WEBVTT - Living Tinted featuring Deepica Mutyala

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<v Speaker 1>It's to me, there was no rules. You came out

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<v Speaker 1>of the blue, barding myself from mornings. Grasses, dumb, dumb

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<v Speaker 1>with mornings never hit you look so cute esmen's suggesting

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<v Speaker 1>me the stars, something.

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<v Speaker 2>New, Welcome back, guys, good mom's bad choices. I'm Erica

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm Mila, and we have a really special guest today.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm really excited to have her, my friend Deepaka. Yeah

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<v Speaker 2>that was really good. I knew it. I'm like so

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<v Speaker 2>honored to be here when I'm not like a mom.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, we have a lot of non mom guests.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh really, yeah, we have like dad and not dad

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<v Speaker 2>male guests. I mean we had like three moms, no,

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<v Speaker 2>three people with children in general, so you're not the first.

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<v Speaker 2>And a lot of our listeners aren't moms. Okay cool, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>just regular thanks, regular peeps. But yeah, I'm so happy

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<v Speaker 2>you're here. Deepica, is I have admired you for a

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<v Speaker 2>long time? Think No, honestly, I mean she's my friend

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<v Speaker 2>and she's worked with our brand before. Yeah, but Deepica

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<v Speaker 2>is like a serious business woman and a hustler, and

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<v Speaker 2>she's young and she's like killing it and just when

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<v Speaker 2>you want something, you go after it, and that's she'll

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<v Speaker 2>have more friends like her. Thank you, I mean, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>but it's vice versa, right, Like, I mean, it's one

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<v Speaker 2>of those things that I feel like you try to

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<v Speaker 2>keep company around you of people that like bring out

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<v Speaker 2>the best to you. Absolutely, that's like our whole motto. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>the company you keep. And I's obsessed with your daughter

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<v Speaker 2>and mom. I mean, it's the whole family. If you're

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<v Speaker 2>not familiar with Deep because though she you know, she's

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<v Speaker 2>an influencer. She has a brand called Tinted, which is amazing.

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<v Speaker 2>It kind of caters to brown women and women all

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<v Speaker 2>in between that are basically not being They don't really

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<v Speaker 2>get the prison barn and represent representation and beauty and

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<v Speaker 2>just in the world in general. But I think pretty

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<v Speaker 2>much beauty. Yeah, it's the focus of the conversation is

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<v Speaker 2>beauty because I don't think people, to me, at least

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<v Speaker 2>in the Internet world right now, beauty is portrayed in

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<v Speaker 2>one very specific way, and it's so much deeper. It's

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<v Speaker 2>so much deeper than what you see at the surface level.

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<v Speaker 2>And what I'm realizing is we keep calling it tinted

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<v Speaker 2>across cultural beauty platform because we're recognizing, like the commonalities

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<v Speaker 2>we have across different cultures to talk about those things,

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<v Speaker 2>and actually we just did that earlier, you know, and

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<v Speaker 2>it's like, I probably have lipstick over my teeth, but wow,

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<v Speaker 2>that's good over But the idea of appropriating and appreciating

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<v Speaker 2>those conversations, we're having real, honest, raw convos about that

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<v Speaker 2>and people are learning. When we started, it was just

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<v Speaker 2>gonna be, to be honest, like a South Asian platform,

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<v Speaker 2>because to me, it was like within women of color

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<v Speaker 2>and minority representation and beauty, I saw black and I

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<v Speaker 2>saw Latina, and I didn't see myself, and that obviously

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<v Speaker 2>it was like a step forward, but it bothered me

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<v Speaker 2>that I didn't see myself. But as we started posting

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<v Speaker 2>people on the page that were South Asian, other cultures

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<v Speaker 2>would chime in and be like, I have facial hair

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<v Speaker 2>issues too, I have hyper pigmentation too, and it's like, wow,

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<v Speaker 2>you know what, there's actually more commonalities between it than

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<v Speaker 2>we realize. So it's pretty dope because honestly, I'm learning

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<v Speaker 2>as we go, and I think each time we post,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm learning more and more. Wow, Like there really is

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<v Speaker 2>things that connect us that nobody's really talking about. Because

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<v Speaker 2>we're so busy discussing our own individual cultural like beauty concerns. Right,

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<v Speaker 2>it's interesting anyways, it's been like so fulfilling. Yeah, I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>it's what you're doing is amazing. I love your tanst

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<v Speaker 2>series of honored to have been at to say, you

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<v Speaker 2>gotta watch her. I'm honored to have been a part

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<v Speaker 2>of it. But your story is dope. And I think

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<v Speaker 2>that's the thing, is like the idea of you to

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<v Speaker 2>know is like we need to be talking about the

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<v Speaker 2>stories that no one else is telling, which is what

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like you guys are doing on this too. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I think a lot of times women and I think

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of times moms feel alone. They don't feel like,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, they can be women anymore. They feel like

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<v Speaker 2>they have to stop having the conversations they had before

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<v Speaker 2>having children, or maybe they never even have those conversations

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<v Speaker 2>to begin with. And you know that a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>people that reach out to us are like, oh my god,

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<v Speaker 2>like that happened to me, or I'm so glad that

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<v Speaker 2>you feel that way. I thought I was the only

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<v Speaker 2>one that wanted to kick my child in the head,

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<v Speaker 2>like I'm that crazy. I thought, Well, I don't get

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<v Speaker 2>how you do it, because I love being like the

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<v Speaker 2>auntie who like comes in and like gets to hang

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<v Speaker 2>with the Yeah, pulls up on sugar and then you're like, hey,

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<v Speaker 2>I get hugs and cuddles and I bounce. Yeah. The

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<v Speaker 2>not this tough stuff. The twenty four to seven is

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<v Speaker 2>it gets pretty intense. Yeah, I think moms are super women.

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<v Speaker 2>Like it does it. It blows my mind. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>understand how you do it all. It's like once you

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<v Speaker 2>have become a mom, like there's no return. You can't

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<v Speaker 2>you can't take it back, you know, like, oh, here's

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<v Speaker 2>the proceed I'm good.

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<v Speaker 3>It didn't work out for me. It's very fucking permanent.

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<v Speaker 3>So you know, I'm thinking this is going right into it.

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<v Speaker 2>But I've been talking about freezing my eggs and I

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<v Speaker 2>tried to talk about it with why you're so young,

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<v Speaker 2>but because I know it's I know my life right

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<v Speaker 2>now and starting tinted and like I'm not going on dates,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not meeting dudes, like it's not happening anytime soon.

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<v Speaker 2>And I have friends who are in their mid thirties

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<v Speaker 2>that are like, just do it now because they're they're

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<v Speaker 2>regretting not doing it. My best friend.

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<v Speaker 3>Can you not freeze your eggs past a certain age? No,

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<v Speaker 3>I think it's just that they're prime right now. So

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<v Speaker 3>like if she called me twa, I, oh girl, I

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<v Speaker 3>mean no, my my thirty year old friend is like

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<v Speaker 3>she's talking to anyone. She's like, I think I'm gon

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<v Speaker 3>phrase my eggs. I'm not telling me to do it,

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<v Speaker 3>and I'm like.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's because I probably don't.

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<v Speaker 3>That's my friend, that's that's my that's me interpreting how

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<v Speaker 3>my friend talks. Like and then yeah, all my workers

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<v Speaker 3>are telling me it's the time my eggs a prime

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<v Speaker 3>right now. I'm not even dating anybody, and I think

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<v Speaker 3>you're so fucking young, you're crazy. But it's also we

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<v Speaker 3>live in LA. Everybody's doing it and body's fly's nice.

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<v Speaker 2>But it's okay. This is how I think about it.

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<v Speaker 2>And now I'm gonna sound like a friend, but it

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<v Speaker 2>feels like an insurance policy of like the last thing

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<v Speaker 2>I would want is to not be able to have children.

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<v Speaker 2>And that's why I said, like, you may.

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<v Speaker 3>Have issues and you don't even want to You don't

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<v Speaker 3>even want to encounter those issues and have any issues

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<v Speaker 3>that I see.

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<v Speaker 2>How sad my girlfriends are right now trying and they're like,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm telling you, just do it. It's like a very

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<v Speaker 2>small cost and the larger scale of life to not

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<v Speaker 2>just do it if you truly know you want to

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<v Speaker 2>have kids.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, this is like I wanted to talk about

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<v Speaker 3>this on a different episode, but I'm happy here because

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<v Speaker 3>this is a thing Like, obviously me and Erica have kids,

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<v Speaker 3>but my best friend we grew up together, are the

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<v Speaker 3>best friend. But we me and her and both have

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<v Speaker 3>kids and one doesn't. So I constantly see online like

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<v Speaker 3>when she's posting our kids, like when's your turn?

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<v Speaker 2>When are you going to have a baby? Oh? Who

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<v Speaker 2>you know?

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<v Speaker 3>And I think it's so disrespectful because I know women

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<v Speaker 3>who can't have kids.

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<v Speaker 2>I know women who are trying, and people don't know what.

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<v Speaker 3>If a if people want to fucking have kids, right,

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<v Speaker 3>it's not this mandatory thing you have over rage you

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<v Speaker 3>must give birth, yeah, and be like after like twenty seven,

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<v Speaker 3>you're not supposed to just fucking shoot out kids. It's

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<v Speaker 3>not how like that. Everyone's not on the same schedule. So, like,

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<v Speaker 3>do you feel like a lot of pressure and from

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<v Speaker 3>your culture, your community. I know you're a huge in

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<v Speaker 3>like your social social media and stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, yeah, I mean on all of those layers. I

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<v Speaker 2>grew up in Texas, so everyone I know has like

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<v Speaker 2>three children and like is yeah, like got married right

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<v Speaker 2>out of college and linked it that way. But then

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<v Speaker 2>being Indian, that's the next layer of it where my

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<v Speaker 2>parents like since birth were like trying to figure out

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<v Speaker 2>who from the same village we grew up in I

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<v Speaker 2>was going to.

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<v Speaker 3>End up with.

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<v Speaker 2>And the ironic part is I ended up dating a

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<v Speaker 2>dude that like organically because I think I wanted that

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<v Speaker 2>so bad because you knew that because I wished without

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<v Speaker 2>even realizing it trained to thinking like that's what I wanted.

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<v Speaker 2>And so between those two things, layers were like for

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<v Speaker 2>sure there, but I am at the point now I

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<v Speaker 2>will not ask a woman that because you never know. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>it's so rude. It's so rude. Yeah, and I don't think.

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<v Speaker 3>People mean to do it that way, but yeah, but

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<v Speaker 3>it does show like how backwards our society is. And

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<v Speaker 3>there's so many things that need to change, even just

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<v Speaker 3>in general conversation, right, Like women are not fucking machines, right,

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<v Speaker 3>and come twenty ninth birthday, you're not supposed to be impregnated.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, you're not supposed to just have a husband.

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<v Speaker 3>It doesn't work that way.

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<v Speaker 2>So yeah, but when I think about a husband versus kids,

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<v Speaker 2>I get so much more excited thinking about having a

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<v Speaker 2>daughter than a man, which is like but that, but

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<v Speaker 2>that's also like annoying and stupid too, right, It's like

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to try to sit here and pretend

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<v Speaker 2>like I don't want to ever. I mean, we've talked

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<v Speaker 2>about this before. It's like, I that would be a

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<v Speaker 2>lie to pretend and say like I don't. It's not

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<v Speaker 2>that I need one, but it would. I would like

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<v Speaker 2>to have one, right right right? And you will? You will? Yeah? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Do your are your parents in your ass right now?

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<v Speaker 2>About it? So it's weird because my mom is like

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<v Speaker 2>the one who sets up every Indian girl in town.

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<v Speaker 2>But oh she is so the matchmaker. She has like

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<v Speaker 2>three successful weddings. Wow yeah, but also so do I.

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<v Speaker 2>I've introduced three people that I got married, but I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not myself and she doesn't pressure me. But my sister

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<v Speaker 2>just got married this year. I was like a thousand people,

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<v Speaker 2>beautiful wedding, fifteen days long, like it was. It was

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<v Speaker 2>a true like Hindu ceremony wedding. Yeah, girl, we do

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<v Speaker 2>have amazing weddings, like saying it's such a cool celebration,

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<v Speaker 2>but yeah, it just happened this year, so she's not

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<v Speaker 2>fully on it. But the other Oh my god. Last

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<v Speaker 2>time I saw her, she came and gave me the

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<v Speaker 2>biggest hug and she was like, I'm just so worried

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<v Speaker 2>about you. And I was like, why, I think I'm

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<v Speaker 2>doing pretty well, like I'm living my dreams, blah blah blah.

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<v Speaker 2>She's like, I just know girls like you you're just

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<v Speaker 2>gonna work for the rest of your life and never

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<v Speaker 2>find a man. And just like I was like, all right,

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<v Speaker 2>now this is getting extra. Do we need to choose?

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<v Speaker 3>You have to choose like Choericles versus a husband. I

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<v Speaker 3>mean that kind of brings us start.

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<v Speaker 2>I think I think a lot of it has to

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<v Speaker 2>do with culture too, and like I think also, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>your parents are like they're ready for grandkids. They're like

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<v Speaker 2>I'm ready, Like I'm bored, my kids are out of

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<v Speaker 2>the house. Me and my husband have like had our time.

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<v Speaker 2>Now we're ready. They're like empty nest syr. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>like we're ready to know you have a little person

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<v Speaker 2>come in here and you know, spoil them and stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>But I think cultural you're right, yeah, and like I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I don't know a lot about your culture,

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<v Speaker 2>but like and I just know like what the stereotypes are, right,

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<v Speaker 2>like Indian Indian. Let me tell you what. Let me

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<v Speaker 2>tell you what. I yeah, tell you because I can

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<v Speaker 2>totally be wrong. Yeah, but that, Yeah, there's a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of arranged marriages that you know, their families want their

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<v Speaker 2>children to be like highly educated doctors, lawyers, you know,

0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:33.920
<v Speaker 2>heads of hedge funds, whatever that might be marrying within

0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:38.920
<v Speaker 2>your you know, your race and your culture and what else. Yeah,

0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:40.920
<v Speaker 2>I mean, you nailed like all the realityky, So the

0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:44.600
<v Speaker 2>reality are arranged marriage. My sister is a doctor. I

0:10:44.600 --> 0:10:48.480
<v Speaker 2>have forty first cousins. They're all doctors and like being educated.

0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:50.720
<v Speaker 2>This is how I think about my dad's mentality is

0:10:51.080 --> 0:10:54.280
<v Speaker 2>he wants his kids to have the American dream. But

0:10:54.360 --> 0:10:56.480
<v Speaker 2>his definition of the American dream is very different from

0:10:56.480 --> 0:10:59.960
<v Speaker 2>my definition. To him, the American dream is having respect

0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:03.360
<v Speaker 2>in America, and having respect in America means being very educated,

0:11:03.640 --> 0:11:06.480
<v Speaker 2>and being educated in his mind is a doctor. So

0:11:06.520 --> 0:11:08.840
<v Speaker 2>it like trickles down. But for me, I'm more like

0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:10.840
<v Speaker 2>I want to create a path for people that hasn't

0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:13.520
<v Speaker 2>been created for me. That's my American dream. So there's

0:11:13.520 --> 0:11:16.000
<v Speaker 2>this conflict between his mentality and mind that we have

0:11:16.080 --> 0:11:18.160
<v Speaker 2>all the time. But I think I get it at

0:11:18.200 --> 0:11:20.240
<v Speaker 2>the same time, Like they came here with nothing, like

0:11:20.280 --> 0:11:22.440
<v Speaker 2>my dad like was in India in a village like

0:11:23.400 --> 0:11:25.679
<v Speaker 2>literally in rice fields, and then to come to that

0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:28.640
<v Speaker 2>and then give his daughter like all this opportunity. Like

0:11:28.760 --> 0:11:32.200
<v Speaker 2>so I get their mindsets, but they also need to

0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:34.800
<v Speaker 2>like listen to us, and finally I realize you get

0:11:34.840 --> 0:11:36.719
<v Speaker 2>to a certain age where your parents finally are like

0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:39.200
<v Speaker 2>you know what, like maybe they do know some things

0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:41.080
<v Speaker 2>to teach us, which feels really good, Like I feel

0:11:41.080 --> 0:11:42.560
<v Speaker 2>like y'all are going to trip out when you're done,

0:11:42.559 --> 0:11:44.360
<v Speaker 2>Like you know when they say that to you and

0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:46.520
<v Speaker 2>they're like wait, wait, like your kids are teaching you.

0:11:46.840 --> 0:11:49.920
<v Speaker 2>I feel like that daily. Really yeah, now I do

0:11:49.920 --> 0:11:52.080
<v Speaker 2>feel like that. I think maybe it's attach your mom.

0:11:52.360 --> 0:11:54.280
<v Speaker 2>I think it's hard. I think the generation that our

0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:56.200
<v Speaker 2>parents grew up, that's something that you don't really you

0:11:56.240 --> 0:11:59.120
<v Speaker 2>can't it's hard to acknowledge. Yes, Whereas I think now

0:11:59.240 --> 0:12:02.319
<v Speaker 2>we're like Millennis and I feel like we are a

0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:04.920
<v Speaker 2>little bit more open to the idea of like this

0:12:05.040 --> 0:12:08.480
<v Speaker 2>hierarchy between children and parents, and like, I know everything

0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:12.120
<v Speaker 2>you learn from me, where like I think, I think

0:12:12.440 --> 0:12:15.080
<v Speaker 2>I look forward to I reteaching me things. She's taught

0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:18.960
<v Speaker 2>me so many things about patience. You know, she's taught

0:12:18.960 --> 0:12:21.680
<v Speaker 2>me how to love in a different way too, you know,

0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:25.880
<v Speaker 2>like really taking care of someone and loving them unconditionally.

0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:28.560
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I think it's innate within me, because you know,

0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:30.679
<v Speaker 2>you're they're they're like this little person that comes from

0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:32.520
<v Speaker 2>you to just kind of love them un conditionally. But

0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:34.600
<v Speaker 2>there's times where I'm like, oh my god, and I

0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:37.120
<v Speaker 2>can't imagine, like as a teenager, like her disappointing me

0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:39.719
<v Speaker 2>and like or doing something terrible. I mean, we've had

0:12:39.760 --> 0:12:41.160
<v Speaker 2>an episode where we talked about like what if your

0:12:41.160 --> 0:12:44.120
<v Speaker 2>parents said he is like a serial killer? Like how

0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:48.160
<v Speaker 2>do you like? Yeah, like is it unconditional? Like what then?

0:12:48.559 --> 0:12:50.560
<v Speaker 2>You know? And I think it is even then, Like

0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:53.120
<v Speaker 2>I've been watching I've been watching I've been watching id

0:12:53.559 --> 0:12:56.040
<v Speaker 2>ID TV, and like there's been all these serial killer

0:12:56.240 --> 0:13:00.600
<v Speaker 2>like Jeffrey Dahmer, like When the Parents The Parents. There's

0:13:00.720 --> 0:13:03.040
<v Speaker 2>a series called When Kids Killed No I've seen that one,

0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:05.640
<v Speaker 2>but the parents that I noticed are always like it

0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:08.400
<v Speaker 2>was such a good one. Like, I don't know, they're

0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:09.000
<v Speaker 2>all in denial.

0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:12.559
<v Speaker 3>I just like traditionally, because Jeffrey Dahmer was like killing animals,

0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:14.840
<v Speaker 3>there must be something deep rooted to all of that though,

0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:18.520
<v Speaker 3>right killer. I think the fucked up part is is

0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:20.360
<v Speaker 3>that there is some deep rooting and a lot of

0:13:20.400 --> 0:13:22.960
<v Speaker 3>times people who like have like our fucked up adults

0:13:22.960 --> 0:13:25.800
<v Speaker 3>have had really dark, weird childhoods. But I think also

0:13:25.920 --> 0:13:29.480
<v Speaker 3>sometimes people just come through us and that has really

0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:32.600
<v Speaker 3>nothing to do with anything, like it's just mental. I

0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:35.840
<v Speaker 3>think some I think Jeffrey Dahmer was just like something

0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:38.280
<v Speaker 3>was wrong. Like I just think sometimes we're just a

0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:39.760
<v Speaker 3>vessel and people are coming through and we.

0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:41.480
<v Speaker 2>Got to kind of like take it.

0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:44.800
<v Speaker 3>No, I agree with that too, And I don't know

0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:47.679
<v Speaker 3>what the lesson in having a serial killer child would be, but.

0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:53.160
<v Speaker 2>Please God, don't let it be me. No. But so yeah,

0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:55.800
<v Speaker 2>I mean this going back to what we were talking about,

0:13:55.840 --> 0:14:00.280
<v Speaker 2>like the stereotypes of you know, your culture, I mean,

0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:03.480
<v Speaker 2>they're real, I mean, and it's not something that's even

0:14:03.559 --> 0:14:05.360
<v Speaker 2>so the idea of arranged marriages I think is so

0:14:05.480 --> 0:14:09.160
<v Speaker 2>fascinating because I wouldn't. My parents describe this to me

0:14:09.200 --> 0:14:12.280
<v Speaker 2>recently and they were like, it wasn't forced. We were

0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:15.880
<v Speaker 2>introduced and like we hit it off. It's just weird

0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:18.600
<v Speaker 2>because it's in within forty eight hours. You're like, oh,

0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:20.000
<v Speaker 2>you hit it off in forty eight hours. They just

0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:22.520
<v Speaker 2>had this chemistry. But the divorce rate for people who

0:14:22.560 --> 0:14:26.200
<v Speaker 2>have arranged marriages is so much lower because like it's

0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:30.520
<v Speaker 2>I do you think also, because divorcing is like, yes,

0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:32.520
<v Speaker 2>oh of course that's a huge part of it, but

0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:34.400
<v Speaker 2>it's more like they make it work, they stick it out.

0:14:35.080 --> 0:14:37.480
<v Speaker 2>I am very I have a completely different take on that.

0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:38.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, if you're not happy, get out of it

0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:42.360
<v Speaker 2>and enjoy the rest of your life. But in general, yeah,

0:14:42.400 --> 0:14:45.120
<v Speaker 2>like a divorce is so taboo. But arranged marriages, like

0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:47.720
<v Speaker 2>I tell my parents now, I'm like, I would think

0:14:47.800 --> 0:14:50.040
<v Speaker 2>my mom and dad would want nothing like an amazing

0:14:50.040 --> 0:14:53.320
<v Speaker 2>guy for me, so I'm like, sure, introduce me. I'm

0:14:53.360 --> 0:14:58.280
<v Speaker 2>not against it. But then they end up being like

0:14:58.760 --> 0:15:02.200
<v Speaker 2>the great blah blah blah. They come from a great family,

0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:04.200
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, is it going to be the family

0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:05.800
<v Speaker 2>and me when I'm seventy or is it going to

0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:08.200
<v Speaker 2>be me and him? And it's cool because my dad

0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:10.480
<v Speaker 2>gets that. He's very like I actually asked him about

0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:14.440
<v Speaker 2>my ex boyfriend, do you what do you think about us?

0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:16.040
<v Speaker 2>And do you think I should marry him? And he said,

0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:18.400
<v Speaker 2>why are you asking me this? He's like, I don't

0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:20.960
<v Speaker 2>want you to ever look back and resent me because

0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:23.520
<v Speaker 2>of a decision that you made because of me. And

0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:26.160
<v Speaker 2>that was like a crazy thing for an Indian dad. Yeah,

0:15:26.680 --> 0:15:29.520
<v Speaker 2>say that's pretty progressive. Oh my god, he is. Yeah.

0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:32.760
<v Speaker 2>I think he's just realized now through trial and error

0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:36.320
<v Speaker 2>with us. Yeah, my sister went to India for med

0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:38.520
<v Speaker 2>school and it was like something that when I was

0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:41.080
<v Speaker 2>in high school, we broke up our families, so like

0:15:41.360 --> 0:15:43.000
<v Speaker 2>in the sense of my mom went there to go

0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:45.640
<v Speaker 2>stay with her while I was here being raised by

0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:48.160
<v Speaker 2>my dad. And that kind of moment is something that

0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:50.720
<v Speaker 2>we always have this sort of regret as a family.

0:15:51.080 --> 0:15:53.880
<v Speaker 2>So I think after that happened, he was like, this

0:15:53.960 --> 0:15:56.160
<v Speaker 2>is their lives and their decisions, not mine to make

0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:59.400
<v Speaker 2>for any my daughter, which is cool. So when you

0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:00.800
<v Speaker 2>have kids, yeah, are.

0:16:00.640 --> 0:16:04.120
<v Speaker 3>You gonna would you are you for arranging in a

0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:06.760
<v Speaker 3>marriage for your daughter or would you not do that.

0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:10.320
<v Speaker 2>I think introducing I'm down to introduceing like you must

0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:12.640
<v Speaker 2>marry this man. Absolutely not. And I don't think my

0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:15.320
<v Speaker 2>parents would even do that to me, like introducing like

0:16:15.520 --> 0:16:21.560
<v Speaker 2>your parents just have like a young homies like and

0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:24.160
<v Speaker 2>their friends have kids. I guess that's true. I'm just like,

0:16:24.240 --> 0:16:27.520
<v Speaker 2>who are the meetings? I feel like when I go

0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:29.240
<v Speaker 2>to any city, like, people are like, oh, when you

0:16:29.240 --> 0:16:31.360
<v Speaker 2>moved to LA from New York, like, did you know

0:16:31.440 --> 0:16:32.840
<v Speaker 2>a lot of people? And I was like, I feel

0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:34.720
<v Speaker 2>like the thing about being Indian is you have a

0:16:34.760 --> 0:16:38.040
<v Speaker 2>built in network in any city you go to, Oh

0:16:38.120 --> 0:16:39.680
<v Speaker 2>my mom will call blah blah blah auntie and blah

0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:43.720
<v Speaker 2>blah blah uncle, and everyone's auntie and uncle and it's

0:16:43.800 --> 0:16:45.640
<v Speaker 2>and I'm good, like I feel I really do feel

0:16:45.640 --> 0:16:47.360
<v Speaker 2>like I have people who are like family here because

0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:49.320
<v Speaker 2>of that built a network, which is dope. Like to

0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:51.960
<v Speaker 2>have that in your culture so beautiful. I think that's

0:16:52.000 --> 0:16:55.720
<v Speaker 2>something that we don't have in our culture, really I do.

0:16:55.880 --> 0:16:57.520
<v Speaker 3>I mean, first of all, I think, like black people,

0:16:57.560 --> 0:16:59.440
<v Speaker 3>everybody's your auntie and your uncle and your cousin.

0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:01.160
<v Speaker 2>True. I guess that's true in a way.

0:17:01.280 --> 0:17:03.600
<v Speaker 3>And if I go like I mean not everywhere, but

0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:04.960
<v Speaker 3>like if I go said where, my dad's like, oh,

0:17:05.040 --> 0:17:05.600
<v Speaker 3>let me call my friend.

0:17:05.640 --> 0:17:06.800
<v Speaker 2>I think my friends out there. He may pick you

0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:10.920
<v Speaker 2>up from the airport. Okay, exactly met him when he

0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:13.280
<v Speaker 2>was too hold on, let me go Exactly. I don't

0:17:13.320 --> 0:17:15.199
<v Speaker 2>want George to pick me up, but I remember him

0:17:15.200 --> 0:17:17.399
<v Speaker 2>from an almost too, like, don't worry, don't work. But

0:17:17.640 --> 0:17:19.879
<v Speaker 2>you know you're right. I guess you're right. And my

0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:23.240
<v Speaker 2>dad does know someone anywhere to like help me with something, right, Yeah, exactly,

0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:24.960
<v Speaker 2>you need to beat up. Give me a second. Were

0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:29.080
<v Speaker 2>you at having a thousand people at your your daughter's wedding.

0:17:29.160 --> 0:17:32.520
<v Speaker 2>It's like it's it's insane. But at the same time

0:17:32.640 --> 0:17:35.840
<v Speaker 2>I think, I think, yeah, I think we have that,

0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:40.720
<v Speaker 2>but I think he has for sure, like like I

0:17:40.720 --> 0:17:42.600
<v Speaker 2>don't have a thousand people to invite. No, I don't

0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:44.320
<v Speaker 2>know that. I don't have a thousand people.

0:17:44.359 --> 0:17:47.560
<v Speaker 3>The Indian community is very tight. It's very tight. It's

0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:50.280
<v Speaker 3>very tight knit. It's very family oriented and I respect

0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:52.399
<v Speaker 3>and I've really I'm trying to get in.

0:17:52.480 --> 0:17:54.840
<v Speaker 2>If your mom knows any homies for me, yeah, I'm down.

0:17:55.040 --> 0:17:58.320
<v Speaker 2>I have a cousin he's yeah, let's introduce Okay, I'm selling.

0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:03.919
<v Speaker 2>I know, and Indian would be the most beautiful. I

0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:06.720
<v Speaker 2>don't know. I just I do Indian A bile Indian

0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:12.000
<v Speaker 2>Indian girl. I don't know that many.

0:18:12.480 --> 0:18:16.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Eric's phone is singing because has your airplane mode?

0:18:16.520 --> 0:18:23.439
<v Speaker 2>She doesn't listen you. I well, A, I don't know

0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:27.000
<v Speaker 2>that many Indian people that date outside of their race. Yep.

0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:29.480
<v Speaker 3>If I ever have talked to like an Indian guy

0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:31.479
<v Speaker 3>or usually I said this whole time, if I did

0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:33.040
<v Speaker 3>anyone outside of race, I'm like, what are your parents

0:18:33.080 --> 0:18:35.919
<v Speaker 3>going to think about me? But I mean, even though

0:18:35.920 --> 0:18:38.280
<v Speaker 3>I know Indian culture doesn't look this way, like feel

0:18:38.320 --> 0:18:40.280
<v Speaker 3>this way, I kind of feel like Indian and Black

0:18:41.080 --> 0:18:41.600
<v Speaker 3>are close.

0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:44.240
<v Speaker 2>I know me too well.

0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:45.959
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I just I just feel like I wouldn't

0:18:45.960 --> 0:18:47.440
<v Speaker 3>think it'd be that big of a deal. Why do

0:18:47.480 --> 0:18:53.400
<v Speaker 3>you think it's close? Melanin same? But I don't think

0:18:53.440 --> 0:18:56.000
<v Speaker 3>that is the common feeling. No, it's probably not. I know,

0:18:56.200 --> 0:18:58.680
<v Speaker 3>I mean, and I know culturally it's totally different things.

0:18:58.720 --> 0:19:01.879
<v Speaker 3>I mean, Indian people have like way more unity and culture.

0:19:01.920 --> 0:19:04.240
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I think that's what Black African Americans lack

0:19:04.320 --> 0:19:07.040
<v Speaker 3>in general, which I think sucks and we need more

0:19:07.080 --> 0:19:08.879
<v Speaker 3>of that. So I end like even like in a

0:19:08.880 --> 0:19:11.120
<v Speaker 3>lot of different cultures, there's a lot more unity. It's

0:19:11.119 --> 0:19:13.280
<v Speaker 3>funny you say that because I would have thought the opposite.

0:19:13.400 --> 0:19:16.200
<v Speaker 3>Really it's see and I'm I'm I guess so complating

0:19:16.280 --> 0:19:20.320
<v Speaker 3>it to media and it seems like there's so many

0:19:20.359 --> 0:19:22.359
<v Speaker 3>like black women coming together in the media being like

0:19:22.400 --> 0:19:24.159
<v Speaker 3>we can all win, we can all come together. And

0:19:24.200 --> 0:19:26.359
<v Speaker 3>I think that that's like really dope, and you're not

0:19:26.400 --> 0:19:28.359
<v Speaker 3>seeing that as much in the South Asian side, which

0:19:28.440 --> 0:19:31.160
<v Speaker 3>I hope did exist. But also you also just don't

0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:31.960
<v Speaker 3>see South Asian people.

0:19:32.000 --> 0:19:33.200
<v Speaker 2>That's what I was gonna say. Well, that's what I

0:19:33.240 --> 0:19:35.320
<v Speaker 2>was gonna say. You just don't see. The numbers just

0:19:35.359 --> 0:19:37.440
<v Speaker 2>aren't there yet, right, But I think I was talking

0:19:37.440 --> 0:19:40.360
<v Speaker 2>to you about this is like our culture just isn't

0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:42.800
<v Speaker 2>social media active. And that's that sucks for me because

0:19:42.840 --> 0:19:44.639
<v Speaker 2>right like I'm trying to throw my social following and

0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:47.119
<v Speaker 2>like build, but we're just not social media allowed. But

0:19:47.160 --> 0:19:49.280
<v Speaker 2>you guys are a pioneer. You're going to be You're

0:19:49.320 --> 0:19:51.200
<v Speaker 2>going to like bring that out or you're going to

0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:53.960
<v Speaker 2>let some other girl on South Asia be like, oh

0:19:54.000 --> 0:19:55.720
<v Speaker 2>I can do this too. I mean, I hope to you.

0:19:55.960 --> 0:19:57.720
<v Speaker 2>I see you doing it, and I know it exists.

0:19:57.800 --> 0:20:00.359
<v Speaker 2>But it's because we're trained to not be like you

0:20:00.400 --> 0:20:02.320
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean. We're changed to study and like

0:20:02.760 --> 0:20:05.439
<v Speaker 2>have our voice kind of be like it's it's private.

0:20:05.480 --> 0:20:08.160
<v Speaker 2>We don't know about this open legs, keep it. We keep. Yeah,

0:20:08.200 --> 0:20:11.600
<v Speaker 2>we keep our business to ourselves and we don't share,

0:20:12.040 --> 0:20:13.520
<v Speaker 2>you know, just deal with it with the family and

0:20:13.560 --> 0:20:14.359
<v Speaker 2>get through it. You know.

0:20:14.560 --> 0:20:16.919
<v Speaker 3>I think that's Black people have secret not secretive, but

0:20:16.960 --> 0:20:18.240
<v Speaker 3>like our problems are our problems.

0:20:18.240 --> 0:20:20.760
<v Speaker 2>You don't talk about your family problems with other people. Yeah,

0:20:20.800 --> 0:20:22.960
<v Speaker 2>but that's but but that's the only that's the a

0:20:22.960 --> 0:20:26.320
<v Speaker 2>Black people love to be on a camera. Yeah, just

0:20:26.320 --> 0:20:30.000
<v Speaker 2>showing out dancing, doing the makeup. Oh my god, that's typical.

0:20:30.080 --> 0:20:31.879
<v Speaker 2>But it's kind of true. We're lou We're loud and

0:20:31.920 --> 0:20:35.680
<v Speaker 2>beautiful and proud saying that South Asians aren't. It's just culturally,

0:20:35.720 --> 0:20:39.280
<v Speaker 2>you guys have you know, been taught to be you know, reserved,

0:20:40.000 --> 0:20:42.639
<v Speaker 2>slowly changing because of like just im medium now with

0:20:42.800 --> 0:20:45.280
<v Speaker 2>Pria Choper's out there, Mindy Kale's like things like that.

0:20:45.600 --> 0:20:47.560
<v Speaker 2>It's slowly happening, but slowly.

0:20:47.680 --> 0:20:50.760
<v Speaker 3>That is true though, because I mean, it's all stereotypes, honestly,

0:20:50.760 --> 0:20:53.200
<v Speaker 3>because there's going to be a loud everybody.

0:20:52.680 --> 0:20:54.160
<v Speaker 2>And a quiet everybody. Yeah.

0:20:54.320 --> 0:20:56.600
<v Speaker 3>But yeah, when I think of it now, like when

0:20:56.680 --> 0:20:59.080
<v Speaker 3>I think of like Indian women or like women I've known,

0:20:59.200 --> 0:21:00.960
<v Speaker 3>or if I meet us certain type of Indian woman,

0:21:01.000 --> 0:21:02.760
<v Speaker 3>like I have a client, she's like real loud and

0:21:02.880 --> 0:21:05.679
<v Speaker 3>real like boisterous, I'm real like you, and I'm like,

0:21:05.720 --> 0:21:07.200
<v Speaker 3>oh I never okay girl.

0:21:07.800 --> 0:21:11.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, or like this is gonna.

0:21:10.960 --> 0:21:14.520
<v Speaker 3>Sound really fucked up, but like like a hoochie Indian woman,

0:21:14.560 --> 0:21:16.320
<v Speaker 3>like I have a friend who's fand with hoocci. I'm like,

0:21:16.359 --> 0:21:17.960
<v Speaker 3>this is not supposed to not supposed to be the

0:21:17.960 --> 0:21:19.520
<v Speaker 3>Succi You're like confused.

0:21:19.600 --> 0:21:21.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm like, who are you? But we're also like

0:21:21.720 --> 0:21:25.840
<v Speaker 2>do you see our Indian outfits? I know, right, yeah yeah,

0:21:26.000 --> 0:21:28.080
<v Speaker 2>so that's the ironic part about it all. But like

0:21:28.320 --> 0:21:31.040
<v Speaker 2>we were talking about earlier, it's like I love seeing

0:21:31.040 --> 0:21:33.080
<v Speaker 2>other people where our outfits. Like when you come to

0:21:33.119 --> 0:21:34.840
<v Speaker 2>an Indian wedding wearing a sari, I think that's like

0:21:34.840 --> 0:21:37.200
<v Speaker 2>a beautiful thing. It's like celebrating our culture, yeh, because

0:21:37.200 --> 0:21:39.560
<v Speaker 2>you're there to celebrate the culture anyway. Yeah, so can

0:21:39.600 --> 0:21:40.959
<v Speaker 2>we talk. Yeah, what are you talking about? Okay?

0:21:41.520 --> 0:21:45.000
<v Speaker 3>So I always wear Bendi's because I like them. I

0:21:45.119 --> 0:21:47.680
<v Speaker 3>like like face jewelry. I don't know why, I just do.

0:21:47.800 --> 0:21:50.359
<v Speaker 3>I like hair jewelry and feathers in my hair. And

0:21:50.440 --> 0:21:53.359
<v Speaker 3>today I wore a Bindi and you know what, I've

0:21:53.400 --> 0:21:56.240
<v Speaker 3>never thought twice about it ever, Like ever, Like I

0:21:56.240 --> 0:21:58.360
<v Speaker 3>go out, I wear all the time. I get compliments

0:21:58.400 --> 0:22:00.800
<v Speaker 3>and I just think because I really I like, get

0:22:00.840 --> 0:22:01.800
<v Speaker 3>Hannah on my hands.

0:22:01.840 --> 0:22:03.919
<v Speaker 2>I like that. So today I came and she's like,

0:22:04.960 --> 0:22:06.800
<v Speaker 2>I don't take that off? And I was like, is it?

0:22:06.840 --> 0:22:09.920
<v Speaker 2>Is it? Am I culture appropriating? It's like culture, nothing else,

0:22:09.960 --> 0:22:14.280
<v Speaker 2>but nothing else gets to people that are like Indian people,

0:22:14.400 --> 0:22:17.720
<v Speaker 2>South Asian people. But seeing that because that's a symbol

0:22:17.760 --> 0:22:21.000
<v Speaker 2>of Hinduism specifically and not a fashion statement, and there

0:22:21.000 --> 0:22:23.720
<v Speaker 2>has been in the past people who have used it

0:22:23.760 --> 0:22:26.040
<v Speaker 2>as a fashion statement, and because the meaning isn't there,

0:22:26.040 --> 0:22:27.520
<v Speaker 2>the education isn't there, is frustrating.

0:22:27.640 --> 0:22:29.439
<v Speaker 3>And I had no idea. So I'm one of those

0:22:29.480 --> 0:22:31.880
<v Speaker 3>people because now you know. But that's why these things

0:22:31.920 --> 0:22:32.520
<v Speaker 3>are so important.

0:22:32.520 --> 0:22:36.000
<v Speaker 2>But I mean, I can't worar them anymore. Well, I

0:22:36.320 --> 0:22:39.720
<v Speaker 2>would say, Jamila that you are a very pinionated person

0:22:39.720 --> 0:22:43.959
<v Speaker 2>when it comes to other people appropriating Black culture. So

0:22:44.240 --> 0:22:47.960
<v Speaker 2>it's like when it relates to you, you can't be like, well, no, no,

0:22:48.400 --> 0:22:52.239
<v Speaker 2>I'm totally here to listen. Well I know you are,

0:22:52.280 --> 0:22:54.280
<v Speaker 2>I just say. And we were having this conversation too,

0:22:54.359 --> 0:22:55.960
<v Speaker 2>like why is it? Because I feel like a lot

0:22:55.960 --> 0:22:58.560
<v Speaker 2>of times, as black women, we don't feel like we

0:22:58.600 --> 0:23:01.840
<v Speaker 2>can a cultural We don't like we can culturally appropriate

0:23:01.920 --> 0:23:06.040
<v Speaker 2>something because our culture has been appropriated so much that

0:23:06.119 --> 0:23:09.560
<v Speaker 2>we forget that there's other cultures out there that, like,

0:23:09.640 --> 0:23:12.119
<v Speaker 2>you know, like the like the Bindi or or I

0:23:12.119 --> 0:23:13.520
<v Speaker 2>don't even know, I can't like I can't think of it,

0:23:13.600 --> 0:23:16.359
<v Speaker 2>or like the Geisha or even someone else. Like actually,

0:23:16.359 --> 0:23:18.359
<v Speaker 2>I was at the beauty Blender office and one of

0:23:18.920 --> 0:23:21.680
<v Speaker 2>someone who works there, I was like, I loved this

0:23:21.800 --> 0:23:23.800
<v Speaker 2>dress and it was kind of like that, you know,

0:23:23.880 --> 0:23:25.439
<v Speaker 2>like like it's not Geisha, but you know it's like

0:23:25.480 --> 0:23:30.119
<v Speaker 2>the flower blossom. Yeah, yeah, pins over And I was like,

0:23:30.200 --> 0:23:31.919
<v Speaker 2>is this cute? And she was and I was like,

0:23:32.080 --> 0:23:33.560
<v Speaker 2>and I asked her, I was like, would you be

0:23:33.600 --> 0:23:36.320
<v Speaker 2>offended if I wore this? And she said yes, wow,

0:23:36.359 --> 0:23:39.080
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, wow, it's and I'm wondering if

0:23:39.080 --> 0:23:41.879
<v Speaker 2>she would have been offended ten years ago, because I

0:23:41.880 --> 0:23:44.080
<v Speaker 2>feel like in the last ten years it's become or

0:23:44.320 --> 0:23:47.639
<v Speaker 2>even five years. It's just because everything is so sensitive.

0:23:48.119 --> 0:23:50.119
<v Speaker 2>I think I don't know if she would I would,

0:23:50.119 --> 0:23:53.600
<v Speaker 2>And my guess is that maybe not. And my guess too,

0:23:53.720 --> 0:23:55.960
<v Speaker 2>like I'm not if I probably wouldn't have been offended

0:23:55.960 --> 0:23:58.040
<v Speaker 2>by things ten years ago too, that I'm offending. I'm

0:23:58.040 --> 0:24:00.960
<v Speaker 2>now too. It's just because we're just being educate, hated more. Yeah,

0:24:00.960 --> 0:24:03.720
<v Speaker 2>and social media, yeah, everything is.

0:24:04.080 --> 0:24:05.880
<v Speaker 3>But you know what I think, Like as much as

0:24:05.880 --> 0:24:07.960
<v Speaker 3>I am like super pro black and like I am

0:24:08.040 --> 0:24:11.359
<v Speaker 3>very opinionated on my blackness and other people's opinions on

0:24:11.400 --> 0:24:14.120
<v Speaker 3>blackness and blah blah blah, one thing I will say.

0:24:14.240 --> 0:24:17.400
<v Speaker 2>Is I don't really like I don't get offended.

0:24:17.440 --> 0:24:18.919
<v Speaker 3>Like if a girl is wearing a head wrap and

0:24:18.960 --> 0:24:21.280
<v Speaker 3>a dai shiki girl boom, you're with it.

0:24:21.320 --> 0:24:23.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm with it. You know, I'm team Rachel Dolaza.

0:24:24.040 --> 0:24:26.720
<v Speaker 3>Like I think I think there's intention if you're just

0:24:26.760 --> 0:24:29.840
<v Speaker 3>being ignorant and dumb, like if you're trying to like appropriate,

0:24:29.960 --> 0:24:32.080
<v Speaker 3>like I think, like I get bothered by like like

0:24:32.119 --> 0:24:33.720
<v Speaker 3>I said, like I don't care if a girl has

0:24:33.760 --> 0:24:35.959
<v Speaker 3>braids and you're white, or you're blue or you're purple.

0:24:36.040 --> 0:24:38.000
<v Speaker 3>But like, if you're a white woman and you're wearing

0:24:38.000 --> 0:24:40.080
<v Speaker 3>braids because you think that this represents.

0:24:39.720 --> 0:24:42.359
<v Speaker 2>Being black, or you're like, yeah, Nikat, or you think

0:24:42.440 --> 0:24:44.719
<v Speaker 2>more black men are you're going to try more black men,

0:24:44.880 --> 0:24:45.920
<v Speaker 2>that's my issue.

0:24:46.119 --> 0:24:48.280
<v Speaker 3>If you're like, I really like this hairstyle, just like

0:24:48.280 --> 0:24:50.720
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, I really like I really like Hannah, and

0:24:50.760 --> 0:24:52.920
<v Speaker 3>I really like wearing bendies because I think they're beautiful

0:24:53.200 --> 0:24:55.000
<v Speaker 3>and I think the culture is beautiful and I have

0:24:55.280 --> 0:24:57.960
<v Speaker 3>respect for the culture. And it's not like I'm trying

0:24:58.000 --> 0:25:01.280
<v Speaker 3>to take or emulate. It's just like something small that

0:25:01.359 --> 0:25:03.359
<v Speaker 3>I a piece that I think is cool and I,

0:25:03.480 --> 0:25:05.520
<v Speaker 3>you know, I even though I should know that it's

0:25:05.600 --> 0:25:07.280
<v Speaker 3>Hindu and not Indian, and there's all these things that

0:25:07.280 --> 0:25:10.160
<v Speaker 3>you're teaching me, which I'm appreciative of. I think I'm

0:25:10.160 --> 0:25:13.000
<v Speaker 3>not offended if someone wants to be a part of

0:25:13.000 --> 0:25:14.639
<v Speaker 3>the culture and learn about it and they think they

0:25:14.640 --> 0:25:15.920
<v Speaker 3>want to take a piece of it. I think that's

0:25:15.920 --> 0:25:18.159
<v Speaker 3>the part of like being American and being able to

0:25:18.280 --> 0:25:20.719
<v Speaker 3>diversify and take, you know, and like I mix them

0:25:20.720 --> 0:25:22.760
<v Speaker 3>as Raeley dishes because my best friend is Israeli and

0:25:22.800 --> 0:25:24.439
<v Speaker 3>I know how to do this because this, and I

0:25:24.680 --> 0:25:26.719
<v Speaker 3>can do some Russian shit because my friend is Russian.

0:25:26.840 --> 0:25:29.160
<v Speaker 3>But it doesn't mean I want to appropriate their culture.

0:25:29.359 --> 0:25:32.920
<v Speaker 3>So I think it's small about intent. The intent always the.

0:25:32.800 --> 0:25:34.800
<v Speaker 2>Thing is is like you're going to pist people off,

0:25:34.840 --> 0:25:37.119
<v Speaker 2>and some people won't care, and that's just the nature

0:25:37.160 --> 0:25:39.840
<v Speaker 2>of it. Yeah, you know, and it's like it's like

0:25:40.480 --> 0:25:42.720
<v Speaker 2>if it doesn't matter to you, then it doesn't matter

0:25:42.720 --> 0:25:42.919
<v Speaker 2>to you.

0:25:43.040 --> 0:25:46.679
<v Speaker 3>And I think also because African Americans, I think what

0:25:46.920 --> 0:25:49.520
<v Speaker 3>kind of annoys me is that we have been deprived

0:25:49.600 --> 0:25:52.359
<v Speaker 3>of culture. You know, like what we get as African

0:25:52.400 --> 0:25:57.320
<v Speaker 3>Americans is post slavery, and so there's certain things that like, okay,

0:25:57.680 --> 0:26:00.639
<v Speaker 3>we have like a Mexican a huge Mexican culture and

0:26:00.760 --> 0:26:04.760
<v Speaker 3>you know, California community and California influence. And because they

0:26:04.880 --> 0:26:07.280
<v Speaker 3>they've been able to it's like keep their music, keep

0:26:07.320 --> 0:26:10.520
<v Speaker 3>their religion, keep their language, keep that thing that that

0:26:10.560 --> 0:26:14.000
<v Speaker 3>glues them together. But as African Americans, when you know,

0:26:14.040 --> 0:26:16.520
<v Speaker 3>all we're taught is like our history starts at slavery,

0:26:16.960 --> 0:26:20.000
<v Speaker 3>and it's like, you know, watered down African culture mostly

0:26:20.040 --> 0:26:23.200
<v Speaker 3>influenced by like Caucasian culture and slavery, Like we don't

0:26:23.240 --> 0:26:25.600
<v Speaker 3>really have that, and I think that's why we lack unity,

0:26:25.640 --> 0:26:27.840
<v Speaker 3>because we don't have that glue. And I guess, I

0:26:27.840 --> 0:26:30.000
<v Speaker 3>guess it's just like the three things we do have,

0:26:30.160 --> 0:26:33.960
<v Speaker 3>like braids, you know, corn bread, I don't know, you know,

0:26:34.040 --> 0:26:34.880
<v Speaker 3>like let us keep it.

0:26:35.280 --> 0:26:39.160
<v Speaker 2>But the stuff that we've created here like music right right,

0:26:39.240 --> 0:26:41.199
<v Speaker 2>you know, yeah, those type of things. But yeah, you're right,

0:26:41.280 --> 0:26:45.119
<v Speaker 2>like we don't. Like I'm Nigerian according to ancestry dot com,

0:26:45.840 --> 0:26:48.520
<v Speaker 2>and I have known. I don't know anything about that

0:26:48.600 --> 0:26:51.840
<v Speaker 2>culture at all, Like I don't understand what the different

0:26:51.880 --> 0:26:56.160
<v Speaker 2>the different the different types of like communities within Nigeria.

0:26:56.320 --> 0:26:58.560
<v Speaker 2>Like when I was dating that guy from you know

0:26:58.680 --> 0:27:03.120
<v Speaker 2>my trembling with that. Yeah, yeah, we have the guys

0:27:03.119 --> 0:27:05.040
<v Speaker 2>we talked about on our podcast. We've named them so

0:27:06.240 --> 0:27:10.520
<v Speaker 2>trembling Lip. Whenever I kiss, he was always like vibrating

0:27:10.520 --> 0:27:15.480
<v Speaker 2>and very nervous. Yeah he was. No, he's just he's

0:27:15.480 --> 0:27:19.240
<v Speaker 2>not nervous. He's actually crazy and my god, hopefully he's friends.

0:27:19.240 --> 0:27:22.320
<v Speaker 2>He's not crazy. He's great. Great, he's great, he is great,

0:27:22.359 --> 0:27:25.680
<v Speaker 2>he is great, He's actually that was the most mature relationship,

0:27:26.160 --> 0:27:30.199
<v Speaker 2>dating relationship I've ever had anyway. Wow, he you know,

0:27:30.280 --> 0:27:32.159
<v Speaker 2>he was showing me so many different things and I

0:27:32.200 --> 0:27:36.160
<v Speaker 2>was like what, And there's different languages and different Yeah,

0:27:36.280 --> 0:27:40.240
<v Speaker 2>it's just things that we don't know about, like traditions.

0:27:40.440 --> 0:27:43.119
<v Speaker 2>I feel rotted. I feel wrong. But the thing is

0:27:43.200 --> 0:27:46.600
<v Speaker 2>we can. We could go and write and bring that in.

0:27:46.680 --> 0:27:49.800
<v Speaker 2>It's not like the internet has everything on there. We

0:27:49.800 --> 0:27:52.000
<v Speaker 2>can do our research if we really wanted to. We

0:27:52.080 --> 0:27:53.960
<v Speaker 2>just feel weird doing it because it doesn't feel like

0:27:53.960 --> 0:27:54.840
<v Speaker 2>it belongs to us.

0:27:55.119 --> 0:27:57.240
<v Speaker 3>Nigerians have I feel like a lot of closeness to

0:27:57.280 --> 0:27:59.720
<v Speaker 3>Indian culture that have like beautiful, large weddings.

0:28:00.160 --> 0:28:02.680
<v Speaker 2>For sure. I feel like it's very it's similar. Yeah,

0:28:03.119 --> 0:28:04.920
<v Speaker 2>that's a lot of stuff we talk about on Tinted.

0:28:05.000 --> 0:28:07.960
<v Speaker 2>Is this idea of like like nose piercings, Like I

0:28:08.480 --> 0:28:10.360
<v Speaker 2>thought that that was an Indian thing, and then we

0:28:10.400 --> 0:28:12.800
<v Speaker 2>looked back to the and like the whole history of

0:28:12.840 --> 0:28:15.560
<v Speaker 2>it and it went back to like gree Greek roots

0:28:15.600 --> 0:28:17.639
<v Speaker 2>and like Egyptian roots, and I was like, oh wow.

0:28:17.720 --> 0:28:20.840
<v Speaker 2>And so I think literally those type of educational things

0:28:20.880 --> 0:28:22.840
<v Speaker 2>is how it's going to change. But it just takes

0:28:22.840 --> 0:28:25.760
<v Speaker 2>the effort of doing it. Yeah, it's true, it's true.

0:28:25.840 --> 0:28:27.679
<v Speaker 3>I must to do my research like somebody else in

0:28:27.720 --> 0:28:31.520
<v Speaker 3>Africa were a Bendee. Oh yeah, no, it's actually a

0:28:31.680 --> 0:28:32.800
<v Speaker 3>Nigerian Cindy.

0:28:33.080 --> 0:28:35.879
<v Speaker 2>But the body art and body painting is does go

0:28:36.000 --> 0:28:37.879
<v Speaker 2>back to that, you know, So it's like it's just

0:28:37.920 --> 0:28:40.680
<v Speaker 2>all about I guess learning. Honestly, I was just saying

0:28:40.720 --> 0:28:43.800
<v Speaker 2>it more to protect you because I know it's a huge.

0:28:43.920 --> 0:28:45.440
<v Speaker 2>Well that's good because I would have never known.

0:28:45.440 --> 0:28:47.400
<v Speaker 3>Otherwise I would have went to the Indians the Hindu

0:28:47.480 --> 0:28:49.600
<v Speaker 3>festival rock in my like, you know, I just really

0:28:49.920 --> 0:28:52.280
<v Speaker 3>didn't know. I just saw something and I'm like, I

0:28:52.400 --> 0:28:53.960
<v Speaker 3>like it. And I've worn them for a long time,

0:28:54.200 --> 0:28:57.640
<v Speaker 3>like years, and no one's ever said, thanks to my friends,

0:28:58.480 --> 0:28:59.640
<v Speaker 3>I haven't an Indian wedding.

0:29:00.240 --> 0:29:02.560
<v Speaker 2>No, oh, you'll come to mind if it ever happened.

0:29:02.960 --> 0:29:05.400
<v Speaker 2>I went to an Indie wedding beautiful, yeah, and I

0:29:05.480 --> 0:29:07.440
<v Speaker 2>was given a sorry. I was like is it? I

0:29:07.480 --> 0:29:09.720
<v Speaker 2>actually felt like, is it okay? If I wear this,

0:29:09.960 --> 0:29:12.440
<v Speaker 2>that's fair it is? And she the bride, she was Indy,

0:29:12.480 --> 0:29:14.200
<v Speaker 2>and she was like, no, I want you to wear it, like, yeah,

0:29:14.320 --> 0:29:17.040
<v Speaker 2>take I have so many here, take your no literally

0:29:17.160 --> 0:29:19.280
<v Speaker 2>my mom has too many closets at them. But yeah,

0:29:19.320 --> 0:29:21.840
<v Speaker 2>like we want you to celebrate the culture, and it's

0:29:21.880 --> 0:29:23.520
<v Speaker 2>really exciting to see other people do that.

0:29:23.640 --> 0:29:26.680
<v Speaker 3>We love doing that, especially because it's like in America,

0:29:26.760 --> 0:29:28.480
<v Speaker 3>it's like, i mean, just in general, we have a

0:29:28.600 --> 0:29:31.680
<v Speaker 3>very white media. Everything's very i mean just now it's turning.

0:29:31.720 --> 0:29:34.400
<v Speaker 3>But like we don't get exposed that much to other

0:29:34.480 --> 0:29:37.000
<v Speaker 3>things unless you go seeking it, you know, until like now,

0:29:37.040 --> 0:29:38.960
<v Speaker 3>but there's things like you know, live tinted and we

0:29:39.040 --> 0:29:42.080
<v Speaker 3>have these conversations and shit, like even I noticed, like

0:29:42.120 --> 0:29:43.640
<v Speaker 3>I was like, you know, like you said earlier, like

0:29:44.120 --> 0:29:46.080
<v Speaker 3>I go to the store for Luna and I look

0:29:46.120 --> 0:29:48.960
<v Speaker 3>at dolls and even in Target, I'm like, oh yeah,

0:29:49.000 --> 0:29:50.920
<v Speaker 3>I want to like every time I like social media,

0:29:50.960 --> 0:29:52.880
<v Speaker 3>like what the fuck is that shit? But then I'm like, damn,

0:29:52.920 --> 0:29:56.520
<v Speaker 3>I feel unincluded. But imagine Deepica, Imagine my Asian friends,

0:29:56.560 --> 0:29:58.880
<v Speaker 3>imagine you know, I really think that, like damn, we

0:29:58.920 --> 0:30:01.440
<v Speaker 3>need we need to start even further because there's woman

0:30:01.440 --> 0:30:04.360
<v Speaker 3>who look even you know, not white, not black, not tan,

0:30:04.920 --> 0:30:08.240
<v Speaker 3>and we don't even have that exactly, And so I'm

0:30:08.280 --> 0:30:11.600
<v Speaker 3>always I'm always like noticing noticing it, even as a

0:30:11.680 --> 0:30:14.840
<v Speaker 3>kid before like this huge social media make up makeup,

0:30:14.880 --> 0:30:15.840
<v Speaker 3>makeout makeup thing.

0:30:16.520 --> 0:30:17.880
<v Speaker 2>I remember like looking at Chanel.

0:30:17.960 --> 0:30:20.280
<v Speaker 3>It looked like going in Macy's and seeing the cosmetics

0:30:20.280 --> 0:30:23.000
<v Speaker 3>and seeing the range and shade range and thinking, what the.

0:30:22.960 --> 0:30:26.040
<v Speaker 2>Fuck is this? Oh my god, that was my whole child.

0:30:26.040 --> 0:30:29.640
<v Speaker 3>I feel like we could have like successfully, like had

0:30:29.640 --> 0:30:33.200
<v Speaker 3>a lawsuit because for like for a million years, there

0:30:33.280 --> 0:30:34.680
<v Speaker 3>was like this darkest.

0:30:34.320 --> 0:30:38.640
<v Speaker 2>Shade was Erica. Yeah, and she's like white, right, use

0:30:39.040 --> 0:30:41.600
<v Speaker 2>whitish rude.

0:30:41.760 --> 0:30:44.720
<v Speaker 3>Well, it's we're embracing all the color spectrums, but the

0:30:44.720 --> 0:30:47.480
<v Speaker 3>point is you're not the darkest of the spectrum clearly.

0:30:48.000 --> 0:30:49.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. And that's totally how I grew up, and that

0:30:50.080 --> 0:30:53.040
<v Speaker 2>was that was really depressing. I wanted to avoid the

0:30:53.080 --> 0:30:55.240
<v Speaker 2>sun because of it. I just wanted to look like

0:30:55.280 --> 0:30:57.080
<v Speaker 2>all the girls that I saw on the magazines.

0:30:57.320 --> 0:30:59.680
<v Speaker 3>Is that a thing in the Indian culture, like whitening

0:30:59.720 --> 0:31:01.720
<v Speaker 3>your in avoiding the sun? Because that's the thing in

0:31:01.720 --> 0:31:02.920
<v Speaker 3>the black culture, Like I don't want to be in

0:31:02.920 --> 0:31:05.440
<v Speaker 3>the sun. I don't need to get more dark, Like it's.

0:31:05.320 --> 0:31:08.920
<v Speaker 2>Black, it's Mexican, it's Hispanic. Yeah, they're all fair and lovely.

0:31:09.080 --> 0:31:12.880
<v Speaker 2>Was a staple. Cream on my mom's counter growing up,

0:31:12.920 --> 0:31:15.160
<v Speaker 2>it was a bleaching cream and it's like a number

0:31:15.200 --> 0:31:17.560
<v Speaker 2>one product in Asia. Have you spoken to her? Have

0:31:17.640 --> 0:31:20.360
<v Speaker 2>you spoke to her about that now? Yeah? Even now?

0:31:20.480 --> 0:31:24.560
<v Speaker 2>I love obviously for like cancer reasons, I don't like

0:31:24.680 --> 0:31:26.680
<v Speaker 2>to do it, but I love the sun like I

0:31:26.760 --> 0:31:29.400
<v Speaker 2>love how it feels. It's like relaxing. I love the

0:31:29.480 --> 0:31:31.480
<v Speaker 2>tan that I get out of it or melanated to people.

0:31:31.800 --> 0:31:34.040
<v Speaker 2>Even the dude we were just talking about that lives here,

0:31:34.160 --> 0:31:39.760
<v Speaker 2>he cannot. He is so not into dark skin Indian girls,

0:31:40.120 --> 0:31:42.440
<v Speaker 2>and he's very vocal about it. He'll be like, well,

0:31:42.440 --> 0:31:44.040
<v Speaker 2>first of all, he's just into Indian but within that,

0:31:44.120 --> 0:31:46.320
<v Speaker 2>it has to be like the Bollywood standard, like super

0:31:46.360 --> 0:31:49.320
<v Speaker 2>fair skin, super tiny, one of those things. And like

0:31:49.720 --> 0:31:51.880
<v Speaker 2>you don't think that do you feel offunded by that?

0:31:51.920 --> 0:31:53.480
<v Speaker 3>Because when a guy tells me something like that a

0:31:53.520 --> 0:31:54.680
<v Speaker 3>black eye, I would be offunded.

0:31:54.800 --> 0:31:57.040
<v Speaker 2>So yes, But so it goes back and forth, it

0:31:57.080 --> 0:32:00.600
<v Speaker 2>goes all people have types, right, but what is the

0:32:00.680 --> 0:32:03.760
<v Speaker 2>idea of like avoiding the sun to look like a

0:32:03.760 --> 0:32:06.000
<v Speaker 2>certain beauty standard? Because it's like, why do you actually

0:32:06.040 --> 0:32:08.200
<v Speaker 2>like that? Is it? And I don't know the answer.

0:32:08.320 --> 0:32:10.320
<v Speaker 2>This is it? Because of what society has said to

0:32:10.320 --> 0:32:13.000
<v Speaker 2>you or is that just really your type? And that's tight?

0:32:13.760 --> 0:32:16.400
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean I think it's social. I think we

0:32:16.440 --> 0:32:19.600
<v Speaker 3>don't realize how programmed we are and for that, like

0:32:19.640 --> 0:32:21.680
<v Speaker 3>we're not realizing what we're saying and why. But I

0:32:21.720 --> 0:32:24.600
<v Speaker 3>think it's absolutely we would have grown with like black

0:32:24.680 --> 0:32:27.080
<v Speaker 3>black black black black was the standard of beauty.

0:32:27.360 --> 0:32:29.880
<v Speaker 2>Everybody would be rushing to the tanning salon. No. Cammy

0:32:30.080 --> 0:32:31.760
<v Speaker 2>was telling me the story the other day to you,

0:32:31.920 --> 0:32:34.760
<v Speaker 2>saying how this white girl came out to her and

0:32:34.800 --> 0:32:38.360
<v Speaker 2>she's like, oh my god, I love your hair, Like

0:32:38.600 --> 0:32:41.000
<v Speaker 2>how I would love to make my hair look like that,

0:32:41.080 --> 0:32:43.440
<v Speaker 2>and your skin color is so beautiful and it like

0:32:43.520 --> 0:32:46.080
<v Speaker 2>irks hair. She's a black woman and it like irks her.

0:32:46.120 --> 0:32:48.200
<v Speaker 2>But so I'm curious, like, how would you feel if

0:32:48.200 --> 0:32:49.640
<v Speaker 2>somebody was saying that to you, which.

0:32:49.440 --> 0:32:51.280
<v Speaker 3>I don't like, woman, or I'm like, yeah, I know

0:32:51.360 --> 0:32:55.280
<v Speaker 3>it's bomb right, Yeah, you know, I want to genuinely

0:32:55.320 --> 0:32:57.800
<v Speaker 3>know that because I get it, like I get it,

0:32:57.880 --> 0:33:00.520
<v Speaker 3>like I get like, like I said, like, have interest

0:33:00.560 --> 0:33:02.680
<v Speaker 3>in something that doesn't look like what you have, like

0:33:03.240 --> 0:33:05.800
<v Speaker 3>noticing what's beautiful. I can see a very fair, fair, fair,

0:33:05.840 --> 0:33:08.240
<v Speaker 3>white white white, white woman with fair, fair eyes. My god,

0:33:08.320 --> 0:33:11.200
<v Speaker 3>like your eyes are fucking beautiful. You're beautiful. And I'm

0:33:11.240 --> 0:33:12.959
<v Speaker 3>not going to say I want that hair, but like

0:33:12.960 --> 0:33:15.160
<v Speaker 3>I want your skin. But I can acknowledge, and if

0:33:15.160 --> 0:33:18.240
<v Speaker 3>someone acknowledges me for you know, whatever, they can see

0:33:18.440 --> 0:33:20.400
<v Speaker 3>visually and think it's beautiful, Like, why would I be

0:33:20.440 --> 0:33:22.000
<v Speaker 3>offended by that? But I want you to pet me

0:33:22.080 --> 0:33:25.640
<v Speaker 3>in public? Like, oh right now, if I don't know you,

0:33:25.680 --> 0:33:26.280
<v Speaker 3>please don't pet me.

0:33:26.320 --> 0:33:27.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm not draped dog. But that comes down to people

0:33:27.880 --> 0:33:31.200
<v Speaker 2>touching your stomach when you're pregnant. Yeah, Just I think

0:33:31.240 --> 0:33:32.760
<v Speaker 2>a lot of like the woman who came up to

0:33:32.800 --> 0:33:35.800
<v Speaker 2>her probably was trying to relate to her. Yeah, and

0:33:35.840 --> 0:33:37.400
<v Speaker 2>I think a lot of that's where it comes from.

0:33:37.480 --> 0:33:40.200
<v Speaker 2>It's not really like I want to be you like

0:33:40.480 --> 0:33:43.360
<v Speaker 2>or like sometimes it is, but I think it's like

0:33:43.760 --> 0:33:45.840
<v Speaker 2>I think, as women, a lot of times, the way

0:33:45.920 --> 0:33:48.960
<v Speaker 2>we choose to relate is through beauty. It's you're complimenting,

0:33:49.280 --> 0:33:51.360
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, I love your earrings, all your lashes,

0:33:51.440 --> 0:33:53.640
<v Speaker 2>Oh my gosh, Like your skin is so beautiful. That's

0:33:53.720 --> 0:33:55.520
<v Speaker 2>just I don't know. I mean, I know why that

0:33:55.640 --> 0:33:58.360
<v Speaker 2>is is because you know, as women were taught that

0:33:58.480 --> 0:34:02.800
<v Speaker 2>like physicality is like kind of what validates us, you know,

0:34:03.240 --> 0:34:05.480
<v Speaker 2>and so you know that's that's I think. Well you

0:34:05.520 --> 0:34:07.600
<v Speaker 2>speak a smile on the person's face too, right when

0:34:07.600 --> 0:34:09.480
<v Speaker 2>people love, I mean people love, I mean I love

0:34:09.520 --> 0:34:12.759
<v Speaker 2>getting caught. Yeah, exactly. Sometimes I feel awkward, but you know, yeah,

0:34:12.800 --> 0:34:14.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to say, like, if no one ever

0:34:14.160 --> 0:34:17.000
<v Speaker 2>compliment me, complimented me again, I'd be no, yeah, I'd

0:34:17.040 --> 0:34:20.040
<v Speaker 2>be sad, you know. But I died, I got blue contacts,

0:34:20.080 --> 0:34:21.960
<v Speaker 2>dyed my hair blonde. As a kid, I wanted to

0:34:21.960 --> 0:34:25.480
<v Speaker 2>look like Texas. Wow, an awful photo, but yeah, you

0:34:25.600 --> 0:34:27.239
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean, Like I wanted to look like

0:34:27.280 --> 0:34:29.200
<v Speaker 2>a contact. I wanted to like the girls that were

0:34:29.239 --> 0:34:32.279
<v Speaker 2>around me. Yeah and me too, I want I wanted

0:34:32.280 --> 0:34:34.279
<v Speaker 2>to straighten my hair all the time. I wanted to

0:34:34.280 --> 0:34:36.759
<v Speaker 2>be skinny. I've always like had athletic build body, and

0:34:36.800 --> 0:34:39.640
<v Speaker 2>I was had a woman's body at like age twelve,

0:34:39.719 --> 0:34:42.160
<v Speaker 2>and all these girls, like their thighs didn't rubbed together,

0:34:42.360 --> 0:34:44.239
<v Speaker 2>and they were wearing these little cranky bees that my

0:34:44.239 --> 0:34:47.560
<v Speaker 2>ass couldn't fit into. And I was just like the

0:34:47.600 --> 0:34:50.120
<v Speaker 2>boys that of all my white school were never hitting

0:34:50.120 --> 0:34:52.920
<v Speaker 2>on me, and so I just felt left out. But

0:34:53.719 --> 0:34:56.520
<v Speaker 2>it's funny now because now it's like it's so interesting

0:34:56.600 --> 0:34:57.800
<v Speaker 2>now it's shifted.

0:34:57.760 --> 0:35:01.120
<v Speaker 3>And I know, do you okay, Like the guy who

0:35:01.200 --> 0:35:06.880
<v Speaker 3>we just talked about, who's like, is boldly stating his preference. Okay,

0:35:06.920 --> 0:35:10.120
<v Speaker 3>would you even though you understand where that route that's

0:35:10.200 --> 0:35:12.400
<v Speaker 3>rooted from, because obviously you're like a brown.

0:35:12.400 --> 0:35:14.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, and no, he's basically saying he's not attracted

0:35:14.920 --> 0:35:17.279
<v Speaker 2>to me. So does that? Does that? Like? How do you?

0:35:17.320 --> 0:35:18.719
<v Speaker 2>How do you take that? And like, would you date

0:35:18.719 --> 0:35:19.279
<v Speaker 2>a guy like that?

0:35:19.320 --> 0:35:21.400
<v Speaker 3>Because for me as a black man, if someone guys

0:35:21.440 --> 0:35:24.640
<v Speaker 3>like says comments like that, I assume you're ignorant, and

0:35:24.680 --> 0:35:26.440
<v Speaker 3>then I'm concerned, like what you're gonna teach our kids?

0:35:26.480 --> 0:35:28.560
<v Speaker 2>And I wouldn't we is he gonna? Does he want

0:35:28.560 --> 0:35:31.000
<v Speaker 2>to date you anyway? Because you're clearly not a type anyway,

0:35:31.239 --> 0:35:33.920
<v Speaker 2>I don't care or or this was gonna say, have

0:35:33.960 --> 0:35:34.360
<v Speaker 2>you ever.

0:35:34.239 --> 0:35:37.279
<v Speaker 3>Like I've met men who like, I've never dated a

0:35:37.280 --> 0:35:39.160
<v Speaker 3>black woman, but I'm so attracted to you.

0:35:39.280 --> 0:35:41.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I'm like surprised.

0:35:40.719 --> 0:35:42.960
<v Speaker 3>I mean, by the way, same thing, but that's not

0:35:43.080 --> 0:35:46.319
<v Speaker 3>that black Indian woman, Like, oh my god, I've never

0:35:46.400 --> 0:35:47.439
<v Speaker 3>been with an Indian girl.

0:35:47.560 --> 0:35:48.840
<v Speaker 2>But I'm not just not like, I don't take that

0:35:48.840 --> 0:35:50.880
<v Speaker 2>as a compliment. I think that you sound really stupid.

0:35:51.239 --> 0:35:53.920
<v Speaker 2>How do you sound spetishized? Yeah? Yeah yeah?

0:35:54.080 --> 0:35:57.759
<v Speaker 3>So like, would you date that guy with knowing his mentality,

0:35:57.800 --> 0:35:59.600
<v Speaker 3>knowing he is may still be attracted to you with

0:35:59.680 --> 0:36:00.520
<v Speaker 3>you're the exception?

0:36:00.680 --> 0:36:03.120
<v Speaker 2>How do you feel about that? So if I was

0:36:03.120 --> 0:36:05.799
<v Speaker 2>the exception but I knew his mentality in general, was

0:36:05.840 --> 0:36:12.280
<v Speaker 2>that way? My gut is saying yes, because I because

0:36:13.440 --> 0:36:18.000
<v Speaker 2>in my mind, I think the idea of beauty his

0:36:18.200 --> 0:36:20.920
<v Speaker 2>character if if if that kind of character bled through

0:36:20.920 --> 0:36:22.600
<v Speaker 2>to every other part of his life, then the answer

0:36:22.640 --> 0:36:24.920
<v Speaker 2>is no. But if it comes down to like, oh

0:36:24.960 --> 0:36:26.799
<v Speaker 2>I was attracted to this, but I'm actually into you,

0:36:26.880 --> 0:36:29.000
<v Speaker 2>it is kind of like showing the other side of

0:36:29.040 --> 0:36:32.280
<v Speaker 2>it or just make you feel more special. Maybe honestly,

0:36:32.320 --> 0:36:34.160
<v Speaker 2>I bet it is something twisted like that, but it

0:36:34.239 --> 0:36:37.359
<v Speaker 2>makes you feel like a little more like oh the rule.

0:36:37.760 --> 0:36:39.160
<v Speaker 3>But what I feel like, you guys go out and

0:36:39.160 --> 0:36:40.759
<v Speaker 3>you're like are together and then you like go to

0:36:40.840 --> 0:36:44.399
<v Speaker 3>the bet and he's like all these fair skinned Yeah

0:36:45.000 --> 0:36:47.719
<v Speaker 3>yeah you're right, Yeah, you're like dead. This is like

0:36:47.760 --> 0:36:50.279
<v Speaker 3>a therapy session. Suddenly you feel insecure. Yeah, would you

0:36:50.280 --> 0:36:51.200
<v Speaker 3>suddenly feel insecure?

0:36:51.400 --> 0:36:54.120
<v Speaker 2>Probably? That's a good point. The get back, I changed

0:36:54.120 --> 0:36:56.640
<v Speaker 2>my mind. Well, I mean not that you should. We

0:36:56.640 --> 0:36:58.839
<v Speaker 2>shouldn't feel incure. The ironic part about it is I'm

0:36:58.880 --> 0:37:01.799
<v Speaker 2>not attracted to him, right, So then it's and I'm

0:37:01.840 --> 0:37:03.839
<v Speaker 2>and I was just saying this. My whole life, I've

0:37:03.880 --> 0:37:06.239
<v Speaker 2>dated South Asian guys. I've only had two boyfriends, but

0:37:06.280 --> 0:37:08.480
<v Speaker 2>they're both Indian, and now I'm at a point where

0:37:08.520 --> 0:37:10.160
<v Speaker 2>i want to explore outside of that. But it's not

0:37:10.200 --> 0:37:12.080
<v Speaker 2>like I actually I'm just more saying it. For the

0:37:12.120 --> 0:37:14.759
<v Speaker 2>first time in my life, I'm being open minded. I'm

0:37:14.800 --> 0:37:17.600
<v Speaker 2>not it's like tough to say, like screw every Indian

0:37:17.640 --> 0:37:19.920
<v Speaker 2>guy out there, like that's not cool, right, But at

0:37:19.960 --> 0:37:22.080
<v Speaker 2>the same time, it's like I was trained my whole

0:37:22.120 --> 0:37:23.360
<v Speaker 2>life that I was supposed to be in with this

0:37:23.440 --> 0:37:25.160
<v Speaker 2>kind of person that looked like this, and our families

0:37:25.160 --> 0:37:26.640
<v Speaker 2>would be like this, And now I'm like, you know what,

0:37:27.760 --> 0:37:31.560
<v Speaker 2>like be nice, it doesn't matter, be a kind person. Yeah.

0:37:31.640 --> 0:37:34.839
<v Speaker 2>Speaking of that, and dating outside of your race, I

0:37:34.880 --> 0:37:37.520
<v Speaker 2>know another steria, like what I said in the stereotype

0:37:37.560 --> 0:37:39.239
<v Speaker 2>is that, yeah, dating outside of your race within the

0:37:39.239 --> 0:37:41.799
<v Speaker 2>Indian community is kind of like you don't do it,

0:37:42.200 --> 0:37:45.279
<v Speaker 2>and it's like scary to bring that guy home to

0:37:45.360 --> 0:37:50.000
<v Speaker 2>your parents. Ten years ago, my oldest cousin married an

0:37:50.040 --> 0:37:52.360
<v Speaker 2>Asian guy and it broke up our family. Like my

0:37:52.440 --> 0:37:54.520
<v Speaker 2>dad had seven brothers and most some of them didn't

0:37:54.520 --> 0:37:57.400
<v Speaker 2>show up. It was really rough, and I think just

0:37:58.000 --> 0:37:59.879
<v Speaker 2>she did it. She took one, she took the hit,

0:37:59.920 --> 0:38:01.920
<v Speaker 2>and now we have like four cousins who are marrying

0:38:01.920 --> 0:38:02.719
<v Speaker 2>outside of their race.

0:38:02.960 --> 0:38:04.880
<v Speaker 3>But I think so after that they'd come back together

0:38:05.360 --> 0:38:08.360
<v Speaker 3>once kids were involved, once there was grandkids, everyone was like,

0:38:08.400 --> 0:38:09.560
<v Speaker 3>you know what, at the end of the day, do

0:38:09.600 --> 0:38:10.040
<v Speaker 3>we want our.

0:38:10.040 --> 0:38:12.200
<v Speaker 2>Kids to not get it raised together? It's silly, but

0:38:12.600 --> 0:38:16.359
<v Speaker 2>they were so so stubborn about the fact that like, no,

0:38:16.520 --> 0:38:20.080
<v Speaker 2>this is not okay, so against go goes against our culture,

0:38:20.120 --> 0:38:21.920
<v Speaker 2>and especially her because she was the one that was

0:38:21.920 --> 0:38:24.239
<v Speaker 2>like doing the cultural dances as a kid and all

0:38:24.239 --> 0:38:27.480
<v Speaker 2>that stuff. But since then, it's it's just changed. I

0:38:27.480 --> 0:38:28.800
<v Speaker 2>think it's just progress.

0:38:28.920 --> 0:38:32.840
<v Speaker 3>Yeahs was she was she open to them now embracing

0:38:32.840 --> 0:38:34.440
<v Speaker 3>her kids. I mean like after they didn't show up

0:38:34.480 --> 0:38:35.759
<v Speaker 3>to her wedding because I would be better, Like you

0:38:35.760 --> 0:38:36.280
<v Speaker 3>didn't want.

0:38:36.120 --> 0:38:37.359
<v Speaker 2>To come to wedding, then you want to be around

0:38:37.400 --> 0:38:38.680
<v Speaker 2>my kids. I think at the end of the day,

0:38:38.680 --> 0:38:40.239
<v Speaker 2>when you have kids, all of it changes. Yeah, because

0:38:40.239 --> 0:38:42.120
<v Speaker 2>you're like better, Like fuck it.

0:38:42.120 --> 0:38:44.160
<v Speaker 3>It is important that like I'm going to look past

0:38:44.200 --> 0:38:46.040
<v Speaker 3>that you did this or whatever, and now we're in

0:38:46.080 --> 0:38:46.720
<v Speaker 3>a different space.

0:38:47.160 --> 0:38:51.000
<v Speaker 2>I mean I've been looking at like Priyanka and Nice like, oh, yeah,

0:38:51.120 --> 0:38:53.600
<v Speaker 2>so they recently just got married, and I was and

0:38:53.640 --> 0:38:56.360
<v Speaker 2>she's also older woman, and I was thinking about it.

0:38:56.400 --> 0:38:58.720
<v Speaker 2>She's older than him. I think, oh, yeah, late thirties

0:38:58.840 --> 0:39:01.439
<v Speaker 2>or yeah, four. I think there's a decade difference. Yeah,

0:39:01.480 --> 0:39:04.120
<v Speaker 2>she might be like forty. Wow that brown, don't frown.

0:39:04.680 --> 0:39:07.920
<v Speaker 2>She's beautiful. But I was thinking about that too. I mean,

0:39:08.040 --> 0:39:11.080
<v Speaker 2>she's she's much older, so maybe her family is kind

0:39:11.080 --> 0:39:13.880
<v Speaker 2>of just at this point, like and she's and she

0:39:13.880 --> 0:39:17.000
<v Speaker 2>has a successful career. I just wonder why you're rich. Yeah, well,

0:39:17.080 --> 0:39:20.040
<v Speaker 2>I was just wondering what her family was thinking because

0:39:20.040 --> 0:39:23.160
<v Speaker 2>she is older. You know. I think she has become

0:39:23.239 --> 0:39:25.720
<v Speaker 2>one of those leaders that's paving the way for other people.

0:39:25.800 --> 0:39:28.320
<v Speaker 2>And I think that there are just certain families that

0:39:28.360 --> 0:39:30.200
<v Speaker 2>are more open to that. And I feel like I'm

0:39:30.280 --> 0:39:32.200
<v Speaker 2>very grateful that my parents would be like that. Okay,

0:39:32.280 --> 0:39:35.000
<v Speaker 2>let me ask you a question. Okay, because obviously Nick

0:39:35.160 --> 0:39:39.640
<v Speaker 2>is white. Do you think that acceptance is easier.

0:39:39.280 --> 0:39:41.600
<v Speaker 3>When it's a white guy whereas like if it was

0:39:41.640 --> 0:39:43.920
<v Speaker 3>a black guy or Asian guy or a different guy.

0:39:43.920 --> 0:39:48.719
<v Speaker 2>Because I think sadly, yes, yes, there's a what is it?

0:39:48.840 --> 0:39:51.200
<v Speaker 2>I haven't heard this in so long, but as a kid, no,

0:39:51.320 --> 0:39:57.160
<v Speaker 2>BMW's black Muslim or white? Yeah, or black Mexican. No

0:39:57.280 --> 0:40:01.000
<v Speaker 2>is Muslim Muslim culturally Hindus and Musli back in the

0:40:01.080 --> 0:40:07.000
<v Speaker 2>day obviously, Yeah, so yeah, white, it's not on you know,

0:40:08.160 --> 0:40:10.120
<v Speaker 2>you don't think it's it's less of a big deal,

0:40:10.920 --> 0:40:12.800
<v Speaker 2>whereas if it was a black guy or an Asian

0:40:12.800 --> 0:40:15.560
<v Speaker 2>guy or meat or whatever. But I do think everything

0:40:15.640 --> 0:40:19.560
<v Speaker 2>is changing. But yes, growing up, yes, I wonder what

0:40:19.719 --> 0:40:22.799
<v Speaker 2>that is. I know it's white represents America, so it's

0:40:22.800 --> 0:40:25.080
<v Speaker 2>a little more acceptable. I think that a little bit

0:40:25.120 --> 0:40:28.920
<v Speaker 2>more because especially because in you know, culturally Indians like

0:40:28.960 --> 0:40:31.600
<v Speaker 2>they they I don't know. Yeah, it goes back to

0:40:31.640 --> 0:40:34.719
<v Speaker 2>British British colonizm yisation and then coming here and wanting

0:40:34.760 --> 0:40:37.080
<v Speaker 2>to live this American dream. And sometimes when that comes

0:40:37.120 --> 0:40:41.239
<v Speaker 2>with the white man. Yeah, and also that's how the validation,

0:40:41.360 --> 0:40:44.000
<v Speaker 2>because you were talking about like your father's version of

0:40:44.000 --> 0:40:46.479
<v Speaker 2>what the American dream is is like you know, having

0:40:46.520 --> 0:40:50.520
<v Speaker 2>a certain respect and does that respect within his community

0:40:50.560 --> 0:40:54.640
<v Speaker 2>or respect from American white people.

0:40:54.760 --> 0:40:58.239
<v Speaker 3>I think I think it's the latter. That's how you

0:40:58.320 --> 0:41:03.480
<v Speaker 3>are respected by white people. Well globally like white is right,

0:41:04.320 --> 0:41:07.040
<v Speaker 3>you know, it's like a global white supremacy exists in

0:41:07.120 --> 0:41:10.520
<v Speaker 3>all corners of the earth, you know, and as much

0:41:10.520 --> 0:41:12.880
<v Speaker 3>as it's changing, I think, like just like in the

0:41:12.880 --> 0:41:15.680
<v Speaker 3>Beauty Standard and the media and Disney and all this

0:41:15.760 --> 0:41:19.000
<v Speaker 3>other shit, like it's the same. It goes in all cultures,

0:41:19.040 --> 0:41:22.640
<v Speaker 3>even like Japanese women like they like like think they're

0:41:22.640 --> 0:41:23.120
<v Speaker 3>more beautiful.

0:41:23.120 --> 0:41:25.319
<v Speaker 2>I they're mixed with European just like black and black

0:41:25.320 --> 0:41:27.719
<v Speaker 2>culture like yeah she makes she got the hair, you know.

0:41:27.840 --> 0:41:30.399
<v Speaker 3>You know, like it's just like this weird taboo that

0:41:30.560 --> 0:41:32.640
<v Speaker 3>if you mix with white there's like some people.

0:41:32.480 --> 0:41:34.560
<v Speaker 2>That's why color doesn't exists in every community.

0:41:34.280 --> 0:41:36.759
<v Speaker 3>Exact right, because for sure, the lightest is the fair

0:41:36.880 --> 0:41:37.800
<v Speaker 3>is the most beautiful.

0:41:37.880 --> 0:41:41.080
<v Speaker 2>Even within India, North India versus South India. I'm South Indian,

0:41:41.120 --> 0:41:46.080
<v Speaker 2>we're considered to be less beautiful, less like intelligent because

0:41:46.080 --> 0:41:47.560
<v Speaker 2>North Indian beauty standards are.

0:41:47.480 --> 0:41:51.600
<v Speaker 3>What's considered beautiful because the North North Indian is more

0:41:51.680 --> 0:41:57.000
<v Speaker 3>like likely more fair. I know, such bullshit crazy, but

0:41:57.040 --> 0:41:59.719
<v Speaker 3>you're right, there's there's more. There's more commonalities than there

0:41:59.719 --> 0:42:02.520
<v Speaker 3>are differences. Yeah, and I think that's the cool thing.

0:42:02.560 --> 0:42:04.879
<v Speaker 3>But like nobody's talking about it. And I think it's

0:42:04.920 --> 0:42:06.560
<v Speaker 3>things like this that changes that, you know.

0:42:06.800 --> 0:42:08.719
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and even so, like when I grew up, I

0:42:09.280 --> 0:42:11.479
<v Speaker 2>didn't like my big eyes or my big brows because

0:42:11.480 --> 0:42:15.160
<v Speaker 2>that was these are very South Asian South Indian features.

0:42:15.880 --> 0:42:18.120
<v Speaker 2>Now I'm like obsessed with it, and that's just because

0:42:18.120 --> 0:42:21.560
<v Speaker 2>of progress and things are changing. Like I love having

0:42:21.640 --> 0:42:24.640
<v Speaker 2>big furry brows, you know, I love those brows, thank you.

0:42:24.960 --> 0:42:27.520
<v Speaker 2>But it took a long time to embrace them.

0:42:27.560 --> 0:42:31.560
<v Speaker 3>But it's funny how we are so influenced, like our

0:42:32.360 --> 0:42:36.919
<v Speaker 3>perception of ourselves is so heavily influenced by outside factors. Yeah,

0:42:36.960 --> 0:42:39.479
<v Speaker 3>and it's like it's so stupid because we're the only person.

0:42:39.520 --> 0:42:41.880
<v Speaker 3>We got to live and die in this body alone. Yeah,

0:42:41.920 --> 0:42:44.960
<v Speaker 3>so like why the fuck doesn't matter? But it's true.

0:42:45.600 --> 0:42:49.399
<v Speaker 2>Everyone wants to be accepted, loved, and that all comes

0:42:49.400 --> 0:42:52.719
<v Speaker 2>down to Unfortunately, at an esthetic level the first thing

0:42:52.760 --> 0:42:57.600
<v Speaker 2>people think about. And that's why I think, because I've

0:42:57.640 --> 0:42:59.680
<v Speaker 2>been having so much like I've been having this like

0:42:59.719 --> 0:43:02.480
<v Speaker 2>tug of war with social media lately and like feeling

0:43:02.560 --> 0:43:05.000
<v Speaker 2>like and I know, I know for sure you have,

0:43:05.120 --> 0:43:07.560
<v Speaker 2>which is probably part of the reason I'm assuming why

0:43:07.560 --> 0:43:10.360
<v Speaker 2>you would started tinted, because you can really create content

0:43:10.440 --> 0:43:14.680
<v Speaker 2>that is meaningful and in the world that you started in,

0:43:14.719 --> 0:43:18.200
<v Speaker 2>which is beauty and you know, YouTube tutorial, beauty hacks,

0:43:18.239 --> 0:43:20.600
<v Speaker 2>all that stuff that can start to feel so mundane,

0:43:21.040 --> 0:43:25.160
<v Speaker 2>so shallow, you feel so vain, like me posting, I'm

0:43:25.160 --> 0:43:29.120
<v Speaker 2>like hesitant to even post photos of myself now and

0:43:29.160 --> 0:43:31.719
<v Speaker 2>I really haven't really been posting photos of myself because

0:43:31.760 --> 0:43:34.960
<v Speaker 2>I feel so vain and at part of it was

0:43:35.320 --> 0:43:37.960
<v Speaker 2>part of for my vanity, and I think something's shifting

0:43:38.000 --> 0:43:41.279
<v Speaker 2>within me where I'm just like, I don't like, I

0:43:41.320 --> 0:43:43.640
<v Speaker 2>appreciate people commenting and saying, oh my god, you the

0:43:43.680 --> 0:43:45.840
<v Speaker 2>club pretty, the clip pretty, But then sometimes I'm like,

0:43:46.040 --> 0:43:47.879
<v Speaker 2>that was even my intent with the photo. I wrote

0:43:47.920 --> 0:43:51.960
<v Speaker 2>this beautiful long aption about self love and where I'm

0:43:52.000 --> 0:43:54.920
<v Speaker 2>at or I'm not feeling. I'm feeling like shit today

0:43:55.120 --> 0:43:58.520
<v Speaker 2>and all you saw was just like you're so pretty

0:43:59.040 --> 0:44:01.839
<v Speaker 2>and it's like, well, bitch stopping, like what you don't

0:44:01.840 --> 0:44:03.640
<v Speaker 2>appreciate that, and like no, I do, but it just

0:44:03.680 --> 0:44:06.920
<v Speaker 2>seems so you know, it's tough. It seems so shallow. Yeah,

0:44:06.960 --> 0:44:08.880
<v Speaker 2>and all the you know, photoshopping and all that stuff

0:44:08.920 --> 0:44:11.080
<v Speaker 2>that happens. It's like, I don't want to be the

0:44:11.120 --> 0:44:14.520
<v Speaker 2>person promoting that beauty standard. But sometimes when you work

0:44:14.520 --> 0:44:16.560
<v Speaker 2>with brands, that's what they're doing and it's like you're

0:44:16.680 --> 0:44:19.239
<v Speaker 2>the person behind it. That's why I just haven't been

0:44:19.280 --> 0:44:21.839
<v Speaker 2>as much anymore. I'm not I'm not. I don't wake

0:44:21.920 --> 0:44:23.920
<v Speaker 2>up excited about it. I don't feel motivated by it.

0:44:23.960 --> 0:44:26.120
<v Speaker 2>And I feel motivated by Tinted because we're trying to

0:44:26.200 --> 0:44:28.560
<v Speaker 2>change that standard. And like when you write these, like

0:44:28.560 --> 0:44:31.160
<v Speaker 2>you said, like now to me, I want to take

0:44:31.600 --> 0:44:34.080
<v Speaker 2>There's some things I have to do because A it

0:44:34.120 --> 0:44:37.080
<v Speaker 2>pays the bills, and b it creates a relevancy to

0:44:37.120 --> 0:44:39.439
<v Speaker 2>do what I'd care to do, which is Tinted talking

0:44:39.440 --> 0:44:42.560
<v Speaker 2>about my family and my like that your family is

0:44:42.640 --> 0:44:46.239
<v Speaker 2>fucking adorable, but the other thing are so embarrassed of them.

0:44:46.239 --> 0:44:47.840
<v Speaker 2>As a kid, right, Like I didn't want my friends

0:44:47.840 --> 0:44:50.160
<v Speaker 2>to come over my mom would wear a nid and

0:44:50.200 --> 0:44:52.520
<v Speaker 2>like be cooking chicken curry, and I have a very

0:44:52.600 --> 0:44:55.040
<v Speaker 2>distinct memory. I have a girlfriend coming over and coughing

0:44:55.120 --> 0:44:57.319
<v Speaker 2>and literally asking to leave because she couldn't handle the

0:44:57.320 --> 0:45:00.279
<v Speaker 2>smell of the food. And so I was so I

0:45:00.280 --> 0:45:02.160
<v Speaker 2>didn't want people to come over anymore. And I think

0:45:02.200 --> 0:45:04.520
<v Speaker 2>that is I'm not the only one who felt that way.

0:45:04.840 --> 0:45:07.360
<v Speaker 2>So what I can do now to show how incredible

0:45:07.400 --> 0:45:10.359
<v Speaker 2>it is to have parents as hardworking, dedicated to their

0:45:10.360 --> 0:45:12.839
<v Speaker 2>family as I had growing up. And if that can

0:45:12.920 --> 0:45:14.840
<v Speaker 2>change any other person's dynamic, that's what I want to

0:45:14.840 --> 0:45:17.480
<v Speaker 2>do more well, fucking yeah, way more than any selfie,

0:45:17.719 --> 0:45:20.680
<v Speaker 2>you know. But it's a balance. But before you started

0:45:20.760 --> 0:45:21.719
<v Speaker 2>lived Tinted.

0:45:23.480 --> 0:45:26.400
<v Speaker 3>In what ways, like, you know, coming into the beauty

0:45:26.400 --> 0:45:29.120
<v Speaker 3>industry and the social media whole situation, that's you know,

0:45:29.200 --> 0:45:32.000
<v Speaker 3>the beauty industry is not really weird for us.

0:45:32.239 --> 0:45:34.399
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, how like, in what ways did you feel that

0:45:34.920 --> 0:45:37.960
<v Speaker 2>I for Tinted. I knew I was the token brown

0:45:38.000 --> 0:45:40.720
<v Speaker 2>girl in beauty brand campaigns, Like whenever I was hired,

0:45:40.760 --> 0:45:42.839
<v Speaker 2>it was like I was the Indian girl, and then

0:45:42.840 --> 0:45:44.799
<v Speaker 2>there was a black girl and there's Latino girl. But

0:45:44.880 --> 0:45:47.680
<v Speaker 2>to be honest, it didn't bother me because I was like,

0:45:47.840 --> 0:45:50.080
<v Speaker 2>at least there is a token brown girl now, because

0:45:50.080 --> 0:45:51.680
<v Speaker 2>I was like, this is step one to making it

0:45:51.719 --> 0:45:54.120
<v Speaker 2>so eventually there's a lot of us. So the fact

0:45:54.120 --> 0:45:56.200
<v Speaker 2>that I was even included, that's how I thought about

0:45:56.200 --> 0:45:57.880
<v Speaker 2>it in my brain. But then I got to a

0:45:57.880 --> 0:46:00.280
<v Speaker 2>point where I was like, Wow, there's girls at different

0:46:00.320 --> 0:46:02.200
<v Speaker 2>ends of the spectrum, much darker than me and lighter

0:46:02.200 --> 0:46:05.840
<v Speaker 2>than me that haven't been showcased on these brand campaigns

0:46:05.840 --> 0:46:09.800
<v Speaker 2>either ever specifically darker than me, that like, you don't

0:46:09.840 --> 0:46:13.200
<v Speaker 2>find super melanin filled South Asian women in the media

0:46:13.239 --> 0:46:16.120
<v Speaker 2>at all. And that was that was our first post

0:46:16.200 --> 0:46:18.640
<v Speaker 2>four Tinted. That made me like so excited because it

0:46:18.680 --> 0:46:20.719
<v Speaker 2>was like so cool to find that girl, and it

0:46:20.840 --> 0:46:23.080
<v Speaker 2>was also really sad how hard it was to find

0:46:23.120 --> 0:46:26.120
<v Speaker 2>that girl. That's how I actually started kicking off Tinted.

0:46:26.160 --> 0:46:27.960
<v Speaker 2>I was going to make it a secret and curate

0:46:28.080 --> 0:46:30.240
<v Speaker 2>like a whole Instagram before doing it, but I couldn't

0:46:30.239 --> 0:46:32.000
<v Speaker 2>find that girl and we needed that photo, so I

0:46:32.040 --> 0:46:34.920
<v Speaker 2>just put on my Instagram stories use hashtag lived tinted

0:46:34.960 --> 0:46:37.000
<v Speaker 2>to show us beautiful South Asian women with a lot

0:46:37.120 --> 0:46:39.640
<v Speaker 2>like darker skin tone, and that's how we finally found

0:46:39.680 --> 0:46:40.800
<v Speaker 2>them because I kept.

0:46:40.560 --> 0:46:44.040
<v Speaker 3>Seeing and then you know they're there, Like you're there.

0:46:44.320 --> 0:46:48.000
<v Speaker 2>Maybe they don't have like one hundred thousand followers. Yeah,

0:46:48.080 --> 0:46:50.000
<v Speaker 2>they're like you know, they're just starting to build their

0:46:50.080 --> 0:46:52.640
<v Speaker 2>start starting to build their you know, following her community. Yeah.

0:46:52.800 --> 0:46:54.759
<v Speaker 2>We live in such a world where like we're we're

0:46:54.800 --> 0:46:57.239
<v Speaker 2>controlled by people's following, Like we don't. We only want

0:46:57.239 --> 0:46:58.800
<v Speaker 2>to work with you if you have this amount of

0:46:58.800 --> 0:47:01.440
<v Speaker 2>people that like you or that are liking your photos.

0:47:01.640 --> 0:47:03.840
<v Speaker 3>I know this even now post effecture and I'm like

0:47:03.880 --> 0:47:06.959
<v Speaker 3>it's so beautiful and I'm like, only got sixteen likes.

0:47:07.040 --> 0:47:09.279
<v Speaker 2>But I know we'd be lying to ourselves if we

0:47:09.280 --> 0:47:12.319
<v Speaker 2>didn't feel I'm a child and I need to grow

0:47:12.400 --> 0:47:14.400
<v Speaker 2>up because it's ridiculous. No, you become a slave to

0:47:14.920 --> 0:47:17.880
<v Speaker 2>like checking and looking and like why did this photo get?

0:47:18.040 --> 0:47:21.040
<v Speaker 2>These are analyzing. You become your own like analytics specialist,

0:47:21.200 --> 0:47:24.719
<v Speaker 2>like why did this photo get? Like I really like

0:47:24.760 --> 0:47:26.680
<v Speaker 2>this photo with that one, but obviously they like this

0:47:26.719 --> 0:47:28.359
<v Speaker 2>one more. So what you try to break it down?

0:47:28.360 --> 0:47:30.799
<v Speaker 2>Like I need to post more content like this so

0:47:30.840 --> 0:47:33.000
<v Speaker 2>that you know what is like this? What does this mean?

0:47:34.000 --> 0:47:36.560
<v Speaker 2>I really believe this, and I feel like we have

0:47:36.600 --> 0:47:39.439
<v Speaker 2>to believe this now. The only like, the only way

0:47:39.480 --> 0:47:41.640
<v Speaker 2>to get it go against that is like doing starting

0:47:41.640 --> 0:47:43.480
<v Speaker 2>this podcast, you guys are doing in posting content that

0:47:43.520 --> 0:47:46.680
<v Speaker 2>matters to you, because otherwise we're all everyone's just going

0:47:46.760 --> 0:47:50.000
<v Speaker 2>to keep doing selfies. It's going to take the same right, same,

0:47:50.080 --> 0:47:52.880
<v Speaker 2>it's the same shirt. If I see one more like

0:47:53.040 --> 0:47:56.279
<v Speaker 2>selfie next to like a white marble wall with like

0:47:56.320 --> 0:47:59.680
<v Speaker 2>a pink light pink sweatshirt and oh my god, like

0:48:01.160 --> 0:48:04.759
<v Speaker 2>kneeling down like with like one you know, the kneel down, Yeah,

0:48:04.840 --> 0:48:06.160
<v Speaker 2>like you're praying or some shit.

0:48:06.360 --> 0:48:08.880
<v Speaker 3>I got like really hot, look that all the girls

0:48:08.880 --> 0:48:10.680
<v Speaker 3>are doing that. I'm not good at it all.

0:48:11.280 --> 0:48:13.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but like I was saying, like if you if

0:48:13.000 --> 0:48:15.800
<v Speaker 2>I see one more folk girl posing in a certain position,

0:48:16.560 --> 0:48:19.279
<v Speaker 2>perfect color scheme. And don't get me wrong, there are

0:48:19.320 --> 0:48:22.200
<v Speaker 2>instagrams that I follow because I really love how curated. Yeah,

0:48:22.480 --> 0:48:25.319
<v Speaker 2>like I like organization. It makes me feel happy when

0:48:25.360 --> 0:48:27.319
<v Speaker 2>I look at it. Yeah, but then sometimes I'm like,

0:48:27.360 --> 0:48:29.880
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, this picture this is the same one

0:48:29.920 --> 0:48:31.759
<v Speaker 2>that I saw on the last instagram I was on,

0:48:31.800 --> 0:48:33.200
<v Speaker 2>and the last one, the last one of the last

0:48:33.239 --> 0:48:36.440
<v Speaker 2>one is just like that's why I've been so hesitant

0:48:36.480 --> 0:48:39.160
<v Speaker 2>to post. Like it's been like it's actually been nice

0:48:39.600 --> 0:48:41.840
<v Speaker 2>because for a while I was like feeling like I

0:48:41.880 --> 0:48:43.640
<v Speaker 2>have to post, I have to post today. I wantly

0:48:43.719 --> 0:48:46.359
<v Speaker 2>posted once, Yeah I didn't post yesterday, buck like same,

0:48:46.640 --> 0:48:50.600
<v Speaker 2>and it's it becomes overwhelming, and I know longer in

0:48:50.640 --> 0:48:53.200
<v Speaker 2>creating content or posting unless there's a message behind it

0:48:53.280 --> 0:48:55.520
<v Speaker 2>rather than just the photo. So even if people are

0:48:55.520 --> 0:48:56.920
<v Speaker 2>going to say you're so pretty or so pretty, at

0:48:57.000 --> 0:48:59.200
<v Speaker 2>least I know that, like my message behind the photo

0:48:59.360 --> 0:49:02.920
<v Speaker 2>is bigger than the aesthetic aspect. It's tough. I mean,

0:49:03.000 --> 0:49:06.560
<v Speaker 2>let's be real, Like people people do follow me for

0:49:06.760 --> 0:49:09.759
<v Speaker 2>makeup tips for South Asian girls, so like it's you

0:49:09.840 --> 0:49:12.399
<v Speaker 2>also don't want to like go against the reason why

0:49:12.440 --> 0:49:15.000
<v Speaker 2>all these people started following you, you know so, But

0:49:15.080 --> 0:49:17.040
<v Speaker 2>now I'm just like adding in the content that really

0:49:17.040 --> 0:49:19.640
<v Speaker 2>motivates me and gets me excited. In addition to that

0:49:20.040 --> 0:49:26.120
<v Speaker 2>the balance that is beautiful. Do you post? I realize

0:49:26.360 --> 0:49:28.440
<v Speaker 2>I do, Yeah, post, I do post a lot. She

0:49:28.480 --> 0:49:30.520
<v Speaker 2>gets the most Well, of course that's what I was

0:49:30.520 --> 0:49:33.200
<v Speaker 2>gonna ask you guys, Like obviously that would get the

0:49:33.239 --> 0:49:36.840
<v Speaker 2>most likes because they're freaking adorable. But are you protective

0:49:36.920 --> 0:49:39.919
<v Speaker 2>or worried in any way that, Like, sometimes I'm more

0:49:40.000 --> 0:49:43.080
<v Speaker 2>worried that I don't want her to become that I

0:49:43.080 --> 0:49:45.400
<v Speaker 2>don't want her to because we're in this world of

0:49:45.400 --> 0:49:47.480
<v Speaker 2>social media and I can only imagine where it's going

0:49:47.520 --> 0:49:50.560
<v Speaker 2>to go, like more and more and more access, access,

0:49:50.600 --> 0:49:54.319
<v Speaker 2>access that I don't want her to feel like she

0:49:54.520 --> 0:49:56.920
<v Speaker 2>has to she has to be that way, or she

0:49:56.960 --> 0:49:59.520
<v Speaker 2>has to be a certain way, or you know. And

0:49:59.760 --> 0:50:02.160
<v Speaker 2>so that's the one thing I don't really I don't

0:50:02.200 --> 0:50:04.799
<v Speaker 2>think anyone's gonna come get my kid or I'm not

0:50:04.880 --> 0:50:06.759
<v Speaker 2>like famous, so I've been bringing out a fat where

0:50:06.800 --> 0:50:09.239
<v Speaker 2>she goes to school. Or maybe if I was, i'd

0:50:09.280 --> 0:50:12.279
<v Speaker 2>have I'd think twice about it. But or just like

0:50:12.280 --> 0:50:14.040
<v Speaker 2>if somebody said like a rude I can't imagine the

0:50:14.120 --> 0:50:16.160
<v Speaker 2>rude comments I've had someone say rud com like, of

0:50:16.239 --> 0:50:20.600
<v Speaker 2>course these people you don't know, right, but actually know

0:50:20.680 --> 0:50:23.560
<v Speaker 2>you had someone who said a rude comment to someone recently?

0:50:23.719 --> 0:50:25.960
<v Speaker 2>Oh actually, yeah, I had someone who I used to

0:50:25.960 --> 0:50:29.680
<v Speaker 2>be friends with and what was it.

0:50:29.719 --> 0:50:31.960
<v Speaker 3>Oh, well, she was basically judging your parenting and like

0:50:32.040 --> 0:50:35.160
<v Speaker 3>putting it on your mommy shaming and of course the

0:50:35.160 --> 0:50:37.040
<v Speaker 3>person is not a kid.

0:50:37.520 --> 0:50:39.880
<v Speaker 2>I my, oh my god, so stupid.

0:50:40.239 --> 0:50:42.879
<v Speaker 3>My client has a ship for pull in her living room,

0:50:43.400 --> 0:50:46.440
<v Speaker 3>and of course, like it's fun everybody wants to try it,

0:50:46.600 --> 0:50:47.600
<v Speaker 3>including Luna.

0:50:47.760 --> 0:50:50.600
<v Speaker 2>And it looks like, oh, that's so funny. It looks

0:50:50.600 --> 0:50:51.320
<v Speaker 2>like a playground.

0:50:51.320 --> 0:50:53.680
<v Speaker 3>There's actually pulls at the playground, if anyone would take

0:50:53.719 --> 0:50:57.560
<v Speaker 3>fucking notice. And of course she wasn't wearing clear heels

0:50:57.600 --> 0:51:00.200
<v Speaker 3>in a bikini. I didn't put her in that off

0:51:00.200 --> 0:51:03.600
<v Speaker 3>for that day, but it was on Instagram, and it's like,

0:51:03.640 --> 0:51:04.920
<v Speaker 3>you know, you're teaching her to tour.

0:51:05.320 --> 0:51:06.680
<v Speaker 2>You're teaching her like I like.

0:51:06.640 --> 0:51:09.239
<v Speaker 3>I hope that, like I pray that she doesn't come

0:51:09.320 --> 0:51:11.160
<v Speaker 3>out a certain way because you know, you're putting her

0:51:11.160 --> 0:51:12.719
<v Speaker 3>Instagram a certain way. And you know what I had

0:51:12.760 --> 0:51:14.720
<v Speaker 3>to do. These are people I've known a long time.

0:51:14.960 --> 0:51:19.120
<v Speaker 3>And the funny thing is the mom. Okay, the mom

0:51:19.719 --> 0:51:21.640
<v Speaker 3>I'm friends with the girl, we used to be friends,

0:51:21.640 --> 0:51:23.719
<v Speaker 3>but I'm also friends with her mom. And the mom

0:51:23.760 --> 0:51:26.720
<v Speaker 3>made a comment. But the girl was actually a career stripper,

0:51:27.320 --> 0:51:29.120
<v Speaker 3>so I don't think she Maybe she was projecting on

0:51:29.160 --> 0:51:31.560
<v Speaker 3>me because her daughter actually became a stripper. But my

0:51:31.640 --> 0:51:35.120
<v Speaker 3>daughter's three, and she has no concept of stripping or

0:51:35.640 --> 0:51:38.360
<v Speaker 3>the like the club, and I just thought, like, I

0:51:38.400 --> 0:51:40.680
<v Speaker 3>don't like, I hate and I think this happens a

0:51:40.680 --> 0:51:44.160
<v Speaker 3>lot like when adults project like innocent, like project their

0:51:44.200 --> 0:51:47.560
<v Speaker 3>adulthood on innocent children that have no no scope of

0:51:47.600 --> 0:51:51.239
<v Speaker 3>these things. And it's just like, don't sexualize my child, right,

0:51:51.520 --> 0:51:54.239
<v Speaker 3>there's nothing sexual about this situation. She's three, she has

0:51:54.239 --> 0:51:55.719
<v Speaker 3>no idea what that means, and I don't like the

0:51:55.719 --> 0:51:58.640
<v Speaker 3>projection of it and my whole there's pervs out there,

0:51:58.719 --> 0:52:00.759
<v Speaker 3>and one thing I'm being on I don't live my

0:52:00.800 --> 0:52:04.640
<v Speaker 3>life in fear of other people, of just general big fear,

0:52:04.719 --> 0:52:08.319
<v Speaker 3>like obviously I'm precautious, but pers are at the park,

0:52:08.560 --> 0:52:09.759
<v Speaker 3>you know, pers are at the mall.

0:52:10.080 --> 0:52:11.960
<v Speaker 2>Pers are probably at your family reunion.

0:52:12.520 --> 0:52:15.960
<v Speaker 3>So I can't, like, I'm not like covering her face

0:52:16.040 --> 0:52:18.320
<v Speaker 3>or every little thing on Instagram because that's like I

0:52:18.360 --> 0:52:21.360
<v Speaker 3>don't think and I'm not thinking my life based on

0:52:21.400 --> 0:52:22.200
<v Speaker 3>pers You can't.

0:52:22.200 --> 0:52:23.600
<v Speaker 2>That's exhausting. It's exhausting.

0:52:23.640 --> 0:52:25.560
<v Speaker 3>It's perfs everywhere you know, you never know who those

0:52:25.600 --> 0:52:28.799
<v Speaker 3>people are, but I have to, like I blocked all

0:52:28.800 --> 0:52:32.480
<v Speaker 3>those people because it's just like I was getting rouled

0:52:32.560 --> 0:52:35.080
<v Speaker 3>up about it, but I realized I'm super free spirited,

0:52:35.080 --> 0:52:37.600
<v Speaker 3>I'm super hippie, I'm super naked, I'm super comfortable with

0:52:37.640 --> 0:52:39.360
<v Speaker 3>my body. And it's not an attention thing, it's not

0:52:39.400 --> 0:52:41.399
<v Speaker 3>a sexual thing. It's just who the fuck I am.

0:52:41.760 --> 0:52:44.440
<v Speaker 3>And my daughter is going to know that. She's going

0:52:44.520 --> 0:52:46.399
<v Speaker 3>to know me best more than anyone else. And if

0:52:46.400 --> 0:52:49.120
<v Speaker 3>you don't know me, then you don't get to comment

0:52:49.200 --> 0:52:51.200
<v Speaker 3>on my parenting or me. And if you don't have

0:52:51.320 --> 0:52:52.600
<v Speaker 3>like positive like.

0:52:52.800 --> 0:52:54.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't think there could be any more hurtful thing

0:52:54.640 --> 0:52:57.600
<v Speaker 2>than somebody targeting your parents. Oh no, there's not. There's

0:52:57.680 --> 0:53:00.600
<v Speaker 2>no crushcause it's like this person knows you, So call

0:53:00.680 --> 0:53:02.920
<v Speaker 2>me and talk to me. Yeah, don't don't put it

0:53:02.960 --> 0:53:05.200
<v Speaker 2>on social media for other people to judge and then

0:53:05.280 --> 0:53:07.560
<v Speaker 2>wonder that what you're talking about and then they're looking

0:53:07.600 --> 0:53:09.640
<v Speaker 2>at you like maybe she is that way. I mean

0:53:09.680 --> 0:53:11.560
<v Speaker 2>she is naked all the time, like she does you know,

0:53:11.640 --> 0:53:13.719
<v Speaker 2>you just start, well, when is she teaching her child

0:53:14.040 --> 0:53:15.960
<v Speaker 2>to love her fucking body? You know?

0:53:16.160 --> 0:53:18.720
<v Speaker 3>And so I mean, don't it's going for someone's jugular

0:53:18.760 --> 0:53:20.760
<v Speaker 3>when you comment to my parents, sa ay, you're coming

0:53:20.800 --> 0:53:22.680
<v Speaker 3>at me, And like if you're a friend or out

0:53:22.680 --> 0:53:24.600
<v Speaker 3>of love, you're gonna be like, look, girl, I'm gonna

0:53:24.600 --> 0:53:26.440
<v Speaker 3>call you because I'm concerned.

0:53:26.480 --> 0:53:28.239
<v Speaker 2>What do you feel about this? Whatever, there's a way you.

0:53:28.920 --> 0:53:34.000
<v Speaker 3>Like you you come at someone, but if it's not positive,

0:53:34.000 --> 0:53:35.279
<v Speaker 3>it's not happy. I had to, like, I had to

0:53:35.280 --> 0:53:36.839
<v Speaker 3>make the conscious decision I'm not gonna get mad. I'm

0:53:36.840 --> 0:53:38.319
<v Speaker 3>not gonna give the energy. I'm gonna cut you off

0:53:38.360 --> 0:53:40.480
<v Speaker 3>because I'm not going to give you answers because it's

0:53:40.520 --> 0:53:42.480
<v Speaker 3>my child and it's my and I know I'm raising

0:53:42.480 --> 0:53:43.840
<v Speaker 3>her right and I know I'm raising her in a

0:53:43.880 --> 0:53:47.040
<v Speaker 3>safe space. So I mean, you know, it's inevitable that

0:53:47.080 --> 0:53:48.680
<v Speaker 3>our kids, that's our prize possession.

0:53:48.680 --> 0:53:50.319
<v Speaker 2>We're gonna fucking take pictures with them, We're going to

0:53:50.320 --> 0:53:51.040
<v Speaker 2>post it. They're great.

0:53:51.400 --> 0:53:54.440
<v Speaker 3>But like people are gonna have opinions about everything, your outfit,

0:53:54.520 --> 0:53:56.319
<v Speaker 3>how you raise your kids, everything, So like you have

0:53:56.400 --> 0:53:58.440
<v Speaker 3>to either be comfortable in who you are and what

0:53:58.480 --> 0:54:01.600
<v Speaker 3>you are and what you're projecting and or or not.

0:54:01.719 --> 0:54:03.000
<v Speaker 3>And because I'm comfortable in and it and I know

0:54:03.040 --> 0:54:05.000
<v Speaker 3>I'm doing the right thing, and I don't tolerate it,

0:54:05.080 --> 0:54:06.960
<v Speaker 3>you know, so fuck makes sense.

0:54:07.040 --> 0:54:09.480
<v Speaker 2>But for me, I haven't I haven't really the only

0:54:09.520 --> 0:54:11.480
<v Speaker 2>time I've ever seen anyone leave a bad comment and

0:54:11.520 --> 0:54:13.319
<v Speaker 2>has been on her father's page, and that's because he

0:54:13.360 --> 0:54:15.239
<v Speaker 2>has a lot more followers than I do about it,

0:54:15.320 --> 0:54:17.920
<v Speaker 2>and you know, just people just bored talking shit. But

0:54:18.560 --> 0:54:21.239
<v Speaker 2>it enrages me. It totally enrages me because it's like

0:54:21.440 --> 0:54:24.640
<v Speaker 2>she's an innocent child, right, like she doesn't it can't

0:54:24.640 --> 0:54:27.319
<v Speaker 2>even defend yourself. But I mean, that's the world we

0:54:27.400 --> 0:54:30.280
<v Speaker 2>live in. I'm sure you get crazy comments on your stuff.

0:54:30.400 --> 0:54:32.800
<v Speaker 2>It never bothers me if they say anything about me physically,

0:54:32.880 --> 0:54:35.839
<v Speaker 2>like whatever, oh you're not pretty or that something like that.

0:54:35.880 --> 0:54:37.960
<v Speaker 2>Like that doesn't bother me. I have a self confidence

0:54:38.000 --> 0:54:40.319
<v Speaker 2>in like my appearance and stuff. It bothers me when

0:54:40.360 --> 0:54:43.520
<v Speaker 2>they attack like my work ethic, Like she only posts

0:54:43.560 --> 0:54:45.879
<v Speaker 2>like one YouTube video week, nobody has any idea what's

0:54:45.880 --> 0:54:48.399
<v Speaker 2>happening behind the scenes for live hinted and like that.

0:54:48.680 --> 0:54:51.000
<v Speaker 2>It irks me to set somebody to say, there's this

0:54:51.320 --> 0:54:53.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't even want to give it. Maybe we'll cut

0:54:53.160 --> 0:54:55.400
<v Speaker 2>this part out, but there's this Reddit threat about me

0:54:55.680 --> 0:54:57.400
<v Speaker 2>that was like what do you think about deep with Yalla?

0:54:57.440 --> 0:54:59.280
<v Speaker 2>And I got like I got like a Google alert

0:54:59.280 --> 0:55:03.279
<v Speaker 2>about it, and it was just going in about like

0:55:03.840 --> 0:55:06.239
<v Speaker 2>my privilege and I the thing is, like, I'm very

0:55:06.320 --> 0:55:08.279
<v Speaker 2>aware of the privileges I have in like I did

0:55:08.280 --> 0:55:11.120
<v Speaker 2>not grow up poor, but I also didn't grow up

0:55:11.120 --> 0:55:13.480
<v Speaker 2>to be this super super rich like, so I know

0:55:13.520 --> 0:55:16.040
<v Speaker 2>where I fall in my privileges, and I'm very self aware.

0:55:16.080 --> 0:55:17.719
<v Speaker 2>I think that's one thing about all of us that

0:55:17.760 --> 0:55:19.640
<v Speaker 2>we're very self aware people.

0:55:20.200 --> 0:55:21.840
<v Speaker 3>And I know what I have and I don't have

0:55:21.920 --> 0:55:23.719
<v Speaker 3>and things like that. But I also worked really hard

0:55:23.760 --> 0:55:26.120
<v Speaker 3>for like so much of this that like, don't take

0:55:26.120 --> 0:55:26.600
<v Speaker 3>it away from it.

0:55:26.800 --> 0:55:30.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And also a lot of it was brown people,

0:55:30.440 --> 0:55:32.279
<v Speaker 2>and it's like I would think that they would want

0:55:32.320 --> 0:55:34.560
<v Speaker 2>to help support me the most, to help me keep

0:55:34.600 --> 0:55:38.040
<v Speaker 2>going and keep fighting. And to read that crushed me

0:55:38.280 --> 0:55:40.359
<v Speaker 2>because I was like, you have no idea how hard

0:55:40.360 --> 0:55:42.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm working. And you know, of course there's parts like

0:55:42.400 --> 0:55:46.000
<v Speaker 2>brand trips and things like that that are lavish, lavish,

0:55:46.200 --> 0:55:48.839
<v Speaker 2>but nobody I'm editing at three in the morning and

0:55:48.880 --> 0:55:51.520
<v Speaker 2>like not sleeping at night because I'm thinking about things

0:55:51.560 --> 0:55:53.720
<v Speaker 2>that I need to still get done and I'm trying

0:55:53.719 --> 0:55:55.680
<v Speaker 2>to like pitch investors and like things like that. Is

0:55:55.680 --> 0:55:58.200
<v Speaker 2>like nobody has any idea. But anyways, at the end

0:55:58.200 --> 0:55:59.480
<v Speaker 2>of the day, that's an insecurity in me that I

0:55:59.480 --> 0:56:01.640
<v Speaker 2>have to get over not care because I know what

0:56:01.640 --> 0:56:04.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing. We're all we all have some degree of insecurity,

0:56:04.640 --> 0:56:06.960
<v Speaker 2>and you know what. I like, I told Erica.

0:56:07.080 --> 0:56:10.640
<v Speaker 3>Because we had like one thread one time too, and yeah,

0:56:10.960 --> 0:56:12.239
<v Speaker 3>if we don't, you know, you're doing the right thing.

0:56:12.239 --> 0:56:14.919
<v Speaker 2>If you don't have no haters, so you know, brush

0:56:14.960 --> 0:56:17.520
<v Speaker 2>and brush them off. Yeah. Yeah, we had a threat

0:56:17.520 --> 0:56:19.960
<v Speaker 2>about our parenting. I was like what, And then I

0:56:20.000 --> 0:56:23.840
<v Speaker 2>was like, Okay, let me come down. We're famous because

0:56:23.920 --> 0:56:26.319
<v Speaker 2>I know I'm a good parent. Yeah, and it's like,

0:56:26.560 --> 0:56:29.239
<v Speaker 2>you don't even know you're not here yeah, like, and

0:56:29.280 --> 0:56:32.600
<v Speaker 2>you're probably not even a parent. So my kid's fucking amazing.

0:56:33.120 --> 0:56:35.719
<v Speaker 2>And he listened to all of our episodes, Like this

0:56:35.760 --> 0:56:38.560
<v Speaker 2>person was listening to all like commented on episode four

0:56:39.320 --> 0:56:41.400
<v Speaker 2>and that episode seven. I like, so you listened to

0:56:41.440 --> 0:56:43.480
<v Speaker 2>all my episodes and then you went on a blogged

0:56:43.480 --> 0:56:48.320
<v Speaker 2>into a website to then talk about It's just insane. Yeah.

0:56:48.560 --> 0:56:51.360
<v Speaker 2>It just makes me feel really really special. Thank you

0:56:51.400 --> 0:56:51.879
<v Speaker 2>so much.

0:56:52.040 --> 0:56:54.520
<v Speaker 3>Well, I'm really grateful to be able to have this

0:56:54.680 --> 0:56:56.960
<v Speaker 3>time with you and talk to you this is so good.

0:56:57.080 --> 0:57:01.520
<v Speaker 3>It was really good. I feel therapy. There's those like therapy, podcasting, therapeutic.

0:57:01.600 --> 0:57:05.520
<v Speaker 2>Girl. Yeah, we're like, we're smart, we're women. Yeah, we're

0:57:05.520 --> 0:57:08.160
<v Speaker 2>thinking about what we're saying. You just need to get

0:57:08.160 --> 0:57:10.360
<v Speaker 2>the conversations out and just say them out loud. I

0:57:10.400 --> 0:57:12.640
<v Speaker 2>think conversations do you have with yourself that maybe you

0:57:12.680 --> 0:57:14.640
<v Speaker 2>don't you forget to have with friends or you know,

0:57:14.719 --> 0:57:18.080
<v Speaker 2>you just don't totally. And so thank you, Yeah, thanks

0:57:18.080 --> 0:57:22.240
<v Speaker 2>for having me, for joining us, for educating me. Yeah,

0:57:22.520 --> 0:57:25.480
<v Speaker 2>educating Tamila and me too. I mean, I don't know,

0:57:25.520 --> 0:57:27.720
<v Speaker 2>I don't know the history of Bendie's and all that either,

0:57:27.920 --> 0:57:30.160
<v Speaker 2>So I'll definitely I'm not that I wear them, but

0:57:30.760 --> 0:57:32.680
<v Speaker 2>I'll definitely think twice before I see one at the stoor.

0:57:33.040 --> 0:57:36.480
<v Speaker 2>Stick it on the board. But anyway, you can find

0:57:36.560 --> 0:57:41.880
<v Speaker 2>Deepica at I care about Tinted at Tinted Yeah, say

0:57:41.920 --> 0:57:44.160
<v Speaker 2>them off, I know, and then it's my name at Deepaka.

0:57:44.560 --> 0:57:46.920
<v Speaker 2>But you should follow Tinted. Honestly, I think a lot

0:57:46.920 --> 0:57:49.560
<v Speaker 2>of our followers are brown, yeah, black, and we do

0:57:49.640 --> 0:57:56.160
<v Speaker 2>have like some Caucasian followers. Hey, Nellie whatever, girl. And

0:57:56.240 --> 0:57:59.000
<v Speaker 2>but that's the point, no discriminating nostill tell you yeah,

0:57:59.000 --> 0:58:03.200
<v Speaker 2>and her her pages all awesome highlights, amazing, amazing women.

0:58:03.200 --> 0:58:07.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm not just saying that because I was on bomb.

0:58:09.680 --> 0:58:11.880
<v Speaker 2>But anyway, we will catch you guys next time.

0:58:12.120 --> 0:58:16.160
<v Speaker 3>Enjoy your week, and we have an event on December twelfth.

0:58:16.160 --> 0:58:19.080
<v Speaker 3>We're having cocktails. You should come to where Century City?

0:58:19.360 --> 0:58:22.720
<v Speaker 2>Oh bitch, what it's in? Culver City? Okay, Culver City.

0:58:23.000 --> 0:58:25.600
<v Speaker 2>You know Century City is like a mall. I'm a

0:58:25.720 --> 0:58:28.120
<v Speaker 2>vale bra. I don't they have the same thing to

0:58:28.520 --> 0:58:31.840
<v Speaker 2>It's corner door Culver City. Check out our Instagram. Actually,

0:58:31.880 --> 0:58:34.440
<v Speaker 2>check out the our bio because the link to our

0:58:34.480 --> 0:58:36.720
<v Speaker 2>event right is in there. So come hang out. We

0:58:36.800 --> 0:58:40.400
<v Speaker 2>have a special drink, good mom's drink, so cocktail, call

0:58:40.480 --> 0:58:43.720
<v Speaker 2>the cocktail. It's a good Monse cocktail. Sorry, good Monse cocktail.

0:58:43.760 --> 0:58:45.480
<v Speaker 2>You know it's gonna be tequila based because that's what

0:58:45.560 --> 0:58:55.280
<v Speaker 2>we drink. Anyway, we'll catch you next time, and bye bye.

0:58:55.320 --> 0:58:56.160
<v Speaker 1>You got to.

0:58:58.440 --> 0:59:04.040
<v Speaker 2>Go down. Just the tri says to love, the mine.

0:59:04.440 --> 0:59:11.040
<v Speaker 1>Sends to leave you, man, So you decide it's true.

0:59:13.960 --> 0:59:16.400
<v Speaker 1>Never gain anything.