1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,200 Speaker 1: My wife keeps ruining our date nights. Does she want 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:04,000 Speaker 1: to divorce me? 3 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:06,440 Speaker 2: She should, it's over. 4 00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:10,040 Speaker 1: My wife and I have a great relationship. Last night, however, 5 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,000 Speaker 1: I learned from my wife that she has been on 6 00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: a spicy sleep strike for most of the last month 7 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:18,320 Speaker 1: due to some comments I made on our last date night. 8 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:19,800 Speaker 1: You just figured that out. 9 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 2: Man's not from last month. He's just like this is normal. 10 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:25,239 Speaker 2: I've accepted it. 11 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from tas zero three, one, 12 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: five four four on the Okay storytime subured it so 13 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 1: as background, I arranged a nice date night each month 14 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:37,120 Speaker 1: for just the two of us. I planted dinner somewhere nice, 15 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:40,919 Speaker 1: arrange a babysitter, feed or three kids dinner, and otherwise 16 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,360 Speaker 1: handle all of the logistics so that all she has 17 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,639 Speaker 1: to do is show up. That's sweet. I like that. 18 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:49,120 Speaker 1: Typically we'll grab drinks somewhere after dinner, often meeting up 19 00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:51,920 Speaker 1: with friends. Earlier this month, I planned an evening out 20 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,960 Speaker 1: and we had a fantastic dinner together. After dinner, we 21 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,320 Speaker 1: met up with a couple we are friends with. However, 22 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 1: the wife was tired and wanted to go to bed, 23 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 1: so only her husband ended up joining us. Around eleven 24 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 1: forty five, we had to leave to relieve our babysitter. 25 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,240 Speaker 1: My wife was having fun and didn't want the evening 26 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:10,399 Speaker 1: to end, so she invited our friend over for another drink. 27 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 1: I told her I was fine with that, but that 28 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,039 Speaker 1: I was hoping to be in bed by one am. 29 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,400 Speaker 1: As background, I do the morning shift with our three 30 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,000 Speaker 1: kids every day and they get up early. My wife 31 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 1: promised that we'd be in bed by that, but didn't it. 32 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:22,880 Speaker 1: When did they get back. They got back at like 33 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 1: eleven forty five, Okay, so she was like, it's just 34 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 1: a billing an hour. One that's pretty close to one. 35 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 2: You gotta get your wine down thing. 36 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you have to brush your teeth. You know, 37 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 1: at bed it takes a while gonna sing show tunes 38 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 1: in the shower, simply must you have to. My wife 39 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 1: promised that we'd be in bed by then. Our friend 40 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:44,120 Speaker 1: comes over, We open a bottle of wine, put on 41 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:49,400 Speaker 1: some music, and we're all having a good time. One 42 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,800 Speaker 1: comes around and he gets up to go, but my 43 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:55,040 Speaker 1: wife tells us we can't leave as she's vibing. I 44 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 1: stick around for another ten minutes or so and then 45 00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: decide to call it. My wife tells me she'll be 46 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:02,640 Speaker 1: up in another ten minutes. I get ready for bed, 47 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:05,240 Speaker 1: which takes about that long, and don't hear it coming. 48 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 1: So I go to bed. Around three am, I get 49 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: woken up by her coming into our bedroom. She was 50 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 1: wasted at this point and made a lot of noise. 51 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,640 Speaker 1: She was downstairs with that guy for until three am. 52 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 2: And remind me of the relation with her. 53 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 1: That guy they're friends and he's married. But the other 54 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:27,360 Speaker 1: wife couldn't come. So I also think it's I don't know, 55 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,320 Speaker 1: maybe this is just their vibe, but I feel like, 56 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 1: if you're gonna have a date night, that should be 57 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 1: like you and your wife. 58 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 2: Not If not, why your your wife's boyfriend to be 59 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:38,880 Speaker 2: vibing on that date? 60 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 1: She had a vibe, a vibe. I'm now wide awake, 61 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 1: and if that happens, usually takes me a while to 62 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,359 Speaker 1: go back to sleep, in this case, around five, which 63 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 1: I like. 64 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 2: He's not even worried about, like them spending all that 65 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 2: time together drunk and stealing the date. Yeah, it's like, 66 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:58,080 Speaker 2: I'm not mad. I'm just mad that I took so 67 00:02:58,120 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 2: long to get back to sleep. 68 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,119 Speaker 1: She woke me up, and that's the real issue. 69 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:07,240 Speaker 2: She wants to vibe with some guy who's married or not, 70 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 2: who knows, who knows these days to say no. 71 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 1: Sam woke me up at three in the morning the 72 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,919 Speaker 1: other day when you came home with Dad after your 73 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 1: lobster fishing, and it took me forever to get back 74 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:18,080 Speaker 1: to sleep. 75 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 2: We were relatively quiet. 76 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:26,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, he waved a piano et awaits up the whole 77 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 1: house playing piano. Every one person there's my dad in 78 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,799 Speaker 1: this case, around five, which was fun when the kids 79 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,920 Speaker 1: woke up at six thirty. Anyways, at this point, since 80 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 1: I'm awake, I try to initiate spicy sleep. 81 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 2: With my wife awake. 82 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 1: Wait at three, at three. 83 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 2: At three, she gets when she's getting into bed. 84 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,720 Speaker 1: When she's getting into bed, you were like, well, I'm 85 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 1: freaking up. 86 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean my man downstairs did all of the 87 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 2: like the work vibing, you have the benefits, right. 88 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:01,160 Speaker 1: Who declines and says that she he's too tired, which 89 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, it's like in the. 90 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 2: Morning, takes a lot of energy to vibe with this 91 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 2: married man downstairs. 92 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:09,720 Speaker 1: I don't pressure her and she immediately falls asleep. However, 93 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: I can't sleep now due to be being woken up 94 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 1: and sit there and stew for a few hours, mostly 95 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:17,960 Speaker 1: frustrated at being woken up, but also annoyed how the 96 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 1: evening went overall. My first mistake was sending her a 97 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 1: text while she was asleep, saying that her actions at 98 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 1: evening were hurtful and that it felt like I planned 99 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,720 Speaker 1: this nice evening only for her to end up spending 100 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:31,039 Speaker 1: the later part of it with someone else, and not 101 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,719 Speaker 1: like that. I'm one hundred percent confident they were just 102 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:35,279 Speaker 1: listening to music and chatting. 103 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:37,480 Speaker 2: Wall Wait, she's mad at him. 104 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 1: He's mad at her. 105 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:39,360 Speaker 2: Oh, he's mad at her. 106 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,120 Speaker 1: He sent her a text. So he's in bed next her, 107 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,600 Speaker 1: and he sends her a text while she's sleeping. 108 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:45,880 Speaker 2: Okay, that's why I was a little good. 109 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:50,680 Speaker 1: I guess I'm really upset that the evening didn't go 110 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:53,919 Speaker 1: the way I planned. Just next time, don't invite a 111 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 1: friend to hang out. If you're on a date night, 112 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,320 Speaker 1: just leave it as a date night. 113 00:04:57,720 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that, especially someone more care is madic. 114 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, someone who's more attracted is. 115 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 2: Someone who just wants to vibe with your wife more 116 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:04,880 Speaker 2: than you. 117 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: That's your first misdake. The next morning, she came downstairs apologetic. However, 118 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 1: I made the mistake of mentioning that her actions made 119 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 1: me not really want to plan these extravagant date nights anymore, 120 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: as she had broken her promise about going to bed 121 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 1: at a reasonable hour and then ruined my sleep. Not 122 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 1: the first time this has happened on a date night, then, 123 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 1: and this is where I maybe the a hole. I 124 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 1: added that this was at least the fourth date night 125 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,719 Speaker 1: in a row where the night had ended with us 126 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 1: not having spicy sleep, and that, in my mind, a 127 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 1: good date night ends in spicy sleep. I also added 128 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:37,800 Speaker 1: that this one was particularly offensive because it felt like 129 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:39,719 Speaker 1: she abandoned me at the end of the night. These 130 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,320 Speaker 1: comments really upset her, and she said they made her 131 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:45,280 Speaker 1: feel like I only appreciate her for spicy sleep. I 132 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 1: feel like he could have approached the conversation a little 133 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 1: bit better. 134 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:52,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, but really quick. He's the one that invited this friend. 135 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:58,159 Speaker 1: It's seemingly seeming well, I think maybe she might have 136 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,560 Speaker 1: suggested it, but it seems like it's pretty common for 137 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,640 Speaker 1: them to hang out with friends after they get dinner. 138 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:04,919 Speaker 1: And then it just so happened that this friend the 139 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 1: wife wasn't able to make it, so it was just 140 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:07,359 Speaker 1: the husband. 141 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,920 Speaker 2: M oh, it was supposed to it was supposed to 142 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:13,080 Speaker 2: be like a double this, but it ended up just 143 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:14,800 Speaker 2: that guy and his. 144 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,360 Speaker 1: Wife on a date and op was in bed. 145 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:19,360 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah. 146 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,719 Speaker 1: She added that date night should be about having fun 147 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,599 Speaker 1: and enjoying her company, and then I shouldn't be about 148 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,479 Speaker 1: me not having spicy sleep on day nights. Honestly, I 149 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 1: have some sympathy for her perspective about enjoying each other's 150 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,360 Speaker 1: company being the most important part of a date night. 151 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,599 Speaker 1: But I also don't think it's unreasonable to feel a 152 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:38,520 Speaker 1: little let down after planning a romantic evening, especially since 153 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:42,000 Speaker 1: it had become a pattern, and particularly when she effectively 154 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,880 Speaker 1: chose to do something else rather than have spicy sleep 155 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:47,760 Speaker 1: with me. So read it. What do we think? Am 156 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:50,520 Speaker 1: I the a hole? And there are some comments and 157 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,479 Speaker 1: an update? But what do you think? 158 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,960 Speaker 2: I think if you want the best shot of this 159 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 2: date night going, well, maybe just have it be the 160 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:57,640 Speaker 2: two of you. 161 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. It doesn't have to You don't 162 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 1: have to include multiple parties into the date night. It 163 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,880 Speaker 1: can just be you and your wife and you get 164 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,279 Speaker 1: dinner and then you go home at a reasonable hour. 165 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:12,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, and then maybe you've vibed enough with your wife 166 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 2: one on one that she might be interested in some 167 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 2: spicy time. 168 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's kind of hard to like catch a 169 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:22,120 Speaker 1: vibe when there's three people with you know. 170 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:26,360 Speaker 2: And also it's like it's also hard to catch a 171 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,800 Speaker 2: vibe where it's like, all right, she's just been vibing 172 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,840 Speaker 2: with this guy downstairs, and then suddenly there's this other 173 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,880 Speaker 2: guy in her bed that she hasn't been vibing with 174 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 2: all night. 175 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like if she's five in the morning and he's 176 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 1: kind of pissed and sleepy, and he's like, let's do 177 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 1: it now, and she's like in the morning. 178 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I'm drunk. It's three in the morning. We 179 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 2: haven't been talking. Where's where's the ramp up period for me? 180 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,920 Speaker 2: Like I need some tender love and care. No, I 181 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 2: think at that point. 182 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: I think that they can still have their friend night. 183 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 1: But maybe that's a different night. Maybe once a month 184 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 1: is date night just for you guys, and then once 185 00:07:59,240 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 1: a month is for. 186 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,920 Speaker 2: And OPI I'm like, I'm pure. You know, it seems like, 187 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 2: you know, you're a little mad that or you're a 188 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:09,240 Speaker 2: little disappointed that things didn't end the way you wanted. 189 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 2: Them to and if you want that, all you gotta 190 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:13,880 Speaker 2: do just one on one time vibe with your wife. 191 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,440 Speaker 2: Don't let her vibe with other people. I mean don't 192 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 2: like she should still be vibe with other people, but 193 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 2: not in. 194 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:20,760 Speaker 1: Your date night, not on your day, on your date. 195 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 2: Night, if you want to get lucky at the end. 196 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 1: No, but there are some comments. Pebbles nineteen seventy fifty 197 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 1: three says, I think you should stop meeting out with 198 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 1: friends for drinks after dinner. If it's a date night, 199 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 1: it should be about just the two of you. Serenity 200 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:36,719 Speaker 1: Miale says, this is the way. Why is date night 201 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:39,280 Speaker 1: with other people? Everyone's on this, on board with this. 202 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:42,079 Speaker 1: The Amber Drake says, it's all that the friend abandoned 203 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 1: his sick wife in order to spend time with OPI 204 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,960 Speaker 1: and his wife. Doubly odd that once op went to bed, 205 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,080 Speaker 1: the friends stuck around for hours of wasted one on 206 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 1: one time with OPI's wife instead of going home to 207 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:53,680 Speaker 1: his sick wife. 208 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 2: Very peculiar. Did Ope try to get oh he well, 209 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:59,040 Speaker 2: he did try to get his wife to like, hey, 210 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 2: like I'm going to bed, yeah, and she was like. 211 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,640 Speaker 1: No, we're vibing and then he was like okay, and 212 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:05,360 Speaker 1: she's like, I'll be up in ten minutes, and then 213 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 1: she never came out. 214 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,120 Speaker 2: I think that's a little whack on her part. 215 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,000 Speaker 1: I agree. I think that, you know, he gets. 216 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:12,440 Speaker 2: A little whack on her part as well, if like 217 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,680 Speaker 2: they both should be prioritizing date night. I mean again 218 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,839 Speaker 2: fertile ground not being set for the optimum date night, 219 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,560 Speaker 2: like we've said. But I think that's a little whack 220 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,079 Speaker 2: on her part to not come up. 221 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:25,640 Speaker 1: I think so neutral party says, don't forget Ohpie specifically 222 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:29,320 Speaker 1: mentioned that his wife gets corny when wasted. Put two 223 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:32,840 Speaker 1: and two together and judgment not the a hole, and 224 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:39,880 Speaker 1: there is an update one month later. I'm sorry, I 225 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:44,120 Speaker 1: really already talked about it, that it was right, but 226 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:48,079 Speaker 1: we're having an affair. She was vibing too hard. 227 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:52,240 Speaker 2: Vibe too hard? Oh man, I mean they were I 228 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 2: feel like, yeah, I honestly vibing. I did not see 229 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:57,280 Speaker 2: that coming. 230 00:09:57,440 --> 00:09:58,880 Speaker 1: I kind of saw it coming, but I was like, 231 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:01,920 Speaker 1: I'll give it the benefit of because OPI was like, no, no, no, 232 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 1: guys like they I know my wife, she one hundred 233 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,560 Speaker 1: percent was not having an effect. You were wrong, Op, 234 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 1: you were the ones expect. Yeah, sometimes the most obvious 235 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 1: answer is the right answer. Oh well. I posted about 236 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 1: a month ago about how I was upset my wife 237 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,480 Speaker 1: invited her friends back over to our house at the 238 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 1: end of the date night, and that the husband ended 239 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,320 Speaker 1: up hanging out until three am after I went to 240 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 1: bed at one am. A lot of people suggested they 241 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,800 Speaker 1: were having an affair and that I was blind to 242 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,679 Speaker 1: not see it. I swore and swore there was no 243 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,760 Speaker 1: way I trust both of them, et cetera. Turns out 244 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,600 Speaker 1: Reddit was right. I was unpacking the car and my 245 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 1: wife had left her phone in there, and when I 246 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:44,080 Speaker 1: picked it up, a text from our friend flashed across, 247 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 1: saying how he wanted to kiss her and asking her 248 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,320 Speaker 1: to tell me she needed a night out and she'd 249 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:49,959 Speaker 1: go out to a bar with him. I know it's 250 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:52,160 Speaker 1: an invasion curacy, bad guy. 251 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 2: But he understands the assignment. Don't invite other people on 252 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,680 Speaker 2: your date night. It's just them two at a bar. 253 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 2: You don't need a third wheel, you know. 254 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:06,520 Speaker 1: I know it's an invasion of privacy, but we know 255 00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 1: one another's pass codes. So I opened her phone and 256 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 1: checked their text chain. I normally like super against However, 257 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 1: he like, he did see the text that said I 258 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 1: wanted to kiss you. 259 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 2: He saw the text. I feel like probable cause at 260 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:24,240 Speaker 2: that point. Our rule is probable cause. There's probable cause. 261 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,360 Speaker 1: In this case, It's like your relationship is already over. 262 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 1: She had been deleting his messages, but they were still 263 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:32,160 Speaker 1: and the deleted messages folder you fool, and it wasn't great. 264 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 1: They've been going on dates during the day when I'm 265 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,000 Speaker 1: at work, and he has said very suggestive things to her. 266 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,360 Speaker 1: I confronted my wife about it, and she claimed it 267 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 1: was purely an emotional affair, that she knew he loved 268 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 1: her and enjoyed the attention, and that she had been 269 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,679 Speaker 1: dealing with severe depression, which is true, and it was 270 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,080 Speaker 1: nice to have someone to talk to who wasn't me. 271 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:53,839 Speaker 1: But isn't it purely emotional If they've been kissing, I 272 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 1: feel like that's physical. 273 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,800 Speaker 2: No, no, no, it's just emotional kissing. 274 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 1: It's just. 275 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 2: Really really close. 276 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 1: Oh my god. There's an episode of psych where Sean 277 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,960 Speaker 1: He's like trying to woo the other character, Juliette, and 278 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,120 Speaker 1: he just gets He starts talking to her like right here, 279 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 1: and she's like, are you trying to kiss me. He's like, no, 280 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,160 Speaker 1: I'm just close talking. And then he's and she's like, 281 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,199 Speaker 1: do you have anything else to say? And he goes no, 282 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,280 Speaker 1: it's so cute. That's what they were doing. 283 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 2: That's what it sounds like. 284 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, that she still loved me. It was just very 285 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:26,679 Speaker 1: flattering to have the attention. I don't know whether that 286 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,960 Speaker 1: is all true or not, but I honestly do think 287 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 1: she's telling the truth. She pretty much argued it wasn't 288 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,200 Speaker 1: that big of a deal because they didn't do anything 289 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:38,079 Speaker 1: physical outside of him kissing her once. That's why that's physical. 290 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,680 Speaker 2: That's a big This is a big deal. Also, I 291 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,839 Speaker 2: feel like Opie is way too trusting him. 292 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:46,079 Speaker 1: Oh he's so trusting, Like, I mean, that's nice, but 293 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 1: also the fact that you were like, no, one hundred percent, 294 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,200 Speaker 1: she's not cheating on me. And then she comes and 295 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,200 Speaker 1: she's like, yeah, so I did cheat, but like not physical, 296 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:57,120 Speaker 1: which is physically. He's like, for sure, I believe her, 297 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,959 Speaker 1: And in her defense, the suggestive texts all came from 298 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,160 Speaker 1: him because she deleted all of her texts. So I 299 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 1: don't know where it will end up. Just reality shattering 300 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:09,160 Speaker 1: because I would never thought either would betray me like this, 301 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:10,560 Speaker 1: I forgot yeah, the friend. 302 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:14,319 Speaker 2: Well the question for the audience, and there are comments 303 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:16,400 Speaker 2: do you cut off the friend? 304 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:17,480 Speaker 1: Yeah? 305 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,480 Speaker 2: And then do you cut off the wife? Is this 306 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:23,920 Speaker 2: is this a instantly divorceable act or is it a 307 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,040 Speaker 2: therapy and then maybe a divorce. 308 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,839 Speaker 1: I think you have to do a little bit more 309 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:32,520 Speaker 1: investigating to see if this was purely just one kiss. 310 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,439 Speaker 2: If it's one kiss, If it's. 311 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 1: One kiss and she's prepenting and you cut off the friend, 312 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:40,880 Speaker 1: maybe therapy. I still think he would be in the 313 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 1: right to divorce though. 314 00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:44,559 Speaker 2: How long was this though? It seems like I. 315 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:46,439 Speaker 1: Mean, they have kids, that's the only reason. I'm like 316 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 1: they could probably. I honestly think, based off his comments 317 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:54,120 Speaker 1: that he probably won't divorce her, just because that's his vibe. 318 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:56,840 Speaker 1: He's like, you know, my wife, I trust her. I 319 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:58,600 Speaker 1: think it would he would be totally in the right 320 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:01,080 Speaker 1: to divorce her, though, because I think I feel like 321 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:02,440 Speaker 1: she's still not telling. 322 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,080 Speaker 2: That, so we think he's not going to divorce. 323 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:05,320 Speaker 1: I think he's not going to. 324 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:11,280 Speaker 2: I think he she's giving golden retriever. Think it's fine, 325 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:15,960 Speaker 2: she loves me. But could you do a poll divorce 326 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 2: or therapy divorce or therapy. I would love to note 327 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:24,600 Speaker 2: you think. I think I'm if this was me, if 328 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:27,280 Speaker 2: I was the guy and you have kids, when I 329 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:31,400 Speaker 2: have kids. I don't like liars. 330 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:32,400 Speaker 1: I don't like liars. 331 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 2: I don't like liars. I'm like a truth teller to them. 332 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 1: I'm a truther. 333 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,320 Speaker 2: I'm a truther. Yeah. 334 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,520 Speaker 1: I think if I was in this case, I may divorce, 335 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:45,600 Speaker 1: depending on what I found out, like how physical it was. 336 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,320 Speaker 1: But I don't think he will. That's my final answer. 337 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:52,280 Speaker 1: But let's keep going comments. Virtual choir boy says, First, 338 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,000 Speaker 1: look up trickle truthing. You have not yet been giving 339 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:57,800 Speaker 1: the full story. She's also going to continue to cheat 340 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,560 Speaker 1: on you. A cheater that regrets their actions wouldn't try 341 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:03,360 Speaker 1: to minimize them. Second, tell his wife. That is a 342 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,680 Speaker 1: great point I forgot. She needs to know that her 343 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,760 Speaker 1: partner is betraying her too. Third, go get a consultation 344 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:11,840 Speaker 1: with a divorce lawyer or two. Consultation doesn't mean filing. 345 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 1: It means learning what the process is like and what 346 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,400 Speaker 1: the potential outcomes are. I'm sorry you're going through this 347 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,360 Speaker 1: and there is an update four days later. Should we 348 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 1: get into it? Do you have any other thoughts before 349 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:22,800 Speaker 1: we get into it. 350 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,000 Speaker 2: I just feel like he's gonna be like, oh, like, 351 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:28,600 Speaker 2: you know, the affair is not that bad. I still 352 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,960 Speaker 2: love her, she still loves me. Yeah. Yeah, we have kids. 353 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:32,720 Speaker 2: We can work through this. 354 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so. Bubbles Marie says, if this is 355 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,640 Speaker 1: the wife's first time therapy, and see if you can 356 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 1: work through it because of kids, but probably divorce ultimately. 357 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:42,560 Speaker 1: I feel like that's where I'm at. 358 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,080 Speaker 2: Thanks Bubbles Marie. 359 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:49,240 Speaker 1: Another great advice from Bubbles Marie. But let's get into this. 360 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:52,160 Speaker 1: Update four days later, the affair wasn't as bad as 361 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,600 Speaker 1: I thought, and we're going to work through things. 362 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,120 Speaker 2: Nice, nice, very predictable. 363 00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,280 Speaker 1: I had a true heart to heart with my wife 364 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 1: two days after I learned of the emotional affair. The 365 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,160 Speaker 1: fact that he's also seeing it as an emotional affair 366 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 1: when it wasn't. It was a physical affair. 367 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:10,280 Speaker 2: They smooched, it was I guess what we're saying, physical 368 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,960 Speaker 2: affairs are full body in body. 369 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:16,040 Speaker 1: I guess he's saying that. Maybe that's his definition. I 370 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,720 Speaker 1: think a physical affair is anything that any smooching and 371 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,680 Speaker 1: anything that goes me on, any physical contact, any physical 372 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:26,680 Speaker 1: contact that comes like an office massage, Like you're in 373 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:32,120 Speaker 1: what's the setting there, you're in the office, my back, 374 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:33,960 Speaker 1: I'll give you a massage. 375 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 2: But like, there's already the emotional affair happening right now. 376 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:37,960 Speaker 1: I think that's still an emotional fair. 377 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,120 Speaker 2: They're massaging each other. 378 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,520 Speaker 1: If it's in public, it's it's in private. 379 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:45,280 Speaker 2: They're massaging each other in private. No private, but huh, 380 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,400 Speaker 2: just a back massage, like and like lower hips. 381 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:53,880 Speaker 1: Ooh, it's physical alright. 382 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,800 Speaker 2: That that's our line where we're hit massage if it. 383 00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:01,560 Speaker 1: Goes not the small but that's a physical affair. I 384 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,560 Speaker 1: had a true heart to heart with my wife two 385 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:06,080 Speaker 1: days after I learned of the emotional affair, and we 386 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:10,240 Speaker 1: are surprisingly in a really good place now. She apologized profusely, 387 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,120 Speaker 1: and her description and timeline of events is not as 388 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,480 Speaker 1: bad as I feared. It is also consistent with my 389 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,960 Speaker 1: former friend, we'll call him Roderick told me. 390 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 2: Roderick is the first day if you went through. 391 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:28,760 Speaker 1: We're talking earlier, oh, rod Rodrick told me when I 392 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,760 Speaker 1: interrogated him, and I asked him first, before my wife 393 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,199 Speaker 1: would have really had a chance to collaborate on a story. 394 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,000 Speaker 1: In the event she wanted to do so it is 395 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:38,720 Speaker 1: also consistent with what my wife's sister had told me. 396 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 1: She views me like a brother and is a true ally. 397 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:46,639 Speaker 1: The wife's sister, she's in on it. Dang As backstory, 398 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:48,320 Speaker 1: Roderick and his wife have been going through. 399 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 2: My wait wait wait wait wait, lett I sect that 400 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,439 Speaker 2: last sentence just for a second. Yeah, yeah, the sister 401 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:56,359 Speaker 2: was in on it. 402 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,720 Speaker 1: The sister was in on it and views him as 403 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:02,920 Speaker 1: an ally, so abuse him as a brother, and he's 404 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:06,480 Speaker 1: saying he's a true ally. She kept the secret. 405 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,160 Speaker 2: She kept the secret. She does not be you as 406 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:12,000 Speaker 2: a true ally, she said, definitely has you as like 407 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:16,240 Speaker 2: a like step twice removed brother if anything, and doesn't 408 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,440 Speaker 2: want to tell you doesn't. 409 00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:22,360 Speaker 1: Yeah. In the in his uh contact, it just says 410 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:28,920 Speaker 1: sister's husband that guy. As backstory, Roger and his wife 411 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,720 Speaker 1: have been going through marital issues for quite some time. 412 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,199 Speaker 1: We were aware of this. He's like, so it's like 413 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,120 Speaker 1: totally like it's not really a big deal. 414 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,120 Speaker 2: You know, he didn't even cheat on his wife. 415 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, honestly, I'm still gonna be friends with Roger. 416 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,920 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, he's like he's a good guy. 417 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:46,400 Speaker 1: About six months ago, things really went into a taialespin, 418 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,600 Speaker 1: and he started talking to my wife almost as a therapist. 419 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:52,240 Speaker 1: I know this sounds weird, but my wife is really 420 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:57,160 Speaker 1: good at listening to him. She listened so hard she. 421 00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,280 Speaker 2: Made the emotional cheating worse. 422 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 1: How oh, she does this for a bunch of friends, 423 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:06,840 Speaker 1: admittedly essentially all women. It started out like once a 424 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,399 Speaker 1: week or so, just casual therapy, you know, and gradually 425 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,080 Speaker 1: increased from there. By a couple of months ago they 426 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:17,240 Speaker 1: were talking regularly I several times a week, but still 427 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,320 Speaker 1: only covering totally PC. 428 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,600 Speaker 2: Topics he says, totally peace, totally PC. 429 00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:26,840 Speaker 1: After a couple months, they were getting into red pill 430 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 1: territory real quick. My wife's sister actually confronted my wife 431 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,159 Speaker 1: and warned her that she thought Roger had fallen for 432 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,679 Speaker 1: her and that she needed to be careful. My wife 433 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:39,360 Speaker 1: was convinced that they were just good friends. The night 434 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:42,840 Speaker 1: of the infamous date night was actually still in this period. 435 00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:45,399 Speaker 1: My wife admitted that the optics look bad, but she 436 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,360 Speaker 1: really was just having a good time and was frankly 437 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,400 Speaker 1: pretty wasted and not thinking clearly. She did say, though, 438 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:54,199 Speaker 1: that after that night she realized that he might have 439 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:57,800 Speaker 1: feelings for her, and that in retrospect, it was pretty obvious. 440 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,520 Speaker 1: Hold up, this timeline does it fit for me? Everyone's 441 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,680 Speaker 1: He's like, all the timeline works, The timeline works. He's 442 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,040 Speaker 1: saying that she didn't realize that he had feelings with 443 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,919 Speaker 1: her until the first date night that Opie talked about. 444 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:12,640 Speaker 2: But yeah, wasn't that when he discovered everything. 445 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,760 Speaker 1: Well, it sounds like he discovered it a couple of 446 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,200 Speaker 1: days later, But it seems like all of these redded 447 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,400 Speaker 1: updates were within a couple days. So if they kissed, 448 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,080 Speaker 1: you're telling me that all of that happened after the 449 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,280 Speaker 1: date night that OPI brought up. That doesn't make sense 450 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:25,480 Speaker 1: to me. 451 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:26,840 Speaker 2: No, they're definitely smooth. 452 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I think that. Nah, I'm buy it. She 453 00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,000 Speaker 1: felt bad about the date night fiasco and has been 454 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,399 Speaker 1: much better in that regard, and she also reduced her 455 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:37,720 Speaker 1: booze consumption. About six weeks ago, we went on a 456 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,960 Speaker 1: ski trip with five other families, including Roderic and his wife. 457 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:41,439 Speaker 2: It was what. 458 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,119 Speaker 1: It was a horrible trip for him, and he and 459 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,399 Speaker 1: his wife thought a lot. One of the nights, he 460 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,320 Speaker 1: got pretty wasted and asked my wife to meet him 461 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:52,960 Speaker 1: at the bar at our hotel since he needed to talk. 462 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,360 Speaker 2: Wait, wo is this is? This is before? 463 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,119 Speaker 1: This is before the date night. So I don't understand 464 00:20:59,119 --> 00:20:59,560 Speaker 1: what he says. 465 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:00,760 Speaker 2: This is for the date night. 466 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, he said about six weeks ago, and then. 467 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 2: Six weeks ago, because but this update isn't this update 468 00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:07,640 Speaker 2: like a month later? 469 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:10,200 Speaker 1: Yeah? No, this is is it? I thought this was 470 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:11,120 Speaker 1: a couple of days later. 471 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,680 Speaker 2: I'm I believe it said one month later. 472 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 1: Maybe that's why four it says four days later and 473 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,440 Speaker 1: the other update. 474 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 2: Was oh was it four days later? Only one? 475 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,960 Speaker 1: Okay? Yeah, so the second update was one month later, 476 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:25,880 Speaker 1: so that makes sense. 477 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:30,119 Speaker 2: Now. Okay, so this six weeks thing is. 478 00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:31,760 Speaker 1: It still would have been right before the date. 479 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,320 Speaker 2: Night, right before the date night. Yeah. 480 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,760 Speaker 1: I don't think he's doing the math. Okay, Okay, Well 481 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,359 Speaker 1: there he told her that he loved her and wished 482 00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 1: that he had married her rather than his wife. That's 483 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,240 Speaker 1: a pretty big emotional affair. 484 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,920 Speaker 2: At least on his end. Yeah, and he's just saying that. 485 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:50,600 Speaker 1: She's just saying that. If she said I love you too, yeah, 486 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,880 Speaker 1: then we're in hot water. My wife just told him 487 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,520 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Okay. I had been putting the kids to 488 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 1: bed when this went down and came down and inadvertently 489 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 1: interrupted them right after they said this. I do remember 490 00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:06,080 Speaker 1: some weird vibes in retrospect. My wife admitted she should 491 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:09,440 Speaker 1: have told me right then and there. Yes, absolutely, she's 492 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:10,120 Speaker 1: done nothing. 493 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,280 Speaker 2: Wrong right now, she hasn't done she I mean as 494 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:15,080 Speaker 2: soon as she I think as soon as you don't 495 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:18,240 Speaker 2: tell your partner that, then you're done something. 496 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,199 Speaker 1: Wrong exactly, but that she didn't want to blow up 497 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,240 Speaker 1: the trip for the whole friend group. You already it's 498 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,240 Speaker 1: too late, dude, as if she told me she was 499 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,160 Speaker 1: worried that I might make a scene. He then didn't 500 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,720 Speaker 1: say anything problematic for another week or two, and she 501 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,239 Speaker 1: chalked it up to him just being really wasted and 502 00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:35,119 Speaker 1: really sad and hoped things could just go back. 503 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,480 Speaker 2: To dude, that she's lying, she's lying fool online. I 504 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:40,800 Speaker 2: feel like she feels something. 505 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,080 Speaker 1: She absolutely, I mean, like, well, we know that she 506 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,679 Speaker 1: feels something because I mean, you know. Second update, she 507 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 1: admitted to having an emotional affair. Unfortunately, Roderick's marriage took 508 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,119 Speaker 1: a turn for the worst about a month ago, and 509 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:54,119 Speaker 1: it seems pretty clear that they're going to get divorced. 510 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:57,280 Speaker 1: My wife, who suffers from severe depression, also went into 511 00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,280 Speaker 1: a depressive period around this time, in large part due 512 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,399 Speaker 1: to some familial issues. I feel like that's not the 513 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:07,160 Speaker 1: only reason. Feel like it's pretty tied with Roderick. He's 514 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,400 Speaker 1: like it was at the same time, But like she said, 515 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,320 Speaker 1: it wasn't that. She said it had nothing. 516 00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:12,920 Speaker 2: To do with that. It definitely does. 517 00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:16,119 Speaker 1: This was timed very poorly, as I recently launched a 518 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 1: new division at my company and have been working sixty 519 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 1: hour weeks for the last three months or so. Both 520 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 1: Roderick and my wife felt isolated and lonely, and Roderick 521 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:27,639 Speaker 1: started calling my wife virtually every day. They also started 522 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:31,240 Speaker 1: grabbing lunch once or twice a week after he admitted 523 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:32,440 Speaker 1: that he was in love with her. 524 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:33,400 Speaker 2: Well, she's into it. 525 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,920 Speaker 1: She's so into it, so into it, she wants it. 526 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,760 Speaker 1: I guess he would meet her for lunch on his 527 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,360 Speaker 1: lunch break. The vast majority of their interaction was them 528 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:44,320 Speaker 1: talking about life, but he started saying inappropriate things in person, 529 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:48,119 Speaker 1: like you're the most beautiful woman I know, or you're gorgeous. 530 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 1: Of course he's already said the most inappropriate thing. He 531 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:53,600 Speaker 1: said he was in love with her. 532 00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean the red flag is just getting better. 533 00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,440 Speaker 2: That she's not leaving. Yeah. 534 00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:00,600 Speaker 1: He also started drinking heavily, and he would send suggestive 535 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,399 Speaker 1: text when drinking, which my wife claims she would just ignore. 536 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,720 Speaker 1: The time he kissed her, I was actually home Bold, 537 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:08,760 Speaker 1: The three of us have been hanging out and I 538 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,080 Speaker 1: went to use the restroom. Bold. 539 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,200 Speaker 2: Oh my god, she she yeah. 540 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,320 Speaker 1: I asked her why she didn't tell me or shut 541 00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,280 Speaker 1: things down, and she admitted it was a mixture of 542 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,520 Speaker 1: not wanting to blow up our friend group, plus her 543 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:23,600 Speaker 1: enjoying the attention and compliments even if she had no 544 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:27,119 Speaker 1: interest in the guy. You gotta have a little interest, 545 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,920 Speaker 1: Like I'm sure it is for the intentional compliments, but like, 546 00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:31,800 Speaker 1: gotta have a little interest. 547 00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:35,400 Speaker 2: Well, it's like you don't just like compliments from anyone. No, 548 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:37,200 Speaker 2: like some people so many. 549 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:39,360 Speaker 1: Compliments a You're like this, it's weird. But you get 550 00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:40,159 Speaker 1: compliments from. 551 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:43,120 Speaker 2: That guy, and you're like, let's go win. 552 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 1: She chuckled a little bit when I asked if she 553 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:48,239 Speaker 1: had slept with him. For reference, Roger is probably one 554 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,480 Speaker 1: hundred and fifty pounds overweight, which is one of the 555 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,199 Speaker 1: major strains in his marriage, whereas my wife is a 556 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:57,840 Speaker 1: true tenet of ten shosh Basically, she was depressed, needed 557 00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:59,720 Speaker 1: someone to talk to, and since I was so busy 558 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,400 Speaker 1: with she found that emotional support elsewhere. 559 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:07,040 Speaker 2: I guess that's maybe why he felt so comfortable leaving 560 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:10,719 Speaker 2: his wife and Roderick alone, is because he was like, bro, 561 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:14,639 Speaker 2: there's no way, there's no way, and bad wife is 562 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:18,919 Speaker 2: going to hook up with Grig who has not taken 563 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,159 Speaker 2: the best care of his himself. 564 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,359 Speaker 1: Which is just I mean, yeah, maybe that's why he's 565 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,200 Speaker 1: so blind. 566 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:28,000 Speaker 2: But he's neglecting the vibe, the vibe. 567 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:30,200 Speaker 1: You can vibe with freaking anyone man. 568 00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:32,960 Speaker 2: You can vibe, and you know people often will take 569 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:34,160 Speaker 2: vibe over good luck. 570 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:37,720 Speaker 1: It's true anyday, any day, any day. She admits that 571 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,879 Speaker 1: it was really wrong and has agreed to take a 572 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,199 Speaker 1: bunch of actions to prevent this in the future. For me, 573 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,760 Speaker 1: I still struggle with why she would do some of this. 574 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:47,200 Speaker 1: If he texts that you should come over and join 575 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,840 Speaker 1: him in the shower, and you respond, why don't we 576 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,679 Speaker 1: do a lunch date instead? From my view, that's pouring 577 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,600 Speaker 1: ghasolene on a fire by showing you still want to 578 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:56,200 Speaker 1: meet with him. 579 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,840 Speaker 2: Is that a real part of the text conversation. 580 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:02,760 Speaker 1: Yes, Like I don't know, like if he texts all 581 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:05,359 Speaker 1: he wants you to join in the shower and you 582 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,919 Speaker 1: still want to hang out, it's not like maybe not 583 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:11,560 Speaker 1: the best thing. Ezekiel twenty three says the spicy sleep 584 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:14,480 Speaker 1: strike really didn't come into the story at all. I 585 00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,720 Speaker 1: feel like, OHP just wasn't realizing that that was a 586 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,040 Speaker 1: problem in like an actual problem in their marriage. 587 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:25,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I think he was secure, Yeah, maybe too secure. 588 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:28,000 Speaker 1: Where she thought she was steering things away from problematic situations. 589 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,840 Speaker 1: Something shady can't happen in a public setting. She said 590 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:32,760 Speaker 1: he came by the house a couple of times during 591 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,480 Speaker 1: the day, including once when her son was home with her, 592 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,639 Speaker 1: but that she really tried to steer things to public 593 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:40,320 Speaker 1: settings once she knew he loved her. It also does 594 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:42,280 Speaker 1: hurt a bit that in one of the texts, Roger 595 00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:44,639 Speaker 1: asked if they could do a lunch date and she says, no, 596 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:48,400 Speaker 1: my husband me is working from home today with a 597 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,640 Speaker 1: sad face. But we're going to make it work. We're 598 00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:54,040 Speaker 1: going to do couples therapy and she wants to do 599 00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:57,240 Speaker 1: individual therapy, and she also started working part time to 600 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,320 Speaker 1: keep her busy on something else. We can't go fully 601 00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:04,520 Speaker 1: non contact with Roderick. Why not? Why not? I think 602 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,720 Speaker 1: you have to go fully no contact because I love him. 603 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:11,840 Speaker 1: I love him, daddy, but now all communication has to 604 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,959 Speaker 1: include me. I'm also going to work on being more 605 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,880 Speaker 1: emotionally present, even when working a ton, and I told 606 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,160 Speaker 1: her that if she's having a depressive episode and needs 607 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:21,320 Speaker 1: to talk to someone, she could always call me. 608 00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, the problem is me, this is what, this is, 609 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,960 Speaker 2: what's happening. Though He's like, it was really my fault. 610 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,199 Speaker 1: I realized that she was right. I wasn't there for 611 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 1: her and that's why she cheated on me with Roderick. 612 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:35,280 Speaker 1: And honestly, I also realized Roderick's not that bad of 613 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:35,640 Speaker 1: a gun. 614 00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:37,800 Speaker 2: Yeah. And also I mean, like he might be one 615 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,720 Speaker 2: hundred and fifty pounds overweight, but he's still looking. 616 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,560 Speaker 1: Fresh, look in fresh as head. More of him the 617 00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,560 Speaker 1: love she was afraid to call during the day since 618 00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:49,280 Speaker 1: I'm very busy and would call Rodrick instead. I also 619 00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:52,240 Speaker 1: promised to work on being happier and more positive. I'm 620 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,680 Speaker 1: usually a very cheerful person, which is something she loved 621 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:57,120 Speaker 1: about me. Not enough, I guess, but I had been 622 00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,639 Speaker 1: pretty grumpy and miserable over the last few months due 623 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,160 Speaker 1: to my job being crazy, So a little blame does 624 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,359 Speaker 1: rest with me. I'm certainly not perfect, although I'd never 625 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:08,840 Speaker 1: cheat on my partner. Oh he's putting so he's saying, oh, 626 00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,000 Speaker 1: a little blame, But he's putting all of the blame 627 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:11,640 Speaker 1: on himself. 628 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,440 Speaker 2: He's just trying to be the best husband he can be. 629 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,200 Speaker 1: It's a bummerman. I know most of you will probably 630 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,480 Speaker 1: roll your eyes and say I'm being a pushover. 631 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:22,560 Speaker 2: No, he wouldn't do that. He would We would never 632 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:22,879 Speaker 2: do that. 633 00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:28,359 Speaker 1: We would never do to be a push we would 634 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,640 Speaker 1: have to push you over a fell over. But none 635 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:34,000 Speaker 1: of you know how amazing my wife is. She has 636 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 1: a magnetic personality and it's the life of a party. 637 00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,000 Speaker 1: She's also one of the most brilliant people I have 638 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,920 Speaker 1: ever met. She's a great mom and my best friend. 639 00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:45,600 Speaker 1: And finally, she's a bombshell when she's dolled up. Most 640 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:48,120 Speaker 1: heads turn when she enters a room. If you've ever 641 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:51,600 Speaker 1: seen wedding crashers, she is in both personality and appearance 642 00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 1: early similar to Isla Fisher's is It Isla Okay? Character, 643 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,160 Speaker 1: although she's better looking than her. I honestly can't blame 644 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,520 Speaker 1: Rogerick for but I can blame him and call him 645 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:05,720 Speaker 1: a piece of crap for acting on it. Dumb maybe, 646 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:08,120 Speaker 1: but my wife is too amazing to let go over 647 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 1: this without a fight, especially when she seems committed to 648 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:14,520 Speaker 1: fixing things and actually apologetic, including for getting defensive the 649 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:20,280 Speaker 1: night I discovered it. Yeah, there are some comments, but 650 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,840 Speaker 1: it really feels like this guy is like, you know, 651 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:24,680 Speaker 1: maybe he's not like the hottest person in the world, 652 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,280 Speaker 1: and he's like, my wife is so hot that she 653 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:28,760 Speaker 1: can do anything. 654 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,720 Speaker 2: I don't care. I'm not gonna let that thing go 655 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:33,000 Speaker 2: just because she cheated. 656 00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:36,440 Speaker 1: Cheat. What's cheating between the hot people? 657 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not that hot people get the cheat as 658 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:40,160 Speaker 2: much as they want. 659 00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:44,400 Speaker 1: Apparently in this story, man, this is this is exactly 660 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:49,479 Speaker 1: what I expected. No, that he was gonna stay with her. 661 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we called. 662 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:53,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, that was so obvious, and he's so chill with it, 663 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:57,320 Speaker 1: and there's still I'm just shocked that they're still hanging 664 00:29:57,320 --> 00:29:59,440 Speaker 1: out with Roger He's like, oh, well, we can't cut ties, 665 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:01,960 Speaker 1: and I'm assuming something it's along. 666 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:05,640 Speaker 2: The lines are too strong the drug. 667 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,360 Speaker 1: You can't cut those vibes. No, but I'm assuming that 668 00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,080 Speaker 1: it's because they're in a similar friend group because they said, oh, 669 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,760 Speaker 1: we're all like connected. But I think you could still 670 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:14,360 Speaker 1: cut him off. 671 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh so A honey Bee eighty five says, if 672 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,760 Speaker 2: she can't respect him enough to stay faithful, how hot 673 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:20,760 Speaker 2: she is doesn't matter. 674 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:24,000 Speaker 1: I agree, and like to be clear, I agree. I 675 00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:25,680 Speaker 1: just think this is why he's staying. 676 00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,160 Speaker 2: But uh, but you don't know how hot she is? 677 00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:29,680 Speaker 2: You don't, Yeah, don't. You don't know. 678 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:30,680 Speaker 1: You don't, so you can't. 679 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:32,600 Speaker 2: I don't think you get it. 680 00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:35,640 Speaker 1: Right now, we're dealing with hypothetical. Yeah, we've never seen hot. 681 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:36,920 Speaker 2: No. 682 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:40,760 Speaker 1: I totally agree. It's purely it's just makes sense why 683 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,840 Speaker 1: he's still here. But there are some comments. Advanced Vanilla 684 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:46,880 Speaker 1: sixty seven threes just says, rolled eyes. 685 00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:48,520 Speaker 2: That's all it needs to be said. 686 00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:52,760 Speaker 1: Simple short speed performed otter says, your wife has obviously 687 00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 1: been having spicy sleep with them and is not even 688 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:58,040 Speaker 1: nearly as great as you think she is. She doesn't 689 00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,200 Speaker 1: respect you, nor is she truly in love with you. 690 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,880 Speaker 1: She might love you, but she isn't in love at 691 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:06,280 Speaker 1: least not anymore. And there is an update three months later,