Speaker 1: Who baby a bay beloved. I need you, Oh hell,
Speaker 1: I need you what to expect? As a production of
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio. I'm your host Heidi Mrko, and I'm
Speaker 1: a mom on a mission, a mission to help you
Speaker 1: know what to expect every step of the way. Chances
Speaker 1: are you already know how to make a baby, and
Speaker 1: you probably always assumed that getting the job done was
Speaker 1: pretty straightforward. Have lots of unprotected sex, get pregnant? But
Speaker 1: then you enter baby making mode, and all of a
Speaker 1: sudden you hear that there are books devoted to getting pregnant,
Speaker 1: I have one, websites and message boards, ditto, even an
Speaker 1: acronym for couples trying to conceive t TC. Sure you've
Speaker 1: been having sex for years, and you've probably gotten pretty
Speaker 1: good at it it, But now you may be wondering,
Speaker 1: does baby making sex have to be all that different
Speaker 1: from just for fun sex? Can you just keep doing
Speaker 1: it whenever wherever? Does position matter, timing, your choice of
Speaker 1: lubricants and his choice of underwear? Or is it just
Speaker 1: as easy as pulling the plug on protection and getting busy?
Speaker 1: Are you ready to make a baby? Then get ready.
Speaker 1: Today we'll be separating fact from fiction and giving you
Speaker 1: the truth about trying to conceive. I'm here with Emma, Hey,
Speaker 1: and Emma as we all know. Um, I didn't have
Speaker 1: to try too hard to conceive you how I was
Speaker 1: meant to be. You were in oops. However, your brother
Speaker 1: took some effort. Um, we we were actually trying, and
Speaker 1: it took some effort from Eric because he had a terrible, terrible,
Speaker 1: terrible cold headache, fever, and I was ovulating, and I said, okay,
Speaker 1: let's go time, we're gonna make a baby. And um,
Speaker 1: God bless him. He rose to the occasion, no pun intended,
Speaker 1: no pun intended, and and we have white. But the
Speaker 1: funny thing was that why, from the time he was
Speaker 1: born had a running nose. So I always pictured this
Speaker 1: sperm like sickly sperm with a running nose, try trying
Speaker 1: to get to the egg. But anyway, so when you
Speaker 1: were trying to conceive, what were your preconceptions about that. Well,
Speaker 1: when my first I tried to conceive for like six
Speaker 1: months and then I ended up having to do IVF.
Speaker 1: But with my second one, I had just met my
Speaker 1: now husband. We got engaged after three months of dating,
Speaker 1: and then we went to Vegas. After our engagement and
Speaker 1: you know what we we we stopped you. You know, honestly,
Speaker 1: I don't think we ever used a condom and that's
Speaker 1: really bad advice. And don't listen to me on this,
Speaker 1: but no, please don't listen to emma. Um. But when
Speaker 1: we got engaged, I was like, just come inside of me,
Speaker 1: it's fine whatever, and so he did, and, um, come inside.
Speaker 1: The water is fine, the water is fine, the cervical
Speaker 1: mucus is fine. And you know, honestly, I always track
Speaker 1: my periods um with my my app, and my app
Speaker 1: had said I had ovulated like five days ago. So
Speaker 1: we went to Vegas and we just had a ton
Speaker 1: of fun. We had copious amounts of sex all day
Speaker 1: long and surprised. Two weeks later, I was in um
Speaker 1: Costco and we walked by the fish and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm gonna throw up. Get me out
Speaker 1: of here. And then I took a pregnancy test. My
Speaker 1: friends like take a pregnancy test, so I was like no,
Speaker 1: like no, I had IVF the first time, There's no
Speaker 1: way I'm pregnant. And sure enough I was pregnant. So
Speaker 1: I had both extremes. I had a hard time getting
Speaker 1: pregnant and then I had a what happens in Vegas
Speaker 1: doesn't stay in Vegas kind of Sebby did not stay
Speaker 1: in Vegas. He came home with you. He came home.
Speaker 1: And honestly, I think that T T C sex is
Speaker 1: kind of in a way, it kind of prepares you
Speaker 1: for parenthood because schedule found It's profound. It's so true.
Speaker 1: It's it's a scheduled thing. And when you have children,
Speaker 1: you can't just have sex on the couch. I mean
Speaker 1: you could, but that's probably illegal. Well, there's there's probably
Speaker 1: too many crumbs on the couch exactly, making days when
Speaker 1: you could have sex on the couch and crumbs weren't
Speaker 1: a big deal. You just went for it anyway, and
Speaker 1: there was a different kind of sticky on the couch, Yes,
Speaker 1: and on the kitchen counter. We once had sex in
Speaker 1: the refrigerator. Yes, that happens. It's a thing. That's a
Speaker 1: good way to chill out. So we're gonna we're gonna
Speaker 1: cover all of that today. So so look out, it's coming. Literally,
Speaker 1: we're gonna take a quick break and when we come back,
Speaker 1: I'm answering the biggest questions you have about trying to
Speaker 1: conceive beyond the obvious, So mom, one of the best
Speaker 1: ways for a woman to know that she's ovulating or
Speaker 1: getting ready to opulate, ah, the big oh, or I
Speaker 1: guess we can call it the other big oh. I
Speaker 1: think you should definitely mix both bigs if you can.
Speaker 1: It's gonna make baby making more fun. You already know this.
Speaker 1: You already know this. But ovulation is when that egg
Speaker 1: that's been ripening in your ovar that you hope is
Speaker 1: going to become your baby is going to be released.
Speaker 1: It's getting ready to be released and getting ready to
Speaker 1: be fertilized. Now, you can't get pregnant without ovulating. That
Speaker 1: just can't happen because you need the egg. But you
Speaker 1: can get pregnant without ever knowing that you're ovulating. Uh.
Speaker 1: Certainly happened in my case the first time. You know. Truthfully,
Speaker 1: if you have sex at least a few times a
Speaker 1: week in your normal, everyday life, then you're probably gonna
Speaker 1: hit baby bingo at some point. But knowing when you're
Speaker 1: about to ovulate does boost your odds, and that's why
Speaker 1: everybody is so focused on it when they're t TC.
Speaker 1: That way, you can be sure that there are plenty
Speaker 1: of sperm who will be ready, willing, able, and waiting
Speaker 1: at the gate, and that if you're having sex for
Speaker 1: three days up to and on ovulation day, and then
Speaker 1: it'll be more likely to score that fertilized egg. Now,
Speaker 1: if you have a regular cycle, it's really pretty easy
Speaker 1: to estimate ovulation. It's typically not definitely always about fourteen
Speaker 1: days before your period is do so all you have
Speaker 1: to do is count ahead or count back and you're there.
Speaker 1: Then count three days before the big oh, and pencil
Speaker 1: in sex for the next four days. Remember you're trying
Speaker 1: to pinpoint ovulation, so you can start your baby dancing
Speaker 1: sex about three days before and continue preferably once a
Speaker 1: day every day up to ovulation day and on the
Speaker 1: day of ovulation. But if you're curious, your body does
Speaker 1: give you other hints about when the big O is coming.
Speaker 1: We can't talk about ovulation without talking about cervical mucus,
Speaker 1: known in the t TC circles sc M, and it's
Speaker 1: one of those bodily substances you'll want to get up
Speaker 1: close and personal with as you go about the business
Speaker 1: of baby making. Typically you don't, there's really no need
Speaker 1: to dig deep for cervical mucus it's usually going to
Speaker 1: show up on your undis or on the t P
Speaker 1: and maybe once in a while if you're not producing
Speaker 1: a lot, you might have to insert a clean finger
Speaker 1: to get a feel for it, but it helps know
Speaker 1: what you're looking for. CM changes during your cycle. When
Speaker 1: you're not fertile, it's going to be dry and sticky
Speaker 1: and pasty, sometimes creamy, depending on where your cycle you are,
Speaker 1: and you might not even notice it at all. But
Speaker 1: when you're fertile, your CM will be slippery, and that's
Speaker 1: no surprise because your body has got your back here
Speaker 1: and is providing lubrication for sex and the best possible
Speaker 1: swimming conditions for the sperm. I really hope that none
Speaker 1: of you had an omelet for breakfast this morning. But
Speaker 1: what's fertile CM feels like is really like an egg white.
Speaker 1: It's clear, stretchy. If you put some between your fingers,
Speaker 1: how's that for fun in the bathroom, It's gonna stretch,
Speaker 1: and it's gonna stretch without breaking. By the way, don't
Speaker 1: confuse that slippery substance for the lubrication you might normally
Speaker 1: have when you're sexually aroused. But no worries. It's fine
Speaker 1: to have both at the same time. Now here's a
Speaker 1: fun c M fact, because I know we're having fun
Speaker 1: with our CM. Fertile cervical mucus tends to leave a
Speaker 1: circular shape on your underwear, whereas that's interesting, I didn't
Speaker 1: know that, Yeah, so check out your underwear, whereas non
Speaker 1: fertile cervical mucus is more likely to take the form
Speaker 1: of a rectangle. Mhmm. So if you're still curious, and
Speaker 1: I'm sure you are about your cervix, and you're ready
Speaker 1: to do some further investigation and maybe a deeper dive.
Speaker 1: During most of your cycle, your cervix is firm. It
Speaker 1: feels like the tip of your nose. It's closed, and
Speaker 1: it's low in your vagina. As ovulation approaches, it opens
Speaker 1: slightly and it becomes soft like your lips. At that
Speaker 1: point it's ready to welcome those sperm. Now, some women
Speaker 1: get other clues. I always got a crampy feeling on
Speaker 1: my lower abdomen. It's on one side. It's usually the
Speaker 1: side that you're ovulating. Um. Not everybody gets it, but
Speaker 1: if you get it might last for a few hours,
Speaker 1: maybe longer, And that's probably the egg getting ready for go. Time,
Speaker 1: or I get nauseous, there's there's some I think everything
Speaker 1: makes you nauseous, So you might know. Everybody has their
Speaker 1: own set of symptoms of signs. If you're checking also
Speaker 1: checking down there, you might notice that your vaginal lips
Speaker 1: might be swollen when you're ovulating. Okay, so you've you've
Speaker 1: been deep diving already. I play with my mucus. Yea,
Speaker 1: that's how I know. Sorry, as long as you wash
Speaker 1: your hands. Some women, of course have some light spotting
Speaker 1: when they're ovulating. And then there's your temperature, and this
Speaker 1: is can be kind of a pain to check, especially
Speaker 1: with a thermometer. You can't use a regular digital thermometer.
Speaker 1: You have to use a special thermometer because it's going
Speaker 1: to be a slight rise in temperature. Or there's also
Speaker 1: now there's so many devices you can wear and there's
Speaker 1: so many options. But your baseline temperature is going to
Speaker 1: bump up a day or two after ovulation, which won't
Speaker 1: help you that month, but if you're tracking it over
Speaker 1: a few months, it's going to help you predict population.
Speaker 1: Or you know, you can let technology do all the
Speaker 1: work for you and you definitely don't have to use
Speaker 1: any of those devices to get pregnant. But there are
Speaker 1: tons and tons of options out there that that are
Speaker 1: designed to help you pinpoint ovulation population predictor kits THO
Speaker 1: p k is, their fertility monitors, their Surviva test. There's watches,
Speaker 1: fertility watches, there's fertility tracker bracelet. It's like fitbits. I mean,
Speaker 1: you name it. You can buy it and use it
Speaker 1: to predict ovulation if you want to, I mean, if
Speaker 1: you want to weigh out the cash because they can
Speaker 1: be pretty pricey. There is way more information than I
Speaker 1: can give here about these devices and I could ever
Speaker 1: give you right now, so you can find out more
Speaker 1: on what to expect dot com, what to expect app
Speaker 1: and also in what to expect before you're expecting. Okay, mom,
Speaker 1: let's play a little game of true or false baby making. Addition,
Speaker 1: are you ready, oh born ready? First, there's only a
Speaker 1: few days a month that you can actually get pregnant.
Speaker 1: Is that true? Well, that's true, ish, So I would
Speaker 1: not recommend taking taking it to the bank if you're
Speaker 1: trying not to get pregnant. As you found out, Emma,
Speaker 1: you know your cycles aren't always what you think they are.
Speaker 1: But if you're t tc. The chances are best for
Speaker 1: conception in the three days leading up to and including
Speaker 1: the day of ovulation. That's your very very most fertile time.
Speaker 1: But it's not the only time. Sperm. The little guys
Speaker 1: can actually hang around waiting for an egg for up
Speaker 1: to five days and sometimes even longer. And eggs, on
Speaker 1: the other hand, have a shelf life of only twelve
Speaker 1: to twenty four hours. So to make sure you're covered,
Speaker 1: you want to have sex five days before ovulation and
Speaker 1: the day of ovulation. If you wait until the day after,
Speaker 1: then your egg window is going to have shut clothes
Speaker 1: for the month, unless, of course, you've got that ovulation
Speaker 1: date wrong. Now, on the other hand, there is absolutely
Speaker 1: no reason why if you normally have sex every day,
Speaker 1: just keep keep on, keeping on, because that'll get you
Speaker 1: pregnant just as easily. Oh those were the days. But
Speaker 1: this time of day matter. Well, any time it's a
Speaker 1: good time for sex. I think it's best to do
Speaker 1: it when you're in the mood. Some research has shown
Speaker 1: that men have higher sperm levels in the morning. Damn it,
Speaker 1: my husband always wants have sex in the morning. Well,
Speaker 1: that that's true. There's something to be said for that.
Speaker 1: But other research has shown that sperm level levels are
Speaker 1: higher in the afternoon, so your results may vary. One
Speaker 1: time that it is a good time is when you're
Speaker 1: watching a sexy movie. And not only because it puts
Speaker 1: you in the mood, you can put both of you
Speaker 1: in the mood, but because it can actually improve a
Speaker 1: guy's sperm quality. So yeah, just push play and get busy.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, on that couch or the fridge, or the fridge,
Speaker 1: just not the hot tub. We'll cout do that later. Okay,
Speaker 1: So you should have sex every day when you're ovulating.
Speaker 1: But is it true that the more times a day,
Speaker 1: the better your chances of getting pregnant falls. Actually, this
Speaker 1: is a case of more is not more, So ejaculating
Speaker 1: more than once a day can be counter productive in
Speaker 1: the sperm department. Yeah, concept only takes one sperm, but
Speaker 1: there are strength and numbers, and those numbers are higher
Speaker 1: if a guy keeps to the one a day rule. Now,
Speaker 1: that's because his troops need a chance to build back
Speaker 1: up between deployments and any ejaculation counts. So, um, guys,
Speaker 1: I'm talking to you. That means no solo activities. Hands
Speaker 1: off the merchandise, Is it true that women look sexier
Speaker 1: to their partners when they're ovulating. This is actually true.
Speaker 1: Women's faces, in a very subtle way, become more attractive
Speaker 1: to their partners, um when they're ovulating, and interestingly enough,
Speaker 1: only to their partners, not to other guys. And that's
Speaker 1: that's probably a good thing. Something else you might not notice,
Speaker 1: but his sperm will notice this the sound of your voice.
Speaker 1: Your voice becomes sexier when you're ovulating, at least to
Speaker 1: your man. What's so the more you know? What about
Speaker 1: those pheromones? True or false? That the way you smell
Speaker 1: changes when you're ovulating. Actually that's true, and it works
Speaker 1: both ways. So you smell more attractive to him when
Speaker 1: you're ovulating, and you're more attracted to his smell as well.
Speaker 1: Not that you're gonna go sniffing around his armpits in public,
Speaker 1: but you might suddenly have an unexpected urge to do that,
Speaker 1: So just watch out. Sometimes I do, sometimes I do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So you're probably ovulating, and you're just going to find
Speaker 1: his smell sexier when it's go time. You might not
Speaker 1: notice that you do, but you will. Um. And plus,
Speaker 1: because your sense of smell is so much more acute
Speaker 1: when you're ovulating, you're more likely to pick up that
Speaker 1: that manly scent. And I'm not talking about old spice.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about his you know guy smell. Oh not
Speaker 1: are all? Okay? So this one actually I I got
Speaker 1: pregnant um with Sebastian after I ovulated. So this next
Speaker 1: tour or false kind of rings true to well or
Speaker 1: did you? Yes? It does? Yes, it does. And if
Speaker 1: I want to have a girl, I should have sex before. Okay.
Speaker 1: What about all the ways people say you can control
Speaker 1: the sex of your baby during conception. I've heard that
Speaker 1: if you want to conceive a boy, have sex right
Speaker 1: before ovulation, and if you want a girl, do it
Speaker 1: a few days before. Is any of this true? Okay?
Speaker 1: So there are a few methods that you'll find online,
Speaker 1: and people swear by them, right because sometimes they work.
Speaker 1: They have a fifty fifty chance of working, just like
Speaker 1: you have a fifty fifty chance in any other time.
Speaker 1: The one you're talking about, Emma, is based on the
Speaker 1: theory that boy sperm swim faster but fizzle out faster.
Speaker 1: You can draw any conclusions you want about that. So
Speaker 1: if you want to boy this this method claim games
Speaker 1: that you should just have sex right before or on
Speaker 1: the day of ovulation, and then if you want a girl.
Speaker 1: Girls are slower swimmers, um, but they're hardier, so they
Speaker 1: take their time getting to destination egg, but they're stronger
Speaker 1: to the finish. So for girl, this theory goes that
Speaker 1: you should start having sex three to five days before ovulation.
Speaker 1: And there's even some theories about like your your baby's
Speaker 1: gender is what you eat. So there were some research
Speaker 1: that wasn't really backed up that said if you eat
Speaker 1: a lot of you know, if you eat your wheaties
Speaker 1: or other kinds of cereal or grains, you're more likely
Speaker 1: to have a boy. And if you eat lots of
Speaker 1: dairy products like yogurt, you're more likely to have a girl.
Speaker 1: But um, the dairy is good for your bones, but
Speaker 1: it's it's not now, Yeah, it's not gonna work. I
Speaker 1: mean it might have a fifty chance of working. Look,
Speaker 1: I believe even the girl method. My husband wants a daughter,
Speaker 1: so that's my you know, go to for one day.
Speaker 1: Be careful what you wish for, slid them, be careful
Speaker 1: what you wish for. Sure, false position matters when you're
Speaker 1: trying to conceive, So that's a little bit true. So
Speaker 1: the bottom line, or I guess the top line, is
Speaker 1: that as long as sperm from your partner is deposited
Speaker 1: close to your cervix, you're in business. Healthy sperm are
Speaker 1: really really good swimmers, and they swim impressively well even upstream,
Speaker 1: and they're motivated. Those little guys are motivated. Plus it
Speaker 1: only takes one to seal the deal. But all of
Speaker 1: that said, if you want to give those little guys
Speaker 1: every advantage and a headstart and a boost from gravity,
Speaker 1: you know, in theory you might be better off on
Speaker 1: with him on top, on your back, with your hips
Speaker 1: slightly a elevated. You don't want to elevate your hips
Speaker 1: too much because in the sperm are going to shoot
Speaker 1: right past your cervix and miss it entirely. Um men. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well the girls sperm to um and you don't. I mean,
Speaker 1: this is not a muss do either, But you if
Speaker 1: you're really trying to keep this sworm on target, you
Speaker 1: might want to avoid positions that that inherently let them
Speaker 1: leak out, like you on top or both of you
Speaker 1: standing up. But the reality is you can get pregnant
Speaker 1: in any position, as many couples have discovered without even trying,
Speaker 1: and you're more likely to keep up with your t
Speaker 1: TC sex if it doesn't become whole hum like a routine.
Speaker 1: And so I say, you know, forget about those swimmers
Speaker 1: and choose the position that floats your love boat. Oh
Speaker 1: but speaking of swimming, there is one place not to
Speaker 1: do it, and that is underwater in a bathtub for instance.
Speaker 1: It can water down serve coal mucus, which you need
Speaker 1: the sperm need to get to their target, So it's
Speaker 1: not ideal. I don't like water sex, so I'm fine there.
Speaker 1: I have to agree with you there. Um, I think
Speaker 1: it hurts it, probably because you become more dry ironically
Speaker 1: in water, feel like it's the pressure of the water.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Okay, so true or false. Having an
Speaker 1: orgasm can help you get pregnant, Well, it's a it's
Speaker 1: must do for guys obviously, um, but it's not a
Speaker 1: must do for mom. So I highly recommend it. But yeah,
Speaker 1: the guys, the guy's gotta have an orgasm on this
Speaker 1: part of it. Can men actually influence their sperm swimming
Speaker 1: abilities by what they eat? Well, that's true. I mean
Speaker 1: sperm really are what they eat. Um so brightly colored
Speaker 1: fruits and veggies can make them swim faster. So does coffee,
Speaker 1: so he might want to consider a cup of Joe
Speaker 1: before sex. Now THHC. On the other hand, whether you
Speaker 1: know from weed, if it's his system or it's in
Speaker 1: your system and it actually lasted your your system for
Speaker 1: it can last for um several months, that makes slacker sperm,
Speaker 1: so you want to avoid that. But you know how
Speaker 1: they say moms should take a women who want to
Speaker 1: become a mom should take a prenatal vitamin. Absolutely, they
Speaker 1: should for at least three months. But social dad's because
Speaker 1: that's going to increase the sperm quality. Now, you didn't
Speaker 1: ask about headstands, but maybe you'd like to talk about
Speaker 1: headstands after sex. So remember in the What to Expect movie,
Speaker 1: the Elizabeth Banks character is doing that like super aggressive
Speaker 1: t TC routine, and um, one of the things she
Speaker 1: does is after sex, she like pretty much does a
Speaker 1: hand a headstand so that you know the sperm are
Speaker 1: gonna get a running start and not drip out. There's
Speaker 1: some truth to that is, you know, if you elevate
Speaker 1: your hips, keep them elevated after sex instead of um,
Speaker 1: jumping up out of bed and going going to pee
Speaker 1: that you might waste a few sperm, but you've got
Speaker 1: to remember that ejaculation is a pretty powerful force. Um,
Speaker 1: guys know this all too well. So the little dribbles
Speaker 1: that inevitably drip out, they weren't destined for greatness anyway. So,
Speaker 1: I mean, you can do the headstands, but they're they're
Speaker 1: totally optional. But Eli Elizabeth Banks, Elizabeth Banks character got
Speaker 1: pregnant when she wasn't trying when they had sex in
Speaker 1: the park, So well, there you go. Also, I also
Speaker 1: feel like you can get pregnant. You can probably get
Speaker 1: pregnant from pre come. You know, yes you can. That's
Speaker 1: something your mother may have warned you about. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: the pulling out thing does not not necessarily that that
Speaker 1: was our method before. I was like, come inside me.
Speaker 1: So are lubricants actually sperm killers? And more importantly, you
Speaker 1: know my go to is just spit, So it's spit
Speaker 1: a sperm killer. That's really good to know, Emma, that's
Speaker 1: something I didn't know about you. So, um, you're welcome. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's easy, it's actually it's well, you have it on
Speaker 1: hand all the time. So it is true that most
Speaker 1: lubricants are fertility unfriendly. There is one called precede that
Speaker 1: is sperm friendly. So if you're used that with my
Speaker 1: first um when I was trying, yeah, well it's it's
Speaker 1: the one love that you can uh that you should
Speaker 1: look for when you're trying to make a baby. But
Speaker 1: the spit, let's get to the spit saliva is actually
Speaker 1: a sperm killer too. You'd think that all bodily fluids
Speaker 1: would just get along, but in fact they don't. So
Speaker 1: if you're trying to conceive, don't use spit to lubricate.
Speaker 1: I mean, I probably didn't vegas, so it's not one
Speaker 1: hot Okay, Well, here's a good thing to remember. You
Speaker 1: can get pregnant no matter what you do or don't do,
Speaker 1: so let's keep that in mind. Yeah, but if you're
Speaker 1: trying where this is about trying. This isn't about me.
Speaker 1: This is about trying to conceive. So if you're trying
Speaker 1: to conceive, not an oopsie daisies like I had, don't
Speaker 1: you spit use precede. That's the bottom one, that's the takeaway,
Speaker 1: that's the money shot boxers or briefs. So the facts
Speaker 1: definitely favor boxers, which is a good thing for me. Yeah, yeah, totally.
Speaker 1: I I favor them too. Um, the tidy Whitey's whatever
Speaker 1: else you want to say about them, can keep the
Speaker 1: scrotum pushed up against the body where the boys can
Speaker 1: become overheated, and that potentially lower sperm count and lowers quality.
Speaker 1: And the same goes for anything's bandex so don't box
Speaker 1: them in were boxers and loose fitting workout clothes. Another
Speaker 1: thing to remember if you're trying to protect the family jewels,
Speaker 1: which you should um from overheating. He should stay out
Speaker 1: of the hot tub, the steam room, the sauna. He
Speaker 1: shouldn't do hot yoga when he's actively t TC, and
Speaker 1: not to mention tanning beds. Tanning beds are definitely a
Speaker 1: no no for guys who are trying to conceive, and
Speaker 1: the same goes for laptops or tablets that might overheat
Speaker 1: when a guy keeps them on his lap, So he
Speaker 1: should definitely make his um laptop a desktop while he's
Speaker 1: trying to conceive. By the way, none of these precautions
Speaker 1: applied to women who are trying to conceive. They apply
Speaker 1: after she becomes pregnant, so overheating is not safe after
Speaker 1: you become pregnant, but before you become Pregnant's fine, So
Speaker 1: he kind of just hands the baton over to you, like, Okay,
Speaker 1: these are my roles, now they're yours. And while he's
Speaker 1: skipping the spandex, which I also appreciate, he should also
Speaker 1: consider skipping mountain biking or spinning or even really serious
Speaker 1: stationary bike riding because it can put too much pressure
Speaker 1: on the genital air and not the good kind of pressure,
Speaker 1: so that can impact fertility. Is it really best to
Speaker 1: take a home pregnancy test first thing in the morning, Well,
Speaker 1: it's it's not almost do it says a right there
Speaker 1: on the package that you can use any time of
Speaker 1: the day urine, but first morning urine is more concentrated,
Speaker 1: so you're more likely to get an accurate result of
Speaker 1: positive result even when you're testing super super early, because
Speaker 1: even really really tiny amounts of hCG are more likely
Speaker 1: to show up when you have concentrated urine. On the
Speaker 1: flip side, don't take an early early test just after
Speaker 1: downing a big gulp because your p is going to
Speaker 1: be more watered down, so why not give your urine
Speaker 1: a the best shot possible. I took um my pregnancy test.
Speaker 1: My first one was sevy mid day and it was positive.
Speaker 1: Then I went to my doctor's office a few hours
Speaker 1: later and I took another test because I had drink
Speaker 1: a big bottle of water um in the car, and
Speaker 1: it was negative and he said it was because it
Speaker 1: was water down, So exactly, exactly, And yeah, the earlier
Speaker 1: you test the less eight c G, which is the
Speaker 1: hormone that home pregnancy tests are testing for, the less
Speaker 1: you have in your urine. So if you you know,
Speaker 1: if you have a positive result, that means you're positively pregnant.
Speaker 1: But if you have a negative result, you might just
Speaker 1: be testing too early or your p might be too
Speaker 1: water down. True or false. It takes most couples three
Speaker 1: months or less to conceive. That is false. It takes
Speaker 1: the average healthy, fully fertile couple on average of six
Speaker 1: to twelve months of active trying to hit baby bingo.
Speaker 1: So it can happen on the first tribe, but it
Speaker 1: definitely doesn't always. That said, if if you feel like
Speaker 1: the biological clock is ticking, if you're over thirty five,
Speaker 1: check in with your doctor after three to six months,
Speaker 1: don't wait the full twelve months. If you're over thirty eight,
Speaker 1: check in after three months and if you're over forty,
Speaker 1: it makes sense to check in with the doctor right
Speaker 1: from the start, or better still, even before you start
Speaker 1: trying to conceive, just to put time on your side.
Speaker 1: And when we come back, it's helped me Hidi. And
Speaker 1: now it's time for help me Hidi. We're all answer
Speaker 1: you're pressing pregnancy, parenting and yes, t TC questions, no
Speaker 1: holds barred, no filter allowed, t am I, no such thing.
Speaker 1: You are not alone. Motherhood is the ultimate sisterhood. So
Speaker 1: is hopeful motherhood the ultimate sisterhood. And we're here to
Speaker 1: help a sister out Emma who needs help today. So
Speaker 1: this comes from a listener who says, my husband and
Speaker 1: I are trying to get pregnant, but the constant thought
Speaker 1: of getting the timing of having sex right and even
Speaker 1: having to enough sex is stressing us both out. Has
Speaker 1: been going on for three months now. How can stress
Speaker 1: effect getting pregnant and how can we feel less stressed
Speaker 1: about the whole process. So it sounds like the two
Speaker 1: of you have stumbled into the rut that many hopeful
Speaker 1: parents find themselves eventually stuck in when sex becomes a
Speaker 1: means towards an end instead of a means towards a
Speaker 1: happy ending when romance takes a back seat to filling
Speaker 1: that back seat with a car seat, When your time
Speaker 1: as a twosome is constantly preoccupied with becoming a threesome
Speaker 1: or a morsome, all work and no play makes any
Speaker 1: romantic relationship, even one that you to be all fun
Speaker 1: all the time doll monotonous and between all the monitoring
Speaker 1: and scheduling and checklists of conception dues and don't so
Speaker 1: so stressful. So good news is that scoring a baby
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be a bore or a chore, and
Speaker 1: it definitely shouldn't stress you out. So let's get you
Speaker 1: and your relationship out of that rout and back into
Speaker 1: the groove. First, check your expectations. Sure, conception can happen overnight,
Speaker 1: but it usually doesn't, So no need to get yourself
Speaker 1: all worked up over the three months you've put in.
Speaker 1: Check that off your list. Now, try some intercourse. No,
Speaker 1: not that kind of intercourse, the talking kind. Open up
Speaker 1: to each other about how baby making has changed the
Speaker 1: way that you make love. You may be feeling like
Speaker 1: a sperm receptacle. Sure, just a place to make drive
Speaker 1: through deposits to the baby be bank. But he may
Speaker 1: be feeling like nothing more than a sperm provider and
Speaker 1: with a pressure to rise to the occasion at the
Speaker 1: beep of a fertility monitor. He might be feeling like
Speaker 1: a performing chimp or a performing chippendale. Air out and
Speaker 1: clear out those feelings, even have a good laugh over them.
Speaker 1: Tell him that you find him stunt like even when
Speaker 1: he's not performing those particular services. Of course, you both
Speaker 1: want to get to destination baby as fast as you can,
Speaker 1: but remind each other that getting there should be at
Speaker 1: least half the fun. Then turn up the heat. Never
Speaker 1: gotten kinky before or even naughty, There's never been a
Speaker 1: better time to try it out for size play strip
Speaker 1: poker or nude twister, press play on an erotic movie,
Speaker 1: or unveil a new sex toy or some new lingerie
Speaker 1: that has openings in unexpected areas. Romance more your speed,
Speaker 1: dip strawberries and chocolate, dip each other in chocolate, light
Speaker 1: scented candles that melt into massage oil and into you.
Speaker 1: Don't just do it either. Maybe you've become too goal
Speaker 1: oriented these days, so slow down, start your engines purring
Speaker 1: before you push into full throttle. Has four play been
Speaker 1: off the menu these days. Serve it up as a
Speaker 1: special Get physical even when it's not that time of
Speaker 1: the month. Stay in touch all the time, hug early
Speaker 1: and often, cut up on the sofa and with each
Speaker 1: other instead of your phones. Grab his hand whenever you can,
Speaker 1: and his butt when he least expects it. Sneak attack
Speaker 1: him with kisses, make out when was the last time
Speaker 1: you actually made out? And maybe take a break. So
Speaker 1: average everyday stress doesn't usually impact fertility. Relaxing about getting
Speaker 1: pregnant can help you get pregnant faster. Consider ditching the chart,
Speaker 1: powering down your monitors, and keeping your hands out of
Speaker 1: your cervical mucus. It's not like it's going anywhere anyway.
Speaker 1: Focus your attention on your love connection instead of the
Speaker 1: mechanics of conception. Make love when you want to, not
Speaker 1: when you have to. Because you're in the mood now,
Speaker 1: not because you're ovulating. Now, take a break from trying
Speaker 1: to conceive, and who knows, you might conceive without even trying. So, Emma,
Speaker 1: what is your message today for moms who are trying
Speaker 1: to conceive. I know you're trying to conceive, but if
Speaker 1: you put too much pressure on it, it's it's less
Speaker 1: likely to happen. I think. I think when you kind
Speaker 1: of say to yourself, Okay, I'm ovulating in this area,
Speaker 1: maybe why not just have some fun sex. It doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be the sex that leads to you on
Speaker 1: the bed with your legs in the air. I mean,
Speaker 1: unless we're into if that's what, Yeah, that's what floats
Speaker 1: your boat. Legs in the air A Hawaii made have fun.
Speaker 1: When you have sex, when you're making it more of
Speaker 1: a chore, you're not going to have that passion. So
Speaker 1: everybody out there, if you still have questions about trying
Speaker 1: to conceive, again, beyond the obvious, you can turn to
Speaker 1: what to expect before you're expecting, which actually just like
Speaker 1: what to expect when you're expecting and eating well when
Speaker 1: you're expecting, has Emma's photo on the cover, so that
Speaker 1: that's easy. I'm here for it, Emma. That means you
Speaker 1: probably should have read it, right, I had it. I
Speaker 1: read it. I read it with the first one. I
Speaker 1: wasn't on the cover, but I read it when I
Speaker 1: was trying to get pregnant with Lennix. Oh that's right, Okay,
Speaker 1: you graduated to the cover after you finally conceived. So yeah,
Speaker 1: there's there's what to Expect before you're expecting, and once
Speaker 1: you graduate from that, what to Expect when you're expecting.
Speaker 1: If you're trying to conceive, The What to Expect app
Speaker 1: will soon have new features just for you, including an
Speaker 1: opulation calculator, daily tips to prep your body for pregnancy,
Speaker 1: and more. Baby Belove A Baby Belove. I need you,
Speaker 1: Oh how I need you. Thanks for listening. Remember I'm
Speaker 1: always here for you. What to Expect is always here
Speaker 1: for you who are all in this together. For more
Speaker 1: on what you heard on today's episode, visit what to
Speaker 1: Expect dot com slash of podcast. You can also check
Speaker 1: out What to Expect when You're Expecting, What to Expect
Speaker 1: the first Year, and the What to Expect app. And
Speaker 1: we want to hear from you. Connect with us on
Speaker 1: our Unity message board or on our social media. You
Speaker 1: can find me at Heidi Murkoff and Emma at Emma
Speaker 1: Being w t E and of course at What to Expect.
Speaker 1: Baby Love is performed by Riley Bider. What to Expect
Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio. From more shows
Speaker 1: from I heart Radio, check out the I heart Radio app,
Speaker 1: Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows
Speaker 1: in my arms right on't s stay Nija Knija Baby,
Speaker 1: Lovo Baby below