WEBVTT - Part One: Joan of Arc Was Even Cooler Than I Thought

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<v Speaker 1>Cool Zone Media.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, and welcome to Cool People Did Cool Stuff, your

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<v Speaker 2>weekly podcast where I'm really excited about. This week is

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<v Speaker 2>gonna be so interesting. I've wanted to research this person

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<v Speaker 2>for so long. I'm your host, Margaret Kiljoy. I think

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<v Speaker 2>my job is fine. I don't have any particular I

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<v Speaker 2>love my job. It's so good. Okay, And my guest

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<v Speaker 2>today is Molly Conger.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi, Hi, thanks for having me. I'm so excited to

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<v Speaker 3>hear about a cool guy.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, well it's not gonna be a guy. But Mollie,

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<v Speaker 2>as everyone knows, is just jealous because she doesn't have

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<v Speaker 2>her own Cool Zone Media show.

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<v Speaker 3>So jealous. Yeah, it's eating me up inside.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh wait, yeah, we gave you one of those, didn't

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<v Speaker 4>we What what?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? No way, I scripted this bit. It would have

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<v Speaker 2>come off more naturally if I had scripted it.

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<v Speaker 3>Wait, Mollie, are you our newest weekly show host. I'm

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<v Speaker 3>so excited for you guys to hear about kind of

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<v Speaker 3>the opposite of this show, I guess is weird guys

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<v Speaker 3>who did really bad stuff.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, Molly's show is called Weird Little Guys and it's

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<v Speaker 4>out now and it's a weekly show on your podcast.

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<v Speaker 4>Feeds all of them.

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<v Speaker 2>What day of the week is it?

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<v Speaker 3>Thir's six?

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<v Speaker 2>Cool. It's good because I listen to a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>podcasts because I walk my dog every day and I

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<v Speaker 2>do a lot of like physical stuff around the land

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<v Speaker 2>I live on, you know, And by the end of

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<v Speaker 2>the weekend, I'm usually out of cool soun media podcasts

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm forced to listen to lesser podcasts. Oh wow, and.

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<v Speaker 3>I have one more hour at the end of the week.

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<v Speaker 2>I know. It's a little treat just for me. So

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<v Speaker 2>today's Hero when I'm just gonna use Hero. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>like feminizing. Hero isn't a weird little guy, but is

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<v Speaker 2>a weird little girl slash woman, depending on where in

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<v Speaker 2>the story you come in. Because oh, I forgot the

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<v Speaker 2>rest of the credits. The other voice you've heard is Sophie.

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<v Speaker 2>I just got so excited abou who we're going to talk?

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<v Speaker 2>But Hi, Sophie, it's a good topic.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm very excited about this. Hi, Hi Magpie, Hi Mollie. Oh,

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<v Speaker 4>we're just hanging's got the girls together.

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<v Speaker 2>On the zoom on the zoom I know, and as

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<v Speaker 2>always our audio engineers, Rory. Everyone say hi to Rory.

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<v Speaker 1>Hi.

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<v Speaker 2>Rory Hi Ror Hi Rory. Our theme music was written

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<v Speaker 2>for us by Unwoman. This week, we are going to

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<v Speaker 2>go back further in time than we've ever gone back

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<v Speaker 2>in time besides the episode where we talked about how

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<v Speaker 2>humans tamed dogs.

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<v Speaker 3>That's yeah, well that rocks.

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<v Speaker 2>That was like thirty thousand years. But we're going back

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<v Speaker 2>to the fourteen hundreds. We're going to a country called France.

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<v Speaker 2>I've heard of this country.

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<v Speaker 3>Ooh.

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<v Speaker 2>We're going to talk about a soldier, a badass soldier

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<v Speaker 2>who winds up deservedly, it turns out, taking a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of credit for saving France from an English invasion. She

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<v Speaker 2>was driven by visions from God and then she was

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<v Speaker 2>burned at the stake.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh I know her.

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<v Speaker 2>I know she's the most famous female soldier in history.

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<v Speaker 3>Unless they did it more than once.

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<v Speaker 2>It's Joan of Arc.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, yeah, no, we're good. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I was like, I don't think I said saint

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<v Speaker 2>part yet. I think and I've like looked this up

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<v Speaker 2>a couple times. It seems like it couldn't be true

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<v Speaker 2>because the Catholics like burning people, right, But I think

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<v Speaker 2>this is the only Catholic saint who was burned to

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<v Speaker 2>death by the Catholic Church, which is part of why

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<v Speaker 2>I took more than four hundred years, very close to

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<v Speaker 2>five hundred years for the Catholic Church to get around

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<v Speaker 2>to making her a saint.

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<v Speaker 3>They don't like to admit they made a mistake.

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<v Speaker 2>No, but you know, five hundred years later I could

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<v Speaker 2>see why maybe that wasn't the move. You know, Molly,

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<v Speaker 2>what have you heard about our girl?

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<v Speaker 3>Joan of arc Joan? Okay, A little bit of a

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<v Speaker 3>strange one. A little bit of a strange one. I mean,

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<v Speaker 3>I guess anybody getting visions from God is a little unusual. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>but yeah, good at battle? I mean, I guess it's

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<v Speaker 3>easy to be good at war if God is giving

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<v Speaker 3>you the cheat codes, right, Yes, and no.

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<v Speaker 2>We're gonna talk about which codes that God gave her

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<v Speaker 2>and didn't.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but it didn't end so good for her, Although

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<v Speaker 3>I guess I don't know, if you're really getting visions

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<v Speaker 3>from God, martyrdom isn't a tragedy for you, right.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, although she's technically like even still now that

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<v Speaker 2>they've admitted all there, she's still not a martyr, right.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, because she didn't die for her because she wasn't,

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<v Speaker 3>so I guess martyrdom is when you die persecuted for

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<v Speaker 3>your faith and they're not going to admit they were

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<v Speaker 3>doing the persecuting.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Interesting, Although there's like other loopholes, like there's this

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<v Speaker 2>there's always a loose I can't remember his name, but

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<v Speaker 2>I really like him. There's this man saint from World

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<v Speaker 2>War Two who died in a concentration camp and he's

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<v Speaker 2>considered a martyr of charity. They created a whole new

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<v Speaker 2>category for him because being killed for being Charitis and

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<v Speaker 2>hating Nazis is like not technically being killed for being Catholic,

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<v Speaker 2>but it's like functionally being killed for being Catholic, because

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<v Speaker 2>if you're like actually good Catholic, you theoretically are willing

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<v Speaker 2>to die fighting at fighting Nazis and believing in charity.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you were doing what Jesus wanted you to do.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>But now Joan of Arc didn't get martyrs. Everyone treats

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<v Speaker 2>her as a martyr.

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<v Speaker 4>Is she the patron Saint of France?

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<v Speaker 2>I believe so, And she's definitely the patron saint of

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<v Speaker 2>soldiers and the city of Orleon, But yeah, I think

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<v Speaker 2>she's patron Saint of France. I wasn't sure I was

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<v Speaker 2>gonna do a Joan of Arc episode. This has been

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<v Speaker 2>on my list, my big list of maybes forever, right,

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<v Speaker 2>because I didn't know that much about Joan of Arc

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<v Speaker 2>coming into it. I was like, Oh, lady soldier burned

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<v Speaker 2>at the stake had visions. That's kind of all I had.

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<v Speaker 2>And when I first would hear most of the modern retellings,

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<v Speaker 2>it's sort of just kind of like, oh, no, this

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<v Speaker 2>is girl and she was in the right place at

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<v Speaker 2>the right time or whatever, and it kind of strips

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<v Speaker 2>her agency away. And once you dig into the story,

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<v Speaker 2>she is a badass.

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<v Speaker 3>I guess you gotta be pretty tenacious to get up

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<v Speaker 3>in there and make people believe you.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like she went through the hell and back to

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<v Speaker 2>try and get people to believe her, And she's a

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<v Speaker 2>hard sell for me, right, because, like, the big thing

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<v Speaker 2>she did is that she's kind of the reason there's

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<v Speaker 2>a country called France.

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<v Speaker 3>Like not a point in her favor.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, I don't really give a shit about France

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<v Speaker 2>now it would have just been conquered by the English.

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<v Speaker 2>Do I even less give a shit about you? But

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<v Speaker 2>I don't care much about the nationalism of Western imperialist countries, right.

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<v Speaker 2>I also don't care about royal drama. I'm not a

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<v Speaker 2>big fan of monarchy. The fact that she put the

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<v Speaker 2>true Air on the throne doesn't do it for me.

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<v Speaker 2>But the questions of gender and power and magic that

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<v Speaker 2>she brings up are really interesting to me, and so

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<v Speaker 2>that was why I was going with at the beginning

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<v Speaker 2>of this. And then I would just like read about

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<v Speaker 2>like battle after battle. There's also just something where you're like, well,

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<v Speaker 2>you're such a fucking badass. It's cool anyway, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>A couple of years ago, I did an episode about

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<v Speaker 2>a rather common medieval divorce practice before divorce was legalized,

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<v Speaker 2>which was called poison your husband and now you're not

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<v Speaker 2>married anymore.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, the classic divorce.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, exactly the divorce that Christian nationalists are burreling themselves

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<v Speaker 2>right back towards by trying to get rid of divorce.

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<v Speaker 2>And the thing that I discovered while researching those episodes

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<v Speaker 2>that surprised me the most was that things that I

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<v Speaker 2>had sort of imagined were made up turned out to

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<v Speaker 2>be very real. About the Middle Ages, there was this

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<v Speaker 2>magical underground in medieval European cities that was made up

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<v Speaker 2>of like astrologers and alchemists who would set up shop

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<v Speaker 2>and sell everything from abortion to husband murder to fortune telling.

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<v Speaker 2>And you would have like Catholic priests who were selling

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<v Speaker 2>love potions on the side made from oil dripped over

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<v Speaker 2>the corpses of saints. And some of those same priests

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<v Speaker 2>were like doing black masses at night with women as altars.

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<v Speaker 2>But I don't think they were killing the women. And

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<v Speaker 2>just like weird sex stuff.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, there's a reason so much which of this

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<v Speaker 3>medieval magic is sort of inverted Catholic, right, And it's

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<v Speaker 3>because it was Catholic priests doing it. They're the ones

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<v Speaker 3>who could read that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And like I think the line between medieval Catholicism

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<v Speaker 2>and like witchcrafton paganism is like a meaningless line. It

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<v Speaker 2>obviously is a strong political and legal framework built around it,

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<v Speaker 2>but like you're just describing the same shit and some

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<v Speaker 2>of the people are allowed to do it. And actually,

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<v Speaker 2>none of these priests are allowed to be doing these

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<v Speaker 2>black masses and stuff, right, They're not supposed to be

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<v Speaker 2>doing that. No, no, yeah, big, big big no no.

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<v Speaker 3>No.

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<v Speaker 2>A lot of I'm get in trouble for that one.

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<v Speaker 2>But poor middle class and aristocratic women alike would go

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<v Speaker 2>to these fortune tellers because women were a permanent underclass. Obviously,

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<v Speaker 2>rich women and the nobility and shit had far more power,

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<v Speaker 2>but they still, even to exert the power that they

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<v Speaker 2>should theoretically have, they relied on magic. And it's a

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<v Speaker 2>pattern that once I started noticing it, I see it

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<v Speaker 2>more and more. And so the story of Joan of

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<v Speaker 2>Arc isn't just the story of one woman whose visions

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<v Speaker 2>gave her access to military command. It's also the story

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<v Speaker 2>of a second woman, the King's mother in law, who

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<v Speaker 2>had to work behind the scenes to wield visions and

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<v Speaker 2>magic in order to get her cowardly son like King

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<v Speaker 2>charge person son in law.

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<v Speaker 3>Little boy boy King.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, to put his back into the fight. She had

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<v Speaker 2>to rely on magic to do it.

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<v Speaker 3>So she's Nancy Reagan and the astrologer.

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<v Speaker 5>Yes, I even vaguely get that one.

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<v Speaker 4>I love when Joan comes up without it making sense,

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<v Speaker 4>but it makes sense because Joni is everywhere.

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<v Speaker 3>Things don't change.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, my god, is her name Joan? Her name is

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<v Speaker 2>Joan whoa And so so there's this, right, there's this

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<v Speaker 2>magical element. It also helps the story that Joan of

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<v Speaker 2>Arc was a total fucking badass would wade into battle

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<v Speaker 2>with lance and sword, taking arrows to the chest while

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<v Speaker 2>still fighting. I had like thought maybe like they like

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<v Speaker 2>brought her out as like a hey, look we have

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<v Speaker 2>a weird saint to be you know, we brought a mascot. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I genuinely like early on, as I was doing this research,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, a mascot. That is like the

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<v Speaker 2>word that I was thinking of. No, not a mascot

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<v Speaker 2>unless the mascot was Also, I don't know the parts

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<v Speaker 2>of football full back, the quarterback, running quarter One.

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<v Speaker 3>Of us knows a football guy for.

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<v Speaker 4>Sure, running back.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm actually a little bit lying. I've ghost written two

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<v Speaker 2>romance novels about sports, and I had to like learn

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<v Speaker 2>so much about football and baseball in order to go

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<v Speaker 2>straight these fucking heterosexual romance novels. I know the average

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<v Speaker 2>height of an NFL player. It's five foot ten, shorter

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<v Speaker 2>than I expected.

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<v Speaker 3>Really, that is littler than I thought.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, the publisher made me change it. The publisher was like,

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<v Speaker 2>I want our character to be like an average NFL player,

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like, okay, And I looked it up

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<v Speaker 2>and it made him five foot ten. And the publisher

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<v Speaker 2>was like, no, we can't have a love interest just

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<v Speaker 2>less than six feet tall.

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<v Speaker 3>We're selling a fantasy here, Margaret. Yeah, that's so funny.

0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:13.800
<v Speaker 2>Anyway, Joan of Arc absolute badass, turned a like fucking

0:11:13.920 --> 0:11:17.280
<v Speaker 2>losing war around, drove out English invaders and forever changed

0:11:17.280 --> 0:11:22.280
<v Speaker 2>the course of history for better and worse. So Joan

0:11:22.320 --> 0:11:26.600
<v Speaker 2>of Arc, your sixteenth minute starts. Now that's my wow,

0:11:26.640 --> 0:11:27.920
<v Speaker 2>that's my sixteenth minute of fame.

0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:28.400
<v Speaker 3>Jokes.

0:11:28.400 --> 0:11:30.040
<v Speaker 4>It's very disorienting, thank you.

0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:33.959
<v Speaker 2>I mean, she really was the character of the day, absolutely,

0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:36.360
<v Speaker 2>and they got bored of her and tired of our

0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:37.680
<v Speaker 2>justice fucking fast.

0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:40.680
<v Speaker 3>God, things don't change. We've always been this way.

0:11:41.360 --> 0:11:44.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's the same people, but at different times and

0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:48.360
<v Speaker 2>with more more visions. People were more open about the visions,

0:11:48.840 --> 0:11:49.360
<v Speaker 2>I would say.

0:11:49.400 --> 0:11:50.920
<v Speaker 3>And we didn't burn Bean down at the stake.

0:11:51.880 --> 0:11:58.000
<v Speaker 2>No, we didn't. Although there's still time. We're going to

0:11:58.080 --> 0:12:00.520
<v Speaker 2>start this story chronologically before we've to get to being

0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:03.440
<v Speaker 2>Dad and then burn him at the stake. We're going

0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:05.600
<v Speaker 2>to start it before Joan of Arc was born. We're

0:12:05.600 --> 0:12:07.600
<v Speaker 2>gonna start it with a woman who is incredibly powerful

0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:10.000
<v Speaker 2>in her time, but like many women, has been largely

0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:14.360
<v Speaker 2>ignored by history. Her name is Yolanda of Aragon. And

0:12:14.360 --> 0:12:17.760
<v Speaker 2>now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, isn't Aragon

0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:19.959
<v Speaker 2>the rightful King of Gondor from Tolkien's Lord of the

0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:26.800
<v Speaker 2>Rings And the answer is close, that's Aragorn. Aragon is

0:12:26.800 --> 0:12:29.480
<v Speaker 2>a region in Spain. Probably more people knew it was

0:12:29.480 --> 0:12:31.760
<v Speaker 2>a region in Spain than thought of Aragorn, but I

0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:32.160
<v Speaker 2>don't know.

0:12:32.480 --> 0:12:34.840
<v Speaker 3>I mean maybe more people generally, but in terms of

0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:36.720
<v Speaker 3>listeners of this show, hard to say.

0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:39.400
<v Speaker 2>Fair enough no that listeners of the show would know

0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:43.440
<v Speaker 2>that Ara Gorn as an r well too are whatever. Anyway,

0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:47.560
<v Speaker 2>Aragon was not a region in Spain. The funny thing

0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:49.200
<v Speaker 2>that's like when you talk about the fourteen hundreds and

0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:52.880
<v Speaker 2>you're like, oh, Spain, Italy, France, Like, we only talk

0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:54.400
<v Speaker 2>about those countries because those are the ones that are

0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:58.280
<v Speaker 2>still around. Aragon was not in Spain. Aragon was his

0:12:58.400 --> 0:13:02.960
<v Speaker 2>own world spanning empire that stretched across like by being

0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:05.880
<v Speaker 2>Queen of Aragon, Yolanda of Aragon was also the Queen

0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:08.400
<v Speaker 2>of Sicily, which in this case meant the entire southern

0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:10.880
<v Speaker 2>half of Italy, which is not a concept. People aren't

0:13:10.960 --> 0:13:15.480
<v Speaker 2>Italian at this point right, and ostensibly of Jerusalem. In

0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:18.440
<v Speaker 2>case you need any more reminders that the royalty of

0:13:18.440 --> 0:13:21.720
<v Speaker 2>medieval Europe was transnational as fuck, and modern conceptions of

0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:24.280
<v Speaker 2>nation don't really map easily onto the past, and that

0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:28.080
<v Speaker 2>rich people are fucking weird. Because she lives in France, well,

0:13:28.120 --> 0:13:29.559
<v Speaker 2>by the end of the story, she lives in France.

0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:33.200
<v Speaker 2>She's one of the most gifted statesmen the world has

0:13:33.280 --> 0:13:36.240
<v Speaker 2>ever produced, near as I can tell. She is a

0:13:36.360 --> 0:13:39.960
<v Speaker 2>master of diplomacy in military matters, despite her self never

0:13:40.040 --> 0:13:43.640
<v Speaker 2>holding power. She's not a queen regnant, right, She's a

0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:47.240
<v Speaker 2>married to a guy. She was born in Barcelona on

0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:51.520
<v Speaker 2>August eleventh, thirteen eighty one. Her father was the heir

0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:55.280
<v Speaker 2>to Aragon. Her grandfather was the military guy who'd done

0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:59.600
<v Speaker 2>all that conquering under the name of Aragon. Her mother

0:13:59.640 --> 0:14:02.199
<v Speaker 2>was a friend woman, And to make this story really

0:14:02.240 --> 0:14:05.400
<v Speaker 2>fun and confusing, her name was also Yolanda, spelled the

0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:10.360
<v Speaker 2>same Yolanda of Aragon. The daughter was her parents only

0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:15.520
<v Speaker 2>surviving child out of eight. Oh that's rough, yeah, like

0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:19.120
<v Speaker 2>nobility won't save you from dysentery.

0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:21.640
<v Speaker 3>That's a twelve percent batting average.

0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:25.480
<v Speaker 2>That's not good, no, no, And it's funny because like

0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:28.440
<v Speaker 2>usually I do stories, in like the eighteenth nineteenth century,

0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:31.680
<v Speaker 2>and so everyone dies with tuberculosis. A lot of people

0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:33.640
<v Speaker 2>are gonna die of dysentery today.

0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:38.000
<v Speaker 3>That's a rough way to go, you know, especially because

0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:39.240
<v Speaker 3>they hadn't invented toilets.

0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:41.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm just gonna shit myself to death quietly, and then

0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:43.400
<v Speaker 2>Shakespeare write a play about me.

0:14:43.680 --> 0:14:44.800
<v Speaker 3>I don't think it was quiet.

0:14:47.800 --> 0:14:53.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's true. When her father won which is actually

0:14:53.240 --> 0:14:57.320
<v Speaker 2>spelled Joan the same as but it's anyway, when one

0:14:57.360 --> 0:15:00.040
<v Speaker 2>became the king of Aragon, he wanted the play I

0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:03.640
<v Speaker 2>used to become the cultural center of Europe, specifically the

0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:06.320
<v Speaker 2>center of the art of the troubadour no One at

0:15:06.320 --> 0:15:09.360
<v Speaker 2>the time as and I love this the gay science,

0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:15.560
<v Speaker 2>like fuck a king, but instead of tourneys with joustin knights,

0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:18.720
<v Speaker 2>he put on poetry competitions for the same like high

0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:21.480
<v Speaker 2>stakes and rewards like priceless jewels and shit.

0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:23.320
<v Speaker 3>What a nerd.

0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:27.600
<v Speaker 2>I know, I kind of like him, and he also

0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:29.840
<v Speaker 2>like just sucks and everything, and like the women in

0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:31.800
<v Speaker 2>his life take care of everything, but not just like

0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:34.560
<v Speaker 2>take care of him, but like run the kingdom.

0:15:34.240 --> 0:15:36.000
<v Speaker 3>And shit like that, right, because he's busy with his

0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:37.840
<v Speaker 3>poetry contests.

0:15:37.520 --> 0:15:39.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and being like not particularly good at battle and stuff.

0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:43.480
<v Speaker 2>You know, to be fair, I'm certain he's better at

0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:44.240
<v Speaker 2>battle than I am.

0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:46.200
<v Speaker 3>Well, I don't know.

0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:48.160
<v Speaker 2>I mean if we get to use okay anyway, So

0:15:48.360 --> 0:15:51.240
<v Speaker 2>Yolanda grew up obsessed with books in literature and kept

0:15:51.280 --> 0:15:54.200
<v Speaker 2>a massive library because she's also a nerd, and she

0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:56.840
<v Speaker 2>had a lot of theological tomes, which was honestly the

0:15:56.880 --> 0:16:01.600
<v Speaker 2>medieval equivalent of philosophy. And she saw the world as

0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:05.680
<v Speaker 2>a magical place full of signs, and she interwove parable

0:16:05.720 --> 0:16:08.680
<v Speaker 2>in fiction with real life, like, for example, like one

0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:11.280
<v Speaker 2>time she's out hunting, right, because actually it turns out

0:16:11.400 --> 0:16:14.560
<v Speaker 2>women hunted too. Sorry. Victorian ideas of everything we think

0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:16.120
<v Speaker 2>we know about the Middle Ages is because of the

0:16:16.160 --> 0:16:20.480
<v Speaker 2>fucking Victorians. They like came up with like renfars and

0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:24.360
<v Speaker 2>like imagined a weird Victorian world of like they like

0:16:24.680 --> 0:16:27.840
<v Speaker 2>reversed all of their annoying social norms back on like

0:16:27.880 --> 0:16:29.880
<v Speaker 2>the fourteen hundreds, Which is not to say the fourteen

0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:32.040
<v Speaker 2>hundreds were like good or a like nice time to

0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:34.600
<v Speaker 2>be alive or a woman, but it's not what the

0:16:34.680 --> 0:16:37.120
<v Speaker 2>Victorian's claim, and so it's not like what we usually

0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:38.400
<v Speaker 2>presume anyway.

0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:40.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, the fanfit was not correct.

0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:44.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, exactly. She's out there hunting because she can, because

0:16:44.520 --> 0:16:47.120
<v Speaker 2>she likes hunting and wants to kill things and eat them.

0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:51.760
<v Speaker 2>But the dogs scare a rabbit out of a bush,

0:16:51.880 --> 0:16:53.880
<v Speaker 2>and the rabbit jumps up in her lap, and I think, like,

0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:56.360
<v Speaker 2>while she's on a horse, which is pretty impressive, rabbit

0:16:56.440 --> 0:17:00.200
<v Speaker 2>that's a jump. Yeah, And so she calls off the

0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:03.240
<v Speaker 2>dogs and she's like, I have a cute rabbit. This

0:17:03.280 --> 0:17:06.000
<v Speaker 2>is as cool. And they go and look in the

0:17:06.040 --> 0:17:08.000
<v Speaker 2>bush that the rabbit came out of, and they all

0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:11.760
<v Speaker 2>find a stone, and on the stone there appears to

0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:13.639
<v Speaker 2>be a marking. I assume it's just like wet in

0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:15.320
<v Speaker 2>a certain pattern, you know, like kind of like a

0:17:15.400 --> 0:17:18.199
<v Speaker 2>Jesus on the toast kind of thing, you know. And

0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:20.960
<v Speaker 2>they find a marking that looks so much like Mother

0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:25.520
<v Speaker 2>Mary holding baby Jesus, just as she was holding the rabbit.

0:17:26.560 --> 0:17:28.080
<v Speaker 2>So they built a shrine on the site.

0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:29.440
<v Speaker 3>Fair enough.

0:17:31.119 --> 0:17:34.320
<v Speaker 2>One story in particular was important to her, and it

0:17:34.400 --> 0:17:37.760
<v Speaker 2>was this sort of politicizing of an old fairy tale

0:17:37.960 --> 0:17:40.960
<v Speaker 2>called the Tale of the Melosine, which is about a

0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:43.040
<v Speaker 2>half fairy woman who was sent by God and I

0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:45.560
<v Speaker 2>thought about making this a four parter and now subjecting

0:17:45.560 --> 0:17:50.640
<v Speaker 2>you to that entire story, but then I didn't. There's

0:17:50.680 --> 0:17:54.119
<v Speaker 2>like a half snake lady and if you look at

0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:56.840
<v Speaker 2>her while she's changing, she'll leave you. And it's actually

0:17:56.960 --> 0:17:58.760
<v Speaker 2>very common thing. There's like a Russian folk tale that

0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:02.320
<v Speaker 2>I read recently and has the same Anyway, this part

0:18:02.359 --> 0:18:04.920
<v Speaker 2>is important to understand that she's into all this stuff

0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:08.240
<v Speaker 2>because later she's going to make use of signs and

0:18:08.359 --> 0:18:12.840
<v Speaker 2>portents for political and military conflict and succeed at it.

0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:16.639
<v Speaker 2>But there's no reason to doubt that even as I

0:18:16.680 --> 0:18:21.199
<v Speaker 2>think she's making up like prophecies and then attributing them

0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:25.200
<v Speaker 2>to someone else, she's still not necessarily doing it cynically,

0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:29.879
<v Speaker 2>Like I think she believes the stuff that she's talking about.

0:18:31.200 --> 0:18:33.879
<v Speaker 2>And that part is just interesting to me because a

0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:36.919
<v Speaker 2>lot of I think we're all bad at looking at

0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:38.960
<v Speaker 2>the Middle Ages of anywhere in the world because we

0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:42.000
<v Speaker 2>keep trying to look at it. It's like, yes, we're

0:18:42.040 --> 0:18:44.159
<v Speaker 2>all the same people back then, but we lived in

0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:46.159
<v Speaker 2>like a different sense of reality.

0:18:46.440 --> 0:18:48.480
<v Speaker 3>You know, magic was more real.

0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:51.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you know, people being like oh yeah, that rock

0:18:52.240 --> 0:18:54.639
<v Speaker 2>totally yep, And that's a good place for a shrine,

0:18:54.720 --> 0:18:57.800
<v Speaker 2>and then if the shne works out, then you're like, hell, yeah,

0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:01.639
<v Speaker 2>you know, we don't have any weird poor tents that

0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:05.280
<v Speaker 2>came and change the way that we think. Instead, we

0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:05.840
<v Speaker 2>have ads.

0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:09.280
<v Speaker 3>I mean people still make pilgrimages to a lot of

0:19:09.280 --> 0:19:11.280
<v Speaker 3>those shrines. I mean they're still there. There's still very

0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:12.560
<v Speaker 3>best in people's lives.

0:19:12.680 --> 0:19:15.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I would totally go to them. But we do

0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:16.520
<v Speaker 2>have ads.

0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:19.040
<v Speaker 3>Oh we're going to an ad. That's what's happening now.

0:19:19.119 --> 0:19:31.359
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, we're going to ads now. Yeah, ed,

0:19:31.359 --> 0:19:34.200
<v Speaker 5>we're back. And if you believe in gambling, like those

0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:35.200
<v Speaker 5>ads might have told you.

0:19:36.200 --> 0:19:39.720
<v Speaker 3>Wow, gamblers love signs too. Gamblers are always looking for

0:19:39.760 --> 0:19:40.440
<v Speaker 3>a sign.

0:19:40.320 --> 0:19:40.639
<v Speaker 1>I know.

0:19:40.920 --> 0:19:43.919
<v Speaker 2>And it's like understandable. I'm not trying to shit on

0:19:43.960 --> 0:19:48.520
<v Speaker 2>people who make either of these types of decisions. But yeah,

0:19:48.560 --> 0:19:52.359
<v Speaker 2>so her mom, Queen Yolande, not to be confused with

0:19:53.320 --> 0:19:59.159
<v Speaker 2>our secondary main character, Queen Ulande Land. Yeah, yeah, Yolanda junior.

0:19:59.200 --> 0:19:59.560
<v Speaker 3>I like that.

0:20:00.400 --> 0:20:03.400
<v Speaker 2>Yolanda senior did more work of ruling than her husband did,

0:20:03.760 --> 0:20:06.840
<v Speaker 2>who is probably epileptic and was much more concerned with

0:20:06.840 --> 0:20:12.480
<v Speaker 2>poetry than administration. So young Yolande Yulandi Junior learned early

0:20:12.520 --> 0:20:15.399
<v Speaker 2>on how women can rule from behind the throne. And

0:20:15.440 --> 0:20:17.000
<v Speaker 2>now we won't mention her mom again. So if I

0:20:17.000 --> 0:20:18.880
<v Speaker 2>say Yulande, I only mean Junior.

0:20:21.000 --> 0:20:26.119
<v Speaker 3>Turned into a Disney movie real quick. No Mom, the

0:20:26.200 --> 0:20:29.560
<v Speaker 3>mom is gone gone. Yeah, sorry mom, never to be

0:20:29.680 --> 0:20:30.439
<v Speaker 3>mentioned again.

0:20:30.960 --> 0:20:35.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, not definitely, not around. Oh god, So young Yolande

0:20:36.000 --> 0:20:38.719
<v Speaker 2>existed politically pretty much as just get married off. So

0:20:38.760 --> 0:20:41.439
<v Speaker 2>she was married off when she was like six. She

0:20:41.480 --> 0:20:43.560
<v Speaker 2>wasn't married when she was six. When she was like six,

0:20:43.640 --> 0:20:46.280
<v Speaker 2>she was betrothed to the ten year old king of Sicily,

0:20:46.600 --> 0:20:49.800
<v Speaker 2>who was French. Because national borders have always been about

0:20:49.800 --> 0:20:51.680
<v Speaker 2>controlling the movement of poor people and not rich people.

0:20:52.760 --> 0:20:55.640
<v Speaker 2>They get married once they're both adults. There's so much

0:20:55.680 --> 0:20:57.320
<v Speaker 2>back and forth here that I'm not going to subject

0:20:57.359 --> 0:20:59.120
<v Speaker 2>you to. One of my least favorite things is the

0:20:59.200 --> 0:21:01.480
<v Speaker 2>doings of nobility by adults.

0:21:01.520 --> 0:21:02.400
<v Speaker 3>You mean like twelve.

0:21:03.000 --> 0:21:05.400
<v Speaker 2>No, actually she's nineteen, so he's like twenty four. She's

0:21:05.440 --> 0:21:09.280
<v Speaker 2>a fucking old maid. She's Yolande's senior by that time.

0:21:09.760 --> 0:21:10.280
<v Speaker 4>Wow.

0:21:10.760 --> 0:21:13.600
<v Speaker 2>Not. Actually she doesn't have kids. She's gonna end up

0:21:13.600 --> 0:21:17.400
<v Speaker 2>with kids anyway. By all accounts. She actually starts off Okay,

0:21:17.440 --> 0:21:18.760
<v Speaker 2>I said I wasn't gonna do it, back and forth.

0:21:18.840 --> 0:21:20.679
<v Speaker 2>She actually starts off being like, fuck this guy, I'm

0:21:20.720 --> 0:21:24.000
<v Speaker 2>not gonna marry him, and I'm gonna like exert some autonomy,

0:21:24.480 --> 0:21:26.159
<v Speaker 2>and that was kind of I think, just testing to

0:21:26.160 --> 0:21:29.560
<v Speaker 2>prove that she could. But in the end she loves

0:21:29.640 --> 0:21:32.480
<v Speaker 2>him and they are a love match for each other,

0:21:33.000 --> 0:21:35.520
<v Speaker 2>or they at least like each other a lot, and

0:21:35.600 --> 0:21:38.639
<v Speaker 2>she's now one of the richest motherfuckers in Europe. She

0:21:38.760 --> 0:21:41.680
<v Speaker 2>heads off to like whichever of her like million castles

0:21:41.720 --> 0:21:43.760
<v Speaker 2>she feels like hanging out at at a given time,

0:21:43.840 --> 0:21:47.080
<v Speaker 2>mostly in central France, because the king of Sicily doesn't

0:21:47.080 --> 0:21:51.840
<v Speaker 2>actually control Sicily because of the weird shit. Her fashion

0:21:52.000 --> 0:21:56.199
<v Speaker 2>is so decadent that priests give sermons complaining about earthly

0:21:56.320 --> 0:22:01.560
<v Speaker 2>vanity everywhere that she goes, and the husband is always

0:22:01.600 --> 0:22:04.960
<v Speaker 2>away trying to retake his kingdom, and so she's ruling

0:22:05.040 --> 0:22:09.399
<v Speaker 2>a decent chunk of France in his absence. Now I

0:22:09.440 --> 0:22:11.520
<v Speaker 2>run into even more of a problem. I love the

0:22:11.520 --> 0:22:16.040
<v Speaker 2>Middle Ages, helmets, swords, armor, weird theology, fairy tales, dresses,

0:22:16.119 --> 0:22:20.639
<v Speaker 2>peasant uprisings. Don't love dysentery, but it's interesting. But I

0:22:20.680 --> 0:22:23.920
<v Speaker 2>fucking hate nobility. I hate them politically. I also hate

0:22:23.920 --> 0:22:25.680
<v Speaker 2>them as a history writer. I don't give a shit

0:22:25.760 --> 0:22:27.240
<v Speaker 2>about so and so married so and so, and then

0:22:27.240 --> 0:22:29.159
<v Speaker 2>I had a third distant claim on the kingdom or whatever.

0:22:30.400 --> 0:22:32.680
<v Speaker 2>But we're gonna have to do some of it in

0:22:32.760 --> 0:22:35.639
<v Speaker 2>order to understand Jon of Arc and it kind of

0:22:35.680 --> 0:22:37.720
<v Speaker 2>works out because there's a guy called the Mad King.

0:22:39.920 --> 0:22:41.800
<v Speaker 2>So this gets Game of Thrones. Y.

0:22:41.880 --> 0:22:43.600
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I was gonna say Game of Thrones.

0:22:44.119 --> 0:22:49.199
<v Speaker 2>Honestly, both Tolkien and Martin, I think took a lot

0:22:49.320 --> 0:22:52.800
<v Speaker 2>from the One hundred Year War, which is what all

0:22:52.840 --> 0:22:55.639
<v Speaker 2>of this is going to take place during. One thing

0:22:55.720 --> 0:22:57.680
<v Speaker 2>you have to know is that there's this guy named

0:22:57.720 --> 0:23:00.320
<v Speaker 2>King Charles the sixth. He is the King of As

0:23:00.359 --> 0:23:05.119
<v Speaker 2>with that nice classic French name Charles, and he's not

0:23:05.200 --> 0:23:07.520
<v Speaker 2>living in the same reality as everyone else, which is

0:23:07.520 --> 0:23:11.720
<v Speaker 2>saying something like he he's the mad King. He's he

0:23:11.760 --> 0:23:15.320
<v Speaker 2>would almost certainly by modern sense, be schizophrenic.

0:23:15.520 --> 0:23:18.040
<v Speaker 3>Right, Is he the one that had the horrible shaped head?

0:23:19.160 --> 0:23:21.520
<v Speaker 3>One of the Charles has had a very bad shaped head.

0:23:21.560 --> 0:23:23.520
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I don't know. They all have big noses, is

0:23:23.560 --> 0:23:25.720
<v Speaker 2>the only thing that I know about how they look.

0:23:26.240 --> 0:23:30.000
<v Speaker 2>Both him and his son are like notable for their noses.

0:23:30.520 --> 0:23:33.280
<v Speaker 3>And it's like if your official portrait as the king,

0:23:33.640 --> 0:23:35.840
<v Speaker 3>you look kind of messed up. You know, that boy

0:23:35.880 --> 0:23:38.000
<v Speaker 3>looked terrible, you know, look awful.

0:23:38.280 --> 0:23:42.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's true. One time he went into a psychotic

0:23:42.280 --> 0:23:45.240
<v Speaker 2>state and killed five of his own men while they

0:23:45.280 --> 0:23:48.080
<v Speaker 2>were I think out hunting. He just like, ah, like

0:23:48.160 --> 0:23:50.080
<v Speaker 2>sorted killing guys, you know, And then they had to

0:23:50.119 --> 0:23:54.680
<v Speaker 2>like restrain him, and he would spend his time wandering

0:23:54.720 --> 0:23:57.000
<v Speaker 2>around saying he wasn't king, and his name was George,

0:23:57.160 --> 0:23:58.960
<v Speaker 2>and he was made of glass and if anyone touched

0:23:59.000 --> 0:23:59.960
<v Speaker 2>him he'd shatter.

0:24:00.160 --> 0:24:01.760
<v Speaker 3>Right, he hit the glass delusion.

0:24:02.160 --> 0:24:07.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, old glass man, incredible and like, you know what, overall,

0:24:08.760 --> 0:24:12.080
<v Speaker 2>thinking you're not king probably better than thinking you're king.

0:24:12.720 --> 0:24:18.000
<v Speaker 2>One of the better delusions. Yeah, he was fairly beloved.

0:24:18.359 --> 0:24:20.560
<v Speaker 2>He didn't get the nickname the mad until later when

0:24:20.600 --> 0:24:22.080
<v Speaker 2>they were talking, like after he was dead.

0:24:22.680 --> 0:24:24.520
<v Speaker 3>So I guess he only accidentally killed a bunch of

0:24:24.560 --> 0:24:26.760
<v Speaker 3>guys just the once. If people actually liked him.

0:24:27.880 --> 0:24:32.240
<v Speaker 2>Everyone who wasn't Jewish, Okay, it took me a while

0:24:32.240 --> 0:24:34.080
<v Speaker 2>because everyone was like, oh everyone who was belove blah

0:24:34.080 --> 0:24:35.720
<v Speaker 2>blah blah. And then when I was like following like

0:24:35.800 --> 0:24:37.879
<v Speaker 2>the eighth rabbit hole, down the eighth rabbit hole. And

0:24:37.920 --> 0:24:41.560
<v Speaker 2>I think I was even like how antisemitic were these motherfuckers?

0:24:41.800 --> 0:24:43.919
<v Speaker 2>I can't remember exactly, but I was like I went looking.

0:24:44.880 --> 0:24:46.320
<v Speaker 2>He kicked all the Jews out of France.

0:24:47.280 --> 0:24:48.040
<v Speaker 3>Not great.

0:24:48.720 --> 0:24:50.800
<v Speaker 2>This is like one of like three times that's happened.

0:24:51.720 --> 0:24:54.200
<v Speaker 2>So he sucks. But I bet he didn't do it

0:24:54.240 --> 0:24:55.399
<v Speaker 2>while he thought he was George.

0:24:56.280 --> 0:24:57.240
<v Speaker 3>George wouldn't have done that.

0:24:57.760 --> 0:24:59.719
<v Speaker 2>I know. George is just a nice man made out

0:24:59.720 --> 0:25:03.760
<v Speaker 2>of clafe us. His wife is a beau from the

0:25:03.800 --> 0:25:07.719
<v Speaker 2>backwater of Bavaria, was an essence the queen regnant like

0:25:08.400 --> 0:25:11.560
<v Speaker 2>it was like her and the king's uncles like fighting

0:25:11.600 --> 0:25:15.359
<v Speaker 2>it out for power while King Charles was busy locked

0:25:15.440 --> 0:25:21.600
<v Speaker 2>up raving and they start arguing. Soon enough they're arguing

0:25:21.640 --> 0:25:25.200
<v Speaker 2>with like spears and shit, which is to say, there's

0:25:25.240 --> 0:25:29.720
<v Speaker 2>a civil war. France was already in a war, one

0:25:29.800 --> 0:25:33.080
<v Speaker 2>hundred year war, which they call that instead of the

0:25:33.200 --> 0:25:36.400
<v Speaker 2>less catchy one hundred and sixteen year, four month, three

0:25:36.440 --> 0:25:37.480
<v Speaker 2>week and four day war.

0:25:38.600 --> 0:25:40.440
<v Speaker 3>Well, they're not counting the breaks they took.

0:25:42.440 --> 0:25:44.520
<v Speaker 2>They did dig a lot of breaks, which makes sense

0:25:44.560 --> 0:25:46.879
<v Speaker 2>because it's really hard to fight a war for one

0:25:46.920 --> 0:25:48.520
<v Speaker 2>hundred and sixteen years straight.

0:25:48.720 --> 0:25:50.919
<v Speaker 3>And you have to walk to war back then, so

0:25:51.000 --> 0:25:52.000
<v Speaker 3>it just took longer.

0:25:52.080 --> 0:25:54.679
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, you really did. Like some people got horses,

0:25:54.720 --> 0:25:56.280
<v Speaker 2>but they had to go at walking pace.

0:25:56.560 --> 0:25:59.200
<v Speaker 3>Because most people were just walking there. I think about

0:25:59.200 --> 0:26:01.200
<v Speaker 3>them all the time we're watching Game of Thrones. It's

0:26:01.200 --> 0:26:03.760
<v Speaker 3>like like the battle maybe lasts days and days and

0:26:03.760 --> 0:26:06.520
<v Speaker 3>it's horrible and everyone has festering wounds. But like you

0:26:06.800 --> 0:26:08.520
<v Speaker 3>walked there for like six weeks.

0:26:08.840 --> 0:26:12.879
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, just robbing everyone as you go and being like,

0:26:13.520 --> 0:26:16.560
<v Speaker 2>don't worry. The state is what protects you from banditry.

0:26:16.680 --> 0:26:18.840
<v Speaker 2>Now give me all of your food and I'm going

0:26:18.880 --> 0:26:19.920
<v Speaker 2>to kill you, not.

0:26:20.119 --> 0:26:23.480
<v Speaker 3>Or just and sand Yeah, we at least you won't

0:26:23.520 --> 0:26:23.920
<v Speaker 3>need the food.

0:26:23.920 --> 0:26:27.199
<v Speaker 2>Then that's true. It's a good point, you know, saving

0:26:27.240 --> 0:26:30.520
<v Speaker 2>the country side. They're traveling around, saving the countryside from starving,

0:26:30.800 --> 0:26:34.000
<v Speaker 2>is what they're doing. So now France has a civil

0:26:34.040 --> 0:26:36.520
<v Speaker 2>war on top of a hundred year war. And this

0:26:36.680 --> 0:26:40.720
<v Speaker 2>is the annoying name of the Armagnac Burgundian Civil War,

0:26:41.119 --> 0:26:43.639
<v Speaker 2>which is only annoying to me because I don't like

0:26:43.920 --> 0:26:46.240
<v Speaker 2>pronouncing French names too many syllables.

0:26:46.640 --> 0:26:49.480
<v Speaker 3>Is Armagnac, the name of that like fake liquor that

0:26:49.520 --> 0:26:51.480
<v Speaker 3>one of the guys on the Sopranos got tricked into

0:26:51.520 --> 0:26:55.280
<v Speaker 3>investing in. Probably what am I thinking.

0:26:55.040 --> 0:26:57.720
<v Speaker 2>Of the way I remembered how to pronounce this word

0:26:57.800 --> 0:27:01.520
<v Speaker 2>is that it kind of ends in cognac or rhymes

0:27:01.560 --> 0:27:06.199
<v Speaker 2>with whatever. The House of Orleans are the Armagnacs, and

0:27:06.240 --> 0:27:09.320
<v Speaker 2>the House of Burgundy are the Burgundians. It was a

0:27:09.359 --> 0:27:12.600
<v Speaker 2>war between two of the king's other brothers, but it

0:27:12.680 --> 0:27:16.119
<v Speaker 2>was also about political and economic systems and shit. The

0:27:16.240 --> 0:27:20.680
<v Speaker 2>Armagnacs were pro French culturally, and they were like, yay,

0:27:20.800 --> 0:27:25.440
<v Speaker 2>we like God, agriculture and feudalism, the.

0:27:25.400 --> 0:27:27.359
<v Speaker 3>Three pillars of society.

0:27:27.560 --> 0:27:31.439
<v Speaker 2>But the Burgundians were pro English or English culture, and

0:27:31.480 --> 0:27:34.919
<v Speaker 2>we're like, we like pastoralism and sheep and artisans and

0:27:35.000 --> 0:27:39.240
<v Speaker 2>middle classes and cities. And it's interesting because like those

0:27:39.320 --> 0:27:41.119
<v Speaker 2>don't have to line up, you know how like modern

0:27:41.119 --> 0:27:43.239
<v Speaker 2>politics is like sometimes you'll meet people who have just

0:27:43.240 --> 0:27:47.159
<v Speaker 2>like grab bag politics, you know, like modern tankies right

0:27:47.240 --> 0:27:50.800
<v Speaker 2>where they're like, oh, we like fucking this dictator and

0:27:50.840 --> 0:27:54.520
<v Speaker 2>hate this other dictator, and we like support both Russia

0:27:54.560 --> 0:27:57.600
<v Speaker 2>and Palestine. You know, it's like random ass fucking politics.

0:27:57.680 --> 0:28:00.480
<v Speaker 3>The average American has completely incoherent politics.

0:28:01.200 --> 0:28:03.240
<v Speaker 2>That's how I feel about this too, right, because like,

0:28:03.280 --> 0:28:06.640
<v Speaker 2>pastoralism and sheep are not how you build a strong city.

0:28:06.680 --> 0:28:10.439
<v Speaker 2>Like agriculture, the sheep can't even live in the city. No,

0:28:11.000 --> 0:28:16.040
<v Speaker 2>agriculture is how you build big cities. But whatever. The

0:28:16.080 --> 0:28:18.920
<v Speaker 2>Burgundians are usually painted as the villain in this story,

0:28:19.520 --> 0:28:22.600
<v Speaker 2>and they definitely started this war by having the Duke

0:28:22.640 --> 0:28:25.840
<v Speaker 2>of Orleans assassinated in the streets, and then their like

0:28:25.880 --> 0:28:29.600
<v Speaker 2>defense about like did you kill that man, was yes,

0:28:30.240 --> 0:28:33.199
<v Speaker 2>we killed him. He was a tyrant at least an

0:28:33.200 --> 0:28:39.000
<v Speaker 2>honest yeah, fair enough. The Burgundians are not necessarily any better.

0:28:39.280 --> 0:28:41.840
<v Speaker 2>They had like a populist vibe to them, but as

0:28:41.880 --> 0:28:44.520
<v Speaker 2>we're all learning right now, that does not mean actual

0:28:44.560 --> 0:28:48.120
<v Speaker 2>class loyalty to the working class. They have like a

0:28:48.200 --> 0:28:50.560
<v Speaker 2>kind of like a fuck the nobles thing, but they

0:28:50.600 --> 0:28:53.160
<v Speaker 2>themselves are all nobility too, And.

0:28:53.120 --> 0:28:55.000
<v Speaker 3>It's not like they're trying to abolish the monarchy.

0:28:55.360 --> 0:28:59.360
<v Speaker 2>No, they want a different, different ruler of it. And and

0:28:58.880 --> 0:29:00.680
<v Speaker 2>they I mean, you know, on some level they're like, well,

0:29:00.680 --> 0:29:02.680
<v Speaker 2>we want Burgundy to be a separate thing from France,

0:29:02.760 --> 0:29:06.280
<v Speaker 2>And soon enough they're siding with the British, and no

0:29:06.320 --> 0:29:08.479
<v Speaker 2>one likes people who side with a foreign invasion, and

0:29:08.520 --> 0:29:11.920
<v Speaker 2>they like totally do anti populas shit too. I spent

0:29:12.000 --> 0:29:14.040
<v Speaker 2>a long time trying to be like, wait a second,

0:29:14.080 --> 0:29:16.160
<v Speaker 2>or the Burgundians the good guys here, And the answer

0:29:16.240 --> 0:29:18.040
<v Speaker 2>is no, there's no good.

0:29:17.840 --> 0:29:21.440
<v Speaker 3>Guys, no good guys trying to become king.

0:29:21.800 --> 0:29:28.200
<v Speaker 2>No, just really doesn't happen. Sorry, Aragorn, you're a fantasy character.

0:29:30.040 --> 0:29:33.239
<v Speaker 2>So Yolanda, the lady whose story we're gonna follow through

0:29:33.280 --> 0:29:35.959
<v Speaker 2>all this, Her and her husband are on the Armagnac side,

0:29:36.280 --> 0:29:38.760
<v Speaker 2>and their daughter Marie is going to marry the dolphin,

0:29:39.200 --> 0:29:43.160
<v Speaker 2>Daulphin Dolphin. I'm gonna call them the dolphin because dolphin. Yeah,

0:29:43.200 --> 0:29:46.120
<v Speaker 2>it's the fancy French word for crown prince. And if

0:29:46.120 --> 0:29:48.280
<v Speaker 2>it sounds like dolphin to you one, it's because I

0:29:48.360 --> 0:29:51.280
<v Speaker 2>just called it dolphin because I'm bad at pronouncing French dauphin.

0:29:51.680 --> 0:29:54.800
<v Speaker 2>The defont is. It's not a coincidence. Did you know this?

0:29:54.840 --> 0:29:56.240
<v Speaker 2>Have you heard of this? The default thing?

0:29:56.800 --> 0:29:59.400
<v Speaker 3>Wait? So it's etymologically related to dolphins.

0:30:00.000 --> 0:30:04.000
<v Speaker 2>What us the word for dolphin? Because some guy with

0:30:04.080 --> 0:30:06.920
<v Speaker 2>a dolphin on his coat of arms a long ass

0:30:06.960 --> 0:30:09.720
<v Speaker 2>time before had made a deal with a French king

0:30:09.880 --> 0:30:13.080
<v Speaker 2>in exchange for having the word for crown prince become dolphin.

0:30:13.320 --> 0:30:17.360
<v Speaker 3>Oh so the arrangement was explicitly about the word. Yeah,

0:30:17.400 --> 0:30:19.840
<v Speaker 3>that's a man with vision. That's a man with vision.

0:30:20.320 --> 0:30:23.440
<v Speaker 3>I know he like sold either his title or his manner.

0:30:23.480 --> 0:30:24.800
<v Speaker 3>I had a hard time figuring it out because I

0:30:24.800 --> 0:30:27.040
<v Speaker 3>didn't want to get too lost in the sidetrack, you know.

0:30:27.720 --> 0:30:31.200
<v Speaker 3>And in exchange for hundreds of years, the royal heir

0:30:31.400 --> 0:30:37.400
<v Speaker 3>was named the Dolphin, okay, which is like respect Middle

0:30:37.400 --> 0:30:38.760
<v Speaker 3>Ages for being fucking weird.

0:30:39.120 --> 0:30:39.320
<v Speaker 1>You know.

0:30:39.880 --> 0:30:42.280
<v Speaker 3>He's not asking for jewels or lands. He's like, no,

0:30:42.480 --> 0:30:44.240
<v Speaker 3>I want everyone to have to say this dumb thing

0:30:44.360 --> 0:30:45.320
<v Speaker 3>that makes them think of me.

0:30:45.840 --> 0:30:46.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:30:46.080 --> 0:30:48.040
<v Speaker 2>I think he got paid too, but like he like,

0:30:48.160 --> 0:30:50.600
<v Speaker 2>I think he was like giving up titles in land

0:30:50.680 --> 0:30:53.520
<v Speaker 2>or something. I think he kind of like got eminent domained,

0:30:54.000 --> 0:30:58.160
<v Speaker 2>you know. But someone listening knows this really well, and

0:30:58.200 --> 0:31:03.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm not it. I'm not that person. So Marie marries Charles,

0:31:03.360 --> 0:31:07.280
<v Speaker 2>the sixth third son, Charles, who is not actually the

0:31:07.320 --> 0:31:11.520
<v Speaker 2>Dolphin yet. I'm just gonna say dolphin. But don't worry,

0:31:12.040 --> 0:31:13.760
<v Speaker 2>a lot of people are going to die in France

0:31:13.960 --> 0:31:17.840
<v Speaker 2>especially nobles, and so he'll get a chance, much like

0:31:17.880 --> 0:31:20.000
<v Speaker 2>he has a chance to take advantage of these sweet,

0:31:20.080 --> 0:31:22.720
<v Speaker 2>sweet deals if they buy a time machine and go

0:31:22.840 --> 0:31:26.040
<v Speaker 2>back in time and advertise to the dufall.

0:31:26.600 --> 0:31:29.000
<v Speaker 3>Alrightp Charles, you would have loved chumba casino?

0:31:29.720 --> 0:31:31.120
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, who doesn't?

0:31:39.000 --> 0:31:39.840
<v Speaker 3>And we're back.

0:31:41.440 --> 0:31:43.480
<v Speaker 2>All right, you've got a hundred year war and you've

0:31:43.480 --> 0:31:48.600
<v Speaker 2>got a civil war. Why not have an invasion by

0:31:48.640 --> 0:31:49.680
<v Speaker 2>a Shakespeare character.

0:31:50.440 --> 0:31:52.280
<v Speaker 3>I mean, you're already doing two wars. I think rule

0:31:52.320 --> 0:31:54.160
<v Speaker 3>of threes makes it funnier to have a third one.

0:31:54.600 --> 0:31:57.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And to be fair, this is more back. It's

0:31:57.200 --> 0:31:59.240
<v Speaker 2>almost like the restarting the hundred years War is like

0:31:59.280 --> 0:32:02.240
<v Speaker 2>kind of on a break, you know. And then Henry

0:32:02.240 --> 0:32:04.400
<v Speaker 2>the Fifth is like, and this is smart of Henry

0:32:04.400 --> 0:32:07.280
<v Speaker 2>the Fifth. He's like, oh, they're in a civil war, Well,

0:32:07.320 --> 0:32:09.120
<v Speaker 2>that seems like a really good time to go fuck

0:32:09.160 --> 0:32:13.480
<v Speaker 2>them all up. And I've played enough risk. I know

0:32:13.520 --> 0:32:14.960
<v Speaker 2>that this is true.

0:32:15.080 --> 0:32:17.080
<v Speaker 3>I mean, maybe he was just trying to help them

0:32:17.200 --> 0:32:19.880
<v Speaker 3>resolve their differences by realizing that they had a common enemy.

0:32:20.240 --> 0:32:23.240
<v Speaker 2>That's true. That's true. If if he was in charge,

0:32:23.320 --> 0:32:25.280
<v Speaker 2>no one would be fighting with each other. That is

0:32:25.320 --> 0:32:28.080
<v Speaker 2>like the way that people defend the idea of the

0:32:28.120 --> 0:32:32.280
<v Speaker 2>modern state. They're like, well, you know, one guy's in charge,

0:32:32.280 --> 0:32:36.040
<v Speaker 2>so now we have peace. So he invades, and both

0:32:36.080 --> 0:32:39.320
<v Speaker 2>sides immediately are like, who can suck up to him

0:32:39.360 --> 0:32:42.480
<v Speaker 2>the fastest and most effectively and get the English on

0:32:42.520 --> 0:32:45.120
<v Speaker 2>their side. So once again there's no good guys in

0:32:45.160 --> 0:32:49.000
<v Speaker 2>this story. Both sides offer him royal marriages and shit,

0:32:49.760 --> 0:32:51.840
<v Speaker 2>and he doesn't take either because he looks at this

0:32:51.880 --> 0:32:53.840
<v Speaker 2>as a clear sign of weakness and is like, oh,

0:32:53.840 --> 0:32:55.800
<v Speaker 2>I could fucking take you both. You're both fucking just

0:32:56.120 --> 0:32:57.720
<v Speaker 2>rolling over before I even get there.

0:32:58.360 --> 0:32:59.960
<v Speaker 3>Of all you have is daughters, Like.

0:33:00.160 --> 0:33:04.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, fortunately a daughter of a non normal daughter of

0:33:04.000 --> 0:33:07.560
<v Speaker 2>France is going to kick his fucking ass. In August

0:33:07.600 --> 0:33:10.520
<v Speaker 2>fourteen fifteen, he and twelve thousand of his closest friends

0:33:10.640 --> 0:33:14.200
<v Speaker 2>land in France. They take the city of Harflee, which

0:33:14.480 --> 0:33:16.240
<v Speaker 2>you know, about half the things I looked up how

0:33:16.240 --> 0:33:20.720
<v Speaker 2>to pronounce, and then sometimes I forgot so Harflee and

0:33:20.760 --> 0:33:23.840
<v Speaker 2>he takes the city at great cost, dysentery fucks them

0:33:23.880 --> 0:33:27.840
<v Speaker 2>up worse than the enemy, and then you got one

0:33:27.880 --> 0:33:31.200
<v Speaker 2>of the most fun battles in all medieval history. Have

0:33:31.240 --> 0:33:33.640
<v Speaker 2>you ever heard of the Great historic Battle of Agincore.

0:33:36.280 --> 0:33:39.320
<v Speaker 3>My high school history teacher says that I should say, yes.

0:33:39.440 --> 0:33:41.240
<v Speaker 2>Okay, great, then you already know it, so we'll just

0:33:41.240 --> 0:33:41.920
<v Speaker 2>skip over it.

0:33:42.160 --> 0:33:44.520
<v Speaker 3>No no, no, no for the listener, for the listener.

0:33:44.680 --> 0:33:48.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally totally. I actually I knew about

0:33:48.680 --> 0:33:50.720
<v Speaker 2>this battle, but I wouldn't have remembered his name. Like

0:33:50.840 --> 0:33:53.080
<v Speaker 2>names come in and out of my head within like

0:33:53.160 --> 0:33:55.400
<v Speaker 2>next week, I won't remember the name of this battle.

0:33:56.680 --> 0:34:01.160
<v Speaker 2>This is a slaughter. Henry the Fifth has nine hundred

0:34:01.240 --> 0:34:05.959
<v Speaker 2>knights and five thousand long bowmen, and the French didn't

0:34:06.000 --> 0:34:10.239
<v Speaker 2>really fuck around with longbows. It's like an English cultural thing, right,

0:34:10.440 --> 0:34:12.920
<v Speaker 2>the French are hunting with crossbows.

0:34:12.640 --> 0:34:15.000
<v Speaker 3>When this was kind of the time period where they're

0:34:15.000 --> 0:34:17.799
<v Speaker 3>still sort of working out which one is better, right,

0:34:17.840 --> 0:34:19.720
<v Speaker 3>Like these are sort of newer technologies.

0:34:20.440 --> 0:34:23.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and then, like my understanding, like the English longbow

0:34:23.680 --> 0:34:26.879
<v Speaker 2>is like a fucking thing. It is like you are

0:34:27.000 --> 0:34:30.440
<v Speaker 2>training your whole life to have the arms and chests

0:34:30.440 --> 0:34:32.960
<v Speaker 2>and shoulders to pull this thing back. It is an

0:34:33.000 --> 0:34:37.040
<v Speaker 2>incredibly powerful weapon that is incredibly specialized, and you need

0:34:37.120 --> 0:34:39.160
<v Speaker 2>like a culture built around it in order to make

0:34:39.280 --> 0:34:42.120
<v Speaker 2>use of it in battle. At least according to the

0:34:42.160 --> 0:34:45.040
<v Speaker 2>far too many hours of YouTube I've watched put on

0:34:45.160 --> 0:34:49.160
<v Speaker 2>by probably terrible people. I have seen so many videos

0:34:49.160 --> 0:34:52.560
<v Speaker 2>of can the English longbow penetrate a French breastplate?

0:34:53.760 --> 0:34:55.880
<v Speaker 3>Well, at least we have the answers to these questions.

0:34:56.200 --> 0:34:59.120
<v Speaker 2>We don't. This is the best part. It's because whoever

0:34:59.200 --> 0:35:01.799
<v Speaker 2>makes these videos is either siding with the longbow or

0:35:01.840 --> 0:35:04.160
<v Speaker 2>the armor, and you can tell ahead of time. It's

0:35:04.200 --> 0:35:04.840
<v Speaker 2>so annoying.

0:35:05.000 --> 0:35:06.280
<v Speaker 3>We need a double blind study.

0:35:06.920 --> 0:35:11.880
<v Speaker 2>I know, I know, but we certainly know what wins

0:35:12.239 --> 0:35:16.360
<v Speaker 2>five thousand longbowmen versus like kind of the entire French nobility.

0:35:17.360 --> 0:35:19.680
<v Speaker 2>The French did not fuck around with longbows. They hunted

0:35:19.719 --> 0:35:21.839
<v Speaker 2>a crossbows. They had the numbers. They had at least

0:35:21.920 --> 0:35:25.319
<v Speaker 2>fourteen thousand, easily twenty five thousand people coming up on

0:35:25.920 --> 0:35:31.240
<v Speaker 2>like six thousand, right, six to ten thousand French soldiers died,

0:35:32.280 --> 0:35:37.200
<v Speaker 2>most of them knights aka the nobility. It's possible way

0:35:37.200 --> 0:35:39.160
<v Speaker 2>more than that number of French people died because they

0:35:39.200 --> 0:35:41.600
<v Speaker 2>literally didn't count the non noble dead.

0:35:42.719 --> 0:35:44.239
<v Speaker 3>I mean, at that point, how do you count any

0:35:44.280 --> 0:35:45.920
<v Speaker 3>of them? Like, how are you cleaning this up?

0:35:47.080 --> 0:35:50.440
<v Speaker 2>I mean, these are the most in charge people in

0:35:50.480 --> 0:35:52.879
<v Speaker 2>the country. So like they're the only people that there's

0:35:52.880 --> 0:35:57.080
<v Speaker 2>like records about right now. They're all gone. The English

0:35:57.280 --> 0:36:00.439
<v Speaker 2>lost one hundred and twelve people, six hundred total people

0:36:00.440 --> 0:36:03.480
<v Speaker 2>if you include like man at arms and you know,

0:36:03.840 --> 0:36:07.640
<v Speaker 2>trash like that. And it's because the English just stood

0:36:07.680 --> 0:36:10.760
<v Speaker 2>there and shot arrows at nights stuck in a field

0:36:10.760 --> 0:36:12.000
<v Speaker 2>of mud.

0:36:12.440 --> 0:36:14.880
<v Speaker 3>That's rough. I mean, I guess if you have the

0:36:14.960 --> 0:36:18.560
<v Speaker 3>longer range, if you're you know, ranged weaponry against ranged weaponry,

0:36:19.000 --> 0:36:19.920
<v Speaker 3>and yours go further.

0:36:20.360 --> 0:36:24.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's ranged weaponry versus knights on horseback.

0:36:25.320 --> 0:36:25.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:36:25.520 --> 0:36:26.400
<v Speaker 3>They didn't have a chance.

0:36:27.400 --> 0:36:31.960
<v Speaker 2>No, they absolutely did not. And I wish it was

0:36:32.000 --> 0:36:34.640
<v Speaker 2>this easy to wipe out. If all the billionaires and

0:36:34.640 --> 0:36:38.279
<v Speaker 2>sons of billionaires formed an elite squad of soldiers, I

0:36:38.320 --> 0:36:41.759
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't be sad, That's all I'm gonna say, especially if

0:36:41.800 --> 0:36:44.640
<v Speaker 2>I get longbows and they only get swords. I don't know.

0:36:44.840 --> 0:36:47.239
<v Speaker 2>This is the like, don't fuck with longbow's battle. This

0:36:47.400 --> 0:36:50.520
<v Speaker 2>is like what's a nor okay, so like a webu

0:36:50.640 --> 0:36:54.360
<v Speaker 2>is Japan and norwbu's Norway. What's the like generic Western

0:36:54.400 --> 0:36:59.600
<v Speaker 2>Europe Middle Ages boo ingle boo. Well, I don't like

0:36:59.640 --> 0:37:02.200
<v Speaker 2>the sound of that, no one should.

0:37:02.640 --> 0:37:05.040
<v Speaker 3>Are there people who are sort of just that have

0:37:05.120 --> 0:37:09.720
<v Speaker 3>that sort of waboo fascination with Anglo Saxons.

0:37:10.280 --> 0:37:13.279
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I've seen a lot of their videos and it's

0:37:13.320 --> 0:37:20.520
<v Speaker 2>a terrible shame because I really like medieval weapons. But anyway,

0:37:21.600 --> 0:37:23.920
<v Speaker 2>this battle, it just fucks everything up.

0:37:24.239 --> 0:37:26.040
<v Speaker 3>We just don't send our rich boys to war like

0:37:26.040 --> 0:37:27.600
<v Speaker 3>we used to, I know.

0:37:27.640 --> 0:37:29.600
<v Speaker 2>And it's actually just like the one defense you can

0:37:29.640 --> 0:37:32.719
<v Speaker 2>make of feudalism is it was like the peasantry isn't

0:37:32.719 --> 0:37:35.120
<v Speaker 2>going to war at this point, like by and large,

0:37:35.120 --> 0:37:37.000
<v Speaker 2>I mean, they're getting murdered in the war by both

0:37:37.040 --> 0:37:39.000
<v Speaker 2>sides who are just bandits arning around killing them and

0:37:39.000 --> 0:37:39.920
<v Speaker 2>taking all their stuff.

0:37:40.040 --> 0:37:41.560
<v Speaker 3>But they didn't have to walk there.

0:37:41.800 --> 0:37:44.239
<v Speaker 2>I know, they could just stay and die at home.

0:37:45.880 --> 0:37:48.399
<v Speaker 3>Our lords used to actually get out there and try it.

0:37:48.760 --> 0:37:53.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, totally. Meanwhile, the heir to the throne of

0:37:53.440 --> 0:37:57.520
<v Speaker 2>France dies of dysentery, the next heir dies of an

0:37:57.520 --> 0:38:01.759
<v Speaker 2>ear infection, and so young Charles, he's like fourteen years old,

0:38:02.040 --> 0:38:03.040
<v Speaker 2>is suddenly the daufont.

0:38:03.719 --> 0:38:07.600
<v Speaker 3>So he was third, he was third, and now he's first. Yep.

0:38:08.800 --> 0:38:11.120
<v Speaker 2>And he does not live with his parents. He lives

0:38:11.120 --> 0:38:14.360
<v Speaker 2>with his bride to be's family, because he's a total

0:38:14.400 --> 0:38:16.960
<v Speaker 2>mama's boy, but not to his mom, but to Yolande,

0:38:17.320 --> 0:38:21.080
<v Speaker 2>who actually pays attention to him his mom by all accounts,

0:38:21.080 --> 0:38:22.800
<v Speaker 2>although she's like the villain and the story, so everyone

0:38:22.800 --> 0:38:25.319
<v Speaker 2>says she sucks, but it sounds like she sucks, right.

0:38:25.920 --> 0:38:29.439
<v Speaker 2>Where's Yolanda who's actually paid attention to him and been

0:38:29.520 --> 0:38:32.120
<v Speaker 2>nice and has been raising him ever since he was

0:38:32.120 --> 0:38:35.840
<v Speaker 2>betrothed to her daughter Marie, So he's living over with

0:38:36.520 --> 0:38:40.200
<v Speaker 2>mom in law. Charles the Seventh's actual mom at this

0:38:40.280 --> 0:38:44.000
<v Speaker 2>point is a boom has gone traitor. Henry the fifth

0:38:44.040 --> 0:38:46.920
<v Speaker 2>is back, and the Burgundian faction has switched sides to

0:38:46.960 --> 0:38:51.000
<v Speaker 2>supporting the English invasion, and the Queen non regnant has

0:38:51.040 --> 0:38:54.120
<v Speaker 2>switched sides to supporting the Burgundians, so she's now supporting

0:38:54.160 --> 0:38:59.000
<v Speaker 2>the English invasion. And since her husband is usually locked

0:38:59.080 --> 0:39:02.640
<v Speaker 2>up somewhere believing he was the king, the Defont is

0:39:02.680 --> 0:39:05.360
<v Speaker 2>now kind of the ruler of France, but so is

0:39:05.440 --> 0:39:08.319
<v Speaker 2>the wife, and so are all these other factions, and like,

0:39:08.360 --> 0:39:10.080
<v Speaker 2>no one really knows who's in charge.

0:39:10.200 --> 0:39:11.920
<v Speaker 3>They didn't have a twenty fifth Amendment, they didn't have

0:39:11.960 --> 0:39:12.840
<v Speaker 3>a plan for this.

0:39:13.480 --> 0:39:15.640
<v Speaker 2>No no. They were like, hey, step down, and he

0:39:15.680 --> 0:39:17.480
<v Speaker 2>was like, I can totally do it. Let me just

0:39:17.560 --> 0:39:21.680
<v Speaker 2>debate the Henry the fifth. It's gonna be totally fine.

0:39:21.719 --> 0:39:24.439
<v Speaker 2>And then he was like, I'm made of glass, give

0:39:24.440 --> 0:39:29.560
<v Speaker 2>me some ice cream. But since Dad was still technically king,

0:39:29.920 --> 0:39:32.680
<v Speaker 2>whenever he like wasn't locked up, he would do things

0:39:32.760 --> 0:39:35.200
<v Speaker 2>be like aha, I'm not crazy, Let's go off and

0:39:35.320 --> 0:39:38.400
<v Speaker 2>do this incredibly bad idea military excursion that has no

0:39:38.440 --> 0:39:42.080
<v Speaker 2>strategic value and get everyone killed. So it like wasn't

0:39:42.120 --> 0:39:46.000
<v Speaker 2>good for France. Henry the fifth has reinvaded and just

0:39:46.080 --> 0:39:49.080
<v Speaker 2>fucking things up, just wrecking the place. Yolanda is trying

0:39:49.120 --> 0:39:52.440
<v Speaker 2>desperately to end the civil war, like is just trying

0:39:52.480 --> 0:39:55.279
<v Speaker 2>to get Hey, aren't we all not English? Can we

0:39:55.360 --> 0:39:57.880
<v Speaker 2>just fucking get along please and kick out the English?

0:39:58.200 --> 0:40:01.880
<v Speaker 2>But neither side will agree on terms. When the Burgundians

0:40:01.920 --> 0:40:05.120
<v Speaker 2>finally take Paris, the people of Paris are overjoyed and

0:40:05.200 --> 0:40:08.840
<v Speaker 2>riotous and do a lot of wealth redistribution. They're chanting

0:40:08.880 --> 0:40:12.200
<v Speaker 2>things like death, death, the town is ours, kill them all,

0:40:12.360 --> 0:40:12.960
<v Speaker 2>kill them all.

0:40:13.640 --> 0:40:15.280
<v Speaker 3>Maybe it sounds fancier in French.

0:40:16.239 --> 0:40:19.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, sounds great. I don't know, I mean terrible. It

0:40:19.160 --> 0:40:21.040
<v Speaker 2>is terrible. We should redistribute the wealth.

0:40:21.040 --> 0:40:21.880
<v Speaker 3>I mean, it doesn't rhyme.

0:40:22.520 --> 0:40:26.279
<v Speaker 2>That's true, that's true. I like this chante because it

0:40:26.280 --> 0:40:29.200
<v Speaker 2>brings to mind one of my old favorite sayings. Every

0:40:29.200 --> 0:40:30.759
<v Speaker 2>now and then, the poor supposed to rise up and

0:40:30.800 --> 0:40:32.319
<v Speaker 2>kill all the rich people. It's the only good part

0:40:32.360 --> 0:40:33.080
<v Speaker 2>about being poor.

0:40:33.719 --> 0:40:36.000
<v Speaker 3>I mean, it's like how forest fires are necessary for

0:40:36.040 --> 0:40:36.879
<v Speaker 3>certain seeds to.

0:40:36.840 --> 0:40:41.280
<v Speaker 2>Germinate, right exactly, the tree of liberty, et cetera.

0:40:45.080 --> 0:40:47.480
<v Speaker 3>I hate to derailize as we're getting to the sacking

0:40:47.480 --> 0:40:50.400
<v Speaker 3>of Paris, but every time this quote comes up, I

0:40:50.440 --> 0:40:52.400
<v Speaker 3>have to say, the only time I've ever heard someone

0:40:52.440 --> 0:40:55.359
<v Speaker 3>say that, like in real life, in person, with sincerity,

0:40:55.360 --> 0:40:57.799
<v Speaker 3>about the tree of liberty, water with the blood of tyrants, this, that,

0:40:57.840 --> 0:41:02.279
<v Speaker 3>and the other. During the insurrection, there were no porter potties,

0:41:02.480 --> 0:41:05.719
<v Speaker 3>uh January sixth right that there was no opportunity to

0:41:05.800 --> 0:41:08.640
<v Speaker 3>use the restroom in a safe and clean way. But

0:41:08.680 --> 0:41:11.640
<v Speaker 3>there is a large bush on the Capitol lawn that

0:41:11.880 --> 0:41:14.360
<v Speaker 3>the bush, I think, hides like an electrical box, like

0:41:14.400 --> 0:41:16.440
<v Speaker 3>a big box where the electricity lives, you know, And

0:41:16.440 --> 0:41:18.840
<v Speaker 3>so the bush hides that. So that looks very fancy.

0:41:19.200 --> 0:41:23.560
<v Speaker 3>But on January sixth, it was a bathroom, and I

0:41:23.600 --> 0:41:27.239
<v Speaker 3>saw a man pissing in this bush. He was so

0:41:27.239 --> 0:41:28.520
<v Speaker 3>big that you could get inside of it. He's in

0:41:28.520 --> 0:41:31.239
<v Speaker 3>the bush and he's pissing, and he is getting a

0:41:31.239 --> 0:41:33.960
<v Speaker 3>little bit of pea on his shoes as he looks

0:41:33.960 --> 0:41:36.200
<v Speaker 3>around to make sure everyone hears him say this as

0:41:36.200 --> 0:41:38.920
<v Speaker 3>he's pissing, and he's saying, you know, the tree of

0:41:38.920 --> 0:41:41.160
<v Speaker 3>liberty is water with the blood of tyrants, like as

0:41:41.200 --> 0:41:42.920
<v Speaker 3>he's pissing on his own shoes.

0:41:43.520 --> 0:41:46.400
<v Speaker 2>Hell. Yeah, Also it means his urine is the blood

0:41:46.400 --> 0:41:47.680
<v Speaker 2>of tyrants. Yeah.

0:41:47.719 --> 0:41:49.000
<v Speaker 3>I don't think he quite got it.

0:41:49.600 --> 0:41:52.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I loved because as soon as that insurrection happened,

0:41:53.080 --> 0:41:55.080
<v Speaker 2>and you know, right away the right wing was like

0:41:55.160 --> 0:41:58.279
<v Speaker 2>it was Antifa and like immediately or like no, there

0:41:58.280 --> 0:42:01.919
<v Speaker 2>would have been medics, there would have been like press contacts,

0:42:02.000 --> 0:42:04.759
<v Speaker 2>there would have been fucking poor to potties. We know

0:42:04.880 --> 0:42:07.240
<v Speaker 2>how to throw a riot, Like.

0:42:07.320 --> 0:42:09.640
<v Speaker 3>There would not have been middle aged people rubbing raw

0:42:09.680 --> 0:42:10.760
<v Speaker 3>onions on their eyes.

0:42:13.040 --> 0:42:14.600
<v Speaker 2>That's true.

0:42:15.239 --> 0:42:17.320
<v Speaker 3>There's a homeopathic remedy for to your guests.

0:42:17.760 --> 0:42:18.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:42:18.960 --> 0:42:21.920
<v Speaker 3>Anyway, so we're sacking Paris, we're sacking parents.

0:42:22.080 --> 0:42:26.160
<v Speaker 2>So they're sacking Paris and the Burgundians are no better.

0:42:26.440 --> 0:42:28.320
<v Speaker 2>It's out with the old boss, in with the new boss,

0:42:28.800 --> 0:42:31.440
<v Speaker 2>and the defam is whisked away from mob violence in

0:42:31.480 --> 0:42:34.480
<v Speaker 2>the middle of the night, and Paris has fallen. Sixteen

0:42:34.560 --> 0:42:38.200
<v Speaker 2>hundred Armagnacs are killed by the Burgundians in Paris during

0:42:38.239 --> 0:42:41.200
<v Speaker 2>the cleansing of Paris, which is a sketchy word for

0:42:41.239 --> 0:42:45.600
<v Speaker 2>a bad thing. The mad King he's still in Paris

0:42:45.680 --> 0:42:48.680
<v Speaker 2>because none of this affects him. He's like, oh, welcome back,

0:42:48.719 --> 0:42:51.279
<v Speaker 2>honey to his wife. Who comes, you know? Or he's

0:42:51.320 --> 0:42:53.040
<v Speaker 2>maybe like, I don't know. My name is George. Who

0:42:53.080 --> 0:42:54.440
<v Speaker 2>are you? What's going on? Right?

0:42:54.480 --> 0:42:56.720
<v Speaker 3>Like George is not in danger here, He's just George.

0:42:57.000 --> 0:42:59.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, why would anyone mess with George? Old George? What

0:42:59.480 --> 0:43:03.200
<v Speaker 2>a nice guy? What's you're Jewish? Which case he hates you?

0:43:03.200 --> 0:43:06.880
<v Speaker 2>You have to get out of the country. And after

0:43:06.920 --> 0:43:09.320
<v Speaker 2>the cleansing of Paris and Paris has fallen to the

0:43:09.360 --> 0:43:13.560
<v Speaker 2>English and the Burgundians, Yolando of Aragon is functionally in

0:43:13.640 --> 0:43:16.279
<v Speaker 2>charge of the Armagnac side of the war and of

0:43:16.320 --> 0:43:20.640
<v Speaker 2>protecting the Dufont. The Burgundians, including the Dufont's actual mom.

0:43:20.960 --> 0:43:24.759
<v Speaker 2>They're like, hey, give us our kid, the Dufont.

0:43:25.200 --> 0:43:27.279
<v Speaker 3>Oh, now you want your third son back now that

0:43:27.320 --> 0:43:28.440
<v Speaker 3>you realize he's valuable.

0:43:29.320 --> 0:43:32.640
<v Speaker 2>Basically, that's what Yolanda writes back, basically says no, and

0:43:32.680 --> 0:43:34.200
<v Speaker 2>we have the letter right because one of the cool

0:43:34.200 --> 0:43:36.239
<v Speaker 2>things is that, like a lot of times when I

0:43:36.239 --> 0:43:38.120
<v Speaker 2>talk about shit from like even one hundred years ago,

0:43:38.160 --> 0:43:40.160
<v Speaker 2>it's like, I don't know, this is what we think happened.

0:43:40.960 --> 0:43:42.840
<v Speaker 2>There's a lot of records of a lot of this

0:43:43.400 --> 0:43:47.400
<v Speaker 2>because they were writing a lot of this down. Yolanda

0:43:47.480 --> 0:43:49.719
<v Speaker 2>writes back and is like, no, you'll drive him mad

0:43:49.800 --> 0:43:52.319
<v Speaker 2>like his father or turn him English like you. So

0:43:52.520 --> 0:43:56.120
<v Speaker 2>if you want him, come and get him. Sick burn Yolanda,

0:43:56.600 --> 0:43:58.640
<v Speaker 2>I know. And it's funny because she's very like, come

0:43:58.640 --> 0:44:01.399
<v Speaker 2>and get him. But she is overall a peacemaker. She's

0:44:01.440 --> 0:44:03.440
<v Speaker 2>like pretty quickly follows us up with like you want

0:44:03.440 --> 0:44:05.120
<v Speaker 2>to talk terms, like what's going on? You know, like

0:44:05.160 --> 0:44:08.600
<v Speaker 2>how can we end this war? She's like genuinely a

0:44:08.640 --> 0:44:10.719
<v Speaker 2>really good statesman, Like she's good at this.

0:44:11.360 --> 0:44:13.040
<v Speaker 3>But I think, like mom to mom, she was like

0:44:13.120 --> 0:44:14.279
<v Speaker 3>you didn't want this boy?

0:44:15.000 --> 0:44:19.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, totally. The Burgundians cemented their alliance with England by

0:44:19.640 --> 0:44:22.440
<v Speaker 2>marrying someone to Henry the Fifth, declaring Henry the fifth,

0:44:22.480 --> 0:44:24.640
<v Speaker 2>the true heir of the mad king, which actually just

0:44:24.760 --> 0:44:26.520
<v Speaker 2>continues to prove that they don't give a shit about

0:44:26.719 --> 0:44:30.040
<v Speaker 2>young Charles the defont right. They're like, fine, you're out.

0:44:30.280 --> 0:44:32.160
<v Speaker 2>We have a new heir, Henry the Fifth is now

0:44:32.160 --> 0:44:32.520
<v Speaker 2>the heir.

0:44:33.640 --> 0:44:35.600
<v Speaker 3>That's not how that works.

0:44:35.600 --> 0:44:40.320
<v Speaker 2>Not according to the hours I've spent playing Crusader Kings two,

0:44:40.440 --> 0:44:43.480
<v Speaker 2>the most annoying strategy game in the world, because you

0:44:43.520 --> 0:44:46.240
<v Speaker 2>can't send armies unless you marry your daughter off to someone.

0:44:46.280 --> 0:44:49.160
<v Speaker 3>First, wait, whose daughter did they send him?

0:44:50.080 --> 0:44:51.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh god, I had it written in the script and

0:44:51.840 --> 0:44:56.680
<v Speaker 2>them was like, I don't care someone's he marries someone.

0:44:56.880 --> 0:45:01.480
<v Speaker 2>And England and Burgundy now control the northern half of France,

0:45:01.560 --> 0:45:04.160
<v Speaker 2>and the Default controls the southern half, which is the

0:45:04.200 --> 0:45:07.520
<v Speaker 2>poorer half and not the capital I think, aka, not

0:45:07.560 --> 0:45:10.400
<v Speaker 2>the half you want to control of France. So the

0:45:10.440 --> 0:45:12.600
<v Speaker 2>Default he's like young, but he's like an adult now

0:45:12.680 --> 0:45:15.399
<v Speaker 2>and he's mad, so he tricks and kills the Duke

0:45:15.440 --> 0:45:17.680
<v Speaker 2>of Burgundy. He's like, hey, let's meet on a bridge

0:45:17.719 --> 0:45:19.640
<v Speaker 2>where no one can ambush each other and just talk

0:45:19.719 --> 0:45:22.879
<v Speaker 2>it out. Okay, we'll figure it out. Because the Duke

0:45:22.960 --> 0:45:24.600
<v Speaker 2>is like his uncle or some shit or a cousin

0:45:24.719 --> 0:45:25.680
<v Speaker 2>or whatever the fuck you.

0:45:25.600 --> 0:45:27.160
<v Speaker 3>Know, they're all cousins for sure.

0:45:27.560 --> 0:45:30.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and so he's like, ah, don't worry, no one

0:45:30.960 --> 0:45:32.880
<v Speaker 2>can ambu and then ambushes him and then kills the

0:45:32.960 --> 0:45:36.840
<v Speaker 2>Duke of Burgundy. And this does not make anything better.

0:45:36.840 --> 0:45:40.160
<v Speaker 2>So now both dukes of the original leaders of both

0:45:40.160 --> 0:45:41.879
<v Speaker 2>sides of the Civil War are dead, and it does

0:45:41.920 --> 0:45:48.400
<v Speaker 2>not end the war. However, this assassination means that what's

0:45:48.440 --> 0:45:53.440
<v Speaker 2>happening in real life matches the plot of that fairy

0:45:53.480 --> 0:45:56.200
<v Speaker 2>tale about the half snake lady I was telling you

0:45:56.280 --> 0:46:01.160
<v Speaker 2>about forty minutes ago. Okay, the fairy tale that Yolanda

0:46:01.280 --> 0:46:05.400
<v Speaker 2>liked had a displaced air who killed his own cousin

0:46:05.760 --> 0:46:08.520
<v Speaker 2>and then was wandering the forests of southern France.

0:46:09.120 --> 0:46:11.319
<v Speaker 3>So now she thinks a prophecy is coming.

0:46:11.880 --> 0:46:15.600
<v Speaker 2>If only a magical woman with visions from God would

0:46:15.600 --> 0:46:19.000
<v Speaker 2>come and rescue the Deafont, just like in the story.

0:46:19.800 --> 0:46:21.480
<v Speaker 3>Oh so she's primed and ready.

0:46:22.400 --> 0:46:26.279
<v Speaker 2>Yes, Also she believes this as far as I can tell,

0:46:26.320 --> 0:46:28.760
<v Speaker 2>there's no reason to believe she doesn't. But she's also

0:46:29.239 --> 0:46:30.280
<v Speaker 2>making it happen.

0:46:31.400 --> 0:46:34.240
<v Speaker 3>But that's how magic works, right.

0:46:35.040 --> 0:46:38.880
<v Speaker 2>I genuinely believe, So yes, yeah, so if only he

0:46:38.960 --> 0:46:42.840
<v Speaker 2>were to meet Joan of Arc to tie up some

0:46:42.880 --> 0:46:46.040
<v Speaker 2>political loose ends before we introduce our actual hero. Henry

0:46:46.080 --> 0:46:48.520
<v Speaker 2>the Fifth shits himself to death with dysentery in fourteen

0:46:48.560 --> 0:46:52.239
<v Speaker 2>twenty two. Rip Yeah, And a few months later, Mad

0:46:52.360 --> 0:46:54.960
<v Speaker 2>Charles the sixth dies after getting a cold while he's

0:46:54.960 --> 0:46:58.440
<v Speaker 2>out hunting. Or maybe he ate poisonous mushrooms. By mistake,

0:46:58.840 --> 0:47:01.400
<v Speaker 2>if you read like most things, I wasn't gonna go

0:47:01.400 --> 0:47:03.280
<v Speaker 2>read a book about the guy because he's not the

0:47:03.320 --> 0:47:05.719
<v Speaker 2>main character or the secondary character of the story, right,

0:47:05.920 --> 0:47:07.480
<v Speaker 2>But I read a lot about him anyway. I read

0:47:07.520 --> 0:47:09.600
<v Speaker 2>a lot of articles and shit, and most of the

0:47:09.680 --> 0:47:11.719
<v Speaker 2>articles are like and then he died, And I'm like,

0:47:11.760 --> 0:47:15.320
<v Speaker 2>when a king dies, you fucking say how. It's because

0:47:15.360 --> 0:47:16.200
<v Speaker 2>we don't know.

0:47:17.000 --> 0:47:19.120
<v Speaker 3>I was like, even if they said how, it's like

0:47:19.360 --> 0:47:21.920
<v Speaker 3>they were just guessing, Like was it like Zachary Tyler.

0:47:21.960 --> 0:47:24.080
<v Speaker 3>They're like, oh, he died from eating a bowlful of cherries,

0:47:24.120 --> 0:47:25.719
<v Speaker 3>and it's like, no, he probably for sure did not.

0:47:26.200 --> 0:47:29.719
<v Speaker 3>That's probably not what happened. Wait, who's that one of

0:47:29.760 --> 0:47:30.560
<v Speaker 3>the presidents?

0:47:30.840 --> 0:47:31.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

0:47:31.080 --> 0:47:34.040
<v Speaker 3>Okay, Like he was having too many cherries and cold

0:47:34.080 --> 0:47:37.040
<v Speaker 3>milk and it gave him a bad tumming and he died,

0:47:37.239 --> 0:47:40.160
<v Speaker 3>was it? Tyler? But it's like that's probably not why.

0:47:40.200 --> 0:47:43.200
<v Speaker 3>I don't think that's a way that people died. Yeah,

0:47:43.719 --> 0:47:45.760
<v Speaker 3>so yeah, I mean they can say he died from whatever,

0:47:45.800 --> 0:47:47.080
<v Speaker 3>but they don't know. They're making that up.

0:47:47.200 --> 0:47:49.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, maybe he was made out of glass and someone

0:47:49.719 --> 0:47:50.120
<v Speaker 2>touched him.

0:47:50.160 --> 0:47:51.400
<v Speaker 3>I don't know, he shattered.

0:47:51.719 --> 0:47:54.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, one chat and one shattered.

0:47:54.480 --> 0:48:00.520
<v Speaker 4>Zachary Taylor. Zachary Taylor, the twelfth president. Yeah, okay, cherries

0:48:00.600 --> 0:48:02.280
<v Speaker 4>himself through cherries.

0:48:02.480 --> 0:48:04.240
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. I mean if I thought I was made of glass,

0:48:04.239 --> 0:48:06.439
<v Speaker 3>I would not get on a horse. No, you're kidding.

0:48:06.440 --> 0:48:08.879
<v Speaker 2>Meat. Well, maybe he turned to glass. Maybe he wasn't

0:48:08.880 --> 0:48:11.200
<v Speaker 2>in glass mode and then he like turned into glass mode.

0:48:11.520 --> 0:48:11.880
<v Speaker 3>Okay.

0:48:12.160 --> 0:48:15.560
<v Speaker 4>It says he died five days after eating cherries and

0:48:15.680 --> 0:48:20.160
<v Speaker 4>milk of like cholera and gi issues. I'm gonna say

0:48:20.160 --> 0:48:21.680
<v Speaker 4>it wasn't the cherries.

0:48:21.719 --> 0:48:23.040
<v Speaker 2>Just super lactose intolerant.

0:48:23.400 --> 0:48:25.600
<v Speaker 3>It was probably the fact that he just lived on

0:48:25.640 --> 0:48:28.359
<v Speaker 3>a swamp and they didn't have like sewage.

0:48:28.880 --> 0:48:31.480
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I'm gonna say because he was the twelfth president

0:48:31.520 --> 0:48:34.200
<v Speaker 4>of the United States and men just used to die.

0:48:34.840 --> 0:48:36.919
<v Speaker 2>I mean, there's this whole thing that's fatal called being

0:48:37.000 --> 0:48:38.400
<v Speaker 2>born before antibiotics.

0:48:38.480 --> 0:48:43.320
<v Speaker 3>You know, that's what I'm saying. People just used to die. Yeah,

0:48:43.640 --> 0:48:45.560
<v Speaker 3>people used to just have a lot of diarrhea.

0:48:46.200 --> 0:48:48.759
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I can't wait. I mean, I'll be dead, but

0:48:48.800 --> 0:48:50.440
<v Speaker 2>I can't wait till a couple hundred years from now.

0:48:50.440 --> 0:48:52.719
<v Speaker 2>People say the same thing about like, oh man, the

0:48:52.719 --> 0:48:55.000
<v Speaker 2>twenty first century, I remember when people just die of cancer,

0:48:55.440 --> 0:48:57.680
<v Speaker 2>just like, yeah, some of their cells would do something

0:48:57.760 --> 0:49:00.440
<v Speaker 2>weird and then they'd all die. Like Jesus Christ, how

0:49:00.440 --> 0:49:03.760
<v Speaker 2>did anything get done? Well, that's one of my only

0:49:03.880 --> 0:49:08.360
<v Speaker 2>like hope for the future things, because I because whatever. Anyway,

0:49:09.719 --> 0:49:13.960
<v Speaker 2>So the throne of France goes to the infant Henry

0:49:14.000 --> 0:49:17.200
<v Speaker 2>the sixth, at least the like Paris side of it, right,

0:49:17.920 --> 0:49:22.360
<v Speaker 2>and the Daupont is now ostensibly the king of France,

0:49:22.680 --> 0:49:25.120
<v Speaker 2>but he has no power, he has no crown, and

0:49:25.160 --> 0:49:27.680
<v Speaker 2>he becomes Charles the seventh. And I'm gonna keep calling

0:49:27.680 --> 0:49:30.160
<v Speaker 2>them deaufall mostly in the script, I think, because this fun,

0:49:30.600 --> 0:49:33.399
<v Speaker 2>I know. And besides, like numbers are all the same

0:49:33.440 --> 0:49:36.240
<v Speaker 2>thing to me, Like six and seven are the same number.

0:49:36.440 --> 0:49:38.759
<v Speaker 2>So Charles the sixth and Charles the seventh are the

0:49:38.760 --> 0:49:42.239
<v Speaker 2>same person until you name them like the Glass King

0:49:42.320 --> 0:49:44.400
<v Speaker 2>and the child Dolphin. Now I'm like, oh, I know

0:49:44.400 --> 0:49:45.160
<v Speaker 2>who I'm talking about.

0:49:45.280 --> 0:49:46.600
<v Speaker 3>Now I get it. Now I'm with you.

0:49:47.120 --> 0:49:50.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this is part why I sucked at history in

0:49:50.080 --> 0:49:50.600
<v Speaker 2>high school.

0:49:51.320 --> 0:49:53.440
<v Speaker 3>I mean, it's not our fault. They kept naming the

0:49:53.440 --> 0:49:54.600
<v Speaker 3>guys the same stuff.

0:49:55.000 --> 0:49:57.680
<v Speaker 2>I know. I know, at least this time they actually

0:49:57.719 --> 0:50:01.000
<v Speaker 2>were like, he was born Charles, Charles the seventh was

0:50:01.040 --> 0:50:03.120
<v Speaker 2>born Charles, you know right.

0:50:03.160 --> 0:50:05.799
<v Speaker 3>It wasn't like a regnal name, because like, it's hard

0:50:05.880 --> 0:50:07.520
<v Speaker 3>enough that I got to learn one name for a guy.

0:50:07.560 --> 0:50:09.400
<v Speaker 3>Now he's got three. I don't think so.

0:50:09.960 --> 0:50:10.160
<v Speaker 1>I know.

0:50:10.280 --> 0:50:12.719
<v Speaker 2>It's like when your friends are like, hey, message me

0:50:12.760 --> 0:50:14.839
<v Speaker 2>on Instagram and I'm like, I can't remember you change

0:50:14.840 --> 0:50:18.040
<v Speaker 2>your Instagram handle once a week or your signal handle,

0:50:18.160 --> 0:50:21.600
<v Speaker 2>like it's an emoji. I'm not remembering emoji instead of

0:50:21.680 --> 0:50:22.960
<v Speaker 2>your name. That's not happening.

0:50:23.200 --> 0:50:25.879
<v Speaker 3>No, I'm having whole conversations with people that I'm too

0:50:25.920 --> 0:50:28.399
<v Speaker 3>afraid to admit I don't know who you are.

0:50:28.960 --> 0:50:31.640
<v Speaker 2>I know, or like you see your old friends and

0:50:31.640 --> 0:50:35.520
<v Speaker 2>then you're like hello their Instagram handle and they're like,

0:50:35.560 --> 0:50:37.120
<v Speaker 2>do you know my actual name? And I'm like I

0:50:37.200 --> 0:50:39.000
<v Speaker 2>used to, but there's only a room in my head

0:50:39.040 --> 0:50:40.000
<v Speaker 2>for one name for you.

0:50:40.440 --> 0:50:44.000
<v Speaker 3>That's oupsec Margaret. If the police ask you, you can't

0:50:44.000 --> 0:50:46.040
<v Speaker 3>even tell them. I know, I know.

0:50:46.320 --> 0:50:48.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm just laying the groundwork now for the fact that

0:50:48.440 --> 0:50:51.240
<v Speaker 2>I have a terrible memory. I'm gonna be like interviewed

0:50:51.239 --> 0:50:53.120
<v Speaker 2>by that and I'll be like, you want to hear

0:50:53.160 --> 0:50:55.319
<v Speaker 2>about something from the fourteenth century, And they'll be like, no,

0:50:55.520 --> 0:50:57.960
<v Speaker 2>where were you three weeks ago? And I'm like, I

0:50:58.040 --> 0:50:59.880
<v Speaker 2>want to hear about something from the nineteenth century.

0:51:00.040 --> 0:51:03.320
<v Speaker 3>I got a story for you about a dolphin king anyway,

0:51:04.040 --> 0:51:07.920
<v Speaker 3>Joan of Arc. Yeah, so we've got our baby dolphin king. Yeah,

0:51:07.960 --> 0:51:10.120
<v Speaker 3>and we're waiting for the prophecy to come to pass.

0:51:10.360 --> 0:51:13.279
<v Speaker 2>Yep, We're waiting for the maid. Joan of Arc was

0:51:13.320 --> 0:51:15.839
<v Speaker 2>born in fourteen twelve, which means that she was three

0:51:15.920 --> 0:51:18.319
<v Speaker 2>years old when half of France's nobilities got stuck full

0:51:18.360 --> 0:51:21.600
<v Speaker 2>of arrows in the mud. She was a commoner. There's

0:51:21.600 --> 0:51:24.480
<v Speaker 2>no record of her birth. She was called Jeannette, she

0:51:24.600 --> 0:51:27.920
<v Speaker 2>told inquisitors later about her name. In my town they

0:51:27.920 --> 0:51:29.880
<v Speaker 2>called me Jeanette, and since I came to France, I

0:51:29.880 --> 0:51:33.040
<v Speaker 2>have been called Joan. As for my surname I know

0:51:33.160 --> 0:51:33.600
<v Speaker 2>of none.

0:51:34.560 --> 0:51:35.520
<v Speaker 3>She's not from France.

0:51:36.760 --> 0:51:39.560
<v Speaker 2>So this is the interesting thing, Right, I got really

0:51:39.560 --> 0:51:42.360
<v Speaker 2>annoyed because all of her quotes are constantly like and

0:51:42.360 --> 0:51:45.920
<v Speaker 2>then I went to France from where So she was

0:51:45.960 --> 0:51:49.200
<v Speaker 2>born in this town called dom Remi, which is on

0:51:49.239 --> 0:51:52.520
<v Speaker 2>the border between France, or rather English controlled France, like

0:51:52.600 --> 0:51:55.680
<v Speaker 2>Burgundy kind of, and then the Holy Roman Empire, which

0:51:55.680 --> 0:51:57.640
<v Speaker 2>is like also kind of doing a Burgundy thing. Right,

0:51:57.680 --> 0:52:00.000
<v Speaker 2>all of the control is really up in the air.

0:52:00.239 --> 0:52:01.759
<v Speaker 3>So is this just more indicative of the fact that

0:52:01.800 --> 0:52:04.680
<v Speaker 3>like people didn't have that sort of national identity, like

0:52:04.719 --> 0:52:07.719
<v Speaker 3>they didn't really think of themselves as the people of France.

0:52:08.719 --> 0:52:13.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, even though her town kind of did. But I

0:52:13.120 --> 0:52:15.920
<v Speaker 2>get the impression they saw themselves as like outliers. Like

0:52:15.960 --> 0:52:18.840
<v Speaker 2>it's like, I don't know, being on an island and

0:52:18.840 --> 0:52:22.799
<v Speaker 2>then going to the mainland kind of thing. Like dom

0:52:22.840 --> 0:52:26.440
<v Speaker 2>Remi was French but across the river sometimes considered it

0:52:26.480 --> 0:52:29.880
<v Speaker 2>the same town, but not is Burgundian. And at this

0:52:29.960 --> 0:52:32.279
<v Speaker 2>point in the Civil War, one half of the town

0:52:32.320 --> 0:52:34.759
<v Speaker 2>that she's from fucking hates the other half, or the

0:52:34.800 --> 0:52:37.600
<v Speaker 2>town across the river or whatever, and they're like they're

0:52:37.600 --> 0:52:40.160
<v Speaker 2>not armies but they're like leading raids back and forth

0:52:40.200 --> 0:52:41.080
<v Speaker 2>across the.

0:52:41.239 --> 0:52:42.960
<v Speaker 3>It's a Springfield Shelbyville situation.

0:52:43.680 --> 0:52:47.480
<v Speaker 2>Yes, exactly. I do get that reference because I was

0:52:47.520 --> 0:52:49.520
<v Speaker 2>born and I was gonna say born in the nineties,

0:52:49.560 --> 0:52:51.520
<v Speaker 2>but that's not true at all. But I grew up

0:52:51.560 --> 0:52:57.360
<v Speaker 2>in the nineties and her region, I believe, was entirely

0:52:57.480 --> 0:53:00.680
<v Speaker 2>encircled by Burgundians. And so this is why I think

0:53:00.719 --> 0:53:02.640
<v Speaker 2>Joan referred to its going to France, is that they're

0:53:02.640 --> 0:53:06.080
<v Speaker 2>an island of France away from France kind of, but

0:53:06.160 --> 0:53:07.200
<v Speaker 2>it's definitely in France.

0:53:07.560 --> 0:53:09.120
<v Speaker 3>Now.

0:53:09.520 --> 0:53:12.520
<v Speaker 2>Jeannette was one of five kids. She had no formal education.

0:53:12.719 --> 0:53:14.960
<v Speaker 2>She never learned to read or write. She was smart

0:53:14.960 --> 0:53:17.480
<v Speaker 2>as fuck, she was charismatic as fuck, and she had

0:53:17.520 --> 0:53:19.520
<v Speaker 2>away with words, and she would not like me cussing

0:53:19.560 --> 0:53:25.400
<v Speaker 2>about her. And she was obnoxiously pious. Instead of plowing

0:53:25.440 --> 0:53:27.439
<v Speaker 2>the fields, she would head over the next town over

0:53:27.520 --> 0:53:29.040
<v Speaker 2>to go to the bigger church because they had a

0:53:29.120 --> 0:53:32.680
<v Speaker 2>nicer cathedral. Boys in the village regularly made fun of

0:53:32.719 --> 0:53:39.040
<v Speaker 2>her for her piety. Rude. I know. Meanwhile, the war

0:53:39.160 --> 0:53:41.800
<v Speaker 2>is going really really badly for the Daufall.

0:53:42.360 --> 0:53:43.759
<v Speaker 3>Oh right, they're still doing the war.

0:53:44.520 --> 0:53:47.759
<v Speaker 2>They are still doing the war. That's like, yeah, one

0:53:47.760 --> 0:53:50.799
<v Speaker 2>of his major allies has now swapped sides and he

0:53:50.880 --> 0:53:53.520
<v Speaker 2>lost fifteen thousand soldiers in one battle.

0:53:54.200 --> 0:53:56.719
<v Speaker 3>You can't really do that very many times.

0:53:57.080 --> 0:54:00.399
<v Speaker 2>No, he thinks he's done at that point. A run

0:54:00.400 --> 0:54:03.640
<v Speaker 2>out of guys, Yeah, he kind of does run out

0:54:03.640 --> 0:54:06.880
<v Speaker 2>of guys at that point. He's like a shell of

0:54:06.920 --> 0:54:08.880
<v Speaker 2>a you know, he's a young king, right, and the

0:54:08.920 --> 0:54:11.520
<v Speaker 2>first thing he does is get his entire army wiped

0:54:11.560 --> 0:54:13.120
<v Speaker 2>the fuck out in one go.

0:54:13.440 --> 0:54:15.160
<v Speaker 3>That's so hard to replace. That's like a lot of

0:54:15.200 --> 0:54:17.320
<v Speaker 3>horses and nice outfits and stuff.

0:54:17.680 --> 0:54:21.640
<v Speaker 2>I know, I know, right, And actually when basically most

0:54:21.680 --> 0:54:23.720
<v Speaker 2>of the replenishing of the armies that's going to happen

0:54:23.760 --> 0:54:25.960
<v Speaker 2>mostly has to do with people. Then, like swapping sides

0:54:25.960 --> 0:54:27.680
<v Speaker 2>back to his side. That's going to happen every now

0:54:27.719 --> 0:54:31.200
<v Speaker 2>and then, mostly because of Yolanda. So, Yolanda had been

0:54:31.239 --> 0:54:34.680
<v Speaker 2>away doing political shit that I whatever, and then she

0:54:34.760 --> 0:54:37.279
<v Speaker 2>came back and she started turning things not around, but

0:54:37.360 --> 0:54:41.400
<v Speaker 2>like stemming the tide, ending the string of failures. She

0:54:41.600 --> 0:54:44.839
<v Speaker 2>raised an army to defend her own castle and did

0:54:44.880 --> 0:54:47.440
<v Speaker 2>so defended her castle that they were trying to claim.

0:54:47.800 --> 0:54:50.440
<v Speaker 2>And then she did diplomacy to bring important people back

0:54:50.480 --> 0:54:53.680
<v Speaker 2>to the side of France, but still not looking good.

0:54:54.480 --> 0:54:58.359
<v Speaker 2>The Deaufant is doubting his own cause maybe God isn't

0:54:58.400 --> 0:55:02.920
<v Speaker 2>on his side after all. He's losing badly and quickly.

0:55:03.960 --> 0:55:06.400
<v Speaker 2>Even when he gather up a bunch of troops, he

0:55:06.440 --> 0:55:08.920
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't go on the offensive with them because he's like,

0:55:09.000 --> 0:55:11.239
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I should stay where it's safe. I

0:55:11.280 --> 0:55:12.080
<v Speaker 2>give up kind of.

0:55:12.200 --> 0:55:15.120
<v Speaker 3>He's got the yips, the what the yips?

0:55:15.760 --> 0:55:16.440
<v Speaker 2>What's the yips?

0:55:16.800 --> 0:55:18.880
<v Speaker 3>It's like a sports psychology term, right where you get

0:55:18.880 --> 0:55:20.799
<v Speaker 3>so in your own head that you can't do the

0:55:20.800 --> 0:55:23.239
<v Speaker 3>thing that you're good at. Yes, he doesn't want to

0:55:23.280 --> 0:55:26.319
<v Speaker 3>take a risk. He's good at nothing, but yes, well yeah,

0:55:26.719 --> 0:55:30.399
<v Speaker 3>you know, yeah, he's going to be named Dolphin, which

0:55:30.400 --> 0:55:34.400
<v Speaker 3>is also a very sports kind of thing to be. So,

0:55:34.480 --> 0:55:38.840
<v Speaker 3>Yolanda of Aragorn, of Aragon, that's the second time.

0:55:39.800 --> 0:55:44.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh there's gonna be more, I'm sure, Yolanda of Gondor, Yeah, totally.

0:55:45.520 --> 0:55:47.160
<v Speaker 2>She's like, how the fuck am I going to save

0:55:47.160 --> 0:55:49.480
<v Speaker 2>the free people of Middle Earth from the forces of Mortar. No,

0:55:49.560 --> 0:55:52.760
<v Speaker 2>they're all it's it's a horizontal battle that's entirely lateral.

0:55:52.800 --> 0:55:55.239
<v Speaker 2>Both sides are shitty or whatever, but we're you know,

0:55:55.400 --> 0:55:57.680
<v Speaker 2>you pick a side and then this story is shown whatever.

0:55:57.960 --> 0:55:59.839
<v Speaker 3>Well, only one side is ordained by God.

0:56:00.080 --> 0:56:03.840
<v Speaker 2>I heard, Oh that's true. Yeah, whichever side kills the

0:56:03.840 --> 0:56:07.120
<v Speaker 2>other one the most effectively. That's what Jesus always talked about,

0:56:07.400 --> 0:56:10.480
<v Speaker 2>Kill thy enemy. So Yolanda Aragorn is like, how the

0:56:10.480 --> 0:56:13.200
<v Speaker 2>fuck do I say, France? I want to turn shit around.

0:56:13.719 --> 0:56:18.480
<v Speaker 2>I need to give people, especially the Daufont hope. And

0:56:18.520 --> 0:56:23.759
<v Speaker 2>there was this famous woman seer, Marie of Avignon, who

0:56:23.840 --> 0:56:25.960
<v Speaker 2>was said to be able to predict the future. She

0:56:26.000 --> 0:56:28.560
<v Speaker 2>had written this book of predictions and people trusted her.

0:56:29.760 --> 0:56:32.120
<v Speaker 2>So a rumor started up that there was a new

0:56:32.200 --> 0:56:36.600
<v Speaker 2>prophecy from Marie, and this started spreading. This rumor coincidentally

0:56:36.880 --> 0:56:40.520
<v Speaker 2>started spreading from the areas where Yolanda was countess.

0:56:41.640 --> 0:56:42.640
<v Speaker 3>Is it a coincidence?

0:56:43.800 --> 0:56:46.880
<v Speaker 2>Like, we genuinely don't know if Yolanda spread this prophecy.

0:56:46.960 --> 0:56:49.319
<v Speaker 2>But I read this really amazing book called The Maid

0:56:49.400 --> 0:56:53.600
<v Speaker 2>and the Queen by Nancy Gladstone. It presents this kind

0:56:53.600 --> 0:56:56.279
<v Speaker 2>of hypothesis that I find very convincing that sort of

0:56:56.280 --> 0:56:58.400
<v Speaker 2>fits a lot of the holes in the Joan of

0:56:58.520 --> 0:57:02.799
<v Speaker 2>Arc story by Yolanda in it. You know, Nancy has

0:57:02.840 --> 0:57:04.839
<v Speaker 2>this great quote historians, this great quote, but like, why

0:57:04.840 --> 0:57:07.279
<v Speaker 2>didn't anyone notice that Yolanda was doing it? Because she

0:57:07.360 --> 0:57:10.600
<v Speaker 2>is a woman. The best camouflage in history is to

0:57:10.680 --> 0:57:12.399
<v Speaker 2>not have a dick, like, you.

0:57:12.280 --> 0:57:14.920
<v Speaker 3>Know, nobody's looking for you, to be crafty.

0:57:15.320 --> 0:57:18.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, or like even connecting the dots, you know, you're

0:57:18.480 --> 0:57:20.560
<v Speaker 2>like even because people know that Yolanda was like a

0:57:20.560 --> 0:57:24.040
<v Speaker 2>powerful woman and stuff, right, but she was kind of

0:57:24.040 --> 0:57:26.600
<v Speaker 2>lost to history because she wasn't you have to be

0:57:26.640 --> 0:57:28.360
<v Speaker 2>like Joan of Arc level to be remembered as a

0:57:28.360 --> 0:57:29.720
<v Speaker 2>woman at this time, you know.

0:57:30.400 --> 0:57:32.160
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I guess she's the only one we remember.

0:57:32.760 --> 0:57:39.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And so this prophecy spreads, and probably Yolanda started

0:57:39.640 --> 0:57:42.960
<v Speaker 2>this prophecy, but we don't know about a virgin woman

0:57:43.000 --> 0:57:45.680
<v Speaker 2>who would come from the borderlands to pick up arms

0:57:45.720 --> 0:57:49.360
<v Speaker 2>and free France from its enemies. And to quote this

0:57:49.520 --> 0:57:54.480
<v Speaker 2>historian Nancy Goldstone, in nearly every hamlet, town or village

0:57:54.480 --> 0:57:57.680
<v Speaker 2>in fifteenth century France there lived someone who claimed to

0:57:57.720 --> 0:58:00.920
<v Speaker 2>have visions, or who could interpret dream or who was

0:58:00.960 --> 0:58:04.680
<v Speaker 2>otherwise believed to have been somehow touched by God. These

0:58:04.680 --> 0:58:07.520
<v Speaker 2>were the likely targets of the prophecy, and it acted

0:58:07.600 --> 0:58:11.400
<v Speaker 2>upon them like a recruitment slogan, so that.

0:58:11.520 --> 0:58:13.840
<v Speaker 3>They've just got like seers showing up being like, oh,

0:58:14.080 --> 0:58:16.080
<v Speaker 3>I heard about your I heard about your prophecy. I'm

0:58:16.120 --> 0:58:17.600
<v Speaker 3>here because it's it's me.

0:58:18.880 --> 0:58:20.760
<v Speaker 2>And one of the things that's never in any of

0:58:20.760 --> 0:58:23.120
<v Speaker 2>the stories I've read about Joan of Arc except that

0:58:23.160 --> 0:58:25.120
<v Speaker 2>one book, and even then it was like only a sentence.

0:58:26.320 --> 0:58:27.919
<v Speaker 2>Twenty people showed up.

0:58:29.080 --> 0:58:31.600
<v Speaker 3>I would like to know their stories, I know.

0:58:33.320 --> 0:58:36.959
<v Speaker 2>And Jeannette without surname known to us now as Joan

0:58:37.000 --> 0:58:41.080
<v Speaker 2>of Arc, she had been having visions and we'll talk

0:58:41.080 --> 0:58:43.280
<v Speaker 2>about those visions and how she became a badass night

0:58:43.320 --> 0:58:46.160
<v Speaker 2>and killed a whole bunch of motherfuckers on Wednesday.

0:58:46.960 --> 0:58:48.760
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, you're gonna make people wait two days

0:58:48.760 --> 0:58:49.360
<v Speaker 3>to find out.

0:58:49.840 --> 0:58:51.720
<v Speaker 2>I know, even you, well now you have to wait

0:58:51.720 --> 0:58:54.920
<v Speaker 2>about five minutes. But yep, everyone's got to wait.

0:58:55.400 --> 0:58:56.600
<v Speaker 4>God, ask for a spoiler.

0:58:57.440 --> 0:59:00.960
<v Speaker 2>Okay, what spoiler you want? Was she like I am

0:59:01.200 --> 0:59:08.240
<v Speaker 2>no man, no, no, but like she has more of

0:59:08.280 --> 0:59:13.560
<v Speaker 2>that energy than yeah, like I really people would really

0:59:13.640 --> 0:59:15.160
<v Speaker 2>kind of sold me on the like she was a

0:59:15.200 --> 0:59:20.840
<v Speaker 2>mascot thing, yeah, you know, or like sort of inconsequential

0:59:21.400 --> 0:59:27.800
<v Speaker 2>or got lucky once. She's fucking badass, and like France

0:59:27.840 --> 0:59:30.600
<v Speaker 2>exists because of this lady. I mean, you know, maybe

0:59:30.600 --> 0:59:34.480
<v Speaker 2>there'd be the world map would look different, not necessarily better,

0:59:34.600 --> 0:59:37.600
<v Speaker 2>not necessarily worse. Whatever. France is another fucking colonial power.

0:59:37.640 --> 0:59:42.640
<v Speaker 2>But who fucking knows the visions themselves? You can know

0:59:43.400 --> 0:59:47.000
<v Speaker 2>by waiting till Wednesday. But first people can hear about

0:59:47.560 --> 0:59:48.840
<v Speaker 2>Weird Little Guys.

0:59:49.160 --> 0:59:52.520
<v Speaker 3>Yes, I am a podcaster now, much like Joan of

0:59:52.640 --> 0:59:55.960
<v Speaker 3>arc I have fulfilled the prophecy so true, so true.

0:59:56.600 --> 0:59:57.000
<v Speaker 2>Gross.

0:59:57.000 --> 1:00:00.760
<v Speaker 3>Sorry, God, God's gonna smite me. He's gonna get me. No,

1:00:00.880 --> 1:00:02.800
<v Speaker 3>I have a new show on Cool Zoe Media. It's

1:00:02.800 --> 1:00:06.439
<v Speaker 3>called Weird Little Guys, and it's it's about guys who

1:00:06.480 --> 1:00:08.720
<v Speaker 3>did not do cool stuff at all, guys who did

1:00:08.760 --> 1:00:11.120
<v Speaker 3>stuff that sucked. It's a show about.

1:00:10.840 --> 1:00:13.040
<v Speaker 2>Monsters, fucking Burgundians.

1:00:14.360 --> 1:00:15.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I'm not going that far in the past.

1:00:16.480 --> 1:00:19.080
<v Speaker 2>It's okay because although.

1:00:18.840 --> 1:00:20.880
<v Speaker 3>I don't know, maybe by the thirty orth or fortieth episode,

1:00:20.880 --> 1:00:24.320
<v Speaker 3>we'll be talking about fourteenth century fascists. Hell yeah, they

1:00:24.320 --> 1:00:26.360
<v Speaker 3>hadn't invented it yet, but we'll find one.

1:00:26.920 --> 1:00:29.160
<v Speaker 2>I mean, that's how I like half my show is like,

1:00:29.520 --> 1:00:31.520
<v Speaker 2>especially in the near future, will be like, look, anarchism

1:00:31.560 --> 1:00:33.240
<v Speaker 2>didn't exist yet, but let me tell you about some

1:00:33.320 --> 1:00:35.919
<v Speaker 2>fourteenth century heretics were based Joan of arc.

1:00:35.880 --> 1:00:38.680
<v Speaker 3>Isn't but like, but they have the vibe. They had

1:00:38.760 --> 1:00:39.360
<v Speaker 3>the vibe.

1:00:39.880 --> 1:00:42.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, we'll be talking about some people with some

1:00:42.120 --> 1:00:44.800
<v Speaker 2>good vibes. Yeah. I suspect that you will reach the

1:00:44.840 --> 1:00:49.680
<v Speaker 2>point where you go past your original expectations of scope.

1:00:50.080 --> 1:00:53.840
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, the scope creeps, I suppose, right, But for now, Yes,

1:00:53.840 --> 1:00:55.920
<v Speaker 3>you should go and subscribe to Weird Little Guys on

1:00:55.960 --> 1:00:58.240
<v Speaker 3>whatever podcast app makes you feel good.

1:00:59.320 --> 1:01:03.240
<v Speaker 2>Hell yeah, I'm really excited about it, like genuinely. Also,

1:01:03.280 --> 1:01:04.960
<v Speaker 2>if people want to hear they're like, I don't know,

1:01:05.400 --> 1:01:07.280
<v Speaker 2>I have to make sure to hear Molly on other

1:01:07.600 --> 1:01:11.200
<v Speaker 2>shows first. Then there's an awful lot of it could

1:01:11.200 --> 1:01:13.480
<v Speaker 2>happen here that you can listen to with Molly on it.

1:01:13.640 --> 1:01:16.280
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I still host on it can happen here occasionally,

1:01:17.040 --> 1:01:20.960
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, you can acclimate yourself to my mallifluous voice.

1:01:21.440 --> 1:01:24.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, just a word, I totally know. Why do I

1:01:24.400 --> 1:01:26.040
<v Speaker 2>not know that word? You think that this is the

1:01:26.080 --> 1:01:27.760
<v Speaker 2>kind of thing I would know I know about? Like

1:01:27.800 --> 1:01:28.760
<v Speaker 2>these and thousand. Shit.

1:01:29.360 --> 1:01:31.280
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's like, oh, I don't know, I could. I

1:01:31.280 --> 1:01:34.480
<v Speaker 3>couldn't actually give you the actual word. Yeah no, but

1:01:34.480 --> 1:01:37.040
<v Speaker 3>it's like, you know, it's just sort of melodic and soothing.

1:01:37.520 --> 1:01:41.000
<v Speaker 2>Okay, okay, yeah, So if you got anything you want

1:01:41.040 --> 1:01:45.520
<v Speaker 2>to plug, no, we did it that well. I want

1:01:45.560 --> 1:01:49.080
<v Speaker 2>to say, if you like women with swords and spears,

1:01:49.720 --> 1:01:52.400
<v Speaker 2>I have a book coming out hell yeah, by a

1:01:52.400 --> 1:01:55.520
<v Speaker 2>woman with more axes and spears. She's kind of into

1:01:55.560 --> 1:01:58.920
<v Speaker 2>spears specifically, and it's called The Sapling Cage and it

1:01:59.040 --> 1:02:02.320
<v Speaker 2>is a fantasy book about a transwitch who fights with

1:02:02.360 --> 1:02:05.480
<v Speaker 2>a spear sometimes. And you can pre order it now

1:02:05.800 --> 1:02:08.360
<v Speaker 2>and get it in September. And if you preorder it

1:02:08.360 --> 1:02:11.240
<v Speaker 2>now from Firestorm co Op, which is a queer owned

1:02:11.240 --> 1:02:13.920
<v Speaker 2>bookstore in Nashville, North Carolina, but they sell it online,

1:02:14.320 --> 1:02:16.600
<v Speaker 2>you will get a signed copy because last week I

1:02:16.720 --> 1:02:21.800
<v Speaker 2>signed thousands of stickers book plates. Fancy order for stickers,

1:02:22.000 --> 1:02:24.920
<v Speaker 2>and you could have one of them yourself, and we'll

1:02:24.920 --> 1:02:28.760
<v Speaker 2>see you on Wednesday.

1:02:31.200 --> 1:02:33.720
<v Speaker 1>Cool People Who Did Cool Stuff is a production of

1:02:33.760 --> 1:02:36.880
<v Speaker 1>cool Zone Media. For more podcasts on cool Zone Media,

1:02:37.000 --> 1:02:40.280
<v Speaker 1>visit our website Foolzonemedia dot com, or check us out

1:02:40.360 --> 1:02:43.280
<v Speaker 1>on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

1:02:43.400 --> 1:02:44.880
<v Speaker 3>You get your podcasts.