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Speaker 1: Hi, guys, Welcome to another episode of Diamonds in the

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Speaker 1: Rough with myself Teddy Millon Camp and.

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Speaker 2: I am Erica Jane. Today today we who are you?

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Speaker 3: Normally? I don't fucking know, ted what is going on?

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Speaker 2: E I was feeling very sorry for myself as I

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Speaker 2: drove over here, and then I thought I have nothing

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Speaker 2: to feel sorry about, because I thought of you.

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Speaker 3: Listen, we all get a second to feel fait a second.

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Speaker 2: You get a second, and then you have to bounce

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Speaker 2: back up. That's all.

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Speaker 3: So you bounced back yep, So you're not going to

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Speaker 3: share with me.

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Speaker 2: I just went, no, I can share with you. It's

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Speaker 2: not that big of a deal. I was just feeling tired,

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Speaker 2: but kind of like crabby for no particular reason, and

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Speaker 2: it just it doesn't you know. Sometimes I get crabby

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, you know why, there's no real Erica,

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Speaker 2: it's not that big of a deal. You start thinking about, well, look,

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Speaker 2: you know, it's really not that big of a deal.

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Speaker 3: And then you start making up in your head why

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Speaker 3: you can't do something.

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Speaker 2: Of course, and it becomes bigger than it really is,

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Speaker 2: and you make excuses for yourself. And I really don't

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Speaker 2: have any and then I get disappointed that I know

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Speaker 2: I'm doing it.

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Speaker 1: Well. I get that way even with errans, like I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I need to go buy new like bras, sure, and

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Speaker 1: I'll be like, well, that's annoying.

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Speaker 2: Well, I don't want to annoying. A lot of things

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Speaker 2: are annoying, but you don't have to do them anyway.

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Speaker 2: And I think I was just feeling sorry for myself

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Speaker 2: on the way over here. So, but but you seem

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Speaker 2: like you're you're back on track. I ditched in the driveway.

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Speaker 3: You left it there were like dove leaves all of

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Speaker 3: her trash.

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Speaker 2: Does she really today?

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Speaker 1: I went out to follow after what I mean trash,

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Speaker 1: She like will have snacks and then she'll just like

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Speaker 1: leave her snack bags out there.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, excuse me, done done. You're not going to

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Speaker 3: get these snacks.

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Speaker 1: If you're just gonna be leaving them all, we can't

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Speaker 1: do that. She's very booked up. But yeah, it's been

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Speaker 1: I feel a little tied today too. But now I'm

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Speaker 1: all hyped up on caffeine. Sorry, don't come for me, guys,

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Speaker 1: I'm on my second.

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Speaker 2: Grade to do whatever you want. Tell me what's going

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Speaker 2: on with you? Well?

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Speaker 1: Tomorrow is the day that I go to the oncologist

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Speaker 1: and all of the specialists and they do.

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Speaker 3: My MRI to see if anymore like.

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Speaker 1: Because last time I went to get my MRI, I

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Speaker 1: had more tumors. Sure, so this week, you know, tomorrow

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Speaker 1: I go in and find out if I have more tumors,

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Speaker 1: if they've grown, if they've shrunk, and then I also

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Speaker 1: do immunotherapy. But the concern with this one is like

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Speaker 1: I really one hundred percent thought like I'm like, I'm good,

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Speaker 1: they've definitely shrunk. I haven't been having headaches or feeling weird,

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Speaker 1: Like right, I'm good. And then today, hold on, you

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Speaker 1: have Okay, today I have a headache. But maybe that's

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Speaker 1: stress what I'm saying. Well, And then the doctor wrote

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Speaker 1: something that like, you know, we had to send to

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Speaker 1: a couple different people, but it was just like how

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Speaker 1: stress you know, then it'll so that the cord is

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Speaker 1: all released, especially when you have cancer.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like I'm sure it's like super high.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like super high. And so it's like all

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Speaker 1: that nervous energy and I'm just like just chill.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's very hard for you to do that. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: this is a tough one.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so this is a toughie. Plus it's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: if they have grown or if I have more the

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Speaker 1: conversations I'm going to have to have with my kids

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Speaker 1: post is already like giving me.

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Speaker 2: Anxiety, anxiety because I should.

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Speaker 3: I mean, it'll be a dream. I'll be so happy.

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Speaker 1: I've been really trying to be positive thinking that they're

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Speaker 1: going to go and be like, guess what.

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Speaker 3: This time it worked right. But I'm also and have fear.

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Speaker 2: I think that you are very right to be a

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Speaker 2: normal human being and have fear, and I think that

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Speaker 2: we also need to be hopeful and positive. But Teddy, like,

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Speaker 2: what you're facing is fucking unreal. It's not it's a

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Speaker 2: big deal.

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Speaker 3: And it sounds so silly, but like everything in my

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Speaker 3: life has.

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Speaker 2: Changed so much that's not silly at all.

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Speaker 1: That like even you know, next week, I'm going it's

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Speaker 1: the first time I'm going to like a like we

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Speaker 1: talk sometimes about like the pressures of Hollywood or the

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Speaker 1: pressures of being in the business, But next week's the

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Speaker 1: first week that I have to wear like a black

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Speaker 1: tie dress. Yeah, And I was like trying them on

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Speaker 1: and I was like, well, this isn't going to work. Well,

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Speaker 1: this isn't because nothing you know, fits anything. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: it feels so like depressing, depressing, and I'm like, you know,

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Speaker 1: at least there was a point like when I start

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Speaker 1: thinking back, then you go down like the timeline of

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Speaker 1: all the shitty things that have happened, and we all

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Speaker 1: do it in our lives, and I'm like, this isn't

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Speaker 1: a shitty thing. That's not that big of a deal.

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Speaker 1: Just like go get something else. But like I'm beating

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Speaker 1: myself up over it.

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Speaker 2: That's normal. I understand why you would too. Yeah, absolutely,

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Speaker 2: especially like look at the business we're in. Yeah, you're

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Speaker 2: also really used to looking a certain way, and you're

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Speaker 2: very strict with your you're very disciplined with your fitness

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Speaker 2: and you know your nutrition, and so something like this

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Speaker 2: would Yeah, I get it.

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Speaker 1: And I had to depress thing last week. And I'm

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Speaker 1: not to call the person out, but they were like,

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Speaker 1: how do you feel about the fact that your body's changed?

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Speaker 4: And I was like, wow, that's nice, and like, you know,

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Speaker 4: I was a little like come on, and I was like,

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Speaker 4: I didn't mention this to you before we started this interview,

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Speaker 4: so like you just saw it and just felt and

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Speaker 4: then it like all those old things.

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Speaker 2: And conversations just got kicked right back.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, but I just think it's important.

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Speaker 1: Like when people ask about plastic surgery or about whatever,

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Speaker 1: it's like we all have to do what we're comfortable with.

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Speaker 1: And like I'm super comfortable talking about plastic surgery, I'm

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Speaker 1: not super comfortable talking about like when I'm going through

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Speaker 1: hard times, like talking about my body.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like body changes, yes, my.

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Speaker 1: Body changes, and there's it's it's different than before where

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Speaker 1: I'm like, well, I'm just gonna go for a run.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna take care of myself and take that right now.

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Speaker 1: Like sometimes I can't do it and it might not work. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And it's like completely different when it's from steroids.

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Speaker 3: So it's like all of these things.

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Speaker 1: So if I'm a little fast talking today, guys, this

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Speaker 1: is why, like some of my past.

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Speaker 3: In securities, which I know is like a forbidden.

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Speaker 2: Word, it is why.

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Speaker 3: Well, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I remember like there was like a Housewives episode where

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Speaker 1: someone's like you, you know you feel insecure and not.

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Speaker 1: I think it was maybe to Camille, and like that

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Speaker 1: was the ultimate like put down.

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Speaker 2: We're all we all are insecure like every human on

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Speaker 2: this planet has insecurities. There's not a soul that is

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Speaker 2: not without them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, soul, it just it is what it is.

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Speaker 1: And I think that that's if you guys are having

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Speaker 1: a moment where you feel insecure, I mean.

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Speaker 3: Then like something will happen.

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Speaker 1: I'll be like today, I really I could put my

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Speaker 1: wig in a ponytail and like it.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, you know the theory, did you right?

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Speaker 1: Like, yeah, I mean it might go up and downlytics.

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Speaker 3: I did it myself today, But I'm like, I'm pretty

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Speaker 3: excited about this.

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Speaker 2: Live your life, you know, I think you look good.

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Speaker 3: Any other action going on with you?

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Speaker 1: Before we get into the discussion of toxic masculinity and

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Speaker 1: toxic femininity.

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Speaker 2: There is toxic femininity. No, I went to New York,

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Speaker 2: uh for the weekend to do a job. I can't

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Speaker 2: tell you what it is, which is really nice and

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Speaker 2: so it was nice.

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Speaker 3: To We're going to see it.

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Speaker 1: Is it something having to do with Broadway or is

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Speaker 1: it something having to do with the television.

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Speaker 2: It's on television.

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Speaker 3: Okay, did you go out it all while you're there?

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Speaker 2: No, it was strictly like come in, work, leave, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but it was nice. I mean, you know, there's something

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Speaker 2: fun and I think you appreciate this too, about it's

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Speaker 2: almost like a mission. You know, I've got to go here,

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Speaker 2: perform this, and then come home. I kind of like

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Speaker 2: those things. They're fast, they're furious, but it makes me

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Speaker 2: feel alive, you know.

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Speaker 1: I know that's kind of I think that's why it's

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Speaker 1: still other than being able to go with Slate, but

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Speaker 1: it's still the horse shows. I'm like, oh, I get

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Speaker 1: to leave my house. I get to do this, and

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Speaker 1: then even if I get tired, I'll just go back

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Speaker 1: to the hotel and rest a little bit.

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Speaker 3: But like having that like.

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Speaker 2: It's of course, it's something that's necessary. It is necessary.

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Speaker 2: You're also a competitive person. This is also you living

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Speaker 2: your life and being as normal as possible.

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Speaker 1: And people think that this podcast studio is inside. Like

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Speaker 1: everyone's always like, well, you leave your house every day

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Speaker 1: to go to your podcast.

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Speaker 2: Got here, fore you the beds right here?

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Speaker 3: My bed is right here.

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Speaker 2: The bed is right here, Okay, And you know what's

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Speaker 2: on the other side of this little thing a treadmill exactly.

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Speaker 2: You know what's right here a couch, and right there

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Speaker 2: is an infrared sauna which you cannot see. So we're

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Speaker 2: not leaving.

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Speaker 3: This house often.

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Speaker 4: Guys.

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Speaker 3: Now we're in it deep.

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Speaker 2: All right, let's talk about this today. We're talking about

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Speaker 2: toxic masculinity, toxic femininity and gender roles and relationships. Are

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Speaker 2: you dating? Yes?

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Speaker 3: And I've been getting a lot of hell.

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Speaker 2: But do people know that Edwin's dating too?

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Speaker 3: Well? I don't.

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Speaker 1: I think people want, in a weird way, want me

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Speaker 1: to be the bad guy.

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Speaker 3: But I'm like, we are on good terms. We have

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Speaker 3: come up.

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Speaker 1: We decided that we were going to be open and

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Speaker 1: honest with each other and try to do whatever we

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Speaker 1: can to be the best parents that we can. But

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Speaker 1: also this is an agreement we came up with. We

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Speaker 1: were getting a divorce prior.

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Speaker 2: To all of this, to all of it, and also

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Speaker 2: to it's your life and people need to butt out

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Speaker 2: and his as well, and like saying, like, however, you

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Speaker 2: guys want to do this. You're both dating people, you're

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Speaker 2: both going out, Like everybody needs to reserve your judgment.

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Speaker 2: You're not living in this home with them. You don't

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Speaker 2: know what's going on. You're outside there commenting, just shut

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Speaker 2: the fuck up.

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Speaker 3: And it's like why, And I feel like that's where it.

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Speaker 2: Don't take the time to tell me to fuck off, okay.

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Speaker 1: And that's that's why it's also like it could be

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Speaker 1: so toxic because people are like, well, don't you have

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Speaker 1: bigger things you should be concerned with?

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, don't you.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, don't we freaking all? And I'm not like

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Speaker 1: sliming around trying to.

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Speaker 2: Hurt mynn't to explain yourself to anybody, I know, but

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Speaker 2: I that's why you don't have to explain yourself to anybody.

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Speaker 3: But I think, you know, I think it's necessary. The

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Speaker 3: biggest thing.

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Speaker 1: For all of us is to feel, you know, supported

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Speaker 1: and happy and enjoying our time.

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Speaker 2: I think you need to feel supported and happy from

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Speaker 2: the people that know you and care about you, that

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Speaker 2: are right here with you, and we do love and

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Speaker 2: support you, and we know that you are a really

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Speaker 2: like great mom.

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Speaker 1: And I mean it's not like I mean, guys, I

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Speaker 1: go to about eight thirty every night.

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Speaker 3: I think it's an early date.

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Speaker 2: If it's a date, we had to start the Kyle

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Speaker 2: thing at six promptly because she was out by eight.

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Speaker 2: And we're not lying.

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Speaker 3: This is how it is. Have you gone on any

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Speaker 3: day since last time? I saw you.

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Speaker 2: No, but I went to New York to go to work. Well,

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Speaker 2: and that is just dissatisfying.

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Speaker 1: This is the problem is that I am always word

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Speaker 1: vomiting all of my life.

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Speaker 2: But if I had something to say, I would I

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Speaker 2: just don't. Well, I need to get out there though.

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Speaker 1: I say this every week, say this every week, and

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Speaker 1: I honestly I'm going to start just I'm going to

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Speaker 1: be like a paparazzi sooner, just be following you around,

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Speaker 1: and then I'm gonna be like this week from Paparazzi Teddy.

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Speaker 1: I discovered you're.

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Speaker 2: Not going to get shirt because I am in bed

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Speaker 2: watching YouTube. YouTube I do.

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Speaker 3: I like to YouTube. Hold on to the new show.

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Speaker 1: What's the guy's name that always watches Housewives? That's John

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Speaker 1: Hamm John ham that wanted to strangle me, Oh do

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Speaker 1: you want to strangle You should just because I want

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Speaker 1: to take her and shake her and say those aren't

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Speaker 1: your ear rings? I didn't know who said that. But anyway,

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Speaker 1: his new show is really good. Not to throw him roses.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know that we can really.

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Speaker 1: I may like new show. I think it's good and

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Speaker 1: interesting in keeping me, but he just did his Mount

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Speaker 1: Rushmore for Bravoelebrities and he shows chapros.

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Speaker 2: Oh you're you're Kathy Hilton and Craig Conover.

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Speaker 1: So but what are your thoughts on Okay, clearly your

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Speaker 1: breakup was a very and then we'll get on to it.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, sorry, sorry, but this is okay.

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Speaker 3: I say, we just have to always go ROAs it's.

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Speaker 2: Good just to your thing.

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Speaker 1: But your breakup was a very public breakup. But do

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Speaker 1: you think there's a requirement when you're on reality television

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Speaker 1: to let people know when that's happened.

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Speaker 2: At some point if it's real. I think that, Like, look,

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Speaker 2: I think at some point, let's take for example, like

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Speaker 2: de MPK and then there was the constant he's not here,

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Speaker 2: he's not there, or Mauricio and Kyle. At some point

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Speaker 2: you have to say, yes, this is what's going on. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I agree, at some point you do, because it's not

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Speaker 2: it's not like oh they were out one weekend. You know,

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Speaker 2: if it's consistently something separate, at some point you got

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Speaker 2: to say, yeah, we're separated.

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Speaker 3: And I lied. I have one other thing.

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Speaker 1: I need a Were you heartbroken when garcel and followed

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Speaker 1: you devastated?

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Speaker 2: I'm about as heartbroken as she was when I am

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Speaker 2: followed her back.

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Speaker 3: Ah damn, Now I need to do my first unfollow. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'm such a dork.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So this all started this conversation because Tracy Ellis

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Speaker 1: Ross said she dates younger men because men her age

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Speaker 1: are steeped and toxic masculinity.

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Speaker 2: What does that mean to you? Toxic masculinity? Well, I

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Speaker 2: think it's like.

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Speaker 1: For me, I know a lot about toxic positivity because

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Speaker 1: I bet you do both and wellness world.

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Speaker 2: I bet you do. And have people been talks, Yes,

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Speaker 2: I bet you do.

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Speaker 1: Because even like you know, when you think about some

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Speaker 1: of like the best motivational speakers, then I meet them,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you're a freaking narcissistic asshole.

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Speaker 2: Most everybody in our necess a freaking narcissistic asshole. Also,

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Speaker 2: two people are humans.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, when it comes to toxic masculinity, I mean dating younger,

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Speaker 1: I mean that just means it's.

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Speaker 3: Going to come later, right, Well, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I think that is it a trade off? You're you're

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Speaker 2: trading off toxic masculinity for inexperience and I'm not sure

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Speaker 2: which one I prefer. And then I'm kind of good

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Speaker 2: with the old toxic dudes.

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Speaker 3: You like old toxics.

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Speaker 2: I know I'm saying I have a lot of experience,

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Speaker 2: so I can't. I know what I'm looking at, and

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Speaker 2: like the younger dudes like the inexperience of it all.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think that you know what I really feel.

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Speaker 2: First off, I kind of feel like I need different

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Speaker 2: people to fill different uh seeds.

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Speaker 3: So you want to be on sister wives? That dude?

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Speaker 2: Of all do dudes? I'm sorry we're gonna talk about

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Speaker 2: I just want to say, if one broad brings these

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Speaker 2: men down, how the fuck are you gonna like four?

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Speaker 2: You know men are That's a that's a big undertaking.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna satisfy four women?

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Speaker 3: He doesn't even satisfy my eyes on the television screen.

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Speaker 2: He must be a beast in bed or something.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't think so.

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Speaker 1: I think he just was able to afford a house

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Speaker 1: that could have four different entrances.

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Speaker 2: Would you would you do something like that? Could you

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Speaker 2: be a sister wife?

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Speaker 1: No? Not. I could be a sister wife in the

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Speaker 1: way of like being couples and like living on a compound.

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Speaker 3: Really, yes, but not having sex with each other's partners.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, but like I could, I like, I would

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Speaker 1: be very selective with like my three other couples that

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Speaker 1: we lived with.

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Speaker 2: Of course, of course I would.

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Speaker 1: Be fine with that, like, Okay, well I'm gonna do this, Okay,

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Speaker 1: Well then I've got all the kids.

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Speaker 3: Like that idea is okay with you, That's okay with me.

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Speaker 1: Like I loved having my sister here, Oh yeah, that

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Speaker 1: kind of stuff. Like I was like and she would

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Speaker 1: go and be like, well, I'm gonna feed the kids dinner.

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Speaker 3: You want to do that? Like I love that divide

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Speaker 3: and conger aspect of it.

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00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:09,160
Speaker 2: It does feel like, at least from looking at sister wife, say,

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Speaker 2: they do the kids. They all take care of these children.

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00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's helpful.

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00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,080
Speaker 2: That is that seems really cool about it.

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Speaker 1: But I wouldn't want to be married to the same guy.

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Speaker 1: But when it comes to younger guys, I can say,

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Speaker 1: I am.

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00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,040
Speaker 3: I'm dating I met him.

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00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:26,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I did meet him.

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Speaker 3: He's very sweet, but I would say that, what.

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Speaker 1: Do you think, Well, one, he's not that much younger,

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00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,760
Speaker 1: But two, I would say I asked him, I said,

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Speaker 1: why would you be interested in dating somebody that's older?

365
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Speaker 1: Like I'm clearly not going to have more children. I'm

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Speaker 1: in the city, and he said, you know, I've been

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Speaker 1: dating a lot of younger girls at the younger than him,

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Speaker 1: girls like you know, by whatever, and he goes, They're

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Speaker 1: just interested in different things, and like, I'm not interested

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Speaker 1: in that in my life, like I want. I'm in

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Speaker 1: like my job in my life and having fun and

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Speaker 1: experiences and doing these things.

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Speaker 3: He's like, I don't really want to.

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00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:10,360
Speaker 1: Hear about the petty stuff that you care about when

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Speaker 1: you're twenty eight years old. I mean, he has a point,

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00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,240
Speaker 1: and he is not twenty eight for the record, he

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Speaker 1: is older than that, but like.

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Speaker 2: That was yeah, but he has a point. I know that,

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00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:23,800
Speaker 2: like because I've dated younger men too, and they say

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00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:27,280
Speaker 2: things like I like the fact that you are truly

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00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:31,680
Speaker 2: your own independent person and that you know I don't

382
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,920
Speaker 2: check up on anybody, Like if you want to go out,

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Speaker 2: go out for three fucking days and call me this.

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Speaker 2: But this is also the marriage that I had because

385
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:42,800
Speaker 2: I couldn't not control but I didn't even know where

386
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,919
Speaker 2: Tom was. So I think it's so ingrained in me

387
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,919
Speaker 2: that if I date somebody, I'm like, well fuck it.

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00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,400
Speaker 2: If you go away for I don't know. Yeah, knock

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Speaker 2: yourself out.

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00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:52,720
Speaker 3: I don't caring.

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00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:55,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, I think that's where we can talk about

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00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:58,680
Speaker 1: this toxic masculinity or toxics women like I don't at

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Speaker 1: this stage of my life. I don't want to be checked.

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00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:01,600
Speaker 1: I don't want something.

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Speaker 3: It's one thing to be like how you doing, thinking

396
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:03,880
Speaker 3: about you.

397
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:06,000
Speaker 2: But do not patrol or police my actions.

398
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:06,760
Speaker 3: I don't want it.

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00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:07,879
Speaker 2: Do not do that to me.

400
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:08,600
Speaker 3: I don't want to do it.

401
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:10,480
Speaker 2: If you want your freedom and you don't want me

402
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,879
Speaker 2: to bother you, then the same has to go for me.

403
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,120
Speaker 2: Like you cannot police me, you cannot know where I'm at.

404
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,560
Speaker 2: You will never have my phone. We do not share passwords.

405
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,760
Speaker 3: We're not sharing passwords. I don't want your location.

406
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:22,800
Speaker 2: I don't want your location.

407
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,200
Speaker 3: I've lived that life already.

408
00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:27,080
Speaker 1: Yes, well yeah, and I'm not saying that it's the

409
00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:29,959
Speaker 1: world's worst thing. But I don't want to feel like that.

410
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,320
Speaker 2: I don't want to feel like I have to check in,

411
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,480
Speaker 2: like I have to be home at a certain time.

412
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:38,160
Speaker 2: I have no dog, my son is grown and it's

413
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:41,240
Speaker 2: just me. I don't have brothers and sisters. So if

414
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:44,280
Speaker 2: I want to stay out all night, the only person

415
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:48,760
Speaker 2: I feel like I have to text is sometimes my child.

416
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,400
Speaker 3: Yeah sometimes and maybe sometimes lie.

417
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,280
Speaker 2: Right and lia just to let people know, yeah right,

418
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,520
Speaker 2: like don't worry about me. I'm over here.

419
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:56,840
Speaker 1: Yeah.

420
00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:58,600
Speaker 2: But other than that, I don't want to have to

421
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,920
Speaker 2: check in with somebody. And I don't want to have

422
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,199
Speaker 2: to you know, No, I'm tired of that.

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00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:07,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. And I think that also something that people don't

424
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,359
Speaker 1: necessarily realize. And I was as I was watching the

425
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,880
Speaker 1: show last night, not not housewives, guys, don't worry. I'm

426
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,400
Speaker 1: not like getting tips from housewives on marriages.

427
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:17,800
Speaker 3: CONTI married.

428
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,480
Speaker 2: Everybody blew up anyways.

429
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:25,160
Speaker 1: But it's like the way that your life changes as

430
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,119
Speaker 1: you get more successful. Like so as a man or

431
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:32,080
Speaker 1: as a woman, your marriage or your relationship is going

432
00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:36,200
Speaker 1: to change. If one person absolutely career change, yeah, somebody

433
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,120
Speaker 1: becomes the lead dog and then the other guy's got

434
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,040
Speaker 1: to become the follower.

435
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:39,800
Speaker 3: Yeah.

436
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:43,520
Speaker 1: And I think does it exist. I'm trying to think,

437
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:47,359
Speaker 1: like in the history of anybody, like, does it exist

438
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,920
Speaker 1: where there is two like equals equals?

439
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:54,640
Speaker 2: I mean, I think it's possible. Okay, look, anything is possible,

440
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 2: but I'm guessing that at some point they may start off.

441
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,280
Speaker 2: But as things change, I mean, but just that's the

442
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:02,040
Speaker 2: way life is.

443
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:06,000
Speaker 1: But one person is always going to have the upper hand,

444
00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 1: even if you are equals.

445
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,720
Speaker 2: I think I would imagine, so, whether it's financially or

446
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,880
Speaker 2: your personality, somebody's always going to have more than the other.

447
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,240
Speaker 2: But it's just about what is it? Is it more money?

448
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,800
Speaker 2: Is it more power? Is it more flexibility? Is it

449
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:23,760
Speaker 2: more is someone prettier or more handsome, somebody younger, older,

450
00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:26,119
Speaker 2: more educated. There's a lot of things it could be.

451
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:30,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also things change, But I have also realized

452
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 1: about me something I need to do. It's just like

453
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:34,840
Speaker 1: kind of being more open, like I'm not really into

454
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:36,359
Speaker 1: that or that kind of gave me the eck.

455
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,399
Speaker 2: I think. Yeah, I think you've earned the right to

456
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:42,000
Speaker 2: just say exactly how you feel. Yeah, and not like rude,

457
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,159
Speaker 2: but just like I don't want to do that.

458
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, But if you've been with somebody for twenty five years,

459
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:47,560
Speaker 1: you're not going to be like, hey, by the way,

460
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,000
Speaker 1: something you've been doing for the last twenty four point

461
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 1: five years has really been on bugget man.

462
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,680
Speaker 2: And I've waited all this time to tell you I've

463
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:59,240
Speaker 2: been just letting it faster slide for two decades plus.

464
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:04,480
Speaker 1: She also said she's done being someone's possession or prize.

465
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,639
Speaker 2: Let's your take on men who treat you like a

466
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,159
Speaker 2: status symbol instead of an equal partner, And have you

467
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,199
Speaker 2: ever dated one? I was never an equal partner in

468
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:15,480
Speaker 2: my marriage. I dated somebody that was well, excuse me.

469
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,960
Speaker 2: I married Tom, I think when he was sixty and

470
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,479
Speaker 2: I was twenty seven, so he was already made and

471
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 2: had made a ton of money, and so I married

472
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 2: a fully formed human and the power balance was way whack.

473
00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:32,679
Speaker 2: Was I a possession? I think that I was not?

474
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 2: In Yeah, yeah, somewhat like a doll in a way.

475
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,440
Speaker 2: I mean that sounds kind of weird, but just kind

476
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 2: of like a thing.

477
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 1: No, there wasn't there like a whole movie about this

478
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:47,480
Speaker 1: where you've become not a Stepford wife, but like everybody

479
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,160
Speaker 1: kind of falls into line. Yeah, but do you feel

480
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:53,120
Speaker 1: like there were times in your marriage where you were

481
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:54,400
Speaker 1: the most like that?

482
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:58,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course you're ten. Starting out right from the beginning,

483
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,240
Speaker 2: it was always Tom's life. Yeah, yeah, because Tom had

484
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 2: the bigger life. He was the most educated, the more experienced,

485
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,879
Speaker 2: and you know, obviously had the most money. So it

486
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 2: was it was all about Tom for a very long time,

487
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,280
Speaker 2: and I did fall into line. You do fall into line.

488
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,399
Speaker 2: A lot of women do that. They you know, you

489
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 2: hear women all the time say they lose themselves or

490
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:21,399
Speaker 2: their own identity. They start to become something like, you know,

491
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,600
Speaker 2: of their husband's life, or then the kids come and

492
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:25,960
Speaker 2: then they become a month full time.

493
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,199
Speaker 3: And I also think, you know, we could put all

494
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,199
Speaker 3: the place on them, like all the blame on the men.

495
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:32,960
Speaker 3: But I think sometimes it can be us.

496
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:37,280
Speaker 1: Like I found myself without ever being asked to go

497
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 1: above and beyond to try to make another person happy

498
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:41,160
Speaker 1: before myself.

499
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 2: That is very true. And we as women have to

500
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,840
Speaker 2: be able to step back and say, wait a second,

501
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:51,439
Speaker 2: why am I doing this? Is this because I'm conditioned

502
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 2: to do it? Is it something I saw? Is this

503
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,240
Speaker 2: something I really want to do?

504
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:55,760
Speaker 1: You know?

505
00:22:55,960 --> 00:23:00,320
Speaker 2: And that I don't think that we give ourselves enough

506
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,920
Speaker 2: time to say, wait a second, is this really what

507
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,800
Speaker 2: I want to do? Because I think that sometimes women

508
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 2: start families and they may not be ready as well.

509
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also then we want to blame the other person. Truly,

510
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:17,120
Speaker 1: can you made these decisions? I remember, you know, I've

511
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 1: been married twice now, so like There has been times

512
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 1: where I've done things that like no one asked me

513
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 1: to do, but I wanted to do it, and then

514
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 1: I had resentment towards it, and that's on you and

515
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:29,879
Speaker 1: that's on me.

516
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,120
Speaker 3: It was a decision I made, That's right. So I think, yes,

517
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 3: do I think.

518
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 1: There's such thing as toxic masculinity or toxic Yeah, But

519
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,200
Speaker 1: I really think it's more based on the person, Like

520
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 1: you either have empathy and you have self realization and

521
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,200
Speaker 1: your relationships or you don't.

522
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 2: I think you have to first, I think, I mean,

523
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 2: looking back at it now, the more you know yourself,

524
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,200
Speaker 2: the more comfortable you are in your own skin, the

525
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 2: more you've cleaned up, you're on side of the street,

526
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,920
Speaker 2: through the thing, whatever it is. Then you're able to

527
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,679
Speaker 2: really look at things from an objective point of view

528
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 2: and say, you know what, I'm not doing that, or

529
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:07,440
Speaker 2: I do I actually do want to do this, and

530
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 2: then you have to run a less risk of having

531
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,879
Speaker 2: resentment later on because you're like, no, I made a

532
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,920
Speaker 2: conscious choice. It's when you do things from you know,

533
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 2: like unconscious choices that you end up feeling kind of

534
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 2: weird about it.

535
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, And you know what Tracy elis Ross may changed

536
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,879
Speaker 1: her mind and be like, you know what now, all

537
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 1: of a sudden, I don't want to be the you

538
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,240
Speaker 1: know now that I'm dating younger I don't want to

539
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:36,920
Speaker 1: be the one making these decisions. I miss that feeling, hurse.

540
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,479
Speaker 1: But I mean, I don't know that that necessarily has

541
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,399
Speaker 1: to do with age. I think it has because it

542
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 1: says dating younger men. I think it has to do

543
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 1: with personality type. I do too, Like you're like I

544
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 1: say to people all the time, I'm like, don't ask

545
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 1: me where I want to go to dinner. Make the decision,

546
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 1: make the decision. I make every other decision in my life,

547
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 1: like if we're going to hang.

548
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 2: Out, not me and I know I like you and

549
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 2: a guy? Yeah, like you take me somewhere, Yeah, like

550
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 2: take me something.

551
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 3: Doesn't have to be nice. It's not about money, it's

552
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 3: about just don't make me make those decisions.

553
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 2: Do you find it attractive when men are more emotionally

554
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 2: open and available, or do you prefer it when they

555
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 2: are stoic.

556
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 3: I think sometimes stoic can come off as not.

557
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 2: Caring, comes off as yes, indifferent, yeah, which.

558
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,720
Speaker 3: I think is the worst. What I want somebody that's

559
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:26,040
Speaker 3: crying around all the time. Absolutely not.

560
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:27,639
Speaker 2: No, I think there's a nice balance.

561
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:27,880
Speaker 3: Yeah.

562
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 2: You want somebody that is in touch with your feelings

563
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 2: and their emotions and being able to communicate that to you.

564
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 2: Because when someone's not, like you feel like you're talking

565
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:41,439
Speaker 2: to the wall. Yeah, that is nowhere to be and.

566
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:42,919
Speaker 3: Then you know, I'm okay.

567
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 1: Like if somebody just walks out of the room, I

568
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:47,879
Speaker 1: think that's rude. But if somebody's like, hey I need

569
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 1: a minute, I understand that.

570
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:54,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's reasonable, that's real. I think sometimes just a

571
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 2: clear communication, like I don't need a whole lot of words,

572
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:58,760
Speaker 2: but if you could just let me know, like hey

573
00:25:58,800 --> 00:25:59,399
Speaker 2: I need a second.

574
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:01,680
Speaker 3: Hey, that to hurt my feelings, I need to sorry,

575
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 3: you know.

576
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:03,240
Speaker 2: I apologize that.

577
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 1: You know.

578
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you can just say something, then I'm okay

579
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 2: with that.

580
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 1: Do you think that people are getting to the point

581
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:15,120
Speaker 1: where women are expecting the total package?

582
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:18,359
Speaker 2: I think every man and woman expects the total package

583
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:19,880
Speaker 2: when you're young, and then when you're like my age,

584
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:21,359
Speaker 2: you look back and you go, I'm just looking for

585
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:25,679
Speaker 2: somebody that's decent in a heartbur you know, like certainly

586
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:30,120
Speaker 2: you're just looking for a decent human. Yeah, because what package,

587
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 2: Like I had all that and look at where it

588
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:32,200
Speaker 2: got me.

589
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,119
Speaker 3: You know, so it got you unpacked?

590
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:42,240
Speaker 2: Honey, I couldn't have said it, yeah unpacked.

591
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 3: For sure, you got unpacked.

592
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 2: I got taken to the cleaner.

593
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:48,399
Speaker 3: Clean it up, clean it up.

594
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 2: Mean, my god, this is devastating. But you are right,

595
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 2: I got unpacked, and I yeah, you know, the total package,

596
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,679
Speaker 2: define total package, and I.

597
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:03,680
Speaker 1: Can guarantee that we're not the total package either, Like

598
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 1: whoever thinks that I'm going to be the total package.

599
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh god, I think everybody knows I'm a disaster.

600
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 2: So it doesn't even matter, do you think that?

601
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 3: Hold on, let me see which one I want next?

602
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 1: Sorry?

603
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 3: What does safety actually feel like to.

604
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,359
Speaker 2: You in a relationship? This is very important for me lately.

605
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:22,439
Speaker 3: Okay, So.

606
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 2: Safety for me is confident, Like if I tell you something,

607
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:32,720
Speaker 2: it remains between us. I'm talking like male female, I

608
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 2: mean yeah, male female, not like friends right now, which

609
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 2: is I also confidence is a big thing, but male female.

610
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 2: I need to know that what I say to you

611
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 2: stays between us. I also need to know that you're

612
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 2: not sharing anything that we do intimately with anyone else,

613
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,399
Speaker 2: meaning like running your mouth. I know, that sounds crazy,

614
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:59,879
Speaker 2: but it's important for me. I don't know why. I

615
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:05,240
Speaker 2: also need to be assured that you want to get

616
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:08,359
Speaker 2: to know me as a person. Yeah, that is what

617
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 2: instead of what you think of. Yeah, and I also

618
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:17,119
Speaker 2: need somebody that understands that maybe what you've been told

619
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:20,399
Speaker 2: or what you've been shown isn't the complete picture of

620
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:20,919
Speaker 2: who I am.

621
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 1: I mean, I agree with that. For me, safety is

622
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:27,640
Speaker 1: more just like I think I do have. I'm such

623
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:31,160
Speaker 1: an overthinker in general. Safety for me is like you're

624
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,920
Speaker 1: not going to make me overthink everything, right, Like I

625
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,240
Speaker 1: don't want to play games. No, I don't want to

626
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 1: have to worry that I said this and it bothered you.

627
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:41,360
Speaker 2: Well i'll too. If you say you're going to call

628
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 2: it five, call it five five, Yeah, because by five

629
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 2: thirty I'm over it and I've got a ton of

630
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 2: shit to do.

631
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 1: Well.

632
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:49,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like you don't have to call me every night,

633
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:50,640
Speaker 3: but if you're gonna say I'm gonna.

634
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:53,280
Speaker 2: Call you, please do it just so I can like, yeah,

635
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 2: it could be two.

636
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 3: Seconds or centertypes. Hey, things got busy. Like just communication

637
00:28:58,760 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 3: in general feels.

638
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,480
Speaker 2: Like say it feels it's safe and it's considerate, and

639
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 2: then I also know what to do next, Like I

640
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 2: can't I run such a tight schedule that if it's

641
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 2: six o'clock at six o'clock, yeah, don't you know?

642
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 3: Yeah?

643
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:27,680
Speaker 1: For me, I at this point in my life, being

644
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:32,360
Speaker 1: nurtured is something I need. I don't know that I

645
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 1: necessarily needed it before, or I didn't know that I

646
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 1: needed it before.

647
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,440
Speaker 3: I need it now, But I need it now.

648
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 2: What about you, I'll always need it. You always need it, Yeah,

649
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 2: I think because that nurturing to me is a give

650
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 2: and take, Like I want to nurture my person and

651
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 2: I want them to nurture me. I think that's a

652
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 2: good thing.

653
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree. And then what is your thoughts on

654
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 3: being an independent woman?

655
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:58,200
Speaker 2: I think that that's a great idea. Yeah, and I

656
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 2: think that it works too. I think it works to

657
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 2: a point. But like in life, you have to you

658
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 2: can't do everything by yourself. Just as a human being,

659
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 2: like we all, it's a collaborative being. A human being

660
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 2: is being a collaborative. We're a collaborative species. So I

661
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,720
Speaker 2: think that you know, yes, I think you should. One

662
00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:18,320
Speaker 2: thing I've learned is you should have your own money.

663
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 2: You should be in control of your own money. But

664
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 2: you're also going to need help in some ways. That's

665
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 2: not being you know, that's not not being an independent U. Yeah.

666
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 3: Do you think that a lot of.

667
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,480
Speaker 1: This talk about toxic masculinity effeminity has to do with

668
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 1: money or has to do with power both.

669
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 3: Do you think that they're always hand in hand?

670
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 2: I believe they are both. I believe money and power

671
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 2: go hand in hand. I really do. Somebody's always got

672
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 2: the upper hand, But sometimes power can be some kind

673
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 2: of just douche lord that has that's pretend power.

674
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not real power.

675
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 1: What is that?

676
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:51,960
Speaker 3: What would that be considered?

677
00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 2: That's like that's considered toxic masculinity or just well, yeah,

678
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 2: you're just losers.

679
00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're just losers.

680
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 2: Do you think fully development exist? I mean that's kind

681
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 2: of a perfection. I'm sure there are people that are

682
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 2: out there. My therapist told me, she's like, you know,

683
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 2: you need to date someone that's been in therapy, that's

684
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 2: actually done some work on themselves, so that you know,

685
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 2: you have a chance of meeting somebody that understands where

686
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 2: you're coming from.

687
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 1: And I think if somebody says they're fully developed, they're not.

688
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 1: They're probably not that great of people, because like I

689
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:26,600
Speaker 1: know that I still have a lot of work to

690
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 1: do on myself in my life.

691
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 2: No one will ever achieve that. Yeah, no one will

692
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 2: ever achieve it.

693
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 3: And if you think that you've achieved it, you most

694
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 3: certainly haven't.

695
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 2: No. No, let's talk about toxic femininity.

696
00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:42,760
Speaker 3: Oooo do we know any of those?

697
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 2: Where do I begin me? I'll tell you that.

698
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:53,360
Speaker 1: Do you have the urge to like tell people like,

699
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 1: these are the things I've done. I did it on

700
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 1: my own, like like there are moments where people.

701
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 2: There's not much shut off. No, I don't think so,

702
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 2: I don't think so.

703
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 3: I think I know, do you I think in relationships

704
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 3: a point?

705
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 1: You know, I think it's interesting because my job, for example,

706
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:14,520
Speaker 1: is to you know, yes, of course I have all in.

707
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,760
Speaker 1: But before all of this happened, I mean, I was

708
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 1: podcasting six days, five days a week, and to the outside,

709
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 1: I would feel the need to be like, well.

710
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I know I'm not leaving my house

711
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:28,920
Speaker 3: and I know I'm in my living room, but this

712
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:29,720
Speaker 3: is a job.

713
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 2: Like I really felt the need to justify it.

714
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 1: I need felt the need to justify it, especially if

715
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 1: somebody's coming and going to an office and do you

716
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 1: think that women or men or anybody gets punished now

717
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:41,720
Speaker 1: for being too bold?

718
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:43,960
Speaker 3: Because I've noticed that a bit now.

719
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 2: You mean you and I?

720
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean we were sure.

721
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do. I think like I've been, I've been

722
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:52,160
Speaker 2: punished for being too bold.

723
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 3: Yes, you have to.

724
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 2: But here's the thing. Do you want to play small

725
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:59,320
Speaker 2: and play weak and be fragile and tears all the

726
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:04,960
Speaker 2: time and manipulate like that? I can't do it. It

727
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:09,080
Speaker 2: makes me frustrated. I can't bap my eyes all the time.

728
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 2: And staying pretty is being something is something that I

729
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 2: do for my job, Like not staying pretty, but staying

730
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:21,520
Speaker 2: say sexy, staying on top of your esthetic so that

731
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 2: you can look as cleaned up as you can for

732
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 2: your age. That being submissive just to pleasing men, you know?

733
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:34,840
Speaker 2: I shit. I always got criticized for being submissive to Tom.

734
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 2: But it really was just a power imbalance. So is

735
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 2: it submissive or is it just controlled?

736
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:41,720
Speaker 3: And would he say I want you to look or

737
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 3: act or dress a certain way?

738
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:43,560
Speaker 1: No?

739
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:45,760
Speaker 2: I think it was more like, this is where we're going,

740
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,800
Speaker 2: and I knew knew, I knew what to do, right,

741
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 2: You knew it that moment? Yeah? You knew, and you

742
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 2: also know, like you can't go to a client dinner

743
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 2: and like have three vodkas and start, you know, acting

744
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:57,760
Speaker 2: like an ass. You know.

745
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 3: I mean, we've all been there and realized afterwards.

746
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 2: That was a mistake, Right, So maybe you do that

747
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 2: once and not again.

748
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, so, because then that become But I think we

749
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 1: all have to like also take ownership for when that

750
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,920
Speaker 1: does happen, when you have too many vodkas and you're

751
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,360
Speaker 1: on that date and you may act in appropriately and

752
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden you want to blame the

753
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 1: other person.

754
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 3: Well I did that because I was frustrated with what

755
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 3: you did on the way to dinner. And Bob, Bob,

756
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:24,239
Speaker 3: do you do that?

757
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 2: I don't. I just say during too much.

758
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 3: And it was my phone. Sometimes I'm really pushing shit

759
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 3: off on it.

760
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 2: Well, sometimes you have to, I guess.

761
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,960
Speaker 1: Do you think women sometimes judge each other through the

762
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:40,240
Speaker 1: same toxic lens?

763
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 3: What question is this? I didn't write it.

764
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:48,400
Speaker 2: You know, the world would be a better place if

765
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 2: women cut women a break, do you know what I mean? Stop?

766
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:56,759
Speaker 2: That's what I hate the most. It's like everybody even

767
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,239
Speaker 2: like if you wanted to like bring it back to

768
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 2: the show everybody's been in a s deep time in

769
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:04,360
Speaker 2: their marriage, Like, calm down, everybody, Well, I would do

770
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 2: it this way, but we're not. It's not you.

771
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:08,640
Speaker 3: And if you did do it this way, then why

772
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:13,040
Speaker 3: are you so upset about it? Because I don't get upset. Yeah,

773
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 3: I don't get upset about.

774
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:17,920
Speaker 1: Things that don't generally somewhat affect me, Like I may

775
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 1: have to for work sake, but I don't.

776
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 2: You may give your opinion, but the bottom line is

777
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:25,360
Speaker 2: what someone else chooses to do in their life is

778
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 2: their life. Yeah, I can say, hey, you know what,

779
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 2: like I don't really think that's the most healthy thing

780
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 2: for you that I'm not gonna lose sleep over it.

781
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:34,880
Speaker 3: It's not like and I'm not.

782
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:39,879
Speaker 2: I'm also not gonna provided it's nothing insane, Right, I'm

783
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 2: not gonna stop being friends with someone because they don't

784
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 2: feel the same way about life that I do. Yeah,

785
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 2: and decided it's not crazy.

786
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 1: Sometimes I think things can also not be talked about,

787
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 1: like if I know it's going to end and freaking chaos,

788
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 1: like in my day to day life, like I have

789
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 1: one friend that's just super on it over this one

790
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:01,920
Speaker 1: freaking topic, and I know if that topic comes up,

791
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's gonna end it Like so I.

792
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:10,359
Speaker 2: Mean towards you or you towards her, neither just in general. Yeah,

793
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:11,839
Speaker 2: I don't want to do yet, Like I don't need

794
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 2: to get into it.

795
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 3: I don't have that, I don't have.

796
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 2: The energy for that, and you especially don't. Yeah, I

797
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,120
Speaker 2: don't let me ask you with this. This is gonna

798
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 2: Is it hard to be both tough and tender as

799
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:21,919
Speaker 2: a woman.

800
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 3: I think that's a good question. I think yes.

801
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:31,520
Speaker 1: But I think for me, I am tough in some

802
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:35,719
Speaker 1: ways and tender in others. But I there are some

803
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 1: situations that I want to be tender and I maybe

804
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 1: don't know how, I don't know how to express that,

805
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:44,160
Speaker 1: so then.

806
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 3: I end up being too tough.

807
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:49,120
Speaker 2: I agree. I think I do the same thing. And

808
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:51,360
Speaker 2: I think it's like I don't know if it's emotional

809
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 2: regulation or learning when to like turn it on and

810
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:58,719
Speaker 2: turn it off. But I think sometimes the tougher I've

811
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 2: had to be, especially the last few years, that the

812
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:05,359
Speaker 2: tenderness just gets overran, you know, and then and then

813
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:10,360
Speaker 2: it's harder to let down that, you know, defense, or

814
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:14,320
Speaker 2: let down that that part of your personality and really

815
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:19,400
Speaker 2: be super soft, because when you.

816
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 3: Do that and then you get let down, it's the worst.

817
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 2: It's the worst.

818
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,400
Speaker 1: It's the worst, and then you carry it around to

819
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 1: every other friendship and relationship you have.

820
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:33,120
Speaker 2: Well, I do m what's healthy masculine energy to you?

821
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:36,400
Speaker 1: I guess for me, I mean I'm old school in

822
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:38,440
Speaker 1: certain ways. Like I want you to open the door

823
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:39,000
Speaker 1: for me too.

824
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 2: I like that.

825
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:42,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I don't mind. I like, I don't want

826
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 3: you to.

827
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:44,759
Speaker 1: Put me down or treat me that I'm less than,

828
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 1: but like I want you to take care I want

829
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 1: you to want to take care of me a little bit.

830
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:51,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think like manners and stuff like that is

831
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:55,520
Speaker 2: really kind. I like that. It shows that you know

832
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,360
Speaker 2: your mother or whomever raised you gave you some you know.

833
00:37:58,680 --> 00:37:58,879
Speaker 3: Yeah.

834
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:01,600
Speaker 1: I mean even last I with Cruise, like I you know,

835
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 1: I wasn't feeling one hundred percent. I'm like, hey, buddy,

836
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 1: can you go grab my pedia light and do this?

837
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 1: And he's like, do you want it in a cup

838
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:10,000
Speaker 1: with ice or no? And I'm like, I think that

839
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:11,680
Speaker 1: is a good tool to have.

840
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:13,759
Speaker 2: Whenever we used to take my son out to dinner

841
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:15,759
Speaker 2: and she was young coming up and obviously it's in

842
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:17,600
Speaker 2: his thirties, but he used to always pull out my chair.

843
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, you have to do this. I kind of forget

844
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 3: about the pulling out that I don't get that often.

845
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean just opening the door or something like that.

846
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 2: It's small, but it goes a long way.

847
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 3: Yeah. Also manners to me goes a long way.

848
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:34,959
Speaker 2: Eats and like food is kind of closing your mouth

849
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 2: when you chew. And that's why I hate eating on

850
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 2: the show.

851
00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:40,879
Speaker 1: Well I know that's why you never order avocado toast.

852
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:42,319
Speaker 1: It's the biggest mistake ever.

853
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:45,680
Speaker 2: I just hate eating the show. And you get hungry

854
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:47,880
Speaker 2: and you want to eat, but it's just like nobody

855
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 2: looks good eating.

856
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:51,879
Speaker 1: And there's certain things like little bites, like if it's

857
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 1: just if it's like a little this, then it's easy

858
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 1: you pop it in.

859
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:56,480
Speaker 3: But like when you have to and then it's in

860
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 3: the tea, it's too much.

861
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:00,719
Speaker 2: I just remember that, like not wanting to so long.

862
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,600
Speaker 2: It's just like nobody wants to be nobody looks good

863
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 2: when they eat on camera.

864
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 3: No, well we didn't look good when we drank on camera?

865
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 2: Were you talking to.

866
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 3: We nailed it?

867
00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I was looking at what was it?

868
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 2: It was like some trip we were on and we

869
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 2: just looked haggard like as a group. I'm not talking

870
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 2: about individually, he looked I just saw this.

871
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 1: It was it was like airing just on Bravo and

872
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:30,799
Speaker 1: I like turned it on and I was like, why

873
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 1: do we look so know where we were? Yes, I know,

874
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 1: I know you were going to say that, well, because

875
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:42,240
Speaker 1: I think that trip we weren't allowed to have glam,

876
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,880
Speaker 1: which I never brought glam, but I would steal others GLAMs.

877
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:47,719
Speaker 2: That's fine, you want to look good on TV.

878
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,719
Speaker 1: Like I think we got the memo we couldn't have

879
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 1: glam there, and so I think we all just looked

880
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:54,040
Speaker 1: like a big bunch.

881
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:55,719
Speaker 3: No I had glammed it.

882
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:57,839
Speaker 2: But I'll tell you this, like there, of course she's

883
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:01,200
Speaker 2: not going anybody, but here's the other not me, here's

884
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:05,239
Speaker 2: the other thing too. Just sometimes where was it? This was?

885
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 2: I think before you joined it was like Mexico and

886
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 2: it was down that Kyle had rented this place. And

887
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:16,279
Speaker 2: when I tell you, I looked like the biggest, sweatiest

888
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 2: humidified mess, just grease all over.

889
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:24,239
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, my favorite memory of

890
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:28,400
Speaker 1: of you, and like a look was when we were

891
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:31,759
Speaker 1: in the Bahamas and we all came down. It was

892
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,640
Speaker 1: our most fun day when we all swam together. But

893
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 1: you had on like one of those like old school

894
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 1: body gloves. And then all of a sudden, we get

895
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:43,000
Speaker 1: down and we go to walk across the like plank.

896
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 3: I walked my heels and you had these big high

897
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 3: heels on and you just went shit shit.

898
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 2: But I walked across and they didn't show it. But

899
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:51,839
Speaker 2: that's okay.

900
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:53,799
Speaker 3: But it was one of my favorite moments. I mean,

901
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:54,360
Speaker 3: while I'm lik in.

902
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:58,360
Speaker 2: Flats well you know, and I had sandals, but I

903
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:00,840
Speaker 2: was like, we already committed to this look, you know,

904
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 2: so which I think sometimes is like who cares? And

905
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:06,400
Speaker 2: then I think, but you do care Erica, But I.

906
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:08,800
Speaker 1: Think that this is something I know, you know, we

907
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 1: can give a little housewives right now. There are some

908
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:14,800
Speaker 1: women that can really pull off doing a look. I

909
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:16,040
Speaker 1: am not one of those women.

910
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 3: But you, because it's not an interest in me, hold on.

911
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:21,680
Speaker 2: But you have your own style. This is what I

912
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,759
Speaker 2: always say. Everyone has their own style. And that's why

913
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 2: people like different characters is because people resonate with different things.

914
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:34,520
Speaker 2: Nobody has. It's not a group of clones. It's a

915
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:38,120
Speaker 2: group of people, you know, identify with different women on

916
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 2: different things.

917
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,920
Speaker 1: Right, But I don't love watching a housewife that comes

918
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,040
Speaker 1: and tries to be in Erica Jane or be a

919
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 1: Dreek like then.

920
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:49,400
Speaker 2: It doesn't well, it just feels inauthentic and authentically like.

921
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:52,320
Speaker 1: Yes, there are moments that I tried to experiment with

922
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 1: red lipstick that I really regretted.

923
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:55,360
Speaker 2: Do you really I do?

924
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:58,320
Speaker 1: Because I remember I didn't know that you weren't supposed

925
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,160
Speaker 1: to put gloss gloss overad and then all of a

926
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:05,160
Speaker 1: sudden we were like started filling, starts to slide. Yeah.

927
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 2: But yeah, but you know what, though, you got you

928
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:12,320
Speaker 2: got your act together.

929
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 3: Well, hold on, we got to move back.

930
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:21,400
Speaker 1: This reminds me of toxic masculinity, your situation with Denise Richards.

931
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, tell me about it.

932
00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:26,239
Speaker 3: So what was the husband's name, Aaron that fought with us?

933
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 1: He was one that I think had a little bit

934
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:32,280
Speaker 1: of toxic masculinity. We kind of both got into an argument.

935
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 1: I'm sure you let bygones be by gones.

936
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:38,279
Speaker 2: We it was words. Yeah, I feel like the thing is,

937
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 2: I don't like it when the men get mixed up

938
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 2: in that.

939
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 3: Yeah. So that's kind of what it was.

940
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 1: But the other day I was dying laughing because somebody

941
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 1: came up to me and they're like, have you tried

942
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:52,480
Speaker 1: Eastern medicine? And I'm like, I haven't yet. I'm gonna

943
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 1: wait till you get and they're like, well, there's this guy.

944
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 2: Away and it was Denise's husband.

945
00:42:57,120 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 1: It was Denise's husband, but they said, you have to

946
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:02,720
Speaker 1: pay a ton of money up front, blah blah blah.

947
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 3: And I was like, well, I'm definitely not.

948
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he's not.

949
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:10,000
Speaker 1: But then I was reminded of you being on the

950
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:14,919
Speaker 1: show that I just watched, and this is the one

951
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:16,960
Speaker 1: thing that I want to talk about in regards to Denise.

952
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:18,400
Speaker 1: And then we'll move on and we'll be done, and

953
00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:20,319
Speaker 1: then next week we'll talk about something else, and then

954
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 1: I'll get sidetracked, because that's what people with seven tumors do,

955
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 1: is that seven god tumor time.

956
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:31,480
Speaker 3: Eric is like, when I signed on to do this pod,

957
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:32,719
Speaker 3: you didn't have any tumors.

958
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 2: We didn't know you did, but we found out and

959
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 2: we're making we're rolling right through it, so fuck theseus,

960
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:42,160
Speaker 2: fuck these tumors.

961
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 3: We get a little sidetracked, But how upset she.

962
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,440
Speaker 1: Got over the threesome conversation, and then I watched how

963
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:51,840
Speaker 1: she was on the show with her kids, and I

964
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:52,880
Speaker 1: almost ship myself.

965
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 2: I know, but this is something that we knew.

966
00:43:56,120 --> 00:43:58,600
Speaker 3: Well I know we knew, but now everybody knows, and

967
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:00,239
Speaker 3: nobody's given us the credit.

968
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:01,440
Speaker 2: It We're never going to get it.

969
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 3: I want some talks with positivity about Teddy.

970
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 2: Was right listen last week. I'm always right, whether it's today, tomorrow,

971
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:13,120
Speaker 2: or five years and you were to yeah, and you

972
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 2: know it. Sometimes it's the truth, like something.

973
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:16,279
Speaker 1: You know.

974
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:18,560
Speaker 2: I think people that watch the show, it's like, yeah,

975
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:21,360
Speaker 2: we said this, Yeah, there was a reason we felt this.

976
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:23,320
Speaker 2: There's a reason we felt this way. It wasn't just

977
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:24,400
Speaker 2: coming out of nowhere.

978
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 3: Yeah.

979
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:27,920
Speaker 1: But you know, well in the show was saying Teddy

980
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,920
Speaker 1: and Erica are always right ish at some point ish

981
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:31,680
Speaker 1: right there.

982
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:35,319
Speaker 2: Listen, there's always going to be a moment week ago.

983
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 2: They did call that out. Yeah, they did call that out.

984
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:40,000
Speaker 3: But only one person's going to remember, and they're not

985
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 3: the person that's going to write it everywhere.

986
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:43,800
Speaker 2: And that's only going to be you and me have

987
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:46,360
Speaker 2: to go on here to remind everybody remember when we

988
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:50,360
Speaker 2: telled you remember remember back in twenty seventeen.

989
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I can't remember what day it is, but

990
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 1: I do remember what happened in twenty.

991
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:59,400
Speaker 2: Sixteen because it gets at the port of John. You know,

992
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 2: I happen to be, because it gets burned into your

993
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 2: fucking memory because you're so mad about it. I know,

994
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:06,520
Speaker 2: but I've gotten so mad at shit.

995
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:07,160
Speaker 4: That I knew.

996
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 3: I was like, but you knew what's coming.

997
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 2: It is not what happened, I know, But either way,

998
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 2: who cares.

999
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 3: We're not We're a peaked in our growing or study.

1000
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:24,400
Speaker 2: Stay toxic, Stay toxic, guys, stay toxic, everybody, just stay toxic.

1001
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 2: Working for us. I do have a friend and I

1002
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:33,799
Speaker 2: always text him, stay toxic with the little sparkles.

1003
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 3: Oh, toxic with a sparkle. That's smart.

1004
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:39,440
Speaker 1: Well, thanks guys for tuning in for another episode. Let

1005
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:41,839
Speaker 1: us know what you want us to talk about next week.

1006
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 3: You guys keep saying sex. We can't always talk about

1007
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:46,279
Speaker 3: sech I mean.

1008
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:48,200
Speaker 2: I mean we can, but the bottom line is there's

1009
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:49,840
Speaker 2: only so much and then you know it's kind of

1010
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:52,239
Speaker 2: boring unless you guys are gonna come in here and

1011
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 2: tell us, Yeah, unless.

1012
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:56,000
Speaker 3: You're gonna oh, maybe we should. I feel like we're

1013
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 3: due for a Q and A.

1014
00:45:57,640 --> 00:45:59,840
Speaker 2: I like a Q and all we.

1015
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,359
Speaker 3: Get a Q and A listen, since we're always right.

1016
00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:05,600
Speaker 1: Let's switch it from a Q and A to advice

1017
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 1: to advice instead of like, what, dear, what is it?

1018
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 2: Dear John, dear Abby, it's not. Dear diamonds, dear dear

1019
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 2: rough diamonds, rough dimonds.

1020
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:18,560
Speaker 3: Don't we stay toxic?

1021
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:20,600
Speaker 2: Stay toxic?

1022
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:24,319
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that should be next week. Sounds fun.

1023
00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 2: Thanks guys, thank you so much.

1024
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:27,239
Speaker 3: Bye bye,