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Speaker 1: Let's say what's up. What's up is lip Service. I'm

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Speaker 1: Angela Yee, I'm Gi McGuire, I'm Stephanie Santiago, and our

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Speaker 1: guest Rainbow Barriss, Rainbow Barris is here with us. I

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Speaker 1: was just saying that I love lip service has set

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Speaker 1: a variety of guests. Last week we had porn start

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Speaker 1: shot in there, Lisa Annon. And now we have somebody

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Speaker 1: who is a perser in the bedroom for her husband,

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Speaker 1: but also an author and acesiologist, a doctor, a mom

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Speaker 1: and all of that. So let's give some background on

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Speaker 1: who Rainbow barrisses. Um. I think you summed it up

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Speaker 1: pretty well. I mean, I think the most important thing

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Speaker 1: for me really is being a mom. Um. I do

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Speaker 1: have six kids. Um, I've been married a long time

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Speaker 1: for especially these days and times. Um. Our oldest just

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Speaker 1: turned twenty, same day the baby turned three. So my

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Speaker 1: first of my last had the same birthday. Wow, the

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Speaker 1: same birthday, same birth And he was like a guy, like, up,

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Speaker 1: you're done. Um, And he was two months early on

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Speaker 1: her birthday, so I was like, this is really assigned.

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Speaker 1: So uh, June ninth. Nice? But oh and they are like,

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Speaker 1: I hope today is a good day. You got some

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Speaker 1: built in babysitters already best you know, the oldest to

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Speaker 1: And when I first got pregnant with the baby, they

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Speaker 1: were like, we need to talk to you. And I'm

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Speaker 1: like about what They were like, we don't know if

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Speaker 1: this is the best thing for you. Would like, no,

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Speaker 1: you don't know if it's the best thing for you. Um,

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Speaker 1: so you know it's they are built in babysitters and

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Speaker 1: and built in arguers and all that. I told him,

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Speaker 1: I said, what do you think I had you for?

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Speaker 1: You know? So it's it's good. It's a good age range. Um.

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Speaker 1: And and first we had three girls first, and we

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Speaker 1: had three boys. Second. Wow, it's like a perfect life perfect.

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Speaker 1: Nothing is perfect, but close to it as far as

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Speaker 1: the kids, Like, that's kind of dope, like three and

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Speaker 1: then three because you know, you have three girls, Like

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Speaker 1: I really want a boy exactly. And then and then like,

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Speaker 1: oh yeah, we had a boy. That's great, he's happy.

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Speaker 1: And then I was like, we'll never have another boy. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, won't have any more kids, but if we

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Speaker 1: did with a girl and then it was a boy

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh and then we had I'm like,

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Speaker 1: this is so interesting. So it is a blessing. So

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Speaker 1: let's talk about that. Because the character of Bow I'm

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Speaker 1: black Ish is based on you in real life, but

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Speaker 1: not completely, but that's basically where the character came from. Yes, correct.

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Speaker 1: So sometimes do you get to like know what's going

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Speaker 1: to happen on the episodes before it happens, Like you

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Speaker 1: guys have to sit down discussion, you and your husband Ken.

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Speaker 1: You're like, okay, so we're going to discuss this that

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Speaker 1: we're gonna tackle this, Like how much input do you

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Speaker 1: give based on your real life? Um? Usually I find

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Speaker 1: out after, but it depends. I mean if it's something

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Speaker 1: tough like um, you know he did. It was a

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Speaker 1: couple of seasons ago he did, you know, very tough. Um.

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Speaker 1: It was the first and only I think arc that

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Speaker 1: they did. So it was you know, three I think

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Speaker 1: episodes and followed each other where bo Andre were having

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Speaker 1: some uh marital uh differences I guess, and um, he

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Speaker 1: had gotten a lot of pushback about like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you shouldn't do this. People don't

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Speaker 1: think this is your life and you know he so

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Speaker 1: he did ask me about that, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I absolutely think you should do it. Because you know,

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Speaker 1: one of the things that UM, people appreciate about this

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Speaker 1: show is that they feel like they can relate to

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Speaker 1: these characters. And if you're only showing the positive, then

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Speaker 1: that's not relatable. And UM, I'm like, so what if

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Speaker 1: people think that it's us right now? Like what does

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Speaker 1: that matter? You know? Um? We we are examples in

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Speaker 1: so many ways for so many couples and so many people,

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Speaker 1: And UM, I think it's important to be vulnerable and

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Speaker 1: to be honest, even when it's uncomfortable. So um, he

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Speaker 1: did ask me about that. But other than that, you know,

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Speaker 1: I usually find out after. But you know, a lot

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Speaker 1: of the stuff is is like oh, I didn't know

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Speaker 1: you were gonna write about that. It sometimes also like,

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Speaker 1: well that's how you saw it, but I saw it differently,

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Speaker 1: absolutely absolutely, because you know, when things happen, we look

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Speaker 1: at it differently than they always have our different point

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Speaker 1: of view, right, and that's we're usually right, we're right,

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Speaker 1: my woe man, Just let's me be right. And that's

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Speaker 1: his thing, Like he's like, right, how did you get that?

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Speaker 1: And you're not even married. I don't know he understands,

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Speaker 1: and I think like he probably feels like, well, probably

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Speaker 1: because I am, but also because I think he's just

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Speaker 1: like we have petty arguments that's not even worth it,

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Speaker 1: And usually I am right and probably are right. It's

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Speaker 1: not right, it's right true most of them. I feel

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Speaker 1: like women are like I look at my sons and

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Speaker 1: I look at my daughters, and I'm like, how are

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Speaker 1: men in control of the world because they are so

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Speaker 1: below like like just women just get it in a

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Speaker 1: different way, like mediocre, like they're not. They just can't

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Speaker 1: reach the level I'm thinking as the same as a woman.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. If men just don't have it, it's something

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Speaker 1: missing with them. I don't know. I think we also

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Speaker 1: a lot of times I kind of step back and

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Speaker 1: let them. I think we have to be because if

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Speaker 1: you let them think of they're in charge, then it's

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Speaker 1: like more smooth. But that's another mental tactic on a man.

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Speaker 1: Yeah no, yeah, because I feel like, yeah, you got it,

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Speaker 1: Yeah right, I can't. I can't do that. It's really

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Speaker 1: hard and let him do and be like, yeah I

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Speaker 1: did that yesterday. But we do sacrifice sometimes. I feel

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Speaker 1: like I think being a one man, I think it's

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Speaker 1: a sacrifice, but I think it is the best sacrifice

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Speaker 1: but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

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Speaker 1: I think it's such a special gift to be a

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Speaker 1: woman and um with all of the challenges and the

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Speaker 1: responsibility I think it is. I think it's just so

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Speaker 1: powerful and amazing. And we were talking about what we

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Speaker 1: do we had a penis for a day, like, what

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Speaker 1: would that be? Like? Can you imagine what would you

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Speaker 1: do if you had a penis for a day? Swinging

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Speaker 1: around in the helicopter, in the mirror, in the mirrorge

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Speaker 1: in the mircause I gotta see it might get an STD.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm right, And then I would just

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Speaker 1: go sticking in as many pussies as I can. You

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Speaker 1: think you would do an of course I would. I

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Speaker 1: would with a female, you know, well, I don't think

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Speaker 1: I would be um, you know, I would be a man,

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Speaker 1: like I'm thinking if I'm a man, so I don't

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Speaker 1: want to be, you know, I just want to him

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Speaker 1: regulars like it's not coming out right here. I get

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Speaker 1: what she's saying. So I think that sounds right. I

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Speaker 1: mean that's what they do anyway, right, they're swinging around

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Speaker 1: in the circle in the mirror. Never done it, but

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Speaker 1: they do. They do you guys pay helicopter with your penis?

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Speaker 1: You've done? My god, look at a little kid when

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Speaker 1: you realize that the dangled and hanged and swung like

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Speaker 1: a pendulum. You shoot that. Don't act like you don't

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Speaker 1: do it at these ones when when they get older,

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Speaker 1: Look do they do it? No? See, they probably don't

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Speaker 1: do it as adult. They won't admit it, especially if

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Speaker 1: it's long. I can't lu So you guys really swing

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Speaker 1: your like the elephant trunk? What did I say? You're like,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, there's some guys in the room. Do you

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Speaker 1: guys play with your balls when you masturbate or just

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Speaker 1: the penis? That's a good question. I'm really like when

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Speaker 1: we like, you like rush your balls? You're saying yes, okay, yes,

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Speaker 1: oh yes, no, yes, I no, no, okay, So you

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Speaker 1: don't like can you imagine if you walked in and

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Speaker 1: you're a man like fingering himself in the butt and okay,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, and take it to the next level,

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Speaker 1: like right? Why did you call me? Right? Do you

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Speaker 1: for you think guys would want to have a vagina

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Speaker 1: for a day to see what it feels like? You

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Speaker 1: think we just would like to have a penis for

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Speaker 1: a day. I would like to have a penis for

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Speaker 1: a day. You wouldn't want to have a penis for

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Speaker 1: no I would wake up like, oh my god, right,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna go through. That would be a good movie.

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Speaker 1: They always do wake up as a kid, right, So

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Speaker 1: you like switched like breaky Friday Friday. Yeah, you know

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Speaker 1: you're gonna have it a hard day with that change

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Speaker 1: if you know it's only for a day. If it

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Speaker 1: was only for a day, I'm like, all right, I'm

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Speaker 1: just gonna stay in the house and smoke weed and

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Speaker 1: just wait to wait it out. Yeah, I'm gonna master mead,

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Speaker 1: That's exactly what I'm gonna I'm gonna master. I don't

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Speaker 1: have today exactly. Like, pens are fascinating, Like how often

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Speaker 1: do you find yourself like playing with your man's penis

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Speaker 1: just like alive and they hate for you to test

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Speaker 1: it when they're not hard? I don't so ashamed are

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Speaker 1: you doing? And had an exit I such the penis

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Speaker 1: like this, and he got so mad at me, like,

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Speaker 1: don't be with the ferny, Like are you trying to

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Speaker 1: see how big it is? I want you to use

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Speaker 1: the whole hand because if you're not using the whole hand.

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Speaker 1: They don't feel manly if you use just the finger.

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Speaker 1: And the dumb was just a heart attack. I would

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Speaker 1: have had the grap his penis like this. Yeah, really, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I've heard about those. I've only heard about about you

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Speaker 1: never had to witness it. Okay, let's just say I

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Speaker 1: had a lot of annal sex during that relationship because

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Speaker 1: I had to feel that. I'm sorry, but wow, where

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Speaker 1: am I? Yeah? I have like so many questions for

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Speaker 1: you guys. So you're sending in a committed relationship for

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Speaker 1: such a lot. So that's why I'm like, wow, So like,

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Speaker 1: does everybody have ain't no, even if you're not married,

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Speaker 1: Like is that I've never had? You know, I don't

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Speaker 1: do an't know either. I might try, It's too painful.

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Speaker 1: I can't do it. I tried to, it never went

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Speaker 1: all the way in. I wanted to. But you know what,

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Speaker 1: and I learned this from Lisa and the porn star

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Speaker 1: who was here last week. She said, when you clench

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Speaker 1: your teeth, it makes your buck clench. So if you

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Speaker 1: were like ya, why couldn't sept you that? Because when

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Speaker 1: you have a pap smere if you clench your upper body.

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Speaker 1: Then your vagina clenches, and so it's good to put

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Speaker 1: your arms up because it makes you relax. I never

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Speaker 1: do that way, so we gotta add that to our list.

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Speaker 1: If you put your arms out, you're like this, it's

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Speaker 1: harder for you to like, you know, because your whole

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Speaker 1: body will be doing this. But when your arms are

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Speaker 1: like this, you could do this. So you put your

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Speaker 1: arms up and then if you breathe and then it's

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Speaker 1: easier and any way to do an then probably need

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Speaker 1: to use loose for anal as opposed to water base

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Speaker 1: water base because it's more slippery. I've done anal or

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Speaker 1: like if guys would like average sized phoenises, but it

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Speaker 1: just so happens like the more recent relationships, like I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't even thank god, never like thank god, you don't

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Speaker 1: even have to Yeah exactly, they don't even like it

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Speaker 1: because they've never been able to get it because it's

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Speaker 1: just too it's uncomfortable. Yeah, so yeah, I don't know. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I was young when I wasn't married,

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Speaker 1: but I was I was prudish. I mean i'm not now,

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Speaker 1: but before I'm like, maybe it was just young. So

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna have been like you want to do what? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because it does sound more shocking when you're young. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna tell you this that I went to public school

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Speaker 1: and I went to private school for high school. Right,

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Speaker 1: public school, nobody was doing that. But in private school,

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Speaker 1: were you a white girls? Yeah, that's my private school was.

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Speaker 1: And then I remember this one white girl was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, and then he put it in my

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Speaker 1: butt and I was bleeding, you know, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I didn't even know I had anything about that. I

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Speaker 1: didn't either, I literally I didn't. I didn't even get

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Speaker 1: it in the wood. And taking it in the mouth

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Speaker 1: and still seeing the day were virgins. That's that's crazy.

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Speaker 1: That's actually it's actually very scary because that's how a

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Speaker 1: lot of bad things happened to people. And they, you know,

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Speaker 1: my my little Dominican friends, they were taking it in

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Speaker 1: the ass and not keeping their pussy aversion when I

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Speaker 1: was a kid, really yeah, my little Dominican friends. And

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Speaker 1: they were younger than me. I remember I was like thirteen,

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Speaker 1: she was like eleven, and they were little kids, and

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Speaker 1: her boyfriend was like fourteen, Oh my god, and they

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Speaker 1: were having anal sex. But how do you even know

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Speaker 1: about that when you're that. That's when I said, I'm

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Speaker 1: like what I was like, what, like, why are you

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Speaker 1: guys so horny? But trying to make someone else happy?

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Speaker 1: So I don't know, I know, I think they were horny.

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Speaker 1: And remember my little sister, my cousins when we used

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Speaker 1: to go to Puerto Rico. My cousins, they were kids

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Speaker 1: and they were doing all kinds of ships. We were

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Speaker 1: little kids, Like why are y'all so horny? Not me

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Speaker 1: though with others, Like I was always real quiet and

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Speaker 1: by myself. They were all like just older than me

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Speaker 1: and doing weird ship but were they doing stuff with

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Speaker 1: other kids? Kids? They were kids. It was just man

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Speaker 1: though they were kids. They were all like twelve and yeen,

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Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying, Like, how are y'all also horny?

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Speaker 1: I was little though, like I was like ten eleven nine.

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Speaker 1: They were kicking me out the room and be making

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Speaker 1: out like why are y'all so horny? Yeah, hormones raging.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. For girls, it's so different. I think

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Speaker 1: it's it's taking me a long time in life to

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Speaker 1: really be like really horny, like I've had I've had

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Speaker 1: had to get older to be like, oh no, this

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Speaker 1: is like really for me. I was horny when I

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Speaker 1: was young. I was masturbating when I was young. But

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Speaker 1: I wasn't horny for other people. I was horny for

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Speaker 1: the ship that I was watching on TV. I wasn't

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Speaker 1: mastered anybody. I did make my dolls have sex with

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Speaker 1: each other, ye like yeah, yeah, I wasn't the dolls

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Speaker 1: playing house. Yeah, they But I didn't really know anything

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Speaker 1: about sex. I just you know, and Kent didn't have

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Speaker 1: a dick. She just had that weird little space in

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Speaker 1: between the sides. The guy have the like the pubic

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Speaker 1: like finger, right, it's just like a curve. You can't

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Speaker 1: should have had a dick? No, No, I don't think

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Speaker 1: anatomically incorrect. Yeah, but because then now we walk around

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Speaker 1: thinking men just have like a but Barbie had. Barbie

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Speaker 1: had like a vage area that she had booze and

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Speaker 1: everything she had booze. Did she had a little crease?

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Speaker 1: Did she have a crease in there? I don't remember. No, No,

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Speaker 1: it was the same thing. It's like that. Yeah, it

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Speaker 1: was it was like blocked out right. Oh, I know

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Speaker 1: what it was. It was the crease in the thighs

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Speaker 1: that went like this because the legs moved. That's what

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking of. Yeah, you really studied it. I mean

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Speaker 1: I had Barbie dollars, Barbie dogs. She also have like

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Speaker 1: a little bit of hair on their legs. I think

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Speaker 1: Barbie should have hair, ever stubble. They should have pubes.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm people not having pubes, it's like this, that's

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Speaker 1: not appropriate. But even laser hair removo. I feel like

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Speaker 1: when young kids first start getting pubes, it's really imagine

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Speaker 1: if every adult you saw had no pubes and you

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Speaker 1: start getting pubes, what is that? Like that like yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're like, what is this? What's wrong? Or you know exactly,

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Speaker 1: and and it's initially it's a lot of fucking air,

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Speaker 1: you know. And I feel like we have to teach

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Speaker 1: our kids like no, this is normal, this is you know,

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Speaker 1: not you are not supposed to not have any hair.

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Speaker 1: Now you can choose to. But I still I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean laser hair moble. For me, it's been important

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Speaker 1: because I get in grown hairs, my daughters get them,

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Speaker 1: so in that aspect, it's actually really important. It's the

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Speaker 1: only thing that prevents them from happening. But um, I

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Speaker 1: had to like, do I take it all off or

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Speaker 1: do I not. I'm like, I have to show my

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Speaker 1: daughter at least, but have exactly because I feel like

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Speaker 1: I have to show my daughter's like no, you're supposed

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Speaker 1: to have exactly, and I feel like to me, I

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Speaker 1: feel like that's really really important. I've never seen my

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Speaker 1: parents naked, even when you were younger. I don't remember

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Speaker 1: nothing I remember. I don't remember if I'm younger, but

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Speaker 1: I don't recall seeing the naked. I'm always naked. It

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Speaker 1: from I see my mom naked all the time. Whether

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Speaker 1: used to always be naked. I still always be like, mom,

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Speaker 1: pust some clothes on. My mother was always naked. I

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Speaker 1: just think it's important for them to see, like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is what your body. I have to see that.

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Speaker 1: It did. It made us such a normal thing to

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Speaker 1: go and shave my legs when I was going through

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Speaker 1: puberty and to you know, want to take care of

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Speaker 1: myself and groom myself. Watching my mom like I couldn't

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Speaker 1: imagine seeing my mom with no hair, right, you know,

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Speaker 1: like it would just be like I never imagine. You

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Speaker 1: don't remember. I don't remember. I don't think I've ever

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Speaker 1: seen it because I feel like I would remember that

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Speaker 1: and I remember the first time I shaved my legs.

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Speaker 1: I was embarrassed. I didn't say anything, and I cut

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Speaker 1: my whole leg like from all the way down by

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Speaker 1: my ankle, all the way at my shop, one of

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Speaker 1: your friends, and somebody legs yes, and I guess I

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Speaker 1: pressed down to her and I really like cut it

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Speaker 1: all the way. And then you know, when you cut yourself,

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Speaker 1: shaving does not stop and it hurts. So then after that,

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Speaker 1: I was like embarrassed. I used to wear panty holes

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Speaker 1: under my shorts. Ok, I want to do a lot,

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Speaker 1: but I remember my mom taking a bath. We used

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Speaker 1: to take a bath together, like we'll be getting reverty

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Speaker 1: quick to come on, you're gonna take a shower with me,

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Speaker 1: and she'll shave her on the arms in front of

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Speaker 1: us and shaved. So that would never happen if my

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Speaker 1: mom about it just came so naturally to know how

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Speaker 1: to do it, you know. Yeah, I think it's important.

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00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,040
Speaker 1: I really do. And I tell them like, I'm I'm

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00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:53,520
Speaker 1: not comfortable all the time with myself. But if I'm

335
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,720
Speaker 1: not comfortable with myself, and how are you going to

336
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,640
Speaker 1: be comfortable with yourself? So that's why you're gonna see

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Speaker 1: me naked, you know, like you know until like you know,

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00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:04,320
Speaker 1: my oldest son is. But I still I don't know,

339
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,440
Speaker 1: just it's not weird to me because yes, see, I

340
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,239
Speaker 1: think I was. It was different for me growing up

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Speaker 1: because even like after that, I have friends like in

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Speaker 1: college that they would just be walking around naked and

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Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh my god, but some clone, right,

344
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:19,280
Speaker 1: because I definitely grow up seeing anybody naked, right, Yeah. No,

345
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,359
Speaker 1: I mean I think for me and like around my

346
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,520
Speaker 1: kids and like at home, it's important, but I'm not.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I guess if I'm around my friends and

348
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,920
Speaker 1: I'm like getting dressed, it's not a big deal. But

349
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,040
Speaker 1: I'm your girls for sure. But yeah, but I'm not

350
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Speaker 1: like watching all the way around. But I'm like, yeah,

351
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,440
Speaker 1: have to change or like everybody's always helped me to

352
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Speaker 1: put something on too, and I'm like, oh god, I

353
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,840
Speaker 1: think I'm still like I'm still kind of not like

354
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Speaker 1: a naked person. You're not naked person. Yeah, I'm still

355
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,800
Speaker 1: not really Like I still would be like walking at

356
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Speaker 1: the room and you were sleeping the bed together naked.

357
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,760
Speaker 1: It's like such a normal thing for us to be

358
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Speaker 1: naked around each other. You guys, having sex. Yeah, her

359
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:04,800
Speaker 1: sex never Okay, you can't say that because you have

360
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Speaker 1: that sex with women. So I've had women have had

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Speaker 1: sex with me on me. I've never put my mouth

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Speaker 1: on a girl you participated? I sure, Okay, I've had

363
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Speaker 1: getting sex before. Okay, down out of the questioning, but

364
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:31,119
Speaker 1: not like my best Like, come on, you don't have

365
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:37,879
Speaker 1: sex with your friends. Well, sometimes you do see that.

366
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:48,160
Speaker 1: We can believe anything, alright, So people have written into questions.

367
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,399
Speaker 1: So here's the first question. All right, bo, So I

368
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:53,400
Speaker 1: need help. I recently just got out of a long

369
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Speaker 1: relationship my new girlfriend who makes me very happy and

370
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Speaker 1: has been for the last few months. She recently asked

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Speaker 1: me to move in with her. EXCEPT did her invitation,

372
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Speaker 1: but then shortly a few weeks after, she got a dog.

373
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Speaker 1: Very much dislike animals, and I have expressed that to her,

374
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,480
Speaker 1: but I moved into her apartment. She has asked me

375
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 1: to help financially around her apartment and with the dog.

376
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 1: I want to make this work, but I want that

377
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Speaker 1: dog gone. She claims it it's like her baby and

378
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,320
Speaker 1: she doesn't want to get rid of it. Would I

379
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Speaker 1: be wrong for leaving? Even after expressing to her that

380
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:23,200
Speaker 1: I don't want this actually responsibility. Um. I think that

381
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 1: when people are honest and they communicate, and I think

382
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Speaker 1: if you choose to do something, I don't think you

383
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 1: can be quote wrong or you know, wrong or right

384
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,680
Speaker 1: because you're being honest. And I think you have to

385
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,879
Speaker 1: stand in your truth and you know will be different

386
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 1: if he was like making excuses about whatever or she

387
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:44,760
Speaker 1: had a man or woman. Um, but I think if

388
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,280
Speaker 1: you've expressed something and the person that you're with isn't

389
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 1: listening to that and isn't willing to um, compromise because

390
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 1: that's I mean, relationships, life, everything is a compromise, and

391
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,560
Speaker 1: you have to be willing to say what you're willing

392
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Speaker 1: to accept and what you want person you're with to

393
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,120
Speaker 1: accept as well as it does work both ways. It's

394
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:05,840
Speaker 1: kind of messed up that she got the dog after

395
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 1: he told her, yeah, I feel like I would be.

396
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:14,679
Speaker 1: I mean, he's still there like that's a good man, man,

397
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,280
Speaker 1: I know, I mean like you did work like this

398
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 1: dog here, So I don't you know, I don't think so,

399
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,399
Speaker 1: but I think you know, talking about it and saying

400
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 1: like I'm willing to you know, compromise on something else,

401
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 1: then you know, I think it's fair. But you know

402
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 1: that's I guess this part maybe like having kids, Like

403
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:36,320
Speaker 1: some people don't want to have kids and some people do,

404
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 1: and like, you know, but you know, I think it's different,

405
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 1: it'd be different. She had the dog already, yeah yeah,

406
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,639
Speaker 1: because then you're choosing to still go, but then to

407
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:45,960
Speaker 1: get it after, it's kind of like she got it after.

408
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,879
Speaker 1: I think she's wrong for trying to put the responsibility

409
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,800
Speaker 1: on him. Expressed that he wasn't like it's one thing

410
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 1: to buy the dog, but don't expect me to take

411
00:22:53,920 --> 00:23:00,639
Speaker 1: care of and that dog was gone, and like a

412
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,080
Speaker 1: few days, I was like I told you for years, no,

413
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 1: don't I have too many children, do not bring a

414
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,200
Speaker 1: dog into this. If the kids could take care of

415
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 1: the dog. The one who wanted it was seven, yeah, yeah,

416
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:15,359
Speaker 1: yeah alright, or like oh can can the nanny didn't know,

417
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:20,119
Speaker 1: they're busy with the children. Sorry, So you got rid

418
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:21,720
Speaker 1: of the dog in a few days. You didn't feel bad,

419
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:26,640
Speaker 1: absolutely not, because I had said for years I am

420
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:28,560
Speaker 1: not going to be responsible for a dog. I'm not

421
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 1: so doc. It was my children, my seven year old,

422
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:36,399
Speaker 1: who wanted the dog. She she came to us and

423
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 1: was crying and say, can we get rid of the

424
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 1: dog because it was ruined in our family. It must

425
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 1: have been really you know, you know what because she

426
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,640
Speaker 1: didn't want to go pick up that ship outside. That's

427
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 1: what it was, like, Oh, I gotta go pick up ship.

428
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 1: This dog is rolling in our family. I was like, yeah,

429
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:55,720
Speaker 1: I told you she didn't want that. Damn do that.

430
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 1: She would have been upset. No when you got rid

431
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:04,680
Speaker 1: of it. No, No, she had a younger sibling to

432
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,359
Speaker 1: play with. She didn't need it, as kids are a

433
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 1: lot of working. Dogs are work. Especially it was a

434
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,879
Speaker 1: puppy and you had to train it. Yeah, keep it

435
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,200
Speaker 1: from chewing up your front chair and pissing all over everything.

436
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,920
Speaker 1: You have to schedule your your days around it. And

437
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:21,640
Speaker 1: it was it was. It was a lot of work.

438
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,800
Speaker 1: I think we had it for like four days or something.

439
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:35,920
Speaker 1: Damn that girl. I'm not a dog person. But you know,

440
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 1: we did find a nice home for the dogs. Someone

441
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 1: else needed a dog, and so I was like, look,

442
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 1: this is a win win situation. Yeah. Yeah, it worked out.

443
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:46,639
Speaker 1: And I'm not like, get rid of the dog and

444
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,680
Speaker 1: send it to the right Yeah, so that was important.

445
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 1: It didn't work out. What are some of the biggest

446
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 1: compromises that you've had to make in your marriage. Um.

447
00:24:56,280 --> 00:25:01,639
Speaker 1: You know, I think recently the biggest thing for me

448
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:07,440
Speaker 1: really is is been realizing and learning that being um

449
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:12,119
Speaker 1: having equity does not mean being the same. And so

450
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 1: I used to look for sameness to be equal. You

451
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 1: know what, I do this, so you should do this

452
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 1: with it. And so I think once I started to realize, like,

453
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 1: you know, I actually really enjoy a lot of the

454
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 1: things that I do, Like I enjoy all the things

455
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:30,200
Speaker 1: I do with the kids and those responsibilities. Why am

456
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 1: I pitching and complaining about what he doesn't do? Is

457
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 1: he's not uncomfortable doing a lot of the stuff, and

458
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:40,119
Speaker 1: now he does, but he will do other things that

459
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,960
Speaker 1: I won't do. And so I think for me, really

460
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:49,120
Speaker 1: just giving up the idea of um us not being

461
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,600
Speaker 1: the same, it's been like my biggest It's been like

462
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:57,280
Speaker 1: a lifesaver, really because it's eliminates all that pettiness. You know,

463
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 1: I never thought about that. That's really that great. It's

464
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 1: it's it took a long time. It's probably like fifteen years.

465
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 1: That's hard. When you you live you don't imagine you

466
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 1: live with someone like your roommate, and it's like one

467
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 1: person does all of this one thing and you're like,

468
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,359
Speaker 1: you don't never do this. But then you have to

469
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 1: think about, well, well does this person do these other things?

470
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 1: What do they do, what do they bring? And I

471
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 1: do think there needs to be some some equity for sure,

472
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:27,720
Speaker 1: because there needs to be balanced. But being the same, like,

473
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 1: he's a man, he's not a nurture. And that's that's

474
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 1: the whole thing about a man and a woman complimenting

475
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,440
Speaker 1: each other. He's doing the things that we don't do,

476
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,440
Speaker 1: and vice versa. We're supposed to do the things that

477
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:43,679
Speaker 1: they don't. But it's a common argument, like I'm here cleaning,

478
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 1: I'm here doing this. It's such a common argument. But

479
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 1: if you really think about it, it is a petty argument.

480
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 1: And I'm like, do I really want to talk time

481
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 1: you're enjoying. I want to come home and see him

482
00:26:55,520 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 1: like cooking and cleaning. I really don't't, Like it's gonna

483
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 1: be fucked up anyway, and like gonna end up being

484
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:11,159
Speaker 1: like like you guys, don't redoing anyway, It'll be a

485
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:14,760
Speaker 1: total waste of time. Yeah, he'll have to redo and yeah,

486
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,360
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know, if if you're with someone

487
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: and they're not comfortable doing something like, Okay, well let's

488
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,680
Speaker 1: let's compromise. Let's figure out what you can do. I'm

489
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 1: good at planning trips, so like in my relationship, I'm

490
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 1: always going to be the person that's planning where we're

491
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,479
Speaker 1: gonna go, we're gonna stay in the flights and all

492
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:33,400
Speaker 1: of that. So that's and he's okay with that. He's

493
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:37,200
Speaker 1: great with that. Good, good what you planning it? I'm

494
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 1: not there's something that he does that you don't do.

495
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 1: M I mean, like there's a lot of things, Like

496
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 1: I hate getting my car washed, So I'm the type

497
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:48,359
Speaker 1: of person that won't get my car washs for like

498
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 1: six months just because I really, for some reason don't

499
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 1: like going to the car wash. But like my boyfriend

500
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 1: would be like, you know, like certain things, he'll handle

501
00:27:56,600 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 1: those responsibilities and like be more responsible about other things

502
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,040
Speaker 1: while I'm running around doing whatever. Because I'm more of

503
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,920
Speaker 1: like do things as I remember to do them type

504
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 1: of person, and so sometimes I forget to do stuff.

505
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:10,440
Speaker 1: He's more like he has like a to do list.

506
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 1: He's more scheduled. Yeah, I'm more like spontaneous. That's that's

507
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,920
Speaker 1: that's good. That's that's important. That's nice. I don't that's

508
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 1: a good compliment, you know, but I probably do more.

509
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 1: You know, of course that we were guys both having

510
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 1: really really busy schedules, right, was that ever an issue?

511
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,320
Speaker 1: Like are we home enough? Are we with each other enough?

512
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,400
Speaker 1: Are we with the kids enough? How does that work? Um?

513
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 1: I think in life we are always especially as a woman,

514
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 1: I'm always like I should be doing more. I could

515
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 1: be doing more. You know, this kid, this person and him,

516
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 1: you know, someone needs me more than I'm able to

517
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 1: be there. But um, you know, I think like once

518
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 1: I got out of school and in training residency training

519
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 1: and gave me a lot more for lexibility because otherwise,

520
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 1: like I have a very not flexible schedule at all,

521
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 1: and it's difficult for people to understand when they're like,

522
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,360
Speaker 1: you mean you have to ask for a day, a half,

523
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 1: a day off three months ahead of the day, and

524
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I know, it's ridiculous, especially with kids.

525
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 1: So um, you know, not having being in such a

526
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 1: confined schedule as I was has been helpful. But you know,

527
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 1: I think for for me, like I have this this

528
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 1: mom guilt thing or it's always like I should be

529
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 1: doing more, you know, right, and then each kid's like, oh,

530
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 1: I need a day with you. I know, I need

531
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 1: a day with you, you know. And six days already,

532
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 1: literally it is my hand and everybody is okay with that.

533
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 1: You have to be like you know what, Um, I

534
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:55,520
Speaker 1: have to not be okay with this and um you

535
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:58,960
Speaker 1: know so so it. It's challenging, but you know, you

536
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 1: work through to it and work at it, and you

537
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 1: just keep trying, you know. I was like I do

538
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 1: with my kids, like I'm gonna tell you want I'm

539
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:06,120
Speaker 1: gonna tell you twice, i gonna tell you a thousand times,

540
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna keep saying it because that's the only

541
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:12,200
Speaker 1: way that things will will work. If I give up,

542
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 1: then what's the point? You know? Do you know what

543
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 1: the number one occupation for cheating is number one occupation

544
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 1: for sent it you guys? Uh doctors? Is it? Doctors? Yeah?

545
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 1: You remember that from a previous episode. Yeah, but what

546
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:30,360
Speaker 1: kind of doctors? Because I'm like, nobody in the hospital

547
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:36,960
Speaker 1: tells me anything. I'm so sleeping, like yeah, because I'm

548
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 1: not in it. And we were like, well, you're married,

549
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 1: you have kids. I'm like, but I want to know

550
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 1: I still want the tea. Yeah, my lifelihood, But is

551
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 1: it ever, like do doctor other people ever hit on you,

552
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 1: like because you're around people obviously, especially when you're in

553
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 1: your residency a lot. Girl, I have been pregnant so much,

554
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:59,320
Speaker 1: you know, like you guys like pregnant sex. God know

555
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 1: that's something guy like pregnant women. I didn't find that

556
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 1: out and I was like, why are you talking to me?

557
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 1: But it wasn't at work, But are you serious people

558
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:10,200
Speaker 1: hit on you while you were pregnant? I was disgusted

559
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 1: because I was like, this is like this is gross,

560
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 1: Like who you know? Yeah? Does that even go down?

561
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 1: Like how do you even have the nerve to approach

562
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 1: to pregnant women? That's what being a man and just

563
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,040
Speaker 1: you know, like like complimenting you and like like why

564
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 1: are you what are you talking about holding that pregnancy?

565
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:40,719
Speaker 1: Well my looking around, Yeah no I'm not really. If

566
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 1: I have had people at work, I'm very oblivious. I'm

567
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 1: like literally I go to work to work and I

568
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 1: look if they do, I don't notice it. But I've

569
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:53,360
Speaker 1: spent like half of my adult life literally pregnant, and

570
00:31:53,400 --> 00:32:02,640
Speaker 1: I'm like this is like what is it? Period? But

571
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:06,080
Speaker 1: so can you never had any like insecurities about you?

572
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 1: Was there of any issues because you're a very attractive woman?

573
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 1: Was he ever insecure? Because men try to act like

574
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 1: I think they are cool with everything, have it together,

575
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 1: but they do have insecurities. Yeah, I think. I mean,

576
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 1: I think all smart men are insecure, you know what

577
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 1: I mean. I think it would be foolish not to me,

578
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 1: you know, and um, so you know, of course, but

579
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, maybe that's why I've been pregnant. Okay, nowhere,

580
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 1: you can't exactly because imagine telling a guy like, if

581
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 1: you don't do it, another man will. You can't ever

582
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 1: say something like that though, oh my god, girl hard

583
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 1: on a man. You can't say things like that to men.

584
00:32:58,200 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 1: You can't say that to us either, because it makes

585
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:03,280
Speaker 1: think that you're already thinking about getting out to do it.

586
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:07,960
Speaker 1: You know. That's because that's how they think exactly. Like

587
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:12,040
Speaker 1: what in college, my friend's boyfriend told her we were

588
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 1: about to go out, and he was like, oh, no,

589
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 1: I need you to help me do my laundry. And

590
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 1: she was like, me and are going out? Like you

591
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 1: can do your own lundry. He was like, it's cool,

592
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 1: I'll get someone else to help me. All my Jesus,

593
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 1: I would it wouldn't be no laundry. You know that.

594
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 1: You think I would have got married, so I guess it.

595
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 1: But still it worked out. I would have been like

596
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 1: all that bleached out on your black clothes. That's selfish,

597
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:45,480
Speaker 1: that's very selfish. But I'm never the type of person

598
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:47,480
Speaker 1: to tell somebody not to do what you want to do,

599
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:49,720
Speaker 1: like I ain't gonna tell you, as a friend saying

600
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna tell her, Like no, I fint that

601
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 1: he shouldn't tell you that that. I was like, okay,

602
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 1: I mean, if that's what you want to do, did

603
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:00,480
Speaker 1: you guys talk about it later? Like ever? Like she

604
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 1: was upset about it, you know, and I think maybe

605
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 1: they had their own conversation with each other afterward. But

606
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 1: it's a foul thing to say to somebody. I mean,

607
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 1: it shows that he has somebody on the lineup, you know,

608
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:16,719
Speaker 1: tell somebody's even Yeah, I mean for a man to

609
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 1: say it likely they because imagine that she would have

610
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:20,600
Speaker 1: said that to him. How his reaction would have been,

611
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 1: Oh god, he could he But we were only in college,

612
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 1: so you know that means that he he started early.

613
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 1: He knew that that game real early. But they've been

614
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:34,680
Speaker 1: married for a long time now, so I guess they've

615
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,239
Speaker 1: gotten over certain things. You know how it is when

616
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 1: you have I'm sure like early on in your relationship

617
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:41,880
Speaker 1: there were things that happened that you you could have

618
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,360
Speaker 1: had a choice to either stay or go right, because

619
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 1: I think early on guys make mistakes. We make mistakes,

620
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,160
Speaker 1: and either you work through it early on or you

621
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:53,800
Speaker 1: don't and we do grow right because there's those young mistakes.

622
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,440
Speaker 1: Like I think about things that I did. I was

623
00:34:55,520 --> 00:35:00,200
Speaker 1: disrespectful when I was younger. You know what. Every one

624
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 1: of my exits tells me that I always chose my

625
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 1: friends over them. It was true though I did do that.

626
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 1: I'm not like that anymore because I'm lazy, so I'd

627
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 1: rather go home and be with Eddie y'all. But I

628
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 1: will say when I was younger, I was like that,

629
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 1: Did you do it to almost like be defiant? Did

630
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 1: you would rather hang out with your friends? Did? My

631
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,279
Speaker 1: friends were like so important to me growing up, And

632
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 1: you know what's funny. So I've been working up my

633
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:35,920
Speaker 1: book and one thing I did talk I talked to

634
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 1: my ex boyfriend who I was with for a long

635
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:41,360
Speaker 1: time and we never like really just well we did.

636
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 1: We broke up because he us a cheat on me

637
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 1: a lot, right, But we talked about like how he

638
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 1: always felt like I was choosing other things over him.

639
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 1: He never told me that before, but I was like,

640
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:52,279
Speaker 1: I did need to do that. I was like, why

641
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:53,960
Speaker 1: did you say something? He was like, I don't know.

642
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:55,840
Speaker 1: Maybe it was my ego. I thought one day you

643
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 1: would just you know, but you guys are friends now

644
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,840
Speaker 1: you speak, Yeah, we're cool. Sometimes that's good. It was.

645
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 1: It was a long time ago, and you know, I was,

646
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:06,239
Speaker 1: I was, you know how we are. We're over it

647
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 1: before they know over here, as you can see in

648
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 1: many situations, yeah, we're over it before we even leave them.

649
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:16,719
Speaker 1: Were like mentally like I've been that was almost year

650
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:18,880
Speaker 1: about to be done. Now. You see, Wendy Williams is

651
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,120
Speaker 1: dating a guy who's twenty eight years old. I did

652
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,959
Speaker 1: not know that. I saw that today. I keep seeing

653
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 1: his hand, Yeah, eight year old hands. Yeah? Why did

654
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 1: she his hands? Does she keep posting a picture of

655
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:31,800
Speaker 1: them holding hands? But it's like just their hands? Is

656
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 1: it like a like a baby hand, like kind of

657
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 1: like Chevy manthing? Any work? They said he works in finance.

658
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 1: Also it's smooth and like motion and soft supple. Where

659
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:54,400
Speaker 1: did she find him? Did she him like Craigslist or something?

660
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:59,120
Speaker 1: I don't know. I have no idea he was on

661
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 1: because they weren't TMB. So you saw him in the

662
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 1: car next to her, and he was looking like ship

663
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 1: like some one you know TMZ but you know somebody

664
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:09,360
Speaker 1: sent me a d M. And they were like, Angela,

665
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,279
Speaker 1: you're talking about money Williams dating somebody else and you

666
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 1: should be like this is wrong because she's just getting

667
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 1: out of a relationship, and as a woman, you should

668
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 1: be saying, don't jump into something else. And I was like,

669
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 1: first of all, I don't even know her, really what what?

670
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:26,840
Speaker 1: I don't even understand what I understand? What's right? My

671
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 1: thing is that do what you gotta do. Like they're

672
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 1: saying like you shouldn't be happy for her, or you

673
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 1: you're not happy enough for her? Reported on it. I

674
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,720
Speaker 1: didn't really get my reported it. I guess they wanted

675
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,279
Speaker 1: me to be like, this is terrible. You need to

676
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:43,000
Speaker 1: take time to heal why first of all, especially coming

677
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 1: out of you like he especially especially because of why

678
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 1: they broke up. They broke up because he already clearly

679
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:53,879
Speaker 1: moved on and do him baby, don't see I don't

680
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 1: even know about that. Yeah, her husband had a baby

681
00:37:56,239 --> 00:38:00,400
Speaker 1: with somebody else. And how how was the baby when

682
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 1: she found out that he had a baby? Like was

683
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:09,720
Speaker 1: a woman from the baby? Yeah? It was like announced together.

684
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, No, she needs to have like five men

685
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 1: right now, sing like and like, honestly, I feel like

686
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 1: I'll keep going back to the awful relationship because the

687
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 1: guys that are trying to pick me up aren't quick

688
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:34,279
Speaker 1: enough where we wack up there immediately like like all right,

689
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:37,480
Speaker 1: I'm single, now this is your chance. But guys are

690
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:42,719
Speaker 1: intimidated too by like by by beautiful women. They are

691
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 1: they really they're all smart. Man's insecure. No, I'm just

692
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 1: a little bit. So it won't tell you what's the

693
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:53,120
Speaker 1: best way to get over a break up. Then you

694
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:56,799
Speaker 1: think so sometimes that makes it worse. Ain't been wrong

695
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 1: with a little rebound to find a guy that's cool

696
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 1: like that, and then sentence it's more depressing. But it

697
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 1: may not be. It may not be the man that

698
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:06,239
Speaker 1: you like. You don't have to want to be with

699
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:12,320
Speaker 1: him forever, just likever whent at with a distraction and

700
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,399
Speaker 1: then being like why the fund did I waste my time?

701
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:18,040
Speaker 1: I have tried a distraction and thestraction of such a cornball,

702
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 1: and it's like it makes you miss person you're missing,

703
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,680
Speaker 1: But you kind of have to know that. Like, look,

704
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,720
Speaker 1: I know, I'm just to yourself, like I tell my friends,

705
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:29,840
Speaker 1: like you know what you're doing. You know that you

706
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 1: are just feeling to wasting some time and you probably

707
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 1: are not allowing the energy of the person that you

708
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 1: want in your life right now. So if you're cool

709
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:41,719
Speaker 1: with that, then keep doing it. And if not, then

710
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,760
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to like be comfortable being by yourself

711
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:46,359
Speaker 1: for a little while. And it may be a day

712
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:48,800
Speaker 1: and out the year. You know, you don't know, but

713
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 1: you're blocking I think you block that energy. But as

714
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 1: long as you're aware of it, like I mean, I

715
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:56,919
Speaker 1: think whatever it works for you. But I do feel

716
00:39:56,960 --> 00:40:00,239
Speaker 1: like a bad date could like make you any more

717
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 1: miss It can make you go back to a horrible relationship.

718
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:06,080
Speaker 1: But I also I'm not saying of keeping busy. I

719
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 1: think that's important, marrying yourself in work or your career,

720
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:12,440
Speaker 1: spending more time with your children, doing things for yourself

721
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 1: to make you feel better about yourself. Things always that

722
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:16,880
Speaker 1: I was able to get over break ups, but then

723
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:18,360
Speaker 1: I ended up going back to his aunts anyway. So

724
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:23,239
Speaker 1: that's what Angel always says, that we're busy. Listen, I'm

725
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 1: so busy that like I'll get in a fight with

726
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 1: my boyfriend and forget I got in a fight, right,

727
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:28,840
Speaker 1: or you'll forget what it was about. You're like, I know,

728
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:30,960
Speaker 1: I was mad at him for something. What was it? Anyway?

729
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:33,440
Speaker 1: All right? Let me or like, yes, I think that's

730
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 1: important because when you're not busy, you end up, you know,

731
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 1: searching social media looking for the person doing who's commenting

732
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:42,759
Speaker 1: on his page, data da dada, and then you're like

733
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:44,839
Speaker 1: sitting around like I don't have nothing to do. I'm

734
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:47,239
Speaker 1: so bored, I'm lonely. I don't have any friends. You know,

735
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:51,759
Speaker 1: your friends. I have no friends, I have no like

736
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:53,920
Speaker 1: And then you're like, okay, you know what, I'm just

737
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 1: call him and that's how. But if you're busy and

738
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 1: like moving around and forcing yourself to do things, I

739
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 1: think that's an important anything to do, and it works.

740
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,960
Speaker 1: I agree, and I think everyone should be busy anyway,

741
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:09,239
Speaker 1: you know, without I mean, it's just it's important for us,

742
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:12,520
Speaker 1: it's important for you to be, you know, valid in

743
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:17,759
Speaker 1: who you are without um, someone else being a part

744
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 1: of your validations. You're already quite busy, I am. I

745
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 1: that's all that I know is to be like I

746
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:26,759
Speaker 1: don't even know anything different, but to be busy. Now,

747
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:29,279
Speaker 1: you decided to write this book about parenting. How long

748
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:33,360
Speaker 1: did it take you to write it? Um? Technically it

749
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 1: took about in a year a little bit, yes, less

750
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 1: than a year. But I started it like nine years ago.

751
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:42,960
Speaker 1: And I found some notes that I had written when

752
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 1: I was saying that I should be doing something else

753
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:47,360
Speaker 1: with my life and it and I was moving, and

754
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:49,040
Speaker 1: my sister was like, I think you should see some

755
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 1: stuff you wrote down. I looked in the book. I

756
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,919
Speaker 1: had just gotten the first copy of it that week,

757
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:57,839
Speaker 1: and I had written the date and it was, um,

758
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:00,040
Speaker 1: it was right before I got pregnant with casts, so

759
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:04,400
Speaker 1: it was two thousand Um, shoot, what do you It

760
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:07,640
Speaker 1: was two thousand nine. And I was like summing it up,

761
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:09,800
Speaker 1: and I think I should write a book. And that

762
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 1: week I had gotten of my first copy of Life

763
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 1: of my book, and I was like and I and

764
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 1: I wrote it on like a day planner. I tore

765
00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:20,360
Speaker 1: out some sheets so it was like, you know, just

766
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:23,239
Speaker 1: random writing, and my sister found it and I was like, wow,

767
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 1: this is not amazing that I wrote this down. And

768
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 1: because I remember having a conversation with Kenya, but I

769
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 1: didn't remember that I had written down all the notes

770
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,400
Speaker 1: I had written down. So I started taking notes of

771
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:37,520
Speaker 1: just situations with the kids, of like someone told me

772
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,720
Speaker 1: just write stuff down, writes stuf down. I'm like, I'll remember,

773
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 1: and they're like you won't. Yeah. So that was, you know,

774
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,759
Speaker 1: like super important for me that I don't remember what

775
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:50,759
Speaker 1: I was thinking five minutes ago, right, and it gets

776
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,960
Speaker 1: worse and words as you like, I really think I

777
00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 1: have like pregnant brains, Like I can't remember. I'm like,

778
00:42:58,160 --> 00:42:59,719
Speaker 1: you know the thing you put food in, it keeps

779
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 1: it full cold like refrigerator, that thing. Like literally, I

780
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 1: like I can't remember anything at all, and it's really bad.

781
00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 1: So me having those notes was important. And then when

782
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:18,200
Speaker 1: the time came, I was ready. So now you've also

783
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:21,320
Speaker 1: been open about Danny my postpartum depression. How did you

784
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 1: know the signs of that, because I think some women

785
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 1: have that and some men with women who had that,

786
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:29,920
Speaker 1: but they don't know what it is. It was. It was.

787
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 1: I did not know until I knew until it happened.

788
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 1: You know, I probably had a very mild postpartum with

789
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,759
Speaker 1: probably the second one, but it was with the third one,

790
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:46,960
Speaker 1: and I being a mom Christmas, I try to do

791
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:51,320
Speaker 1: everything myself. Wrap all the gifts, get all you know, decorations, ready,

792
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 1: baked the cookies and and um my third daughter was um,

793
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:01,080
Speaker 1: like two weeks old. I was doing all this stuff

794
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:04,920
Speaker 1: and um, I was. I knew. I was like a zombie.

795
00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:07,719
Speaker 1: I was out of it. And I may have laid

796
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:09,480
Speaker 1: down for a little bit before the kids got up

797
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:13,000
Speaker 1: to open their stuff. And that morning someone was like,

798
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:16,440
Speaker 1: how are you? And I just started crying and I

799
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:18,480
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, what is wrong with me?

800
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 1: So it was it was undeniable, but like I'm sure

801
00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:28,359
Speaker 1: I had been feeling sad up until that day, but um, yeah,

802
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:32,320
Speaker 1: there was. It was like, okay, everything shut down, Like

803
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:35,279
Speaker 1: my mom and my sisters came over, and one of

804
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 1: my sisters, she was living up north, she came to

805
00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 1: stay with me. I was like, wow, this is crazy,

806
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:43,320
Speaker 1: like you like, I know what stuffing is wrong with me,

807
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 1: but I can't control it, Like I can't fix it

808
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:48,960
Speaker 1: and I can't control it. So what helps you was

809
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:52,279
Speaker 1: having your tribe of people around you to help. Yeah, yeah, no,

810
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 1: I and I I went to, um, you know, I

811
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:56,920
Speaker 1: called my old be and she was like, you know,

812
00:44:57,080 --> 00:45:00,000
Speaker 1: I want you to go and see um a psychiatry

813
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:02,600
Speaker 1: risk and it was it was a black lady and

814
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 1: you know, like that was helpful, just you know, talking

815
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,760
Speaker 1: and I had to take medication for a little while

816
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:14,320
Speaker 1: and it was super super super important and like literally

817
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 1: saved me because it's it's weird. It's weird to be

818
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:21,440
Speaker 1: experiencing something and you're like I know that this isn't right,

819
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,240
Speaker 1: but I can't do and there's nothing like I can't

820
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:28,560
Speaker 1: I literally can't help it. So um, you know, and

821
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,560
Speaker 1: we everything you know in the black community is like

822
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:35,880
Speaker 1: just go pray about it, and it's like, you know, right,

823
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:38,440
Speaker 1: I did prayer and prayer told me to see it's

824
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 1: like exactly. So, um, you know, I think it's important

825
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 1: to to talk about it and tell people because I

826
00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:50,840
Speaker 1: think that's what takes the shame and the you know,

827
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:53,920
Speaker 1: stigma away from it because it's such a common thing,

828
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 1: but for some reason, people aren't so open about it.

829
00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:00,399
Speaker 1: You know what. It's so interesting. I remember are talking

830
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:03,400
Speaker 1: to a psychiatrist about like, how did I feel about

831
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:06,399
Speaker 1: like the baby? And I was like, I was like, well,

832
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 1: I love the baby, you know, I was. I was like,

833
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 1: it's me that I feel like sucks. And I think

834
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 1: that people gets scared or you know, maybe embarrassed that um,

835
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 1: that's my oldest baby there, that um about to get crazy.

836
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:33,240
Speaker 1: I don't know she's but you know, I think people

837
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:36,760
Speaker 1: don't want to feel like if they're having some negative

838
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 1: feelings about the baby, then it's even like, oh no,

839
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:42,279
Speaker 1: I'm really a bad person. And so you know, and

840
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:45,120
Speaker 1: everyone is different and you know, each experience is different,

841
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:49,120
Speaker 1: but it was, it was I was very blessed and

842
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 1: to have you know, people that supported me and that

843
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:56,360
Speaker 1: understood and and wanted, you know, the best for me

844
00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:59,239
Speaker 1: as well. And Kenya you know, he really he really

845
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 1: did too. He was like, oh, ship, can you guys

846
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:06,680
Speaker 1: come over here. They just say some men get that too.

847
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:13,040
Speaker 1: I believe that, I mean he got um. I don't

848
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 1: know if at that time because I literally can't think

849
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:18,120
Speaker 1: of anyone but myself, but he definitely I think every

850
00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:21,320
Speaker 1: time I was pregnant was he changed you know a

851
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:24,400
Speaker 1: little bit during those times, but it was always a

852
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 1: good time as I was a blessing for us. Like literally,

853
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:31,120
Speaker 1: I feel like babies are blessings and miracles. I really really,

854
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:34,960
Speaker 1: really really really believe that. Yeah, absolutely, we left. We

855
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 1: see daughter all the time. It's amazing that she's like

856
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:42,360
Speaker 1: a grown up now she's two. She once a birthday. Okay,

857
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:44,600
Speaker 1: and Stephanie, you get to see your son all the

858
00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:47,239
Speaker 1: time now they are now that we're back in New York.

859
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:49,960
Speaker 1: But he looks at his father. He's gonna be thirteen

860
00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:53,600
Speaker 1: and a few days. Wow, y'all got some little adults. Yeah,

861
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:59,799
Speaker 1: my son is big thirteen is it's hormonal? Yeah, he's

862
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:04,279
Speaker 1: a boy right now. Like I tried to be more

863
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 1: in his face than he actually wants me to be,

864
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:09,359
Speaker 1: and his face is like, okay, mom, I think about

865
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:11,239
Speaker 1: how bad I was when I was thirteen, and um,

866
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:18,320
Speaker 1: but girls are different than that. Girls. I mean boys

867
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 1: I at thirteen, are they already doing stuff that girls

868
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 1: are doing? Or my brother was way better than I was.

869
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:27,359
Speaker 1: He's older than me, and I was like the bad one.

870
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:30,959
Speaker 1: That he is a good one. He would like telling

871
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:34,520
Speaker 1: me all the time, how much older is he? He's

872
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:38,320
Speaker 1: only a year and three months. That he was always

873
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:40,440
Speaker 1: telling on me. And then because he was always telling me,

874
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 1: I would like make up ship that he was doing

875
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:47,000
Speaker 1: because he wasn't doing well he did. I'd be like, well,

876
00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:50,040
Speaker 1: you know he was because he was always telling on me,

877
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:52,279
Speaker 1: but I was really doing bad, and you just would

878
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:53,880
Speaker 1: make up stuff again, and then I would make it.

879
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 1: He was like, what why was he telling? What did

880
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:58,640
Speaker 1: he say? He just wanted you to be in trouble? Yeah,

881
00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:01,800
Speaker 1: Like I would cut school some times, or sometimes like

882
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:05,320
Speaker 1: we moved to New Jersey when I was fifteam and

883
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:07,320
Speaker 1: I would like leave and take the train back to

884
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:09,360
Speaker 1: New York all the time because I was like devastated

885
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:11,759
Speaker 1: at first, and he would tell on me with that,

886
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:13,880
Speaker 1: I would have boys over. He would tell me with that.

887
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, Like you can't get your own life.

888
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:20,520
Speaker 1: Do some of your do some should be supportive of this,

889
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:24,040
Speaker 1: like time for me. Isn't that when brothers and sisters

890
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:28,399
Speaker 1: are supposed to do? You know? That's why I tell Yeah,

891
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:32,080
Speaker 1: I tell them, I'm like, look, unless something like your

892
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:35,480
Speaker 1: sibling is doing something that's gonna harm themselves, yes, of

893
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 1: course I want to know about it, but your relationship

894
00:49:37,719 --> 00:49:40,160
Speaker 1: with each other is more important. Than my relationship with

895
00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:42,360
Speaker 1: any of you because you guys have each other and

896
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:44,960
Speaker 1: so don't come and tell me no bullshit. My parents

897
00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:49,440
Speaker 1: say that most parents do. You like, don't be here

898
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:52,279
Speaker 1: snitching all right, because you know I'm serious, because I'm like,

899
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:54,799
Speaker 1: you're gonna need your siblings one day and like I'm

900
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:56,880
Speaker 1: gonna be not here. I'm gonna be going like you

901
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 1: guys have a life, and you like like leave me

902
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,440
Speaker 1: out of unless it's danger somebody's gonna be hurt or

903
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:05,440
Speaker 1: you know, other than that. Don't like, of course I

904
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:07,799
Speaker 1: want to know, but I just feel like that's not fair.

905
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:10,080
Speaker 1: That's a lot of pressure on kids when parents are like,

906
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:15,440
Speaker 1: what's your sibling doing? You can tell me, So I'm

907
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:17,560
Speaker 1: not gonna. I'm not gonna saying. You know, they're like

908
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 1: ass up to they have punishment for two years. You're like, damn,

909
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:25,120
Speaker 1: she told me she wasn't say anything. So man, I

910
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 1: feel bad you're doing here because it's next question. It's

911
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:29,719
Speaker 1: okay where she's good. I would tell you. So, you

912
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:32,000
Speaker 1: have six kids, so that means your sex life was popping.

913
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:35,239
Speaker 1: Was there ever a time that things got like stagnant

914
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:37,920
Speaker 1: or you guys have a different type of sex drive.

915
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:41,360
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, yeah, she can go out she was.

916
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:47,920
Speaker 1: I think that's any I think, yes, any relationship. Yeah,

917
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:50,879
Speaker 1: I think it's like, you know, isn't it great when

918
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:53,439
Speaker 1: you both feel the same thing at the same time?

919
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:55,719
Speaker 1: And how often does that happen? Like it's like two

920
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:57,880
Speaker 1: days when we're like on the same page, and then

921
00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:00,440
Speaker 1: it's like I love you more than the other. It's like, yeah,

922
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:02,000
Speaker 1: I don't love you that much, and and I love you,

923
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:04,840
Speaker 1: you know, and it's it's a cycle, so you know,

924
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:08,719
Speaker 1: I definitely think that that is kind of always how

925
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:11,920
Speaker 1: things are. But as I've gotten older, I know I

926
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:14,919
Speaker 1: have definitely changed. Like I was saying earlier, I feel

927
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:16,919
Speaker 1: like like with young girls you were like your friends

928
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,200
Speaker 1: who were like corning when they were young. I'm like,

929
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:23,239
Speaker 1: like that, I don't even you know. I feel like

930
00:51:23,320 --> 00:51:26,120
Speaker 1: it's taking a long time for me as a woman,

931
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:29,839
Speaker 1: Like I feel like it takes time to come into

932
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:35,320
Speaker 1: your sexuality, into um just being comfortable with like I

933
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:39,440
Speaker 1: am not just here for you, like you're actually here

934
00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:42,000
Speaker 1: for me. Knowing your body. I feel like as I've

935
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:44,320
Speaker 1: gotten older, I know my body more, not just sexually,

936
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:46,839
Speaker 1: but just like I can tell my cycle is coming.

937
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:50,839
Speaker 1: You know, I can tell when I'm bloated, little different things,

938
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:56,399
Speaker 1: all right, I used to have that never, but yeah,

939
00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:58,919
Speaker 1: it's like different things. I can tell about my body,

940
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 1: how I'm feeling, and versus when I was younger, I

941
00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:03,480
Speaker 1: would be confused, like what's going on? And I was like,

942
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:06,720
Speaker 1: this is what this is. She got her vagina. Imagine

943
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:14,040
Speaker 1: the rejuvenation. It's nice. A laser, one la, just a

944
00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:17,120
Speaker 1: little lazer. It was nice. She said that. Well, can

945
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:18,920
Speaker 1: we say yes? Since she said it makes him come

946
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 1: so fast that sometimes I feel like, but it's not

947
00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 1: that sad, but I have noticed that since I've gotten

948
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:33,799
Speaker 1: it done, things are ending a little more quicker than

949
00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:37,480
Speaker 1: they have been in the past. It feels better to me,

950
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:40,120
Speaker 1: It does feel better. Sex definitely feels better to me,

951
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 1: and then return it should feel better to him, which

952
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:46,759
Speaker 1: is why so fast does he say it feels better? No,

953
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:51,400
Speaker 1: we actually haven't talked about it. You safe, wait did you?

954
00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:53,080
Speaker 1: I didn't tell him because I wanted to see what

955
00:52:53,200 --> 00:52:55,640
Speaker 1: his reaction was gonna be. And then I saw his

956
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:58,320
Speaker 1: reaction and I was like, I don't even to mention it,

957
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:01,040
Speaker 1: and I just never tell he was never talking about

958
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:03,560
Speaker 1: never talked about. But I didn't because I did it

959
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:06,920
Speaker 1: because not because I wanted it for sexual reasons, but

960
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:10,120
Speaker 1: because I was releasing a little bit of yurine when

961
00:53:10,160 --> 00:53:12,520
Speaker 1: I would call for sneeze sometimes, and it became to

962
00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:15,560
Speaker 1: be embarrassing for me. No, I I understand, Yeah, it

963
00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:17,839
Speaker 1: began to be embarrassing for me. So, um, I had

964
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:20,279
Speaker 1: spoke to someone that had brought it up and told

965
00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 1: me that they did that, and I'm like, all right,

966
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:23,239
Speaker 1: I'm looking to it. And then I found a place

967
00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:24,960
Speaker 1: and I went and did it and that that part worked.

968
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:31,120
Speaker 1: But so, okay, that's interesting because it's not necessarily Um,

969
00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:35,479
Speaker 1: I don't think it's like a proven treatment. It isn't.

970
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 1: It isn't. And when I went because I'm one of

971
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 1: those type of people that I'm going to read up

972
00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:42,520
Speaker 1: on stuff and research stuff and ask questions and get

973
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:44,719
Speaker 1: you know, doctor's opinions and something like that. So I

974
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:47,280
Speaker 1: actually went to my gowna colleges before I did this treatment,

975
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:48,680
Speaker 1: and I told him that that's what I was doing

976
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:51,200
Speaker 1: it why He's like, no, he's like, this a gimmick.

977
00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:53,120
Speaker 1: He said, it will make it vagina tighter, but it's

978
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:55,520
Speaker 1: not going to fix that problem. It has helped, but

979
00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:57,479
Speaker 1: it might not be a permanent fix for that problem.

980
00:53:57,520 --> 00:53:59,360
Speaker 1: So who knows, I might coughing people myself again, I

981
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:01,600
Speaker 1: don't know. You know what sex is good right now?

982
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 1: That's that's good, that's import I mean the vaginasm myself,

983
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:12,200
Speaker 1: so you know, yes, and the exactly say the practic.

984
00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:15,520
Speaker 1: The nurse spectations who did the procedure told me that

985
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:19,640
Speaker 1: to keego forever. Don't stop keiggling, and she said, don't Paul,

986
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:38,080
Speaker 1: don't hold it, don't stop giggling, don't stop giggling. And

987
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:40,919
Speaker 1: you got to do keegoes when you're having sex. Yes,

988
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:44,960
Speaker 1: you do. Oh that's fun, that goes. I love God.

989
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:51,239
Speaker 1: But you have to think about it. I know it

990
00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:54,200
Speaker 1: does kind of take away from the right because you're

991
00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:56,200
Speaker 1: mine and you want to do it at the right time,

992
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:59,839
Speaker 1: Like when he's pulling away, you want to be grabbing back.

993
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:05,080
Speaker 1: You go back and he's pulling away, you want to

994
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:10,520
Speaker 1: grab So it is like you do have to pay

995
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:13,279
Speaker 1: attention to do that. But if you think, if you

996
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:14,879
Speaker 1: do it more often and you have to think about

997
00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:20,160
Speaker 1: it less because natural it doesn't come natural to me yet.

998
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:22,799
Speaker 1: But I guess I should think about it more, think

999
00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:24,719
Speaker 1: about it more, and then it becomes natural and then

1000
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:27,360
Speaker 1: you don't have to think about it and it just

1001
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:29,520
Speaker 1: becomes like, you know, this is just what we did,

1002
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:33,920
Speaker 1: what I do. So you were enjoying going out and

1003
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:36,239
Speaker 1: like now that you have this book right out and

1004
00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:38,320
Speaker 1: I saw you've been doing a lot of press and everything.

1005
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:42,040
Speaker 1: So have you ever been like a little bit where

1006
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:44,719
Speaker 1: you're being in the spotlight and doing these interviews and

1007
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:49,080
Speaker 1: doing press or are you okay with it? Um? No.

1008
00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:54,760
Speaker 1: I made a very conscious decision, like before I started

1009
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:57,960
Speaker 1: even promoting the book of you know, how I was

1010
00:55:58,080 --> 00:56:00,680
Speaker 1: going to approach the situation. And then I felt like

1011
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:04,000
Speaker 1: I'm either you know, I would either do stuff the

1012
00:56:04,080 --> 00:56:05,520
Speaker 1: whole way or I'm not going to do it at all.

1013
00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:08,400
Speaker 1: You know, like I'm not gonna do anything half ass

1014
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:12,040
Speaker 1: and I'm not going to go out here and be like,

1015
00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:15,800
Speaker 1: oh yeah, things are great and you know, and I'm like,

1016
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 1: it was important for me to to be open, to

1017
00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:24,640
Speaker 1: be real, to be transparent and um two, you know,

1018
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:30,239
Speaker 1: do the promotions myself. Um So it was it can

1019
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:36,480
Speaker 1: it is definitely not comfortable, but I do again, I

1020
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:39,080
Speaker 1: do think it's important. I really really you're doing a

1021
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:45,239
Speaker 1: great job to be the most different one you've done

1022
00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:51,200
Speaker 1: so far. It is It's like, no, I love it.

1023
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:53,320
Speaker 1: I love it. I think this is important because I

1024
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:56,640
Speaker 1: think we don't do this enough, like with each other

1025
00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:59,239
Speaker 1: and for each other, and I think it's so so,

1026
00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:03,560
Speaker 1: so so important. Like you know, I I talked to

1027
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:06,680
Speaker 1: my kids about sex and my um. I've talked to

1028
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:09,480
Speaker 1: all the girls and my first boy. And the boy though,

1029
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:11,960
Speaker 1: was the first one that came and asked me. He

1030
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:14,920
Speaker 1: asked you first. He asked me first, and he's like, so,

1031
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:17,320
Speaker 1: if any of my sisters ask you, and I don't know,

1032
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:19,640
Speaker 1: you're the first one to you know, come to me.

1033
00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:23,120
Speaker 1: But I do think, you know, just talking about your body,

1034
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:24,960
Speaker 1: and you know, because I think talking about sex is

1035
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:27,560
Speaker 1: not just sex. It's like, you know, I want them

1036
00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:31,440
Speaker 1: to know about their body and you know, like it's

1037
00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:34,400
Speaker 1: okay to masturbate. It's better to masturbate than it is

1038
00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:38,040
Speaker 1: to go into you know, have sex with someone, and

1039
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:40,840
Speaker 1: you know, just we I try to be open with them,

1040
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:42,840
Speaker 1: and I feel like that's kind of what what this

1041
00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:44,920
Speaker 1: is like. We get to be open with each other.

1042
00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:46,959
Speaker 1: That's good. And I appreciate you for saying that because

1043
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:49,400
Speaker 1: we do have great conversations about sex so that people

1044
00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:52,320
Speaker 1: can see whatever it is that you decide willingly to

1045
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 1: do with your partner is okay exactly. People may like

1046
00:57:57,040 --> 00:57:59,400
Speaker 1: things that you know I wouldn't do. People may not

1047
00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:01,520
Speaker 1: do that they that I would do, But that's fine.

1048
00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:03,720
Speaker 1: We love to hear about it though, right, And even

1049
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:07,000
Speaker 1: though it's always a little bit discussion, even on this,

1050
00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:09,480
Speaker 1: you know, show you ladies, I've heard you all say

1051
00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:11,880
Speaker 1: different things. You know, somebody likes this or doesn't like this.

1052
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:14,720
Speaker 1: And I do think that it's important because we put

1053
00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:18,200
Speaker 1: these labels on each other and you know what's normal,

1054
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:21,640
Speaker 1: And I'm like, normal, how do you define what's normal? Uh?

1055
00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:24,320
Speaker 1: You know, is it greater than fifty of you know,

1056
00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:28,040
Speaker 1: any given population is doing it? So to me, I,

1057
00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:31,600
Speaker 1: you know, just think people sharing their experiences and what

1058
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:34,800
Speaker 1: you know they like or don't like. And I think

1059
00:58:34,840 --> 00:58:37,440
Speaker 1: it is so important. I feel like, especially as women like,

1060
00:58:38,120 --> 00:58:40,720
Speaker 1: we need to talk to each other more often and

1061
00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:46,080
Speaker 1: be just supportive, supportive and open and not judgmental. I

1062
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:48,920
Speaker 1: agree with that. I don't never call nobody a slept,

1063
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:51,800
Speaker 1: a hole or none of those things unless I'm mad

1064
00:58:51,840 --> 00:59:07,200
Speaker 1: at h bit, right, man, But I feel like this,

1065
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:09,680
Speaker 1: if you are single and you're sleeping with whoever you

1066
00:59:09,760 --> 00:59:12,520
Speaker 1: want that single and you're doing those things and making

1067
00:59:12,560 --> 00:59:14,800
Speaker 1: those decisions about your own body, you should be able

1068
00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 1: to do what you want to do. Absolutely, don't tell

1069
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:21,280
Speaker 1: nobody's man, right, or if you do, man, be like,

1070
00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:23,200
Speaker 1: be honest about it. You know what I'm saying something

1071
00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:26,000
Speaker 1: like you would be surprised what people would be tolerant

1072
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:28,520
Speaker 1: of if you would be honest. I feel like so

1073
00:59:28,720 --> 00:59:31,840
Speaker 1: sad that are not honest, And it's like some people

1074
00:59:31,880 --> 00:59:34,680
Speaker 1: are okay with a lot of stuff, but don't be

1075
00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:39,280
Speaker 1: a fucking sneaky person. Like if somebody's man called you,

1076
00:59:39,800 --> 00:59:41,400
Speaker 1: I mean somebody's girl called you and was like, are

1077
00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:43,280
Speaker 1: you talking my man? Would you be like, yes, I am.

1078
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:51,720
Speaker 1: It depends on what you're talking about. I feel like

1079
00:59:51,960 --> 01:00:01,840
Speaker 1: that's as you might not even know that that's her man. Wait, wait,

1080
01:00:02,880 --> 01:00:05,840
Speaker 1: and who are you calling me about? Because he wasn't

1081
01:00:10,560 --> 01:00:13,919
Speaker 1: sure that we're talking about the same person. But let's

1082
01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:16,080
Speaker 1: just say you did, Like, would you if the girl

1083
01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:18,680
Speaker 1: calls you're the one having sex with this guy and

1084
01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:21,360
Speaker 1: if you didn't know about it, Yeah, let's say you

1085
01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:27,000
Speaker 1: get't know about her. That such a hard question. I

1086
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:30,880
Speaker 1: want to feed into this argument right now? Or do

1087
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:34,000
Speaker 1: I just want to hang up and deal with it

1088
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:35,800
Speaker 1: how I want to deal with it, because now I'm

1089
01:00:35,880 --> 01:00:38,120
Speaker 1: hurt too because I'm with somebody and I didn't know that.

1090
01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:41,439
Speaker 1: But if you did them now, I wouldn't be mussing

1091
01:00:41,480 --> 01:00:43,800
Speaker 1: with them because I'm not the type of person. I

1092
01:00:43,960 --> 01:00:50,439
Speaker 1: was trying to trick questions. Good answer like no, that wasn't.

1093
01:00:51,760 --> 01:00:54,240
Speaker 1: But I feel like as you get older, That's what

1094
01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:56,959
Speaker 1: I don't understand. As people get older, As women get older,

1095
01:00:57,040 --> 01:00:59,280
Speaker 1: don't you feel like you would you make so much

1096
01:00:59,520 --> 01:01:02,160
Speaker 1: you're this decisions are different and better now, Like you're like,

1097
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:04,120
Speaker 1: I wouldn't mess with someone's man now when I'm older.

1098
01:01:04,280 --> 01:01:08,120
Speaker 1: When you're younger, you're like, yeah, right, that's I'm like,

1099
01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:10,400
Speaker 1: how do older women like what are you doing? Have

1100
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:14,040
Speaker 1: you not learned any like life life lessons? Do things

1101
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:17,000
Speaker 1: like that? Just keep doing what I'm saying, dumb sh

1102
01:01:17,080 --> 01:01:20,439
Speaker 1: it okay, And then that's and then those are people

1103
01:01:20,480 --> 01:01:23,320
Speaker 1: I feel like they don't deserve any respect. But dudes do,

1104
01:01:23,440 --> 01:01:27,520
Speaker 1: be lying, right, yes they do. Why the guys one

1105
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:30,320
Speaker 1: guy like what, I don't want to play your name

1106
01:01:30,360 --> 01:01:33,400
Speaker 1: out so I'm not, but guy, somebody looking in their phone,

1107
01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:40,520
Speaker 1: looking at the directions, sweating, sweat beads dropping, Yes, I not.

1108
01:01:42,080 --> 01:01:45,720
Speaker 1: I think they have a very interesting relationship with honesty.

1109
01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:49,240
Speaker 1: I feel like guys lie by mistake. It's just so

1110
01:01:49,560 --> 01:01:54,000
Speaker 1: natural for them. But it's like it's like it's just

1111
01:01:54,160 --> 01:02:00,920
Speaker 1: just like it's like they fell into pussy into no.

1112
01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:03,280
Speaker 1: But I feel like guys forget about cheating. Of course

1113
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:06,840
Speaker 1: they're always gonna lie about that, but you don't talk

1114
01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:11,480
Speaker 1: but like dumb shit, like what time did you leave work?

1115
01:02:11,920 --> 01:02:14,920
Speaker 1: I left at four thirty. Meanwhile, they left at twelve

1116
01:02:14,960 --> 01:02:18,320
Speaker 1: o'clock and they were doing but and they weren't even

1117
01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:20,800
Speaker 1: doing anything wrong. Maybe they weren't to a bookstore, or

1118
01:02:20,880 --> 01:02:23,560
Speaker 1: they went to have a drink, a happy hour drink

1119
01:02:23,680 --> 01:02:28,080
Speaker 1: or something totally innocent about store. Now, my boyfriend like

1120
01:02:29,120 --> 01:02:37,200
Speaker 1: it was they never went to the books. That's a girl.

1121
01:02:39,080 --> 01:02:44,040
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, like, guys they lie just to lie,

1122
01:02:44,440 --> 01:02:47,280
Speaker 1: just by mistake, Like they just lie for no reason,

1123
01:02:48,080 --> 01:02:51,000
Speaker 1: you know what. I do have a son and I'm

1124
01:02:51,120 --> 01:02:55,760
Speaker 1: like this like tried. I'm like, you gotta stop lying.

1125
01:02:55,920 --> 01:02:57,520
Speaker 1: I tell him, I'm like, you don't be known as

1126
01:02:57,600 --> 01:02:59,200
Speaker 1: a dude that people are gonna be like he's cool,

1127
01:02:59,280 --> 01:03:03,520
Speaker 1: but then they could be mine about dumb ship, like

1128
01:03:03,720 --> 01:03:08,240
Speaker 1: he puts girl. We had hand soap and it was

1129
01:03:08,360 --> 01:03:12,040
Speaker 1: called like Summer Breeze or something right, and it had

1130
01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:14,080
Speaker 1: sand in it, and I'm like, this is so com

1131
01:03:14,280 --> 01:03:20,600
Speaker 1: with sand and sandow I'm not peopleated sand in there.

1132
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:23,800
Speaker 1: Lit Like when I say he lied to me, I

1133
01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:26,480
Speaker 1: don't know where that came from. As soon as the

1134
01:03:26,520 --> 01:03:29,440
Speaker 1: babysitter caps, he goes, hey, look what I did to

1135
01:03:29,480 --> 01:03:31,840
Speaker 1: the soap. It was a science project. And I was like,

1136
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:35,520
Speaker 1: what hell you? And what's the big deal about? If

1137
01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:43,120
Speaker 1: that's what I'm dumb ship, Like he's young, he's not girl.

1138
01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:47,680
Speaker 1: Sand in his hand soap? That was He was like, no, no, no,

1139
01:03:48,680 --> 01:03:51,280
Speaker 1: I don't be believing him. And and sometimes I'm like

1140
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:55,000
Speaker 1: there's been times where he'll tell me something. I'm like

1141
01:03:55,120 --> 01:03:58,360
Speaker 1: this name, and then I'm like, find he was telling

1142
01:03:58,400 --> 01:04:01,280
Speaker 1: the truth, And then I'm not, I'm like the boy

1143
01:04:01,360 --> 01:04:03,720
Speaker 1: you cry. That's why I tried to tell him. He

1144
01:04:03,880 --> 01:04:05,840
Speaker 1: thought he told me there was an owl outside one

1145
01:04:05,960 --> 01:04:07,200
Speaker 1: night when I was getting Sup out of the car

1146
01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:12,120
Speaker 1: and he was helping me, like outside and I went

1147
01:04:12,200 --> 01:04:15,680
Speaker 1: back the owl and I came back in the house

1148
01:04:15,760 --> 01:04:18,360
Speaker 1: and I was crying and I felt so I was like,

1149
01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:24,040
Speaker 1: you gotta stop this, You're healing me, Like this is

1150
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:41,720
Speaker 1: that from this nowhere? Yeah, I don't know, but yes,

1151
01:04:41,880 --> 01:04:45,520
Speaker 1: I that he is a perfect you know, testament to

1152
01:04:45,680 --> 01:04:49,680
Speaker 1: that where I'm like, this is the damage, like stop,

1153
01:04:49,880 --> 01:04:53,040
Speaker 1: you gotta stop, and he's mommy prom like Roberts. I

1154
01:04:53,200 --> 01:04:56,240
Speaker 1: tell him like, look, there's nothing you could do ever

1155
01:04:56,400 --> 01:04:58,760
Speaker 1: in life that would ever, ever, ever change how I

1156
01:04:58,840 --> 01:05:01,720
Speaker 1: feel about you ever unless you put hand in this.

1157
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:07,160
Speaker 1: But what will change, what will change our relationship is

1158
01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:11,160
Speaker 1: you lying right me not being able to trust you lying.

1159
01:05:11,640 --> 01:05:15,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, I just what it is, though it is

1160
01:05:15,640 --> 01:05:19,880
Speaker 1: mind boggling, Like it's like and he would come and like, mommy,

1161
01:05:19,880 --> 01:05:30,720
Speaker 1: I understand. I'm so sorry already. But he's such a lover.

1162
01:05:31,080 --> 01:05:36,320
Speaker 1: He is um you know, he's in the march is

1163
01:05:36,400 --> 01:05:43,320
Speaker 1: He's so he's it's the aries Aries, He's in the Yeah,

1164
01:05:43,400 --> 01:05:46,080
Speaker 1: and he is a lover. He's like, you didn't give

1165
01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:48,760
Speaker 1: me a kiss on the lips. I'm like, get out

1166
01:05:48,800 --> 01:05:55,200
Speaker 1: of here. That's all I even like ladies uh nine,

1167
01:05:58,120 --> 01:06:00,320
Speaker 1: like mommy, give me a kiss on the lift. Lives.

1168
01:06:01,600 --> 01:06:11,200
Speaker 1: He's gonna be a perfect liar. Please do say that.

1169
01:06:11,320 --> 01:06:14,200
Speaker 1: I got stuffed with that out there. I'm not going

1170
01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:17,400
Speaker 1: to do that now. It's a phase. He'll get over it. Yeah, okay,

1171
01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:24,400
Speaker 1: I hope so right, I need everyone today, right and like,

1172
01:06:24,800 --> 01:06:28,560
Speaker 1: let's wish this way. It's you now. But yeah, that's

1173
01:06:28,640 --> 01:06:31,440
Speaker 1: what I know. Seriously, you know, like everybody knows, like

1174
01:06:31,520 --> 01:06:33,640
Speaker 1: the dudes, and you're like, damn, they're gonna be lying

1175
01:06:33,720 --> 01:06:37,280
Speaker 1: all the time. You don't reason why. Man. I had

1176
01:06:37,320 --> 01:06:39,200
Speaker 1: a friend that lied to me about where he went

1177
01:06:39,240 --> 01:06:41,680
Speaker 1: to school for no, I don't even understand. Why were

1178
01:06:41,720 --> 01:06:44,480
Speaker 1: you gonna care? Either way? It was in high school

1179
01:06:44,520 --> 01:06:46,520
Speaker 1: and he said that he went to this private school.

1180
01:06:46,720 --> 01:06:49,120
Speaker 1: I guess because that's when I was in But he

1181
01:06:49,160 --> 01:06:51,080
Speaker 1: went to this public school. And so one day I

1182
01:06:51,200 --> 01:06:53,280
Speaker 1: was with him and his boy and he was like,

1183
01:06:54,080 --> 01:06:56,000
Speaker 1: you know, said something that his friends had saithing about

1184
01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:57,600
Speaker 1: his school. I think he went to man Luca King

1185
01:06:57,720 --> 01:06:59,760
Speaker 1: or something like that. And then I was like, wait

1186
01:06:59,760 --> 01:07:03,360
Speaker 1: a minut, and I thought she went to um little

1187
01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:05,640
Speaker 1: I forget what the school was called. And he was like, no,

1188
01:07:05,760 --> 01:07:07,640
Speaker 1: I just said that because they get caught up. Yeah,

1189
01:07:07,680 --> 01:07:08,840
Speaker 1: he was like I just said that because you go

1190
01:07:08,880 --> 01:07:10,120
Speaker 1: to pipe school. I don't know if he was gonna

1191
01:07:10,120 --> 01:07:12,360
Speaker 1: talk to me, and I was like, I would have

1192
01:07:12,480 --> 01:07:15,360
Speaker 1: liked you better everything anytime. He was going to n

1193
01:07:15,520 --> 01:07:19,360
Speaker 1: y you right. I've seen his mom at b J's

1194
01:07:19,600 --> 01:07:21,640
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, oh his mom and I

1195
01:07:21,720 --> 01:07:23,600
Speaker 1: was like yes, and my mom said to her to

1196
01:07:23,800 --> 01:07:25,600
Speaker 1: his mom o house. He likeing, m my you. She

1197
01:07:25,800 --> 01:07:29,720
Speaker 1: was like everywhere you please to go to BNCC oh.

1198
01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:32,240
Speaker 1: I was like, I didn't lie to me about that,

1199
01:07:32,320 --> 01:07:34,280
Speaker 1: and then I was embarrassed because my mom was there

1200
01:07:34,480 --> 01:07:40,520
Speaker 1: and said that, and I was like, joy her dinner.

1201
01:07:41,480 --> 01:07:43,360
Speaker 1: He said lied for no reason, and then I like

1202
01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:47,120
Speaker 1: it was no big deal. Maybe he started like when

1203
01:07:47,160 --> 01:07:49,720
Speaker 1: he was ship, I got ask if you ever put

1204
01:07:49,760 --> 01:07:54,000
Speaker 1: sand in so, and like like like lied, like I haven't,

1205
01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:56,360
Speaker 1: was not me. I don't know how that got there

1206
01:07:57,320 --> 01:08:00,120
Speaker 1: in your eyes, like like I had footage here, No,

1207
01:08:01,440 --> 01:08:04,920
Speaker 1: oh my god, there is footage of Hampton her hands

1208
01:08:04,960 --> 01:08:07,800
Speaker 1: out with that, but something else and I was it

1209
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:10,840
Speaker 1: was a robotics class and I was like, oh my god,

1210
01:08:10,960 --> 01:08:15,240
Speaker 1: what's wrong with you? It's kind of cute. At the

1211
01:08:15,280 --> 01:08:17,439
Speaker 1: same time You're like this is weird. A little law

1212
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:28,280
Speaker 1: your mother little lips. I love you. Well, maybe why

1213
01:08:28,280 --> 01:08:30,160
Speaker 1: don't you let everybody know the book and how they

1214
01:08:30,200 --> 01:08:31,840
Speaker 1: can get it and where they can find you so

1215
01:08:31,920 --> 01:08:35,320
Speaker 1: they can follow you. So, um, the book is uh

1216
01:08:37,479 --> 01:08:41,840
Speaker 1: Bose Guide to Blackish Parenting, um, keeping up with the Johnson's.

1217
01:08:41,920 --> 01:08:45,760
Speaker 1: And it's everywhere, Um, Amazon's easiest place. But it was

1218
01:08:45,880 --> 01:08:50,120
Speaker 1: sold out. We reordered more. Um, you can also get

1219
01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:56,000
Speaker 1: it my Barnes and Nobles. They were sold out to Really,

1220
01:08:56,080 --> 01:08:58,280
Speaker 1: I was really excited. I'm like, you can't get anywhere

1221
01:08:58,280 --> 01:09:03,720
Speaker 1: in California. Um, but we ordered more. And um, I'm

1222
01:09:03,760 --> 01:09:07,160
Speaker 1: on Instagram at the Real Rainbow th h A. And

1223
01:09:07,880 --> 01:09:09,920
Speaker 1: I'm working on another book as well. I heard you

1224
01:09:10,000 --> 01:09:13,360
Speaker 1: say you are working on a book, So congratulation, thank you. Yeah.

1225
01:09:13,439 --> 01:09:16,960
Speaker 1: What's the next time it's it's it's parenting. It's just

1226
01:09:17,160 --> 01:09:19,840
Speaker 1: much more, um, a little bit more specific. It will

1227
01:09:19,880 --> 01:09:22,720
Speaker 1: be hopefully you'll have me back on the show. It'll

1228
01:09:22,760 --> 01:09:26,400
Speaker 1: be it'll be a very good topic of conversation. It

1229
01:09:26,400 --> 01:09:32,439
Speaker 1: will be perfect for this yeah spicy, yeah, yeah, Well,

1230
01:09:32,520 --> 01:09:34,640
Speaker 1: thank you so much, and listen, don't forget we do

1231
01:09:34,800 --> 01:09:36,800
Speaker 1: have and this is the last show before our live show.

1232
01:09:37,320 --> 01:09:39,760
Speaker 1: So our live show is June nineteen at Sony Hall.

1233
01:09:39,840 --> 01:09:42,040
Speaker 1: We have a new edition. Dave East is going to

1234
01:09:42,120 --> 01:09:45,080
Speaker 1: be joining us as well as Traina. It's Been to

1235
01:09:45,200 --> 01:09:47,760
Speaker 1: You has an album out as well next week and

1236
01:09:48,080 --> 01:09:50,760
Speaker 1: we also have Devalin, Canine Ellis who have been on

1237
01:09:50,800 --> 01:09:53,280
Speaker 1: Live Service before, and Styles Pete and his wife Agia.

1238
01:09:53,600 --> 01:09:59,960
Speaker 1: This is an all star Yeah, make sure you get

1239
01:10:00,120 --> 01:10:02,720
Speaker 1: your tickets. It's in all of our links on Instagram

1240
01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:04,920
Speaker 1: and it's a good time. We don't have a we

1241
01:10:04,960 --> 01:10:07,040
Speaker 1: don't have a curfew. Start I'm talking on tequila. We

1242
01:10:07,120 --> 01:10:09,920
Speaker 1: don't have a curfew, so it's gonna be like you know,

1243
01:10:10,280 --> 01:10:12,679
Speaker 1: we're gonna go and go and go, go go. Yeah,

1244
01:10:12,840 --> 01:10:17,560
Speaker 1: that's gonna be. We don't have a curfew. Yeah, we

1245
01:10:17,680 --> 01:10:22,439
Speaker 1: would love for you to come. Yeah. Thank you, Thank

1246
01:10:22,479 --> 01:10:26,080
Speaker 1: you to ye such a good Thank you. Lift service

1247
01:10:26,160 --> 01:10:26,200
Speaker 1: to