WEBVTT - Vanessa and Miles Adcox 0:00:09.320 --> 0:00:16.360 Caroline. She's a queen of talking. He was. She's on 0:00:16.480 --> 0:00:21.160 the actually got the scoop on side. No one can 0:00:21.200 --> 0:00:33.040 do with Caral, Caroline. No one can do with Caroline 0:00:34.479 --> 0:00:39.000 this time, Caroline. This interview is super exciting because I 0:00:39.080 --> 0:00:42.120 have one of the most inspired couples joining me today. 0:00:42.560 --> 0:00:45.400 This is Vanessa and Miles ad Cox. Both of them 0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:47.640 are incredible people in their own right, but together they 0:00:47.680 --> 0:00:51.680 make this insane power couple. They are so tuned into 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:55.560 themselves and they've done so much work on themselves personally 0:00:56.040 --> 0:01:00.560 that they now together are so strong and it's so 0:01:00.600 --> 0:01:04.360 inspiring to hear their stories individually. Vanessa is an actress. 0:01:04.400 --> 0:01:06.320 She lived in l A. She comes from a big 0:01:06.440 --> 0:01:09.440 entertainment family. Miles grew I'm a pretty sure you grew 0:01:09.480 --> 0:01:11.240 up in National. I think he's a National native. But 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:15.039 he threw a series of careers, found himself wanting so 0:01:15.120 --> 0:01:18.080 much more, and so he started this this on site clinic, 0:01:18.360 --> 0:01:21.920 and it's amazing. So many people have gone there just 0:01:21.959 --> 0:01:23.640 to work on themselves, get to the root of their 0:01:23.680 --> 0:01:27.160 real problems. That is what Vanessa and Miles are all about. 0:01:27.319 --> 0:01:29.200 They're about getting to the root of who they are. 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:31.560 They're real problems, so then they can fix that and 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:34.800 then go on to change the world with their beautiful 0:01:34.840 --> 0:01:39.160 whole self. Be prepared to be inspired. This is such 0:01:39.200 --> 0:01:41.480 a great interview. I cannot stress it enough. It is 0:01:41.480 --> 0:01:44.240 such a great interview, especially for couples. You need to 0:01:44.280 --> 0:01:46.720 hear what they have to say because they do not 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:48.800 claim to be perfect. They just claimed to be getting 0:01:48.800 --> 0:01:50.520 in there and getting real and dealing with it in 0:01:50.600 --> 0:01:59.120 healthy ways. So get excited. Here's en S and Miles. Okay, hey, hey, hey, 0:01:59.200 --> 0:02:04.960 I'm here with the ad Coxes. Ad Coxes, you guys 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:10.400 are probably one of the most um inspiring couples. I 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:13.280 would have to say. You guys are both so incredible 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:16.840 on your own right, but together you are this force, 0:02:17.040 --> 0:02:20.840 like this power for this force of nature. So I 0:02:20.880 --> 0:02:22.800 need to break down first off, who you guys are. 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:25.520 This is Vanessa and this is Miles, and you guys 0:02:25.520 --> 0:02:28.000 are both influencers in your own right, but together y'all, 0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:29.959 like I said, our power couple. Miles, tell me a 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:31.480 little bit about what you do, because you have an 0:02:31.520 --> 0:02:34.400 incredible organization that you've been doing for a long time 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:37.320 with in the music industry. But also it's on Dr Phil. 0:02:37.400 --> 0:02:39.079 I was like checking out your own doctor Phil and 0:02:39.120 --> 0:02:42.200 all sorts of TV shows heal in the world. I 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:44.360 don't know about that. We're doing the best we can. 0:02:44.440 --> 0:02:46.760 But yeah, we've got I've got a company called on Site, 0:02:46.880 --> 0:02:50.800 and we're an emotional wellness lifestyle brand and we deliver 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:53.360 a lot of personal growth content. But we also offer 0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:56.959 a whole series of personal growth workshops, therapeutic workshops, and 0:02:57.600 --> 0:03:00.320 I've got a long term residential program too. But when 0:03:00.320 --> 0:03:02.079 I say a personal growth I know that's kind of lie. 0:03:02.120 --> 0:03:05.200 But it's it's pretty diverse and it's offering. It can 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:07.600 be people stuck in struggling or people that just want 0:03:07.600 --> 0:03:10.920 to raise their EQ or just be emotionally in a 0:03:10.960 --> 0:03:13.920 better spot, or become a better parent, better friend, better leader, 0:03:14.000 --> 0:03:17.560 all that stuff. So how does one get into that business? 0:03:18.639 --> 0:03:20.520 Because I feel like I would be your great candidate. 0:03:20.600 --> 0:03:22.880 I have been. I need all the emotional workshops I 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:24.880 could get. I've been till my head about thirty five. 0:03:24.919 --> 0:03:27.280 I was like, I lived in therapy basically, so I 0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:30.920 would be your perfect client. How does one start a 0:03:30.960 --> 0:03:34.320 business like that? Well, for me, I got into it 0:03:34.320 --> 0:03:38.000 through the lens of my own experience. Uh was in 0:03:38.040 --> 0:03:41.240 the wrong career had quite a bit of success in it. 0:03:41.520 --> 0:03:43.360 What was what career was it? I was in the 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:46.200 sports industry, and so I was on the business side 0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:50.680 of sports media, selling media and broadcasting and all that, 0:03:50.760 --> 0:03:52.560 and it was it was fun and it was what 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:55.000 I thought I was always supposed to do. But really 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:56.720 I did it because it was the only imprint that 0:03:56.760 --> 0:03:59.320 I had. I grew up as a kind of a 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:01.360 man's man in a small southern town and if you 0:04:01.400 --> 0:04:03.800 didn't hunt, fish and play sports and you weren't really 0:04:03.800 --> 0:04:06.280 a man. And so yeah, totally, that's the that's the 0:04:06.360 --> 0:04:08.120 norm for what a lot of minute. You did a 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:10.520 post about that the other day when you said a 0:04:10.520 --> 0:04:12.640 man should be vulnerable. It was like a long post 0:04:12.680 --> 0:04:14.120 and I read the whole thing. I was like, what 0:04:14.160 --> 0:04:16.679 were you saying? And that basically, like a man should 0:04:16.760 --> 0:04:20.479 be able to be vulnerable, like to not have to 0:04:20.520 --> 0:04:22.159 be so strong. It was a good one. It was 0:04:22.200 --> 0:04:24.880 the one that you had a lot of guys reach 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:28.200 out to that. That's nice that like a man would 0:04:28.279 --> 0:04:31.560 say that about being a man. Well, I've learned it 0:04:31.640 --> 0:04:34.480 the hard way because it's not necessarily that men should 0:04:34.480 --> 0:04:36.360 be vulnerable. It's just that vulnerability is part of the 0:04:36.440 --> 0:04:38.960 human condition and that men are not exempt from that. 0:04:39.000 --> 0:04:42.200 But culturally, we've men have this perception that we're supposed 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:45.839 to be hard and have this exterior and that vulnerability 0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:49.120 is weakness, and it's absolutely backwards and and wrong. So 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:52.800 it took a lot of emotional pain. And you said 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:56.360 you spent a lot of time in therapy atitu that's 0:04:56.360 --> 0:05:00.400 what we're all healthy. Yeah, yeah, I was so healthy. Honestly, 0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:02.800 I'll speak to that, I think therapally and I know 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:06.080 we're joking, but I think it is completely misbranded. I 0:05:06.120 --> 0:05:07.760 think it's set up in a way that this is 0:05:07.800 --> 0:05:10.080 where you go when you're broken, and it's actually it's 0:05:10.080 --> 0:05:11.599 not what's wrong with you that you would try to 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:13.600 rewrite your narrative and become a better version of yourself. 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:16.160 It's always right with you. And I think the world 0:05:16.200 --> 0:05:17.839 starting to wake up to that. But I think everybody 0:05:17.839 --> 0:05:20.119 needs a good dose of it. Back to what you said, 0:05:20.160 --> 0:05:23.599 there wasn't a lot of artistic influence or music programs, 0:05:23.600 --> 0:05:25.479 and I didn't even know that that kind of soft 0:05:25.480 --> 0:05:28.839 side of me could exist and uh or creative side, 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:30.760 i should say, and I didn't discover it until well 0:05:30.800 --> 0:05:33.080 into my twenties and when I realized that I had 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:35.000 a bit of an identity crisis because I was on 0:05:35.040 --> 0:05:37.320 this one track, but I had interest in others and 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:39.760 just didn't allow myself permission to be who I truly was, 0:05:40.120 --> 0:05:42.720 which led to depression, anxiety, and some of the stuff 0:05:42.760 --> 0:05:45.640 that followed. I was just disconnected from from my body. 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:49.359 So that landed me into some painful experiences, but it 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:53.280 also gave me a lights coming on opportunity. So I 0:05:53.560 --> 0:05:54.840 kind of the right people came around me at the 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:56.640 right time, and I just fell in love with the 0:05:56.720 --> 0:05:59.080 change process and I knew I was going to do 0:05:59.120 --> 0:06:01.479 it for a living us right away. And I didn't 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:03.200 know how, but I thought, I've got to kind of 0:06:03.200 --> 0:06:07.920 find a way to be a part of people's change processes. Yeah, Pattridge, 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:09.520 So then how did you decided to start a clinic? 0:06:09.560 --> 0:06:12.560 And tell me what on site even is. So we've 0:06:12.600 --> 0:06:16.400 got about a seventy five acre retreat center west of Nashville. 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:20.000 Seventy five acre. We've got a seventy bed retreat center 0:06:20.120 --> 0:06:24.640 on about two acres western Nashville. It's it's beautiful. You've 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:26.440 got to come out and see yourself. I want to 0:06:26.480 --> 0:06:29.320 do the whole session with my husband. I feel like 0:06:29.520 --> 0:06:31.400 we're in a great place. I love my husband so much. 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:33.960 Vanessa and I were talking like we talked about we'll 0:06:33.960 --> 0:06:36.200 get down into the nitty gritty, but to have tools 0:06:36.240 --> 0:06:39.679 therapy is what helped us move forward in our marriage 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:42.400 in such a positive way because we've identified tools to 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:44.080 communicate with each other and that you don't have to 0:06:44.160 --> 0:06:46.839 like freak out and like lose your mind. You can Okay, 0:06:47.080 --> 0:06:48.960 So this is triggering this because of this, So I 0:06:48.960 --> 0:06:50.800 would love to do that. Yeah, yeah, I would love 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:52.479 to have you. I think you would love it. But 0:06:52.600 --> 0:06:55.760 it Uh. I worked in the crisis space for a while, 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:57.880 so when I got first got into it, I got 0:06:57.920 --> 0:07:00.200 trained and certified and doing interventions, which is what got 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:06.680 me into the entertainment community. Not everywhere there's quite a 0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:09.920 bit of it. There is, probably, and I was in Nashville. 0:07:09.920 --> 0:07:11.480 There wasn't a lot of intermigenus to Nashville, so I 0:07:11.480 --> 0:07:13.520 would get the calls when some one was struggling with 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:15.600 addiction or the just the wheels were falling off with this, 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:18.080 and I liked it. There were parts of it I 0:07:18.120 --> 0:07:19.840 was good at. In parts of it, I just it 0:07:19.880 --> 0:07:21.760 wasn't for me, and I learned that after doing it 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:23.640 for a little while. But I knew I wanted to 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:25.560 be in the space. And then I went to work 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:28.040 in kind of the treatment space, and I worked treatment 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:31.640 meaning residential long term care, and that was almost It 0:07:31.760 --> 0:07:34.040 was amazing, and I so honor a lot of my 0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:36.480 colleagues and friends that still have programs and do those, 0:07:36.560 --> 0:07:39.320 but it felt limiting to who would have access to it. 0:07:40.040 --> 0:07:42.480 And in other words, it's pretty predictable. You know, somebody 0:07:42.520 --> 0:07:45.520 crashes out with addiction or mental health, they come into 0:07:45.560 --> 0:07:47.840 an impatient setting, You do the best you can with 0:07:47.880 --> 0:07:49.280 them in thirty days and try to send them back 0:07:49.280 --> 0:07:51.560 out in the world. And I thought, that's great for 0:07:51.600 --> 0:07:54.120 that population, what about the rest of us? And so 0:07:54.160 --> 0:07:56.840 I long dreamed of a place that had a bigger 0:07:56.880 --> 0:07:59.080 mission and a wider door for all of us to 0:07:59.080 --> 0:08:01.000 be able to walk through whether we think we're stuck, 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:03.680 struggling or not, so we can kind of came up 0:08:03.720 --> 0:08:06.520 with the workshop or seminar model, which I would I 0:08:06.520 --> 0:08:08.680 didn't ponteer it. I actually bought a company that was 0:08:08.680 --> 0:08:11.200 pre existing and doing some of it, and then since 0:08:11.240 --> 0:08:13.760 then we've innovated and helped recreate a lot of content 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:18.320 and now that's on site today. Okay, so how does 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:22.240 this make for marriage? Because you guys, first off, tell 0:08:22.280 --> 0:08:23.840 me your story vs. I was telling me a little 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:26.160 bit about y'alls love story, which is, can you give 0:08:26.240 --> 0:08:27.800 us a little brief summary of how you met? Because 0:08:27.800 --> 0:08:29.440 it was almost kind of love at first sight for 0:08:29.480 --> 0:08:32.000 you guys, and you weren't intentionally trying to go to 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:34.560 date fall in love. So I want to know how 0:08:34.559 --> 0:08:36.600 you guys meant and then how you guys, with this 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:39.960 healthy framework that y'all have in place, how do you 0:08:40.000 --> 0:08:45.080 apply it to marriage. It's so funny because, like I 0:08:45.120 --> 0:08:48.440 was telling you, the when you're when you're when you 0:08:48.520 --> 0:08:50.400 do something like that for a living, it's not like 0:08:50.440 --> 0:08:52.640 you have all the tools. I mean you have them, 0:08:52.720 --> 0:08:55.880 but it's hard to in the middle of something. Um. 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:58.920 But he's been really helpful with helping me with some 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:01.520 of my stuff Toobviously, I've got a therapy before, and 0:09:01.720 --> 0:09:04.800 I've done the program on an on site. It's phenomenal. Um. 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:08.080 But No, to answer your question, we met, I was visiting. 0:09:08.360 --> 0:09:11.480 I'm from Los Angeles originally an actress. An actress, been 0:09:11.480 --> 0:09:14.160 acting since most twelve you know, I was really into it. 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:16.920 I was on a soap opera back in the day, 0:09:17.080 --> 0:09:19.800 which one I was on, The Young and the Restless. Heck, yeah, 0:09:19.840 --> 0:09:23.040 that's like the soap opera of Also, if you want 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:25.280 to one, if you want to be on one, that 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:27.160 might be the one you might want to be honest, 0:09:27.280 --> 0:09:30.280 And you are in movies Shark tell the Shark movie. 0:09:30.360 --> 0:09:33.880 Oh yeah, that's where I got you too. Yes, I've done. 0:09:34.080 --> 0:09:37.640 I've done about your movies, but mostly like Christmas movies, Hallmark, 0:09:37.760 --> 0:09:41.320 you kind of not all great fun movies. But then 0:09:41.360 --> 0:09:45.000 I did do a movie called sand Sharks with a friend, 0:09:45.160 --> 0:09:47.360 a girl who became a friend of mine, and she 0:09:47.600 --> 0:09:49.840 decided to move out to Nashville to do music. And 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:53.920 this is Brookean, Yeah, the whole daughter. But she's in 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:57.600 her own right. Yeah, she's wonderful, she's awesome. I thank 0:09:57.640 --> 0:09:59.760 her for the reason. I mean, I wouldn't probably have 0:09:59.840 --> 0:10:01.960 met Miles. Well I might have met him a different way. 0:10:02.320 --> 0:10:05.040 But she asked me to come out here to visit 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:07.120 her for her birthday when she had just moved here, 0:10:07.200 --> 0:10:09.080 and I was kind of on the fence about it, 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:11.959 and I finally she actually bought me my plane ticket 0:10:11.960 --> 0:10:14.400 because I wasn't coming. I'm like, I'm not going to Nashville. 0:10:14.800 --> 0:10:17.800 I have no desire to go to Nashville. Yeah no, 0:10:18.360 --> 0:10:21.440 And this is before Nashville had any good restaurants. So 0:10:22.080 --> 0:10:23.920 I thought, you know, I'm not I'm not going to 0:10:24.000 --> 0:10:25.600 come out there. But she ended up by me ticket. 0:10:25.679 --> 0:10:27.920 I came out and we were at a We were 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:31.480 at a restaurant. Unless our parents are asking, it was, 0:10:31.559 --> 0:10:36.839 it's actually really a bar restaurant. Yeah, we were at 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:40.400 the bar. But most love stories started at the bar. Yeah, 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:44.559 I mean the best one best just relationships at the bar. 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:49.200 She'd be best bar relationship. So yeah, so we Uh, 0:10:49.240 --> 0:10:51.960 I was at the We were at the tavern in Nashville, 0:10:52.160 --> 0:10:55.199 and I was sitting at the bar with her with Brooke, 0:10:55.360 --> 0:10:59.040 and we had seen Miles when we walked in. Were 0:10:59.040 --> 0:11:01.440 you like, oh that I want to I want to 0:11:01.440 --> 0:11:03.920 get to know that guy. I really wasn't. I don't 0:11:03.920 --> 0:11:05.760 know why I think. I mean, I saw him. I 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:07.200 thought he was so cute. I was like, oh, ye 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:09.160 had a flannel on and it was weird, and ianals 0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:11.760 are so cute. They're now from l But now I 0:11:11.800 --> 0:11:15.480 love flannels. I can't buy I can't buy him enough flannels. Now. Yeah, 0:11:15.480 --> 0:11:17.280 he's trying to move away now from the flannels, and 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:20.959 I'm like, here's another flannel. But so so I did 0:11:20.960 --> 0:11:23.800 see him and then he I would let him take 0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:25.520 over the story because he tells the story so much 0:11:25.559 --> 0:11:28.440 better than me, because it's actually is a purpose behind it. 0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:31.520 So so all right, so I'll tell I'll tell the 0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:35.520 bravery love birds. I'll tell the abbreviated version. That's the 0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:39.800 first time we've ever done anything like really exciting. Thanks 0:11:40.760 --> 0:11:42.760 you guys, y'all just getting married all over again. If 0:11:42.800 --> 0:11:48.120 you know who we will, Yes, I will ordain a 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:50.880 merry look. Yeah, the cute is okay, So tell your 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:53.760 love story. Let's okay. So I had just come back 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:55.880 from a speaking gig and I was actually overseason. So 0:11:55.920 --> 0:11:58.280 I had a long flight from London and was watching 0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:01.040 movies and I watched the movie because we bought a zoo. 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:04.959 You know, yeah, you know that one. Okay, so um, 0:12:05.000 --> 0:12:06.640 A lot of men would not because it's kind of 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:08.719 a chick flig, but that's when I love watching chick 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:12.280 flits on long planes. But I uh, there is a 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:15.319 theme in that movie where it's Matt Damon and Scarlett Johansson. 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:17.600 And but Scarlett was who he met after his wife 0:12:17.600 --> 0:12:20.880 had passed, Remember his first wife, He met her and 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:25.079 all you need is twenty seconds of courage, and I 0:12:25.080 --> 0:12:28.360 will change your life. Remember that, Yes, that is so true. 0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:31.559 To it's true. Then for me, I contend to be 0:12:31.960 --> 0:12:33.600 I think it's funny that a lot of people would 0:12:33.600 --> 0:12:35.480 think that because of the space that we're in where 0:12:35.520 --> 0:12:37.560 this picture of emotional health and we're actually a hot 0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:42.679 mess most days. To see. I think being a picture 0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:45.160 of emotional health is admitting that you're a hot mess, 0:12:45.600 --> 0:12:47.920 you know, because you're not going to avoid the human condition, 0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:50.440 especially when you're combining life of someone. Okay, go ahead, 0:12:50.720 --> 0:12:52.840 Well there was a there was a gift in a 0:12:52.880 --> 0:12:56.840 burden of learning how to analyze yourself in your process, 0:12:56.880 --> 0:12:59.760 because you can become over analytical. And it tripped me 0:12:59.840 --> 0:13:03.079 up for years because I had this. I dreamed of 0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:06.240 being married and having a family, and obviously the dream 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:09.040 we all have a lot of people have, and but 0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:11.960 but I had it as perfect, which doesn't exist. But 0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:14.360 it was just unconscious. So I would either get in 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:17.960 a bad relationship or I would get in one that 0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:21.720 wasn't perfect, and I just I struggled relationally for a while, which, honestly, 0:13:21.720 --> 0:13:23.720 when you're the face of a place that teaches people 0:13:23.720 --> 0:13:27.560 how to do healthy relationship, that's tough. Seriously, we're like, 0:13:27.559 --> 0:13:31.280 why why can't you work out? Our relationships just supposed 0:13:31.280 --> 0:13:35.920 to be the relationship I can help you. And finally, 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:38.160 you know, I kind of surrendered to the idea that 0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:43.319 the tools that we sometimes have when we're really intimacy 0:13:43.360 --> 0:13:45.360 and up close in our own process, they go out 0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:48.679 the window and we just have to sometimes go with 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:50.800 their instinct, their heart, our gut, and sometimes the bigger 0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:52.960 picture to help us navigate that. That's what happened in 0:13:53.000 --> 0:13:55.559 this case. That little simple phrase, with all the therapeutic 0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:57.960 jargon I know about how to take emotional risk and 0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:00.440 commit all that ship with another one. And I had 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:03.320 one little phrases twenty seconds of courage, and I thought, 0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:05.440 you know what, And so I see her, But you 0:14:05.480 --> 0:14:08.040 see Vanessa, When you see Vanessa, what do you think 0:14:08.040 --> 0:14:09.840 when you Well, I wasn't in I wasn't in a 0:14:09.880 --> 0:14:12.720 great space. I just come out of relationship and I 0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:14.160 was like, I'm gonna give this some time. I'm not 0:14:14.200 --> 0:14:18.640 gonna date. I was so you guys are an identical situation. 0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:20.640 I'll tell you how sad I was. I was actually 0:14:20.640 --> 0:14:25.920 out with the intern. It was like, oh, so you 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:29.440 were like you were like dying for who wasn't my idea. 0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:30.960 But she I think she kind of felt sorry for me, 0:14:30.960 --> 0:14:34.800 and she's like, you should go out. So but I 0:14:34.840 --> 0:14:37.040 did and she actually turned into a great friend. She's 0:14:37.280 --> 0:14:39.400 she's been great. But I was out with the intern 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:42.680 sol Vanessa, and I was like, she's beautiful. She stunningly beautiful. 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:45.360 I saw her from across the room. She was sitting 0:14:45.400 --> 0:14:49.360 at the bar with Brooke and I typically, historically have 0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:54.320 never approached. I just don't do that, um, you know, 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:56.040 to hit on somebody, because I just don't have much game. 0:14:56.080 --> 0:15:02.640 I'm kind of clumsy. So I was all right, um, 0:15:02.800 --> 0:15:04.800 this is where I would just acknowledge that and move on. 0:15:04.840 --> 0:15:07.160 But I thought, you need twenty seconds occur. What is 0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:10.840 your yeah, yes, what's the worst that could happen? Seriously, 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:12.880 what's the worst that can happen? Well, in those twenty 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:14.480 seconds of courage, it feels like the end of the 0:15:14.520 --> 0:15:17.240 world because you get rejected. I can throw my drink 0:15:17.280 --> 0:15:19.200 in your face like they do in the movies. Yeah, 0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:22.120 So I went for it. So I started walking towards her. 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:24.840 Oh God, and you felt that would have been the 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:30.440 best hard and love. So I got from like me 0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:32.960 to you and I pan it on the inside and 0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:35.240 I was like exit stage laft. I was like, get 0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:36.240 out of here because I didn't know what I was 0:15:36.240 --> 0:15:38.360 gonna say. But now, but now that you see him 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:41.280 approaching in the panic, I can see it like you're happening. Okay, 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:44.120 Well I got that close without having any line or 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:47.120 anything like this is not a good plan stressing for 0:15:47.160 --> 0:15:50.040 you right now. I feel like I was just getting 0:15:50.040 --> 0:15:55.240 ready to pull out, like like dark like the minute 0:15:55.320 --> 0:15:57.480 I got to when I was about to pull out, 0:15:57.520 --> 0:16:00.400 she pulled up her camera to take a selfie. Thank 0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:02.840 you Jesus did say that. I'm not Jesus. I think 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:05.720 I thank God, but you are too. And I just 0:16:05.720 --> 0:16:07.200 reached and grabbed it and I said, can I take 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:12.200 that picture? Stop? That was well, that was that was 0:16:12.240 --> 0:16:15.240 the movie universe was helping you out. So I took 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:18.840 the picture. It started in a conversation. One cool thing 0:16:19.200 --> 0:16:20.840 something we do it on site a lot of people 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:23.000 that have been their nose. We asked people not to 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:26.200 reveal their profession, the whole town. They're there, which is 0:16:26.320 --> 0:16:31.640 very cool because people and so it's a thing that 0:16:31.760 --> 0:16:33.720 is kind of pretty special as part of our process, 0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:37.040 but I've never really practiced it outside of it unconsciously. 0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:39.520 We didn't try, but we talked for an hour and 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:41.280 neither of us ever mentioned what the other did for 0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:44.080 a living. Stop cool is that? So did you know 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:46.480 right away when you were chatting with them? Oh? Yes, 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:49.640 well I didn't, Okay, So in that moment, I was 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:52.520 just thinking it was like building inside. I was like, 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:54.520 oh my gosh, oh boy, here I go. Oh no, 0:16:54.520 --> 0:16:57.320 oh no, And I'm falling careful and love this quick 0:16:57.320 --> 0:17:01.880 because that's possible. I mean, I started me these thoughts. Um. Yeah, 0:17:02.040 --> 0:17:05.520 at the restaurant, I was definitely into him. And then 0:17:05.760 --> 0:17:08.439 but then I thought, yeah, I was really well. I 0:17:08.480 --> 0:17:10.560 was glad at the psychic that I met with months 0:17:10.600 --> 0:17:12.200 before told me that I would be in the South 0:17:12.240 --> 0:17:14.080 a lot. I thought she was full of it. Now 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:17.080 I know what, I'll send anyone to her now. Um, 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:20.359 But anyway, yes, I know she was great. But so 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:23.920 though I was, I was, I did think he was wonderful, 0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:25.159 but I was like, I've got to go back to 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:27.080 l A. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna. I put 0:17:27.080 --> 0:17:29.840 the brakes on the feelings and you're like hardcore pursuing 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:32.199 movies and I was pursuing it and I was in it, 0:17:32.280 --> 0:17:34.439 and I'm just like, I'm an actor, a guy like 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:36.720 life is in l A. You know, it's not really 0:17:36.760 --> 0:17:39.840 I'm not like Scarlett JR. Hansen, So l A wouldn't 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:43.520 miss me too much. One movie away is so true. 0:17:43.800 --> 0:17:48.199 But but no. So he he was very um, he 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:51.280 was very charming. And what got me actually was the 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:55.600 next morning he called me in the morning, not text me. 0:17:55.920 --> 0:17:58.439 He called. He picked up the phone, dialed my number 0:17:58.480 --> 0:18:00.879 and he was like, hey, sunce On, that's a horrible 0:18:00.920 --> 0:18:05.320 access Sunshine, and he called the Sunshine and I literally 0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:07.680 almost dropped the phone. I was like, he just called me, Sunshine, 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:10.520 Like this guy is my husband or he's the biggest 0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:13.000 con artist and totally well. I definitely thought that for 0:18:13.040 --> 0:18:14.560 a minute. So then I thought, oh my gosh, I 0:18:14.560 --> 0:18:16.200 don't know anything about him. I've got to like look 0:18:16.200 --> 0:18:18.080 into this guy, like what if he's like, you know, 0:18:18.160 --> 0:18:21.159 he could be a serial kid's way too good to 0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:23.800 be true. He's real slick and cute, and just like 0:18:23.880 --> 0:18:26.199 that smiling. You're a little slick, but like in a 0:18:26.240 --> 0:18:29.120 good he thought he was gonna like flub it. But yeah, 0:18:29.200 --> 0:18:31.440 in your mind, it's like he's got all the moves. Yeah, 0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:34.760 I love then he definitely. But then that night he 0:18:34.920 --> 0:18:38.760 we uh he we met up again and he came 0:18:38.800 --> 0:18:40.840 to the birthday party. Was the next time, Yeah, it 0:18:40.880 --> 0:18:43.000 was the next night after he called you. That morning 0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:44.840 he called me and we invited him to the to 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:47.640 the whatever it was. So we we ended up hanging 0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:50.480 out again, and I that's when I sent that text 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:52.600 to my mom that said I think I'm sitting next 0:18:52.600 --> 0:18:54.919 to my future husband. And we took a picture. And 0:18:54.960 --> 0:18:57.800 then the third day, Yeah, he didn't see it till 0:18:57.840 --> 0:19:00.639 our wedding day. Yeah, my mom framed it and it 0:19:00.720 --> 0:19:03.320 was really sweet. And then the third day, the third day, 0:19:03.359 --> 0:19:04.879 he was leaving to go out of town again and 0:19:04.920 --> 0:19:07.040 I was leaving back to Los Angeles and we had 0:19:07.040 --> 0:19:10.240 our first proper date at the airport. And I'll never 0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:12.800 forget that. Yeah, the guy when we were going through 0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:16.160 security thought we were married for years. He said something 0:19:16.200 --> 0:19:19.159 to us on and forget that, and uh yeah, and 0:19:19.240 --> 0:19:21.159 so and then we had a long, long distance for 0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:22.960 a long time. I was gonna say this is only part. 0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:25.399