Speaker 1: Forever. Look man, oh I see you? Why why? And
Speaker 1: look over there? How is that nulture? Yeah? Goodness, ding
Speaker 1: dongs culture. I'm so aaron shocked by your behavior, by
Speaker 1: my behavior, I have been. I have been very aeron shocked.
Speaker 1: I've probably portrayed the community in many in many different ways.
Speaker 1: Have you ever felt your dick move to a picture
Speaker 1: of him? No? Truly, no, truly, now you can't even
Speaker 1: got to that he is. So this is the thing,
Speaker 1: And this might not make sense to you because he
Speaker 1: might fit into a certain mental model of what you
Speaker 1: might like. You're a bit truly, that was so bland.
Speaker 1: You think so bland, even just physically. It's like like
Speaker 1: there's a more interesting version of this somewhere else. I
Speaker 1: think you're definitely right, although I will say me as
Speaker 1: a Long Island I get it is at it. I
Speaker 1: am who I am type person. There is no way
Speaker 1: I'm going to see someone like that and my body
Speaker 1: at least not respond. But here's what my mind says,
Speaker 1: absolutely not okay, Grecac. He's very harmful to the community,
Speaker 1: and we're here to announce that on most culture restas
Speaker 1: right now, for the very first time, you're hearing from us.
Speaker 1: If you were on the fence about Aaron Shock, it's
Speaker 1: time to jump over that fence time, which is what
Speaker 1: happens with the fence. You have to jump over it
Speaker 1: because at this point we're here to say Aaron Shock
Speaker 1: is harmful to the community. Aaron Shock is canceled. It's
Speaker 1: actually all of culture number four, Aaron Shock is canceled
Speaker 1: right here and now, I mean, there's just a lot
Speaker 1: more to there's a lot more to talk about with Aaron.
Speaker 1: We don't we we cannot get into it. Well, can
Speaker 1: we just say that we turned a corner? What you
Speaker 1: and I? You and I because you texted me and
Speaker 1: you said, oh MG, you were following Aaron Shock on
Speaker 1: instead because somebody, an alleged fan, screenshotted and the fact
Speaker 1: that I was and I did not remember that I
Speaker 1: was following on Instagram. Actually, and this person, if they're listening,
Speaker 1: and I have no problem putting them on blast, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to name them, but that was kind of shitty.
Speaker 1: That was kind of shifty. You should not have screenshot
Speaker 1: at it to what rubbing Matt's face that he did
Speaker 1: this shitty thing. That didn't make me feel good. It
Speaker 1: didn't and Honestly, it didn't make me even I was like,
Speaker 1: oh no, well, because then it's like, what are you
Speaker 1: trying to do. You're trying to trying to make me
Speaker 1: look bad? Like you know, I mean, the only thing
Speaker 1: I said was on Twitter at least, was just all caps. Matt,
Speaker 1: and I text you, were you really following Aaron chuck
Speaker 1: On instead? Truly, it must have been one of those
Speaker 1: things where it's like you follow someone because they are
Speaker 1: a car wreck, or you followed for someone because honestly,
Speaker 1: maybe I don't know, maybe it was just a thing
Speaker 1: like he made my dick move once and I followed him.
Speaker 1: I follow a lot of people have no brain And
Speaker 1: there you go and bitch, thank you for running up
Speaker 1: to that, because if you were deflecting it and saying
Speaker 1: it was for some other bullshit reason, then I would
Speaker 1: be like, well, I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna I
Speaker 1: have a penis, a working gay penis. I have a penis.
Speaker 1: It works that it's it responds to simula and yeah,
Speaker 1: and oftentimes that stimuli can be a toxic sname. Yes
Speaker 1: in the ground, I guess what's in that working gay
Speaker 1: penis of yours? Cartilage? Honey, and blood vessels. Now and
Speaker 1: it gets hard. Now I'm very upset. And when you
Speaker 1: think about Aaron Shock, the cartilage fills with blood. Never again.
Speaker 1: Now I associated him with only evil trauma. Trauma, now
Speaker 1: I associated with the One thing I will say about
Speaker 1: Aaron Shock is that one thing BONE will say. It
Speaker 1: just it disappoints me that he gets to live in
Speaker 1: West Hollywood and be completely protected and like not have
Speaker 1: to like I'm sure if he walks the street. Honestly,
Speaker 1: if he walks the streets, no one would no one
Speaker 1: would do any well, no one would notice because he
Speaker 1: looks like everyone else's And that's what I say. And
Speaker 1: and also we I've actually think it opens up an
Speaker 1: interesting conversation about why when someone has abs, we let
Speaker 1: them get away with everything everything. Truly, if he didn't
Speaker 1: look as hot as he looks, we it wouldn't even
Speaker 1: be a question. This is the thing. If I had abs,
Speaker 1: I would be ruling emperor the world. You would be emperor,
Speaker 1: would be the emperor palpatine status, because I do believe
Speaker 1: that you'd be evil. I think you are six abs
Speaker 1: away from being a very cruel person. I really do.
Speaker 1: And you're white. I agree, and I'm too, and I'm white.
Speaker 1: That's another thing about you. You are a white bitch
Speaker 1: who's six abs away from being a very cruel dictator,
Speaker 1: and not unlike Emperor Palpatine herself famously Emperor Palpatine, remember
Speaker 1: famously Emperor Palpatine had under that role. But he was
Speaker 1: so fucking hot palp that, Oh my god, imagine just
Speaker 1: him being cut dracked as how then he reveals his
Speaker 1: fucking washboard. You can wash a board on those as
Speaker 1: And now, speaking of speaking of good bodies, our guests,
Speaker 1: our guests, no, I can I just tell you, yes,
Speaker 1: I just saw our guests. I always love seeing our
Speaker 1: guest perform. And when I heard that he was performing
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles, I was very upset because I did
Speaker 1: not have a ticket because it was sold off. Then
Speaker 1: our buddy Sarah Schneider had an extra ticket, and I
Speaker 1: hopped on that train and I went all I wrote
Speaker 1: it all the way to the show, and there you go,
Speaker 1: and there it was Cola Scola performing unbelievably well and funny,
Speaker 1: funny bitch, it's breaking news, breaking news, col Scola, funny,
Speaker 1: not staying very long, this is not what and the
Speaker 1: soothing voice and well I thought I've been on this
Speaker 1: podcast before, but I thought that this was a a
Speaker 1: front one because I thought, like, well, they wouldn't ask
Speaker 1: me on the same thing twice. No, but this is
Speaker 1: exactly what it was before. Why I didn't want to
Speaker 1: come back. No, the last time you came on here.
Speaker 1: First of all, okay, welcome into your ears. Is the
Speaker 1: last time you came here. You were about to go
Speaker 1: on a date? I believe. Do you remember this guy?
Speaker 1: You don't remember the date? Remember what I was wearing?
Speaker 1: You were wearing a red corduroy jack and I almost
Speaker 1: were it again? It was red um but with a
Speaker 1: black corduroy. Oh that's what it was. Yes, red and canvas,
Speaker 1: black corduroy. Yes, canvas actually iconically remember this iconic? And
Speaker 1: I like what you're wearing right now very much. And
Speaker 1: I often, in fact, almost a percent of the time,
Speaker 1: really like what you're wearing. Thanks, I hate it. And now, Cole,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask you the question I always asked you,
Speaker 1: how are you doing? I'm okay, And that's honestly a
Speaker 1: second time guest. The question we always asked them is
Speaker 1: how are you doing? How are you doing? But but no,
Speaker 1: but that's just me assist, giving an assist to cold
Speaker 1: to answer the way he always answers, which is I'm okay,
Speaker 1: I'm okay, okay. Yeah, it's like it's just occurring to me. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: better better, better, better, Um, Cole, I want to talk
Speaker 1: to Something you said to me has really reverberated in
Speaker 1: my head. For I don't think you're an idiot, but
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think. I wish. Don't let
Speaker 1: that go. It was coming from a place I was hungry.
Speaker 1: I was angry. I never heard of that angry. I
Speaker 1: needed to absolve you of the whatever guilt you were
Speaker 1: carrying you. Thank you you. I think you said to
Speaker 1: me the year of destination hook ups. Let's talk about this, okay. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to know, okay, because I think I might.
Speaker 1: I might do something like this eventually, probably very soon.
Speaker 1: I might literally go to a city just to hook
Speaker 1: up with someone. I Yeah, wow, that's what I did.
Speaker 1: I did that once in January. I went to was
Speaker 1: so high. Yes, rented an airbnb? Um? Was it worth it? Sure? Sure?
Speaker 1: What was what was like? Yes? I don't regret it.
Speaker 1: It wasn't like life changing. I've done it again and
Speaker 1: I just got back from London in Paris. Yes, umm,
Speaker 1: oh and we're there and there there there, there are
Speaker 1: people there. Well I um I paid for tender gold. Yes,
Speaker 1: so you can plan ahead, so that you can plan ahead,
Speaker 1: and um I knew I was going to go to
Speaker 1: London to see all about Eve on the West End?
Speaker 1: Who was in that? Look. I had a good year
Speaker 1: last year. I've made some money. I can talk about it,
Speaker 1: so let's end the stigma. Unwell, you have, you have
Speaker 1: your creature comforts, and God forbid you have your creature comfort.
Speaker 1: So I burn money. I don't know how. I never learned,
Speaker 1: you know, boards and it's not your responsibility, right, someone
Speaker 1: else's son in my business. It's none of my business.
Speaker 1: My finances are none of my business. Okay, you're right,
Speaker 1: You're actually right. Did you plan ahead and successfully execute
Speaker 1: hookups in London and Paris? I planned well. Another thing
Speaker 1: that I'm trying to do this year is just like
Speaker 1: really intense, um but brief love affairs, yes, you know,
Speaker 1: because I don't want a relationship. I don't. Doesn't that
Speaker 1: flatten out everything? Though? Like doesn't that like isn't there
Speaker 1: like no texture to any sort of intimacy anywhere. That's
Speaker 1: like people like I literally did the exercise of listing
Speaker 1: all the guys that I have or will very soon
Speaker 1: hook up with, and it just I kind of felt.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, but I'm looking at these names
Speaker 1: and this means nothing to me. Well, they're all Ryan's
Speaker 1: Ryan Ryan Ryan of different of different races, and but
Speaker 1: they're all Ryans of different races. But now I look
Speaker 1: at I look at this list and I'm just like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is just like it's it's like, this doesn't feel
Speaker 1: send anymore, or it just feels like it feels like
Speaker 1: they're meaning it'll it'll blends together, but it all blends together.
Speaker 1: See that's that I too have a list, and I
Speaker 1: read a list is so disgusted. We are three piglets.
Speaker 1: We are truly three winking piglets in the barn. That's
Speaker 1: where we are right now, in the filthy, muddy barn
Speaker 1: of sex. Okay, men make me sick, gay man, it's dark.
Speaker 1: Gay culture is dark, diss Aaron, shocking of us. So
Speaker 1: you were saying you when I read the list of people,
Speaker 1: what are their names? Mostly their names are mostly Jaden. Honestly,
Speaker 1: there is I think there is like a prevailing name.
Speaker 1: I think Alex, I think I've a lot of Ryan.
Speaker 1: I know I should I go to the list. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's bring it up. Well whatever, that's so many people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I can't see it now. That's the list of the
Speaker 1: US presidents of only nine Um, miss you Jimmy anyway. Now,
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is when I when I read the list,
Speaker 1: everyone a memory. Everyone a beautiful memory, like a gorgeous
Speaker 1: scrap book. And I think I read each name slowly too,
Speaker 1: so I can remember our romantic times. Because I think
Speaker 1: that what Cole is saying with your affairs is you
Speaker 1: want to have intense, passionate weekend like experience, or or
Speaker 1: like even like a month long if we're in the
Speaker 1: same city. But I picked some. I just had one
Speaker 1: in London and then I knew that, um, and then
Speaker 1: I was like, we were talking for like three weeks
Speaker 1: on tender and then what's app And then I met
Speaker 1: up with him and I thought, if it goes well,
Speaker 1: then I'll take him to Paris. Oh and how he
Speaker 1: made it to Wow, he went with a parent questions
Speaker 1: that bothered him. So that's a Jimmy Buffett song. Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: it's not. I thought you were making that out. Would
Speaker 1: you like to wager a bet? I know I wouldn't
Speaker 1: put your phone away. There's so many dangerous things on
Speaker 1: my phone at my fuck list. Jimmy Buffett songs up
Speaker 1: plenty with all four of his fingers. Of my favor
Speaker 1: it's a picture of Aaron Shock giving a shitty hair
Speaker 1: and job of Coachella. It's my background on my phone.
Speaker 1: You know why I don't find him attractive? Why the
Speaker 1: picture quality? It's very it's very warm. It's like it's
Speaker 1: not even pixel razor. It's yes, it's very razor like
Speaker 1: pictures I took of myself on my razor when I
Speaker 1: was in good shape. It's that, and it's like it's
Speaker 1: been repost it's been screenshot and posted so many times,
Speaker 1: and there's there's that pettina on it where it shop
Speaker 1: on the news is on the photos. Yeah, I get
Speaker 1: what you're saying. Yeah, quality, I often feel yes, yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know. The thing is like, he did take
Speaker 1: a lot of professional photos back in the day when
Speaker 1: he was in Congress, of himself on the cover of
Speaker 1: like Men's Fitness and that ship. So this is really
Speaker 1: it's really not even the gay community's fault. It's the
Speaker 1: fucking straight community's thirsty asphalt because they put them on
Speaker 1: the magazines and they put them on the map, and
Speaker 1: you know they're the ones who voted him into office. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so really it's it's once again we can blame the straits. Well, well,
Speaker 1: letting ourselves off a little too, especially yourself, especially we
Speaker 1: we're not ready, Yeah, and we can't. We're not the
Speaker 1: ones to You have to. You need to talk to
Speaker 1: your sister. Well, but you told me, you know what
Speaker 1: Boone said to me, the words he said, he said,
Speaker 1: I don't know, examine it, examine and yeah, because yeah,
Speaker 1: you literally treat me like I'm subhuman when whenever it
Speaker 1: comes up that I smoke cigarettes and you're just like you. Fully,
Speaker 1: these are two completely different things. Like shock, Like following
Speaker 1: Aaron Shock on Instagram is not going to kill it.
Speaker 1: Ending white supremacy and gay culture is actually more destructive
Speaker 1: than me smoking a cigarette. You know what's even grosser
Speaker 1: than what you're saying, the fact that fucking listeners are
Speaker 1: going to agree with every word that you say because
Speaker 1: they want you to win and me to lose. And
Speaker 1: that's ridiculous and it's you know what, You're white. And
Speaker 1: that's the fucking most disgusting thing about all this is
Speaker 1: that you are a white man. You're a white person,
Speaker 1: and you masquerade, you continue the charade, and you smoke
Speaker 1: cigarettes and it's disgusting and it often results in bad
Speaker 1: breath like many cigarette. Fact that you use white as
Speaker 1: an insult at Bowen thing because I know it's the
Speaker 1: one thing I could say to him that could truly
Speaker 1: hurt him that I can't nothing. There's nothing worse that
Speaker 1: could happen to bow Then he wakes up tomorrow, looks
Speaker 1: in the mirror and looks into a white face. If
Speaker 1: you saw a white man in the mirror, you would
Speaker 1: be destroyed. What is going on that you're so Drunk's
Speaker 1: changed you? I did have a bourbon bloody mirror. We
Speaker 1: had a we had a brunch to where I had
Speaker 1: a nice blood sweet chick. If you're listening, sweet chick,
Speaker 1: thank you, sweet chick. So here's something we can kick around. Okay,
Speaker 1: what about hot waiters? And and do you remember they're
Speaker 1: everywhere when we I think you still live in this area.
Speaker 1: But when I lived in Parkslo near you, we went
Speaker 1: to that diner that one time, and there was that
Speaker 1: one waiter. Yeah, yeah, I do the one because he
Speaker 1: would always Yes, we were where were we It was
Speaker 1: Daisy's diner. Diner, Yeah, yeah, we must have been doing
Speaker 1: the same show or something. And then went to it.
Speaker 1: Yeah it was. We went to a party dancing. Yes, No,
Speaker 1: it wasn't the underwear party under the key food. I've
Speaker 1: never been to one of that. That's but that's a
Speaker 1: sex party. It is a sex party. Last night someone
Speaker 1: invited me to it. I was like, thank you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it wasn't. Um, it's just not it's just people having sex, right,
Speaker 1: which is I thought it would be more exciting than
Speaker 1: it was. But it's just a little like they fucking yeah,
Speaker 1: and you know what, you know what the interesting thing
Speaker 1: about sex is it's not that interesting. It's in fact,
Speaker 1: my theory about sex. Wait you sit down, everyone, everyone,
Speaker 1: sit down, Ounce it down everything you guys, you guys
Speaker 1: waiting in the door, coming into down, Just get a
Speaker 1: spot on the ground. That right there. Emma, you just
Speaker 1: stood up, sit down. You can move that. Yeah. God, Okay,
Speaker 1: there's my theory about sex. Okay. It's weird and gross
Speaker 1: and it's strange that we do it. It is we
Speaker 1: are all little bags of meat and slapping together, and
Speaker 1: it is insane that we do it. And recently I
Speaker 1: hooked up with someone and then two days later we
Speaker 1: hung out and he said, isn't it weird sex? And
Speaker 1: I was like yes. He's like, isn't it weird that
Speaker 1: we're not laughing the whole time it's happening? And I'm like, yes,
Speaker 1: it is. Sexis psycho psycho. It's holes and poop and blood. Well,
Speaker 1: that's why I don't get it. It's sweat, it's tears,
Speaker 1: but it's it's crime. It's pretty crime. It's blood, it's
Speaker 1: prime and holes in poop and blood and sweat. I
Speaker 1: ultimately death, ultimately, ultimately death. I call it that. In France,
Speaker 1: you know they do it's called Lippatimore a little death
Speaker 1: because every time you come you die a little Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's a beautiful lyric, I think. But
Speaker 1: that's why I find it insane that people don't like
Speaker 1: to talk during it. Oh yeah, I like dirty talk,
Speaker 1: like you like that, bitch like that? Like, oh do
Speaker 1: you like the way that tastes shouldn't get you anything else?
Speaker 1: Still working on that bit? Water are more cock, bitch?
Speaker 1: How are you doing, bitch? How's everything tasting better? Bitch?
Speaker 1: How's everything tasting someone someone's hungry? Bitch? I are you
Speaker 1: very verbal? Yes? We talked about this yesterday. We spoke
Speaker 1: about it yes today. And so now that we're talking,
Speaker 1: now that you're saying this thing, yeah, you and this
Speaker 1: person saying it's so funny that we don't laugh during
Speaker 1: the whole thing, Like, Yeah, there's got to be something
Speaker 1: where you just just remain human. Yeah, and you don't
Speaker 1: be completely blinded by hormones. My life, I always I
Speaker 1: have two jokes when I'm done having sex. Oh no,
Speaker 1: do you want to say them now? Okay, because then
Speaker 1: they're not going to feel fresh when you do. Well,
Speaker 1: I know, but I'm either going to keep doing them
Speaker 1: or I'll come up with new ones exactly. And that's
Speaker 1: that's that's a writer. And and that's a writer, you know,
Speaker 1: because I'm pushing by by telling them here, I'm pushing
Speaker 1: my stuff to come up with the first one is
Speaker 1: immediately after I come, I say, get out. And then
Speaker 1: my other one, my other one is immediately after one
Speaker 1: of us or both of us come, I I go,
Speaker 1: what is this stuff? Before? What is this? What is this?
Speaker 1: Stuff those even though even though you shared it with
Speaker 1: the world and shared it out, you cannot retire to them,
Speaker 1: they thank you, thank you. Oh my god, cannon can
Speaker 1: Actually it's cannon over. Stop. No, Cannon is not over. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm just worried. That's how much we respect you. You
Speaker 1: said cannon in a mocking way. And there's Bowen, white
Speaker 1: as stupid, Bowen being like, we have to retire Cannon. No,
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. I don't want to be behind the times.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm seventy one. Are you seventy two? Next week?
Speaker 1: And it's happy early birthday? Thank you. Imagine imagine if
Speaker 1: a Taurus. I know that I wouldn't take Hitler was
Speaker 1: a Taurus. Actually is today is no Yesterday? Birthday? God
Speaker 1: he shares a weekend with Christ. Oh wait, this is
Speaker 1: coming out at a different time for the listeners this.
Speaker 1: We're recording this on Easter Sunday. I, well, what are
Speaker 1: you going to say? Because I had a point with
Speaker 1: the Okay, you make your point. I was going to
Speaker 1: shift gears. Okay, ready, here's what we're gonna say. I'll
Speaker 1: say what I want to talk about. Bow and say,
Speaker 1: what do you want to talk about and then everyone
Speaker 1: in the room will vote on which one will discuss. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: and Emma, you were, you were, You're gonna you're gonna
Speaker 1: be a deciding factor, adding you as a fourth person
Speaker 1: in the yes even to make it okay, so bow
Speaker 1: and present your topic. My my topic was not a topic.
Speaker 1: It was more of a line. It was more of
Speaker 1: a prompt to ask, to ask both of you actually
Speaker 1: and just to have a roundtable discussion about what what
Speaker 1: the protocols are. Like Let's say, like, oh, I do
Speaker 1: tender goold, I taped the plane icon, I changed my
Speaker 1: location of the city, get my likes and see who
Speaker 1: liked me and swiped right on me, and then and
Speaker 1: then and then set my traps because now I'm developing
Speaker 1: these little these little like you've got to be honest
Speaker 1: yes and say like that you're that you're not yes,
Speaker 1: of course, or if you want to, if you don't
Speaker 1: want to seem desperate, you can say like, oh I
Speaker 1: was just there, but I'm coming back totally totally okay.
Speaker 1: So that that was my little prompt for all of us,
Speaker 1: just just just to talk about about that a process,
Speaker 1: to have a process conversation, and I wanted to talk
Speaker 1: about because Sweet Check had hot waiters, and I wanted
Speaker 1: to say, I have ever left your number for a waiter,
Speaker 1: and then that's the waiter. I've never the waiter never
Speaker 1: got back to me that I have left my number.
Speaker 1: I've left my number two and no, I've never sucked
Speaker 1: the waiter. But it's it's resulted in some texts that
Speaker 1: I think, like could have gotten to a place like
Speaker 1: there used to be this bartender that worked at Joe's
Speaker 1: Pub who worked in the back in the in the
Speaker 1: Joe's Pub, like like the theater space, and he was
Speaker 1: the hottest person in the world. And he's the only
Speaker 1: person with a little ponytail I've ever been in track
Speaker 1: That was Aaron shot. You're discussing, I'm disgusting, harmful, harmful. Wait,
Speaker 1: but so but you texted with him that, Yes, he
Speaker 1: texted me and he was like, Hey, this is so
Speaker 1: and so you're a bartender. We should um meet up
Speaker 1: cutie winky face, which had to meet that's as good
Speaker 1: a sex because that's the validation, you know, And I
Speaker 1: probably did come to it thinking about it, Yeah, which
Speaker 1: is you know, wow, I mean, we're this is the
Speaker 1: true flattening the desire of desire with we're equating the
Speaker 1: chase to sex. You know, that's let's talk about that
Speaker 1: so far. Yeah, I think that wins. No, it doesn't.
Speaker 1: I don't think we need to vote such a dumb
Speaker 1: studio intellectual conversation that I don't want to the flattening
Speaker 1: of desire, although but I know I actually I am
Speaker 1: happy to talk about it because I truly feel numbed.
Speaker 1: I feel numb to meeting guys and having sex with them.
Speaker 1: Now you feel numb to it, not meeting them, not
Speaker 1: that I'm just taking it. And it's not about me.
Speaker 1: It's not it's not a volume thing. It's not about me,
Speaker 1: like literally not even having that much. It's just like
Speaker 1: it all doesn't No, one's nothing standing out. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's because you haven't done it with the right people.
Speaker 1: And I think you could actually take a note from
Speaker 1: Cole's book and I Think You, which is coming out
Speaker 1: this fall, yes, called how Do I Do It? At
Speaker 1: seventy two, How Do I Do It? A novel with
Speaker 1: a forward from novel from Margaret She's doing the four word.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't love how novels have four words,
Speaker 1: you are white stock. Now wait what were I think
Speaker 1: that you are doing the right thing by romanticizing things
Speaker 1: and making them feel meaningful. Yes, but that's so much.
Speaker 1: I mean it's a full time job, full time, it
Speaker 1: really is. I haven't made money in seven months, but
Speaker 1: I've had a lot of encounters, beautiful encounters, beautiful. He's wealthy, wealthy,
Speaker 1: wealthy in romantic affairs. It's actually really no. But I
Speaker 1: know what you're saying. And you want to have these
Speaker 1: like fun before sunrise dates, yes, where you just walk
Speaker 1: around a town. Yeah, I mean yeah, it's not you know,
Speaker 1: I mean I take big swings and sometimes they really miss. Yes, Okay,
Speaker 1: let's talk about the mis says yeah, because the misses
Speaker 1: are Yeah. I think that you need to, I guess
Speaker 1: humanize yourself for the listen. Who think of you right now?
Speaker 1: Is this someone who's a god who goes to you know,
Speaker 1: like Paris, who has a vetting process in London for
Speaker 1: Paris trip And I'm sorry, but can afford tinder goold
Speaker 1: which is thousands of dollars? He had a good year
Speaker 1: last year. I had a good year. What can I say? Look,
Speaker 1: I'm not ashamed. Okay, we need to de stigmatize. Am
Speaker 1: the one person and I don't you know what's funny
Speaker 1: is that, Like when I first started being able to
Speaker 1: pay my rent without worrying about it, Yeah, one of
Speaker 1: my first thoughts was like, oh no, I'm part of
Speaker 1: the problem now because I could pay my rent. I
Speaker 1: was so like fucked up by everything that I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: I I'm the one percent. Yeah, I don't pay my rent.
Speaker 1: That thought ran through my mind literally on the uber
Speaker 1: on the way here, I was like, who am I
Speaker 1: a soon as as soon as they paid off my
Speaker 1: credit card after years and thousands of dollars, I was
Speaker 1: just like, well, I'm a monster. Yeah you are? I know,
Speaker 1: no struggle. Yeah, Like, look, George W. Bush was not
Speaker 1: a bad president. All of a sudden, I'm like, fiscally, fiscally,
Speaker 1: I am conservative because look, it's been poor. Okay, I
Speaker 1: know what it's like. I don't want to go back there.
Speaker 1: You look down in your hand and you're so white
Speaker 1: that you can see through your hands. You're becoming a
Speaker 1: ghost rice paper. Honestly. Wait, okay, so talk about the failures.
Speaker 1: So just subscribe a time when you took a big
Speaker 1: swing and who want to well, well, just like not
Speaker 1: being able to stand the person by like you know,
Speaker 1: our too, and then being stuck with them for a
Speaker 1: few days. Wow, isn't it painful? We have wonderful sex
Speaker 1: with a person and they're bad in their heart. They
Speaker 1: have a bad heart. When I sucked John McCain, I
Speaker 1: because the chemistry was there. There was never a question
Speaker 1: about we loved Arizona. We love cactus growers, cactus cactus growers.
Speaker 1: The two of you, you know, we both care about
Speaker 1: Megan the same amount, which is not at all. That
Speaker 1: would be so funny if it came out and like
Speaker 1: the tabloids that Megan McCain's adoration for her father was
Speaker 1: completely one side his diaries came out like, dear Diary,
Speaker 1: it's me John McCain. This is good. I don't know
Speaker 1: how to say this, but I don't love my daughter.
Speaker 1: It's weird. I was not having a daughter. Would I
Speaker 1: should love her? Right? I should love my kids? Can't
Speaker 1: find her. There's something about her anyway. I had a
Speaker 1: dream that my house was on fire and she was
Speaker 1: in it, and all I could think was, oh no,
Speaker 1: my house and the papers within the house, so many
Speaker 1: papers burning, and also my daughter and I thought of
Speaker 1: the papers. God, I hope she's okay Columbia. Now did
Speaker 1: she go to Columbia? She did. She actually talked about
Speaker 1: her frequently, and that makes her a real New Yorker.
Speaker 1: You know, I have such a complicated relationship with Megan McCain.
Speaker 1: And why and why and why? Why do I try
Speaker 1: so hard? It should be open and shut? She sucks
Speaker 1: by Yeah, do we think she sucks? Yes? Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't even want to open the book. Don't open
Speaker 1: the books. It's not even open shut. We need to
Speaker 1: just leave it. Bind, bind every side, honey, I bind you,
Speaker 1: Nancy from doing harm to yourself. What is that? It's
Speaker 1: from the Craft? I think Romeo and Juliet. No craft,
Speaker 1: she was thinking, Wait, have you gone your whole life
Speaker 1: thinking the craft is Romano and Julie? Yes, I think
Speaker 1: I love Shakespeare. I love when that one girl starts
Speaker 1: losing her hair. Ben Stiller's Wife's wife, Christine Taylor, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, wait, Ben Stiller is in phase two right now?
Speaker 1: What does that mean? She's directing? Now? She escaped that
Speaker 1: Patricia Arquette vehicle, which, by the way, you should see
Speaker 1: trying to Ben Steller Christie Taylor, no Ben Stiller, a
Speaker 1: ben Stiller, I call her, I call him she yeh.
Speaker 1: But but did you did you see Escape at an Amora?
Speaker 1: Because I feel Patricia and Escape at Animora could provide
Speaker 1: you with great inspiration. Is it good? Is she good?
Speaker 1: She is good? The thing she's she won't almost every award,
Speaker 1: Like she is in a shitty wig. They made her
Speaker 1: skin look bad and she has she has sex with
Speaker 1: Benicio del Toro, like and it's it's this moment where
Speaker 1: like there's a crazy scene and Escape at Anamora, which
Speaker 1: everyone argues, Everyone argues whether or not this is good
Speaker 1: acting or bad acting from bene Ceo del Toro. So
Speaker 1: they so so Patricia Arquette and Benicio Deltor have like
Speaker 1: an interaction sexually, romantically, etcetera. And then he says to her,
Speaker 1: don't tell anybody, it's bad. It's bad. Active he says
Speaker 1: it like that, and then he leaves and I swear
Speaker 1: to God it is the and she just like sits
Speaker 1: with it and it ends the episode there. It ends
Speaker 1: on like four seconds of her face like not understanding
Speaker 1: what the funk that was. And I actually think it
Speaker 1: is a genius choice. It is so bizarre that you're
Speaker 1: but it's so scary that it's like, no, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: tell anyone after that, you're crazy. Nothing in human behavior
Speaker 1: says do this. But something happened in the chemical artistic
Speaker 1: collaboration between Benicio del Toro and ben Still and receiving.
Speaker 1: Don't anybody and you are you don't know what to
Speaker 1: do with the viewer? How did you feel me doing
Speaker 1: that to you right now? I almost left? Both times
Speaker 1: I almost left. I was hot. That was hot? Well
Speaker 1: it is, yeah, it's warm. It is really warm, and
Speaker 1: it's Easter Sunday. Easter Sunday. Can you believe that choice?
Speaker 1: That's crazy? I have to I have to watch it. Now,
Speaker 1: you have to watch it, Coole, I think you have
Speaker 1: to watch. I feel like it's bad. I feel like
Speaker 1: beneath the Deltur is a bad actor. He's an Oscar
Speaker 1: winning actor. And then I feel like it was like
Speaker 1: Jennifer Hudson and so Jennifer has and it got to editing,
Speaker 1: and then benn was just like, let's just let's just
Speaker 1: end it. We can't, we can't address this. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Um that's to me. It was like, it's so funny
Speaker 1: because it's there's a clip fun on YouTube and you
Speaker 1: can read the comments and every other comment as a
Speaker 1: different take. It's like this is insane, and then one
Speaker 1: is like this is brilliant, so unsettling, so amazingly amazing
Speaker 1: character choice. The next one is like, what are you
Speaker 1: fucking talking about? This is crazy. The next one is like, wow,
Speaker 1: this scared me for weeks. Couldn't believe it. It's honestly,
Speaker 1: it is so polarizing, and let's just say it made
Speaker 1: it to this podcast. Speaking of comments sections, do you
Speaker 1: ever read the comments on porn videos? I love a
Speaker 1: sincere paragraph on a porn video that's like, this is
Speaker 1: what I love. Two beautiful men just enjoying each other's touch.
Speaker 1: I once had a friend very much like the blonde
Speaker 1: young man in this video and like just going on
Speaker 1: and on. It's one of my favorite things. Yeah. Oh,
Speaker 1: one that I came across recently was wow, the sounds
Speaker 1: at that bottom makes that's how a bottom should man.
Speaker 1: You can tell he's enjoying it. Yeah, I love, I love,
Speaker 1: I love you can tell the bottom is in enjoying it.
Speaker 1: That's a frequent comment which is like, so often the
Speaker 1: bottom it's just not enjoying it. You know, well, they
Speaker 1: probably aren't even when it seems like they are, because
Speaker 1: porn shoots seem like hell they seem like hell yeah.
Speaker 1: I um, I wonder that sometimes, you know, sometimes like
Speaker 1: I'll often like I don't know something about do you
Speaker 1: ever watch straight porn? Straight porn? Straight porn? Why does
Speaker 1: that sound familiar? Straight porn? I do? Sometimes I love
Speaker 1: to watch straight porn, okay, and then like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I feel weird after working. Okay, this is like sort
Speaker 1: of like um in the kids are all right, but
Speaker 1: reverse there was I watched this one porn sometimes, which
Speaker 1: is um, it's this girl and her step there in
Speaker 1: one of those bedrooms and like they're they're separated, they're
Speaker 1: they're in two different beds in the same bedroom, and
Speaker 1: she's like, don't come over here. You're my stepbrother, so
Speaker 1: don't you can't. And then basically she's just like she
Speaker 1: she looks over and he's like jacking off, and she's like,
Speaker 1: what are you doing? You have to stop, and he's like,
Speaker 1: come on, let me sup with you. She was fine,
Speaker 1: you can, and then he comes over and she's like
Speaker 1: you can touch meat my pussy and then he reaches
Speaker 1: over and like starts figuring it. She's like, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: the way, and then like basically like it escalates. Okay, fine,
Speaker 1: you can lay on top of me, but only a little,
Speaker 1: and then like he does, and then its to the
Speaker 1: point where it's so fu horny and hot and she's like,
Speaker 1: I can't help it. Oh, and she takes him and
Speaker 1: pulls him into her and they proceed to have twenty
Speaker 1: six minutes of the most passionate step. Right. It's something
Speaker 1: about it, Like I was like, honestly, I wish I
Speaker 1: could just decide I've had enough and just pull someone
Speaker 1: into me. But like you can't do that as a
Speaker 1: and you can lust your butt holes ready at all times. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's oh, I know what you mean. Um, I think, Matt,
Speaker 1: you you have to do some performance piece where you
Speaker 1: play you do a straight porn and you play both,
Speaker 1: you play both that side. I would be really good
Speaker 1: at that. That was like, Um, Mike, where are you from?
Speaker 1: Mike Tampa? That was just shocked at your straight girl.
Speaker 1: The girl honestly, come over here, come over here right now.
Speaker 1: I'm your half sister from my mom related by blood.
Speaker 1: Stop you're my real brother. Don't come over here. You're
Speaker 1: my real brother by blood. So if you fuck me,
Speaker 1: it will be bad. With my legs wide open, it
Speaker 1: will be so bad, and I'll be mad. I can't
Speaker 1: describe how furious I'll be if you fuck meet Daniel.
Speaker 1: That's what I love. You can tell they're a really
Speaker 1: brother and sister, just enjoying exploring sexuality, similar experience. That's beautiful.
Speaker 1: Oh you know, it's actually have fun like this is
Speaker 1: what's a fun language learning tool is that I have
Speaker 1: gone down this rabbit hole of Chinese porn, gay Chinese porn.
Speaker 1: It's great love seeing myself represented and then porn and
Speaker 1: porn um to close my eyes. Um. And it's fun
Speaker 1: to read the comments section and be like, oh, what
Speaker 1: do they saying? Oh? Learning learning, you mean are they
Speaker 1: in no? No? And there and then commenting like even
Speaker 1: porn habits, Like the comments are in Chinese, what are
Speaker 1: they saying? They're like, that's what I love, Star, They're
Speaker 1: just as gross. They're actually, um, yeah, they're just as gross.
Speaker 1: But it's just it's just interesting to see the terminology
Speaker 1: change but the concepts still remain the same, where it's
Speaker 1: like wow, that zero bottom that zero is really good
Speaker 1: with that one top zero and then if you're verse
Speaker 1: your point five, and then it's like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: this is the beautiful thing. It's fully on a spectrum.
Speaker 1: Someone will be like, I'm a point seven, Like I'm
Speaker 1: more of a top than I am at bottom. What
Speaker 1: an efficient way of doing and what an easy way
Speaker 1: to ascribe value to tops and take value away from bottom?
Speaker 1: And China, I don't think so, honey, China, who thing?
Speaker 1: You're absolutely not from there, you white bitch, good thing
Speaker 1: you your parents are obviously descendant from Sweden or something
Speaker 1: descendant from Sweden. Yeah, that's exactly what I said. Just said,
Speaker 1: white yeah, white, yeah you white yeah, white nice one
Speaker 1: white insane. Well listen, well, listen. We we have on
Speaker 1: our hands here a wealth of material for for the
Speaker 1: children really that listen to this because we know and
Speaker 1: now I've even more self conscious because we had some
Speaker 1: true teens come to our shows around the country and
Speaker 1: then they say often they'll ask their parents about the
Speaker 1: content of what we discuss. Like sometimes it'll be like, hey, mom,
Speaker 1: what's the movie? Um, you know ghosts? What's ghost Can
Speaker 1: you describe ghosts? Yes? And now it's going to be like, hey, mom,
Speaker 1: what is it when a stepbrother fox his sister und? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah? Is it legal? Do you watch porn? Mom? My? God?
Speaker 1: Do you think parents watch porn? No? No, no, No
Speaker 1: one's parents watch porn. And if you acsolutely have child,
Speaker 1: you're not allowed. Yeah. Too busy, too busy, and they
Speaker 1: don't know how to watch it. I just don't believe
Speaker 1: for a second a parent would watch porn. It's just
Speaker 1: too devastating to think that that would be true. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I just can't believe it for one second.
Speaker 1: You know, didn't Kevin Spacey watch porn in American Beauty? Um,
Speaker 1: not to even mention him, well, because co star and
Speaker 1: betting and this is my kids are all right? Reference? Well,
Speaker 1: she and Julian Moore's character watched straight kids are all
Speaker 1: and the kids are all right. I think that a
Speaker 1: lot of people if we just came out about our
Speaker 1: porn preferences, a lot of stigma would be removed from
Speaker 1: the world. Yeah, okay, Oh? Should we share key words?
Speaker 1: Should we share our key words? Key search terms? Terms?
Speaker 1: Might have been daddy a lot recently. I like watching
Speaker 1: somebody just like be older than the other person. Yeah,
Speaker 1: sometimes I like, yeah, a distinct age difference. Are there
Speaker 1: any white Yangs? I don't know, you gotta we're gonna Emma,
Speaker 1: what you looked that up? What if I took What
Speaker 1: if I had a stage name and I chose Yang
Speaker 1: is my last name Matt Yang Yang Yang otherwise known
Speaker 1: as Matt yang Yang Bowen. What would my white name
Speaker 1: be something Bowen? My last name would be Bowen, Julie
Speaker 1: Bowie Bowen, famous white person, one of the most famous
Speaker 1: white people in Hollywood. Isn't she a Republican? Oh? Hard
Speaker 1: course she is. She and Tucker Carlston had like a
Speaker 1: fair way you hear about that. I mean, it's it's
Speaker 1: it's a rumor, but it's a pretty well sourced sourced rumor.
Speaker 1: I would say, and look, if she wants to sue
Speaker 1: please um. I feel like she's that kind of person
Speaker 1: who would like back you into a corner at an
Speaker 1: event that was not for this type of conversation and
Speaker 1: wide eyed explained to you why Trump is good that
Speaker 1: and also when Modern Family first came out, she would
Speaker 1: like go on talk shows and like fully shoot on
Speaker 1: Sofia Vergara and like you do the accent and like
Speaker 1: be like a monster, and I'd be like, what the
Speaker 1: funk are you doing? I actually like really enjoyed Julie,
Speaker 1: But Julie Bowen as an actress. I like her as
Speaker 1: an actress. I loved her in Weeds, I guess, but
Speaker 1: like she on Weeds and she got sucked by Hunter?
Speaker 1: What ya star? Why Why wasn't that met Weeds and
Speaker 1: spring Away? Spring Away? He was freaking hot. You saw
Speaker 1: his but you see every um what's that character's name,
Speaker 1: milk your you see every milk yours? But yeah, he
Speaker 1: was milk here right, he was milky yorga bore. I
Speaker 1: don't know the show. You don't know the show spring Away? Now,
Speaker 1: it's fine. It was after my time, so I can't
Speaker 1: ask what if I asked you this question, would you
Speaker 1: know how to answer? What? Are you a hunting or
Speaker 1: an Ernst? No? I don't know what that means. Unshen
Speaker 1: is the toppy sort of like cream Away, the Bliss.
Speaker 1: This is a gay character character. Okay, he corners the
Speaker 1: Ernst who's like, oh, to give you an idea, Blake
Speaker 1: Daniel played Ernst on The Great White Way. We know
Speaker 1: to Ernst, who's Ben Moss wasn't Ernest in the in
Speaker 1: the touring uh production. I love that. Yeah too, beautiful, beautiful.
Speaker 1: Let's drink to that. Cheers, cheers, cheers. I feel like
Speaker 1: we'll have coffees from different places. I forgot to say
Speaker 1: my search my I like like specific videos, like there's
Speaker 1: this one video of this um drunk straight French guy
Speaker 1: UM giving like his friend a hand job and he's
Speaker 1: like joking the whole time. UM, and it's like amateur
Speaker 1: you know, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah, And I
Speaker 1: don't know why, but it's just like one of my
Speaker 1: and I sent it to my UM. I have this
Speaker 1: good friend who we send each other porns that we
Speaker 1: think the other one might like. That's beautiful. And we
Speaker 1: also send each other guys on Tinder. You actually do
Speaker 1: that share function? Yeah, because the share function the person No,
Speaker 1: his name is Tebow really yeah, I would know immediately,
Speaker 1: but he lives here. Yeah, okay, okay, So is this
Speaker 1: someone you've hooked up with? Yeah? Yeah, we had like, um,
Speaker 1: it's a somewhat romantic friendship. Right. Yeah. How are you
Speaker 1: with like managing money? Not very good? He says, it's
Speaker 1: not good and it's not my business. I said that.
Speaker 1: Are you someone who can do no strings attached. Uh,
Speaker 1: I don't know what that means. Like you hook up
Speaker 1: with your friend and you're like, that was fine, it
Speaker 1: was yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, I got it. Yeah are
Speaker 1: you I am? I don't know. I've literally last night
Speaker 1: good friend of ours and it was just it was
Speaker 1: a nice little peck goodbye, and he would and he would.
Speaker 1: I'm sure, what are you talking about, Joshua, Mr josh Sharp. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I knew you were, but it's because I know the boundaries.
Speaker 1: I know the thing on his end is like, okay,
Speaker 1: well that's he and Blake. He and Blake are in
Speaker 1: this beautiful relationship. And now here's the question I have
Speaker 1: for you. Since you were last here, there's no doubt
Speaker 1: been culture in your life that has affected you. So
Speaker 1: what do you even like? What do you want? What
Speaker 1: do you do? What culture is affecting you now profoundly
Speaker 1: and influencing you as an artist, which you are a
Speaker 1: very good one. Do you watch television? Actually? I want
Speaker 1: to ask Cole this. I think Cole a difference that
Speaker 1: I've noticed in Cole's performance is that the costumes are
Speaker 1: getting very sophisticated and you're getting um oh, who's your
Speaker 1: friend who designs all your stuff Andrew. Yes, and he's
Speaker 1: a white Yeah, well he's half Yeah, he's half, so
Speaker 1: then he's a white Yang. There you go. Um, so
Speaker 1: I mean gorgeous, gorgeous gorgeous costumes. Um? Is that was is?
Speaker 1: Has this been like a choice or like a direction
Speaker 1: you wanted to? This sounds like such a Yeah, I like, Um,
Speaker 1: I just like to have like I like to heighten,
Speaker 1: you know, I just love a heightened that Queen Elizabethan.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and it was originally made for Katya. It
Speaker 1: was built on Katya because we're the same size. Really yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I couldn't be in l A where he was
Speaker 1: making it, and so he would send me all these
Speaker 1: pictures of Katya wearing the Brian. Brian. Do you know
Speaker 1: we've only texted and and such and texted and such. Um,
Speaker 1: not like that, right, I think it could have potentially
Speaker 1: been like that, But oh my god, that's rude. You're
Speaker 1: being rude being you guys would be you guys would
Speaker 1: be cute together. They actually not looking for anything. I
Speaker 1: just I said that when I came in here, because
Speaker 1: anything I know and we choose, I think no one,
Speaker 1: I think no one. I really do think that I
Speaker 1: will be single forever? Yeah, because I want to be? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you do, I do. Is it because of a hard
Speaker 1: relationship in your past? Hmmm? Partly? And I just don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Do you see yourself in long stretches
Speaker 1: of not monogamy, but of like intense intimacy with one
Speaker 1: person for a while? No? Wow, what's like? I want
Speaker 1: to I'm just not open to it. What's your upper
Speaker 1: bound on? Like? How like what's the max amount of
Speaker 1: time that you would want to date someone? A month
Speaker 1: you said earlier? Maybe three months? Like? Yeah, I love that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you think that is where we're all headed? Well?
Speaker 1: I think everyone wants different things, yes, And people are
Speaker 1: different and God loves everybody, and I think we should
Speaker 1: all just strive to care about each other and if
Speaker 1: we were, and I think be kind to each other.
Speaker 1: Thank you too, Happy Easter. Happy. I don't have any
Speaker 1: culture that I'm You're not absorbing anything. What do you
Speaker 1: do you? I really don't think I've watched anything since
Speaker 1: nineteen thirty truly. I find that it is hard to
Speaker 1: sit and watch like, for example, like comedy shows, because
Speaker 1: I'm always like trying to do it. I don't want
Speaker 1: to like enjoy it, like you know, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm watching right now, which I'm really enjoying. I just
Speaker 1: started watching Shrill. Oh yeah, I really like it. That's
Speaker 1: on my list. Everything's on my list. That's the thing.
Speaker 1: Everything is on my list. But I appreciate something that's
Speaker 1: that's not like listen the comedy. The comedy and this
Speaker 1: is like a very like real racist that was very
Speaker 1: it was racist to white people. So I apologize to
Speaker 1: the white person at the table. But when I'm so sorry,
Speaker 1: that's okay. Whole I do think movies because and I
Speaker 1: was gonna say, um, like I think, and this sounds
Speaker 1: so obnoxious and engross, but I think you should explore
Speaker 1: like French New Waves stuff, thank you, like a new
Speaker 1: source of inspiration. Thank you God. Maybe imagine that Oh
Speaker 1: my god, it does just just to explore this thing
Speaker 1: as as inspiration to be the kind of person who's
Speaker 1: told you know what, I think you'd enjoy French New Waves.
Speaker 1: Yeah no, but I'm saying like no, truly, like it's
Speaker 1: it's in like it's in the it's in the whole
Speaker 1: sort of neighborhood of like things that like call is
Speaker 1: so versed in already, and it just doesn't seem like
Speaker 1: it seems like a sensible extension of that. Oh, I
Speaker 1: went to um speaking, I went to Olivia, to Haveln's
Speaker 1: house in Paris. Oh my god, yeah, she still two
Speaker 1: years old? She suing? Is that an active? The next
Speaker 1: it was like dismiss And now there's the Supreme Court
Speaker 1: is all that's left, truly, and they haven't I don't
Speaker 1: think they've decided. They're probably going to be like, no,
Speaker 1: we won't hear this case, but they haven't said that yet.
Speaker 1: I think that's true. Literal Supreme Court. Yes, Ruth Bader
Speaker 1: Ginsburg looking at Olivia to Haveln versus Ryan Murphy and
Speaker 1: watching and watching and watching, being like, She's like, I
Speaker 1: do want to sue his ass. Yeah, drag her drag.
Speaker 1: We have declared that they dragged. It was unfairly dragging.
Speaker 1: Olivia told no and then no. But imagine RBG watching
Speaker 1: that and being like, now I'm going to sue, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: just for like wasting my time. Honestly, that would make
Speaker 1: Ryan Murphreys happy, because you know he's currently prepping America
Speaker 1: versus Kavanaugh. Like versus Kavanaugh is something that Ryan Murphy
Speaker 1: would do or or to have versus Ryan Murphy. Yes,
Speaker 1: or and so eventually are Ruther to Ginsberg versus Ryan Murphy.
Speaker 1: But the thing is for to go to Olivia, to
Speaker 1: Haveln's house in Paris. I just typed in uber destination
Speaker 1: Olivia to have land and it took it took me there.
Speaker 1: So when you you got to go inside? No no, no,
Speaker 1: no no no, it was just like outside. And um,
Speaker 1: I mean I'm sure she was home because she's a
Speaker 1: hundred and two, she's not like out no, And there
Speaker 1: was a security guard in front. Wow, which makes me
Speaker 1: think I just wanted to be like near her for
Speaker 1: a minute. It is very very funny and entertaining to
Speaker 1: read her statements on her lawsuit, like yeah, I will
Speaker 1: be suing, yeah, and like I wonder if it's her lie.
Speaker 1: It's almost sounds like it's probably her language, absolutely, because
Speaker 1: she still she speaks like that. Like there are interviews
Speaker 1: of her from like even ten years ago, and she's like,
Speaker 1: what a wonderful opportunity this is for me to sit
Speaker 1: down and speak to and it's like no, no, no,
Speaker 1: Like because she's a hundred over years old, she still
Speaker 1: thinks in terms of like one publicity she was in
Speaker 1: her thirties. Then yea, truly rely psychotic. It's psychotic. You
Speaker 1: shouldn't live past not. Yeah, I'm gonna so this is
Speaker 1: a piece of culture that I do love. Is Catherine's
Speaker 1: Ada Jones's instagram. I'm no, she has a good instagram.
Speaker 1: And also did you see what she posted after Notre Dame? No,
Speaker 1: so basically like it was the Notre Dame and then
Speaker 1: like like interfaced over it was this woman with her
Speaker 1: head in her hands, like grieving and crying, and I
Speaker 1: have to pull up the caption. It's yeah, but she
Speaker 1: also she has like a home line casaz Ada Jones. Yep,
Speaker 1: that's her like home like um bed linens and like
Speaker 1: just tacky, tacky stuff. And we can't we can't we
Speaker 1: have I'm gonna pull up this data Jones one. And
Speaker 1: then we absolutely cannot mention celebrity instagrams without mention. So
Speaker 1: this is the photo. You can see. It's a woman
Speaker 1: with her head in her hands and the Notre Dame
Speaker 1: in the background. The caption reads our Sacred Notre Dame heartbreaking,
Speaker 1: like just like two prayer hands. But this you have
Speaker 1: to go to this Instagram people because the woman with
Speaker 1: her head in her hands, the images insane. Now, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you guys are aware. What did glen
Speaker 1: Clus do? She she went, this is one of the
Speaker 1: funniest things that has ever happened in life. I'm going
Speaker 1: to play it because it's just it's just too good. Okay,
Speaker 1: hello everyone. I'm sitting here on a cold and wendy night,
Speaker 1: and I'm thinking about Notre Dame, upsetting pictures of it
Speaker 1: burning and seventeen years ago, about that incredible building and
Speaker 1: at a time when it brought me a great comfort.
Speaker 1: And I think that's why I personally, I feel so
Speaker 1: attached to that place. I was filming in in France
Speaker 1: May two thousand and two, and it was when all
Speaker 1: the headlines said that we're going to fall into a
Speaker 1: nuclear war because of the confrontation between India and Pakistan.
Speaker 1: So I went to Notre Dame and I wrote this afterwards,
Speaker 1: and I just wanted to share it with him. I
Speaker 1: went to Notre Dame Cathedral and that's when because she
Speaker 1: didn't know, and then she puts it video later and
Speaker 1: I have a bad Instagram and I read my whole thing.
Speaker 1: I'll maybe try to time a little bit and put
Speaker 1: it on Instagram. How do you put it on yet? Yeah?
Speaker 1: She's the last. Her Instagram is the best, the best.
Speaker 1: I couldn't believe when she started. I went to Notre
Speaker 1: Dame and then cut her Instagram is better than any
Speaker 1: Best Actress nominated performance. Honestly, why an Oscar? You won? Ye?
Speaker 1: I bet she'll win with Sunset Boulevard the movie. Do
Speaker 1: you believe that this will happen, if Kats is going
Speaker 1: to happen? Yeah, all that. I just Glen's gotta win,
Speaker 1: Glenn's gotta How did she feel when she lost? Like
Speaker 1: what went through Sad? I was like I loved Olivia Coleman,
Speaker 1: and I was you know, but I was like poor
Speaker 1: Glennie poort Glennie and also Olivia wonderful, but also was
Speaker 1: not was not you know, and that was not the
Speaker 1: lead performance in the film. Thank you. I mean that,
Speaker 1: that's what we were saying. And let's just say come
Speaker 1: and said you said that, Um, and here's the thing,
Speaker 1: Glenn and Sunset Boulevard, they better make it because you're right,
Speaker 1: we're gonna get cats. And then then I thought to myself,
Speaker 1: when you said, well, we're gonna get Cats. We're gonna
Speaker 1: get Sunset Boulevard. And I thought, yeah, but Cats has
Speaker 1: like Taylor Swift in it, So what will we have
Speaker 1: to do to sex up Sunset Boulevard to get it made?
Speaker 1: Maybe modernize it. I think we could get us like
Speaker 1: a thing that likes like a modern thing. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's got to have that grand It's got to be
Speaker 1: silent movie starr because there's about right. We didn't need words,
Speaker 1: we had faces. Yes, we didn't need wood and um.
Speaker 1: But it's it's also like was going to say, but
Speaker 1: my thing is, would they make like uh Andrew laid
Speaker 1: Weber stuff in that close proximity like Cats? I mean, like,
Speaker 1: how long do we have to wait until Cats is
Speaker 1: a hit? Yeah? I think it will be. Yeah, Taylor
Speaker 1: Swift is and I know, but we'll get it with
Speaker 1: like like two or three or four years later. I
Speaker 1: think we got it in two years. I think so too,
Speaker 1: because look, I mean she at the end of the day.
Speaker 1: But it's not like we're getting Sondheim stuff after it
Speaker 1: into the woods, you know what I'm saying? Right, Well,
Speaker 1: that wasn't was that a hit? Maybe it was it was.
Speaker 1: I don't think Sondheim translates to films. I know, I
Speaker 1: thought I thought Into the Woods was good, but I
Speaker 1: just don't. I think musical theater is Todd was bad.
Speaker 1: The film. Yeah, that's so funny. I know it's an idiot.
Speaker 1: I hate her. I'm kidding, Mom, if you're listening, come
Speaker 1: back to life. I can't tell you how bad. I'll
Speaker 1: tell you what I think. What what musicals I think work,
Speaker 1: like the big frothy ones like like Chicago, like the Spectacles,
Speaker 1: like Spray, Yeah, those work, Caine, Data Jones and but
Speaker 1: but like you know, complicated like musical musicals like that ship.
Speaker 1: That's not gonna work on Although you know what, would
Speaker 1: you know, what would make sense from Sondheim as a
Speaker 1: as a filmic thing is um is it merrily? No? No? Yeah? Right,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, Like if that would make sense where it's
Speaker 1: like you would it would be easier to just show
Speaker 1: that in an interesting way, not be bound by the
Speaker 1: structures of like theater. I don't know anyway, silly conversation. No,
Speaker 1: I don't think it is silly at all, because what
Speaker 1: we see now is a lot of the same, and
Speaker 1: I want to find a way to make this work.
Speaker 1: We need to find a way, and we need to
Speaker 1: find a way to make Shakespeare work right. We love Shakespeare, huh.
Speaker 1: We love the part when they lift her body up
Speaker 1: in Romeo and Jude Liett. I love Romeo and Juliet.
Speaker 1: I think teen Suicide? You need more of that? Am
Speaker 1: more teen Suicide as entertainment? Do you think that it
Speaker 1: was irresponsible of Shakespeare to write that? Yes? Do you
Speaker 1: think he's canceled? I think we are officially here to
Speaker 1: say we are sick and tired of these William Shakespeare
Speaker 1: gets to walk around West Hollywood protected, being a protected citizen.
Speaker 1: And why remember hot Shakespeare and Shakespeare in Love? Joseph findes, Oh,
Speaker 1: he was related to a handmaids tale? Now and he
Speaker 1: and Shakespeare in Love could very he was hot. I
Speaker 1: love hot people. I do. I I've just been into it.
Speaker 1: I've gotten into them lately. Now, what if he's a
Speaker 1: hot per? We now, well, subjectively, he might be hot
Speaker 1: to some people but might not be to others. That's
Speaker 1: the Oh, no, Aaron Chalk is not hot. There you
Speaker 1: go hot or not? Dot com dot com? Okay, ready,
Speaker 1: And I was going to say the name of people,
Speaker 1: and we're going to say if they're hot. Everyone turned
Speaker 1: to Emma and go really hot, really good athlete, hot
Speaker 1: and a nice and a nice man, salty hole. Did
Speaker 1: you meet him? Yeah? I thought crazy warehouse. He went
Speaker 1: to a warehouse party. He got to meet Gus and
Speaker 1: I have not I have yet to meet gusset Man
Speaker 1: and we love Matt and Matt and Guess are both
Speaker 1: at this party, and they were very nice. I bet
Speaker 1: they would be a joy. Have you guys had sex ever?
Speaker 1: Talking like a couple of fucking virgins? Okay, okay, next, next,
Speaker 1: next person? Can't I can't picture him. I have such
Speaker 1: a hard time remembering what men look like. He was
Speaker 1: Batman and Batman forever before George wait, before George Clooney,
Speaker 1: but after Michael Keaton. See, I can remember Keaton, and
Speaker 1: I can remember any that middle I've seen Nicole Kidman.
Speaker 1: I see he wasn't doctor Chase Meridian, Chase Mad Doctor
Speaker 1: Chase Meridian. It's culture. That movie is insane with Chris O'donnald, who,
Speaker 1: by the way, is dead. He passed away this morning.
Speaker 1: He passed away this morning. Every when he was like
Speaker 1: the hottest, hottest, Yeah, yeah, I'm slapping my thighs I
Speaker 1: bet he has a hairy hole. You know, he doesn't
Speaker 1: fight me on it. I honestly, I bet the only
Speaker 1: thing that is harry about him as his hole. I
Speaker 1: think otherwise he's completely Remember So when we went to
Speaker 1: that comic con thing, what was that flame Con? There
Speaker 1: was somebody there. One of the vendors had drawn up
Speaker 1: all these like hot, hot, hot like pictures of like
Speaker 1: be heroes. And I got so horny for these pictures
Speaker 1: that I bought a bunch of them. I know, I
Speaker 1: should have jacked off for I one or else I
Speaker 1: wouldn't have spent literally seventy on a picture of like
Speaker 1: a night wing but with his chest showing. Um. But
Speaker 1: the pictures are amazing, they're beautiful pictures. Um, they're gorgeous pictures. Illustrations.
Speaker 1: The illustrations come on of course, and um but yeah,
Speaker 1: I should have come first. But there was one really
Speaker 1: good picture of Chris O'Donnell and he looked so hot
Speaker 1: and I was like, wow, he was hot. End of thought.
Speaker 1: Next always jerk off Christian and doesn't do it for me.
Speaker 1: I don't like the body transformations. It's too chaotic. Again,
Speaker 1: I can't picture him. He really don't love his face. Can't.
Speaker 1: I don't like his face either, but the body is
Speaker 1: something else when it wants to be for me, It's
Speaker 1: all about face, all about face for me. Next one more? Yeah, absolutely, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I would like to like just put his legs behind
Speaker 1: his head and just leave the room and make you
Speaker 1: beg for it come back. The same of this episode
Speaker 1: is that he leaves a tease. I love to tease.
Speaker 1: I love edging. You're tearing up? Can I say I
Speaker 1: want to give props? I want to give props because
Speaker 1: I actually think it's odd that we discussed me as
Speaker 1: my doing my performance before as the porn star actress
Speaker 1: and we haven't commended Bowen on his fabulous sketch The
Speaker 1: Actress starring Emma Stone that he co wrote with Julio Torres,
Speaker 1: and that was Did you see that? That was funny?
Speaker 1: I loved, I shared, I liked, I shared, Um, I was,
Speaker 1: I was. Yes. I feel that I feel that that
Speaker 1: she could win an Emmy for that. I she literally
Speaker 1: I told you this, but she would do takes and
Speaker 1: then we would just like look at each other and
Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, yeah she's she's just she's
Speaker 1: really fucking talented. She deserves that, Oscar. Not that I
Speaker 1: ever called it into question before, but I was just like, oh,
Speaker 1: she didn't see La la land. But I loved her.
Speaker 1: She was fantastic in the Favor and I love the Favorite.
Speaker 1: The best performance in the Favorite, I really do. I
Speaker 1: think she's the protagonist. She is the protagonist, and I
Speaker 1: thought she gave the most difficult performance and the most
Speaker 1: like I gotta see, I gotta if. I truly a
Speaker 1: culture number forty one Emma Stone, who gave the best performance. Wow, um,
Speaker 1: you know the actresses was really fun um And it
Speaker 1: was just me and Julio just clockety clock in yeah.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't even like this thing of like, well
Speaker 1: where should this guy? And it was just like let's
Speaker 1: just write it. Yeah. And then and then I was
Speaker 1: just like, oh, she should have a voice over throughout
Speaker 1: the whole thing that like talks like talks through her process.
Speaker 1: And then and then and then we're just like, let's
Speaker 1: call back the things that you friends the ben And
Speaker 1: that's if you haven't seen the actress yet, that s
Speaker 1: and L sketch, that bone and who you wrote, you
Speaker 1: should check it out. It will be linked with the
Speaker 1: episode as long as as well as the porn if
Speaker 1: you click the wrong one and s f W boo.
Speaker 1: So it is time for I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: with our own coal, who has done this many times.
Speaker 1: He's been our amazing part of our lives shows in
Speaker 1: the past, and of course he's a veteran of the
Speaker 1: pod um and so we're gonna do. I don't think so,
Speaker 1: honey now. And I actually have something I thought of
Speaker 1: on the car right on the way here, which is important.
Speaker 1: It must be discussed. Okay, great, this is Matt Rodgers.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. Tony's time starts now. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. Melcie Eraser. Here is the deal. When
Speaker 1: you think about the Spice Girls, you think about everyone
Speaker 1: else except Melsie, and that is disgusting. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: If you think of the Spice Girls and the first
Speaker 1: thing you go to is Victoria Beckham. If Victoria Beckham
Speaker 1: is anonymous with the Spice Girls, I will eat my
Speaker 1: hat because she won't even go out there and tour
Speaker 1: with them. Now. Currently he's making her shoes, her brooches,
Speaker 1: her vests, her gowns. And I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, Ginger, Ginger left the group.
Speaker 1: If the first thing you think of when you think
Speaker 1: the Spice Girls is you see that union jack dress.
Speaker 1: Guess what, that union jack dress walked its ass out
Speaker 1: of the group and therefore should not be synonymous with
Speaker 1: the group. Melby, Guess what A twirl and a dance
Speaker 1: on Dancing with the Stars and some clack and clack
Speaker 1: in on America's got talent or whatever the fun she's
Speaker 1: on is not Spice Girls. And she had nowhere near
Speaker 1: as good as a voice as Melsie. Baby Spice is
Speaker 1: just an image, honey. The singer and the voice of
Speaker 1: the Spice Girls was Melsie. Also, famously, never forget she
Speaker 1: had the most iconic song after which was I soun
Speaker 1: so you like a flower leaning to the sun. And
Speaker 1: if you don't know that, I don't think so. And
Speaker 1: that's one minute and eight seconds. Melsie does not get
Speaker 1: the credit she carried the Spice Girls. Very right, very true,
Speaker 1: very true. Wow, you can't even say anything, you can well,
Speaker 1: I was in I was just in London. There was
Speaker 1: um the guy that I was with wanted we had
Speaker 1: breakfast at this cereal place and there was a wall
Speaker 1: that was wallpapered with the Spice Girls, and he goes,
Speaker 1: why isn't Melcie on there? And I looked, and she
Speaker 1: was and he just didn't see her, and I was
Speaker 1: and yeah, so it's real. She's she is invisible too.
Speaker 1: I think it's because she gave to cross your eyes
Speaker 1: a little She's a magic eye. You have to cross
Speaker 1: your eyes a little bit and then back up. Because
Speaker 1: she gave a slightly homosexual energy. I think people were like,
Speaker 1: not her, so she was queer. She was a she
Speaker 1: was a queer icon. And I'm saying she wasn't, but
Speaker 1: like the image was. I was like, but she was, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: she was giving you something not feminine. Did you hear
Speaker 1: the t about how Ginger and Melby hooked up back
Speaker 1: in the day. Wait, Ginger and Meloby, by the way, scary,
Speaker 1: totally racist. Oh for her to be scary, she's scary.
Speaker 1: She has she has. My don't know, was something she
Speaker 1: picked because she had a larger than life. No, none
Speaker 1: of them, none picked them. It was a music journalist
Speaker 1: who who assigned these names to them, and then they
Speaker 1: just adopted like, oh scary because because why because why?
Speaker 1: I can't even say why they can't ashamed. Al right,
Speaker 1: so this is Bowen Yanks. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: and his time will begin now. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: my foreskin, I am finally over you. I used to
Speaker 1: where you as a badge of pride, but now you're
Speaker 1: just getting in my goddamn way, you know what. And
Speaker 1: while we're at my balls, you're blocking my taint, honey.
Speaker 1: And I like my taint. I happened, It's one of
Speaker 1: my favorite parts of my body and my balls. I
Speaker 1: don't know about you. It kind of feels like you're
Speaker 1: dead weight, honey, honey. And my scrolled um, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: you are? You hitched too much? Sometimes? And sometimes I
Speaker 1: get scared about what's what's going on down there. Everything's fine,
Speaker 1: I'm being tested, but it's just there's just a lot
Speaker 1: of business going on down there. And if it could
Speaker 1: all go, I and if you could all go, I
Speaker 1: would I would just do the surgery tomorrow. But my
Speaker 1: foreskin is just getting in the way. I start to
Speaker 1: feel self conscious about it. Now. Maybe I'll maybe I'll
Speaker 1: come back around on it soon, but right now I'm thinking,
Speaker 1: you gotta go. I don't think foreskin you're you're wrinkly,
Speaker 1: you're crazy, you're darker than the rest of my peanuts
Speaker 1: just one minute. Wow. Wow, you know you could get
Speaker 1: that right snipped right. I don't think you should. I'm
Speaker 1: famously uncut as well. Okay, and am I sitting at
Speaker 1: a table with two uncut Yes? I think so. I
Speaker 1: think you are. I think you are never never never listeners.
Speaker 1: Right now, look around you. Okay, look to your left,
Speaker 1: look to your right. One of those people, statistically is uncut.
Speaker 1: One of those people. And now looking at ut and
Speaker 1: now it's on you to suck it. It's on you
Speaker 1: two sucks like that, Dick, Yes, absolutely, well, well with
Speaker 1: that challenge. Well, my problem is I don't like when
Speaker 1: a lot of guys fetishize the foreskin and then they're
Speaker 1: like all over it, and I'm like, just treat it like,
Speaker 1: Just treat me like a regular regular Dick. Treat me
Speaker 1: like a regular boy. Treat me like a regular ball.
Speaker 1: That would be a really lapone. You You need to
Speaker 1: take like one hour and perfect a Patti Lapone impression,
Speaker 1: because you have it. I have the horrible and it's
Speaker 1: just it's something. Maybe it's the long Island thing because
Speaker 1: she's also are getting into the process. Usually didn't to
Speaker 1: kneel down some some sort of character affect. I just
Speaker 1: think that's all it would take him, Yes, it would
Speaker 1: take yes, Yes, great, I agree. If someone else has
Speaker 1: done this already, cut me off and I'll start. I
Speaker 1: hate it when people do this, when they ask if
Speaker 1: someone else done this? It doesn't matter, Okay, I really
Speaker 1: can Okay, Wow, listen, honey, as time starts now, I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, paper straw, my god, I you
Speaker 1: have to because if here's because if you don't drink
Speaker 1: it fast enough, that straw will dissolve. And look, I've
Speaker 1: got one right now, and now I can't get these
Speaker 1: last SIPs up. I would have better luck pouring this
Speaker 1: on my ball sack and sucking it out of the
Speaker 1: wrinkles in my balls than I would getting it out
Speaker 1: of this cup with this fucking paper straw. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean? And and and and like, Okay, you
Speaker 1: you don't you want you care about the environment, You
Speaker 1: don't want animals to choke on plastic, But guess what
Speaker 1: you know? You care about sea creatures that much. Stop
Speaker 1: eating seafood. Stop, stop stop eating seafood. Okay, my water bottles.
Speaker 1: Give me a fucking plastic straw, Okay, I would please,
Speaker 1: And I still have seven seconds. And you know what,
Speaker 1: my dad, by the way, fought in Vietnam, and that's
Speaker 1: one minute. Your dad didn't fight in viet We could
Speaker 1: have this, thank you. No, I was wast was like
Speaker 1: fighting Vietnam. Both of you are fucking dumb because you're
Speaker 1: white and your dad did not fight in Vietnam and
Speaker 1: fucking liars draft dodger white. Both are you stupid. I'm
Speaker 1: sitting here with two stupid uncutting people, stupid two uncuts
Speaker 1: in a cut. It's because my my foreskin isn't that
Speaker 1: isn't rang enough to be like pulled over and yanked on,
Speaker 1: and so it just hurts. They tuck at it and
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, Jess, it's just stop tugging everyone, And
Speaker 1: that's really stop tugging. Maybe stop tugging. It's a good
Speaker 1: title about stupid uncut white white. Stupid uncut white, stupid
Speaker 1: uncut white. I mean, what an app this is? This
Speaker 1: is this was fun. I didn't like the last one,
Speaker 1: but this one I like the last one. You know,
Speaker 1: who cares. I'm nervous you were about to go on
Speaker 1: a date. I was you thought you think that that
Speaker 1: was preoccupying you. No, no, you were nervous to do
Speaker 1: that this show, of course, and why because you guys
Speaker 1: are so rude. Were very rude. Everyone knows it, Everyone
Speaker 1: talks about it. We were two cuns last night at
Speaker 1: the show. You had fifty comedians. We were actually we
Speaker 1: overbooked it wildly. Well. All anyone could talk about backstage
Speaker 1: was like, were they that email is rude? Like he
Speaker 1: looked at me weird? It was just Yeah. What we
Speaker 1: like to do is create a negative, toxic, potentially dangerous
Speaker 1: for many people in the community, and invite as many
Speaker 1: people as we can to share in that toxicity to
Speaker 1: everyone knows to feel bad, yea, and I think it
Speaker 1: work and it works. Okay, well I feel toxic and bad.
Speaker 1: I feel toxic and bad. But oh I love our
Speaker 1: guests so much. And you can find them on tindergoldind Gold,
Speaker 1: swipe right and call in for your chance for two
Speaker 1: free tickets. We end with the song Rude is Lonely,
Speaker 1: Rude calm play, I don't know what it's is a
Speaker 1: caver charm life, ca cab chop, chob ro forever. This
Speaker 1: has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Ballum,
Speaker 1: Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please
Speaker 1: visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our
Speaker 1: shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1: Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following
Speaker 1: us on Twitter and Instagram at forever Dog Team, and
Speaker 1: liking our page on Facebook.