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Speaker 1: My fiance got blazed with our dog, so I'm canceling

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Speaker 1: the wedding and.

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Speaker 2: Kicking her out of my life. Like Scoop, we got

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Speaker 2: to get blazed.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, Scooby and Shaggy were literally the biggest stoners of

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Speaker 1: all time. They're constantly hungry, They're constantly they're live in

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Speaker 1: a hippie van. There's smoke coming out of some of

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Speaker 1: the hippie van like when they like leave, like like

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Speaker 1: they know what they're doing. It is it's they know,

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Speaker 1: and they're stereotyping hippies. You know what I would like

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Speaker 1: to say from the bottom of my heart, let's stop

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Speaker 1: stereotyping hippies.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right. Hippies are not always hungry. They're not

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Speaker 2: always trying to blaze it for twenty Sometimes they're trying

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Speaker 2: to split a little love and peace.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes people in a suit want to just rip a

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Speaker 1: fat dooby exactly what's wrong with that vice versa nothing?

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Speaker 1: It's legalized, that's right here.

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Speaker 2: You're like the girl in Russia got like ten years

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Speaker 2: for bringing a little pod of weed literally pod. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's fucking crazy, dude. Progressing progression, yeah, putin, Why don't

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Speaker 2: you get bladed like I think he got dude. The

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Speaker 2: whole Ukraine rush to conflict would be solved if Putin

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Speaker 2: would just smoke a blunt one thousand percent send Little

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Speaker 2: Wayne hashtag Putin smoke a blunt. That's right, So Little Wayne,

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Speaker 2: no snoop dogg snoop doggs correction correction. I mean, I'm

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Speaker 2: sure Lil Wayne lights.

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Speaker 1: Details a share of a snoop is on a completely

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Speaker 1: different I feel like it is.

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Speaker 2: Just okay, Well, let's get to the story.

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Speaker 1: Me twenty eight male, and my fiance twenty seven female,

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Speaker 1: have been together for four years and engaged for six months,

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Speaker 1: so nothing can go wrong.

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Speaker 2: That can go wrong. Four years that's I feel like,

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Speaker 2: four year to a six month engagement that is like

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Speaker 2: the right time, very solid. Yeah, so far this Reddit

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Speaker 2: story coming out like going cake. Oh.

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Speaker 1: I also have a seven year old lab mix who

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Speaker 1: is the greatest dog in existence. On Saturday, fiance had

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Speaker 1: a bacheolette party at home.

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Speaker 2: I stayed with where you have the bachelorette party. I

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Speaker 2: feel like it's like usually Vegas or Miami.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just you know, getting just that home freaking stripper

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Speaker 1: male stripper dongs just waving on your face you don't

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Speaker 1: want male stripper dongs in your house, you know, sper

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Speaker 1: dongs in your wife's face.

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Speaker 2: I have it be outside the home. You know, you don't

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Speaker 2: want them, know one where she lives. Oh god, you

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Speaker 2: know doing helicopters Like it's like fucking nom flashbacks. We

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Speaker 2: are not lifting off today off. So we aren't. No,

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Speaker 2: we aren't.

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Speaker 1: I stayed with my parents, but I left the dog

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Speaker 1: with her because she likes having the dog there. However,

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Speaker 1: I'm made sure to tell her to put the dog

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Speaker 1: in our bedroom once the.

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Speaker 2: Party gets going. Dude, sounds like this dog is a gremlin.

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Speaker 2: You know. It's like, hey, make sure you don't feed

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Speaker 2: it after midnight. Keep the dog in the bedroom.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like something's about to go wrong here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like it sounds like we like like

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Speaker 2: he knows that his wife is like irresponsible or something. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and he's like, please, please, for the love of God,

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Speaker 2: do not let it out.

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Speaker 1: Put the dog in the We need the dog in

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Speaker 1: their own like sphere of safety. Like so five am

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Speaker 1: on Sunday, So five am on Sunday, I get a

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Speaker 1: frantic call that something has gone drastically wrong with the dog.

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Speaker 2: Why he had one rule. He had one rule. Simple.

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Speaker 2: People can't follow one rule, you know, like in every

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Speaker 2: movie there's like one rule, and then the entire plot

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Speaker 2: of the movie is because they didn't follow that one rule.

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Speaker 2: Like so the Gremlins after midnight and everything will be fine.

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Speaker 2: We're oh, they're hungry. Let's just get it a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Run away from the evil man in the horror movie exactly.

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Speaker 1: You want to investigate. Why why are you all investigation?

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Speaker 2: Bro? You don't need to know what happens because if

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Speaker 2: you find out what happens, what really happens is you die.

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Speaker 2: You you are murdered, donezo. Runaway. That that's our advice

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Speaker 2: from two strong, strapping young men. You know. Fight what

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Speaker 2: was it? Fight? Flight and freeze? Choo's flight flight? Fight

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Speaker 2: or flight? Yeah, fight or flight. There's five there's actually

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Speaker 2: a third one fight fight fight fee. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: This new fangled free freeze is like what deer do,

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Speaker 2: like some people like when they get scared of anyway,

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Speaker 2: Back to the story. Back to the story.

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Speaker 1: Five am on Sunday, I get a frantic call that

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Speaker 1: something's wrong with the dog.

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Speaker 2: The dog is drunk. Damn brom Hey, Hey, why can't

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Speaker 2: it's a bachelor a little you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: If the dogs can't give fucking swat, then so well dude,

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Speaker 2: let him do it. Baby.

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Speaker 1: Wait wait wait oh no no, yeah, yeah it was yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: it was a dog. I was like, wait is it wait,

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Speaker 1: it is the right yes, okay, the.

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Speaker 2: Dog is trying. At least it wasn't like, hey, like

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Speaker 2: I got super drunk class night with your dog and

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Speaker 2: we hooked up peanut butter. I'm marrying the dog. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I put that peanut butter so much. I get cuckolded

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Speaker 2: by my dog. That's the story. That is a that'sn't

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Speaker 2: even better at a story.

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Speaker 1: So I told my fiance to get a taxi and

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Speaker 1: go to the emergency vet clinic. When I got there,

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Speaker 1: she looked like she hadn't stopped crying for hours and

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Speaker 1: she couldn't even speak. Two of her friends were there,

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Speaker 1: so they told me that the dog was alive but

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Speaker 1: not doing very well.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's just how much alcohol did this dog drink?

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Speaker 2: And also like wouldn't the dog be like this doesn't

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Speaker 2: taste good? Like like is it this this dog that

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Speaker 2: much of an alcoholic that it's like fucking finishing a

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Speaker 2: hole tequila bottle. It's just the dog just wants to celebrate.

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Speaker 2: Like the dog want dogs, I just want to have.

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Speaker 2: Come on, bro, dog try to like punch above its weight.

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Speaker 2: This dog is like me in college. It's like I

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Speaker 2: keep drinking with everyone else, even though I had never

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Speaker 2: drunk before. Exactly you know, next day I'm throwing up

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Speaker 2: in the freaking bushes.

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Speaker 1: It's like, uh, when when you celebrate uh turning twenty

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Speaker 1: one with twenty one shots? They had the dog drinking

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Speaker 1: as many shots as it wasn't do dog years.

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Speaker 2: That sog. Yeah, the conversion of shots. Yeah, dog ear shots, Bro,

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Speaker 2: that's how you fucking die.

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Speaker 1: Two of her, two of her friends were there, so

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I felt sorry for her for an

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Speaker 1: entire ten minutes while waiting for the doctor. So it

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Speaker 1: sounds like we got some more tea yet to be spilt.

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Speaker 1: Man has no empathy ten minutes. Seriously, I'll give you

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Speaker 1: ten minutes feeling bad for it.

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Speaker 2: Shreds like my dog ripped into that fucking bottle at

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Speaker 2: the quila.

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Speaker 1: But then the doctor told me my dog invests. My

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Speaker 1: dog ingested large amounts of alcohol and chocolate edibles. Huh, bro,

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Speaker 1: that's a triple wany right now.

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Speaker 2: But like now I'm thinking, like it probably wasn't the

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Speaker 2: alcohol that fucked the dog. It was just the chocolate.

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Speaker 2: It's not even the weed that have the dog. Literally,

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Speaker 2: the only messa was the chocolate. Basically, this dog is high,

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Speaker 2: drunk and poisoned. That's basically where we're at. It sounds

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Speaker 2: like a classic bachelor party. Baby. Yeah, if you're not

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Speaker 2: coming high drunken poison that you didn't live it up

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Speaker 2: on the.

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Speaker 1: Town, that would be like that would be like the

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Speaker 1: fiance like going to your girls, like all right, one

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Speaker 1: shot of tequila, one hit of the blunt, and one

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Speaker 1: tab of cina.

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Speaker 2: Let's go. Yeah, because like like chocolate is literally something. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: so this dog is fucking happened. Like it's like this

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Speaker 2: is like the hangover the worst dog. Airbud hangover addiction.

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Speaker 2: That's amazing. I was so watched that movie. Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: there's like air Bud blows his ladder, Airbud sucks. There's

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Speaker 2: something there's some air airbud. There's like airbud sucks in

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Speaker 2: his last movie or something like there's something with air

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Speaker 2: and smoking airbud Puff puff passed away. There we go

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Speaker 2: there we go. That's it. That's it. Oh god, yo,

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Speaker 2: Dolly too, can we can you? Because that movie poster? Please?

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Speaker 2: This next line is great.

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Speaker 1: The girls apparently thought it would be totally cool and

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Speaker 1: absolutely chill to just leave out all the edibles on

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Speaker 1: the short coffee tables so the dog could wander around

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Speaker 1: instead of putting him in the bedroom.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, totally cool, totally totally chill. Bro like maybe just

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Speaker 2: like four twenty chill. Let the dog just skill a

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Speaker 2: little blaze? What's wrong with that? I honestly don't think

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Speaker 2: there's anything wrong with it? All right? Well, all right,

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Speaker 2: I actually I actually don't think there's anything wrong with

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Speaker 2: your dog getting high? All right? Every fourth of July,

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Speaker 2: we fucking make sure our dog is blazed out of

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Speaker 2: his mind. Really Yeah, yeah, with like dog like dog

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Speaker 2: net or something. Yeah, well no, with like like dog weed,

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Speaker 2: dog weed, dog weed, and like it's like, dude, otherwise

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Speaker 2: our dog is just is is freaking oh because of

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Speaker 2: the fireworks. Yeah, like just just flow.

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Speaker 1: Would you give the dog human weed human marijuana flights

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Speaker 1: with chocolates.

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Speaker 2: Not with chocolate, which if I should, if I should

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Speaker 2: give dog TVD TVD TVD TVD with that THC. So

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Speaker 2: then they got wasted.

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Speaker 1: And they did not notice when the dog was going

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Speaker 1: to town on the booze and edibles staying. This dog

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Speaker 1: is ready to party, dude, This dog is trying to

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Speaker 1: be included.

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Speaker 2: Like the dog knows it's a celebration. Yeah, get it on.

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Speaker 2: Everyone else is freaking drunken their mind. Why not this dog?

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Speaker 2: But just just this is yet another reason that you

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Speaker 2: don't throw a bachelotte party in your home. Go to

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Speaker 2: Vegas exactly exactly, and then bring the dog to the

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Speaker 2: strip club. Save those stripper sausages for the strip clubs. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: not your bedroom, good god, or your living room even more,

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Speaker 2: even worse. When we got home, I told my fiance

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Speaker 2: to pack and get out of the house and my life. Wow,

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Speaker 2: that's right. That feels like a little bit of a

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Speaker 2: like a like it feels like overdoing it. Out of

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Speaker 2: my life. Damn. John always doubles down. There's never a

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Speaker 2: moment where John's like, no, no, let's be reasonable, let's

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Speaker 2: double down. Not only should you be out of my life.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to file a lawsuit right now and I'm

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Speaker 2: going to make sure she gets a lot to prison forever.

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Speaker 2: Get up my dog. We're trifling down. I'm pulling up silently.

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Speaker 1: What what do you mean you had a chance. I

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Speaker 1: told you you had one to you had one thing

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Speaker 1: to do. Now rovers getting put down, So I need

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Speaker 1: to put you down.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I told her and her guests to leave and

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Speaker 1: that the wedding is off.

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Speaker 2: Wait, the guests are here during this whole thing.

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Speaker 1: He's literally like kicking out his wife of their house,

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Speaker 1: their life and telling everyone weddings off.

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Speaker 2: It's over, It's all over. I feel like like this

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Speaker 2: guy's just looking for an excuse to get out. That's great,

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Speaker 2: that's great, that seems like I mean, yeah, you're just important,

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Speaker 2: right of course. But like if like your dog's also

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Speaker 2: the dogs are not dead, it's okay, Like the dog's

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Speaker 2: gonna be okay.

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Speaker 1: Maybe even if the dog died, it's like it's more

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Speaker 1: of a conversation than like a yeah, instant reaction.

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Speaker 2: I feel like the dog dying makes it like I

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Speaker 2: would understand the emotional reaction, even if it's not justified.

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Speaker 2: It's like that, yeah, in the moment, the dog didn't

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Speaker 2: die and it's gonna be okay.

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Speaker 1: Well, I think it's like still in the hospital. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So we're not sure. We're not sure. Life is on

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Speaker 1: the line and the relationship is on the line. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she was shocked. My fiance was shocked, but took her

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Speaker 1: things and got the f out of their.

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Speaker 2: Damn bro he is like mad.

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Speaker 1: Two hours later, I got bumped bartered by messages on

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Speaker 1: messenger WhatsApp by her sister's brother, brother's wife, her mom,

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Speaker 1: and her friends.

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Speaker 2: The whole gang is after him.

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Speaker 1: Telling me that I am insane to do this to

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Speaker 1: her after four years of our relationship.

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Speaker 2: Hey, but four years of that relationship ain't gonna bring

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Speaker 2: my dog back.

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Speaker 1: Hey, Poochie, I got Puccie for seven Yeah, what are

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Speaker 1: you gonna do?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, Poochi over Coucie. That's what.

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Speaker 1: They started off defending her, but quickly it turned into

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Speaker 1: insulting me.

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Speaker 2: What what what you're taking Pucci over Coucie. I see wow,

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Speaker 2: what's your insult? My best insult? What do you what

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Speaker 2: do you say? Like? Hey Dick, we Hey you fucking dubby?

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Speaker 2: Why are you choosing? Why are you choosing the dog

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Speaker 2: over my sister? Bro f your dog over f and

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Speaker 2: my sister. Yeah that's right.

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Speaker 1: Someone likes that pooci a little too much, am I right?

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Speaker 2: Stick with what are you doing with that her beetut

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Speaker 2: butter all alone in your house? Now? Stick with my

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Speaker 2: sister's couchie. And that's that end of discussion. There you go.

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Speaker 2: That's my best insult, I think, I I yeah, great, great.

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Speaker 1: The logical thing for me to do was look for

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Speaker 1: comfort in my friends and family. Nope, they that's not logical.

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Speaker 1: They all effing agree. My mom said, well, it was

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Speaker 1: a mistake. She didn't do it on purpose. Besides, the

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Speaker 1: dog didn't die.

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Speaker 2: The dog didn't die. So now we know the dog

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Speaker 2: didn't die. Yeah, and she didn't do it on purpose.

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Speaker 2: Opius is great, lucky me a, Oh my dog didn't

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Speaker 2: effing die. It's all okay, But this kind of true.

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Speaker 2: I mean it is true, it's not okay. Like like,

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Speaker 2: but how many times a day do all you almost die? Like? So,

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Speaker 2: there's so many times you could almost die.

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Speaker 1: There's there's many opportunities getting in the car crossing the street.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know, I don't know. I think if

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Speaker 2: you don't die, then it's okay.

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Speaker 1: My sister was appalled that I canceled the wedding over

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Speaker 1: there over.

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Speaker 2: That easy, easy thing dog death. And even and even

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Speaker 2: my best men, and even my best man said, I

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Speaker 2: might have overreacted, canceled. Can't take a take him out

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Speaker 2: of the friend your best man dogs, he got you

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Speaker 2: and your dog's back. He's fucking dog. Make the dog

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Speaker 2: your best MAT's right.

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Speaker 1: Yes, our relationship has had ups and downs, but it's

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Speaker 1: mostly worked out fine. But I am so disgusted at

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Speaker 1: my fiance that I can't even imagine looking her in

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Speaker 1: the eye, let alone disgusted.

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Speaker 2: It's not like she cheated on you with the dog

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Speaker 2: like she like acts. Well, I guess we don't know.

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Speaker 2: We don't listen. Hey, what happens when you're high stays

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Speaker 2: when you're high, you know, and it happens in the

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Speaker 2: bachelorette party. While high and drunk stays in the bachelor

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Speaker 2: Things happen, That's all I'm saying. Things happened. Things happened, dude.

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Speaker 2: Bachelotte parties are a cesspool for eating. Yes, it's so bad.

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Speaker 2: If we've read any Reddit stories, we've realized that bachelorotte party.

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Speaker 2: Nothing good happens in bachelotte parties. Either you get cheated

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Speaker 2: on or your dog.

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Speaker 1: Dies, particularly the only two on Mexico or Las Vegas.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, like that.

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Speaker 1: It's literally a guarantee. Yeah, Miami, Yeah, any of those places.

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Speaker 1: It's your daughter. I am so disgusted at my fiance.

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Speaker 1: I can't even imagine looking her in the eye, let

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Speaker 1: alone spending.

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Speaker 2: My entire life with her. To him, she is aning seventeen,

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Speaker 2: she's twenty seven. That's a ten year six geez. By

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Speaker 2: the way, by the way, this is not the first

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Speaker 2: dumb thing that she's done. She's she's done more than

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Speaker 2: one dumb thing, Sam, Yeah, more than one. Opie's never

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Speaker 2: done a dumb thing in his life, that's right. Opie's

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Speaker 2: dumb dumb ticker is at zero nada.

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Speaker 1: She likes to text while driving idiots, and she always

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Speaker 1: and she always leaves stuff on the electric stove, like

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Speaker 1: kitching towels, the cutting board, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, especially when she's cooking meals for me.

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Speaker 1: Even though she's turned on even though she's turned on

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Speaker 1: the wrong burner and burnt whatever was on the burner

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Speaker 1: several times in the past, and similar dangerous things.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, man's calling out, laying it down. That's bad, bro.

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Speaker 2: I would want to be married to this guy, dude.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely not, absolutely not It's not something that I hold

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Speaker 1: against her in the sense would I would even mention

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Speaker 1: it in a fight.

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Speaker 2: Oh what are you talking this? You're like, no, if

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Speaker 2: this is not the first time, he's definitely holy get

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Speaker 2: against her. If anyone has ever held against anything, it's

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Speaker 2: this guy. This guy is a whole. This guy could

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Speaker 2: bench three hundred pounds with how much he's holding against her.

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Speaker 2: My wife, My wife left a cloth and the burner

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Speaker 2: and it burns. So I'm divorcing her divorce evidence a

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Speaker 2: divorce court. Yeah, but I would be lying if I

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Speaker 2: said I wasn't worried that she might end up on

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Speaker 2: aliving herself or someone else, for example, my dog. What

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Speaker 2: do you talk dude? This guy is what you're You're psychotic,

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Speaker 2: You're a maniac. I don't understand this.

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Speaker 1: I am ninety nine percent sure I will stand by

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Speaker 1: my decision.

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Speaker 2: But am I really the ahole? Like?

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Speaker 1: Literally, nobody's on my side and I have no idea

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Speaker 1: what to think.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you are the a hole, but like, it just

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Speaker 2: sounds like you don't love this girl man Like if

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Speaker 2: you're too in your dog almost dying over this girl,

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Speaker 2: like it's probably not the right relationship for you.

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Speaker 1: Your priorities are completely misaligned, like literally all over the place.

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Speaker 1: You need to sit and think, Okay, I get you

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Speaker 1: love your dog, but it's your dog over your potential

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Speaker 1: fiance and you just instantly cancel the wedding and the

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Speaker 1: dog is still alive.

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Speaker 2: Bro, it's dude, it's because it's this is not the

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Speaker 2: right relationship man, like like like, dude, you have to

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Speaker 2: find someone. I find someone you love more than you.

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Speaker 2: I think it's just him. I think he will do

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Speaker 2: this in any relationship. I think that that's I'm completely speculating,

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Speaker 2: of course, but that's that's my that's my take. That's well,

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Speaker 2: then he deserves to be alone with his dog. Have

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Speaker 2: fun dying alone. Opaci