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Speaker 1: Text you will heal then textual. You know a lot

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Speaker 1: of health insurance providers will cover you for basic stuff

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Speaker 1: check up, vaccinations, over the counter meds. We're the only

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Speaker 1: ones who cover you for under the table textual healing,

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Speaker 1: where we can help you craft the perfect text to

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Speaker 1: somebody when you don't know exactly what to write to.

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Speaker 2: Them, playing foot sea is at the.

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Speaker 1: Same time, or just whatever it takes, brok. We want

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Speaker 1: to help, and we have a patient on the line

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Speaker 1: ready for our gentle latex gloved hands to heal her

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Speaker 1: textually wearing gloves. Yeah, Mary, welcome to the o R.

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Speaker 1: How you doing.

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Speaker 3: I'm doing okay. I wouldn't be calling me if I

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Speaker 3: was doing perfect?

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Speaker 1: Fair point. So tell us what made you reach out

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Speaker 1: to the show and how we can help heal you textually.

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Speaker 3: Well, I need help with the text Getting invited to

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Speaker 3: a party? Now?

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Speaker 2: Wait, you want to be invited or you don't?

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Speaker 3: I want to be invited to this party?

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Speaker 1: Do you send a lot of text to people being like, hey,

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Speaker 1: don't invite me to your party.

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Speaker 2: You need to like get out of it, you know,

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Speaker 2: like you need a good excuse? Yeah, are you kidding me?

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Speaker 2: Don't you see?

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Speaker 1: Like a party. Yeah, kid, listen, I'll just say this

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Speaker 1: I know before you even ye. All right, So okay,

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Speaker 1: tell us about this party.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So it's a friends giving.

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Speaker 2: Oh sad you weren't invited to your friend group friends giving?

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Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, I don't really know the people

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Speaker 3: at all. Like I met the guy like once for

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Speaker 3: like thirty seconds at a Fourth of July party. But

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Speaker 3: the reason why I want to go is there is

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Speaker 3: this really cute guy named Bashi. Bashi, yeah, my dreamy

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Speaker 3: name or whatever.

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Speaker 4: Okay, So he lives in the same apartment complex as you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like, I've seen him around, but we've never really talked.

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Speaker 2: So interesting that you know his name? Give me yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And how do you even know him if you've

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Speaker 1: never really spoken before?

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Speaker 3: Well, I don't. I don't know him.

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Speaker 2: I want to know him better, I see.

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Speaker 1: Okay, how did you even get his name? Well?

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Speaker 3: I got this weird box that showed up with Bashi,

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Speaker 3: but it had my address.

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Speaker 4: So you had to track him down because they delivered

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Speaker 4: it to the wrong apartment.

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Speaker 2: Is that what you're saying.

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Speaker 3: I put a note up in the sort of lobby

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Speaker 3: of the apartment complex, and I'm like, Bashian here's my number.

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Speaker 3: I got a package for you.

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Speaker 2: Okay. And so at this point, you have no idea

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Speaker 2: who this guy is.

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Speaker 3: Right, I don't have any idea.

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Speaker 1: Okay, you just know he has a package that has

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Speaker 1: a lot of lotion in it for some reason, but

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Speaker 1: you want to return.

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Speaker 3: It to me.

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Speaker 4: So wait, what happens when you open the door and

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Speaker 4: Hotty's standing there?

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Speaker 3: I was like, is that Andrew Garfield? But like a

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Speaker 3: little bit more jacked I would say, oh.

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Speaker 1: Jack, fun to imagine. All right, Okay, as you know

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Speaker 1: who Andrew Garfield.

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Speaker 2: Is, He's cute, he needs jacked.

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Speaker 4: Up though, yea spider man is always skinny, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, And what happens in that conversation?

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Speaker 3: So it's just an invitenment and we're just kind of

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Speaker 3: talking and sort of exchanging you know, how long have

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Speaker 3: you lived here?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 3: I lived here? And then he asked me if I

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Speaker 3: was going to the friends giving that doughnuts are throwing?

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Speaker 3: Are you going to go to it?

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Speaker 2: Okay? And so jonas you know him, I.

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Speaker 3: Wouldn't say I know him, Like we met at the

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Speaker 3: Fourth of July party and like exchanged numbers.

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Speaker 2: But okay, all.

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Speaker 3: Right, so you connection though yeah, he is the perfect connection.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

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Speaker 4: So we're gonna be talking to Jonahs to try to

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Speaker 4: get you an invite so that you can hang out

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Speaker 4: and get bashed in to fall in love with you. Y.

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Speaker 1: So how do we get Jonas to agree to invite her?

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Speaker 6: I mean, I toted a friends giving and if you're

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Speaker 6: going to bring a dish I can't make you're automatically.

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Speaker 6: We didn't have an apple pie, and I would have

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Speaker 6: killed her.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't let any neighbor bring an apple pie. That's

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Speaker 2: not bad? Can you make anything?

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Speaker 1: Are you gonna cook?

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Speaker 3: Oh? I am a phenomenal baker.

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Speaker 1: But before we even get to like what she's bringing

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Speaker 1: to the party, she hasn't even been invited yet.

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Speaker 4: Okay, and she's never even testified.

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Speaker 2: Have you ever texted Jonahs before?

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Speaker 3: You know what I did? Because he said text me

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Speaker 3: your number. I know I did do that, like, hey,

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Speaker 3: this is my number. That's nothing like after that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: See, my first instinct in the situation suation is go

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Speaker 1: full pity party.

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Speaker 2: What I.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't have anybody to spend Thanksgiving with this year?

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Speaker 1: All my family is dead or in jail. But I

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Speaker 1: spend time with you.

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Speaker 2: You want to lead with the Indian.

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Speaker 6: I'm going to tell the whole party like, I have

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Speaker 6: this sad neighbor and.

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Speaker 1: Her she just needs to get into the door, and

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Speaker 1: then we want to realize how great and fun she is.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I was.

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Speaker 6: Thinking you maybe pretend to host something. And then he's like,

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Speaker 6: I already am you know?

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Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, I had a friends giving.

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Speaker 2: I had to. Really, she's in the mindset.

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Speaker 1: To help me. Are any of these ideas jumping out

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Speaker 1: to you?

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Speaker 3: Mary? I don't know if I want to lie and

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Speaker 3: say that I was having a party, because then that

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Speaker 3: might be kind of fel like I'm going to throw

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Speaker 3: my friends out just go to your party. Yes, but

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Speaker 3: I think I think I'm just going to go straight

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Speaker 3: away with it. And you know, when I test him,

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Speaker 3: because I don't know if you.

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Speaker 5: Did save my number, reintroduce yourself, yeah, and then I

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Speaker 5: would just say Bashan mentioned you were throwing a friends

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Speaker 5: giving and my plans just got canceled.

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Speaker 2: Do you mind if I come?

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Speaker 1: Oh, that's all, and let's just start with you reintroducing yourself.

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Speaker 1: It's Mary from the Fourth of July party. Remember me, Hey,

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Speaker 1: I like holidays. Holidays, sneaky. I like this slide it

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Speaker 1: in there?

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Speaker 3: Should I say? I just heard of it? But not

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Speaker 3: who from?

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Speaker 2: Just introduce you?

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Speaker 1: Introduce yourself first.

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Speaker 6: If this doesn't work, remember start making a pie and

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Speaker 6: all the neighbors will come talking to see who is.

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Speaker 1: Let him smell it.

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Speaker 3: You're writing it, Mary, Yeah, I just type it out.

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Speaker 4: Mary, Just type out your name, say hello, remind him.

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Speaker 2: Where you met.

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Speaker 3: Okay, and then just see if he invites me. But

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Speaker 3: if he doesn't.

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Speaker 1: Respond, here will follow up.

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Speaker 2: There's a whole We're probably not inviting you in the.

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Speaker 1: Next You sound like my mom. You want to get

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Speaker 1: everything done in one giant paragraph. I know, yes, one

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Speaker 1: piece at a time, just like Thanksgiving dinner. Okay, I do.

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Speaker 2: Eat it all together.

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Speaker 1: I can you have a masowl?

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Speaker 2: That's what's so great about the dinner.

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Speaker 1: Let's hit send. Let's hit send on the message.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Hey it's Mary. We met as a Fourth of

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Speaker 3: July party.

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Speaker 1: That's smiley.

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Speaker 2: Maybe how are you.

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Speaker 1: It shouldn't be nice because then they have to text

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Speaker 1: back or remember me or you remember me, so that

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Speaker 1: something that he'll reply to.

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Speaker 3: All right, got it.

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Speaker 1: And sent?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, we sent you one sentence.

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Speaker 1: Come tune in next week. Finished. I'm just kidding, Mary,

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Speaker 1: we're making good progress. We're gonna come back to see

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Speaker 1: when you get you invited to your apartment's friends giving dinner.

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Speaker 1: I keep this positive momentum going with more textual healing

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Speaker 1: right after this. How do you get yourself invited to

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Speaker 1: a friend's giving that you don't technically have any friend

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Speaker 1: friends at. That's what our listener Mary is hoping to

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Speaker 1: do today with textual healing because she just met a

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Speaker 1: very cute guy in her apartment complex named Bastion. Found

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Speaker 1: out he's going to be at this friends giving event

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Speaker 1: in their building and wants to figure out how to

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Speaker 1: get herself invited to it.

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Speaker 2: She kind of knows met once the guy who's throwing it.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so we have been texting that guy who's hosting it,

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Speaker 1: and we started off real strong with hey, I'm Mary,

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Speaker 1: remember me from fourth of July. It took a while

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Speaker 1: to get there, but we did it. Sent that text,

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Speaker 1: and now we're wondering, Mary, has the host responded to

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Speaker 1: your text? Uh?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you did?

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Speaker 2: Okay, that sounds positive, right?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? I mean right away he was like, hey Mary,

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Speaker 3: So he saved my name and he's like, what's up.

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Speaker 1: Either way? So now we we have officially opened up

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Speaker 1: the door to start to get an invite here right now,

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Speaker 1: brook idea?

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Speaker 2: Right, And I think here is where you bring up bastion.

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Speaker 4: Okay, just that you heard from Bashian that he's throwing

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Speaker 4: a friends giving party.

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Speaker 1: So he already knows, Like, I don't know if we

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Speaker 1: do it Brooks style and barge in and try and

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Speaker 1: invite ourself a style, because if you use a Lexus's

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Speaker 1: idea from earlier and say I just made an apple

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Speaker 1: pie and I definitely can't eat all of this. I

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Speaker 1: mean I totally would eat all of it, but I

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Speaker 1: was wondering if you would like to try some because

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Speaker 1: I like to bake pies for the holidays.

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Speaker 2: You're going to be so you're just passive aggressively hoping.

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Speaker 4: That he takes your half eaten pie.

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Speaker 2: Is what it sounds like, that he gets addicted to I.

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Speaker 3: Am a good vicker, and I think that's something I

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Speaker 3: can you.

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Speaker 1: Okay, her goal is to get invited to the party,

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Speaker 1: not to invite herself to it. Yeah, that's true.

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Speaker 2: That's true.

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Speaker 1: So if we like to do a little hitt like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm really good at pies. You could taste some. Maybe

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Speaker 1: that way he'll be like, oh you should do this,

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Speaker 1: or specific like I.

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Speaker 4: Have a pie.

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Speaker 1: It's big, it's perfect for parties, especially this time people.

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Speaker 3: It's a real crowdly, is it weird if I just say, hey,

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Speaker 3: holidays are coming up. I make pies. I sell some

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Speaker 3: to friends.

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Speaker 2: Don't sell selling. Don't sell. You're not making this into

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Speaker 2: a business, girl.

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Speaker 3: I'm not saying so, just like, could I bring one?

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Speaker 1: Bye? Yeah? I think you you can do that. Like

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Speaker 1: I like to make stuff for the holidays. I have

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Speaker 1: this great apple pie.

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Speaker 2: I have an extra one.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I have an extra apple pie.

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Speaker 2: I went crazy baking.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I love the holidays. I love baking. I made

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Speaker 3: a lot. Would you like to taste my apple pie?

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Speaker 1: Right? Like it so much?

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Speaker 4: The word taste the idea.

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Speaker 1: But I think you're onto the right track there, Mary,

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Speaker 1: Why don't you start typing that I'm a crazy baker.

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Speaker 5: Want to taste it?

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Speaker 3: I'm not saying try.

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Speaker 1: I was writing tastes and I was like, no, some

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Speaker 1: my famous apple pie.

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Speaker 2: I was not going to think we're hitting on him,

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Speaker 2: or is he That's.

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Speaker 1: Not necessarily even a bad thing. So let's send that okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: okay send. Now if you got.

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Speaker 4: That text, would you guys then automatically go Because here's

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Speaker 4: the thing. I don't know if men always make the

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Speaker 4: connection between apple Pie and I should invite her to

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Speaker 4: the friends giving, I would be like, I'm.

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Speaker 1: Diabetic, I can't eat that. You have a wonderful evening.

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Speaker 1: And by the way, the time that she met him

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Speaker 1: in July to now in November, that's a long time.

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Speaker 1: We need to try and create as big of an

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Speaker 1: impression on this guy as we can. So maybe we

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Speaker 1: do need to be a little bit flirtatious.

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Speaker 4: Oh you say you lean in use him a little

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Speaker 4: bit to get to bashtion toy with this man's emotions.

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Speaker 1: I know that you support that idea, she laughed.

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Speaker 2: Did you get a response.

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Speaker 5: He typed back, I remember it's past that the dots

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Speaker 5: are done, but I wrote it down between the breaks.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate the enthusiasm. What did he say?

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Speaker 3: It said, I am allergic to three Apple emojis and

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Speaker 3: then a needle.

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Speaker 1: Oh he's allergic to apples.

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Speaker 3: Wait wait, wait, he's dotting dots.

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Speaker 2: Dots stop, stop, stop, dot.

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Speaker 1: We go five times.

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Speaker 2: That was good.

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Speaker 1: What did he say?

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Speaker 3: He said, but I'm all about emoji pie life. If

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Speaker 3: you ever want to drop by and make a pumpkin pie,

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Speaker 3: you can bring the whipped cream smiley emoji.

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Speaker 1: Okay, the whipped cream? Am I reading?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like we're getting into dangerous territory, like we

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Speaker 1: wanted to only because I'm a.

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Speaker 3: Dude and I get like Brooke has said, like we

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Speaker 3: always miss recently.

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Speaker 2: What does that mean?

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Speaker 1: So clearly he's receptive though to your pie, So let's

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Speaker 1: try and like get over there.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like he's gonna want her alone.

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Speaker 1: With the pie, okay exactly, So maybe we try and

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Speaker 1: get the invite. Now, where do you mean?

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Speaker 3: Mary?

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Speaker 1: Do you know what day the friends giving dinner is?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Actually it's Tuesday.

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Speaker 2: That's right. You need to write back and say I'm

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Speaker 2: free on Tuesday. I'll bring one.

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Speaker 1: By exactly how you're invited to the party.

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Speaker 3: Don't don't mention no, you are there for him. I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna I could bring it by Tuesday to say no.

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Speaker 4: I could say I'm gonna bring it by Tuesday, free

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Speaker 4: on Tuesday.

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Speaker 6: Do I feel like a man would cancel friends giving

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Speaker 6: to have a girl come up over?

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Speaker 1: Chilling? I thought I was getting some for the first time.

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Speaker 2: We're going Wednesday.

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Speaker 1: At this point.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so I'm gonna say.

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Speaker 2: I'll bring it by on Tuesday.

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Speaker 1: I'm free on Tuesday. I can bring it then.

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Speaker 3: Okay, got it.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's good.

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Speaker 1: Let's see if he responds. I mean, now, what else

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Speaker 1: can he say?

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Speaker 2: He could say? He could honestly say I'm busy Tuesday

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Speaker 2: won't work.

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Speaker 1: I mean, look, you're you're bringing him a bunch of

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Speaker 1: pies on the day of his friends giving dinner. How

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Speaker 1: would he ever say no and want to cancel the

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Speaker 1: big event?

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Speaker 4: I mean, honestly, what he should be doing is just

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Speaker 4: sending you the U r L for whatever the invite was.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean to.

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Speaker 1: I have a bad feeling of Lexis is right, and

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Speaker 1: he may actually clear some time. She can always back

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Speaker 1: out of like going inside his place.

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Speaker 6: He doesn't hear people just turn around from the door.

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Speaker 2: Do we know if these guys are single?

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Speaker 3: I know he was single when I met him on

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Speaker 3: the fourth of July, But ok so I don't know.

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Speaker 6: But if you're at the dinner, you'll find out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah you will.

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Speaker 3: Okay, here here it is He's.

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Speaker 2: Why is that good laugh.

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Speaker 3: He's like, I have a bunch of people over on Tuesday.

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Speaker 3: If you could drop them at the front door, that

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Speaker 3: would be great.

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Speaker 2: Okay, No, I don't think that's bad. Listen, listen. No,

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Speaker 2: you wear your sexiest outfit. Okay, it looks so good.

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Speaker 2: You knock on that door and then you just say, oh,

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Speaker 2: I need to bring him in.

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Speaker 1: You just stay, Yeah, you just don't leave, maybe not

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Speaker 1: even out and maybe just a bath towel. It's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I didn't know people were going to be here. It

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Speaker 1: was just gonna be us. Oh my god, this poor woman,

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Speaker 1: let's get her clothes on her. The point is that we're

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Speaker 1: running out of time here, Mary. But we got you

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Speaker 1: to the front door, ye did we do?

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Speaker 2: Just be the weird neighbor who doesn't get the social cue.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna have to get yourself through the door and

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Speaker 1: into that party on your own, but we got you there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I guess I can be the weird neighbor.

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Speaker 2: I know you had it in you. Mary.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna be a happy friends giving for you. Okay,

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Speaker 1: make sure to text us pictures us.

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Speaker 4: I can't wait till she gives the toast at the

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Speaker 1: It's brooking Jeffrey in the morning,