Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: From the most trusted journalist at Comedy Center. It's America's
Speaker 2: only sorts for new this It's the Daily Chop with
Speaker 2: your host, Go due prom the Daily Show. I haven't
Speaker 2: got short.
Speaker 3: We got a great chill point and night.
Speaker 1: My friend, I got a I got a.
Speaker 3: New tie with a chart.
Speaker 4: I'll tell you what, we got a great one. Paul
Speaker 4: Rudd has gotta go. Paul Rudd finally had balls to
Speaker 4: come on this show after weeks of calling me a propagandast.
Speaker 4: Know this, our interview will be unedited. Rudd's going down.
Speaker 4: It's HAPPENINGNNA. I'm gonna give that dude an infection of
Speaker 4: the paranem I spent.
Speaker 3: I should explain it.
Speaker 1: We spent.
Speaker 4: We come out earlier, I do a little warm up
Speaker 4: with the audience, and for some unknown reason, and it
Speaker 4: really was not prompted, I was trying to discuss the
Speaker 4: relationship between asthma medication at a side effect of an
Speaker 4: infection of the perineum. Unfortunately, I have no one in
Speaker 4: the audience who was able to satisfy my curiosity on that.
Speaker 4: Those of you at home and maybe looking it up
Speaker 4: right now, Wait, till the commercial break. But first a
Speaker 4: quick update on an administration that is once again carrying
Speaker 4: out its plans with competence and professionalism.
Speaker 5: A reporter from the Atlantic says he was mistakenly added
Speaker 5: to a group chat with top members of the Trump
Speaker 5: administration as they were texting back and forth about highly
Speaker 5: sensitive war plans.
Speaker 6: Jeffrey Goldberg says he was included in a group chat
Speaker 6: full of our nation's top security officials discussing what we
Speaker 6: can only assume to be top secret plans to bomb
Speaker 6: hoothy targets across Yemen on March fifteenth. Everything from the
Speaker 6: weapons America would be deploying, to the timing and the
Speaker 6: attack sequences.
Speaker 3: Oopsie POOPSI.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Back in my day, if you were a journalist who
Speaker 4: wanted leake to war documents, he had worked the sources,
Speaker 4: meet him in a dark garage, earned the trust pound
Speaker 4: the pavement. Now just wait for the National Security advisor
Speaker 4: to be distracted by white lotus while he's setting up
Speaker 4: his bomb Yemen group chat. All those guys jerking each
Speaker 4: other off, by the way, I might be in this
Speaker 4: group chat.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't check my group chats.
Speaker 4: Perhaps my favorite text of the entire group chain was
Speaker 4: the one from our Defense secretary saying, quote, we are
Speaker 4: currently clean on opset.
Speaker 3: For those of you who don't KNOWSECT.
Speaker 4: Means operational security. He said that in the group chat,
Speaker 4: a group chat with a journalists, the journalist said that
Speaker 4: he didn't think that the story was real until Yemen
Speaker 4: was bombed. Oh did I bring you down?
Speaker 3: Let's move on, because, as you know, there are certain.
Speaker 4: Hypocrisies and absurdities that we find in our cultural moment
Speaker 4: that make for great fodder for humorous dialogue. A facial
Speaker 4: expression a not in a wink. Then there are other
Speaker 4: pronouncements by our elected officials, actions by our government that
Speaker 4: are so baldly bullshit, even though you know it will
Speaker 4: have no effect, and that these powerful creatures have been
Speaker 4: genetically modified to resist shame self reflection of any kind.
Speaker 3: You just can't help yourself but to go old school
Speaker 3: Daily Show coach.
Speaker 4: I'm talking about the debate on free speech now. As
Speaker 4: we know, conservatives have been very concerned about the loss
Speaker 4: of free speech in our country for a very long time.
Speaker 7: Bullies on the left aiming to silence conservatives.
Speaker 1: Free speech is under siege in this country and the leftists.
Speaker 8: They've become the thought police. They basically declare themselves God
Speaker 8: and judge us for our thoughts.
Speaker 3: George Orwell was right. The thought police come next to
Speaker 3: punish thought crime. Be very, very scared.
Speaker 9: I am, perhaps not for the reasons. You are the
Speaker 9: thought police with you right now, Jamie?
Speaker 4: Are they in the bottles? But luckily, our national free
Speaker 4: speech nightmare recently came to an end when we entered
Speaker 4: the golden age of Donald jehosifef for Trump.
Speaker 10: We have saved free speech in America, and we've saved
Speaker 10: it strongly.
Speaker 3: Free speech in America, it's fact.
Speaker 11: Thank god, we have a president now who believes in
Speaker 11: free speech.
Speaker 4: Yes, thank god, we have a president now who believes
Speaker 4: in free Just go ahead, roll through twelve. I believe
Speaker 4: that CNN and MSDNC what they do is illegal. I
Speaker 4: think CBA should lose its license, Yes, but I think
Speaker 4: ABC should lose its license also because of what they
Speaker 4: had done.
Speaker 3: I watched what happened live.
Speaker 4: I think Bravo should also lose their license.
Speaker 3: What they did to Derinda on Traders. They should be
Speaker 3: sent to a Salvagerian.
Speaker 4: Now, this is what I'm talking about. Generally, you've got
Speaker 4: to search the archives for contradictions on one stated principles,
Speaker 4: dig through policy papers to uncover private actions that are
Speaker 4: undermined by someone's public stance. But this is so this
Speaker 4: is so blatant. I can't wrap my head around it.
Speaker 4: It's not even the hypocrisy, it's that they so fetishize
Speaker 4: free speech, this thing that they do not in any
Speaker 4: way actually practice.
Speaker 3: The freedom to speak our minds and express the truth
Speaker 3: that is our heart. Really, that's really a big chunk
Speaker 3: of our heart.
Speaker 4: Any cardiologists will tell you.
Speaker 3: Heart's coming chunks.
Speaker 4: Blood comes into the aorda to the right ventricle, passes
Speaker 4: through your speech chunk. But since coming into office, Trump
Speaker 4: and the Republicans have instituted policies that are a dagger
Speaker 4: right through many people's speech chunks.
Speaker 12: The White House has barred the Associated Press from presidential
Speaker 12: events because the AP has refused to rename the Gulf
Speaker 12: of Mexico the Gulf of America in its stylebook.
Speaker 7: And in a dramatic escalation against the American legal system,
Speaker 7: Trump this weekend dirrected his government to target law firms.
Speaker 7: Bating his action, federal immigration officials arrested a Palaestadian activists
Speaker 7: to help lead last year's student encampment protest at Columbia.
Speaker 13: I think we are to get them all out of
Speaker 13: the country. They're troublemakers, they're agitators. They don't love our country.
Speaker 4: A chunks, my precious chunks, my lovely lady, chunks, not chunks,
Speaker 4: not chunks. O lovely lady, you're making my paraneum tingle.
Speaker 4: Here's the thing, these attacks on free speech, especially the
Speaker 4: one where they deported that activist. If there's one thing
Speaker 4: that I know about the powerful principles at our higher
Speaker 4: education institutions, they will not be bullied by a roll
Speaker 4: to twelve.
Speaker 5: Columbia University is bowing to President trump'ss announcing it will
Speaker 5: change a number of policies.
Speaker 4: Among them placing the school's Middle Eastern, South Asian and
Speaker 4: African Studies department under academic receivership for at least five years.
Speaker 4: Some students protests to the Warren guys, I suddenly a
Speaker 4: whole academic department is on double secret probation with government oversight.
Speaker 3: And by the way, okay, Middle East part African studies,
Speaker 3: what did they do.
Speaker 4: So the African studies professors like I teach intermediate Swahili. See,
Speaker 4: these guys don't give a fuck about free speech. They
Speaker 4: care about their speech. It's so blatant hypocrisy. It's so
Speaker 4: old school Daily Show, gotcha. I you know what, I'm
Speaker 4: just gonna put on the wig I used to wear
Speaker 4: during those years.
Speaker 3: Because poverat is just so.
Speaker 4: Here's Donald Trump on those who would criticize judges that
Speaker 4: he has appointed.
Speaker 3: A lot of the judges that I had.
Speaker 13: If you look at him, they take tremendous abuse.
Speaker 4: And it's truly interference, in my opinion, and it should
Speaker 4: be illegal, and it probably is illegal in some form.
Speaker 3: Yes, criticizing judges, it is interference. It should be illegal,
Speaker 3: tremendous abuse.
Speaker 4: And four days later, not four days later, not a
Speaker 4: full French work week later.
Speaker 14: President Donald Trump just took a true social and deemed
Speaker 14: this judge. Responding to this decision here calling him a
Speaker 14: radical left lunatic of a judge, a troublemaker and agitator
Speaker 14: who was sadly appointed by Barack Hussein Obama, He says
Speaker 14: this judge should be impeached.
Speaker 13: The bacus.
Speaker 4: It is and are we really still doing the Barack
Speaker 4: Hussein Obama than oh, free RAMBEI.
Speaker 3: Come on, people, yes.
Speaker 4: See, what was the whole thing that they hated about
Speaker 4: the left on free speech?
Speaker 8: No one has saved from the left's word police.
Speaker 4: No one what exactly would actual government run word police
Speaker 4: organization look like.
Speaker 15: The Trump administration is actively trying to purge the federal
Speaker 15: government of so called woke initiatives. Government agencies have flagged
Speaker 15: hundreds of words to limit or avoid, words like DEI, bipoc,
Speaker 15: anti racism, Latin X, Native American black women, seemingly random
Speaker 15: words like expression at risk, political and even mental health,
Speaker 15: and sex.
Speaker 11: What's left.
Speaker 4: Bipocking LATINX, I get that I allowed to say sex.
Speaker 4: You can't say words like women or sex or hashtag
Speaker 4: me too. How can a lot of your cabinet members
Speaker 4: describe their weekends? You know, you can't protest in a
Speaker 4: way that you can't protest in a way that defends
Speaker 4: the right. You can't teach things that the right doesn't
Speaker 4: want you to teach. You can't read things that they
Speaker 4: don't want you to read. You can't use words that
Speaker 4: they don't want you to use.
Speaker 3: But they love free speech.
Speaker 4: I guess fear not at least will always have art.
Speaker 16: President Trump demanding a painting of him be removed because
Speaker 16: he finds it unflattering.
Speaker 4: He's demanding they take it down because he believes this
Speaker 4: picture is unflattering, which really makes you think, do you
Speaker 4: think other pictures of you are flattering?
Speaker 3: At least in the painting? They blended the foundation into
Speaker 3: your hairin but painting is out.
Speaker 4: Oddly enough, there is still one area of free speech
Speaker 4: that the right defends non hypocritically.
Speaker 3: I think they've come him a long way Meta Facebook, Mark.
Speaker 10: Zuckerberg came to the White House, who I like much
Speaker 10: better now, you know, I have a warm spot in
Speaker 10: my heart foreto Twitter.
Speaker 1: Now they call it X. It's great that Elon bought that.
Speaker 1: He's done us all a big favorite.
Speaker 4: He loves it. Meta X the tickety time. Why is
Speaker 4: it that they're so enamored with social media?
Speaker 7: Studies by The Wall Street Journal, Washington Post and academic
Speaker 7: organizations have found that the site forced political content on users.
Speaker 7: That content was almost invariably pro Trump, pro Republican, and
Speaker 7: pro mosque.
Speaker 4: Huh. The one area of free speech that they want
Speaker 4: to protect completely is the area that supports them and
Speaker 4: isn't actually free. Social media is algorithmic and it advances
Speaker 4: with key demographics. Or to put that in the most
Speaker 4: hilarious way possible.
Speaker 14: The President sat down with out Kicks Clay Travis on
Speaker 14: Air Force one to discuss the status of his second term.
Speaker 16: President Trump getting to talk to you here on Air
Speaker 16: Force one. I wanted to start with this, why do
Speaker 16: you think young men are so overwhelmingly coming in your direction?
Speaker 1: My work here is done. Perhaps I can answer that question.
Speaker 4: They are overwhelmingly coming in his direction because that is
Speaker 4: the direction they're facing. I don't know if you know
Speaker 4: how that works, but you really can't come in the
Speaker 4: direction you're not facing. Although, young man, at that age,
Speaker 4: you could bank a shot, could I could see one
Speaker 4: fly over the shoulder, maybe a chick shot, but they
Speaker 4: landed in a cup.
Speaker 3: You know where that would go viral.
Speaker 4: Social media, the one place the right will unequivocally protect
Speaker 4: free speech, is the one place where the speech isn't
Speaker 4: actually free algorithms, it's speech incentivized for engagement and profit.
Speaker 4: It's manipulated. It just so happens that the same process
Speaker 4: that forces you to doom scroll somehow also draws you
Speaker 4: into republican ideology. Social media is a machine designed to
Speaker 4: stimulate the reptilian parts of your brain that would otherwise.
Speaker 3: Beg you to go outside.
Speaker 4: It's like being impressed that casinos give out free food.
Speaker 4: It's not free. Social media isn't the town's square, open
Speaker 4: form of ideas.
Speaker 3: It's got a plan.
Speaker 17: In the summer of twenty and nineteen, Facebook created a
Speaker 17: fake account for a forty one year old mom.
Speaker 3: They called her Carol Smith.
Speaker 17: Carol started off by liking a few popular conservative Facebook pages,
Speaker 17: but quickly Facebook began dragging her down a rabbit hole
Speaker 17: of miss information. After only two days, Facebook recommended Carol
Speaker 17: follow a QAnon page, and a few days later it
Speaker 17: suggested she follow another. By week three, Carrol's feet had
Speaker 17: become quote a constant flow of misleading and polarizing content.
Speaker 4: Now Carol Smith is a completely fictional character, and yet
Speaker 4: her children have stopped talking to her, although she was
Speaker 4: apparently added to a Pentagon group chat.
Speaker 3: And those the details about wenderbauming.
Speaker 18: Guys.
Speaker 3: Social media isn't the same as free speech.
Speaker 4: Social media is free speech in the way that doritos
Speaker 4: are food.
Speaker 3: It's ultra processed. It's designed in laboratories.
Speaker 4: It's the same mechanism that somehow convinced you that you
Speaker 4: should eat a fifty story skyscraper of potato ish and
Speaker 4: the most disappointing thing.
Speaker 3: Where are my conspiracy theories at now that it's on
Speaker 3: the right.
Speaker 4: For God's sakes, billionaires are designing machines to manipulate our speech,
Speaker 4: to control our behavior, and to rewire our brains. They're
Speaker 4: removing our regular speech and doing a I don't know
Speaker 4: great replacement of it to solidify their.
Speaker 8: Hold on power.
Speaker 4: Are you a weak yet?
Speaker 3: You were with me on the lab leak thing.
Speaker 4: Everybody having come on, you've barely even touched your Epstein Binders.
Speaker 3: Doesn't this bother you at all?
Speaker 8: Elon Musk has taken a very courageous stand for the
Speaker 8: First Amendment. He's toughest upon not and the man's got guts.
Speaker 13: He's got He's got oranges the size of beach balls.
Speaker 4: Please stop with this fog horn leghorn bullshit. He's got
Speaker 4: range all the brayball. But let me guess, how do
Speaker 4: you feel about other billionaires owning and manipulating our media?
Speaker 8: Mister Soros is now the largest single shareholder in Oudyssey
Speaker 8: radio stations in America. You can't just go do this
Speaker 8: mister Soros is a billionaire. Pass me the sick bucket.
Speaker 10: Sitting right, pass us all the mother in sick bucket
Speaker 10: about Paul will beginning as they'll go away, one o
Speaker 10: the does and I got to nice after the stars
Speaker 10: in the new movie Death of a Unicorn.
Speaker 3: Please walk a ball rock.
Speaker 19: I'm sorry, John, I'm just I'm on this new medication
Speaker 19: and uh my perinem is on fire.
Speaker 4: You know, here's how beautifully you craft these bits. It
Speaker 4: took me a while to understand that that was an
Speaker 4: inflamed paranem At first, if I may, the physical crafting
Speaker 4: you do, and the obviously the stage fighting classes you've taken,
Speaker 4: and all the things, the control you have over your body,
Speaker 4: at first I thought sciatica. It's clearly in the nether region. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it was the bowing of the legs.
Speaker 11: It's the it's the telltale giveaway of an inflamed perineum.
Speaker 3: Do we think.
Speaker 13: Now do you think it's Do we think it's shack?
Speaker 11: You go for Okay, we hear, we hear peraneum, and
Speaker 11: then we but we've also heard pereneum.
Speaker 4: I thought you were gonna say taint.
Speaker 13: The layman's term.
Speaker 11: Sure, don't denigrate the term perenium sounds like a perennium,
Speaker 11: sounds like a flower.
Speaker 4: In many ways. Isn't it.
Speaker 1: A delicate.
Speaker 3: The bouquet? Yes, the aroma. Did you know in your life?
Speaker 3: First of all, the way you.
Speaker 4: Walk, it's the difference between just an actor and a craftsman.
Speaker 13: You gotta put yourself, you gotta throw your whole body
Speaker 13: into it.
Speaker 4: By the time you were done, my parentem hurt. That's
Speaker 4: how powerful it was.
Speaker 13: Transference. You felt it. You felt it. No, that's good acting?
Speaker 13: Do your is it acting?
Speaker 4: The way there is that the one part of your
Speaker 4: body that is corroding. I think is that your Achilles peraneum?
Speaker 11: You know the portrait of Dorian Gray. I. Uh, I
Speaker 11: have a painting in my attic. I call it my attic,
Speaker 11: my attica that uh as adjust a just a rotting,
Speaker 11: old decrepit taint and uh and I also have it
Speaker 11: where it looks like a spaceship. It's called the Perenium Falcon.
Speaker 9: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I do hope you'll get that checked out. Yeah, that
Speaker 4: is uh, it is it is.
Speaker 11: I have wondered this. Do you know about the Yeah,
Speaker 11: you can't. Every commercial it is for a medication.
Speaker 4: No, question.
Speaker 11: Everyone UH talks about the perenium and how it's some
Speaker 11: sort of side effect. The other thing they'd also mentioned
Speaker 11: is UH, which is in a way even more disconcerting
Speaker 11: because they do it with kind of a cheery voice.
Speaker 11: It's talking about bloody or black stools.
Speaker 4: Is there a painting in your attic about that?
Speaker 1: You want to you want to tell us about the
Speaker 1: other thing?
Speaker 4: They always say, And don't take it like they've given
Speaker 4: you five reasons not to take this. I mean, you've
Speaker 4: got to be thinking to yourself, the accident was not
Speaker 4: that bad that I would risk my entire flaking on
Speaker 4: your arm or one kid at the beach and he's
Speaker 4: like on my elbow and they're literally like, your balls
Speaker 4: will fall off. But so I go through that and
Speaker 4: they think, like, oh, these five things will not have
Speaker 4: dissuaded you. The final one is always my favorite, And
Speaker 4: don't take it if you were allergic to it.
Speaker 13: I know what's the giveaway? That's Oh, I think I
Speaker 13: might be allergic to this?
Speaker 9: Yeah?
Speaker 13: Everything, How would you know?
Speaker 4: Unless Paul, I'm gonna be honest with you. Finally, I
Speaker 4: didn't even know you still did movies. I just thought
Speaker 4: we just I thought you were a web MD doctor
Speaker 4: and I just brought you out here to talk.
Speaker 11: Yeah, strictly, Uh, medicines.
Speaker 4: Medicines do you have? I am. I am at the
Speaker 4: point now where I like, I'll read an article on
Speaker 4: biohacking and like, and they'll be like, it's an injection
Speaker 4: of na D and ultra violet rays and you can't
Speaker 4: go outside for three months, And I'd be like, I
Speaker 4: would do that.
Speaker 13: There is there is.
Speaker 11: A thing that like is so strange that there we
Speaker 11: are so insistent on letting everyone believe they are sick
Speaker 11: in this country.
Speaker 4: Oh shit, you just got real.
Speaker 13: Oh no, but every commercial is one of these medicines.
Speaker 11: And my daughter when she was little, you know, you
Speaker 11: just watch TV. It was unavoidable, you know, you play
Speaker 11: games with your kids of like, all right, we're gonna
Speaker 11: go through we have to name uh, you have to
Speaker 11: come up with a food. We'll go go through eights
Speaker 11: like apple, banana.
Speaker 13: You know, cherries.
Speaker 3: We used to do keep going. I want to I
Speaker 3: want to see I want.
Speaker 13: We can, but we used to do it.
Speaker 11: My daughter would be four years old and we would
Speaker 11: do it with medicines. She'd be like, abilify wow, and
Speaker 11: I swear to god, we could make it through the
Speaker 11: entire alphabet four years old. Normally you skip X, but
Speaker 11: she's zell jams right, not a bit that's really true.
Speaker 3: How many times are we gonna do zoiba Raxin's in Remax?
Speaker 13: Yeah, Xanax didn't even make the cuts gone.
Speaker 2: Damn.
Speaker 4: It is a very interesting you know.
Speaker 13: Uh remember anison, good old anison.
Speaker 3: Right, and it cured everything.
Speaker 11: I just remember as a kid, I think all we
Speaker 11: had was anison buffering bear like as commercials.
Speaker 4: It looks like somebody lived in a nice neighborhood. I
Speaker 4: had Saint Joseph's children's asked for.
Speaker 3: I was seventeen and had chlamydia.
Speaker 13: But how is your perineum gorgeous?
Speaker 3: As Asriana would say, shine like a diamond. You could
Speaker 3: eat off of that thing? And boy did I try.
Speaker 13: We all tried.
Speaker 3: Can I tell you something.
Speaker 1: I've missed you?
Speaker 13: I've missed you too, I haven't I think the last time.
Speaker 4: I see you every now and again at an event.
Speaker 4: Once I moved out of the city, Once you moved
Speaker 4: out of the city. For those urban sophisticates you are,
Speaker 4: you are a dead man. I live out in New
Speaker 4: Jersey and I would say to a poult, ho hold
Speaker 4: on one second, hard disagree, But I see you. You
Speaker 4: are living now the dream that I sometimes think of,
Speaker 4: Like you're Kansas City Chiefs. They keep winning Super Bowls.
Speaker 4: You're out there with your son on the field, like
Speaker 4: celebrating the thing. It's such a magic guitar. Kids are
Speaker 4: around the same age that we're all, they're going through
Speaker 4: the things. It's a big transition. Like do you feel
Speaker 4: the empty nest of it all? Like that's that's slowly
Speaker 4: starting to dawn on me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I do.
Speaker 11: I mean, I certainly feel older, and my kids are older,
Speaker 11: they have their own lives. I mean, I'm sitting here,
Speaker 11: you know, getting nostalgic about the Abilify game, and so
Speaker 11: as I'm talking about it, and I see, you know,
Speaker 11: people with little kids.
Speaker 4: I'm like, I remember that, and I do feel it's
Speaker 4: the whole the thing for me when I see someone
Speaker 4: whose kid is at that age where you can still
Speaker 4: do you like the football hold right, and you got
Speaker 4: the coffee in one hand and and the kid in
Speaker 4: the other, and then so the cigarette can just dangle
Speaker 4: and yeah, it's it's a it's a wild feeling when
Speaker 4: it when it washes over you. But it's also nice
Speaker 4: to I guess have them at that other like the
Speaker 4: conversations you can have with them as so much.
Speaker 13: Yeah, Oh it's great.
Speaker 11: I mean it's you know, you always hear that and
Speaker 11: that it's like, oh, every age is great and it's
Speaker 11: and it's true right, and it's it's an amazing it's
Speaker 11: an amazing thing. I was just I was just in
Speaker 11: Australia working in Australia and my son was on break
Speaker 11: from school.
Speaker 4: And he came to visit.
Speaker 13: It was the first time ever by himself and it
Speaker 13: was uh.
Speaker 4: Came to visit you in Australia. Yeah, fantastic, is great?
Speaker 4: Did you The one thing I didn't do and I
Speaker 4: probably should have done, is make friends, so.
Speaker 3: They have to be there.
Speaker 4: I own them, but when they leave, it's just me
Speaker 4: eating a Jersey MIC's by myself watching it.
Speaker 11: Well, I don't know, have you found this to be
Speaker 11: the case, because I certainly have. I think as I
Speaker 11: just as I get older, my world gets smaller and
Speaker 11: as far as friends, I do have friends, but I'm
Speaker 11: not nearly as social as I used to be. I'm
Speaker 11: not on I'm not on any actual social media. I
Speaker 11: never have been so I do feel as if the
Speaker 11: world operates in a way that it's passing me by.
Speaker 13: I it's like I sit alone with me books. I
Speaker 13: sound like I'm Simon and garfunk song. I am a
Speaker 13: rock no his it's crazy.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell you second, I look up for one second.
Speaker 3: I do this every time we're together.
Speaker 2: God, my life is horrible.
Speaker 3: People, I'll let you go.
Speaker 4: I want to show the audience. I want everybody at
Speaker 4: home look at this. Paul is older than I am.
Speaker 4: And if I go home right now, my guess is
Speaker 4: somebody has ruined my taint painting your tainting.
Speaker 13: You know, talk about an oil painting.
Speaker 4: He's got the movies Death of a Unicorn. It's gonna
Speaker 4: be in theaters. I worked Friendship with Tim Robinson, who
Speaker 4: may be the funniest man.
Speaker 11: He's amazing, amazing Tim Robinson.
Speaker 4: Tim Robinson, and you're in the movie Friendship, which will
Speaker 4: deal with the things that we're just talking about, and
Speaker 4: then a movie about killing unicorns, which we're not probably
Speaker 4: going to talk about that much.
Speaker 13: Fine, we're gonna talk about any of this.
Speaker 4: How do you when you get because the movie it's
Speaker 4: wild and you'll love it and Jenne Ortega is in it,
Speaker 4: and she's great and the cast is insane, but I
Speaker 4: can't did when they pitched to you, they go, Paul,
Speaker 4: there's this movie. We'd really love for you to ben it.
Speaker 4: You play a lawyer, and oh what is a lawyer doing? Well,
Speaker 4: he's around murderous unicorns?
Speaker 3: And is that when you go, like, look where I
Speaker 3: was in Marvel?
Speaker 13: I don't I get a thing. It's called death of
Speaker 13: a Unicorn. I'm like, where do I sign?
Speaker 3: That's the beauty of the Empire?
Speaker 4: That well, it is always a pleasure. And I hope
Speaker 4: that I host one day a week for the next
Speaker 4: twenty years and you come back to see us again.
Speaker 13: I would love nothing more, John, I hope talk for.
Speaker 3: Con Let me call rock, Let me right back. You
Speaker 3: know I got that way from Oh looks everyday night
Speaker 3: before we go. You're gonna check in with.
Speaker 4: Girls for the rest of the week, mister Ronnie Chang,
Speaker 4: run eye, what do you got for the rest of
Speaker 4: the week?
Speaker 18: Run well, John, We'll be covering the bankruptcy of twenty
Speaker 18: three and meters. It's a sad day for all the
Speaker 18: people who want to learn their family history, but a
Speaker 18: great day for all the secret fathers who wanted to
Speaker 18: keep that history quiet. And of course, smart people like
Speaker 18: myself don't just give out our genetic information. I keep
Speaker 18: mind safe and secure.
Speaker 4: Jesus, I'm sorry. Oh, for God's sake, Ronnie, you just
Speaker 4: group texted me your entire DNA sequence.
Speaker 18: Okay, that was a small mistake, but otherwise my opsec
Speaker 18: is totally clean.
Speaker 3: Here Lese prony, here, RUnni chang, everybody all my flee.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna shut my real phone off.
Speaker 4: Oh. Also, March thirty first, next week, one week from today,
Speaker 4: maybe night at Too Many Stars at the Beacon Theater
Speaker 4: here in New York City, live comedy event benefiting office
Speaker 4: and programs nationwide. If you are in town, please consider
Speaker 4: buying tickets at the link below. Join me and really
Speaker 4: too many Stars, I can't even name them all. Chris Rock,
Speaker 4: Adam Slammer, a bunch of mother Rabel please join here.
Speaker 4: It is your moment?
Speaker 5: Is that President Donald Trump taking aim at a portrait
Speaker 5: of himself in the Colorado State Capitol.
Speaker 3: He's calling it distorted and ken and I have you seen?
Speaker 12: I kind of agree Tell the Truth Social on Sunday
Speaker 12: to disparage the painting that was originally commissioned by the
Speaker 12: Colorado gop Any Most. He says that the painting was
Speaker 12: purposely distorted to a level that even I perhaps have
Speaker 12: never seen before.
Speaker 16: Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
Speaker 16: searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 13: Watch The Daily Show week nights at eleven.
Speaker 17: Ten Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime
Speaker 17: on Paramount plus
Speaker 13: Paramount Podcasts