1 00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:04,040 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:08,879 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, on sex, on work, on parenting, 3 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:12,039 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM 4 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,680 Speaker 1: dot com by clicking submit Strawberry Letter. We could be 5 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:18,320 Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air, just like we're 6 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:20,840 Speaker 1: gonna read this one right here, right now. You never 7 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:25,599 Speaker 1: know it could I said, it could be your buckle 8 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:28,160 Speaker 1: off and hold on tight. We got it for you here. 9 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:33,839 Speaker 1: It is the straw very letter. That's sexy Tommy, or 10 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:43,920 Speaker 1: to him, it's not a little scary, right, little docta 11 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:47,680 Speaker 1: in that way? Yeah, all right. Subject. He tells his 12 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 1: sister everything, Dear Stephen Shirley, My husband and I have 13 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 1: been together for six years and married for two. His 14 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:57,320 Speaker 1: sister and I worked together in high school, and after 15 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:00,960 Speaker 1: we graduated, we lived together until I started dating her brother. 16 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:04,160 Speaker 1: It was awkward because she was all up in our 17 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 1: business and even walked in on us having sex. Once 18 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,760 Speaker 1: I was ready to move out, and he suggests it 19 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 1: we get an apartment together. His sister was at our 20 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 1: apartment every night for the first week, claiming she was 21 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 1: afraid to stay alone. I put an end to that quickly, 22 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 1: and she ended up resenting me, so now that I'm 23 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,560 Speaker 1: married to her brother, she comes at me rude and 24 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:30,119 Speaker 1: wrong a lot. He asked me to take to look 25 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,319 Speaker 1: over her, and he says she's jealous because I have 26 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 1: a man and she doesn't. On the other hand, he 27 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 1: keeps bringing her into our relationship by telling her all 28 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 1: of our business. She made a stride remark about me 29 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,959 Speaker 1: being a knemix, saying she hopes I don't pass out 30 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 1: during sex because I won't take iron pills. I let 31 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:51,800 Speaker 1: that slide, but I yelled at my husband later. She 32 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,520 Speaker 1: told my mother in law not to expect any grand 33 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 1: baby soon because I still want my husband to wrap 34 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: it up during sex. It's been one after another, but 35 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:04,559 Speaker 1: the final straw was when I overheard my husband telling 36 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,120 Speaker 1: her that he wishes I was a bit more submissive 37 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:12,520 Speaker 1: and not a headstrong black businesswoman in pursuit of a career. 38 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,520 Speaker 1: He's told me that too, but he knows I'm not 39 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:18,959 Speaker 1: slowing down anytime soon, and I'm about to open another 40 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: salon suite for nails. It seems like the two of 41 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:24,280 Speaker 1: them team up to hate on me together, and at 42 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,079 Speaker 1: this point he gossips to her like a woman. Why 43 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 1: does he feel the need to share so much with 44 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,520 Speaker 1: his sister when he knows she's hateful? Is he a 45 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,800 Speaker 1: hater too? You know? The way I see it is this, 46 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,400 Speaker 1: you have two huge problems. You have your husband and 47 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: yes you have your hating sister sister in law, his 48 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 1: hating sister, and there is a reasonable amount of jealousy 49 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 1: on her part. But one thing for sure, you don't 50 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 1: have to guess about what your husband told his sister. 51 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:54,560 Speaker 1: He told her that he wishes you were more submissive 52 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,720 Speaker 1: and you were not a headstrong black businesswoman in pursuit 53 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:01,280 Speaker 1: of a career. Now whatever that means. You heard him 54 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 1: say it with your own ears, and you said, he 55 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: told you the same thing, but you're not slowing down. 56 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 1: Why would he tell his sister in law that? It's 57 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:14,639 Speaker 1: the question, you know, why does he tell her anything? Clearly, 58 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 1: you know there's a problem here. It's both communication and resentment. 59 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 1: And why aren't you guys, meaning you and your husband 60 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,880 Speaker 1: talking about this. He resents the fact that sounds like 61 00:03:25,919 --> 00:03:29,480 Speaker 1: that you work too much, you're a boss, and you 62 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:32,680 Speaker 1: know you resent him for telling his sister everything. His 63 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 1: sister does not respect your marriage boundaries. But then again, 64 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 1: your husband just invites her in so she feels like 65 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 1: she has free reign and can say whatever she wants. 66 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 1: He's wrong for that. But I still think the problem 67 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 1: between you two is communication. You're both frustrated with each other, 68 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:52,960 Speaker 1: him because you work and you're headstrong, he says, and 69 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,160 Speaker 1: you know you guys are gonna have to try and 70 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,880 Speaker 1: work this out. You're frustrated and resent him because he 71 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 1: tells his sister everything. I just think if you guys 72 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 1: could really hear each other, you could probably reach some 73 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 1: sort of compromise. Your problems aren't that bad, though, I'm 74 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 1: gonna tell you that honestly, your problems aren't that bad. 75 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,600 Speaker 1: I mean, at least you guys aren't cheating on each 76 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 1: other and stuff like that. But if you guys could 77 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,640 Speaker 1: just sit down and have a conversation, I think a 78 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 1: lot of this stuff could be cleared up and keep 79 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:24,520 Speaker 1: his sister. Tell him please to keep his sister out 80 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 1: of the marriage. Steve, Well, he else his sister everything. 81 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,840 Speaker 1: I know exactly why he does this. I'll save it 82 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 1: for the end case. There's a woman out there that's 83 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 1: struggling with this with her man, which it is a 84 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:42,960 Speaker 1: lot of this happened. My husband and I've been together 85 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:47,120 Speaker 1: six years, married for two His sister and I worked 86 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:51,960 Speaker 1: together in high school, and after we graduated we lived together. 87 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: So now this is a twenty year old or twenty 88 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:02,640 Speaker 1: four year old couple. If you graduated at eighteen and 89 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:08,799 Speaker 1: he'd been together six years, we're looking at about twenty five. 90 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 1: His sister and I worked together in high school, and 91 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,919 Speaker 1: after we graduated, we lived together until I started dating 92 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:21,040 Speaker 1: her brother. So it was after they graduated they lived together. 93 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:24,359 Speaker 1: Let's say another year they started dating a brother, and 94 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 1: it got a little awkward because she was all up 95 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: in their business and even walked in on us having sex. 96 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:33,040 Speaker 1: Months all right, I was ready to move out, and 97 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: he suggested that we get an apartment together. So now 98 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 1: this was his idea, his idea, This is a critical 99 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:43,360 Speaker 1: piece of this letter. This was his idea to move 100 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: out to get a problem together. But his sister came 101 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,480 Speaker 1: over to the y'all's department every night for the first week, 102 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 1: claiming that she was afraid to stay alone because you 103 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 1: and the sister. You and the sister were roommates for 104 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:59,240 Speaker 1: a while. I put it into that quickly, and she 105 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:02,880 Speaker 1: send it up, ended up resenting me. You moved out 106 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 1: because she was all up in your business. She didn't 107 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,040 Speaker 1: want you to move out, but it was her husband's idea. 108 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:10,919 Speaker 1: After you said you wanted to move out. It was 109 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 1: your husband's idea, her brother's idea to say, hey, let's 110 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 1: get an apartment together. Now the resentment started, and now 111 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 1: you're married to her brother. She comes at you rude 112 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:26,280 Speaker 1: and wrong a lot. And the reason she comes at 113 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:28,760 Speaker 1: you rude and wrong a lot is because she's lonely, 114 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 1: bitter and needs a relationship of her. Oh, I don't 115 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 1: mind his devil's playground. You ain't got a relationship you own. 116 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:40,480 Speaker 1: You got time to get another people business, that's all. Yeah, 117 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 1: that's true. All right. We'll have part two of Steve's 118 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:47,120 Speaker 1: response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. 119 00:06:47,279 --> 00:06:51,400 Speaker 1: Today's subject he tells his sister everything. We'll get back 120 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:57,080 Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening show, all right, 121 00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:00,600 Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject 122 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:06,000 Speaker 1: is he tells his sister everything. Well, he does all 123 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 1: the time. You and the girl with friends in high school, 124 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 1: y'all work together, y'all such good friends. Y'all got an 125 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 1: apartment together until you started dating her brother. Y'all been 126 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 1: together six years now, and because you started dating her 127 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,280 Speaker 1: brother got a little awkward. She stayed in your business 128 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:25,160 Speaker 1: and walked in on y'all having sex one time. Well, 129 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,840 Speaker 1: you said, enough of this, I'm moving out. I can't 130 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 1: take this no more. The brother, which is your husband 131 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 1: now decides, hey, let's get out an apartment together. You said, okay, 132 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 1: but every day to the first week, she was over 133 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:39,840 Speaker 1: there every night because she said she couldn't sleep alone. 134 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 1: I remember now, this was your husband, her brother's idea, 135 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:48,680 Speaker 1: get the party. And the reason she's in y'all's business 136 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,080 Speaker 1: that she comes at you rude now because she resents 137 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:54,120 Speaker 1: you because you wouldn't stop to her coming over. She 138 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 1: comes at you rude. It wrong a lot because she's lonely, bitter, 139 00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:01,800 Speaker 1: in need a relationship of her own. He asked me 140 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:06,760 Speaker 1: to look over her and says she's jealous because you 141 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,440 Speaker 1: got a man and she don't. I just said that, 142 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:14,080 Speaker 1: but that that don't help your situation out. On the 143 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,119 Speaker 1: other hand, he keeps bringing her entire relationship by telling 144 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:21,160 Speaker 1: her all y'all bids. She made a snide remark about 145 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,640 Speaker 1: me being a Nimick, saying she hope I don't pass 146 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:27,840 Speaker 1: out doing sex because I won't take iron peel. I 147 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: don't take iron peels myself. Uh damn Neil, but not 148 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:42,280 Speaker 1: quite iron. I don't know off going to sleep immediately 149 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,719 Speaker 1: and passing out, it's the same thing. But I had 150 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:52,040 Speaker 1: that experience before. I uh, I let that slide. But 151 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,200 Speaker 1: then you yell at your husband later. She told your 152 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 1: mother in law not to expect any grant baby soon 153 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 1: because I still want my husband to wrap it up 154 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:04,560 Speaker 1: doing sex. Now. Your husband just running his mouth need 155 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:08,199 Speaker 1: me and iron peel. You know you're making him were 156 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:11,040 Speaker 1: a condom. He's just running his damn mount. I'm gonna 157 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:12,960 Speaker 1: tell you why that is in a minute. Is a second. 158 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,959 Speaker 1: It's been one thing after another, but the final straw 159 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 1: when you overheard your husband telling his sister that he 160 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 1: wishes I was a bit most submissive and not a 161 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:26,600 Speaker 1: headstrong black business woman in pursuit of her career. That's 162 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 1: interest or he told me that too, But he know 163 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,160 Speaker 1: I'm not slowing down anytime soon. I'm about to open 164 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:38,400 Speaker 1: up another salon sweet for Neil now, she saying, seems 165 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 1: like the two of them team up to hate me together, 166 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,120 Speaker 1: and at this point he gossips to her like a woman. 167 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 1: Why does he feel the need to share so much 168 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,640 Speaker 1: with his sister when he knows she's hateful? It's he 169 00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:52,280 Speaker 1: a hater too. Well, let me answer all those questions. 170 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:57,280 Speaker 1: Number one. Obviously, this goes back to their past. They 171 00:09:57,320 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 1: were very close growing up. Now here's what your husband. 172 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:08,720 Speaker 1: Your man is a sister boy. That's the same thing 173 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: as a mama's boy. He said, he tucked up under 174 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 1: his sister. Sometimes you can be closer to your sister 175 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 1: than your mother if you all grow up close in 176 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 1: the relationship, even as a child. And there are a 177 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:26,440 Speaker 1: lot of sister boys out there, which is almost as 178 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:31,960 Speaker 1: bad as a mama except sister boy is an unknown term, 179 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,480 Speaker 1: so you don't know what to call. But I just 180 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:38,640 Speaker 1: gave me. You're married to a sister boy. He was 181 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,280 Speaker 1: so close to his sister growing up that closeness has 182 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:45,640 Speaker 1: remained and they're friends and friends tell each other everything. 183 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:49,440 Speaker 1: That's why I was never friends with my sister because 184 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:51,840 Speaker 1: what I was doing in no way I could repeat 185 00:10:51,880 --> 00:11:00,040 Speaker 1: your my sister, You, on the other half, had the 186 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,640 Speaker 1: direct opposite. So now let me introduce you to a 187 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:06,680 Speaker 1: new term. Your man is a sister. Boy, he's closer 188 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 1: to his sister than his mother, and sometimes he latches 189 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:15,800 Speaker 1: own to not the apron streams, but the friendship. All right, 190 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,400 Speaker 1: And now let me share something else with you. You ask, 191 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,960 Speaker 1: why does he feel the need to share so much 192 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:24,200 Speaker 1: with his sister when he knows she's hateful. The answer 193 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:27,920 Speaker 1: to that question is your man, listen to this one careful, 194 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:35,520 Speaker 1: has at least one unmanly characteristic, because running your private 195 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:40,599 Speaker 1: business about your woman to other people is not respected 196 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:47,280 Speaker 1: or known as a manly characteristic. So your man has 197 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 1: one unmanly characteristic, and it's a dangerous characteristic to have, 198 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 1: because now he running his mouth, he gossip. See, you 199 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,800 Speaker 1: can't gossip about your woman to your boys, because we 200 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 1: know not to do that. I ain't sitting up with 201 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,720 Speaker 1: my boys. I'm a man. My girl will be talking 202 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 1: about this and she where it is, and she say this, 203 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:10,720 Speaker 1: and I don't do that, and I show can't do 204 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,560 Speaker 1: that to know other woman. So now you got a 205 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:17,439 Speaker 1: dangerous situation. Lastly, but not late, not not last but 206 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 1: not You ask him when he knows she's hateful, it 207 00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:24,640 Speaker 1: is he a hat too? They are both haters, and 208 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,280 Speaker 1: you saw the signs of this before you married you, 209 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,080 Speaker 1: but you married him anyway. You knew they was too 210 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:35,200 Speaker 1: close before you got man. You saw the sign. You 211 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,800 Speaker 1: knew who he was before you married it. He'd been 212 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,880 Speaker 1: scared of his sister and his mama the whole time. 213 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,440 Speaker 1: So now you got a sister's boy. Congratulations, good luck. 214 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 1: But you can't put a stop to this by saying, 215 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,640 Speaker 1: if you tell one more damn thing, I'm gonna slap 216 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 1: all the flavor out your mom. Sister boy, all right, 217 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:56,720 Speaker 1: like sister boy, all right? Hit us up on Instagram 218 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:59,760 Speaker 1: at Steve Harvey FM dot com and if you want 219 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:01,920 Speaker 1: to come, I'm on today's Strawberry Letter. You can also 220 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 1: check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming 221 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:09,680 Speaker 1: up next to his sports talk with Junior and he's ready, 222 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:13,080 Speaker 1: so you'd be ready right after them. You're listening to 223 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 1: the Stave Harvey Morning Show.