Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central m.
Speaker 2: From New York City, the only city in America. It's
Speaker 2: the show that intented news. This is the Daily Show
Speaker 2: with your host No need Jack.
Speaker 3: Thank you that you welcome to the Daily Show. I'm
Speaker 3: on Chang and I'm a guess hosting. Thank you, Thank you,
Speaker 3: thank you. Let's go. We got show. We got a show.
Speaker 3: I'm right Chang and I'm guest hosting for one day only.
Speaker 3: Dreams do come true. I just want to thank the
Speaker 3: network for believing in me for twenty three minutes only.
Speaker 3: We've got a great show for you tonight. So let's
Speaker 3: get into the headlines. Let's have the big news. Who
Speaker 3: are apparently close to a truce in the Middle East.
Speaker 3: That's right. I accomplish what no other daily show hosts could. Sure,
Speaker 3: maybe if you gave me a job permanently, I could
Speaker 3: solve this. But for now, here's what you get this morning.
Speaker 4: A breakthrough in the hostage negotiations is closer than it's
Speaker 4: ever been, US officials say. Multiple news reports quoting Hamas
Speaker 4: and Israeli officials are this morning outlining a possible deal,
Speaker 4: a multi day ceasefire with at least fifty Israeli and
Speaker 4: international hostages freed in waves, with more to follow, and
Speaker 4: Palestinians detained in Israel, women and children released in exchange.
Speaker 3: Yes, some good news. I mean it's not great news,
Speaker 3: but it's the Middle East, so we'll take it. But
Speaker 3: that's right. Is Royan Hamas are close to temporary truce.
Speaker 3: Israel will stop bombing for a few days, and Hamas
Speaker 3: will release some of the hostages, specifically women, children, and
Speaker 3: one guy who is just really really annoying. This guy
Speaker 3: won't show the podcast came out of here. Still, for
Speaker 3: the hostages who are being released, I just want to
Speaker 3: say congratulations, and I want to prepare you. Andre three
Speaker 3: thousand has a flute album now. But uh, let's stop
Speaker 3: talking about the war and stop talking about something else
Speaker 3: that could destroy the world. Artificial intelligence. Yeah, and I
Speaker 3: know everyone has been freaking out about this new technology,
Speaker 3: but don't worry. The people in charge of it obviously
Speaker 3: have everything under control.
Speaker 5: This morning, an open revolt inside open ai, the company
Speaker 5: behind the groundbreaking artificial intelligence chatbot known as chat GPT,
Speaker 5: just days after the company's board of directors fired at
Speaker 5: CEO Sam Altman, claiming he had not been candid in
Speaker 5: communications with them, under twenty five out of the approximately
Speaker 5: seven hundred and seventy employees signing a letter attacking the
Speaker 5: board's competence and threatening to quit if Altmant is not reinstated.
Speaker 3: Wow, the CEO of open Ai got fired and all
Speaker 3: the employees threatened to go with him. I mean, these
Speaker 3: startups are such cults. Who cares that much about that boss?
Speaker 3: I mean, Trevor quit right in front of me, and
Speaker 3: I didn't do shit. I was like, all right, man,
Speaker 3: I'll see you later. You're not supposed to care about
Speaker 3: your boss.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: No bus boy at Red Lobster's committing supuku because that
Speaker 3: manager got canned Asian references. That's what I'm here for.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's also ironic that the people creating technology
Speaker 3: that's going to destroy everyone's jobs are also fighting so
Speaker 3: hot to save one guy's job. Seeing Ted Bundy perform CPR. Also,
Speaker 3: the word'st top ai company is not the place you
Speaker 3: want to hear that people are fighting over philosophical differences.
Speaker 3: The stakes are too high, all right, It's fine when
Speaker 3: Ben and Jerry fight. I mean, worst case scenario, I
Speaker 3: get raisins in my chunky monkey.
Speaker 1: Okay, with AI.
Speaker 3: It's more like, Hey, am I gonna have a robot
Speaker 3: sex slave? Or am I gonna be the robot sex slave?
Speaker 3: I mean, just to be clear, I'm cool with you.
Speaker 3: The one I just want to know. The crazy thing
Speaker 3: is we still don't know why they fired him. I mean,
Speaker 3: my working theory is that humans from the future Resistance
Speaker 3: came back in time to fire this guy before he
Speaker 3: could destroy the world. Swasenaga shows up, like you are terminated,
Speaker 3: put your things in this box. It's always tough to
Speaker 3: do this during the holidays. And finally, let's talk about Thanksgiving,
Speaker 3: which I still can't believe is a real holiday. I
Speaker 3: asked someone what happens on Thanksgiving and he said, well,
Speaker 3: we all get together and eat, and I was like,
Speaker 3: so it's dinner and it is. Thanksgiving is when Americans
Speaker 3: clog up airports and outeries. But maybe this year times
Speaker 3: are changing.
Speaker 5: This morning, with Thanksgiving just days away, the new wave
Speaker 5: of prescription weight loss medications are altering how many will
Speaker 5: approach their holiday eating. With the average American consuming more
Speaker 5: than twice they're recommended daily calories on a typical Thanksgiving Day,
Speaker 5: Drugs like ozempeic, wagovie and Munjaro can be a game
Speaker 5: changer for those battling with obesity. Doctor suggests if you're
Speaker 5: taking these medications, be prepared to manage your feasting expectations.
Speaker 3: They enable people to have a couple of bites and
Speaker 3: then say I don't need to eat a large portion
Speaker 3: of this. That was enough. This is the most American
Speaker 3: story ever. Big Fama created a drug to help Americans
Speaker 3: eat less, and now they're having anxiety over what they're
Speaker 3: going to do on the eating holiday. Although I will
Speaker 3: say ozempic is great for people whose parents can't cook. Okay,
Speaker 3: I mean no, Mom, I'm not hungry because of the Ozmpic.
Speaker 3: It's not because your dry turkey tastes like shit. And
Speaker 3: it's good when you can get past the binge eating
Speaker 3: and focus on the real meaning of Thanksgiving, friends, family,
Speaker 3: and remembering the time the Pilgrims and the Native Americans
Speaker 3: shared a meal and wash the Super Bowl and nothing
Speaker 3: bad ever happened after that. Ever, for more on this
Speaker 3: ozempic Thanksgiving, let's go live to Michael Costa. Michael Michael,
Speaker 3: how will ozembic affect Thanksgiving this year?
Speaker 6: Well, it definitely comes with its own problems. If everyone
Speaker 6: in the family is eating less. That means most of
Speaker 6: the food is going to waste unless you take it
Speaker 6: to the homeless shelter. But come on, that's like a
Speaker 6: twenty minute drive.
Speaker 3: Okay, but I mean, I guess the family could just
Speaker 3: make less food.
Speaker 1: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not go that far.
Speaker 6: Okay, there's actually a much better solution. Gluttonol.
Speaker 1: It's a new.
Speaker 6: Drug that dramatically increases your appetite during the twenty four
Speaker 6: hours of Thanksgiving. You inject o zepic into your thigh,
Speaker 6: You inject Gluttonol into your neck, and boom your deep
Speaker 6: throat in Aunt Karen's fingerlings all night long.
Speaker 3: Yeah okay, but isn't that going to help your metabolism? Oh?
Speaker 6: Yeah, big time. If only there was a drug that
Speaker 6: could fix that.
Speaker 1: Well, guess what it's called. Composo.
Speaker 6: You pop a couple of these pills up your butt,
Speaker 6: and your metabolism is even out for the day.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, hold on, hold on, Costa, you're putting these
Speaker 3: drugs up your butt at Thanksgiving table. Won't that win
Speaker 3: on your family?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 6: Oh it will, which is why you'll have to drug
Speaker 6: your family. Introducing Happy Narrow It sends everyone's oxytocin levels
Speaker 6: through the roof. Just slip a tablespoon of this in
Speaker 6: the gravy boat and let the hugging begin.
Speaker 3: Okay, Wait, isn't oxytocin the whole moon that makes people horny?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 6: Yeah, a family orgy is a possible side of them,
Speaker 6: which is why you need demarolin. Just put a few
Speaker 6: drops in your eyes and voila, you're as flaccid and
Speaker 6: dry as Grandma's brisket. Now you do have to take
Speaker 6: at the same time as the butt pills, otherwise you'll.
Speaker 3: Die, Okay, because not stop. Okay, this is dumb instill
Speaker 3: people taking all these drugs. Why can't they just not
Speaker 3: eat as much?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 6: Oh, I'm so sorry that some of us need a
Speaker 6: little help to eat less and then eat more and
Speaker 6: then talk to our family without having sex with them.
Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, I'm I'm sorry. Okay, I guess I just
Speaker 3: wish there was a way people could enjoy life without
Speaker 3: putting drugs in the veins and up the butts.
Speaker 6: Well, there is Ronnie introducing cocaine.
Speaker 3: Cocaine is one of the butts, not Michael pox.
Speaker 1: I'll be way, hey, say something for me.
Speaker 3: All right, when we come back, we find out how
Speaker 3: Donald Trump manages all his court gates. So don't go away.
Speaker 3: Welcome back to damn Shaw. Let's talk about the only
Speaker 3: man who's seen more court time than Lebron Donald Trump. Yesterday,
Speaker 3: his lawyers asked the court to release him from a
Speaker 3: gag order so he can called the judge of Fat
Speaker 3: Mexican or something. But that's just one of his four
Speaker 3: billion court cases. And you might be wondering how is
Speaker 3: Trump able to juggle all these court appointments and run
Speaker 3: for president at the same time. Luckily we found the
Speaker 3: guy who helped him do it.
Speaker 6: Donald Trump has another court date on the calendar after
Speaker 6: pleading not guilty for the third time in four months.
Speaker 3: God damn it, another lawsuit. My name is Barnaby Dirk
Speaker 3: and I am Donald Trump's official scheduler, and I want
Speaker 3: to die. I have a color coded system that falls
Speaker 3: apart every ten minutes. But red is for state court prep,
Speaker 3: blue is for federal court cases, Yellow is New York
Speaker 3: City court cases. Purple is for a time he spends
Speaker 3: with his kids. But I also use it for fraud
Speaker 3: charge cases because they basically overlap. Then each morning I
Speaker 3: input a daily schedule into a comedy electro monthly calendar
Speaker 3: from the nineties, so President Trump actually reads it. Thing,
Speaker 3: Please don't ask me about ketchup states.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, sure, we can put a.
Speaker 3: Deposition on the books, but could you just please remind
Speaker 3: me what day comes between Tuesday and Wednesday? Oh really, Well,
Speaker 3: then I guess we'll have to invent one to fit
Speaker 3: it in, won't we, you freaking asshole. I've kept schedules
Speaker 3: for CEOs types of industry that nextum guy. It's never
Speaker 3: been a problem, no matter how much they get sued
Speaker 3: or how many secret families they have. But this is
Speaker 3: like nothing.
Speaker 1: I've done before.
Speaker 3: Sometimes I have to get creative about scheduling two things
Speaker 3: at once. Like one time, mister Trump had a round
Speaker 3: of golf that he refused to cancel, but he also
Speaker 3: had to bury his x ye Evana, so I figured
Speaker 3: out how to have him at both places at once.
Speaker 2: There are reports that Ivanna will be buried in New
Speaker 2: Jersey on the grounds of the Trump National Golf Course
Speaker 2: in Bedminster.
Speaker 3: I want to go to calendar for that. It's my
Speaker 3: profession's top award because you can see sometimes after scheduled
Speaker 3: down to the minute when he's going for the court case.
Speaker 3: Bathroom breaks when he comes out, when he stands outside
Speaker 3: and goes on a rant about how the stenographer is
Speaker 3: rigging a case, or that the clerk really wants to
Speaker 3: bone him or something. I haven't left this building in
Speaker 3: six months. I pretty much live on Logan Paul's energy
Speaker 3: drinker and Don Junior's.
Speaker 1: Left over coke.
Speaker 3: I think I have kids. Do I have kids? I
Speaker 3: don't remember, but I dream about the day when there's
Speaker 3: nothing left to schedule.
Speaker 1: I did it.
Speaker 3: I scheduled at all.
Speaker 1: A former president Trump now has another court date. I'm
Speaker 1: Dougley sat in Washington. We'll have you now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, money for.
Speaker 1: Pleas.
Speaker 3: Wow, that guy's him cool. When we get back, John
Speaker 3: Oliver will be joined me on the show, So don't
Speaker 3: go away.
Speaker 7: Welcome back to.
Speaker 3: The Daily Show. My guest tonight is a former failed
Speaker 3: correspondent at the Daily Show. He's done nothing since then.
Speaker 3: Please welcome mister John Oliver alone.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's right, that's right.
Speaker 3: We get it enough for enough.
Speaker 1: I agree with you more than I agree with them.
Speaker 3: Well, well, wells come crawling back? Yes, yes, I started.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 8: It's pretty weird to be back I do not like
Speaker 8: being in that guest room at all. That was the
Speaker 8: one room where I worked here. You were not allowed
Speaker 8: to go in, and I don't like being in it now.
Speaker 8: It feels like I'm doing something wrong by being inside it.
Speaker 3: You never you never snuck in to see a guess.
Speaker 1: No no, no no no no no no.
Speaker 8: And we were we were never allowed to really be
Speaker 8: in there because it had to be kept nice for
Speaker 8: the guests, and it never really occurred to me one
Speaker 8: day I might be that and I still don't feel
Speaker 8: so put my bag in there and then stood in
Speaker 8: the corridor for the rest.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be in there at all.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this person pretty much my memories. You were here,
Speaker 3: You were in this building.
Speaker 1: I was very much in this building. Yeah, I was.
Speaker 1: This was This was the reason I came to America,
Speaker 1: and I was here for eight years. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Same, Yeah, that's why. That's why I was so happy
Speaker 3: you came home. Because we people don't know by looking
Speaker 3: at us, but we actually have very similar backgrounds because
Speaker 3: we both joined the show. I moved to America to
Speaker 3: do the show, just like you. And when I first
Speaker 3: joined the show, you know, the Daily Show Alumni Network
Speaker 3: is so strong. I asked to meet up with mister Oliver. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and I thought mister Oliver, and I think he was
Speaker 3: mister Alli. I was like, there's no way this guy's
Speaker 3: going to let me meet up with him. And you
Speaker 3: were like, no, come, come before work.
Speaker 8: There's nothing there's nothing I like more than talking to
Speaker 8: people who have questions about how to make field peace. Yeah,
Speaker 8: because it's the it's that it's such a narrow set
Speaker 8: of skills. Yes, and all you had, all of your
Speaker 8: questions were great. I was I remember you leaving and thinking, oh,
Speaker 8: you're going to be fine even though you don't have
Speaker 8: the answers yet, all your questions are right, So you're
Speaker 8: going to be fine.
Speaker 1: You do have a problem, I will say before.
Speaker 8: Before we make it too sincere, you do have that
Speaker 8: unique skill set of not minding being a dict to
Speaker 8: people that.
Speaker 1: Really at the end of that is the secret source.
Speaker 3: Well, that's that is the I mean, you know, you
Speaker 3: have to really not care to do satire sometimes, and
Speaker 3: everyone's like people, I don't even people know how much
Speaker 3: you don't give off. Yes, you truly don't give off
Speaker 3: hard in.
Speaker 1: The marrow of my bones.
Speaker 8: Sometimes when our lawyers say they're going to be upset.
Speaker 8: You go, I'm not having a physical reaction to that
Speaker 8: at all. Yes, it is no concern to me whether
Speaker 8: the Sackler family are mad with me. To be honest,
Speaker 8: I a little bit. It's a tingle of happiness.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's kind of what you need. It's definitely.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you like the feeling that I like the feeling
Speaker 1: of trouble.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 8: In comedy it's good because I'm probably a natural coward
Speaker 8: in many ways. But when it comes to comedy, I
Speaker 8: do like the feeling of being.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you talked about you said pushing the button, said
Speaker 3: you just button, You just got to push it because
Speaker 3: I mean, you know. And And what was interesting was
Speaker 3: when I when I met with you this time much
Speaker 3: you don't give a fuck. You made me come to
Speaker 3: your office at eight am, first of all, which is
Speaker 3: which is extremely early for comedians.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, wait, god, it is true.
Speaker 8: That's an amazing thing about doing Joe. When you get
Speaker 8: into comedy, it's not generally thinking that you will see
Speaker 8: a human beings breakfast time.
Speaker 1: No, but yeah, that's why you came.
Speaker 8: You came very early, look right, and early you showered at.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I came in I talked to you, and
Speaker 3: I have very specific questions and one thing you told me.
Speaker 3: I've been using this in my podcast rounds. I don't
Speaker 3: know if if it's come back to you, but like, uh,
Speaker 3: when you told me it took you two years to
Speaker 3: relearn how to do comedy in America.
Speaker 1: I think that's probably true.
Speaker 3: You want spot onto the day, By the way, I
Speaker 3: was in hindsight, I was sorry, oh my god, because
Speaker 3: I remember there was a day I was in New
Speaker 3: York City gigging at some comedy club and it was
Speaker 3: two years in literally almost to the day, and I
Speaker 3: remember things are trying to click a little bit of
Speaker 3: like relearning how to do comedy because again, like you,
Speaker 3: like me, we were doing comedy outside of America before
Speaker 3: we even came here.
Speaker 8: Yeah, and so I think the outside the perspective in
Speaker 8: comedy always works. The thing with being an immigrant here
Speaker 8: is you kind of have to learn the exact ways
Speaker 8: that your outside the perspective can translate. So you kind
Speaker 8: of have to learn basically how that can work, and
Speaker 8: once it does, you're fine. But until that point, it
Speaker 8: does feel a little bit like on chart with waters.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a bit like you know, you can come
Speaker 3: here and you can joke about America on a very
Speaker 3: surface level, and you can, you can, and that would
Speaker 3: do well for you, for you know, if you have
Speaker 3: a fifteen minute set, maybe thirty minute set. But I
Speaker 3: feel like after nine months or a year in America,
Speaker 3: the audience can kind of smell the bullshit of like
Speaker 3: of like you've been here long enough, right, Like guns
Speaker 3: should be weird, that's right? So really when the how
Speaker 3: profound your two year thing was, like, it takes two
Speaker 3: years to learn the nuances of America so you can
Speaker 3: make fun of them in ways which.
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly, they appreciate exactly.
Speaker 3: Don't tell us we have guns. We know we have guns.
Speaker 8: That was something else we if we know nothing else
Speaker 8: about ourselves, is that we have guns to a genuinely
Speaker 8: problematic extas right, that is not a fresh insight we
Speaker 8: genuinely know, yes, exactly.
Speaker 3: So you are like going deeper and deeper and deeper
Speaker 3: into it, which you know that that was my guiding
Speaker 3: light as well. We're not first time.
Speaker 8: I'm so glad my incredibly insightful advoice of wait, twenty
Speaker 8: four months, it was like a job.
Speaker 3: I still can't live it.
Speaker 1: I just dig down. Didn't want to hear from you
Speaker 1: again for two years. That's all it works. Come back,
Speaker 1: come back to the same question in two years, and
Speaker 1: then we'll ta, yeah, it's more.
Speaker 3: And I wonder, like, do you feel like satire in
Speaker 3: twenty twenty three? Is that you know, you've been at
Speaker 3: the show, You've seen the Daily Show kind of evolve
Speaker 3: over a lot of time. Then when you join the show,
Speaker 3: I don't There wasn't anyone else doing it kind of
Speaker 3: there wasn't TikTok. There wasn't Instagram. Oh no, it wasn't
Speaker 3: those things, right, So it wasn't a bunch of you know,
Speaker 3: like assholes on talking about you know, like trying to
Speaker 3: do sat tire it up all the time, and and
Speaker 3: so what Sorry, now now I'm just attacking a bunch
Speaker 3: of people.
Speaker 8: And I think you're now attacking the entire population of
Speaker 8: TikTok truck.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: No, I'm hosting for one day. Come at me, TikTok.
Speaker 1: I was just trying. But it's monogram shirt. Did you
Speaker 1: having monogram shirts? Oh yeah, yeah, that's a very fancy shirt.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, this one is. I got this shirt
Speaker 3: made in New York City, Chinatown, and no he's a
Speaker 3: he's a legit tailor. And then he asked me if
Speaker 3: I wanted my Chinese name embroidered on it, and I
Speaker 3: was like, go for it. And then now it just
Speaker 3: looks like a mustard steak. Yeah, it doesn't look like my.
Speaker 8: Son took a little bit like a muscles slim stea.
Speaker 3: Yeah, did you guys get fancy suits when you know
Speaker 3: we got no suits?
Speaker 8: We got I cannot we we were not given anything.
Speaker 8: I'd never under second this boomer coming on a daily
Speaker 8: show telling.
Speaker 3: Us how good we have in You mean have a desk,
Speaker 3: we have cameras.
Speaker 8: We have to go to go to a place to
Speaker 8: buy us and doing philipies. You wreck them all the
Speaker 8: time for years here we did. There's nothing that made
Speaker 8: ex correspondents more angry than hearing that we got free
Speaker 8: suits when we did and yeah, that was the thing
Speaker 8: that bothered them the most. It was no, no, you
Speaker 8: should have to go into the hole every year just
Speaker 8: to get a presentable suits.
Speaker 1: Now look at you, you're spiffy.
Speaker 3: Now did the show pay for that? Yeah?
Speaker 8: Monographs, you get monographed shirts? Yeah, Well, you know, Comedy
Speaker 8: Central has changed. I know things are a little choppy
Speaker 8: here but monogram shirts.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 3: I told them they their monogram here, they're racist, And
Speaker 3: then they're just, oh, that's that's a move I can't make. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but like that's the thing, Like we're both in immigrants
Speaker 3: in America, and do you ever I guess my question
Speaker 3: to you is like, what how do you answer the
Speaker 3: people who are like, if you don't like it here, leave.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I get that a lot.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I mean, I guess it's a I mean, it's
Speaker 8: a horrible point, but it's a fair question. I guess
Speaker 8: now my answer would be I'm a citizen.
Speaker 1: You can't do that. But I mean, the tricky thing
Speaker 1: is I felt ownership.
Speaker 8: It's very dangerous a British person saying I felt ownership
Speaker 8: of this country historically.
Speaker 1: Historically, that's not that well, it's amazing. I just went
Speaker 1: to India and I felt like I belonged.
Speaker 8: But I felt at home here long before my legal
Speaker 8: status was solid. That's the tricky thing as nemigrant. But
Speaker 8: the more I felt at home here, the more cognizant
Speaker 8: you are of the fact that it's not up to
Speaker 8: you whether or not you get to stay or not.
Speaker 8: So it was a massive relief to get my green
Speaker 8: cards and an even bigger relief to get my citizenship.
Speaker 8: So yeah, despite the fact immigrants tend to talk shit,
Speaker 8: it's generally the kind of way that you talk ship
Speaker 8: with someone you genuinely love. Sure, as a comedian, I
Speaker 8: only really talk ship as a way of expressing like
Speaker 8: professionally exactly, I don't really know how to express myself sincerely, right,
Speaker 8: I like you, I'm never going to say that your show.
Speaker 3: That's about I was back on that other point, like,
Speaker 3: do you feel as a place for satire, Like, basically
Speaker 3: the news is so crazy right now, reality is sometimes
Speaker 3: matching up to the news sometimes in that environment, do
Speaker 3: you feel that satire is still possible? Like, you know,
Speaker 3: when you're doing a joke ironically, do you feel like
Speaker 3: people can get it that you're trying to ironically be
Speaker 3: the bad guy in some you know?
Speaker 8: Oh, you mean like if you're doing Phil because we
Speaker 8: used to play the bad guy in Phil piece, right,
Speaker 8: you would say you did not mean just to embody
Speaker 8: an argument that you do not agree with. I mean,
Speaker 8: get in Field pieces, that's the way that we would
Speaker 8: operate all the time in general. I mean our shows
Speaker 8: a little different, like we're not in the and.
Speaker 3: That's your show, and asking about for me, but this
Speaker 3: show and you figured it out.
Speaker 8: I'm talking about for me, Like I think there's I
Speaker 8: think there will always be a place for satire. I
Speaker 8: mean there was a place for in Germany in the thirties.
Speaker 8: It didn't seem to work out that well over there,
Speaker 8: but they.
Speaker 1: Gave it a go.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so no, I think I think there will always be.
Speaker 8: And I'm like you, I'm happy for people online to
Speaker 8: try and do it as well. Ronnie really would like
Speaker 8: nobody to have a voice.
Speaker 3: All about earning your voice like me I did. I
Speaker 3: had to get on this show to get a voice.
Speaker 3: You don't get a voice just in your underwear Instagram.
Speaker 8: Ronnie regrets that gatekeepers have been removed from the process.
Speaker 1: You really like the gates.
Speaker 3: I love the gate Yet it was so tough to
Speaker 3: come here, you know, it was very tough for me
Speaker 3: to come here. I like you, I also really wanted
Speaker 3: to come here.
Speaker 1: That is the thing.
Speaker 8: I don't think Americans understand how rough the US immigration
Speaker 8: process is. When they say come to people, come in
Speaker 8: the right way. I don't think they realize how literally
Speaker 8: impossible that is. In some in some aspects when when
Speaker 8: I got my green card here they brought it to
Speaker 8: me in my office upstairs, and they gave me a
Speaker 8: Budweiser and an apple pie with a little American flag
Speaker 8: in it. And I think they would give it as
Speaker 8: if like here's a joke, right, Oh, you got it
Speaker 8: and you're always going to get it. Here it is,
Speaker 8: and I nearly cried. And so for a British person,
Speaker 8: nearly crying is crying. That's just as I can come.
Speaker 8: But I was so relieved because I was worried about
Speaker 8: it so much. I think you tend to find, like
Speaker 8: when we were talking before, exactly when when you find
Speaker 8: out someone just got their green card, you can kind
Speaker 8: of almost feel the relief coming off it because it's
Speaker 8: such a concern.
Speaker 3: It's not easy. Exactly. The top of the green card,
Speaker 3: even the visa before the green cards incredible. It's called
Speaker 3: it's called the extraordinary Ability visa. Yes, you have to
Speaker 3: prove the one that you have extraordinaribility, which I challenge
Speaker 3: anyone to do. Unlet's just freaking an NBA player someone foot.
Speaker 3: And then second boy, it's like if you don't constantly
Speaker 3: prove that you're they can deport you, like if I
Speaker 3: have a bad segment on the Daily Show that you do.
Speaker 8: Not demonstrate extraordinaribility that was at median level of ability.
Speaker 8: That is the worst thing about coming in on the
Speaker 8: visa is like occasionally they will look at the visa
Speaker 8: and say, what do you do because they're expecting a surgeon. Yeah,
Speaker 8: someone with a marketable skill and the moment you say
Speaker 8: comedian like, that's this is not for you, that's not
Speaker 8: And also then if it's all go tell me something
Speaker 8: funny like or what is this a fun bitch? Or
Speaker 8: is this the moment I get deported?
Speaker 1: Do I need a joke?
Speaker 8: On handtop, it demonstrates extraordinary ability in terms of word craft. Yes,
Speaker 8: it's incredibly stressful in the way people don't understand.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's in a weird way. I'm with you in that,
Speaker 3: and that like immigrants to America who come here actually
Speaker 3: want to be here, have far to be here, and
Speaker 3: we're the ones who get shit done here because we
Speaker 3: had to improve it every single time.
Speaker 1: That's right, that's right, we get the job done. Yeah.
Speaker 8: I would say, what is more quintessentially American than coming
Speaker 8: to a country you don't belong in and deciding you're
Speaker 8: going to stay.
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving of all times.
Speaker 3: Yes, all right, so we get it. You you know
Speaker 3: you every interview I've researched you on, you've you've professional
Speaker 3: love for America. You're still here, clearly you still love it. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 3: So can you shut the fuck up and be American
Speaker 3: for one minute? Instill constantly complaining and talking like a
Speaker 3: foreign all the time. I mean, I challenge you.
Speaker 1: How you challenge me to be American?
Speaker 3: Yes? I want you to eat this hot dog right now,
Speaker 3: and then I want you to throw this football, and
Speaker 3: foot of all, you have to call it a football.
Speaker 1: I can't do that. I go to an American football.
Speaker 3: Okay, American, an American? You throw this to me. You
Speaker 3: gonna eat that first, And you throw this to me?
Speaker 1: Okay like this, No, no, you gotta quick end. Okay, spot,
Speaker 1: we're gonna go over with it.
Speaker 3: Okay, eat this first.
Speaker 8: We got.
Speaker 3: This is the way were.
Speaker 7: You were saying you are say you are said, all right,
Speaker 7: and then you gotta come over here and you gotta
Speaker 7: sad right here, all right.
Speaker 3: And you gotta throw a tight spiral?
Speaker 1: How well can that be?
Speaker 3: All right? Hey?
Speaker 1: Okay, all right? Then we got a drum roll, drum
Speaker 1: roll for you for you ready, all right, you, alright?
Speaker 3: This is last week tonight with John Oliver as wherever
Speaker 3: you'll find it. Who gives a fun, will take a
Speaker 3: let's how do you throw?
Speaker 1: To take a quick break.
Speaker 3: We'll be right back out the neck. Do you do it?
Speaker 1: That's that show for tonight.
Speaker 3: But before we go, please consider supporting Asian and Pacific
Speaker 3: Islander American Vote organization dedicated to educating and empowering API
Speaker 3: communities to build a culture civic engagement. If you can,
Speaker 3: please donate to the link below and stay tuned tomorrow
Speaker 3: when Jordan Klepper and Daisyli they take over the desk.
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