WEBVTT - Second Cup: Prepare for a grief anniversary

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is that you can prepare in advance for grief anniversaries.

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<v Speaker 1>By proactively planning in things that will lift your spirits,

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<v Speaker 1>you can make the day slightly less rough. I came

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<v Speaker 1>across today's tip because I follow Mary Catherine Hamm's Instagram account.

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<v Speaker 1>This journalist and commentator is known for many things, but

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<v Speaker 1>in addition to her political writing, she has shared a

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<v Speaker 1>lot about losing her first husband seven years ago. He

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<v Speaker 1>died in a bicycle accident, leaving her with one little

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<v Speaker 1>girl and another on the way. In an Instagram reel, recently,

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<v Speaker 1>she talked about this seventh anniversary. The thing about losing

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<v Speaker 1>someone on a particular day, or a traumatic event on

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<v Speaker 1>a particular day, if you have one in your life,

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<v Speaker 1>as you're bound to at some point, is that the

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<v Speaker 1>calendar is going to come back around. She noted when

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<v Speaker 1>that happens, be prepared for it. She went on to say,

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<v Speaker 1>you know the date is coming, you know you're dreading

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<v Speaker 1>it at least early on in your grief, and you

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<v Speaker 1>should set up a situation for yourself Mary Catherine planned

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<v Speaker 1>a nice lunch with several friends on her grief anniversary

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<v Speaker 1>as a way to make sure she had something on

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<v Speaker 1>the day to look forward to instead of just dreading

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<v Speaker 1>the day. I think this is an incredibly wise idea.

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<v Speaker 1>The calendar does come back around again every year we

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<v Speaker 1>note the anniversary of all the days that shaped us,

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<v Speaker 1>and yes, over time, some of the grief changes form.

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<v Speaker 1>Mary Catherine Ham remarried a few years ago and had

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<v Speaker 1>another baby last year, and so I am sure the

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<v Speaker 1>shape of the grief is different than it was in

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<v Speaker 1>the first year, but still whatever shape it takes, it

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<v Speaker 1>will always be there. You are highly unlikely to forget

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<v Speaker 1>the date. Not everyone in your life will remember it

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<v Speaker 1>as you will, and you can't always count on other

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<v Speaker 1>people to observe it and take care of you. You

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<v Speaker 1>need to take care of yourself. So if you've got

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<v Speaker 1>a grief anniversary in your life, think about what truly

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<v Speaker 1>makes you happy. What could you plan into your life

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<v Speaker 1>for that day so that you will feel loved, What

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<v Speaker 1>will make you feel like there are still good things

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<v Speaker 1>in this world. Reach out to your friends. Your closest

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<v Speaker 1>ones will welcome the opportunity to help on that grief anniversary.

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<v Speaker 1>They may want to help, they just probably don't know

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<v Speaker 1>what to do. So think about things that make you smile.

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<v Speaker 1>What would you genuinely enjoy? Get one or two of

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<v Speaker 1>those things on the calendar. What this can do is

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<v Speaker 1>temper some of the dread the day might otherwise conjure up.

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<v Speaker 1>There will be something on that day to look forward to.

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<v Speaker 1>You won't be alone if you don't want to be.

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<v Speaker 1>Life can be tough, especially if you are grieving, but

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<v Speaker 1>figuring out how to spend your grief anniversary in a

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<v Speaker 1>way that will make you feel taken care of is

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<v Speaker 1>one of the best gifts you can give yourself. Then

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<v Speaker 1>you can continue to show up for the other people

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<v Speaker 1>in your life in the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks

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<v Speaker 1>for listening, and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod

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<v Speaker 1>that's b E the number four then breakfast Pod. You

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<v Speaker 1>can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast Podcasts

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<v Speaker 1>at iHeartMedia dot com. That Before Breakfast is spelled out

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<v Speaker 1>with all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I look

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<v Speaker 1>forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production

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<v Speaker 1>of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,

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