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Speaker 1: It's to me, there was no rules. You came out

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Speaker 1: of the blue, barding myself from mornings. Grasses, dumb, dumb

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Speaker 1: with mornings never hit you look so cute esmen's suggesting

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Speaker 1: me the stars, something.

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Speaker 2: New, Welcome back, guys, good mom's bad choices. I'm Erica

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Speaker 2: and I'm Mila, and we have a really special guest today.

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Speaker 2: I'm really excited to have her, my friend Deepaka. Yeah

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Speaker 2: that was really good. I knew it. I'm like so

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Speaker 2: honored to be here when I'm not like a mom.

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Speaker 2: You know, we have a lot of non mom guests.

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Speaker 2: Oh really, yeah, we have like dad and not dad

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Speaker 2: male guests. I mean we had like three moms, no,

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Speaker 2: three people with children in general, so you're not the first.

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Speaker 2: And a lot of our listeners aren't moms. Okay cool, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: just regular thanks, regular peeps. But yeah, I'm so happy

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Speaker 2: you're here. Deepica, is I have admired you for a

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Speaker 2: long time? Think No, honestly, I mean she's my friend

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Speaker 2: and she's worked with our brand before. Yeah, but Deepica

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Speaker 2: is like a serious business woman and a hustler, and

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Speaker 2: she's young and she's like killing it and just when

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Speaker 2: you want something, you go after it, and that's she'll

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Speaker 2: have more friends like her. Thank you, I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 2: but it's vice versa, right, Like, I mean, it's one

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Speaker 2: of those things that I feel like you try to

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Speaker 2: keep company around you of people that like bring out

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Speaker 2: the best to you. Absolutely, that's like our whole motto. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: the company you keep. And I's obsessed with your daughter

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Speaker 2: and mom. I mean, it's the whole family. If you're

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Speaker 2: not familiar with Deep because though she you know, she's

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Speaker 2: an influencer. She has a brand called Tinted, which is amazing.

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Speaker 2: It kind of caters to brown women and women all

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Speaker 2: in between that are basically not being They don't really

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Speaker 2: get the prison barn and represent representation and beauty and

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Speaker 2: just in the world in general. But I think pretty

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Speaker 2: much beauty. Yeah, it's the focus of the conversation is

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Speaker 2: beauty because I don't think people, to me, at least

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Speaker 2: in the Internet world right now, beauty is portrayed in

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Speaker 2: one very specific way, and it's so much deeper. It's

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Speaker 2: so much deeper than what you see at the surface level.

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Speaker 2: And what I'm realizing is we keep calling it tinted

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Speaker 2: across cultural beauty platform because we're recognizing, like the commonalities

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Speaker 2: we have across different cultures to talk about those things,

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Speaker 2: and actually we just did that earlier, you know, and

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Speaker 2: it's like, I probably have lipstick over my teeth, but wow,

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Speaker 2: that's good over But the idea of appropriating and appreciating

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Speaker 2: those conversations, we're having real, honest, raw convos about that

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Speaker 2: and people are learning. When we started, it was just

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Speaker 2: gonna be, to be honest, like a South Asian platform,

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Speaker 2: because to me, it was like within women of color

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Speaker 2: and minority representation and beauty, I saw black and I

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Speaker 2: saw Latina, and I didn't see myself, and that obviously

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Speaker 2: it was like a step forward, but it bothered me

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Speaker 2: that I didn't see myself. But as we started posting

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Speaker 2: people on the page that were South Asian, other cultures

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Speaker 2: would chime in and be like, I have facial hair

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Speaker 2: issues too, I have hyper pigmentation too, and it's like, wow,

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Speaker 2: you know what, there's actually more commonalities between it than

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Speaker 2: we realize. So it's pretty dope because honestly, I'm learning

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Speaker 2: as we go, and I think each time we post,

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Speaker 2: I'm learning more and more. Wow, Like there really is

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Speaker 2: things that connect us that nobody's really talking about. Because

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Speaker 2: we're so busy discussing our own individual cultural like beauty concerns. Right,

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Speaker 2: it's interesting anyways, it's been like so fulfilling. Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 2: it's what you're doing is amazing. I love your tanst

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Speaker 2: series of honored to have been at to say, you

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Speaker 2: gotta watch her. I'm honored to have been a part

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Speaker 2: of it. But your story is dope. And I think

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Speaker 2: that's the thing, is like the idea of you to

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Speaker 2: know is like we need to be talking about the

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Speaker 2: stories that no one else is telling, which is what

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Speaker 2: I feel like you guys are doing on this too. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think a lot of times women and I think

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Speaker 2: a lot of times moms feel alone. They don't feel like,

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Speaker 2: you know, they can be women anymore. They feel like

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Speaker 2: they have to stop having the conversations they had before

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Speaker 2: having children, or maybe they never even have those conversations

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Speaker 2: to begin with. And you know that a lot of

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Speaker 2: people that reach out to us are like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: like that happened to me, or I'm so glad that

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Speaker 2: you feel that way. I thought I was the only

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Speaker 2: one that wanted to kick my child in the head,

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Speaker 2: like I'm that crazy. I thought, Well, I don't get

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Speaker 2: how you do it, because I love being like the

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Speaker 2: auntie who like comes in and like gets to hang

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Speaker 2: with the Yeah, pulls up on sugar and then you're like, hey,

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Speaker 2: I get hugs and cuddles and I bounce. Yeah. The

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Speaker 2: not this tough stuff. The twenty four to seven is

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Speaker 2: it gets pretty intense. Yeah, I think moms are super women.

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Speaker 2: Like it does it. It blows my mind. I don't

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Speaker 2: understand how you do it all. It's like once you

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Speaker 2: have become a mom, like there's no return. You can't

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Speaker 2: you can't take it back, you know, like, oh, here's

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Speaker 2: the proceed I'm good.

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Speaker 3: It didn't work out for me. It's very fucking permanent.

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Speaker 3: So you know, I'm thinking this is going right into it.

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Speaker 2: But I've been talking about freezing my eggs and I

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Speaker 2: tried to talk about it with why you're so young,

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Speaker 2: but because I know it's I know my life right

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Speaker 2: now and starting tinted and like I'm not going on dates,

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Speaker 2: I'm not meeting dudes, like it's not happening anytime soon.

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Speaker 2: And I have friends who are in their mid thirties

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Speaker 2: that are like, just do it now because they're they're

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Speaker 2: regretting not doing it. My best friend.

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Speaker 3: Can you not freeze your eggs past a certain age? No,

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Speaker 3: I think it's just that they're prime right now. So

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Speaker 3: like if she called me twa, I, oh girl, I

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Speaker 3: mean no, my my thirty year old friend is like

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Speaker 3: she's talking to anyone. She's like, I think I'm gon

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Speaker 3: phrase my eggs. I'm not telling me to do it,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like.

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Speaker 2: I think it's because I probably don't.

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Speaker 3: That's my friend, that's that's my that's me interpreting how

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Speaker 3: my friend talks. Like and then yeah, all my workers

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Speaker 3: are telling me it's the time my eggs a prime

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Speaker 3: right now. I'm not even dating anybody, and I think

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Speaker 3: you're so fucking young, you're crazy. But it's also we

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Speaker 3: live in LA. Everybody's doing it and body's fly's nice.

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Speaker 2: But it's okay. This is how I think about it.

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Speaker 2: And now I'm gonna sound like a friend, but it

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Speaker 2: feels like an insurance policy of like the last thing

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Speaker 2: I would want is to not be able to have children.

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Speaker 2: And that's why I said, like, you may.

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Speaker 3: Have issues and you don't even want to You don't

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Speaker 3: even want to encounter those issues and have any issues

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Speaker 3: that I see.

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Speaker 2: How sad my girlfriends are right now trying and they're like,

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Speaker 2: I'm telling you, just do it. It's like a very

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Speaker 2: small cost and the larger scale of life to not

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Speaker 2: just do it if you truly know you want to

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Speaker 2: have kids.

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Speaker 3: You know, this is like I wanted to talk about

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Speaker 3: this on a different episode, but I'm happy here because

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Speaker 3: this is a thing Like, obviously me and Erica have kids,

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Speaker 3: but my best friend we grew up together, are the

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Speaker 3: best friend. But we me and her and both have

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Speaker 3: kids and one doesn't. So I constantly see online like

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Speaker 3: when she's posting our kids, like when's your turn?

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Speaker 2: When are you going to have a baby? Oh? Who

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Speaker 2: you know?

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Speaker 3: And I think it's so disrespectful because I know women

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Speaker 3: who can't have kids.

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Speaker 2: I know women who are trying, and people don't know what.

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Speaker 3: If a if people want to fucking have kids, right,

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Speaker 3: it's not this mandatory thing you have over rage you

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Speaker 3: must give birth, yeah, and be like after like twenty seven,

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Speaker 3: you're not supposed to just fucking shoot out kids. It's

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Speaker 3: not how like that. Everyone's not on the same schedule. So, like,

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Speaker 3: do you feel like a lot of pressure and from

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Speaker 3: your culture, your community. I know you're a huge in

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Speaker 3: like your social social media and stuff.

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Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I mean on all of those layers. I

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Speaker 2: grew up in Texas, so everyone I know has like

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Speaker 2: three children and like is yeah, like got married right

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Speaker 2: out of college and linked it that way. But then

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Speaker 2: being Indian, that's the next layer of it where my

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Speaker 2: parents like since birth were like trying to figure out

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Speaker 2: who from the same village we grew up in I

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Speaker 2: was going to.

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Speaker 3: End up with.

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Speaker 2: And the ironic part is I ended up dating a

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Speaker 2: dude that like organically because I think I wanted that

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Speaker 2: so bad because you knew that because I wished without

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Speaker 2: even realizing it trained to thinking like that's what I wanted.

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Speaker 2: And so between those two things, layers were like for

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Speaker 2: sure there, but I am at the point now I

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Speaker 2: will not ask a woman that because you never know. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's so rude. It's so rude. Yeah, and I don't think.

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Speaker 3: People mean to do it that way, but yeah, but

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Speaker 3: it does show like how backwards our society is. And

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Speaker 3: there's so many things that need to change, even just

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Speaker 3: in general conversation, right, Like women are not fucking machines, right,

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Speaker 3: and come twenty ninth birthday, you're not supposed to be impregnated.

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Speaker 3: You know, you're not supposed to just have a husband.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't work that way.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, but when I think about a husband versus kids,

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Speaker 2: I get so much more excited thinking about having a

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Speaker 2: daughter than a man, which is like but that, but

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Speaker 2: that's also like annoying and stupid too, right, It's like

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to try to sit here and pretend

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Speaker 2: like I don't want to ever. I mean, we've talked

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Speaker 2: about this before. It's like, I that would be a

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Speaker 2: lie to pretend and say like I don't. It's not

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Speaker 2: that I need one, but it would. I would like

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Speaker 2: to have one, right right right? And you will? You will? Yeah? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Do your are your parents in your ass right now?

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Speaker 2: About it? So it's weird because my mom is like

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Speaker 2: the one who sets up every Indian girl in town.

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Speaker 2: But oh she is so the matchmaker. She has like

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Speaker 2: three successful weddings. Wow yeah, but also so do I.

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Speaker 2: I've introduced three people that I got married, but I'm

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Speaker 2: not myself and she doesn't pressure me. But my sister

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Speaker 2: just got married this year. I was like a thousand people,

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Speaker 2: beautiful wedding, fifteen days long, like it was. It was

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Speaker 2: a true like Hindu ceremony wedding. Yeah, girl, we do

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Speaker 2: have amazing weddings, like saying it's such a cool celebration,

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Speaker 2: but yeah, it just happened this year, so she's not

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Speaker 2: fully on it. But the other Oh my god. Last

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Speaker 2: time I saw her, she came and gave me the

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Speaker 2: biggest hug and she was like, I'm just so worried

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Speaker 2: about you. And I was like, why, I think I'm

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Speaker 2: doing pretty well, like I'm living my dreams, blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: She's like, I just know girls like you you're just

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Speaker 2: gonna work for the rest of your life and never

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Speaker 2: find a man. And just like I was like, all right,

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Speaker 2: now this is getting extra. Do we need to choose?

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Speaker 3: You have to choose like Choericles versus a husband. I

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Speaker 3: mean that kind of brings us start.

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Speaker 2: I think I think a lot of it has to

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Speaker 2: do with culture too, and like I think also, you know,

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Speaker 2: your parents are like they're ready for grandkids. They're like

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Speaker 2: I'm ready, Like I'm bored, my kids are out of

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Speaker 2: the house. Me and my husband have like had our time.

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Speaker 2: Now we're ready. They're like empty nest syr. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: like we're ready to know you have a little person

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Speaker 2: come in here and you know, spoil them and stuff.

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Speaker 2: But I think cultural you're right, yeah, and like I mean,

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Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know a lot about your culture,

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Speaker 2: but like and I just know like what the stereotypes are, right,

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Speaker 2: like Indian Indian. Let me tell you what. Let me

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Speaker 2: tell you what. I yeah, tell you because I can

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Speaker 2: totally be wrong. Yeah, but that, Yeah, there's a lot

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Speaker 2: of arranged marriages that you know, their families want their

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Speaker 2: children to be like highly educated doctors, lawyers, you know,

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Speaker 2: heads of hedge funds, whatever that might be marrying within

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Speaker 2: your you know, your race and your culture and what else. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean, you nailed like all the realityky, So the

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Speaker 2: reality are arranged marriage. My sister is a doctor. I

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Speaker 2: have forty first cousins. They're all doctors and like being educated.

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Speaker 2: This is how I think about my dad's mentality is

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Speaker 2: he wants his kids to have the American dream. But

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Speaker 2: his definition of the American dream is very different from

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Speaker 2: my definition. To him, the American dream is having respect

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Speaker 2: in America, and having respect in America means being very educated,

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Speaker 2: and being educated in his mind is a doctor. So

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Speaker 2: it like trickles down. But for me, I'm more like

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Speaker 2: I want to create a path for people that hasn't

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Speaker 2: been created for me. That's my American dream. So there's

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Speaker 2: this conflict between his mentality and mind that we have

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Speaker 2: all the time. But I think I get it at

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Speaker 2: the same time, Like they came here with nothing, like

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Speaker 2: my dad like was in India in a village like

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Speaker 2: literally in rice fields, and then to come to that

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Speaker 2: and then give his daughter like all this opportunity. Like

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Speaker 2: so I get their mindsets, but they also need to

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Speaker 2: like listen to us, and finally I realize you get

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Speaker 2: to a certain age where your parents finally are like

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Speaker 2: you know what, like maybe they do know some things

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Speaker 2: to teach us, which feels really good, Like I feel

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Speaker 2: like y'all are going to trip out when you're done,

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Speaker 2: Like you know when they say that to you and

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Speaker 2: they're like wait, wait, like your kids are teaching you.

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Speaker 2: I feel like that daily. Really yeah, now I do

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Speaker 2: feel like that. I think maybe it's attach your mom.

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Speaker 2: I think it's hard. I think the generation that our

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Speaker 2: parents grew up, that's something that you don't really you

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Speaker 2: can't it's hard to acknowledge. Yes, Whereas I think now

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Speaker 2: we're like Millennis and I feel like we are a

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Speaker 2: little bit more open to the idea of like this

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Speaker 2: hierarchy between children and parents, and like, I know everything

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Speaker 2: you learn from me, where like I think, I think

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Speaker 2: I look forward to I reteaching me things. She's taught

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Speaker 2: me so many things about patience. You know, she's taught

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Speaker 2: me how to love in a different way too, you know,

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Speaker 2: like really taking care of someone and loving them unconditionally.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think it's innate within me, because you know,

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Speaker 2: you're they're they're like this little person that comes from

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Speaker 2: you to just kind of love them un conditionally. But

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Speaker 2: there's times where I'm like, oh my god, and I

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Speaker 2: can't imagine, like as a teenager, like her disappointing me

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Speaker 2: and like or doing something terrible. I mean, we've had

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Speaker 2: an episode where we talked about like what if your

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Speaker 2: parents said he is like a serial killer? Like how

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Speaker 2: do you like? Yeah, like is it unconditional? Like what then?

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Speaker 2: You know? And I think it is even then, Like

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Speaker 2: I've been watching I've been watching I've been watching id

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Speaker 2: ID TV, and like there's been all these serial killer

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Speaker 2: like Jeffrey Dahmer, like When the Parents The Parents. There's

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Speaker 2: a series called When Kids Killed No I've seen that one,

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Speaker 2: but the parents that I noticed are always like it

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Speaker 2: was such a good one. Like, I don't know, they're

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Speaker 2: all in denial.

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Speaker 3: I just like traditionally, because Jeffrey Dahmer was like killing animals,

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Speaker 3: there must be something deep rooted to all of that though,

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Speaker 3: right killer. I think the fucked up part is is

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Speaker 3: that there is some deep rooting and a lot of

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Speaker 3: times people who like have like our fucked up adults

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Speaker 3: have had really dark, weird childhoods. But I think also

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Speaker 3: sometimes people just come through us and that has really

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Speaker 3: nothing to do with anything, like it's just mental. I

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Speaker 3: think some I think Jeffrey Dahmer was just like something

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Speaker 3: was wrong. Like I just think sometimes we're just a

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Speaker 3: vessel and people are coming through and we.

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Speaker 2: Got to kind of like take it.

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Speaker 3: No, I agree with that too, And I don't know

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Speaker 3: what the lesson in having a serial killer child would be, but.

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Speaker 2: Please God, don't let it be me. No. But so yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean this going back to what we were talking about,

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Speaker 2: like the stereotypes of you know, your culture, I mean,

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Speaker 2: they're real, I mean, and it's not something that's even

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Speaker 2: so the idea of arranged marriages I think is so

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Speaker 2: fascinating because I wouldn't. My parents describe this to me

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Speaker 2: recently and they were like, it wasn't forced. We were

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Speaker 2: introduced and like we hit it off. It's just weird

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Speaker 2: because it's in within forty eight hours. You're like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you hit it off in forty eight hours. They just

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Speaker 2: had this chemistry. But the divorce rate for people who

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Speaker 2: have arranged marriages is so much lower because like it's

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Speaker 2: I do you think also, because divorcing is like, yes,

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Speaker 2: oh of course that's a huge part of it, but

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Speaker 2: it's more like they make it work, they stick it out.

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Speaker 2: I am very I have a completely different take on that.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, if you're not happy, get out of it

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Speaker 2: and enjoy the rest of your life. But in general, yeah,

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Speaker 2: like a divorce is so taboo. But arranged marriages, like

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Speaker 2: I tell my parents now, I'm like, I would think

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Speaker 2: my mom and dad would want nothing like an amazing

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Speaker 2: guy for me, so I'm like, sure, introduce me. I'm

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Speaker 2: not against it. But then they end up being like

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Speaker 2: the great blah blah blah. They come from a great family,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, is it going to be the family

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Speaker 2: and me when I'm seventy or is it going to

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Speaker 2: be me and him? And it's cool because my dad

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Speaker 2: gets that. He's very like I actually asked him about

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Speaker 2: my ex boyfriend, do you what do you think about us?

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Speaker 2: And do you think I should marry him? And he said,

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Speaker 2: why are you asking me this? He's like, I don't

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Speaker 2: want you to ever look back and resent me because

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Speaker 2: of a decision that you made because of me. And

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Speaker 2: that was like a crazy thing for an Indian dad. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: say that's pretty progressive. Oh my god, he is. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think he's just realized now through trial and error

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Speaker 2: with us. Yeah, my sister went to India for med

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Speaker 2: school and it was like something that when I was

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Speaker 2: in high school, we broke up our families, so like

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Speaker 2: in the sense of my mom went there to go

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Speaker 2: stay with her while I was here being raised by

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Speaker 2: my dad. And that kind of moment is something that

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Speaker 2: we always have this sort of regret as a family.

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Speaker 2: So I think after that happened, he was like, this

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Speaker 2: is their lives and their decisions, not mine to make

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Speaker 2: for any my daughter, which is cool. So when you

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Speaker 2: have kids, yeah, are.

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Speaker 3: You gonna would you are you for arranging in a

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Speaker 3: marriage for your daughter or would you not do that.

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Speaker 2: I think introducing I'm down to introduceing like you must

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Speaker 2: marry this man. Absolutely not. And I don't think my

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Speaker 2: parents would even do that to me, like introducing like

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Speaker 2: your parents just have like a young homies like and

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Speaker 2: their friends have kids. I guess that's true. I'm just like,

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Speaker 2: who are the meetings? I feel like when I go

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Speaker 2: to any city, like, people are like, oh, when you

352
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Speaker 2: moved to LA from New York, like, did you know

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Speaker 2: a lot of people? And I was like, I feel

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Speaker 2: like the thing about being Indian is you have a

355
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Speaker 2: built in network in any city you go to, Oh

356
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Speaker 2: my mom will call blah blah blah auntie and blah

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Speaker 2: blah blah uncle, and everyone's auntie and uncle and it's

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Speaker 2: and I'm good, like I feel I really do feel

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Speaker 2: like I have people who are like family here because

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Speaker 2: of that built a network, which is dope. Like to

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Speaker 2: have that in your culture so beautiful. I think that's

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Speaker 2: something that we don't have in our culture, really I do.

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Speaker 3: I mean, first of all, I think, like black people,

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Speaker 3: everybody's your auntie and your uncle and your cousin.

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Speaker 2: True. I guess that's true in a way.

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Speaker 3: And if I go like I mean not everywhere, but

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Speaker 3: like if I go said where, my dad's like, oh,

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Speaker 3: let me call my friend.

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Speaker 2: I think my friends out there. He may pick you

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Speaker 2: up from the airport. Okay, exactly met him when he

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Speaker 2: was too hold on, let me go Exactly. I don't

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Speaker 2: want George to pick me up, but I remember him

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Speaker 2: from an almost too, like, don't worry, don't work. But

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Speaker 2: you know you're right. I guess you're right. And my

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Speaker 2: dad does know someone anywhere to like help me with something, right, Yeah, exactly,

376
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Speaker 2: you need to beat up. Give me a second. Were

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Speaker 2: you at having a thousand people at your your daughter's wedding.

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Speaker 2: It's like it's it's insane. But at the same time

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Speaker 2: I think, I think, yeah, I think we have that,

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Speaker 2: but I think he has for sure, like like I

381
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Speaker 2: don't have a thousand people to invite. No, I don't

382
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Speaker 2: know that. I don't have a thousand people.

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Speaker 3: The Indian community is very tight. It's very tight. It's

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Speaker 3: very tight knit. It's very family oriented and I respect

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Speaker 3: and I've really I'm trying to get in.

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Speaker 2: If your mom knows any homies for me, yeah, I'm down.

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Speaker 2: I have a cousin he's yeah, let's introduce Okay, I'm selling.

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Speaker 2: I know, and Indian would be the most beautiful. I

389
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Speaker 2: don't know. I just I do Indian A bile Indian

390
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Speaker 2: Indian girl. I don't know that many.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Eric's phone is singing because has your airplane mode?

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Speaker 2: She doesn't listen you. I well, A, I don't know

393
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Speaker 2: that many Indian people that date outside of their race. Yep.

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Speaker 3: If I ever have talked to like an Indian guy

395
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Speaker 3: or usually I said this whole time, if I did

396
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Speaker 3: anyone outside of race, I'm like, what are your parents

397
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Speaker 3: going to think about me? But I mean, even though

398
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Speaker 3: I know Indian culture doesn't look this way, like feel

399
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Speaker 3: this way, I kind of feel like Indian and Black

400
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Speaker 3: are close.

401
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Speaker 2: I know me too well.

402
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Speaker 3: I mean, I just I just feel like I wouldn't

403
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Speaker 3: think it'd be that big of a deal. Why do

404
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:53,400
Speaker 3: you think it's close? Melanin same? But I don't think

405
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Speaker 3: that is the common feeling. No, it's probably not. I know,

406
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Speaker 3: I mean, and I know culturally it's totally different things.

407
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Speaker 3: I mean, Indian people have like way more unity and culture.

408
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Speaker 3: I mean, I think that's what Black African Americans lack

409
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Speaker 3: in general, which I think sucks and we need more

410
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Speaker 3: of that. So I end like even like in a

411
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Speaker 3: lot of different cultures, there's a lot more unity. It's

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Speaker 3: funny you say that because I would have thought the opposite.

413
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Speaker 3: Really it's see and I'm I'm I guess so complating

414
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Speaker 3: it to media and it seems like there's so many

415
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Speaker 3: like black women coming together in the media being like

416
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Speaker 3: we can all win, we can all come together. And

417
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Speaker 3: I think that that's like really dope, and you're not

418
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,359
Speaker 3: seeing that as much in the South Asian side, which

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Speaker 3: I hope did exist. But also you also just don't

420
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Speaker 3: see South Asian people.

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Speaker 2: That's what I was gonna say. Well, that's what I

422
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,320
Speaker 2: was gonna say. You just don't see. The numbers just

423
00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:37,440
Speaker 2: aren't there yet, right, But I think I was talking

424
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:40,360
Speaker 2: to you about this is like our culture just isn't

425
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Speaker 2: social media active. And that's that sucks for me because

426
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Speaker 2: right like I'm trying to throw my social following and

427
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,119
Speaker 2: like build, but we're just not social media allowed. But

428
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,280
Speaker 2: you guys are a pioneer. You're going to be You're

429
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,200
Speaker 2: going to like bring that out or you're going to

430
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,960
Speaker 2: let some other girl on South Asia be like, oh

431
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,720
Speaker 2: I can do this too. I mean, I hope to you.

432
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,720
Speaker 2: I see you doing it, and I know it exists.

433
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,359
Speaker 2: But it's because we're trained to not be like you

434
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,320
Speaker 2: know what I mean. We're changed to study and like

435
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,439
Speaker 2: have our voice kind of be like it's it's private.

436
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,160
Speaker 2: We don't know about this open legs, keep it. We keep. Yeah,

437
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,600
Speaker 2: we keep our business to ourselves and we don't share,

438
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,520
Speaker 2: you know, just deal with it with the family and

439
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:14,359
Speaker 2: get through it. You know.

440
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,919
Speaker 3: I think that's Black people have secret not secretive, but

441
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,240
Speaker 3: like our problems are our problems.

442
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,760
Speaker 2: You don't talk about your family problems with other people. Yeah,

443
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,960
Speaker 2: but that's but but that's the only that's the a

444
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 2: Black people love to be on a camera. Yeah, just

445
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:30,000
Speaker 2: showing out dancing, doing the makeup. Oh my god, that's typical.

446
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:31,879
Speaker 2: But it's kind of true. We're lou We're loud and

447
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:35,680
Speaker 2: beautiful and proud saying that South Asians aren't. It's just culturally,

448
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:39,280
Speaker 2: you guys have you know, been taught to be you know, reserved,

449
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,639
Speaker 2: slowly changing because of like just im medium now with

450
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 2: Pria Choper's out there, Mindy Kale's like things like that.

451
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:47,560
Speaker 2: It's slowly happening, but slowly.

452
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 3: That is true though, because I mean, it's all stereotypes, honestly,

453
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,200
Speaker 3: because there's going to be a loud everybody.

454
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,160
Speaker 2: And a quiet everybody. Yeah.

455
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 3: But yeah, when I think of it now, like when

456
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,080
Speaker 3: I think of like Indian women or like women I've known,

457
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:00,960
Speaker 3: or if I meet us certain type of Indian woman,

458
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 3: like I have a client, she's like real loud and

459
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,679
Speaker 3: real like boisterous, I'm real like you, and I'm like,

460
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:07,200
Speaker 3: oh I never okay girl.

461
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:11,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, or like this is gonna.

462
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,520
Speaker 3: Sound really fucked up, but like like a hoochie Indian woman,

463
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,320
Speaker 3: like I have a friend who's fand with hoocci. I'm like,

464
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:17,960
Speaker 3: this is not supposed to not supposed to be the

465
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,520
Speaker 3: Succi You're like confused.

466
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, who are you? But we're also like

467
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 2: do you see our Indian outfits? I know, right, yeah yeah,

468
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 2: so that's the ironic part about it all. But like

469
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 2: we were talking about earlier, it's like I love seeing

470
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 2: other people where our outfits. Like when you come to

471
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 2: an Indian wedding wearing a sari, I think that's like

472
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,200
Speaker 2: a beautiful thing. It's like celebrating our culture, yeh, because

473
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,560
Speaker 2: you're there to celebrate the culture anyway. Yeah, so can

474
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:40,959
Speaker 2: we talk. Yeah, what are you talking about? Okay?

475
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:45,000
Speaker 3: So I always wear Bendi's because I like them. I

476
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,680
Speaker 3: like like face jewelry. I don't know why, I just do.

477
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,359
Speaker 3: I like hair jewelry and feathers in my hair. And

478
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,359
Speaker 3: today I wore a Bindi and you know what, I've

479
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 3: never thought twice about it ever, Like ever, Like I

480
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,360
Speaker 3: go out, I wear all the time. I get compliments

481
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 3: and I just think because I really I like, get

482
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 3: Hannah on my hands.

483
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,919
Speaker 2: I like that. So today I came and she's like,

484
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 2: I don't take that off? And I was like, is it?

485
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,920
Speaker 2: Is it? Am I culture appropriating? It's like culture, nothing else,

486
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 2: but nothing else gets to people that are like Indian people,

487
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,720
Speaker 2: South Asian people. But seeing that because that's a symbol

488
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 2: of Hinduism specifically and not a fashion statement, and there

489
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,720
Speaker 2: has been in the past people who have used it

490
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 2: as a fashion statement, and because the meaning isn't there,

491
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:27,520
Speaker 2: the education isn't there, is frustrating.

492
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:29,439
Speaker 3: And I had no idea. So I'm one of those

493
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,880
Speaker 3: people because now you know. But that's why these things

494
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 3: are so important.

495
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 2: But I mean, I can't worar them anymore. Well, I

496
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:39,720
Speaker 2: would say, Jamila that you are a very pinionated person

497
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:43,959
Speaker 2: when it comes to other people appropriating Black culture. So

498
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 2: it's like when it relates to you, you can't be like, well, no, no,

499
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:52,239
Speaker 2: I'm totally here to listen. Well I know you are,

500
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 2: I just say. And we were having this conversation too,

501
00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 2: like why is it? Because I feel like a lot

502
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 2: of times, as black women, we don't feel like we

503
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,840
Speaker 2: can a cultural We don't like we can culturally appropriate

504
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 2: something because our culture has been appropriated so much that

505
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 2: we forget that there's other cultures out there that, like,

506
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,119
Speaker 2: you know, like the like the Bindi or or I

507
00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:13,520
Speaker 2: don't even know, I can't like I can't think of it,

508
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,359
Speaker 2: or like the Geisha or even someone else. Like actually,

509
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:18,359
Speaker 2: I was at the beauty Blender office and one of

510
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:21,680
Speaker 2: someone who works there, I was like, I loved this

511
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 2: dress and it was kind of like that, you know,

512
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:25,439
Speaker 2: like like it's not Geisha, but you know it's like

513
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:30,119
Speaker 2: the flower blossom. Yeah, yeah, pins over And I was like,

514
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,919
Speaker 2: is this cute? And she was and I was like,

515
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 2: and I asked her, I was like, would you be

516
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,320
Speaker 2: offended if I wore this? And she said yes, wow,

517
00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 2: And I was like, wow, it's and I'm wondering if

518
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,879
Speaker 2: she would have been offended ten years ago, because I

519
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 2: feel like in the last ten years it's become or

520
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:47,639
Speaker 2: even five years. It's just because everything is so sensitive.

521
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,119
Speaker 2: I think I don't know if she would I would,

522
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 2: And my guess is that maybe not. And my guess too,

523
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 2: like I'm not if I probably wouldn't have been offended

524
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 2: by things ten years ago too, that I'm offending. I'm

525
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,960
Speaker 2: now too. It's just because we're just being educate, hated more. Yeah,

526
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:03,720
Speaker 2: and social media, yeah, everything is.

527
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:05,880
Speaker 3: But you know what I think, Like as much as

528
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:07,960
Speaker 3: I am like super pro black and like I am

529
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:11,359
Speaker 3: very opinionated on my blackness and other people's opinions on

530
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,120
Speaker 3: blackness and blah blah blah, one thing I will say.

531
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:17,400
Speaker 2: Is I don't really like I don't get offended.

532
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:18,919
Speaker 3: Like if a girl is wearing a head wrap and

533
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 3: a dai shiki girl boom, you're with it.

534
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 2: I'm with it. You know, I'm team Rachel Dolaza.

535
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,720
Speaker 3: Like I think I think there's intention if you're just

536
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 3: being ignorant and dumb, like if you're trying to like appropriate,

537
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 3: like I think, like I get bothered by like like

538
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:33,720
Speaker 3: I said, like I don't care if a girl has

539
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:35,959
Speaker 3: braids and you're white, or you're blue or you're purple.

540
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 3: But like, if you're a white woman and you're wearing

541
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 3: braids because you think that this represents.

542
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,359
Speaker 2: Being black, or you're like, yeah, Nikat, or you think

543
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,719
Speaker 2: more black men are you're going to try more black men,

544
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:45,920
Speaker 2: that's my issue.

545
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 3: If you're like, I really like this hairstyle, just like

546
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 3: I'm like, I really like I really like Hannah, and

547
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:52,920
Speaker 3: I really like wearing bendies because I think they're beautiful

548
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 3: and I think the culture is beautiful and I have

549
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 3: respect for the culture. And it's not like I'm trying

550
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 3: to take or emulate. It's just like something small that

551
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 3: I a piece that I think is cool and I,

552
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 3: you know, I even though I should know that it's

553
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 3: Hindu and not Indian, and there's all these things that

554
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:10,160
Speaker 3: you're teaching me, which I'm appreciative of. I think I'm

555
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 3: not offended if someone wants to be a part of

556
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,639
Speaker 3: the culture and learn about it and they think they

557
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:15,920
Speaker 3: want to take a piece of it. I think that's

558
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,159
Speaker 3: the part of like being American and being able to

559
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,719
Speaker 3: diversify and take, you know, and like I mix them

560
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 3: as Raeley dishes because my best friend is Israeli and

561
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,439
Speaker 3: I know how to do this because this, and I

562
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,719
Speaker 3: can do some Russian shit because my friend is Russian.

563
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,160
Speaker 3: But it doesn't mean I want to appropriate their culture.

564
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:32,920
Speaker 3: So I think it's small about intent. The intent always the.

565
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 2: Thing is is like you're going to pist people off,

566
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,119
Speaker 2: and some people won't care, and that's just the nature

567
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 2: of it. Yeah, you know, and it's like it's like

568
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 2: if it doesn't matter to you, then it doesn't matter

569
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:42,919
Speaker 2: to you.

570
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,679
Speaker 3: And I think also because African Americans, I think what

571
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 3: kind of annoys me is that we have been deprived

572
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:52,359
Speaker 3: of culture. You know, like what we get as African

573
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 3: Americans is post slavery, and so there's certain things that like, okay,

574
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 3: we have like a Mexican a huge Mexican culture and

575
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 3: you know, California community and California influence. And because they

576
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 3: they've been able to it's like keep their music, keep

577
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 3: their religion, keep their language, keep that thing that that

578
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:14,000
Speaker 3: glues them together. But as African Americans, when you know,

579
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 3: all we're taught is like our history starts at slavery,

580
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 3: and it's like, you know, watered down African culture mostly

581
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,200
Speaker 3: influenced by like Caucasian culture and slavery, Like we don't

582
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 3: really have that, and I think that's why we lack unity,

583
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 3: because we don't have that glue. And I guess, I

584
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 3: guess it's just like the three things we do have,

585
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 3: like braids, you know, corn bread, I don't know, you know,

586
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:34,880
Speaker 3: like let us keep it.

587
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:39,160
Speaker 2: But the stuff that we've created here like music right right,

588
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,199
Speaker 2: you know, yeah, those type of things. But yeah, you're right,

589
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 2: like we don't. Like I'm Nigerian according to ancestry dot com,

590
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 2: and I have known. I don't know anything about that

591
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 2: culture at all, Like I don't understand what the different

592
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:56,160
Speaker 2: the different the different types of like communities within Nigeria.

593
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 2: Like when I was dating that guy from you know

594
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:03,120
Speaker 2: my trembling with that. Yeah, yeah, we have the guys

595
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 2: we talked about on our podcast. We've named them so

596
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 2: trembling Lip. Whenever I kiss, he was always like vibrating

597
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 2: and very nervous. Yeah he was. No, he's just he's

598
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:19,240
Speaker 2: not nervous. He's actually crazy and my god, hopefully he's friends.

599
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 2: He's not crazy. He's great. Great, he's great, he is great,

600
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:25,680
Speaker 2: he is great, He's actually that was the most mature relationship,

601
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:30,199
Speaker 2: dating relationship I've ever had anyway. Wow, he you know,

602
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:32,159
Speaker 2: he was showing me so many different things and I

603
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:36,160
Speaker 2: was like what, And there's different languages and different Yeah,

604
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:40,240
Speaker 2: it's just things that we don't know about, like traditions.

605
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:43,119
Speaker 2: I feel rotted. I feel wrong. But the thing is

606
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 2: we can. We could go and write and bring that in.

607
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 2: It's not like the internet has everything on there. We

608
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 2: can do our research if we really wanted to. We

609
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,960
Speaker 2: just feel weird doing it because it doesn't feel like

610
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 2: it belongs to us.

611
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 3: Nigerians have I feel like a lot of closeness to

612
00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 3: Indian culture that have like beautiful, large weddings.

613
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,680
Speaker 2: For sure. I feel like it's very it's similar. Yeah,

614
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:04,920
Speaker 2: that's a lot of stuff we talk about on Tinted.

615
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 2: Is this idea of like like nose piercings, Like I

616
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,360
Speaker 2: thought that that was an Indian thing, and then we

617
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 2: looked back to the and like the whole history of

618
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 2: it and it went back to like gree Greek roots

619
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,639
Speaker 2: and like Egyptian roots, and I was like, oh wow.

620
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,840
Speaker 2: And so I think literally those type of educational things

621
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 2: is how it's going to change. But it just takes

622
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,760
Speaker 2: the effort of doing it. Yeah, it's true, it's true.

623
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:27,679
Speaker 3: I must to do my research like somebody else in

624
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 3: Africa were a Bendee. Oh yeah, no, it's actually a

625
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 3: Nigerian Cindy.

626
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:35,879
Speaker 2: But the body art and body painting is does go

627
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,879
Speaker 2: back to that, you know, So it's like it's just

628
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 2: all about I guess learning. Honestly, I was just saying

629
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 2: it more to protect you because I know it's a huge.

630
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 2: Well that's good because I would have never known.

631
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 3: Otherwise I would have went to the Indians the Hindu

632
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 3: festival rock in my like, you know, I just really

633
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 3: didn't know. I just saw something and I'm like, I

634
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 3: like it. And I've worn them for a long time,

635
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 3: like years, and no one's ever said, thanks to my friends,

636
00:28:58,480 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 3: I haven't an Indian wedding.

637
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 2: No, oh, you'll come to mind if it ever happened.

638
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 2: I went to an Indie wedding beautiful, yeah, and I

639
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:07,440
Speaker 2: was given a sorry. I was like is it? I

640
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,720
Speaker 2: actually felt like, is it okay? If I wear this,

641
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:12,440
Speaker 2: that's fair it is? And she the bride, she was Indy,

642
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 2: and she was like, no, I want you to wear it, like, yeah,

643
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 2: take I have so many here, take your no literally

644
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 2: my mom has too many closets at them. But yeah,

645
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 2: like we want you to celebrate the culture, and it's

646
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:23,520
Speaker 2: really exciting to see other people do that.

647
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 3: We love doing that, especially because it's like in America,

648
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 3: it's like, i mean, just in general, we have a

649
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 3: very white media. Everything's very i mean just now it's turning.

650
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 3: But like we don't get exposed that much to other

651
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 3: things unless you go seeking it, you know, until like now,

652
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 3: but there's things like you know, live tinted and we

653
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 3: have these conversations and shit, like even I noticed, like

654
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 3: I was like, you know, like you said earlier, like

655
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 3: I go to the store for Luna and I look

656
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,960
Speaker 3: at dolls and even in Target, I'm like, oh yeah,

657
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 3: I want to like every time I like social media,

658
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 3: like what the fuck is that shit? But then I'm like, damn,

659
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:56,520
Speaker 3: I feel unincluded. But imagine Deepica, Imagine my Asian friends,

660
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:58,880
Speaker 3: imagine you know, I really think that, like damn, we

661
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 3: need we need to start even further because there's woman

662
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 3: who look even you know, not white, not black, not tan,

663
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 3: and we don't even have that exactly, And so I'm

664
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 3: always I'm always like noticing noticing it, even as a

665
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 3: kid before like this huge social media make up makeup,

666
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 3: makeout makeup thing.

667
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 2: I remember like looking at Chanel.

668
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:20,280
Speaker 3: It looked like going in Macy's and seeing the cosmetics

669
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 3: and seeing the range and shade range and thinking, what the.

670
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 2: Fuck is this? Oh my god, that was my whole child.

671
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 3: I feel like we could have like successfully, like had

672
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 3: a lawsuit because for like for a million years, there

673
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 3: was like this darkest.

674
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 2: Shade was Erica. Yeah, and she's like white, right, use

675
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 2: whitish rude.

676
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 3: Well, it's we're embracing all the color spectrums, but the

677
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 3: point is you're not the darkest of the spectrum clearly.

678
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 2: Yeah. And that's totally how I grew up, and that

679
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 2: was that was really depressing. I wanted to avoid the

680
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 2: sun because of it. I just wanted to look like

681
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 2: all the girls that I saw on the magazines.

682
00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 3: Is that a thing in the Indian culture, like whitening

683
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 3: your in avoiding the sun? Because that's the thing in

684
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 3: the black culture, Like I don't want to be in

685
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 3: the sun. I don't need to get more dark, Like it's.

686
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 2: Black, it's Mexican, it's Hispanic. Yeah, they're all fair and lovely.

687
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:12,880
Speaker 2: Was a staple. Cream on my mom's counter growing up,

688
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 2: it was a bleaching cream and it's like a number

689
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 2: one product in Asia. Have you spoken to her? Have

690
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 2: you spoke to her about that now? Yeah? Even now?

691
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 2: I love obviously for like cancer reasons, I don't like

692
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 2: to do it, but I love the sun like I

693
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 2: love how it feels. It's like relaxing. I love the

694
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:31,480
Speaker 2: tan that I get out of it or melanated to people.

695
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 2: Even the dude we were just talking about that lives here,

696
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 2: he cannot. He is so not into dark skin Indian girls,

697
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 2: and he's very vocal about it. He'll be like, well,

698
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 2: first of all, he's just into Indian but within that,

699
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 2: it has to be like the Bollywood standard, like super

700
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 2: fair skin, super tiny, one of those things. And like

701
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:51,880
Speaker 2: you don't think that do you feel offunded by that?

702
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 3: Because when a guy tells me something like that a

703
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 3: black eye, I would be offunded.

704
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 2: So yes, But so it goes back and forth, it

705
00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 2: goes all people have types, right, but what is the

706
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 2: idea of like avoiding the sun to look like a

707
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 2: certain beauty standard? Because it's like, why do you actually

708
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 2: like that? Is it? And I don't know the answer.

709
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 2: This is it? Because of what society has said to

710
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:13,000
Speaker 2: you or is that just really your type? And that's tight?

711
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I think it's social. I think we

712
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 3: don't realize how programmed we are and for that, like

713
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 3: we're not realizing what we're saying and why. But I

714
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 3: think it's absolutely we would have grown with like black

715
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 3: black black black black was the standard of beauty.

716
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 2: Everybody would be rushing to the tanning salon. No. Cammy

717
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:31,760
Speaker 2: was telling me the story the other day to you,

718
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 2: saying how this white girl came out to her and

719
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 2: she's like, oh my god, I love your hair, Like

720
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 2: how I would love to make my hair look like that,

721
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 2: and your skin color is so beautiful and it like

722
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 2: irks hair. She's a black woman and it like irks her.

723
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 2: But so I'm curious, like, how would you feel if

724
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:49,640
Speaker 2: somebody was saying that to you, which.

725
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 3: I don't like, woman, or I'm like, yeah, I know

726
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 3: it's bomb right, Yeah, you know, I want to genuinely

727
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:57,800
Speaker 3: know that because I get it, like I get it,

728
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 3: like I get like, like I said, like, have interest

729
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 3: in something that doesn't look like what you have, like

730
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 3: noticing what's beautiful. I can see a very fair, fair, fair,

731
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 3: white white white, white woman with fair, fair eyes. My god,

732
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 3: like your eyes are fucking beautiful. You're beautiful. And I'm

733
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:12,959
Speaker 3: not going to say I want that hair, but like

734
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,160
Speaker 3: I want your skin. But I can acknowledge, and if

735
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:18,240
Speaker 3: someone acknowledges me for you know, whatever, they can see

736
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 3: visually and think it's beautiful, Like, why would I be

737
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,000
Speaker 3: offended by that? But I want you to pet me

738
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 3: in public? Like, oh right now, if I don't know you,

739
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 3: please don't pet me.

740
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 2: I'm not draped dog. But that comes down to people

741
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 2: touching your stomach when you're pregnant. Yeah, Just I think

742
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 2: a lot of like the woman who came up to

743
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:35,800
Speaker 2: her probably was trying to relate to her. Yeah, and

744
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 2: I think a lot of that's where it comes from.

745
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 2: It's not really like I want to be you like

746
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 2: or like sometimes it is, but I think it's like

747
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,840
Speaker 2: I think, as women, a lot of times, the way

748
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 2: we choose to relate is through beauty. It's you're complimenting,

749
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 2: oh my god, I love your earrings, all your lashes,

750
00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Like your skin is so beautiful. That's

751
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:55,520
Speaker 2: just I don't know. I mean, I know why that

752
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 2: is is because you know, as women were taught that

753
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 2: like physicality is like kind of what validates us, you know,

754
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 2: and so you know that's that's I think. Well you

755
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 2: speak a smile on the person's face too, right when

756
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:09,480
Speaker 2: people love, I mean people love, I mean I love

757
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:12,759
Speaker 2: getting caught. Yeah, exactly. Sometimes I feel awkward, but you know, yeah,

758
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 2: I'm not going to say, like, if no one ever

759
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 2: compliment me, complimented me again, I'd be no, yeah, I'd

760
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,040
Speaker 2: be sad, you know. But I died, I got blue contacts,

761
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 2: dyed my hair blonde. As a kid, I wanted to

762
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 2: look like Texas. Wow, an awful photo, but yeah, you

763
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:27,239
Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like I wanted to look like

764
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 2: a contact. I wanted to like the girls that were

765
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 2: around me. Yeah and me too, I want I wanted

766
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:34,279
Speaker 2: to straighten my hair all the time. I wanted to

767
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 2: be skinny. I've always like had athletic build body, and

768
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 2: I was had a woman's body at like age twelve,

769
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 2: and all these girls, like their thighs didn't rubbed together,

770
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:44,239
Speaker 2: and they were wearing these little cranky bees that my

771
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 2: ass couldn't fit into. And I was just like the

772
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 2: boys that of all my white school were never hitting

773
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:52,920
Speaker 2: on me, and so I just felt left out. But

774
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 2: it's funny now because now it's like it's so interesting

775
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:57,800
Speaker 2: now it's shifted.

776
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:01,120
Speaker 3: And I know, do you okay, Like the guy who

777
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:06,880
Speaker 3: we just talked about, who's like, is boldly stating his preference. Okay,

778
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:10,120
Speaker 3: would you even though you understand where that route that's

779
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:12,400
Speaker 3: rooted from, because obviously you're like a brown.

780
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,880
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and no, he's basically saying he's not attracted

781
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,279
Speaker 2: to me. So does that? Does that? Like? How do you?

782
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:18,719
Speaker 2: How do you take that? And like, would you date

783
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:19,279
Speaker 2: a guy like that?

784
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,400
Speaker 3: Because for me as a black man, if someone guys

785
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 3: like says comments like that, I assume you're ignorant, and

786
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 3: then I'm concerned, like what you're gonna teach our kids?

787
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 2: And I wouldn't we is he gonna? Does he want

788
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 2: to date you anyway? Because you're clearly not a type anyway,

789
00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:33,920
Speaker 2: I don't care or or this was gonna say, have

790
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:34,360
Speaker 2: you ever.

791
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 3: Like I've met men who like, I've never dated a

792
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 3: black woman, but I'm so attracted to you.

793
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm like surprised.

794
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:42,960
Speaker 3: I mean, by the way, same thing, but that's not

795
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:46,319
Speaker 3: that black Indian woman, Like, oh my god, I've never

796
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:47,439
Speaker 3: been with an Indian girl.

797
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:48,840
Speaker 2: But I'm not just not like, I don't take that

798
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 2: as a compliment. I think that you sound really stupid.

799
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:53,920
Speaker 2: How do you sound spetishized? Yeah? Yeah yeah?

800
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:57,759
Speaker 3: So like, would you date that guy with knowing his mentality,

801
00:35:57,800 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 3: knowing he is may still be attracted to you with

802
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 3: you're the exception?

803
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 2: How do you feel about that? So if I was

804
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,799
Speaker 2: the exception but I knew his mentality in general, was

805
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:12,280
Speaker 2: that way? My gut is saying yes, because I because

806
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 2: in my mind, I think the idea of beauty his

807
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:20,920
Speaker 2: character if if if that kind of character bled through

808
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 2: to every other part of his life, then the answer

809
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:24,920
Speaker 2: is no. But if it comes down to like, oh

810
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:26,799
Speaker 2: I was attracted to this, but I'm actually into you,

811
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:29,000
Speaker 2: it is kind of like showing the other side of

812
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:32,280
Speaker 2: it or just make you feel more special. Maybe honestly,

813
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 2: I bet it is something twisted like that, but it

814
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:37,359
Speaker 2: makes you feel like a little more like oh the rule.

815
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:39,160
Speaker 3: But what I feel like, you guys go out and

816
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:40,759
Speaker 3: you're like are together and then you like go to

817
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:44,399
Speaker 3: the bet and he's like all these fair skinned Yeah

818
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,719
Speaker 3: yeah you're right, Yeah, you're like dead. This is like

819
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,279
Speaker 3: a therapy session. Suddenly you feel insecure. Yeah, would you

820
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 3: suddenly feel insecure?

821
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:54,120
Speaker 2: Probably? That's a good point. The get back, I changed

822
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 2: my mind. Well, I mean not that you should. We

823
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:58,839
Speaker 2: shouldn't feel incure. The ironic part about it is I'm

824
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:01,799
Speaker 2: not attracted to him, right, So then it's and I'm

825
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:03,839
Speaker 2: and I was just saying this. My whole life, I've

826
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 2: dated South Asian guys. I've only had two boyfriends, but

827
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 2: they're both Indian, and now I'm at a point where

828
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:10,160
Speaker 2: i want to explore outside of that. But it's not

829
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 2: like I actually I'm just more saying it. For the

830
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 2: first time in my life, I'm being open minded. I'm

831
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 2: not it's like tough to say, like screw every Indian

832
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:19,920
Speaker 2: guy out there, like that's not cool, right, But at

833
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:22,080
Speaker 2: the same time, it's like I was trained my whole

834
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:23,360
Speaker 2: life that I was supposed to be in with this

835
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 2: kind of person that looked like this, and our families

836
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 2: would be like this, And now I'm like, you know what,

837
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 2: like be nice, it doesn't matter, be a kind person. Yeah.

838
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,839
Speaker 2: Speaking of that, and dating outside of your race, I

839
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 2: know another steria, like what I said in the stereotype

840
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:39,239
Speaker 2: is that, yeah, dating outside of your race within the

841
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 2: Indian community is kind of like you don't do it,

842
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 2: and it's like scary to bring that guy home to

843
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 2: your parents. Ten years ago, my oldest cousin married an

844
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:52,360
Speaker 2: Asian guy and it broke up our family. Like my

845
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 2: dad had seven brothers and most some of them didn't

846
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:57,400
Speaker 2: show up. It was really rough, and I think just

847
00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,879
Speaker 2: she did it. She took one, she took the hit,

848
00:37:59,920 --> 00:38:01,920
Speaker 2: and now we have like four cousins who are marrying

849
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:02,719
Speaker 2: outside of their race.

850
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:04,880
Speaker 3: But I think so after that they'd come back together

851
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:08,360
Speaker 3: once kids were involved, once there was grandkids, everyone was like,

852
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 3: you know what, at the end of the day, do

853
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:10,040
Speaker 3: we want our.

854
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 2: Kids to not get it raised together? It's silly, but

855
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:16,359
Speaker 2: they were so so stubborn about the fact that like, no,

856
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 2: this is not okay, so against go goes against our culture,

857
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:21,920
Speaker 2: and especially her because she was the one that was

858
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:24,239
Speaker 2: like doing the cultural dances as a kid and all

859
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:27,480
Speaker 2: that stuff. But since then, it's it's just changed. I

860
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:28,800
Speaker 2: think it's just progress.

861
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:32,840
Speaker 3: Yeahs was she was she open to them now embracing

862
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 3: her kids. I mean like after they didn't show up

863
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 3: to her wedding because I would be better, Like you

864
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:36,280
Speaker 3: didn't want.

865
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:37,359
Speaker 2: To come to wedding, then you want to be around

866
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 2: my kids. I think at the end of the day,

867
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:40,239
Speaker 2: when you have kids, all of it changes. Yeah, because

868
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:42,120
Speaker 2: you're like better, Like fuck it.

869
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:44,160
Speaker 3: It is important that like I'm going to look past

870
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 3: that you did this or whatever, and now we're in

871
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:46,720
Speaker 3: a different space.

872
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 2: I mean I've been looking at like Priyanka and Nice like, oh, yeah,

873
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 2: so they recently just got married, and I was and

874
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:56,360
Speaker 2: she's also older woman, and I was thinking about it.

875
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:58,720
Speaker 2: She's older than him. I think, oh, yeah, late thirties

876
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:01,439
Speaker 2: or yeah, four. I think there's a decade difference. Yeah,

877
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:04,120
Speaker 2: she might be like forty. Wow that brown, don't frown.

878
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:07,920
Speaker 2: She's beautiful. But I was thinking about that too. I mean,

879
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 2: she's she's much older, so maybe her family is kind

880
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:13,880
Speaker 2: of just at this point, like and she's and she

881
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:17,000
Speaker 2: has a successful career. I just wonder why you're rich. Yeah, well,

882
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 2: I was just wondering what her family was thinking because

883
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:23,160
Speaker 2: she is older. You know. I think she has become

884
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:25,720
Speaker 2: one of those leaders that's paving the way for other people.

885
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,320
Speaker 2: And I think that there are just certain families that

886
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 2: are more open to that. And I feel like I'm

887
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 2: very grateful that my parents would be like that. Okay,

888
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 2: let me ask you a question. Okay, because obviously Nick

889
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 2: is white. Do you think that acceptance is easier.

890
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 3: When it's a white guy whereas like if it was

891
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:43,920
Speaker 3: a black guy or Asian guy or a different guy.

892
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 2: Because I think sadly, yes, yes, there's a what is it?

893
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 2: I haven't heard this in so long, but as a kid, no,

894
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 2: BMW's black Muslim or white? Yeah, or black Mexican. No

895
00:39:57,280 --> 00:40:01,000
Speaker 2: is Muslim Muslim culturally Hindus and Musli back in the

896
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:07,000
Speaker 2: day obviously, Yeah, so yeah, white, it's not on you know,

897
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 2: you don't think it's it's less of a big deal,

898
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:12,800
Speaker 2: whereas if it was a black guy or an Asian

899
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 2: guy or meat or whatever. But I do think everything

900
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 2: is changing. But yes, growing up, yes, I wonder what

901
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:22,799
Speaker 2: that is. I know it's white represents America, so it's

902
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:25,080
Speaker 2: a little more acceptable. I think that a little bit

903
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:28,920
Speaker 2: more because especially because in you know, culturally Indians like

904
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 2: they they I don't know. Yeah, it goes back to

905
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:34,719
Speaker 2: British British colonizm yisation and then coming here and wanting

906
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 2: to live this American dream. And sometimes when that comes

907
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 2: with the white man. Yeah, and also that's how the validation,

908
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 2: because you were talking about like your father's version of

909
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,479
Speaker 2: what the American dream is is like you know, having

910
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 2: a certain respect and does that respect within his community

911
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:54,640
Speaker 2: or respect from American white people.

912
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:58,239
Speaker 3: I think I think it's the latter. That's how you

913
00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 3: are respected by white people. Well globally like white is right,

914
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:07,040
Speaker 3: you know, it's like a global white supremacy exists in

915
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:10,520
Speaker 3: all corners of the earth, you know, and as much

916
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:12,880
Speaker 3: as it's changing, I think, like just like in the

917
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,680
Speaker 3: Beauty Standard and the media and Disney and all this

918
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:19,000
Speaker 3: other shit, like it's the same. It goes in all cultures,

919
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:22,640
Speaker 3: even like Japanese women like they like like think they're

920
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 3: more beautiful.

921
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,319
Speaker 2: I they're mixed with European just like black and black

922
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,719
Speaker 2: culture like yeah she makes she got the hair, you know.

923
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:30,399
Speaker 3: You know, like it's just like this weird taboo that

924
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:32,640
Speaker 3: if you mix with white there's like some people.

925
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:34,560
Speaker 2: That's why color doesn't exists in every community.

926
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:36,759
Speaker 3: Exact right, because for sure, the lightest is the fair

927
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:37,800
Speaker 3: is the most beautiful.

928
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 2: Even within India, North India versus South India. I'm South Indian,

929
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 2: we're considered to be less beautiful, less like intelligent because

930
00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:47,560
Speaker 2: North Indian beauty standards are.

931
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 3: What's considered beautiful because the North North Indian is more

932
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 3: like likely more fair. I know, such bullshit crazy, but

933
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,719
Speaker 3: you're right, there's there's more. There's more commonalities than there

934
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:02,520
Speaker 3: are differences. Yeah, and I think that's the cool thing.

935
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:04,879
Speaker 3: But like nobody's talking about it. And I think it's

936
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:06,560
Speaker 3: things like this that changes that, you know.

937
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:08,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, and even so, like when I grew up, I

938
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,479
Speaker 2: didn't like my big eyes or my big brows because

939
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 2: that was these are very South Asian South Indian features.

940
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 2: Now I'm like obsessed with it, and that's just because

941
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 2: of progress and things are changing. Like I love having

942
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 2: big furry brows, you know, I love those brows, thank you.

943
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 2: But it took a long time to embrace them.

944
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:31,560
Speaker 3: But it's funny how we are so influenced, like our

945
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:36,919
Speaker 3: perception of ourselves is so heavily influenced by outside factors. Yeah,

946
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:39,479
Speaker 3: and it's like it's so stupid because we're the only person.

947
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,880
Speaker 3: We got to live and die in this body alone. Yeah,

948
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,960
Speaker 3: so like why the fuck doesn't matter? But it's true.

949
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:49,399
Speaker 2: Everyone wants to be accepted, loved, and that all comes

950
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:52,719
Speaker 2: down to Unfortunately, at an esthetic level the first thing

951
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 2: people think about. And that's why I think, because I've

952
00:42:57,640 --> 00:42:59,680
Speaker 2: been having so much like I've been having this like

953
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 2: tug of war with social media lately and like feeling

954
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 2: like and I know, I know for sure you have,

955
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 2: which is probably part of the reason I'm assuming why

956
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:10,360
Speaker 2: you would started tinted, because you can really create content

957
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 2: that is meaningful and in the world that you started in,

958
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:18,200
Speaker 2: which is beauty and you know, YouTube tutorial, beauty hacks,

959
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 2: all that stuff that can start to feel so mundane,

960
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:25,160
Speaker 2: so shallow, you feel so vain, like me posting, I'm

961
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:29,120
Speaker 2: like hesitant to even post photos of myself now and

962
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:31,719
Speaker 2: I really haven't really been posting photos of myself because

963
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 2: I feel so vain and at part of it was

964
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,960
Speaker 2: part of for my vanity, and I think something's shifting

965
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:41,279
Speaker 2: within me where I'm just like, I don't like, I

966
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,640
Speaker 2: appreciate people commenting and saying, oh my god, you the

967
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:45,840
Speaker 2: club pretty, the clip pretty, But then sometimes I'm like,

968
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:47,879
Speaker 2: that was even my intent with the photo. I wrote

969
00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:51,960
Speaker 2: this beautiful long aption about self love and where I'm

970
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 2: at or I'm not feeling. I'm feeling like shit today

971
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 2: and all you saw was just like you're so pretty

972
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:01,839
Speaker 2: and it's like, well, bitch stopping, like what you don't

973
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:03,640
Speaker 2: appreciate that, and like no, I do, but it just

974
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 2: seems so you know, it's tough. It seems so shallow. Yeah,

975
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:08,880
Speaker 2: and all the you know, photoshopping and all that stuff

976
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 2: that happens. It's like, I don't want to be the

977
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:14,520
Speaker 2: person promoting that beauty standard. But sometimes when you work

978
00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 2: with brands, that's what they're doing and it's like you're

979
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,239
Speaker 2: the person behind it. That's why I just haven't been

980
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:21,839
Speaker 2: as much anymore. I'm not I'm not. I don't wake

981
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 2: up excited about it. I don't feel motivated by it.

982
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 2: And I feel motivated by Tinted because we're trying to

983
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,560
Speaker 2: change that standard. And like when you write these, like

984
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 2: you said, like now to me, I want to take

985
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:34,080
Speaker 2: There's some things I have to do because A it

986
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 2: pays the bills, and b it creates a relevancy to

987
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:39,439
Speaker 2: do what I'd care to do, which is Tinted talking

988
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 2: about my family and my like that your family is

989
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:46,239
Speaker 2: fucking adorable, but the other thing are so embarrassed of them.

990
00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:47,840
Speaker 2: As a kid, right, Like I didn't want my friends

991
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 2: to come over my mom would wear a nid and

992
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 2: like be cooking chicken curry, and I have a very

993
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,040
Speaker 2: distinct memory. I have a girlfriend coming over and coughing

994
00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:57,319
Speaker 2: and literally asking to leave because she couldn't handle the

995
00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 2: smell of the food. And so I was so I

996
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 2: didn't want people to come over anymore. And I think

997
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 2: that is I'm not the only one who felt that way.

998
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:07,360
Speaker 2: So what I can do now to show how incredible

999
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,359
Speaker 2: it is to have parents as hardworking, dedicated to their

1000
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:12,839
Speaker 2: family as I had growing up. And if that can

1001
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:14,840
Speaker 2: change any other person's dynamic, that's what I want to

1002
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,480
Speaker 2: do more well, fucking yeah, way more than any selfie,

1003
00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 2: you know. But it's a balance. But before you started

1004
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:21,719
Speaker 2: lived Tinted.

1005
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,400
Speaker 3: In what ways, like, you know, coming into the beauty

1006
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:29,120
Speaker 3: industry and the social media whole situation, that's you know,

1007
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 3: the beauty industry is not really weird for us.

1008
00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:34,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, how like, in what ways did you feel that

1009
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:37,960
Speaker 2: I for Tinted. I knew I was the token brown

1010
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:40,720
Speaker 2: girl in beauty brand campaigns, Like whenever I was hired,

1011
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:42,839
Speaker 2: it was like I was the Indian girl, and then

1012
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:44,799
Speaker 2: there was a black girl and there's Latino girl. But

1013
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,680
Speaker 2: to be honest, it didn't bother me because I was like,

1014
00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 2: at least there is a token brown girl now, because

1015
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 2: I was like, this is step one to making it

1016
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 2: so eventually there's a lot of us. So the fact

1017
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:56,200
Speaker 2: that I was even included, that's how I thought about

1018
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:57,880
Speaker 2: it in my brain. But then I got to a

1019
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:00,280
Speaker 2: point where I was like, Wow, there's girls at different

1020
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:02,200
Speaker 2: ends of the spectrum, much darker than me and lighter

1021
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:05,840
Speaker 2: than me that haven't been showcased on these brand campaigns

1022
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:09,800
Speaker 2: either ever specifically darker than me, that like, you don't

1023
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:13,200
Speaker 2: find super melanin filled South Asian women in the media

1024
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 2: at all. And that was that was our first post

1025
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 2: four Tinted. That made me like so excited because it

1026
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:20,719
Speaker 2: was like so cool to find that girl, and it

1027
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 2: was also really sad how hard it was to find

1028
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 2: that girl. That's how I actually started kicking off Tinted.

1029
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:27,960
Speaker 2: I was going to make it a secret and curate

1030
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:30,240
Speaker 2: like a whole Instagram before doing it, but I couldn't

1031
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 2: find that girl and we needed that photo, so I

1032
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:34,920
Speaker 2: just put on my Instagram stories use hashtag lived tinted

1033
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 2: to show us beautiful South Asian women with a lot

1034
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 2: like darker skin tone, and that's how we finally found

1035
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:40,800
Speaker 2: them because I kept.

1036
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 3: Seeing and then you know they're there, Like you're there.

1037
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 2: Maybe they don't have like one hundred thousand followers. Yeah,

1038
00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:50,000
Speaker 2: they're like you know, they're just starting to build their

1039
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:52,640
Speaker 2: start starting to build their you know, following her community. Yeah.

1040
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 2: We live in such a world where like we're we're

1041
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:57,239
Speaker 2: controlled by people's following, Like we don't. We only want

1042
00:46:57,239 --> 00:46:58,800
Speaker 2: to work with you if you have this amount of

1043
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 2: people that like you or that are liking your photos.

1044
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:03,840
Speaker 3: I know this even now post effecture and I'm like

1045
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:06,959
Speaker 3: it's so beautiful and I'm like, only got sixteen likes.

1046
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:09,279
Speaker 2: But I know we'd be lying to ourselves if we

1047
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:12,319
Speaker 2: didn't feel I'm a child and I need to grow

1048
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:14,400
Speaker 2: up because it's ridiculous. No, you become a slave to

1049
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:17,880
Speaker 2: like checking and looking and like why did this photo get?

1050
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:21,040
Speaker 2: These are analyzing. You become your own like analytics specialist,

1051
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:24,719
Speaker 2: like why did this photo get? Like I really like

1052
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 2: this photo with that one, but obviously they like this

1053
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:28,359
Speaker 2: one more. So what you try to break it down?

1054
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:30,799
Speaker 2: Like I need to post more content like this so

1055
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 2: that you know what is like this? What does this mean?

1056
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 2: I really believe this, and I feel like we have

1057
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,439
Speaker 2: to believe this now. The only like, the only way

1058
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:41,640
Speaker 2: to get it go against that is like doing starting

1059
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:43,480
Speaker 2: this podcast, you guys are doing in posting content that

1060
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:46,680
Speaker 2: matters to you, because otherwise we're all everyone's just going

1061
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:50,000
Speaker 2: to keep doing selfies. It's going to take the same right, same,

1062
00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:52,880
Speaker 2: it's the same shirt. If I see one more like

1063
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 2: selfie next to like a white marble wall with like

1064
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 2: a pink light pink sweatshirt and oh my god, like

1065
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:04,759
Speaker 2: kneeling down like with like one you know, the kneel down, Yeah,

1066
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 2: like you're praying or some shit.

1067
00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:08,880
Speaker 3: I got like really hot, look that all the girls

1068
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 3: are doing that. I'm not good at it all.

1069
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like I was saying, like if you if

1070
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:15,800
Speaker 2: I see one more folk girl posing in a certain position,

1071
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:19,279
Speaker 2: perfect color scheme. And don't get me wrong, there are

1072
00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:22,200
Speaker 2: instagrams that I follow because I really love how curated. Yeah,

1073
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:25,319
Speaker 2: like I like organization. It makes me feel happy when

1074
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:27,319
Speaker 2: I look at it. Yeah, but then sometimes I'm like,

1075
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:29,880
Speaker 2: oh my god, this picture this is the same one

1076
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:31,759
Speaker 2: that I saw on the last instagram I was on,

1077
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:33,200
Speaker 2: and the last one, the last one of the last

1078
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:36,440
Speaker 2: one is just like that's why I've been so hesitant

1079
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:39,160
Speaker 2: to post. Like it's been like it's actually been nice

1080
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:41,840
Speaker 2: because for a while I was like feeling like I

1081
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:43,640
Speaker 2: have to post, I have to post today. I wantly

1082
00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:46,359
Speaker 2: posted once, Yeah I didn't post yesterday, buck like same,

1083
00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:50,600
Speaker 2: and it's it becomes overwhelming, and I know longer in

1084
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,200
Speaker 2: creating content or posting unless there's a message behind it

1085
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:55,520
Speaker 2: rather than just the photo. So even if people are

1086
00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:56,920
Speaker 2: going to say you're so pretty or so pretty, at

1087
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:59,200
Speaker 2: least I know that, like my message behind the photo

1088
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:02,920
Speaker 2: is bigger than the aesthetic aspect. It's tough. I mean,

1089
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:06,560
Speaker 2: let's be real, Like people people do follow me for

1090
00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 2: makeup tips for South Asian girls, so like it's you

1091
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:12,399
Speaker 2: also don't want to like go against the reason why

1092
00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 2: all these people started following you, you know so, But

1093
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 2: now I'm just like adding in the content that really

1094
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 2: motivates me and gets me excited. In addition to that

1095
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:26,120
Speaker 2: the balance that is beautiful. Do you post? I realize

1096
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:28,440
Speaker 2: I do, Yeah, post, I do post a lot. She

1097
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 2: gets the most Well, of course that's what I was

1098
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:33,200
Speaker 2: gonna ask you guys, Like obviously that would get the

1099
00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:36,840
Speaker 2: most likes because they're freaking adorable. But are you protective

1100
00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:39,919
Speaker 2: or worried in any way that, Like, sometimes I'm more

1101
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:43,080
Speaker 2: worried that I don't want her to become that I

1102
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:45,400
Speaker 2: don't want her to because we're in this world of

1103
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:47,480
Speaker 2: social media and I can only imagine where it's going

1104
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:50,560
Speaker 2: to go, like more and more and more access, access,

1105
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:54,319
Speaker 2: access that I don't want her to feel like she

1106
00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 2: has to she has to be that way, or she

1107
00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:59,520
Speaker 2: has to be a certain way, or you know. And

1108
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:02,160
Speaker 2: so that's the one thing I don't really I don't

1109
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:04,799
Speaker 2: think anyone's gonna come get my kid or I'm not

1110
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:06,759
Speaker 2: like famous, so I've been bringing out a fat where

1111
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:09,239
Speaker 2: she goes to school. Or maybe if I was, i'd

1112
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:12,279
Speaker 2: have I'd think twice about it. But or just like

1113
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:14,040
Speaker 2: if somebody said like a rude I can't imagine the

1114
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:16,160
Speaker 2: rude comments I've had someone say rud com like, of

1115
00:50:16,239 --> 00:50:20,600
Speaker 2: course these people you don't know, right, but actually know

1116
00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:23,560
Speaker 2: you had someone who said a rude comment to someone recently?

1117
00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 2: Oh actually, yeah, I had someone who I used to

1118
00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 2: be friends with and what was it.

1119
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 3: Oh, well, she was basically judging your parenting and like

1120
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:35,160
Speaker 3: putting it on your mommy shaming and of course the

1121
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 3: person is not a kid.

1122
00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:39,880
Speaker 2: I my, oh my god, so stupid.

1123
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:42,879
Speaker 3: My client has a ship for pull in her living room,

1124
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:46,440
Speaker 3: and of course, like it's fun everybody wants to try it,

1125
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 3: including Luna.

1126
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:50,600
Speaker 2: And it looks like, oh, that's so funny. It looks

1127
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:51,320
Speaker 2: like a playground.

1128
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 3: There's actually pulls at the playground, if anyone would take

1129
00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:57,560
Speaker 3: fucking notice. And of course she wasn't wearing clear heels

1130
00:50:57,600 --> 00:51:00,200
Speaker 3: in a bikini. I didn't put her in that off

1131
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:03,600
Speaker 3: for that day, but it was on Instagram, and it's like,

1132
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 3: you know, you're teaching her to tour.

1133
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:06,680
Speaker 2: You're teaching her like I like.

1134
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:09,239
Speaker 3: I hope that, like I pray that she doesn't come

1135
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:11,160
Speaker 3: out a certain way because you know, you're putting her

1136
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:12,719
Speaker 3: Instagram a certain way. And you know what I had

1137
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:14,720
Speaker 3: to do. These are people I've known a long time.

1138
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:19,120
Speaker 3: And the funny thing is the mom. Okay, the mom

1139
00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:21,640
Speaker 3: I'm friends with the girl, we used to be friends,

1140
00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:23,719
Speaker 3: but I'm also friends with her mom. And the mom

1141
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:26,720
Speaker 3: made a comment. But the girl was actually a career stripper,

1142
00:51:27,320 --> 00:51:29,120
Speaker 3: so I don't think she Maybe she was projecting on

1143
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:31,560
Speaker 3: me because her daughter actually became a stripper. But my

1144
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 3: daughter's three, and she has no concept of stripping or

1145
00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:38,360
Speaker 3: the like the club, and I just thought, like, I

1146
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:40,680
Speaker 3: don't like, I hate and I think this happens a

1147
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:44,160
Speaker 3: lot like when adults project like innocent, like project their

1148
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 3: adulthood on innocent children that have no no scope of

1149
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:51,239
Speaker 3: these things. And it's just like, don't sexualize my child, right,

1150
00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:54,239
Speaker 3: there's nothing sexual about this situation. She's three, she has

1151
00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:55,719
Speaker 3: no idea what that means, and I don't like the

1152
00:51:55,719 --> 00:51:58,640
Speaker 3: projection of it and my whole there's pervs out there,

1153
00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:00,759
Speaker 3: and one thing I'm being on I don't live my

1154
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:04,640
Speaker 3: life in fear of other people, of just general big fear,

1155
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:08,319
Speaker 3: like obviously I'm precautious, but pers are at the park,

1156
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:09,759
Speaker 3: you know, pers are at the mall.

1157
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:11,960
Speaker 2: Pers are probably at your family reunion.

1158
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:15,960
Speaker 3: So I can't, like, I'm not like covering her face

1159
00:52:16,040 --> 00:52:18,320
Speaker 3: or every little thing on Instagram because that's like I

1160
00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:21,360
Speaker 3: don't think and I'm not thinking my life based on

1161
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 3: pers You can't.

1162
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:23,600
Speaker 2: That's exhausting. It's exhausting.

1163
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:25,560
Speaker 3: It's perfs everywhere you know, you never know who those

1164
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:28,799
Speaker 3: people are, but I have to, like I blocked all

1165
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:32,480
Speaker 3: those people because it's just like I was getting rouled

1166
00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:35,080
Speaker 3: up about it, but I realized I'm super free spirited,

1167
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 3: I'm super hippie, I'm super naked, I'm super comfortable with

1168
00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:39,360
Speaker 3: my body. And it's not an attention thing, it's not

1169
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:41,399
Speaker 3: a sexual thing. It's just who the fuck I am.

1170
00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:44,440
Speaker 3: And my daughter is going to know that. She's going

1171
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:46,399
Speaker 3: to know me best more than anyone else. And if

1172
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:49,120
Speaker 3: you don't know me, then you don't get to comment

1173
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:51,200
Speaker 3: on my parenting or me. And if you don't have

1174
00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:52,600
Speaker 3: like positive like.

1175
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:54,600
Speaker 2: I don't think there could be any more hurtful thing

1176
00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 2: than somebody targeting your parents. Oh no, there's not. There's

1177
00:52:57,680 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 2: no crushcause it's like this person knows you, So call

1178
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:02,920
Speaker 2: me and talk to me. Yeah, don't don't put it

1179
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 2: on social media for other people to judge and then

1180
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 2: wonder that what you're talking about and then they're looking

1181
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:09,640
Speaker 2: at you like maybe she is that way. I mean

1182
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:11,560
Speaker 2: she is naked all the time, like she does you know,

1183
00:53:11,640 --> 00:53:13,719
Speaker 2: you just start, well, when is she teaching her child

1184
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:15,960
Speaker 2: to love her fucking body? You know?

1185
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:18,720
Speaker 3: And so I mean, don't it's going for someone's jugular

1186
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:20,760
Speaker 3: when you comment to my parents, sa ay, you're coming

1187
00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:22,680
Speaker 3: at me, And like if you're a friend or out

1188
00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:24,600
Speaker 3: of love, you're gonna be like, look, girl, I'm gonna

1189
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:26,440
Speaker 3: call you because I'm concerned.

1190
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:28,239
Speaker 2: What do you feel about this? Whatever, there's a way you.

1191
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:34,000
Speaker 3: Like you you come at someone, but if it's not positive,

1192
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:35,279
Speaker 3: it's not happy. I had to, like, I had to

1193
00:53:35,280 --> 00:53:36,839
Speaker 3: make the conscious decision I'm not gonna get mad. I'm

1194
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:38,319
Speaker 3: not gonna give the energy. I'm gonna cut you off

1195
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:40,480
Speaker 3: because I'm not going to give you answers because it's

1196
00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:42,480
Speaker 3: my child and it's my and I know I'm raising

1197
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:43,840
Speaker 3: her right and I know I'm raising her in a

1198
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:47,040
Speaker 3: safe space. So I mean, you know, it's inevitable that

1199
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:48,680
Speaker 3: our kids, that's our prize possession.

1200
00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:50,319
Speaker 2: We're gonna fucking take pictures with them, We're going to

1201
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:51,040
Speaker 2: post it. They're great.

1202
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:54,440
Speaker 3: But like people are gonna have opinions about everything, your outfit,

1203
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:56,319
Speaker 3: how you raise your kids, everything, So like you have

1204
00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:58,440
Speaker 3: to either be comfortable in who you are and what

1205
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:01,600
Speaker 3: you are and what you're projecting and or or not.

1206
00:54:01,719 --> 00:54:03,000
Speaker 3: And because I'm comfortable in and it and I know

1207
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:05,000
Speaker 3: I'm doing the right thing, and I don't tolerate it,

1208
00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:06,960
Speaker 3: you know, so fuck makes sense.

1209
00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:09,480
Speaker 2: But for me, I haven't I haven't really the only

1210
00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 2: time I've ever seen anyone leave a bad comment and

1211
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:13,319
Speaker 2: has been on her father's page, and that's because he

1212
00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:15,239
Speaker 2: has a lot more followers than I do about it,

1213
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:17,920
Speaker 2: and you know, just people just bored talking shit. But

1214
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:21,239
Speaker 2: it enrages me. It totally enrages me because it's like

1215
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:24,640
Speaker 2: she's an innocent child, right, like she doesn't it can't

1216
00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:27,319
Speaker 2: even defend yourself. But I mean, that's the world we

1217
00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:30,280
Speaker 2: live in. I'm sure you get crazy comments on your stuff.

1218
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:32,800
Speaker 2: It never bothers me if they say anything about me physically,

1219
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:35,839
Speaker 2: like whatever, oh you're not pretty or that something like that.

1220
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:37,960
Speaker 2: Like that doesn't bother me. I have a self confidence

1221
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:40,319
Speaker 2: in like my appearance and stuff. It bothers me when

1222
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:43,520
Speaker 2: they attack like my work ethic, Like she only posts

1223
00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:45,879
Speaker 2: like one YouTube video week, nobody has any idea what's

1224
00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:48,399
Speaker 2: happening behind the scenes for live hinted and like that.

1225
00:54:48,680 --> 00:54:51,000
Speaker 2: It irks me to set somebody to say, there's this

1226
00:54:51,320 --> 00:54:53,160
Speaker 2: I don't even want to give it. Maybe we'll cut

1227
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:55,400
Speaker 2: this part out, but there's this Reddit threat about me

1228
00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:57,400
Speaker 2: that was like what do you think about deep with Yalla?

1229
00:54:57,440 --> 00:54:59,280
Speaker 2: And I got like I got like a Google alert

1230
00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:03,279
Speaker 2: about it, and it was just going in about like

1231
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:06,239
Speaker 2: my privilege and I the thing is, like, I'm very

1232
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:08,279
Speaker 2: aware of the privileges I have in like I did

1233
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 2: not grow up poor, but I also didn't grow up

1234
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 2: to be this super super rich like, so I know

1235
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:16,040
Speaker 2: where I fall in my privileges, and I'm very self aware.

1236
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:17,719
Speaker 2: I think that's one thing about all of us that

1237
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:19,640
Speaker 2: we're very self aware people.

1238
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:21,840
Speaker 3: And I know what I have and I don't have

1239
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:23,719
Speaker 3: and things like that. But I also worked really hard

1240
00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:26,120
Speaker 3: for like so much of this that like, don't take

1241
00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 3: it away from it.

1242
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:30,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, And also a lot of it was brown people,

1243
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:32,279
Speaker 2: and it's like I would think that they would want

1244
00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:34,560
Speaker 2: to help support me the most, to help me keep

1245
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:38,040
Speaker 2: going and keep fighting. And to read that crushed me

1246
00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:40,359
Speaker 2: because I was like, you have no idea how hard

1247
00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:42,360
Speaker 2: I'm working. And you know, of course there's parts like

1248
00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:46,000
Speaker 2: brand trips and things like that that are lavish, lavish,

1249
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:48,839
Speaker 2: but nobody I'm editing at three in the morning and

1250
00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:51,520
Speaker 2: like not sleeping at night because I'm thinking about things

1251
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:53,720
Speaker 2: that I need to still get done and I'm trying

1252
00:55:53,719 --> 00:55:55,680
Speaker 2: to like pitch investors and like things like that. Is

1253
00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:58,200
Speaker 2: like nobody has any idea. But anyways, at the end

1254
00:55:58,200 --> 00:55:59,480
Speaker 2: of the day, that's an insecurity in me that I

1255
00:55:59,480 --> 00:56:01,640
Speaker 2: have to get over not care because I know what

1256
00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:04,600
Speaker 2: I'm doing. We're all we all have some degree of insecurity,

1257
00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 2: and you know what. I like, I told Erica.

1258
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:10,640
Speaker 3: Because we had like one thread one time too, and yeah,

1259
00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:12,239
Speaker 3: if we don't, you know, you're doing the right thing.

1260
00:56:12,239 --> 00:56:14,919
Speaker 2: If you don't have no haters, so you know, brush

1261
00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:17,520
Speaker 2: and brush them off. Yeah. Yeah, we had a threat

1262
00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:19,960
Speaker 2: about our parenting. I was like what, And then I

1263
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:23,840
Speaker 2: was like, Okay, let me come down. We're famous because

1264
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:26,319
Speaker 2: I know I'm a good parent. Yeah, and it's like,

1265
00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:29,239
Speaker 2: you don't even know you're not here yeah, like, and

1266
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:32,600
Speaker 2: you're probably not even a parent. So my kid's fucking amazing.

1267
00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:35,719
Speaker 2: And he listened to all of our episodes, Like this

1268
00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:38,560
Speaker 2: person was listening to all like commented on episode four

1269
00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:41,400
Speaker 2: and that episode seven. I like, so you listened to

1270
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:43,480
Speaker 2: all my episodes and then you went on a blogged

1271
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:48,320
Speaker 2: into a website to then talk about It's just insane. Yeah.

1272
00:56:48,560 --> 00:56:51,360
Speaker 2: It just makes me feel really really special. Thank you

1273
00:56:51,400 --> 00:56:51,879
Speaker 2: so much.

1274
00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:54,520
Speaker 3: Well, I'm really grateful to be able to have this

1275
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:56,960
Speaker 3: time with you and talk to you this is so good.

1276
00:56:57,080 --> 00:57:01,520
Speaker 3: It was really good. I feel therapy. There's those like therapy, podcasting, therapeutic.

1277
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:05,520
Speaker 2: Girl. Yeah, we're like, we're smart, we're women. Yeah, we're

1278
00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:08,160
Speaker 2: thinking about what we're saying. You just need to get

1279
00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:10,360
Speaker 2: the conversations out and just say them out loud. I

1280
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 2: think conversations do you have with yourself that maybe you

1281
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:14,640
Speaker 2: don't you forget to have with friends or you know,

1282
00:57:14,719 --> 00:57:18,080
Speaker 2: you just don't totally. And so thank you, Yeah, thanks

1283
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 2: for having me, for joining us, for educating me. Yeah,

1284
00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:25,480
Speaker 2: educating Tamila and me too. I mean, I don't know,

1285
00:57:25,520 --> 00:57:27,720
Speaker 2: I don't know the history of Bendie's and all that either,

1286
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 2: So I'll definitely I'm not that I wear them, but

1287
00:57:30,760 --> 00:57:32,680
Speaker 2: I'll definitely think twice before I see one at the stoor.

1288
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:36,480
Speaker 2: Stick it on the board. But anyway, you can find

1289
00:57:36,560 --> 00:57:41,880
Speaker 2: Deepica at I care about Tinted at Tinted Yeah, say

1290
00:57:41,920 --> 00:57:44,160
Speaker 2: them off, I know, and then it's my name at Deepaka.

1291
00:57:44,560 --> 00:57:46,920
Speaker 2: But you should follow Tinted. Honestly, I think a lot

1292
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:49,560
Speaker 2: of our followers are brown, yeah, black, and we do

1293
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:56,160
Speaker 2: have like some Caucasian followers. Hey, Nellie whatever, girl. And

1294
00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:59,000
Speaker 2: but that's the point, no discriminating nostill tell you yeah,

1295
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 2: and her her pages all awesome highlights, amazing, amazing women.

1296
00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:07,240
Speaker 2: I'm not just saying that because I was on bomb.

1297
00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:11,880
Speaker 2: But anyway, we will catch you guys next time.

1298
00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 3: Enjoy your week, and we have an event on December twelfth.

1299
00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:19,080
Speaker 3: We're having cocktails. You should come to where Century City?

1300
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:22,720
Speaker 2: Oh bitch, what it's in? Culver City? Okay, Culver City.

1301
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,600
Speaker 2: You know Century City is like a mall. I'm a

1302
00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:28,120
Speaker 2: vale bra. I don't they have the same thing to

1303
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:31,840
Speaker 2: It's corner door Culver City. Check out our Instagram. Actually,

1304
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:34,440
Speaker 2: check out the our bio because the link to our

1305
00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:36,720
Speaker 2: event right is in there. So come hang out. We

1306
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:40,400
Speaker 2: have a special drink, good mom's drink, so cocktail, call

1307
00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:43,720
Speaker 2: the cocktail. It's a good Monse cocktail. Sorry, good Monse cocktail.

1308
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:45,480
Speaker 2: You know it's gonna be tequila based because that's what

1309
00:58:45,560 --> 00:58:55,280
Speaker 2: we drink. Anyway, we'll catch you next time, and bye bye.

1310
00:58:55,320 --> 00:58:56,160
Speaker 1: You got to.

1311
00:58:58,440 --> 00:59:04,040
Speaker 2: Go down. Just the tri says to love, the mine.

1312
00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:11,040
Speaker 1: Sends to leave you, man, So you decide it's true.

1313
00:59:13,960 --> 00:59:16,400
Speaker 1: Never gain anything.