Speaker 1: Ka Boom Bob. If you thought more hours a day,
Speaker 1: minutes a week was enough, I think again. He's the
Speaker 1: last remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
Speaker 1: He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as
Speaker 1: the rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house
Speaker 1: of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth
Speaker 1: Hour with Ben Maller starts right now. The mail is
Speaker 1: about to be delivered here in the air everywhere. Run
Speaker 1: for the hills because it's the Sunday mail Bag. No
Speaker 1: movers and shakers on. We go above and beyond the
Speaker 1: call of duty as we provide you with marginal podcasting,
Speaker 1: even on a Sunday. Sunday Sunday, the calm before the
Speaker 1: storm of the NFL Draft is sure to cause a stir.
Speaker 1: We're here because four hours a night aren't enough. We
Speaker 1: do this eight day, do we? At least I do
Speaker 1: a spinoff of the Overnight Show. We do not have
Speaker 1: to walk on eggshells here because it's a podcast, not
Speaker 1: the normal trial and tribulations, the grind of the radio show.
Speaker 1: And here we are yet again, and David Gas Scott
Speaker 1: Box the Sunday Podcast for snicky wrong. Yes, I am
Speaker 1: back and uh I will open up our mailbag session
Speaker 1: for today as I I will hide. Yes, I'm a
Speaker 1: pilot sent the messages that right, you want to read
Speaker 1: a glowing email from I'm a pilot who's did not
Speaker 1: but I did discover yesterday, uh Friday or it's gonna
Speaker 1: be Saturday, that that you were sam bagging a lot
Speaker 1: of reviews and comments on the show, and so I
Speaker 1: had to extract those, put those on my desktop and
Speaker 1: I am I'm gonna crick kick off the mailbag edition
Speaker 1: for today's for today show. So this is another we
Speaker 1: call this the bow Guard your bow guarding the podcast. Okay,
Speaker 1: bow guard, there we go ahead, boguards kick this thing off.
Speaker 1: First of all, Um, title is from Seattle. John. He says,
Speaker 1: shock jock Radio gave it a try, really hard to
Speaker 1: listen to him talking about you. Typical shock jock radio.
Speaker 1: UM can't have its moments. But this should not be
Speaker 1: a national media show but a local one. This guy's
Speaker 1: a l a hawk, especially his whole crew annoying. That's
Speaker 1: from MP dream thirty four. Um, I've been listening to
Speaker 1: BED for almost two years. I love the radio show
Speaker 1: podcast but this fifth our podcast is the best. That
Speaker 1: is from Vague or Vegan, Mary Mallarin, Gascon or Radio Goal.
Speaker 1: They must listen to. It's j W I H t
Speaker 1: X gave the five stars Burner account. Steve from Seattle
Speaker 1: says right in this review to let the corner office
Speaker 1: people know I'm listening to the fifth Hour because five
Speaker 1: days a week is not enough. It's a good one.
Speaker 1: Um Bill R R l It says, fantastic Gascon is awesome.
Speaker 1: Love this podcast, Ben at his best. Um, how about
Speaker 1: this from B nine O two one ten, A sports
Speaker 1: supplement for your ears when sports are shut down? Was
Speaker 1: a word about filling the void. Not only has been
Speaker 1: and his company filled the void, but their content, whether
Speaker 1: game shows, cooking, social commentary, and just down to earth
Speaker 1: people talking about sports in life now have created a
Speaker 1: listener who is not even missing sports. I'm still amazed
Speaker 1: at how this show could be filled with entertaining content
Speaker 1: while no sports are played. They're feeling these are all old.
Speaker 1: I mean, these are all you going way back in
Speaker 1: the hot, tough times. All right, these are sand bags.
Speaker 1: I gotta acknowledge him. Well, well, no, I mean this
Speaker 1: is a lie bio mission because you left out. Here's
Speaker 1: one from John. How about with these? Ben Maller is
Speaker 1: the voice of the people. Ben Maller is the voice
Speaker 1: of the people. That is a fresh take, as in
Speaker 1: John the Jailer as a few days ago, as I
Speaker 1: continue it says the Fifth Hour is like finding a
Speaker 1: twenty dollar bill on the sidewalk. Just great luck that
Speaker 1: we get more hours of it. Keep it up, fellas
Speaker 1: um from Rich and Kim. Great chemistry. Ben and Dave
Speaker 1: have a great chemistry and seem to really enjoy each
Speaker 1: other while performing on the podcast. Both very knowledgeable and
Speaker 1: the topics are timely. The conversations are entertaining. Their interviews
Speaker 1: are always outstanding as well, obviously me asking the good
Speaker 1: questions you're asking? Is this guy drug? What a terrible show?
Speaker 1: The segments are awful. What an embarrassment for Fox? As
Speaker 1: in Dallas? More monologues, less games from Ragmanlogue Uh never
Speaker 1: missed podcasts on the Radio Show or The Fifth Hour?
Speaker 1: Both are fun. Listen to seventy years. Listen to read
Speaker 1: Everyone I Got. This is not a mailback, This is
Speaker 1: just reading reviews. This is terrible. How about some brevity?
Speaker 1: He makes it a little bit of brevity so long winded.
Speaker 1: He says, p one from Vermont, that's a good one.
Speaker 1: I'm just please, economy of language. Wait a minute, I
Speaker 1: get to please. They wrote this out for us to
Speaker 1: consume it and to read it. But but they're not
Speaker 1: on a mailbag. This is not but you're you're You're afraid,
Speaker 1: you're you are afraid of the questions that are gonna
Speaker 1: be asked. Wait, why why can we please get to
Speaker 1: the mailbag? This is not the mailbag. This is you
Speaker 1: cherry picking random reviews to make you look good and
Speaker 1: leaving out the ones that say how terrible you are.
Speaker 1: Spare you. So I'm gonna I'm gonna give you a
Speaker 1: little bit of insight into what these questions will be.
Speaker 1: It'll be from Pierre washing your balls, Pierre trying to
Speaker 1: fucking scrub your nuts, from Pierre trying to eat your ass,
Speaker 1: and then from Pierre trying to jealous about water jealous.
Speaker 1: Just well, how about we find out the questions? How
Speaker 1: about that? How about wet we find the damn questions out? All? Right?
Speaker 1: Here we go, uh Andy in Augusta, Maine rights and
Speaker 1: he says, which were you what were your go to
Speaker 1: mall stores? When you were in high school, he says,
Speaker 1: he loves the show. Well, Andy, I you're back in
Speaker 1: those days. You didn't have the the videos. I would
Speaker 1: go to the arcade, uh and they had the hot
Speaker 1: dog on a stick, they had the the orange Julius.
Speaker 1: You'd go that did a lot of shopping at the
Speaker 1: mall was I'm trying to think what stores? What was
Speaker 1: the the storre still around where they had like the
Speaker 1: weird products, the weird electrical devices that were kind of
Speaker 1: you know, you go to the mall. What what's the
Speaker 1: name of yah? Drawing a blank here? What city did
Speaker 1: you go into? What? What mall? I grew up in
Speaker 1: Orange County, so South Coast Plaza, the Hills down south.
Speaker 1: There was a mall there, Mission Viejo, places like that.
Speaker 1: But what's the name of that store? Though they got
Speaker 1: the weird stuff, it's a chain, national chain. I don't
Speaker 1: want to say it was like high tech, but I
Speaker 1: forget I know. Yeah, all right, uh so you nobody here,
Speaker 1: what I care about your your stores? I don't think
Speaker 1: you know you did the same probably yeah, arcades and yeah,
Speaker 1: all right? What what happened to Kentucky? J and K
Speaker 1: Mike writes, Uh, I don't know. I hope they're okay.
Speaker 1: We we love Kentucky J and K. They have not
Speaker 1: sent a question in a fair amount of time. I
Speaker 1: hope everything's all right with them. Very kind, beautiful little
Speaker 1: daughter there. What's that the bourbon? Remember during Oh? Yeah
Speaker 1: the bourbon? Yeah he does that. But I I have
Speaker 1: the Hilltoppers hat in my rotation compliments of Kentucky J
Speaker 1: and K, and we thanked them for that. But I
Speaker 1: don't know what happened to them. I maybe they're just
Speaker 1: listening and not contributing, or maybe they're just not listening.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe we said Gascon likely said something
Speaker 1: that annoyed them and then they stopped listening. That's my theory.
Speaker 1: Carlos in Houston writes in now why does the gascon?
Speaker 1: Why do the guests got critics? Why does he criticize
Speaker 1: your work ethic? Why does guests got criticize your work at? Uh?
Speaker 1: And he hates to actually show up and do the show.
Speaker 1: He can't even record a fucking podcast. Doesn't he claim
Speaker 1: that the podcast is his baby, so he needs to
Speaker 1: show up every week? Yeah, I guess, Scott, and you
Speaker 1: respond to sponsor Carlos and Bang Bang Houston. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is this is not my baby. It's uh, this thing
Speaker 1: would be uh, actually, I'll leave that colorful comment to myself.
Speaker 1: But now it's not my baby. Interesting, but you would
Speaker 1: admit you have said things like that, and you like
Speaker 1: to claim you have some work ethic, but you don't
Speaker 1: usually show up to the body. My work ethic has
Speaker 1: never been questioned, never questioned every week on this show.
Speaker 1: But those are idiots that are questioning it. You included, uh, Carlos,
Speaker 1: look in the mirror, Buddy. Carlos says, we all know
Speaker 1: you hate retired numbers, Ben, but are you a fan
Speaker 1: of baseball retiring number forty two? Now? I wouldn't retire
Speaker 1: any numbers. I I would if you want to put
Speaker 1: the Ring of honor. I think everyone should do the
Speaker 1: Ring of Honor, and you're gonna have Jackie Robinson and
Speaker 1: everyone's Ring of Honor. But I wouldn't retire numbers across
Speaker 1: the board. That's just not not my thing. Is I
Speaker 1: think it's lame. I think it's dumb. I think it's
Speaker 1: it's It started out as a nice thing. It used
Speaker 1: to be done when people would die, athletes would die,
Speaker 1: while they were playing, you know, during their careers. Now
Speaker 1: it's just gotten absurd, so stupid. Berry from the Music
Speaker 1: City says yo Yo mob Benny twenty two minutes past
Speaker 1: the hour as I write this, them says, I'm not
Speaker 1: sure how anyone can dislike Marcel's calls. Well, plenty of
Speaker 1: people do. Berry. I should show you some of the
Speaker 1: email like it. Why do you put that guy on?
Speaker 1: He's a moron? Blah blah blah. All right, uh, he says.
Speaker 1: The NBA released a statement on the shopping case there
Speaker 1: in Minnesota and apparently, uh the First Take show on
Speaker 1: ESPN spent the entire show on the topic. When do
Speaker 1: you think this in fusion of politics and sports will
Speaker 1: be out of sports? And please don't say never, you won't.
Speaker 1: Well at ESPN, I don't see that changing. I think
Speaker 1: that's just their business model there. The you know, they're
Speaker 1: trying to get democratic fans to watch and they don't
Speaker 1: really care about Republican fans. I think that's pretty obvious.
Speaker 1: I don't think based on their position politically, I don't
Speaker 1: think they'll change it. Fox e Tho though, uh no,
Speaker 1: you know it could. They could lessen it, but it's
Speaker 1: hard as we always say, we use the line to
Speaker 1: put the toothpaste back in the tube, or to unpeel,
Speaker 1: to unpeel the orange and then put the orange back together.
Speaker 1: The one they can't unpeel the orange is once you
Speaker 1: peel that, that's it. Now you can try to put
Speaker 1: it back together, but it's not gonna the same. The
Speaker 1: only unfortunate thing is you get guys that get out
Speaker 1: in front of certain topics like this, and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, if the roles or get reversed or
Speaker 1: something goes against their narrative, they're nowhere to be fucking
Speaker 1: Seen's it's you know, run and hide and don't don't respond. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's Lebron, right, that's what Ron does. He just move on.
Speaker 1: And the greatest example of that was the story with
Speaker 1: the tweet the Raiders sent out. He had all this
Speaker 1: virtue signaling and all these oh I'm offended, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I can't believe the Raiders tweeted that out. And to
Speaker 1: Mark Davis's credit, he didn't bow down to the mob
Speaker 1: of lunatics cyber thugs. He didn't bow down to him.
Speaker 1: All the wokesters woke mcwoke and uh, it was really funny.
Speaker 1: Some hack columnists. Somebody sent the story on NAHU. Some
Speaker 1: hack columnists wrote a story condemning the Raiders for what
Speaker 1: they had done, and Uh. The next day, George Floyd's
Speaker 1: brother comes out and says, no problem with the Raiders. Oh,
Speaker 1: I loved it. It was so good. He just buried.
Speaker 1: George Floyd's brother buried all these these hacks in the
Speaker 1: media was outstanding. Out body blow, body blow, body blow.
Speaker 1: All right, Ozzy Momentum rights and he said, so, I
Speaker 1: want to know what sport you are a hund percent
Speaker 1: sure you could beat the other in. For example, Guesscon
Speaker 1: could be fairly confident of beating being better than Ben
Speaker 1: at baseball given that disgraceful pitch Ben throughout at Bakersfield.
Speaker 1: And Ben could be confident that he could beat Gascon
Speaker 1: at tennis given Gascon's shoulder being held together by duct
Speaker 1: tape and his petulance for whining. Yeah, well, first of all,
Speaker 1: you're wrong, Ozzy Momentum about that first pitch. I was
Speaker 1: ahead of my time. In fact, that first pitch, that
Speaker 1: lollipop breaking ball, Uh, was outstanding, and it was stolen
Speaker 1: by a Minnesota twin. All right, we all saw in Anaheim.
Speaker 1: While back there Angels and Twins blowout game the great
Speaker 1: Asta Dio with a fat guy on the mound, and
Speaker 1: he threw the Mallard pitch, the Mallard special. But let's
Speaker 1: let's be our guesscon he's a quitter. He he's not
Speaker 1: a competitie, doesn't have the fighting spirit. I would beat
Speaker 1: him at anything. I would dominate him at any moneyball.
Speaker 1: Mallard from the outside, I'd kill you one on one
Speaker 1: game of a game of ben I would beat you
Speaker 1: at that. You wouldn't be able to win that. You
Speaker 1: have the chances bowling, and no, that's of course I
Speaker 1: would win it bowling. But football dominate right throw the
Speaker 1: ball further than you baseball. I'm a football player. I'm
Speaker 1: a crafty right hander. I'm a crafty right hander. Uh
Speaker 1: do very well at that. Not hockey. You can't hockey.
Speaker 1: I would be wonderful. I've been on the ice with
Speaker 1: the Stanley Cup twice in my life. I have been there,
Speaker 1: so that's absolutely something. I've spent time with Lord Stanley Cup,
Speaker 1: so that thing. But I've been there right when they
Speaker 1: hoisted the cup right there, and you have no agility,
Speaker 1: no balance, no coordination, Your sites fucked up. Your hearing
Speaker 1: is not good to you. My sites? Fine, man, that's good.
Speaker 1: Called glasses. None of these things called glasses. Maybe maybe bowling,
Speaker 1: maybe ping pong, but boxing, oh god, you'd have no shot.
Speaker 1: You would have no chance in boxing. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: it would be a blood bath. Dave and Mill Valley, California,
Speaker 1: right there, just a little bit, just a wee bit,
Speaker 1: north of San Francisco, says what what what? What are you?
Speaker 1: What are you laughing? Because San Francisco is a cesspool?
Speaker 1: Now he lives in Mill Valley, north, this in Marin County.
Speaker 1: I think, right, yeah, right, all right, Hey bet you
Speaker 1: often use the verbs hoodwink, the bamboos, al than hornswaggled.
Speaker 1: They are three of my all time favorite words. Please
Speaker 1: list them in order of your preference. Yeah, and he says,
Speaker 1: I'd also like to know what Big Mike thinks, or
Speaker 1: you could ask gas Can on the off chance he
Speaker 1: actually shows up. Instead, Well, it's actually big mix in
Speaker 1: this week. Uh No, I love horn swoggled. That's my favorite.
Speaker 1: I don't use it enough. I think it's a fun word.
Speaker 1: It's a great word. It's an underused word. Hornswoggled. Then
Speaker 1: it's a toss up a slightly mean two bamboozled, and
Speaker 1: then hoodwinked would be third. But clearly the leader in
Speaker 1: the clubhouse is horns walk. Yeah, it's good, it's solid word. Uh,
Speaker 1: let's see here. David from simple Sonville, South Carolina says,
Speaker 1: are there any hats you would be uncomfortable having? San
Speaker 1: Francisco Giants had the stros about the Podres, and David says,
Speaker 1: as the hat gifter, I need to know thanks for
Speaker 1: all the shows. Well, thank you, David. No, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be against the Padres thing, but they're blood rival with Dodgers.
Speaker 1: It would be inappropriate to wear Padre had But I
Speaker 1: worked in San Diego and I used to go to
Speaker 1: Podre games when I worked there, and I loved it.
Speaker 1: Had great members. Are going to Potre games when there
Speaker 1: was no one there and they have fire sale And
Speaker 1: it was Tony Gwynn in the the eight students that
Speaker 1: were out there for the Padres and but but I
Speaker 1: had fun members of that. Uh. But no, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: wear a Giant's hat. You know, I'm really shifted. We
Speaker 1: talked about this a couple of weeks ago, but I've
Speaker 1: shifted more to minor league hats that in college. I
Speaker 1: like college hats. I like obscure college hats, minor league hats.
Speaker 1: That's that's really what I'm gravitating too. In any hat
Speaker 1: with a be on it, any hat with a be
Speaker 1: on it, or an m I think there's a hat
Speaker 1: at the studio, Is that right? I think so? Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I gotta come in there. I gotta get get
Speaker 1: in there. Maybe i'll swing by. Maybe I will. Have
Speaker 1: you opened that? I mean, you open all my mail.
Speaker 1: From what I understand, I could open it. I'll take
Speaker 1: a look at it. I wonder if it fits me.
Speaker 1: I don't open you No, No, don't don't open my mail.
Speaker 1: You've already opened enough in my mail. John the jailer
Speaker 1: from alan Town, Pennsylvania, rights scene. He says, been given
Speaker 1: your vast radio game show experience. Why were you not
Speaker 1: considered to be the next host of Jeopardy? Just imagine
Speaker 1: he's easy World where the militia is on Jeopardy. You'd
Speaker 1: have beer drinking Brian half pint reading video answers, Oh,
Speaker 1: that'd be great. A Mallard militia category. I drove a
Speaker 1: bus around San Francisco, walked on hold to a sports
Speaker 1: talk radio show. Who am I? You know I could
Speaker 1: do that? I got? What was it? Oh? You know,
Speaker 1: here's a good one. I won a radio game show
Speaker 1: while sleeping. I also got kicked out of my house
Speaker 1: for shouting on the same radio show. Who am I
Speaker 1: be a good one? Right? Good? I called up a
Speaker 1: radio show the night the astro scandal started and said
Speaker 1: it was all fake and photoshopped. Who am I? Wonder
Speaker 1: who that could be? Wonder who that one could be?
Speaker 1: I once showed up to a B LM rally and
Speaker 1: shouted the Ben Mallard show at that rally, Who am I?
Speaker 1: That's one of the greats? Ed from Spokane? Oh God,
Speaker 1: what a character? Ed and Christina I have not hurt
Speaker 1: and I called the show this week. I did not
Speaker 1: hear from them this week. I don't think, unless unless
Speaker 1: maybe I missed it. All right, who else do we
Speaker 1: have here? Let's see page But I should be a
Speaker 1: Jeopardy host, although I got people from Jeopardy sent me
Speaker 1: a cease and assists, so I don't think they like me. Hello,
Speaker 1: Lord Ben Jose Right soon, he says, I'm originally from
Speaker 1: northern California. I grew up a Giants fan watching Will Clark,
Speaker 1: Matt Williams, Kevin Mitchell, Willy Wagee. He says I moved
Speaker 1: to Massachusetts. Hey, you didn't mention. No, I don't like
Speaker 1: the Giants, but my favorite giant of all time. You
Speaker 1: know who it is? Guesscan favorite giant of all time?
Speaker 1: I was gonna say Matt Williams or jeff Kenn. Matt Williams,
Speaker 1: Doe she I gotta argument with him in the locker.
Speaker 1: The one is Jeffrey Leonard, the Hackman. Jeffrey Leonard, my
Speaker 1: all time favorite. Johannt He gave me a baseball when
Speaker 1: I was a kid. He was playing for the Brewers
Speaker 1: at the time. But I still still have fond memories
Speaker 1: of that was one of the great moments of my childhood.
Speaker 1: I during a game foul ball in the right field
Speaker 1: corner of the Big A had seats right near the
Speaker 1: foul poll. I ran over, fat kid, and Jeffrey Leonard
Speaker 1: came over, scooped the ball up and tossed it and
Speaker 1: I caught it, and I was outstanding. I didn't I
Speaker 1: was worried it's gonna drop it. Didn't drop it. I
Speaker 1: liked Kevin Mitchell back in the day, I made one
Speaker 1: of the great catches in baseball history, one handed, bare
Speaker 1: handed catch Bush Stadium in St. Louis. I don't like
Speaker 1: Will Clark because he's he was a dick and he
Speaker 1: he killed me when he was at the Atlanta No.
Speaker 1: He was with the Cardinals against the Atlanta Breaks. I
Speaker 1: had a huge bet on the break for that, he says.
Speaker 1: As a kid, baseball was my number one football as
Speaker 1: as a as a kid, football was one. Uh and
Speaker 1: and two Basketball three? I baseball was when he said, uh,
Speaker 1: football too? In Basketball three he wrote that weird. Uh,
Speaker 1: he says, Now football is number one. I haven't watched
Speaker 1: baseball game in three years. Analytics have ruined it for me.
Speaker 1: The same with basketball. Everything is a foul, no defense,
Speaker 1: and all the players are selfish, soft like gag on
Speaker 1: you a bad example for kids. That's a good point, Jose.
Speaker 1: Do you think you'll ever get to that point? PS
Speaker 1: bring back Brian Finlay? Why that you ruined me with
Speaker 1: that last line? Uh? Do I do? I Will I
Speaker 1: ever get to the point where I'll be the bitter,
Speaker 1: jaded old guy. Uh? I'd like to think that I
Speaker 1: love sports. It's changed the way I watch sports has
Speaker 1: changed with the politics policizing of sports. But no, I
Speaker 1: not on think it's gonna you know, I'm gonna completely stop.
Speaker 1: I'd like to think not, but you never know what
Speaker 1: the you know what the what the future hold holds.
Speaker 1: And and I hear from guys all the time, and
Speaker 1: I'm not watching sports because of politics, and I I
Speaker 1: don't agree with the politics of a lot of these
Speaker 1: idiots in sports, but I still think it's stupid to
Speaker 1: not watch. I mean, just because somebody has a different viewpoint.
Speaker 1: I just don't like being preached to. I don't care
Speaker 1: le Bron James is a lunatic politically, that's he can
Speaker 1: do whatever he wants. But if you're preaching from the
Speaker 1: bully pulpit, that is to me, that's I don't I
Speaker 1: don't watch sports for that. So but you know, everyone
Speaker 1: has the right to have their own viewpoint. I don't
Speaker 1: don't care about that right to be wrong. Um, but
Speaker 1: you don't like if if I worked for somebody that
Speaker 1: I didn't agree with him, I gonna quit my job.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's that's how that would go anyway.
Speaker 1: In any response to Jose is a big fan of
Speaker 1: your work, he says soft, like a gag on. I
Speaker 1: don't know what his problem is. You're the problem. Did
Speaker 1: you kick out Findling or something? We I was he
Speaker 1: talking about bringing him back? No, I diin't. I ain't know.
Speaker 1: He's he's a Findley is a stalker. He's a creepy guy.
Speaker 1: He's like the Deshaun Watson, Oh boy of the radio.
Speaker 1: That's what I hear. I don't know. That's what you
Speaker 1: told me off the year? Is that not said that
Speaker 1: to you? You told me that off the year. I'm
Speaker 1: just repeating what you told me. I never have disparaging
Speaker 1: remarks for for my colleagues here, and that's a line.
Speaker 1: That's a lie. Nobody gossips more than you. You're like
Speaker 1: a schoolyard girl. He just gossip gossip. Gossip. People tell
Speaker 1: me if things. Be sure to catch live editions of
Speaker 1: The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven
Speaker 1: pm Pacific. Be sure to catch live editions of The
Speaker 1: Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm
Speaker 1: Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app.
Speaker 1: Mitch and Fort Collins, Colorado. Ever been to Fort Collins?
Speaker 1: I have, yes, fan, No not a fan. I like it.
Speaker 1: I mean I like Denver better, but yeah, Colorado is
Speaker 1: a great state, alright, Mitch, Right, So, and he says
Speaker 1: that have you watched the documentary? Assume you have Baseball
Speaker 1: by Ken Burns, the PBS documentary. I don't know how
Speaker 1: I've missed it my entire life, but I watched it
Speaker 1: on PBS over the weekend. I enjoyed the history telling.
Speaker 1: I was wondering, you know, what you thought of it,
Speaker 1: and if you have any suggestions on other cool baseball
Speaker 1: history books or documentaries that every fan should have in
Speaker 1: their library. Uh. Yeah, I mean there's a bunch of
Speaker 1: baseball documentaries that you know it's hard. Off the top
Speaker 1: of my head, the Baseball Card one, which is it
Speaker 1: was made a couple of years ago, exposing the upper
Speaker 1: deck scandal again opening up a wound. If you're around
Speaker 1: my age, I don't know how hold your, Mitch, but
Speaker 1: maybe you're a little younger, maybe a little older. But
Speaker 1: that was a big one for me. There was a
Speaker 1: documentary about a minor league baseball team in Oregon in
Speaker 1: Portland that was pretty good. I saw that. Oh and Screwball.
Speaker 1: Remember Screwball? That was the one about Alex Rodriguez and
Speaker 1: the Biogenesis Clinic. That was a very good documentary. That
Speaker 1: was a few years ago. And I have a fond
Speaker 1: memory of the Baseball documentary from Ken Burns. I was
Speaker 1: working at the Mighty six ninety in San Diego when
Speaker 1: that came out in the nineties, and I was I
Speaker 1: was a lowly peon at the radio station, and they
Speaker 1: felt bad for me because I was I was getting
Speaker 1: no money and I was a you know, low man
Speaker 1: on the Total Bowl and they hooked me up with
Speaker 1: the Baseball and that was a big deal. I have
Speaker 1: the I had. I just got rid of it recently.
Speaker 1: But the VHS copy that's a whole long ago. This
Speaker 1: was of the Ken Burns Baseball documentary, but it was
Speaker 1: well done. He also says, Mitch, do you think they
Speaker 1: should make a sequel to cover the nineties the steroid here,
Speaker 1: the cheating, as strows, well, that would be great. I
Speaker 1: I actually subscribe to the doc PBS as like a documentary.
Speaker 1: I love documentary, so they have a documentary streaming service.
Speaker 1: It's pretty much all ken burn stuff, which is cool.
Speaker 1: And uh, and you know, Burns his great I thought
Speaker 1: I were trying to cancel him. Weren't they the lunatics
Speaker 1: trying to cancel Ken Burns? The uh, the woke mob
Speaker 1: was upset because Ken's white and that's problematic and they
Speaker 1: had to get him out of there. And there's a
Speaker 1: lot of layers though with baseball these days, just the nineties,
Speaker 1: like you mentioned the ownership that turned a blind eye
Speaker 1: to that stuff, and then you know the Red Sox
Speaker 1: one of the World Series, and people are ending the
Speaker 1: Curse of the banding of the Cubs, ending the curse
Speaker 1: of the Billy Goat. Well, you could just talk to
Speaker 1: about Manny and David Ortiz, right, Like those are two
Speaker 1: guys that were using p E. D s that obviously
Speaker 1: helped them get over the top them come. But just
Speaker 1: just you could do two documentaries, one each on the
Speaker 1: Curse of the ban Being, which I'm sure has already
Speaker 1: been done, and then the Billy Goat and or combine
Speaker 1: those things together. Nome. When I was a kid, I
Speaker 1: my brother moved to New York when I was in
Speaker 1: high school, and I went back to visit him. First time,
Speaker 1: went to a Yankee game at the old Yankee Stadium
Speaker 1: and they were playing the Red Sox and the Red
Speaker 1: Sox weren't very good. But I still remember I and
Speaker 1: the bleachers because I wanted to be in the bleachers
Speaker 1: because I had heard things about the bleacher creatures and
Speaker 1: it was pretty well because there were like women fighting
Speaker 1: with women in the bleachers. The Yankee state in the
Speaker 1: game I went to. It was pretty crazy. But now
Speaker 1: I heard it's all corporate. Now it's all they've raised
Speaker 1: the prices and everything. But it was expensive then. But
Speaker 1: the fans like the Red Sox. Uh anytime the Yankees
Speaker 1: did anything, and the Yankee Bleacher Creatures were nineteen eighteen nineteen.
Speaker 1: It was great. It was out standing. Fond memories of that. Emmett,
Speaker 1: the blind Seahawk fan, this kid is the breakout star.
Speaker 1: What a wonderful caller he is. He's better than the
Speaker 1: grown ups and he's only in high school, sixteen years old.
Speaker 1: This kid really talented. He's going places. Blind him the
Speaker 1: Seahawk fan says, uh, did you fire Gagon? Yes, we
Speaker 1: re hired him, but we fired him last week. Emmett
Speaker 1: also says, what is the best dish you can make? Well? None, Emmett, none.
Speaker 1: The Mallard pizza is bone appetite. It is year. But
Speaker 1: I was so good this. It was so good, you dummy,
Speaker 1: that I had to eat it fast. I couldn't wait
Speaker 1: to get it into my mouth. I was savoring every
Speaker 1: little it was. It was a medley for my taste, Budge.
Speaker 1: It was so yummy, it was amazing. You're stress eating
Speaker 1: because you could not get a media credential from the Rams,
Speaker 1: so you went home you burned. That is true. But
Speaker 1: I like, I'm gonna stick into the Rams because they
Speaker 1: were they were playing the Buccaneers who had Jamis Winston,
Speaker 1: who were terrible, and they wouldn't let me in. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the team I I suck up to every night on
Speaker 1: the radio and giving them publicity, these assholes, and they
Speaker 1: wouldn't let me in, Like those ship bags in Seattle,
Speaker 1: the Seahawks, who wouldn't allow me in there either. Um,
Speaker 1: I guess I'm not allowed at some of these NFL
Speaker 1: state I'm banned from me. I'm like Kaepernick, I'm not
Speaker 1: allowed in the NFL. But uh. But anyway, so I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, my, a pizza and I'll watch the game,
Speaker 1: and I can make a better pizza than I can
Speaker 1: eat Peter Food than if I went to the game.
Speaker 1: And then I I made a delicious pizza, but I
Speaker 1: was so in such a rush to eat it because
Speaker 1: I was hungry. I'd been on a fast and uh yeah,
Speaker 1: a little little uh mouthfeasance on my part eating the
Speaker 1: pizzaster burn your no. But I'm a good no emt.
Speaker 1: I'm a good cook man. I can make uh like
Speaker 1: chicken palm en, chicken parma gena. I make that very
Speaker 1: good chicken fingers. I make a rip off Popeye's chicken sandwich,
Speaker 1: raising cane chicken fingers like it's all delicious. It's finger
Speaker 1: licking good. I guess we can use that because camc
Speaker 1: retired that it's finger licking good. Cheese. I make the
Speaker 1: Philly cheese steak. That's right. I mean this is some Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like it. And that's something I didn't really cook
Speaker 1: until I got married. My wife taught me a little bit,
Speaker 1: and I learned some stuff off YouTube. But I was
Speaker 1: a TV dinner fast food guy before before I got married.
Speaker 1: So it's only been somewhat recently, the last ten years
Speaker 1: or so that I started cooking. Great question, Emvalls fan
Speaker 1: Jimmy from Fayetteville, Tennessee, says, big, have you ever had
Speaker 1: a conflict at the Ugly sweater Christmas party that you
Speaker 1: had to step in between you And has Bella ever
Speaker 1: bitten anyone? Uh? No, I actually have a great Bella
Speaker 1: story that I forgot. Oh, this is great. I'm glad
Speaker 1: you see you triggered this, Jimmy, Have we had any fights? No,
Speaker 1: that the closest we came to a fight was a
Speaker 1: douchebag that showed up and ninety minutes late and complained
Speaker 1: about the food. That was the biggest asshole. And then
Speaker 1: my friend already who gets completely wasted every year and
Speaker 1: starts telling stories of when he was in desert storm
Speaker 1: and uh, it goes rat a tat tat with it.
Speaker 1: He makes the fake gun. That's that's about as far
Speaker 1: as crazy town as we've gone. He doesn't leave until
Speaker 1: like three in the morning. Now he's the last one,
Speaker 1: you know, we have to shepherd him out. He's the
Speaker 1: last one every year at the Mallard Ugly Sweater party.
Speaker 1: But the Bella story. So we've been moving some stuff
Speaker 1: around the Mallard mansion. Again, we'll tell you later why
Speaker 1: we're doing that. But we're moving some stuff around, like
Speaker 1: inside and outside, redecorating some stuff, and uh, you know
Speaker 1: that some stuff was taken outside. And uh, let's just
Speaker 1: say that it was it was a night. I was
Speaker 1: doing the show this week, and I didn't really I
Speaker 1: hadn't seen Bella the Dog my dog in a while.
Speaker 1: I have a studio and I do the show and
Speaker 1: Bella sometimes sits in with me when I do the show.
Speaker 1: Usually not, She's bored with it. Like every woman in
Speaker 1: my life. Anybody in radio knows this. When you tell
Speaker 1: a woman you're dating you're in radio, they were very
Speaker 1: excited to listen to everything you do for the first
Speaker 1: like couple of shows, and then about a week later
Speaker 1: they never listened again. Happens all the time. So so anyways, like, well,
Speaker 1: Bella got bored with me. She's so then like it's
Speaker 1: like two in the morning and I hear this like
Speaker 1: scratching sound on the door, like the door to the
Speaker 1: outside from my studio, and so I hear the scratching sound, right, Like,
Speaker 1: what the fund is that? Is there? Like a wild
Speaker 1: animal out there? Is I got coyote or a skunk?
Speaker 1: And I I opened up the door and I don't
Speaker 1: see anything. I'm like, whoa, Like I'm in the twilight zone, man,
Speaker 1: Like what the funk happened, and so like, all right,
Speaker 1: I go back, I do the show, and then I
Speaker 1: I wrapped up the show and I'm kind of winding
Speaker 1: down and I hear it again, and I text my wife.
Speaker 1: I said, well, there's an animal outside my door and
Speaker 1: it's I looked at I didn't see anything. What is
Speaker 1: going on? And she said, probably Bella. I said, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's not Bella. And I go through the house to
Speaker 1: try to find Bella. Can't find Bella. So I don't
Speaker 1: hear the noise noise anymore. I go back out. I
Speaker 1: then open the door with the flashlight and there is Bella,
Speaker 1: freezing her ass off, shivering, sitting by the door, waiting
Speaker 1: for me to open the door. She had spent all night,
Speaker 1: probably from like seven o'clock in the evening until two
Speaker 1: in the morning or three actually by this point it
Speaker 1: was like three in the morning, uh, sitting outside, And
Speaker 1: so we almost loved Bella could have run away, she
Speaker 1: could have been like in another state by the time
Speaker 1: I figured out that she was outside. That's my Bella story.
Speaker 1: How how cold do you think it was? I mean
Speaker 1: it wasn't that was California cold. I mean, it wasn't
Speaker 1: like cold, cold, but California. But she hasn't for coats,
Speaker 1: so she's all right, yeah, but you since she was shivering, Yeah,
Speaker 1: she seemed annoyed cold and like, hey, asshole, I've been
Speaker 1: out here the whole time. But in my defense, I
Speaker 1: had headphones on most of the time, so I couldn't
Speaker 1: hear it. Got you. Yeah, that's that's that. Kevin and
Speaker 1: Kansas says, Hey, Ben as kids, did you? And David
Speaker 1: he says, this must be a mistake. The best produced,
Speaker 1: the best podcast co host out there, by that's a mistake.
Speaker 1: Bam bamming. Uh did you ever have dreams of playing
Speaker 1: a professional sport when you grew up? And if so,
Speaker 1: did you have a specific player you emulated? Keep the
Speaker 1: podcast coming. Oh yeah, listen, I was an amazing basketball
Speaker 1: player in the Moneyball Mallard originated in the backyard at
Speaker 1: the Mallard mansion. The hoop there had fun, but I
Speaker 1: would play baseball for hours with the tennis ball. We
Speaker 1: used to play street ball in the neighborhood. And we
Speaker 1: had in that house we grew up in, we had
Speaker 1: eucalyptus trees, these giant eucalyptus trees in the in there's
Speaker 1: like a green belt in the middle of the street,
Speaker 1: and so it was perfect. The way the driveway was
Speaker 1: lined up. There were three of these eucalyptus trees, and
Speaker 1: so we had first base, second base, and third base,
Speaker 1: each of each giant these massive trees were were and
Speaker 1: so we did that. But then I would I was
Speaker 1: such a loser. I had no friends for a while
Speaker 1: that I would just for hours throw the tennis ball
Speaker 1: against the wall and I would imagine, you know, I
Speaker 1: was you know, any number of players. I would go
Speaker 1: through the list because I'd watch This Weekend Baseball and
Speaker 1: then I was Dodging fan. But I watched This Weekend
Speaker 1: Baseball and be like, oh, you know, they do some
Speaker 1: vignette on Ozzy Smith, you know, because he was a player,
Speaker 1: a big star in those days, and I'd be the
Speaker 1: Wizard of Oz, you know, and I'd be like, all right,
Speaker 1: and then I'd make these plays back, you know, going
Speaker 1: there and and then uh, you know, behind the back
Speaker 1: throws and things like. I mean, it was crazy. I
Speaker 1: was good, and obviously football, but football I knew I
Speaker 1: was gonna be alignment. So I channeled some of the
Speaker 1: the alignment of the day. What about you guess, and yeah,
Speaker 1: I I mean I thought about growing up, I thought
Speaker 1: about playing outside of basketball. I thought about playing every
Speaker 1: sport professionally. But I was really good in hockey, but
Speaker 1: my parents couldn't afford the insurance for for goal equipment.
Speaker 1: And then, um, I played baseball in college and football
Speaker 1: in college, and I thought I was I was better
Speaker 1: in football, but my dad thinks I had more talented baseball.
Speaker 1: And I'm left handed and I was a picture. Um
Speaker 1: but I love. That's a tough racket though, baseball. Man.
Speaker 1: I had a buddy in high school that was a
Speaker 1: very good player. And actually the first time I went
Speaker 1: to a couple high school with the first high school
Speaker 1: I went to, and he got drafted and he toiled
Speaker 1: in the minor leagues. He never made the big leagues,
Speaker 1: and he was in the minor leagues. He got he
Speaker 1: got you know, double A. Had a couple of buddies
Speaker 1: he got to double A. One guy was with the
Speaker 1: Blue Jays and he was like there. He was their
Speaker 1: second rated minor league prospect in a ball and he
Speaker 1: got to double A and he did okay, and then
Speaker 1: he went to triple and couldn't hit. I just forgot
Speaker 1: how to hit and then he never never made it.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean I grew up. I mean I
Speaker 1: was a huge Broncos fans. I love John Elway, but
Speaker 1: I'm you know, left handed and half any left hand
Speaker 1: quarterbacks outside of Steve Young, and so I tried to
Speaker 1: emulate Shinnon Sharp, you know, as a great ship talker.
Speaker 1: But he was a was a great receiver even at
Speaker 1: tight end. I was a better blocker than new Ones.
Speaker 1: But um, but yeah, man, I Well, the one guy
Speaker 1: that I remember was was like I kept reading these
Speaker 1: mythical lumber lumberjack stories about this guy was Tony Manderidge.
Speaker 1: Who was this offensive lineman. Well he was. He was
Speaker 1: at Michigan State and he was the second overall pick.
Speaker 1: We talked to Ryan Leef the other day, who was
Speaker 1: one of the great NFL draft bus But Tony Manderish
Speaker 1: he didn't get as much attention from being a disaster
Speaker 1: because he was an offensive lineman. But he was drafted
Speaker 1: by the Green Bay Packers in the late eighties and
Speaker 1: was who I guess, he was a total fraud. He
Speaker 1: was all like a steroid guy and he just couldn't play. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I thought I'd read these stories and I believed everything.
Speaker 1: At that time, I was not naive and Jay and
Speaker 1: I believed everything I read, and you know, the eyes
Speaker 1: of a child. I was like, you know, a teenager,
Speaker 1: and I was like, whoa, this guy is great, you know,
Speaker 1: highly touted at Michigan State and and this this guy
Speaker 1: he was in this draft class. Think about the other
Speaker 1: players that draft had Troy Aikman, Barry Sanders, Dion Sanders,
Speaker 1: Derek Thomas, and Tony Mandrich. Who doesn't belong on that list? Man,
Speaker 1: it's I mean, obviously Derrick Thomas passed away too early,
Speaker 1: but fuck yeah, he's the only one of those top
Speaker 1: five picks that did not end up in the Pro
Speaker 1: Football Hall of Unbelievable. Yeah, and that's the guy I
Speaker 1: gravitated to right there. That's my guy that was going
Speaker 1: to be the guy right there that was going to
Speaker 1: be it. So there you go. Pierre in Springfield, Massachusetts.
Speaker 1: He says, Ben, do you and the mrs have any
Speaker 1: attentions of raising offspring or Bella, Gagon and Finley more
Speaker 1: than you can handle? Well, Gagon and Finley, Uh, they
Speaker 1: are children. They act like babies. That is correct, Pierre.
Speaker 1: A good call on that. Ce Pierre has got a
Speaker 1: very good ear. He knows that you are a childlike.
Speaker 1: He is a super duper nut hugger of Ben Mallary.
Speaker 1: He's a quality man. He's a pickle lover and he's quality.
Speaker 1: He likes pickles. I didn't mean like that pert. Wow,
Speaker 1: that guy? Would I know that for a fact? My
Speaker 1: toilet water is good, Jesus, wonderful toilet water. Murray and
Speaker 1: Saskatoon writes in so we're both of you. Who was
Speaker 1: your first girlfriend? And what is she doing now? Also?
Speaker 1: What did you do on your first date with her?
Speaker 1: I have no idea, do you? I have not kept track.
Speaker 1: I guess it wasn't It was like a like a
Speaker 1: junior high school, like like high school type thing. You know?
Speaker 1: Is his a casual? And I went to Newport Beach.
Speaker 1: That was where he went, the right there west of
Speaker 1: the four oh five. Wow, wow, Gascan, your first girlfriend?
Speaker 1: Is she alive or dead? She's probably an older women
Speaker 1: you were dead the cougars. Yeah, my my first I guess,
Speaker 1: true true girlfriend. I think she's in New York now
Speaker 1: and she she's married. No, I probably take some credit
Speaker 1: to that because I was kind of a shitty boyfriend
Speaker 1: growing up. You ruined her life. I think so she's
Speaker 1: wonderful job she's got. She's got some hate for men
Speaker 1: now and it was a bad job by me, but
Speaker 1: she was awesome. I also hate men because of YouTube,
Speaker 1: so we have that in common. We gotta wrap, we
Speaker 1: gotta wrap, all right, I'm sorry to Jason and Rocky Man, Virginia,
Speaker 1: John and Omaha. Who else do we have here? Adrian
Speaker 1: of the Mileized City Lugo, All you guys, Gascon says he.
Speaker 1: We gotta rap, so we will not get to any
Speaker 1: of your questions. And those are all wonderful questions to
Speaker 1: be continued, not Lugo. Lugo's question was not that good,
Speaker 1: so just resubmit your question next week. We're on a
Speaker 1: tight clock here on the podcast. Do you think we
Speaker 1: could go on forever? But Gascons west of the four
Speaker 1: oh five with no work ethic, so he can't go
Speaker 1: on forever. But if you want to send a message
Speaker 1: for a future podcast, Every Wednesday we posted on the
Speaker 1: show facebook page. Ben Mallor Show usually in the morning,
Speaker 1: sometimes afternoon. Sometimes I forget. It's not to the evening,
Speaker 1: but there's a post. You can send a question in.
Speaker 1: Put your name in city first, and you can email
Speaker 1: if you are inclined the Real Fifth Hour, Real fifth
Speaker 1: Hour at gmail dot com and have a wonderful rest
Speaker 1: of your day. Be sure to catch live editions of
Speaker 1: The Ben Maller Show week days at two am Eastern
Speaker 1: eleven pm Pacific. Be sure to catch live editions of
Speaker 1: The Ben Miller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven
Speaker 1: pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart
Speaker 1: Radio app.