1 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:09,120 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:16,760 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 1: tip is that you can prepare in advance for grief anniversaries. 4 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:28,080 Speaker 1: By proactively planning in things that will lift your spirits, 5 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:35,080 Speaker 1: you can make the day slightly less rough. I came 6 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:40,239 Speaker 1: across today's tip because I follow Mary Catherine Hamm's Instagram account. 7 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:44,600 Speaker 1: This journalist and commentator is known for many things, but 8 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:48,239 Speaker 1: in addition to her political writing, she has shared a 9 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:53,200 Speaker 1: lot about losing her first husband seven years ago. He 10 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 1: died in a bicycle accident, leaving her with one little 11 00:00:56,720 --> 00:01:03,040 Speaker 1: girl and another on the way. In an Instagram reel, recently, 12 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:07,880 Speaker 1: she talked about this seventh anniversary. The thing about losing 13 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: someone on a particular day, or a traumatic event on 14 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,119 Speaker 1: a particular day, if you have one in your life, 15 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 1: as you're bound to at some point, is that the 16 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:23,199 Speaker 1: calendar is going to come back around. She noted when 17 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 1: that happens, be prepared for it. She went on to say, 18 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 1: you know the date is coming, you know you're dreading 19 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:35,679 Speaker 1: it at least early on in your grief, and you 20 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:40,319 Speaker 1: should set up a situation for yourself Mary Catherine planned 21 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:43,440 Speaker 1: a nice lunch with several friends on her grief anniversary 22 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:46,679 Speaker 1: as a way to make sure she had something on 23 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 1: the day to look forward to instead of just dreading 24 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:55,920 Speaker 1: the day. I think this is an incredibly wise idea. 25 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 1: The calendar does come back around again every year we 26 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:06,520 Speaker 1: note the anniversary of all the days that shaped us, 27 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:12,080 Speaker 1: and yes, over time, some of the grief changes form. 28 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,919 Speaker 1: Mary Catherine Ham remarried a few years ago and had 29 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:20,320 Speaker 1: another baby last year, and so I am sure the 30 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:23,520 Speaker 1: shape of the grief is different than it was in 31 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:29,200 Speaker 1: the first year, but still whatever shape it takes, it 32 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 1: will always be there. You are highly unlikely to forget 33 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 1: the date. Not everyone in your life will remember it 34 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,919 Speaker 1: as you will, and you can't always count on other 35 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 1: people to observe it and take care of you. You 36 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:52,560 Speaker 1: need to take care of yourself. So if you've got 37 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 1: a grief anniversary in your life, think about what truly 38 00:02:56,639 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 1: makes you happy. What could you plan into your life 39 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,960 Speaker 1: for that day so that you will feel loved, What 40 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 1: will make you feel like there are still good things 41 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:12,680 Speaker 1: in this world. Reach out to your friends. Your closest 42 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: ones will welcome the opportunity to help on that grief anniversary. 43 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 1: They may want to help, they just probably don't know 44 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:24,920 Speaker 1: what to do. So think about things that make you smile. 45 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:30,360 Speaker 1: What would you genuinely enjoy? Get one or two of 46 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 1: those things on the calendar. What this can do is 47 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:39,560 Speaker 1: temper some of the dread the day might otherwise conjure up. 48 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 1: There will be something on that day to look forward to. 49 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:48,320 Speaker 1: You won't be alone if you don't want to be. 50 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 1: Life can be tough, especially if you are grieving, but 51 00:03:56,080 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 1: figuring out how to spend your grief anniversary in a 52 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 1: way that will make you feel taken care of is 53 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:08,200 Speaker 1: one of the best gifts you can give yourself. Then 54 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:12,240 Speaker 1: you can continue to show up for the other people 55 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:19,479 Speaker 1: in your life in the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks 56 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 1: for listening, and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, 57 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,680 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me 58 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:43,359 Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with 59 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod 60 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 1: that's b E the number four then breakfast Pod. You 61 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:57,240 Speaker 1: can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast Podcasts 62 00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 1: at iHeartMedia dot com. That Before Breakfast is spelled out 63 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,160 Speaker 1: with all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I look 64 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:11,480 Speaker 1: forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production 65 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:16,919 Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, 66 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.