WEBVTT - How Two Sisters Are Redefining Dating for the Disability Community 0:00:14.000 --> 0:00:14.960 Personally with. 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:19.639 Ygan Fuelsman. I know some of you may be bummed 0:00:19.680 --> 0:00:22.520 that the Boyfriend Birthday series is over, and I'm not 0:00:22.560 --> 0:00:24.919 saying the Boyfriend won't be back another time or two, 0:00:24.960 --> 0:00:28.160 but we got to get back to some regularly scheduled programming. 0:00:28.400 --> 0:00:30.280 The series kind of came out of nowhere. I wasn't 0:00:30.320 --> 0:00:32.320 exactly sure how I was going to place these, but 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:35.720 it ended up being so perfect. So for this episode 0:00:35.800 --> 0:00:39.760 and for next, I have two groups of sisters. One 0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:42.680 group of sisters created an app that's changing the way 0:00:42.760 --> 0:00:46.720 people date, especially in the chronic illness and disability community, 0:00:47.000 --> 0:00:49.720 and the other group of sisters is changing the world 0:00:49.840 --> 0:00:53.000 with human trafficking survivors and helping them get back on 0:00:53.040 --> 0:00:55.600 their feet. So both of these two sets of sisters 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:58.520 have done incredible things. This week, you're gonna hear from 0:00:58.600 --> 0:01:02.120 Jacqueline and Alexa Child. They founded the app Datability, and 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:04.520 it's something that I think everybody can get on board with, 0:01:04.720 --> 0:01:08.039 not even if you're in the dating space anymore, but 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:10.479 maybe you know somebody who is. I think this app 0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:14.080 will be a great foundation for a whole lot of people. So, 0:01:14.520 --> 0:01:25.400 without further ado, let's get into this interview. Sisters, Jacqueline 0:01:25.440 --> 0:01:27.479 and Alexa Child are joining me this week, and I'm 0:01:27.480 --> 0:01:31.280 really excited because they've created something so awesome. So first 0:01:31.280 --> 0:01:33.520 of all, Jacqueline Alexa, thank you guys for joining me. 0:01:33.680 --> 0:01:35.760 Thank you so much for having us. You're really excited. 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:38.800 I can't wait to hear this whole story. So you 0:01:38.840 --> 0:01:41.640 guys created an app called Datability, and I don't even 0:01:41.680 --> 0:01:44.560 want to say anything without you guys just sharing your 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:46.640 story and this app and what it is. So let's 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:50.280 start there. Tell everyone how this even got created. Who 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:51.680 you guys are, all that good stuff. 0:01:51.760 --> 0:01:55.360 So Datability is the only dating app for disabled and 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:59.160 chronically ill people, And it came about because of my 0:01:59.480 --> 0:02:03.000 personal experiences dating as a disabled woman. And so I 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:06.240 became disabled due to chronic illnesses when I was fourteen, 0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:10.640 and once I entered adulthood and started using the dating apps, 0:02:10.880 --> 0:02:14.480 I found that dating with a disability is really hard 0:02:14.720 --> 0:02:20.680 and intimidating and negative, just overall toxic. And I couldn't 0:02:20.680 --> 0:02:23.800 believe that there wasn't a place to meet people like me, 0:02:24.240 --> 0:02:27.040 Like the only places that felt like you could meet 0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:30.640 other chronically ill or disabled people was like support groups 0:02:30.760 --> 0:02:34.880 or like clinical settings, and that just wasn't my vibe, 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:38.120 and so we really wanted to create a place where 0:02:38.320 --> 0:02:42.040 people could meet others and connect and just really make 0:02:42.120 --> 0:02:45.480 dating an equitable experience for our community. 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:48.880 Wow yeah, and talk about something that's going from your 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:51.239 own personal experience and then trying to create a better 0:02:51.280 --> 0:02:53.960 situation not just for you but for others. So you 0:02:54.160 --> 0:02:56.880 have this experience, what was that like for you when 0:02:56.919 --> 0:02:58.920 you were dating and you were going out and you 0:02:59.120 --> 0:03:01.560 did have a disabilit What was that experience like for you? 0:03:01.840 --> 0:03:02.720 It was it was. 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:07.360 Tricky because I have invisible disabilities. I mean I appear 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:11.959 totally non disabled on the outside. If I'm fully clothed 0:03:12.000 --> 0:03:15.440 and just walking down the street, someone would never know 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:19.400 I was disabled. So I had sort of the blessing 0:03:19.400 --> 0:03:23.200 and the curse where I could hide it. But then 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:26.360 what does that mean for when it is time to disclose? 0:03:26.480 --> 0:03:29.040 And how would I do that? How much would I tell? 0:03:29.919 --> 0:03:34.360 And so sometimes I would just really like nonchalantly mention it, 0:03:34.560 --> 0:03:38.320 and it almost always backfired and the person would end 0:03:38.400 --> 0:03:42.600 up rejecting me. Sometimes I would be totally honest and 0:03:43.120 --> 0:03:48.040 really tell them I have undergone over forty surgeries and 0:03:48.080 --> 0:03:52.119 this is my reality, and that would also result in rejection. 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:55.160 And you know, there were I did start dating one 0:03:55.200 --> 0:03:58.720 guy and he seemed to be pretty accepting, and then 0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:02.520 when he told his a mom that I was disabled, 0:04:02.720 --> 0:04:06.040 she was not accepting and she convinced him to break 0:04:06.120 --> 0:04:07.960 up with me and end it because she said she 0:04:08.000 --> 0:04:10.920 didn't want her son to have to live a miserable 0:04:10.920 --> 0:04:14.000 life dating someone with medical conditions. 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:18.039 And I imagine the turmoil that you went through emotionally 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:18.920 because of that. 0:04:19.360 --> 0:04:22.560 Just you have been the one who's had this lived experience. 0:04:22.600 --> 0:04:25.600 You're the person who's been in the entire situation the 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:27.680 whole time. You know what it entails, and you know 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:30.560 you didn't need people to tell you, but I can 0:04:30.680 --> 0:04:34.359 imagine that that emotional toll that that took on you, 0:04:34.440 --> 0:04:36.119 that every time you had to keep your living. 0:04:36.160 --> 0:04:39.279 It was also hard, absolutely and it really affected my 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:40.000 self esteem. 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:42.600 I it just became this like shell of a person. 0:04:42.880 --> 0:04:47.160 I didn't want to be curious or explore my surroundings. 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:49.479 I was like, I like people put me in the 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:52.720 box of being a disabled person and that's where I'm 0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:54.120 going to stay, and. 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:56.600 That's really like all I should be known for. 0:04:56.839 --> 0:04:59.720 And it was really hard, and it took a couple 0:04:59.760 --> 0:05:01.960 of years years, and it actually really kind of took 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:05.640 the pandemic to get me out out of that rut 0:05:05.680 --> 0:05:11.520 and just sort of explore and be be more curious 0:05:11.560 --> 0:05:14.080 about what life looks like living with a disability. 0:05:14.760 --> 0:05:15.039 Yeah. 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:18.400 Absolutely. Now, Alexa, where do you come into the picture 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:20.720 into this. From what I've read, you do not have 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:22.960 a disability. But what's your role in all of this? 0:05:23.320 --> 0:05:24.080 Yeah, I do not. 0:05:24.600 --> 0:05:26.760 I don't have a disability or chronic illness. But I'm 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:30.160 Jacqueline's older sister. I'm older by four years in twelve days, 0:05:30.320 --> 0:05:34.560 and so I'm very protective and always have been. And 0:05:34.600 --> 0:05:37.320 I think that that protectiveness, you know, increased when she 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:40.240 got sick and had I saw her going through struggles 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:42.440 that I had never witnessed before, you know, with friends 0:05:42.480 --> 0:05:45.440 or other family members. We've lived together. When after she 0:05:45.480 --> 0:05:49.080 graduated college, she moved in with me in Denver, and 0:05:49.120 --> 0:05:51.360 that's when she started dating and getting told these things 0:05:51.400 --> 0:05:55.440 and going through these experiences, and they were completely opposite 0:05:55.440 --> 0:05:57.680 from my dating experiences. 0:05:57.760 --> 0:06:00.719 Dating does stuck across the board and it's hard. 0:06:01.000 --> 0:06:02.719 But I never had to worry about the things that 0:06:02.760 --> 0:06:05.720 she was worrying about, you know, whether I'd be discriminated 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:09.240 against because of a diagnosis, or if I would even 0:06:09.279 --> 0:06:11.359 make it to the first date based on talking to 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:13.599 me on the apps. And so it really it was 0:06:13.680 --> 0:06:16.080 sad to watch her go through this and to change 0:06:16.160 --> 0:06:18.839 and to you know, feel less than and then to 0:06:18.880 --> 0:06:22.040 see her date guys who liked her that were so 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:22.920 out of her. 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:24.240 She was way out of their league. 0:06:24.520 --> 0:06:26.680 They were out of ear league too, but they did 0:06:26.760 --> 0:06:28.400 not deserve her at all, not worthy. 0:06:28.760 --> 0:06:29.760 It bugged me. 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:32.520 And then the pandemic hit and I ended up losing 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:35.600 my job due to COVID related budget cuts, and Jacqueline 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:38.120 was getting a feeding tube, and it made me panic 0:06:38.160 --> 0:06:40.359 a little bit about what her social life and especially 0:06:40.440 --> 0:06:43.880 dating would look like after that. And that's when I said, like, 0:06:43.960 --> 0:06:46.440 let's make this space that you've been looking for ourselves. 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:48.360 No one else is going to do it, clearly, and 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:49.320 so let's just do it. 0:06:49.440 --> 0:06:51.760 I'm a lawyer, so I maybe we can either create 0:06:51.800 --> 0:06:54.520 or solve problems, and I'm the ladder and most of 0:06:54.520 --> 0:06:56.920 the time, and so we that's what we did, and 0:06:57.560 --> 0:06:59.920 we planned it when she was in the hospital recovering 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:01.200 our feeding too surgery. 0:07:01.240 --> 0:07:04.320 Wow, okay, so you are in the hospital, you just 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:07.440 had your feeding tube surgery. You're thinking about, okay, what 0:07:07.960 --> 0:07:10.240 this lifestyle change is doing. But also at the same time, 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:11.800 you guys were like, how do we create an app 0:07:11.800 --> 0:07:12.720 to help other people? 0:07:12.920 --> 0:07:15.120 Yeah, I mean that's pretty much it. 0:07:15.480 --> 0:07:18.880 We googled how to create I literally googled how do 0:07:18.920 --> 0:07:22.480 you build an app? Because I'm technologically challenged less so 0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:25.240 now but never I mean none of us have a 0:07:25.240 --> 0:07:28.560 technical background, so that was out of our wheelhouse. 0:07:28.840 --> 0:07:30.000 Yeah, it was a really. 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:33.600 Good distraction for recovery, and it gave me something to 0:07:33.640 --> 0:07:34.280 look forward to. 0:07:34.320 --> 0:07:39.600 It gave me this sense of purpose. And you know, we. 0:07:38.880 --> 0:07:40.680 We really didn't know what we were getting into, but 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:44.240 that was the start. That's the best low expectations. You know, 0:07:44.520 --> 0:07:47.120 you set the bar low, you're most likely going to 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:49.480 be pleasantly surprised or at least you won't be disappointed. 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:51.160 Yeah, and that's where we you know, that's where we 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:53.960 found ourselves. This has taking off way more than we expected. 0:07:54.080 --> 0:07:56.960 So then were you the first user on the app? 0:07:57.040 --> 0:08:01.920 Also, it's really funny technically, yes, but it's throughout all 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:04.400 of this I've learned that, you know, like creating a 0:08:04.440 --> 0:08:07.440 business is very time consuming and it doesn't leave that 0:08:07.560 --> 0:08:10.840 much time for dating, and so I haven't been able 0:08:10.880 --> 0:08:14.640 to use it as much as I wanted. But it 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:18.240 does feel different like dating because now I'm single by 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:20.560 choice and I'm dating on my terms. 0:08:20.600 --> 0:08:23.040 And before, like Alexa said, like I would, I would 0:08:23.080 --> 0:08:24.360 date anyone who wanted to date me. 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:28.320 My standards were very low, and now I feel like 0:08:28.400 --> 0:08:32.320 I can be picky and that's really important to me. 0:08:32.400 --> 0:08:35.760 And it's important for the community to have standards and 0:08:35.840 --> 0:08:39.160 to really just realize that they deserve the love that 0:08:39.240 --> 0:08:40.559 everyone else is looking. 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:43.040 For too well, and across the board in dating in general, 0:08:43.160 --> 0:08:45.600 it's easy for us to be convinced that our standards 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:48.319 need to be lowered due to the environment that's out 0:08:48.360 --> 0:08:50.880 there and what we see on social media. People are like, 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:54.440 lower your standards, you have too high of expectations, or well, 0:08:54.480 --> 0:08:57.560 that's normal. I remember when I was sitting in my 0:08:57.640 --> 0:09:01.240 therapist's office one time, and I had been cheated on 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:04.640 and pretty much every relationship I was in. I was like, so, 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:07.760 what I'm feeling is that I'm just gonna have to 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:10.160 be cheated on, right, Like, that's I just have to 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:13.280 accept that as part of my life. And she kept 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:15.680 repeating to me no, but that was my mentality, right. 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:18.079 And I think it's really sad in general in the 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:21.680 dating space that we've created this environment where you should 0:09:21.679 --> 0:09:24.400 expect to have lower standards and it's okay to have 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:27.280 lower standards when the reality is exactly what you're saying, 0:09:27.320 --> 0:09:31.359 Jacqueline is, especially with someone who's dealing with a disability 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:34.360 or a chronic illness, that the exception is what we 0:09:34.360 --> 0:09:36.040 should strive for, not the latter. 0:09:36.320 --> 0:09:39.080 Yeah, And people would always tell me like it would 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:44.920 take someone really special to like to date me. Basically 0:09:45.160 --> 0:09:50.680 that was like very weird thing to wrap my head around. 0:09:50.760 --> 0:09:53.440 I was like, I, I guess shouldn't take anyone like 0:09:53.720 --> 0:09:56.160 that really special to date me. But I also get 0:09:56.200 --> 0:10:00.160 it because like it, we are weeding out people who 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:03.120 will discriminate against you. But I mean, everyone deserves someone 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:04.320 really special. 0:10:04.520 --> 0:10:05.000 Think that. 0:10:05.559 --> 0:10:08.360 I mean, seeing all my friends get married, like some people, 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:11.640 they settle and it's really sad to see. And I 0:10:11.760 --> 0:10:14.320 decided that, like, I am not going to settle for 0:10:14.400 --> 0:10:18.880 anything that I deem less than. I mean, aside, I'm 0:10:18.880 --> 0:10:21.120 thirty five, and so most of my friends are married 0:10:21.200 --> 0:10:23.480 or getting married or in long term partnerships, and there's 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:26.160 this societal pressure for me to settle down. And I'm 0:10:26.200 --> 0:10:29.480 single and you know, working multiple jobs, and I just 0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:31.720 don't really have an interest right now. And I know 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:33.760 that person will be very special when they come along, 0:10:33.840 --> 0:10:36.360 because it'll finally be like good enough for me and 0:10:36.400 --> 0:10:39.160 like it'll fall right into place and it won't be hard. 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:42.280 But I think that there is this societal pressure for 0:10:42.360 --> 0:10:46.520 women even now, even in twenty twenty five, to get married, 0:10:46.559 --> 0:10:48.400 and then if you're still single, there's something like inherently 0:10:48.440 --> 0:10:50.520 wrong with you, and that's not true. 0:10:50.760 --> 0:10:52.920 So I could relate to that, but at the same 0:10:52.960 --> 0:10:53.920 time being like, no. 0:10:53.960 --> 0:10:57.760 Stop dating these duds, and you need to date somebody 0:10:57.880 --> 0:11:00.480 in your league who is worthy of you, who is special, 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:03.240 but not special because like you're so difficult to deal with. 0:11:03.320 --> 0:11:05.760 They're just special because they're good enough for you, exactly, 0:11:05.920 --> 0:11:07.160 and you do deserve that. 0:11:07.280 --> 0:11:09.840 And anybody who's dealing with someone like they're they're perfect 0:11:09.920 --> 0:11:13.640 match is out there. And to convince these this especially 0:11:13.640 --> 0:11:16.000 this group of people, that they aren't and that you 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:19.080 should settle is mind boggling to me. I will never 0:11:19.200 --> 0:11:21.840 understand that. I think everyone is deserving of love, and 0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:24.600 a special love at that. So I love that you 0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:30.400 guys have created this space. Now what makes the space 0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:33.200 on datability? Like, is there certain qualifications? There is there 0:11:33.280 --> 0:11:36.400 questions that ask what makes it different from a bumble 0:11:36.600 --> 0:11:39.040 or a hinge? What are the differences in those apps? 0:11:39.280 --> 0:11:41.960 We had that question when we first started building, right, 0:11:41.960 --> 0:11:44.439 like do we limited to just disabled and chronically old people? 0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:48.280 And then if so, how do we verify that? That's 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:52.320 one taking a really personal information health data and from 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:53.560 like a legal perspective. 0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:54.439 That made me nervous. 0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:57.360 And then also I think that there's so much gray 0:11:57.440 --> 0:12:01.480 area and disability and chronic illness that you know, there's 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:03.480 some people who are like, I don't know, you know, 0:12:03.840 --> 0:12:06.599 if I'm considered disabled, can I join? So we just 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:10.280 allow everyone to and whether they're disabled or not, you know, 0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:13.400 do a minor vetting process of every user to make 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:16.640 sure that they're not predatory or they're not scammers, and 0:12:16.679 --> 0:12:19.240 everyone is who they say they are. The non disabled 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:21.240 users we have are about seven to ten percent of 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:24.520 our user base, and their allies people with siblings who 0:12:24.520 --> 0:12:26.760 are disabled, or their work you know, they work with 0:12:26.800 --> 0:12:29.640 the disabled community. But yeah, I mean, I think it's 0:12:29.880 --> 0:12:32.440 we really we started that question, like that's the first 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:34.920 question we answered. We just wanted it to be open 0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:38.000 to everyone. The other apps can be so toxic and superficial. 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:40.240 So if you're not feeling the other apps, you can 0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:41.800 join Datability And. 0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:43.439 That's exactly what we wanted. 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:46.240 Yeah, and we wanted to solve that problem that I 0:12:46.360 --> 0:12:49.480 had with disclosure and how to tell and when to 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:52.360 tell someone about your chronic illnesses. And so obviously, like 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:56.800 if someone is joining Datability, they expect that our community 0:12:56.840 --> 0:13:00.680 is going to have or be accepting of disability. But 0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:03.920 we wanted to make it so that our users can 0:13:04.120 --> 0:13:07.280 present their chronic illness or disability in a really natural 0:13:07.320 --> 0:13:10.800 and neutral way. And so we created the Datability Deep 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:14.439 section and it's just like a vague list that the 0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:17.360 people can add to their profile, like their political affiliation 0:13:17.679 --> 0:13:20.680 or their education level. And we want it to be 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:24.240 just a part of who you are and not necessarily 0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:27.640 like a medical chart, but just yeah, just an extension. 0:13:27.160 --> 0:13:30.800 Of who you are and what your life looks like. 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:33.440 Yeah, So like when I used tolect, I have a 0:13:33.520 --> 0:13:36.559 dog and also I'm a female. This is what I'm 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:39.240 looking for. I also have this chronic illness. So it's 0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:42.200 like a statement rather than I feel like I have 0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:43.520 to disclose this information. 0:13:43.880 --> 0:13:44.760 Yeah, exactly. 0:13:44.920 --> 0:13:48.560 People have really said that that it's like takes all 0:13:48.600 --> 0:13:53.400 of anxiety out of disclosing because it's just there and 0:13:53.720 --> 0:13:55.400 you can put it on your profile and sort of 0:13:55.400 --> 0:13:58.839 forget about it, and you know if more details come 0:13:58.920 --> 0:14:01.000 up down the road when you're match. When you match 0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:03.640 with someone, you can disclose more, but it's just like 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:04.840 out there and. 0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:08.480 You know that it's up to the other users. 0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:10.400 I love that so much, And that's so cool to 0:14:10.480 --> 0:14:13.000 know that there's an app out there in general too, 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:16.480 because the apps can be very difficult in dating. I've 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:19.520 seen very many stages of it all and I've been 0:14:19.560 --> 0:14:22.000 on pretty much every app that existed before I got 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:24.640 into my relationship, and it's cool to know that there's 0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:27.720 more of a i would say, empathetic app in a 0:14:27.720 --> 0:14:31.600 way that you're just it's more sensitive, more understanding, more 0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:34.320 open minded, and it's cool to know that that exists. 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:35.880 And I think that's a space that a lot of 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:39.600 people outside of even the disability chronic illness community will 0:14:39.640 --> 0:14:42.240 love to know about, because it is dating's hard, and 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:44.680 when you have at least a multitude of options, at 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:46.960 least you can try different things, and maybe you're looking 0:14:47.320 --> 0:14:49.040 for the wrong type of people on one app, and 0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:51.520 maybe with datability you can find a different type of 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:52.560 people exactly. 0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:55.560 And you know, right now, obviously we're a smaller community 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:58.160 that compared to the other apps, and will always technically 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:01.080 be a smaller community, even though one in four people 0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:03.320 have some sort of disability in the United States and 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:05.800 it's the world's largest minority, like it will be, it's 0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:09.440 still a minority, right. But I think from my experiences 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:11.720 on like the Hinges and the Bumbles, when I would 0:15:11.840 --> 0:15:14.200 log on, there were so many options and I'm not 0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:16.760 really like a grass is Greener type of person, and 0:15:17.200 --> 0:15:18.800 but I know people are, and so I know that, 0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:22.640 like you know, makes the apps toxic and difficult to navigate, 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:25.400 But it still seems so daunting and overwhelming, Like it 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:27.960 just felt like I was there were just so many options, 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:31.080 like too many ice cream flavors. Yeah, yeah, I compare 0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:33.920 it like walking into a forever twenty one. That's exactly 0:15:33.960 --> 0:15:37.280 what I was gonna say, Like it's overwhelming, like you 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:41.200 could look, you could go around the most of it's cheap. 0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:45.040 I know exactly that there's too much. Yeah, I agree, 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:47.120 it is like that, like walking through like. 0:15:47.120 --> 0:15:48.960 I don't know, goodwill stresses me out for the same 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:51.560 reasons because it's like there's just too many things, and 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:53.880 I think that making you know, I look at my 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:56.480 parents and my grandparents and the way they met and 0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:59.000 they married for decades and our parents are still married. 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:01.200 A smaller community was how people met back in the 0:16:01.240 --> 0:16:04.600 day before the internet, and so we're trying to recreate 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:08.440 that but make it accessible by you know, providing this app. 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:10.280 Isn't that so funny when we look at that. 0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:13.360 I mean, obviously apps in general didn't exist, and a 0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:15.960 lot more people met in person, But isn't it wild 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:18.120 to think about that back in the day? 0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:20.120 Oh no, I'm so like that person. 0:16:20.720 --> 0:16:23.360 But back in the day, people were meeting just by 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:26.400 way of knowing somebody and they got connected in a 0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:29.800 certain way. And now we have this existence where we're like, dang, 0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:32.080 we have to keep creating apps because nobody wants to 0:16:32.160 --> 0:16:33.000 talk to each other. 0:16:33.280 --> 0:16:33.520 Yeah. 0:16:33.520 --> 0:16:36.040 I mean I think about like, our grandparents met at 0:16:36.080 --> 0:16:38.600 a dance, and if they weren't and not like a 0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:42.000 school dance, Yeah, they were in their early twenties. Yeah, 0:16:42.360 --> 0:16:45.240 like whatever the dances they had in the fifties and 0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:48.400 and like if they hadn't been at that place, like 0:16:48.440 --> 0:16:51.200 they would have never met, they would have never cross 0:16:51.280 --> 0:16:54.920 paths again, and it is that's just so wild. And yeah, now, 0:16:55.080 --> 0:16:58.200 like I mean, I'm terrified of speaking to people, like 0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:00.640 going up to people and just who I don't know 0:17:00.640 --> 0:17:03.960 and strangers and that's just how it all used to be. 0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:07.399 And I wish I could be a little more confident 0:17:07.600 --> 0:17:11.480 in that and meet people online or offline. But mine 0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:15.720 is accessible and it's convenient and I can do it 0:17:15.760 --> 0:17:17.240 for my pajamas on my couch. 0:17:17.400 --> 0:17:19.399 Well, and that's what I was gonna ask too, because 0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:22.520 I'm you know, it's hard in general for people to 0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:25.919 want to talk in person. Irl is like this you 0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:28.960 know fantasy we think that we'll talk and connect with people, 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:32.440 and it's just really difficult, especially today for some reasons. 0:17:32.520 --> 0:17:34.840 But is there an added layer of that for you 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:38.359 with having the disability where you just start even a 0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:40.600 little bit more shy and don't want to put yourself 0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:41.960 in those positions as much. 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:45.760 Yeah, I think it comes down to like both from 0:17:46.040 --> 0:17:50.520 like a physical standpoint, like if I am in a 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:54.399 flare and I'm really tired and I'm you know, my 0:17:54.480 --> 0:17:57.280 body is really hurting and I'm at home like that 0:17:57.359 --> 0:18:00.879 obviously still gives me the opportunity to connect with people, 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:05.560 and that's something I'm really grateful for and definitely like 0:18:05.640 --> 0:18:09.520 when I go out, like yeah, I mean, having a 0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:13.040 disability can really affect your confidence and your body image 0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:16.639 and just like your self esteem. And so it does 0:18:17.040 --> 0:18:21.320 put that added pressure on to to try to meet someone, 0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:25.639 and it's and it's just like having to waiting for 0:18:25.920 --> 0:18:27.840 the other shoot a drop sort of is like when 0:18:27.840 --> 0:18:29.560 you're when you meet someone. 0:18:29.840 --> 0:18:31.399 Yeah, it feels a little bit better when it's just 0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:33.560 all out there and you don't have to quite as 0:18:33.560 --> 0:18:34.560 have that conversation. 0:18:34.920 --> 0:18:35.400 Definitely. 0:18:35.520 --> 0:18:38.040 Yeah, maybe one day we'll walk around with like hologram 0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:40.160 dating profiles like on our chest. 0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:43.600 They won't have ability. Yeah. 0:18:43.720 --> 0:18:45.960 I mean I always say, like I really would like 0:18:46.000 --> 0:18:49.000 to order my partner on Amazon, and I guess a 0:18:49.119 --> 0:18:51.800 dating app is the closest thing that forget. 0:18:51.600 --> 0:18:53.640 It very much? Is It's that joke that you often 0:18:53.680 --> 0:18:56.120 see in comment sections where somebody's like, did you order 0:18:56.160 --> 0:18:57.800 that off Amazon? Where do I find one? 0:18:58.040 --> 0:18:59.040 Yes? Very much? 0:18:59.080 --> 0:19:03.720 So. Now Alexa, for you, I'm so curious this side 0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:06.280 of it where you did have the mama bear instinct 0:19:06.359 --> 0:19:08.760 where you were protective over her and you were wanting 0:19:08.800 --> 0:19:10.840 to make things better for her and didn't know how 0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:13.560 this is a new avenue for you guys to do that. 0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:15.280 But what is that like. 0:19:15.320 --> 0:19:18.119 Supporting someone going through that? Because I know there's a 0:19:18.119 --> 0:19:20.000 lot of people out there who are also in your 0:19:20.040 --> 0:19:23.080 shoes and trying to support, whether it's a loved one 0:19:23.160 --> 0:19:26.920 a friend. However, maybe you have some insight to share 0:19:27.040 --> 0:19:30.000 that's from that perspective that people might want to hear 0:19:30.119 --> 0:19:30.760 or need to hear. 0:19:31.000 --> 0:19:33.240