WEBVTT - The Best Of: Carefully Reckless (Part 3) 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:02.040 Peaks of the planet charlamagine the God here and as 0:00:02.040 --> 0:00:04.400 we come close to closing out this year, I just 0:00:04.440 --> 0:00:06.120 want to say thank you for tuning it into the 0:00:06.120 --> 0:00:08.640 Black Effect podcast network. There have been so many great 0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:10.720 moments over the past year. Take a listen to some 0:00:10.760 --> 0:00:13.480 of those captivating moments in this special best of episode. 0:00:14.840 --> 0:00:18.360 Hey, Jess, I need some on relationship advice, as in, 0:00:18.400 --> 0:00:20.480 how do you get rid of someone who just won't 0:00:20.520 --> 0:00:24.320 let relationship go. I'm completely over the father of my children. 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:27.280 We've been together almost ten years and I was completely 0:00:27.640 --> 0:00:29.760 in love with that man and thought he was my 0:00:29.840 --> 0:00:32.240 best friend and somate. It must have been the sex 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:35.599 because I was completely digmatized. He played me damn near 0:00:35.640 --> 0:00:38.599 the entire relationship, but I didn't find out until two 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:39.720 years ago, and it's. 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:40.880 Been a complete mess. 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:43.960 I suspected him cheating and things fell off, but I 0:00:44.080 --> 0:00:46.680 never had proof or he made it seem like I 0:00:46.800 --> 0:00:49.960 was crazy. Two years ago, I was eight months pregnant 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:52.320 and engaged at him. I picked up his pants and 0:00:52.320 --> 0:00:56.520 his phone fell out his pocket unlocked. It's like God 0:00:56.600 --> 0:00:59.200 was basically telling me to see the truth. What was 0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:02.600 in the phone way more than I ever expected and 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:06.600 he was complete slut, even fucking around with women I 0:01:06.680 --> 0:01:09.640 knew and saying them money as gifts while not helping 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:12.000 with the household. To make it worse, he messed with 0:01:12.040 --> 0:01:15.240 women at the apartment complex we've lived at, even our 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:16.440 most recent place. 0:01:16.880 --> 0:01:18.839 I'm so over his lives and bullshit. 0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:21.039 Last year, I was ready to get my own place, 0:01:21.080 --> 0:01:23.120 but he guilt tripped me and said it was best 0:01:23.160 --> 0:01:26.240 for the kids to stay together another year. Well, this 0:01:26.319 --> 0:01:29.680 year has been hell. He's so tossic and it still 0:01:29.720 --> 0:01:32.720 has drama with females coming to my door. Tells me 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:35.680 I'm making things up. I can't deal with this. So 0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:38.520 recently I got my own place without him knowing. The 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:41.120 lease is almost up, and I'm doing everything in my 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:43.480 power to jump start this man into finding a place 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:46.440 to live or even rehome him to another bitch for 0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:49.280 all I care, But he refuses to accept it and 0:01:49.320 --> 0:01:51.360 still makes it seem like we are going to be together. 0:01:51.800 --> 0:01:54.680 His family refuses to help and even encourages him to 0:01:54.680 --> 0:01:56.600 stay with me. I don't even know what to do 0:01:56.680 --> 0:01:58.720 to get rid of this man because he literally needs 0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:03.000 me for everything housing and transportation. Yes, he works, but 0:02:03.160 --> 0:02:06.080 rarely helps with household bills. I don't want the father 0:02:06.160 --> 0:02:07.960 of my kids on the street, and he still needs 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:10.080 to watch the kids while I work, but I also 0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:12.240 don't want him laid up in my new apartment. Think 0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:14.840 he could say there, we don't have family that can 0:02:14.880 --> 0:02:16.720 help with the kids, so it's just us taking care 0:02:16.720 --> 0:02:19.520 of them. So we're basically stuck with each other. Any 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:23.079 advision be homing my baby daddy? And so don't fill 0:02:23.120 --> 0:02:26.040 in the blinks. They are not having sex at all, 0:02:26.360 --> 0:02:28.320 and there's no chance of ever getting back together. 0:02:29.639 --> 0:02:31.880 Just big with everything, y'all. Listen, I have but everything 0:02:31.919 --> 0:02:35.040 before I jump into our story. I got everything bagel 0:02:35.120 --> 0:02:37.520 for the first time, so it's gonna have my breath 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:41.120 like real oniony but the cream cheese and it's tosted 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:45.760 to with extra butter. Baby, thank you, That's all I 0:02:45.760 --> 0:02:46.239 gotta say. 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:46.880 Now. 0:02:48.520 --> 0:02:51.760 I do not like calling my beautiful black woman clowns, 0:02:51.840 --> 0:02:54.520 but baby, i'd be lying if I say you as 0:02:54.560 --> 0:02:57.520 in lying, you are a clown. And sometimes we have 0:02:57.560 --> 0:02:59.640 to tell each other this so we can pick ourselves up. 0:02:59.639 --> 0:03:03.360 And that'slves off and try again. Why are you worried 0:03:03.520 --> 0:03:07.520 about a man who don't give a damn about your 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:10.280 feelings at the end of the day being put out 0:03:10.320 --> 0:03:11.359 on a damn street. 0:03:11.520 --> 0:03:13.000 Oh, because he the father of my children. 0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:14.840 He didn't give a fuck that she was the mother 0:03:14.880 --> 0:03:16.560 of his kids when he was cheating on your ass 0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:18.600 for the past ten years. What you just found out 0:03:18.639 --> 0:03:21.040 about two years ago, all because his phone was slipped 0:03:21.040 --> 0:03:22.080 out the pocket and you. 0:03:22.200 --> 0:03:25.200 Washing his clothes. What I believe. 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:28.280 If he ain't putting his hands on you, if he 0:03:28.320 --> 0:03:30.320 ain't got no gun to your head, if he is 0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:34.280 not holding your children hostage, if he ain't doing none 0:03:34.280 --> 0:03:36.640 of this, car, you can leave his ass. 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:39.320 Let him be on the fucking streets now. Listen. 0:03:39.400 --> 0:03:41.520 What he may do is go be with somebody else 0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:43.160 for the convenience of it. Because he seems to like 0:03:43.200 --> 0:03:45.480 being taken care of. And his family raised them wrong. 0:03:45.520 --> 0:03:47.600 Don't give a fuck with nobody say they raise them wrong, 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:50.040 because they're still encouraging his cheating ass to be with you. 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:54.200 That's because you're taking care of him. You're not responsible 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:57.800 for your children's father. You're responsible for the children, just 0:03:57.840 --> 0:04:01.800 like he is. Leave his ass some about Oh, and 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:04.440 don't there's no feeling the blanks. We're not sleeping together, 0:04:04.720 --> 0:04:06.520 We're not what happens when you want to date the 0:04:06.600 --> 0:04:09.320 fuck because I know he's still dating, he just probably 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:12.240 ain't bringing the bitches around you. And also, if you're 0:04:12.280 --> 0:04:14.200 able to take care of him, then you should be 0:04:14.240 --> 0:04:16.279 able to take care of getting a babysit up for 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:16.800 your kids. 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:19.200 Why you gotta do anything? I don't care. I do 0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:19.560 not care. 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:22.440 I see mom's do it all the time without their families, 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:27.279 without friend groups, without support groups, all that. Like we 0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:30.280 do it women, We do it all. No discredit to men, 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:32.480 because every man out there and not like that. And 0:04:32.520 --> 0:04:36.080 we have a lot of heartworking dads. But women, come on, now, 0:04:36.600 --> 0:04:39.400 we do this shit. You feel sorry for him yourself? 0:04:39.440 --> 0:04:41.960 A soft spot for him? That's crazy. He didn't have 0:04:42.000 --> 0:04:44.520 not one fucking soft spot for you. You can't seem 0:04:44.520 --> 0:04:46.680 to shake them. You can't, girl, like I said, unless 0:04:46.680 --> 0:04:49.480 he beating your ass up and down the house, or 0:04:49.720 --> 0:04:51.800 like I said, holding you hostage, gun to your head, 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:54.520 all that. You can walk the fuck out of his 0:04:54.600 --> 0:04:58.400 life period. Get a restraining order. Oh, but then he 0:04:58.400 --> 0:05:00.000 can't see the kids. See what I'm unning about that? 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:03.080 When he was with Denise, Vanessa and Rudy and Clara, 0:05:04.000 --> 0:05:08.039 he wasn't thinking about none of that, girl, No, I think. 0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:09.599 You have lost your everlast of mind. 0:05:10.360 --> 0:05:14.000 And I'm sorry for all my aggression, but sweetie, you 0:05:14.040 --> 0:05:17.000 can do better. And sometimes a lot of us women 0:05:17.040 --> 0:05:19.240 need to be told that by other women who are 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:21.680 completely unbiased. Like I'm not your friend, I don't know you, 0:05:21.720 --> 0:05:23.520 never saw you a day in my life, you know 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:26.400 what I'm saying, So I don't know you. This is 0:05:26.560 --> 0:05:29.320 just like anonymous. You know, I'm hearing a story and 0:05:29.360 --> 0:05:32.400 I'm telling another woman what she could do, what she 0:05:32.520 --> 0:05:33.080 should do. 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:35.800 You know what I'm saying. You still love him? I 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:37.640 know you do. You know I'm not saying that you 0:05:37.680 --> 0:05:39.120 are attracted to him or you don't. 0:05:39.360 --> 0:05:41.360 You know what I'm saying, because all right, taking account 0:05:41.360 --> 0:05:45.039 me and my son's father, we are way past intimacy. 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:48.640 We're not, you know, attracted to each other anymore. I 0:05:48.640 --> 0:05:51.279 haven't dated Rome since before our baby turned one year old. 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:53.680 Like that's just how that is, you know. And I 0:05:53.760 --> 0:05:56.240 often say that we're like brother and sister. So I 0:05:56.240 --> 0:05:58.800 would give Rome the shirt off my back, yes I will, 0:05:58.839 --> 0:06:00.440 but I would not give him a place to stay 0:06:00.440 --> 0:06:02.720 in my house because I am in a relationship. 0:06:03.240 --> 0:06:05.440 I'm moving forward. That's just that's a no. 0:06:05.440 --> 0:06:05.520 No. 0:06:05.600 --> 0:06:07.800 There are still boundaries. That's why I'm telling you this. 0:06:08.120 --> 0:06:11.080 There are still boundaries that has to be set and 0:06:11.200 --> 0:06:13.080 have to be put between you and your baby daddy. 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:14.920 What's wrong with him getting a fucking job if he 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:17.599 ain't got no record with even niggas with records, fuck 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:20.640 a record. Even men with records are able to get jobs. 0:06:20.880 --> 0:06:23.280 He got to start from somewhere. You cannot carry him 0:06:23.279 --> 0:06:25.400 as one of your kids. That's just not what it is. 0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:26.479 That's not what it's supposed to be. 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:33.680 Hey, Jess, I can't believe I'm even saying this, but 0:06:33.839 --> 0:06:35.880 I'm very much attracted to my sister in law. 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:39.360 Wait a mint, and what the hell is going on? Oh? 0:06:39.600 --> 0:06:41.520 I can't even believe I'm saying this. I can't believe 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:44.480 you feel that way with that fire All right, go ahead. 0:06:45.120 --> 0:06:47.560 Me and my fiance have been together for almost sixty 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:50.200 years now. I'm thirty years old, in my fiance is 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:52.600 thirty one. Don't get me wrong. I love my girl 0:06:52.640 --> 0:06:54.279 and I want to be with her. I don't know 0:06:54.279 --> 0:06:56.440 where these feelings for my sister in law came from, 0:06:57.080 --> 0:07:01.280 but here we are. This certain law has always been 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:03.919 around and me and her are real close because we 0:07:04.000 --> 0:07:07.799 bonded over smoking. Even showed her how to roll her 0:07:07.880 --> 0:07:10.760 first blunt. She ended up moving to Virginia last year 0:07:10.800 --> 0:07:13.160 because her husband is in the military and got stationed 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:16.480 out there. She came back here to Arizona after being 0:07:16.520 --> 0:07:19.480 going for about seven months. She started for like two months, 0:07:19.520 --> 0:07:21.920 and I didn't even I didn't get the feelings until 0:07:21.960 --> 0:07:25.240 like two days before she was about to leave. I 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:27.840 always thought she looked good, but never looked at her 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:29.880 in the way I do now. We have been texting 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:33.440 every day since she has left and went back to Virginia. 0:07:33.640 --> 0:07:36.640 Nothing crazy, just TikTok videos and talk about random shit. 0:07:36.920 --> 0:07:38.800 I would never tell her how I feel because I 0:07:38.840 --> 0:07:42.760 don't want her sister my fiance to find out and 0:07:42.840 --> 0:07:45.440 wanted want to mess up our close relationship either. 0:07:45.640 --> 0:07:47.880 Well, if you got damn wife listened to ca't Fley 0:07:47.880 --> 0:07:49.640 reckless baby, you'll be divorced by them all. 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:50.600 Wait. 0:07:50.880 --> 0:07:52.760 I don't know what to do. You ever, just think 0:07:52.800 --> 0:07:54.640 sometimes you ended up with the wrong sister. 0:07:56.160 --> 0:07:59.480 Oh god, Oh my god. 0:08:00.240 --> 0:08:02.880 The sister in law is ambitious, sexy, and a hustler. 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:05.680 My fiance, on the other hand, isn't too ambitious. I 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:07.720 think that's the reason I'm so attracted to my sister 0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:09.800 in waw help me out, give me some advice on 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:10.640 what I should do here? 0:08:11.800 --> 0:08:14.320 Oh my god, what is the matter with you? 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:17.960 You already married to the system, be married yet you're 0:08:18.000 --> 0:08:18.920 not married yet? 0:08:19.600 --> 0:08:22.080 Talking about no they ain't married yet? Girl would still hope? 0:08:22.280 --> 0:08:27.040 Oh gosh, Okay, Now I'm not even gonna lie negger 0:08:27.040 --> 0:08:29.040 like I've never been in this situation, but not the same. 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:33.800 Not not mess with the wrong brother, no, but the friend. 0:08:34.040 --> 0:08:35.240 Like you know how you be like, damn, I gonna 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:37.320 mess with the wrong friend because you jumping out. They 0:08:37.360 --> 0:08:39.480 are early in shaite. You see this nigga drive like 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:42.160 you cute, He got his head on straight. And then 0:08:42.200 --> 0:08:44.080 you see another nigga got his head on a little straight. 0:08:44.240 --> 0:08:47.120 You be like this onn boy, Damn, I made a choice. 0:08:47.160 --> 0:08:51.720 She was quick, all right. So I've been in that 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:55.079 situation before, however I did not act on it. 0:08:55.160 --> 0:08:58.000 But this is even worse because these are siblings. Bookie, 0:08:58.559 --> 0:09:02.680 the fuck? What the fuck is wrong with you? 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:05.959 Your fiance is going to be mighty pissed with you. 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:07.280 Now. 0:09:08.080 --> 0:09:10.240 You said you didn't want to sell the sister. How 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:12.120 you feel do you think the sister feels the same 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:15.040 about you. That's something that you didn't let me know. 0:09:15.240 --> 0:09:18.760 And then I'm bonding over smoking baby, I even sort 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:19.880 of how to roll her first blunt. 0:09:19.960 --> 0:09:25.880 What the hell is yo? That is crazy? That is 0:09:25.920 --> 0:09:28.200 so crazy to me. 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:32.640 It's a little childish, you know, y'all bonding over being 0:09:32.720 --> 0:09:36.280 high and shit, that's crazy. But you said there are 0:09:36.280 --> 0:09:38.559 certain things that you do like about her, her ambition 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:41.880 and so on and so forth. Are you insinuating that 0:09:42.200 --> 0:09:45.240 your fiance does not have ambition, she does not have 0:09:45.320 --> 0:09:52.640 like goals and you know, potential success? Is that what 0:09:52.760 --> 0:09:54.400 she lacks? Because I'm trying to figure out how you 0:09:54.440 --> 0:09:56.920 are more into her sister? And then you said at 0:09:56.960 --> 0:10:00.520 first you wasn't you know, did the we do all 0:10:00.559 --> 0:10:03.080 that like make you attract this her two days before 0:10:03.120 --> 0:10:06.880 she left? And then honestly, I don't think it's just 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:10.080 innocent tiktoks and random shit that y'all was speaking about. 0:10:10.080 --> 0:10:12.120 If you feel this strongly about her, and if you're 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:14.080 writing me about her, it has to what you think, Taylor, 0:10:14.120 --> 0:10:16.160 I feel like it's it's definitely more. 0:10:16.559 --> 0:10:19.680 Don't get to Hay, just answer, and that's it. 0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:23.400 I think this sister likes him too, because why are 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:27.800 you talking to my fiancees like y'all too close to talking? 0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:31.040 Yeah? Yeah, do you believe they don't they did anything. 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:32.600 I don't know. 0:10:32.920 --> 0:10:36.920 Yeah, I wouldn't just jump ahead and say like, yeah, 0:10:36.920 --> 0:10:39.280 they've had sex, but I do believe that they've probably 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:44.319 had conversations about it lightly or they have mentioned, oh, 0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:46.400 if I could be with you, this will happen if 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:48.920 you weren't dating my sister, or I wish things were 0:10:48.920 --> 0:10:52.800 different those type of situations, as innocent as they could 0:10:52.880 --> 0:11:00.120 probably get it without crossing that line of physical intimacy 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:01.480 or whatever. 0:11:01.679 --> 0:11:04.080 But I but what was the question again? How do 0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:07.360 I go about it? Or what the hell? Because what 0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:09.680 do you do? Well? 0:11:09.920 --> 0:11:14.600 The whole family knows you, so say if you do 0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:17.280 act like you in the movie, because they do the 0:11:17.280 --> 0:11:19.120 shit in the movies, they'll leave what they wit and 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:23.080 go with who that heart lies with the family gonna 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:26.480 hate your ass, favel because if this is your fiance 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:32.840 the sister, you've met her family already, and they'll hate 0:11:33.360 --> 0:11:35.280 the sister and they'll hate you. They're gonna be looking 0:11:35.280 --> 0:11:36.520 at you off and the rest of you all lives 0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:39.520 like these clown ways holes. You know what I'm saying, 0:11:39.800 --> 0:11:42.800 They're gonna look at y'all real crazy. And then think 0:11:42.840 --> 0:11:46.120 about the heartbreak that the sister would feel, that your 0:11:46.480 --> 0:11:48.840 future wife would feel and you tal much y'all wanted 0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:51.959 to find out. This is a big secret that you 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:54.760 would be keeping from her. I have no idea how 0:11:54.800 --> 0:11:56.360 this will play out for you, but I do think 0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:58.320 both of your asses need to be put on blast. 0:11:58.360 --> 0:12:01.040 And I'm sorry you are very wrong, and you should 0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:03.640 go about it by first sitting down with your fiance, 0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:07.000 telling your fiance how you feel. I know he probably 0:12:07.000 --> 0:12:09.040 listening to this shit like bitch, I would never go 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:11.920 sit down with my but I think you should because 0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:14.720 this feeling is not gonna go away. And then you 0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:17.439 let her sister and then you talk to the sister like, well, 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:22.959 I told her so where sol? And for some reason, 0:12:22.960 --> 0:12:24.600 I don't know if the sister will be with him though. 0:12:24.600 --> 0:12:26.240 I just think it's or the. 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:28.880 Sister could be trapping the fiance like see, I told 0:12:28.880 --> 0:12:30.080 you he need shit, nigga. 0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:36.480 M If they play a little games like that and 0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:38.640 my baby drop, I'm hungry, I'm pregnant the baby. 0:12:40.040 --> 0:12:44.080 If they playing little games like that, bitch. 0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:47.960 I ain't gonna lie. I would do that, sho, I 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:53.439 ain't gonna lie. Uh my sister, I would cry lad 0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:58.400 on thinking everything. They'll be like, I got you. But 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:00.880 that's why you not if they really doing that's all petty. 0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:02.960 That shit that I did in my early twenties, late teen, 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:06.439 It's like, no, we're not doing that just is somebody's life. 0:13:06.520 --> 0:13:08.800 Y'all planning on walking down the aisle, be real with 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:11.760 your wife. Sarpy can get you do any and everything. 0:13:12.160 --> 0:13:15.040 Tom he was all wounds. I don't know about this one, 0:13:15.040 --> 0:13:17.200 but buddy, you gotta be honest with the one that 0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:20.199 you're walking down the aisle with because when y'all exchange 0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:23.679 those vows, y'all are best friends. You're making a commitment, 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:27.320 like you gotta be honest, and sometimes honesty definitely pierces, 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:31.160 like it hurts. But Tom hells all wounds, and I 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:33.640 think that she would respect your honesty. She probably want 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:36.160 to beat the hell out of her sister and push 0:13:36.240 --> 0:13:38.079 back the wedding, if not break up with your ass. 0:13:38.080 --> 0:13:40.360 But at least you got your truth out because if 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:41.559 you don't tell her, i'mna tell him. 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:45.559 So we got we got his name. His name is Jeremy. 0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:54.559 Jeremy Jeremy Taylor Jeremy. Like I said, I will find 0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:57.439 your wife, your fiance and tell her. If you don't 0:13:57.480 --> 0:13:59.200 tell them, giving you two weeks, get back with me, 0:13:59.280 --> 0:13:59.679 update me. 0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:00.240 Love you. 0:14:05.240 --> 0:14:08.000 I am a seventeen year old woman who lives in Nigeria. 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:10.199 I was born in the US, but I am from 0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:13.679 Congo and have spent most of my life living in Africa. 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:16.040 I'm in the serious need of your help. Oh wait 0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:18.199 a minute, is this about some money, because I don't. 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:22.560 Oh well, okay, girl, Well you start off like that 0:14:22.680 --> 0:14:24.560 and be like I'm in serious need of your help. 0:14:24.600 --> 0:14:27.200 It's like, oh no, no, no, no, okay, Okay. 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:30.640 My dad is cheating on my mom, who is currently 0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:32.720 in North America trying to find a job so we 0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:38.000 can finance me going to university. Okay, this is not 0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:41.480 the first time my father has been unfaithful. Once my 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:44.640 mom packed her bags and threatened to leave, he begged 0:14:44.680 --> 0:14:46.560 her on his dusty as. 0:14:46.440 --> 0:14:48.800 Knees not to go. I know it's right. 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:52.080 I had to carry her thirty pounds suitcases up the 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:56.600 stairs when she decided to stay, and I was only twelve. Okay, 0:14:57.280 --> 0:14:59.760 the same thing happened about two years later, but this 0:14:59.800 --> 0:15:03.040 time she went back to Cameroon, threatened to divorce him, 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:06.040 but was magically cooking his favorite meal in the kitchen 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:07.040 two months later. 0:15:07.760 --> 0:15:09.320 Oh, I see what are we going? Okay? 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:13.280 My dad's infidelity has been a consistent issue in their marriage, 0:15:13.280 --> 0:15:15.560 and I know my mom will not leave him. He's 0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:17.200 a good father most of the time, and I could 0:15:17.240 --> 0:15:19.800 care less if they are together or not, because I 0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:23.920 honestly think they're better parents when they are apart. About 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:26.240 two years ago, when we were moving to a new 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:29.760 city in Nigeria, we lived alone with my dad. I 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:31.840 had to do all the motherly duties which I am 0:15:32.000 --> 0:15:39.600 used to modern slavery type things. Girl, okay, okay, baby. 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:41.240 He was cheating then too. 0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:44.240 I found condoms in the trash can and he was 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:48.160 coming late every night. I decided to mind my own 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:50.440 business as I had my own shit to deal with, 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:52.960 and honestly, I was hoping my mother was doing her 0:15:53.000 --> 0:15:56.360 thing as well. This time is different, as I am 0:15:56.400 --> 0:15:58.560 too soon to leave the house and I can't have 0:15:58.640 --> 0:16:00.480 my brother having to pick. 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:07.920 Up after my sloppy, horny father. I'm sorry, I do 0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:08.640 not mean to laugh. 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:10.960 I'm just trying to figure out what is the problem, 0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:13.680 like you know what I'm saying, Like, okay, because it 0:16:13.720 --> 0:16:16.040 seems like more of a venting session. But I got you, baby. 0:16:16.080 --> 0:16:18.560 I'm gonna keep on because it's about four more progress, 0:16:19.080 --> 0:16:21.920 all right. He is so disrespectful and does not even 0:16:21.960 --> 0:16:24.640 have the decency to cover his tracks. He bought cheap 0:16:24.680 --> 0:16:27.640 ass condoms when we went grocery shopping and thought he 0:16:27.760 --> 0:16:30.560 was slick, making me go get salad while he quickly 0:16:30.600 --> 0:16:36.920 paid for it. We are a carnivorous family. Yeah, okay, girl, 0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:39.480 so do everybody else. I don't have to You don't 0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:43.200 have to say we are a carnivorous family. Oh, let 0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:48.000 me finish. Nobody in this bitch eats salads. Oh a girl. 0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:49.840 I'm like, all right, but you did, and I have 0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:54.240 to say we're not. We are a carnivorous family. Like girl, okay, 0:16:54.640 --> 0:16:59.440 so technical, I know she going to college. Okay, nobody 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:02.680 in this bitch salas. Later that night, he gave me 0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:05.960 the receipts to throw away and I saw condoms written 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:08.840 at the top of the receipt. His first chaps were 0:17:08.840 --> 0:17:13.160 his priority before our school snacks. He has come home 0:17:13.240 --> 0:17:18.000 twice with dirty cheats that have wet spots on them. 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:21.560 Dirty draws, you mean that have wet spots on them, 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:24.080 and he asked me to put them in the washing 0:17:24.119 --> 0:17:26.480 machine so it can be ready for the next bitch. 0:17:27.359 --> 0:17:31.840 STDs still exist, They certainly did. I am not an idiot. 0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:33.400 I am not one of the boys, so I don't 0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:36.080 know why he thinks it's okay to be so oblivious 0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:38.720 with his adultery. I don't want to tell my mom, 0:17:38.920 --> 0:17:41.400 as she won't leave him, and she is just going 0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:43.919 to be stressed out on the other side of the world, 0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:46.359 all right, because your mom is in North America and 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:49.199 your dad is somewhere else. Okay, this is none of 0:17:49.240 --> 0:17:51.600 my business, so so what the fuck is you telling 0:17:51.680 --> 0:17:51.959 me for? 0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:54.600 But I am. 0:17:54.560 --> 0:17:58.400 Already stressed out with school and teenager shit, so him 0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:01.520 adding this to my plate is rev I already think 0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:04.200 men are trash, and he is just reinforcing that narrative 0:18:04.200 --> 0:18:06.359 for me. If I don't sell my mom, I also 0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:09.560 fear bad karma might come to me. But I also 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:12.560 feel as though telling her selfish of me, as it 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:14.679 would just relieve my guilt. 0:18:15.119 --> 0:18:17.200 Hmm. I need help. 0:18:17.359 --> 0:18:21.520 My friends ain't shit, respectfully, damn and I go to 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:27.120 a predominantly white school, so I could barely afford my scholarship. 0:18:27.920 --> 0:18:31.520 The counselors and teachers there are no use. Girl. 0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:34.240 You did a good job of making your life sound 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:37.639 like the most shittiest of all shit lives in the world. 0:18:37.680 --> 0:18:39.800 Honey, Like, let me tell you something. 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:42.240 I'm not gonna say we all have a cheating father, 0:18:42.480 --> 0:18:46.200 because you know, I don't know about everybody, but yes, 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:50.520 I had a cheating father. And the reason why I say, hey, 0:18:50.520 --> 0:18:52.200 it is because he's not a cheater anymore. My mom 0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:56.320 end up getting the strength to leave after just you know, 0:18:56.359 --> 0:18:59.320 after many, many, many affairs or whatever. But like your 0:18:59.320 --> 0:19:01.320 mom will get the strength to leave. I do understand. 0:19:01.359 --> 0:19:03.280 I thought the same thing about my mom at first. 0:19:03.680 --> 0:19:05.440 You know, my mother gonna listen to this, like bitch. 0:19:05.480 --> 0:19:10.080 First of all, don't try, you know, But yeah, I 0:19:10.119 --> 0:19:13.040 think that, you know, every woman has a breaking point. 0:19:13.119 --> 0:19:15.520 And who's to say that your mom is not doing her, 0:19:15.680 --> 0:19:17.439 you know, but still in love with your father, you 0:19:17.440 --> 0:19:19.240