0:41:31.560 --> 0:41:34.279
<v Speaker 1>We can't put two hundred books out here. But they

0:41:34.400 --> 0:41:36.680
<v Speaker 1>reached out to my publisher was like, we're doing this

0:41:36.880 --> 0:41:41.279
<v Speaker 1>like wellness like component for September and we want to

0:41:41.400 --> 0:41:44.279
<v Speaker 1>showcase get it with money because we think it's part

0:41:44.360 --> 0:41:48.320
<v Speaker 1>of like well I was like, not targ show. So

0:41:49.080 --> 0:41:51.840
<v Speaker 1>if you want to see me acting a full I suggest.

0:41:51.920 --> 0:41:54.640
<v Speaker 1>So my content team was like, Tiffany, we need you

0:41:54.719 --> 0:41:57.720
<v Speaker 1>to go to Target and take some videos and pictures.

0:41:57.719 --> 0:41:59.120
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, it's not in there yet. They're like, yeah,

0:41:59.120 --> 0:42:01.480
<v Speaker 1>we need ahead of time. So I packed five of

0:42:01.560 --> 0:42:04.080
<v Speaker 1>my books into my bag. I dragged one of my besties,

0:42:04.160 --> 0:42:06.120
<v Speaker 1>Cabral I said We're going to Target and act a fool.

0:42:06.160 --> 0:42:08.960
<v Speaker 1>He's like what, I'm like, just come. So I put

0:42:09.000 --> 0:42:11.719
<v Speaker 1>my books on the shelf and at first we were

0:42:11.760 --> 0:42:14.239
<v Speaker 1>taking pictures, but that seems a little too boring. I

0:42:14.440 --> 0:42:16.960
<v Speaker 1>was like, I feel like it's not reading Target. What

0:42:17.120 --> 0:42:21.080
<v Speaker 1>is iconic Target the cart So at my big age,

0:42:21.440 --> 0:42:24.520
<v Speaker 1>I climbed into the Yes, I climbed into the cart

0:42:25.040 --> 0:42:27.040
<v Speaker 1>and I asked a poor stock boy who looked like,

0:42:27.080 --> 0:42:28.799
<v Speaker 1>please don't get me fired. I was like, I'm going

0:42:28.840 --> 0:42:30.959
<v Speaker 1>to need you to push me pack past this section

0:42:31.080 --> 0:42:34.960
<v Speaker 1>of books while he takes a boomerang, and so he's like,

0:42:35.040 --> 0:42:36.920
<v Speaker 1>as long as my manager doesn't see. So if you

0:42:37.040 --> 0:42:41.280
<v Speaker 1>want to see my target shenanigans, go to my Instagram

0:42:41.320 --> 0:42:44.160
<v Speaker 1>page to a budgetissa And you know I don't post

0:42:44.200 --> 0:42:45.879
<v Speaker 1>a whole lot, so it should be within the first

0:42:45.920 --> 0:42:48.280
<v Speaker 1>few posts that you can see me inside the target

0:42:48.360 --> 0:42:52.200
<v Speaker 1>cart just acting crazy. And so by September, by the

0:42:52.239 --> 0:42:55.040
<v Speaker 1>time this comes out on Wednesday, it should be in

0:42:55.160 --> 0:42:57.880
<v Speaker 1>your Target stores. I'm going to go see obviously, and

0:42:58.280 --> 0:42:59.880
<v Speaker 1>if it's in New Jersey, I'm going to go to

0:43:00.000 --> 0:43:02.480
<v Speaker 1>a few of the Target stores do like mini meetups

0:43:02.520 --> 0:43:04.400
<v Speaker 1>in the aisles. So I'll just let you guys know

0:43:05.200 --> 0:43:08.600
<v Speaker 1>when the time cometh. So yeah, I'm just excited.

0:43:09.719 --> 0:43:12.360
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, that is so freaking amazing.

0:43:12.400 --> 0:43:13.240
<v Speaker 1>Isn't that crazy?

0:43:13.640 --> 0:43:16.480
<v Speaker 2>It is the gift that keeps on giving. The long tail.

0:43:16.600 --> 0:43:18.279
<v Speaker 2>It was not just like a one hit wonder. It

0:43:18.320 --> 0:43:20.880
<v Speaker 2>feels like we're it got all the buzz and everyone

0:43:20.920 --> 0:43:23.120
<v Speaker 2>got it because you're on GMA, but it clearly is

0:43:23.160 --> 0:43:26.080
<v Speaker 2>still having an impact, which is just feel like, if

0:43:26.120 --> 0:43:28.600
<v Speaker 2>you're only gonna do the one which you say, you know.

0:43:28.840 --> 0:43:31.480
<v Speaker 1>Maybe we'll see. But if I'm gonna do the one

0:43:31.719 --> 0:43:32.360
<v Speaker 1>I wanted.

0:43:32.160 --> 0:43:35.600
<v Speaker 2>To be after I pushed that baby out of mine

0:43:35.640 --> 0:43:38.239
<v Speaker 2>own Vagina by two said that would be it. But

0:43:38.480 --> 0:43:43.000
<v Speaker 2>just recently, just recently, I have been feeling pangs that

0:43:43.120 --> 0:43:45.440
<v Speaker 2>I never thought my body would. I was like you

0:43:45.880 --> 0:43:49.479
<v Speaker 2>and me, we agree never again. But I'm just saying,

0:43:49.560 --> 0:43:51.960
<v Speaker 2>if it's anything like having a baby, you might you

0:43:52.040 --> 0:43:52.319
<v Speaker 2>might be.

0:43:52.360 --> 0:43:53.799
<v Speaker 1>Thinking I know it too.

0:43:54.440 --> 0:43:57.040
<v Speaker 2>We'll see you, little Sole often. See what happened?

0:43:59.560 --> 0:44:03.000
<v Speaker 1>All right, y'all? That is the shizzle. We hope that

0:44:03.080 --> 0:44:07.719
<v Speaker 1>you enjoyed as per huge. Don't forget that this show

0:44:07.800 --> 0:44:09.840
<v Speaker 1>is not just for you. Don't be selfish. You to

0:44:09.960 --> 0:44:12.719
<v Speaker 1>take this link and put in that group chat sis,

0:44:13.560 --> 0:44:15.920
<v Speaker 1>email it to your friend, send it to your sister,

0:44:16.040 --> 0:44:18.759
<v Speaker 1>your mother, your brother, your cousin. Literally the link of

0:44:18.840 --> 0:44:20.520
<v Speaker 1>the show. If you got your life, you know they

0:44:20.600 --> 0:44:20.960
<v Speaker 1>will too.

0:44:22.080 --> 0:44:24.719
<v Speaker 2>And these two friends about at least two can do that.

0:44:25.719 --> 0:44:25.919
<v Speaker 3>Yes.

0:44:26.200 --> 0:44:27.200
<v Speaker 1>Well, first of all, if we have.

0:44:27.200 --> 0:44:28.960
<v Speaker 2>A lot of new listeners, it feels like go to

0:44:29.120 --> 0:44:31.279
<v Speaker 2>Apple or wherever you listen to podcasts, leave us a

0:44:31.320 --> 0:44:34.760
<v Speaker 2>five star review if you're feeling you know, feeling generous.

0:44:35.200 --> 0:44:37.120
<v Speaker 2>If it's anything less than five, you can just go

0:44:37.400 --> 0:44:42.440
<v Speaker 2>to the fridge and grab a snack because maybe you

0:44:42.640 --> 0:44:45.640
<v Speaker 2>just need to Maybe you just need a quick snack

0:44:45.680 --> 0:44:47.880
<v Speaker 2>and a stretch, and then go leave me five start

0:44:49.800 --> 0:44:52.200
<v Speaker 2>and don't forget. Friday is our b a QA.

0:44:52.800 --> 0:44:56.319
<v Speaker 1>Yes, if you have a question taking your questions, Yes,

0:44:56.400 --> 0:45:00.040
<v Speaker 1>you could d m us on Instagram. What is on

0:45:00.040 --> 0:45:01.920
<v Speaker 1>Ambition podcast on? It's no brand and vision.

0:45:02.920 --> 0:45:04.560
<v Speaker 2>You know, on the very first episode of the show,

0:45:04.719 --> 0:45:07.000
<v Speaker 2>you couldn't name the email address and I had to

0:45:07.040 --> 0:45:09.040
<v Speaker 2>fill it in and I was like, if there's one

0:45:09.120 --> 0:45:13.080
<v Speaker 2>thing we're consistent, it is at brand Ambission podcast on IG.

0:45:13.520 --> 0:45:15.640
<v Speaker 2>But earlier, do you just pull out our Twitter handle

0:45:15.880 --> 0:45:18.200
<v Speaker 2>like for the first time, you know, we knew that

0:45:18.239 --> 0:45:19.200
<v Speaker 2>little nugget was in there.

0:45:19.600 --> 0:45:21.840
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes things just come up. I mean my brain, my

0:45:21.960 --> 0:45:23.640
<v Speaker 1>brain will will tweet a little, just turn on and

0:45:23.680 --> 0:45:24.839
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh my gosh, she's here.

0:45:26.719 --> 0:45:30.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So we'll see you guys Friday, and stay tuned

0:45:30.120 --> 0:45:32.000
<v Speaker 2>to IG because we are going to be putting out

0:45:32.040 --> 0:45:35.360
<v Speaker 2>a special invitation to some very lucky Brand Ambision listeners

0:45:35.400 --> 0:45:37.640
<v Speaker 2>who may get to join us on an upcoming episode

0:45:37.800 --> 0:45:41.680
<v Speaker 2>live in our virtual studio audience, So stay tuned if

0:45:41.680 --> 0:45:44.279
<v Speaker 2>you want to enter. Maybe she'll Jotta Lee. Was that

0:45:44.360 --> 0:45:47.479
<v Speaker 2>her name? Jott lese Jattalyse Data stutt Lest, Maybe she'll

0:45:47.840 --> 0:45:50.360
<v Speaker 2>get into the she'll work that budget Easter name, and

0:45:50.480 --> 0:45:54.080
<v Speaker 2>maybe producer Sarah will get her to the VIP access.

0:45:56.120 --> 0:45:59.120
<v Speaker 1>All right, y'all, until next time. See you on Wednesday,

0:45:59.239 --> 0:46:01.040
<v Speaker 1>but then also on Friday for b a q A

0:46:01.360 --> 0:46:01.640
<v Speaker 1>see You