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Speaker 1: Congratulations, you've been accepted into the inaugural class of Therapy

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Speaker 1: for Black Girls University or tBu for short. Whether you're

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Speaker 1: packing for a new year on campus, thinking through your

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Speaker 1: gap year, enrolling in a community college, or grabbing your

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Speaker 1: stulls for graduation, Embarking on the next chapter of your

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Speaker 1: life is often exciting but also a little scary. There

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Speaker 1: can be a lot of unknowns that can leave you

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Speaker 1: feeling uncertain, and having the right support can help you

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Speaker 1: to feel confident and grounded. TBGU was designed to help

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Speaker 1: you strengthen your voice, sharpen your knowledge, and affirm who

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Speaker 1: you are and who you'll become. Our goal is to

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Speaker 1: create relevant and accessible resources, content and experiences to help

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Speaker 1: you thrive at this stage of your life and beyond.

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Speaker 1: If something real an eates with you while enjoying our conversation,

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Speaker 1: please share it with us on social media using the

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Speaker 1: hashtag TBG University and be sure to join us over

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Speaker 1: on TikTok and Instagram at TBG University. Our seminar is

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Speaker 1: now in session. Laptops or phones out you'll definitely want

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Speaker 1: to take notes. I'm Jana Ellis. I'm a student at

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Speaker 1: the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill graduating class

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Speaker 1: of twenty twenty three, and this is TBG University. I'm

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Speaker 1: Kalia James. I'm a student at Howard University, graduating class

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Speaker 1: of twenty twenty three, and this is TBG University. I'm

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Speaker 1: so excited to introduce you to our two guests today,

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Speaker 1: Jana Ellis and Khalia James, two incredible graduating seniors with

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Speaker 1: a wealth of knowledge and lived experience that they're going

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Speaker 1: to share with us today. To kick us off, we're

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Speaker 1: going to hear a little bit from Jana and Kalia

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Speaker 1: about some of the invaluable lessons they've learned over the

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Speaker 1: last four years and how their perspectives have changed and

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Speaker 1: becoming upper class women. Khalia will kick us off. So

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Speaker 1: the first thing is just balancing my life, being on

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Speaker 1: my own schedule because until now, like high school, you're

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Speaker 1: told where to be, when to be and even though

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Speaker 1: we still have classes, now they're way more spread apart

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Speaker 1: and you have more free time to figure out what

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Speaker 1: you want to do certain hobbies. So that was the

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Speaker 1: first thing. And then moving into my own apartment, meal prepping,

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Speaker 1: having to feed yourself betimes a day, like it's a task,

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Speaker 1: it's a task, and also moving your body being active.

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Speaker 1: That was another thing. I felt like, you know, you're young,

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Speaker 1: so you don't always have to worry about that stuff.

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Speaker 1: But I think for the long term, I want to

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Speaker 1: keep my body healthy, so finding time to be active

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Speaker 1: and evaluating the people in my life and making sure

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Speaker 1: that the people that surround myself with have similar lifestyle

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Speaker 1: to me. I think, especially as a teenager, you care

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Speaker 1: about being liked a lot, and that still goes into college.

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Speaker 1: So just having the curves to be disliked or just

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Speaker 1: following your own path and not feeling pressure to do

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Speaker 1: certain things because everyone else is doing them. So my

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Speaker 1: senior year has taught me so much about myself in

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Speaker 1: a way that the past three years just has not,

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Speaker 1: and that has scared me, that has excited me. It

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Speaker 1: has maybe uncomfortable, but I feel like there's no other

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Speaker 1: time in my life that I should be feeling these things.

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Speaker 1: It's a transition period. I've accepted that. I've accepted that

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Speaker 1: with change comes uncomfortableness, and with that it's all about

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Speaker 1: how you talk to yourself, what's your outlook on life,

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Speaker 1: like you decide how you want to think about senior year.

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Speaker 1: So I just have really tried my best and moments

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Speaker 1: of uncertainty and moments of anxiety just to see the

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Speaker 1: positive so to speak about like the year itself and

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Speaker 1: all the accomplishments I've made throughout my time at Carolina,

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Speaker 1: and just accepting the fact that this is a positive transition,

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Speaker 1: This is a normal transition, and there are thousands of

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Speaker 1: other students experiencing the same thing. So like finding community

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Speaker 1: and solace in that has been really important to me.

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Speaker 1: It's impressive that these young women have been able to

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Speaker 1: identify these life skills and put them into practice. It

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Speaker 1: becomes even more exceptional as I'm reminded that a portion

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Speaker 1: of their collegiate experiences were impacted by the COVID nineteen pandemic.

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Speaker 1: So I heard a university view you were virtual for

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Speaker 1: a year and a half and I was very end

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Speaker 1: of my freshman year, and then we didn't get back

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Speaker 1: in person until the second semester of my junior year,

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Speaker 1: and it really affected I guess there's the social aspect

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Speaker 1: of college, which is honestly, especially underground, it's a very

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Speaker 1: important aspect. Like just doing the work in my childhood

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Speaker 1: bedroom had me going insane and I was just like

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Speaker 1: on my phone a lot more because I had to

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Speaker 1: be on my phone for school, and then being on

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Speaker 1: my phone, my laptop has only been connected with my friends,

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Speaker 1: so it just felt like I was constantly in front

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Speaker 1: of a screen. And I guess that was about everyone,

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Speaker 1: but it was exhausting to not have human interaction during

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Speaker 1: such an important part of our young adulthood. And then

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Speaker 1: also when we got back to Howard, most of the

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Speaker 1: time only underclassmen are on campus, so a lot of

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Speaker 1: people are junior year. They had a starting off campus

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Speaker 1: in apartment. It like pushed forward the timeline of like us,

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Speaker 1: having the on campus experience at Howard and commuting to

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Speaker 1: college is a lot different than being on campus. You

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Speaker 1: can miss out on some of the activities and it

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Speaker 1: just prolonged your day because you have to go back

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Speaker 1: and forth and things of that nature. Freshman year great times.

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Speaker 1: That fall semester, I almost had too much fun. I

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Speaker 1: will say that too much fun. Needed to be in

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Speaker 1: a library a little bit more, But I don't have

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Speaker 1: immediate family that at Tendant School, so I'm walking into

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Speaker 1: it being presented just all of this fun, all of

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Speaker 1: this new beginnings, new life, new experienced new people, new food,

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Speaker 1: new cars, chopp oil, is a different socioeconomic status, Like,

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Speaker 1: it's all different from where I'm from. So that was

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Speaker 1: something that I did hold onto when I was comfortable.

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Speaker 1: I was getting familiar with the change of already transitioning

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Speaker 1: into a collegiate space. And then my spring semester, COVID happened,

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Speaker 1: And so you're getting adjusted to studying on your own,

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Speaker 1: You're getting adjusted to not having your family around you

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Speaker 1: as much. So learning how to take care of myself,

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Speaker 1: learning how to advocate for myself and not have my

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Speaker 1: parents to kind of like speak up for me if

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Speaker 1: a teacher is not treating me right. Like all these

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Speaker 1: things I had to learn I was getting familiar with.

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Speaker 1: And so once COVID happened, it kind of not kind of,

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Speaker 1: it did a brute my experience and quite literally change

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Speaker 1: the path of my journey. And I think, now having hindsight,

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Speaker 1: I am grateful for that because in the midst of

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Speaker 1: me enjoying myself and the midst of me having all

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Speaker 1: this fun that I don't regret. I do believe your

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Speaker 1: first semester, have the fun. That's the time to have

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Speaker 1: your fun. I'm an advocate for it, and then you

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Speaker 1: learn how to have fun with balance. I don't think

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Speaker 1: that without COVID I would have ever really found that

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Speaker 1: been flow of party, have fun, social life, and then

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Speaker 1: do your homework. So I think it would have came,

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Speaker 1: but I don't think it would have prompted me as

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Speaker 1: fast to get in that work hard, get some play mindset,

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Speaker 1: and so I am grateful not to COVID nineteen, but

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Speaker 1: I'm grateful for the secludedness and the focus that I

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Speaker 1: did have because while in my sophomore year, I was

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Speaker 1: finally able to learn how I need to learn to

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Speaker 1: succeed in school, I was able to get comfortable in

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Speaker 1: exploring my major without the pressure of everyone around me.

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Speaker 1: It felt like I was on my own journey. What

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Speaker 1: a journey it's been for both of them. Despite COVID

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Speaker 1: nineteen's impact, both Jana and Khalia were able to find

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Speaker 1: their own version of success where it counts the most

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Speaker 1: their academics. Kalia's path began early on in high school,

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Speaker 1: which set her on an extended development plan to achieve

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Speaker 1: her long term goals at Howard. Jana took a more

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Speaker 1: exploratory route, learning what she wanted to do by learning

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Speaker 1: what she did not want to do and ultimately finding

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Speaker 1: the confidence to find out what she's truly passionate about.

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Speaker 1: Both methods are valuable, valid, and common in the collegiate experience.

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Speaker 1: I am a senior elementary education major. I am preparing

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Speaker 1: to be a teacher for grades K kindergarten through fifth grade,

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Speaker 1: and were specified in learning how to teach an urban

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Speaker 1: education to support black and other minority students. So I

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Speaker 1: started volunteering with elementary students. In high school, I tutored

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Speaker 1: kindergartens and math, and that felt like very natural for me.

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Speaker 1: I noticed I had a lot of patients for kids.

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Speaker 1: And then my senior high school, I was in a

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Speaker 1: child development class and my counselor and a teacher for

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Speaker 1: that class brought it up to me like this could

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Speaker 1: be a pass for me and my senior high school

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Speaker 1: or their internship in the fourth grade class, I was

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Speaker 1: actually with my old fourth grade teacher who she made

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Speaker 1: a really big difference in my life, and it just

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Speaker 1: showed me like this could be my future. And then

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Speaker 1: I just started looking at colleges that offered that major,

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Speaker 1: and then I chose Howard because I'm from a small

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Speaker 1: town and I just wanted more excitement, not like New

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Speaker 1: York City. Excitement like New York is a little too

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Speaker 1: much for me. So THECS like a little calmer but

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Speaker 1: still has the city essence. So Howard, which is like

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Speaker 1: it's a perfect place. Thankfully, I changed my major at

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Speaker 1: least three times, and I was determined during the COVID

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Speaker 1: time of me being isolated and focused on myself to

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Speaker 1: find that path for me that I wanted, not what

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Speaker 1: everyone else was wanting for me, or the things that

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Speaker 1: they expected out of me. But I decided that this

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Speaker 1: journey is my own journey, and no one else can

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Speaker 1: write these papers for me but me. No one else

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Speaker 1: can go in that room and take that test. No

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Speaker 1: one else also have to wear If you get to

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Speaker 1: see on your transcript, you have to wear that. And

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Speaker 1: so once I allowed myself to be released from that

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Speaker 1: pressure and that expectation that I've been casted on. Exploring

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Speaker 1: your major is a brave thing that should not be

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Speaker 1: looked down upon. I was finally able to settle in

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Speaker 1: and I got a contact from a lady that worked

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Speaker 1: in the School of Education. It was this new program

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Speaker 1: starting called Human Organization and Leadership and Development, and I

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Speaker 1: was just like this is something that I could learn about,

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Speaker 1: like I would enjoy it. Once I started to think

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Speaker 1: of classes in a way of I want to enjoy it,

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Speaker 1: I want to learn, and not I need this for

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Speaker 1: the resume, or I need this for this, or I

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Speaker 1: need this for that. And I started to sit in

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Speaker 1: enjoying school. That's when I was able to put my

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Speaker 1: walls down and actually enjoy learning. And that's what you

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Speaker 1: should do in college, but oftentimes and not you're taking

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Speaker 1: the classes to get to the next thing. And I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to continue struggling. I was done struggling in school,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm smart, I'm capable, but these classes are just

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Speaker 1: not for me. This major is not for me. So

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Speaker 1: once I got that contact from the School of Education,

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Speaker 1: everything was written after that, and I decided to pick

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Speaker 1: up communication studies because I like learning about how people

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Speaker 1: communicate in a personal, organizational skills and just life skills

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Speaker 1: that can take you a long way. And yeah, like,

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Speaker 1: once I just stopped having a thought process based on

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Speaker 1: others and I allowed myself to make mistakes, to fail

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Speaker 1: to experience things, I was able to open myself up

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Speaker 1: to more opportunities here as important as academics are. We

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Speaker 1: can't understate that the social aspect of college is one

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Speaker 1: of the defining factors for many students. One important aspect

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Speaker 1: of collegiate socialization is the ability to involve yourself with

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Speaker 1: on campus organizations, groups, or simply just find your people,

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Speaker 1: the folks on campus that brighten your day, enlighten your perspective,

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Speaker 1: and remind you exactly why you made the choice to

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Speaker 1: go through this school instead of another. Kalia and Jana

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Speaker 1: both belong to on campus organizations, both which have drastically

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Speaker 1: impacted their college experience for the better. So I am

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Speaker 1: a part of Capital M the PROD Chapter of syndens

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Speaker 1: or incorporated in that experience has been unlike anything that

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Speaker 1: I could imagine. I have family members of adultas that

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Speaker 1: aunto their adultaods. But I knew that I wanted to

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Speaker 1: be a part of something that was bigger than me.

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Speaker 1: I knew that I wanted to give back to UNC

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Speaker 1: in a very specific and very niche way. And I

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Speaker 1: fell in love with capa Omicron. I fell in love

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Speaker 1: with the women and doing the work and showing up

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Speaker 1: in spaces and you know, just being themselves and being

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Speaker 1: authentic and being driven. I had some mentors that were

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Speaker 1: capa omicron and they just guided me. They guided me

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Speaker 1: in the way of unc in the big world that

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Speaker 1: this school can feel like at times. But I feel

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Speaker 1: like sisterhood as an only child. On top of that,

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Speaker 1: sisterhood has been something that has meant a lot to me.

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Speaker 1: Sisterhood allows me to feel grounded, It allows me to

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Speaker 1: feel motivated, It allows me to grow. Like being around

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Speaker 1: black women at my school that are like mind is

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Speaker 1: a very different in experience and we all approach things

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Speaker 1: in a different way. It allows you to learn in

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Speaker 1: just a way that you've never learned before about yourself,

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Speaker 1: about others, how to treat others, how to talk to

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Speaker 1: other people. Being in a sorority just has shown me

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Speaker 1: so much about myself and how I like to lead

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Speaker 1: and how I like to get the work done and

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Speaker 1: be in an organization. But I can't imagine my life

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Speaker 1: like without my sisters, and like what the impact that

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Speaker 1: they've had on me. I just it's something that's so

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Speaker 1: vast to me. It shaped my college experience to a

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Speaker 1: point where I couldn't imagine anything without my sisters, or

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Speaker 1: my chapter or sotore wars around the region or the

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Speaker 1: nation that I've met, So I'm definitely grateful for the opportunity.

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Speaker 1: By a freshman year, I was part of NAACP, but

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. I've never been an extracurricular gal.

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Speaker 1: My commitment to it it was always on and off,

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Speaker 1: and I would get like socially anxious to be in

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Speaker 1: those type of spaces. So my freshman year I found

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Speaker 1: friends through the people on my dorm. I was in

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Speaker 1: a like the community bathroom dorm, so we just got

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Speaker 1: close fast. And some people didn't like my dorm, but

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Speaker 1: I met a lot of good people. It's called quad,

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Speaker 1: so I meant a lot of my friends who there,

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Speaker 1: and then I wouldn't make friends who their friends. And

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Speaker 1: then I met people through my education majors or my classes.

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Speaker 1: We all have the same class as every semester because

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Speaker 1: a small cohort, so I found community within teachers. My

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Speaker 1: community now at Howard is on ex Mental Health Family.

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Speaker 1: ONYX stands for our Nirvana yearning existence and we focus

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Speaker 1: on bringing awareness to the Howard community on how to

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Speaker 1: cope with stress. We are in our first decade of

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Speaker 1: a do hoods, so that can be really hard for people.

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Speaker 1: And even though we are the generation that's most aware

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Speaker 1: of mental health. There still is stigma, especially in the

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Speaker 1: black community, about needing help, and sometimes the Howard Mental

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Speaker 1: Health Department isn't always reliable, not gonna lie, So we

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Speaker 1: are another source for people. I've noticed that a lot

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Speaker 1: of times we use substances to deal with our stress,

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Speaker 1: and I do that too. It's definitely normalized to go

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Speaker 1: to alcohol and weed, so I think that it helps

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Speaker 1: show other avenues to deal with stress. As Kalia mentioned,

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Speaker 1: the time period between eighteen to twenty eight is your

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Speaker 1: first decade of adulting and transitioning through It can take

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Speaker 1: a toll on your mental health that's completely normal, in

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Speaker 1: something no one needs to feel ashamed about. On top

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Speaker 1: of balancing your newly found independence plus your additional responsibilities,

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Speaker 1: taking care of yourself is something you have to set

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Speaker 1: the intention behind. Sometimes it involves reaching out their friends, family,

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Speaker 1: a trusted adviser or educator, or, in the case of

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Speaker 1: Khalia and so many other young people, a licensed mental

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Speaker 1: health professional. So I actually finished therapy, I wasn't in

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Speaker 1: for a year and a half and I tried to

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Speaker 1: go to therapist when I was fifteen, and I did

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Speaker 1: not like it. Like we only had one session and

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Speaker 1: I was just like giving her background information and I

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Speaker 1: told my mom, like, I'm not going back. I feel

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Speaker 1: like partially she was a white lady, so I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to talk to her. I'm not gonna lie. And

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Speaker 1: also I just wasn't ready. I would guys like myself

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Speaker 1: like I don't have problems, but I have depression and

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Speaker 1: anxiety that I've gotten over and like still worked through.

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Speaker 1: And then I also have ADHD. I'm on the spectrum.

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Speaker 1: My mom passed away my seeing year of high school,

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Speaker 1: and yes, she rest in peace. I went to college

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Speaker 1: still grieving her, and it caused me to look for

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Speaker 1: love in all the wrong places. And I wasn't coping

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Speaker 1: well with academics and also my love life. So the

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Speaker 1: pandemic hit and I went home and I was just

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Speaker 1: sitting in silence, and I was just like rehashing all

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Speaker 1: of my decisions that I made freshman year, and it

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Speaker 1: just made me depressed, and I was like, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to be this person anymore. And a lot of

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Speaker 1: my family was telling me, like, you have to choose happiness,

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Speaker 1: and it's got to a point where it's like I

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Speaker 1: don't want to feel like this anymore, and I want

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Speaker 1: to make better choices. I want to learn how to

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Speaker 1: cope with these feelings. And I was able to find

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Speaker 1: a therapist. It was a great experience. But no one

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Speaker 1: told me. After you you start healing, everything around you

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Speaker 1: just falls apart and comes back together and comes back together.

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Speaker 1: Everyone in your life is a reflection of you, who

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Speaker 1: you are, your philosophy and life. So when you change

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Speaker 1: your perspective, when you change your habits, you no longer

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Speaker 1: align with certain people that you used to be around.

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Speaker 1: And as to mean that you're better than them, it's

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Speaker 1: just you're no longer on the same path, and it

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Speaker 1: could really hurt. Because we are humans. We are attached

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Speaker 1: to things, and I know one of the questions, you know,

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Speaker 1: the steps it self discovery and openness to change. You

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Speaker 1: have to let go of old things to make room

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Speaker 1: for better stuff. So that's why it feels like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I'm losing everything, and you want to hold

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Speaker 1: on the old habits. You want to hold on the

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Speaker 1: old people. But when you become a new person, when

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Speaker 1: you're growing, you realize that you know God has timing

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Speaker 1: and people are lessons, situations are lessens. You need to

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Speaker 1: grow and learn from them and then let them go.

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Speaker 1: If this is a kind of wisdom and self realization

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Speaker 1: that the next generation has in their back pocket, I

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Speaker 1: can't help but have faith in the future of our world.

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Speaker 1: Khalia was speaking facts. This college age period you're in

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Speaker 1: is going to cause a lot of growth, shedding and transformation.

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Speaker 1: It's expected. What will be critical for you at this

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Speaker 1: time is to proclaim who you are, what you want,

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Speaker 1: and what you're not tolerating. Stand in your power and

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Speaker 1: be true to yourself. Arm yourself with those that support

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Speaker 1: and encourage you to be your best self every day.

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Speaker 1: In the case of Jana, it was one of her

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Speaker 1: line sisters that encourage her to take care of herself

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Speaker 1: and explore new paths to mental and physical well being.

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Speaker 1: A couple of ways that I have supported my mental

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Speaker 1: health in school, because that is a thing that is

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Speaker 1: very imperative that you learn at these formative years of

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Speaker 1: taking care of yourself without the guidance of your parents

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Speaker 1: and again self advocating for your needs. My line sister,

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Speaker 1: she invited me to this hot yoga session, and I

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Speaker 1: remember talking with like my friend and I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: just don't know. I don't know if I want to

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Speaker 1: go to hot yoga. I don't think I'll be good

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Speaker 1: at it. And my friend was just like, but when

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Speaker 1: will you ever have a chance to like go to

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Speaker 1: hot yoga? Like just go? The class changed my life.

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Speaker 1: It changed how I felt about myself. It changed how

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Speaker 1: I viewed my day to day like it allowed me

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Speaker 1: to have an hour for myself. In college, it can

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Speaker 1: be fast paced. Every day you wake up, you do this,

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Speaker 1: you go to sleep, wake up, do this, you go

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Speaker 1: to sleep. Before you know what, you spent three weeks,

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Speaker 1: it's mid point of the semester. You've never done anything

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Speaker 1: for yourself. And with me practicing yoga, I was able

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Speaker 1: to be more mindful and intentional about Just as often

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Speaker 1: as I put in this assignment is due in my calendar,

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Speaker 1: I can also put in this is a block of

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Speaker 1: an hour for myself to go to hot yoga, get

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Speaker 1: my sweat, come back, shower, eat dinner, and then go

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Speaker 1: back to the work. The work is never going to leave,

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Speaker 1: but it's how are you able to show up for

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Speaker 1: yourself in the midst of everything that's happening. Because it's

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Speaker 1: never going to be given to you have to do

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Speaker 1: it yourself. And so I'm just grateful for my line

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Speaker 1: sister for planning that seat in me. And I'm always

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Speaker 1: just very shocked that that moment I realize, like, no,

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Speaker 1: I can't keep doing this back and forth and back

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Speaker 1: and forth, Like I'm busy and I feel drained, and

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Speaker 1: i feel tired, I feel bad. What can I do

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Speaker 1: to make myself feel better? So I think finding a hobby,

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Speaker 1: finding something you're passion in, finding that one thing that

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Speaker 1: you can do every day that can make your day

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Speaker 1: a little lighter. Because again, classes will be there, the

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Speaker 1: paper will be there, the mid term will be there,

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Speaker 1: but how will you be there for you? So once

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Speaker 1: I started to think in that way, it was chef's kiss. Additionally,

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Speaker 1: I have a therapist, So therapy very very important in school.

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Speaker 1: Without therapy, there's just a lot of self talk that

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00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 1: can happen in school. There's a lot of negative things

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00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 1: that happened in school, where relationship changes, financial situations, life

392
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,919
Speaker 1: crisis is that you don't know will pop up, like

393
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:09,439
Speaker 1: life is just so unprecedented. During college, it should be

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Speaker 1: its own book. And so having that person that I know. Again,

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Speaker 1: the schedule, I think I just love scheduling and I'm

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00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:20,880
Speaker 1: secure in knowing let me just get through this day.

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Speaker 1: On Wednesday, I'm logging on to my hour session to

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Speaker 1: talk about this paper that I don't want to write,

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00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 1: or just my insecurities being a student Like that is

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00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:35,400
Speaker 1: a real and that's an okay thing to have insecurities

401
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:39,320
Speaker 1: as you move throughout the four years so huge. Advocate

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00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 1: for a therapist if you're looking for a black woman

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Speaker 1: therapist or know a young woman that is. Therapy for

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00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,480
Speaker 1: Black Girls has a vast digital directory that allows you

405
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 1: to search for in office and virtual license mental health professionals.

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00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 1: You can search at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash directory.

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00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:04,520
Speaker 1: As Jana mentioned, this college age period has so many

408
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 1: new situations that may arise. Feelings of pride, connectivity, and

409
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 1: hope are as common as feelings of inadequacy, imposter syndrome,

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00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 1: and grief during this time in your life. Don't invalidate

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00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,600
Speaker 1: your feelings and experiences, no matter how small you may

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00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:23,680
Speaker 1: think they are, they matter. Gina knows from personal experience.

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Speaker 1: Classic Tale of unc is our basketball team. This has

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00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:45,200
Speaker 1: been a conversation that I've heard about before college. When

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00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,600
Speaker 1: I was talking about Carolina, people would be like, oh,

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00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,760
Speaker 1: like Duke, Like, oh, that's the rival, and I just

417
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 1: got that the culture of the school before even seeing

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00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 1: the school or really doing research about the school. So

419
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:01,160
Speaker 1: having the opportunity to get accepted to Carolina and now

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Speaker 1: I'm a first year and I'm hearing all of the

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00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:08,719
Speaker 1: wisdom from class of twenty nineteen and class of twenty

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00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:14,600
Speaker 1: twenty about their experiences rushing Franklin Street and the thrill

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00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,760
Speaker 1: of being a student here and just the memories that

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00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:22,399
Speaker 1: they hold from winning a national championship, and just the excitement,

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00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 1: like it's a literal feeling that all students have when

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00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:30,120
Speaker 1: we are able to be successful as a basketball team.

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00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:33,159
Speaker 1: It's amazing and it's silly, but it's something that we

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00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,480
Speaker 1: do take pride in. And I took pride in that.

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00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,919
Speaker 1: I took pride in being we are the twenty seventeen

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00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 1: University of National champions Like all these things I took

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00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:46,159
Speaker 1: pride in. So for three years, I was under the

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Speaker 1: impression I was going to be able to rush a

433
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,959
Speaker 1: Franklin Street, go to a Duke game, do the chance

434
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:57,440
Speaker 1: see everything on Franklin Street has an unfold. COVID happened

435
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,639
Speaker 1: my freshman year, so that kind of took its own toll.

436
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 1: So I wasn't able to, and then my sophomore year

437
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:07,239
Speaker 1: we ended up beating Duke. But because I was so

438
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 1: disconnected to the university following COVID, I didn't feel the

439
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 1: need to go support like I was just trying to

440
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:20,040
Speaker 1: survive remote work and being at home. And then my

441
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:23,960
Speaker 1: junior year schedule, I was busy. I was focused on

442
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 1: making sure that my grades were okay. I was trying

443
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 1: to maintain my future, putting things in place. In senior year,

444
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:35,119
Speaker 1: I finally get the opportunity I get a Duke ticket

445
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 1: after the university changed the policy in the beginning of

446
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 1: this year saying that if you're a senior, you will

447
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 1: not get a guaranteed ticket. It was an up war

448
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,720
Speaker 1: on campus. All in class of twenty twenty three was

449
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,399
Speaker 1: shocked because you've told us for four years that we

450
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,080
Speaker 1: will have a Duke ticket again. The ingraining and the

451
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:56,159
Speaker 1: instilling of how important this game is, you've done that.

452
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 1: I was able to get a Phase two ticket. That's

453
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 1: a really good ticket. You're in the stadium or the stands.

454
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:06,240
Speaker 1: People spend thousands of dollars on these tickets, and I

455
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,919
Speaker 1: was able just to be there. And we ended up

456
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:15,440
Speaker 1: losing the game, and genuinely that hurt my feelings because

457
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 1: that was something that I expected, That was something that

458
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: I was told that was going to happen, and so

459
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 1: I believed and I trusted in that, and it disappointed

460
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:29,439
Speaker 1: me because that's a tradition that I'll never get to

461
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:32,720
Speaker 1: experience as a student and as a person who is

462
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,439
Speaker 1: first generation. I want to be able to speak on

463
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 1: my collegiate experiences to people. And I went to a

464
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:41,479
Speaker 1: duke game and we won, and I got to have

465
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 1: joy in my school, enjoy in being a student, enjoy

466
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 1: in all the trials and tribulations that I've experienced in college,

467
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 1: like this one moment I didn't get to have. And

468
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 1: while that was a recent experience, I think it did

469
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 1: show me to allow things not to happen, and in

470
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 1: the midst of disappointment, learning how to continue your life

471
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 1: and reframe how you want to move again. Senior years

472
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 1: has been a lot of reframing for me, and so

473
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 1: I had to reframe how I thought about it. After

474
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 1: we lost, I went to sleep super sad. Campus was

475
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 1: super quiet. It was a sad time. People were crying, upset,

476
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: all these emotions that they're able to feel. I decided

477
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 1: just to be grateful that again, I'm graduating this year

478
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 1: and that's something that freshman year me would be ecstatic for.

479
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 1: So that's something that I can be proud of and

480
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 1: that's something that I can look forward to. And I

481
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,120
Speaker 1: did get to go to a due game. So there

482
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 1: are positives to everything that I have done. But it's

483
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 1: how you're able to work through your grief and work

484
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 1: through your disappointment in college that I think is the

485
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 1: bigger picture. Well, Jane worked through her feelings of grief,

486
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,880
Speaker 1: Khalia had to reckon with her feelings of imposter syndrome

487
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 1: and pushing through the feedba of others who can't quite

488
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 1: yet see her dynamic vision for her life. I feel

489
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 1: imposterion syndrome because one, for the longest time, grades have

490
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:13,240
Speaker 1: defined who I am and my value. So especially when

491
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 1: I wasn't getting good grades, at some points, it would

492
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 1: just be like, oh, this is equivalent to who I am,

493
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:23,400
Speaker 1: So trying to separate that academics isn't end all be y'all.

494
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:29,360
Speaker 1: I am considering taking a gap year, so that is

495
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 1: also really hard because everyone's telling you. You know, if

496
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 1: you don't go now, you're never gonna do it, and

497
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 1: it's kind of like the same thing as high school,

498
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 1: Like you see everyone else around you making moves and

499
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 1: you're wondering, like it's what I'm doing right, But you

500
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 1: really have to hone in like this is my path

501
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 1: and no one else's, and comparison is a deef of joy.

502
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:52,080
Speaker 1: So I just tell myself that when I feel like

503
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,920
Speaker 1: imposterion syndrome. And I also do art on the side.

504
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,960
Speaker 1: So even though I do want to be a teacher,

505
00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people in my age,

506
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 1: they don't have one career they want to stay in.

507
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 1: So that's how I'm trying to see my future, like

508
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 1: I could do multiple avenues. I want to eventually connect

509
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 1: education and art. So just realizing I can be whoever

510
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 1: I want. I don't have to fit one label. I'm

511
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 1: sure Jena and Khaliah's families are both so incredibly proud

512
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 1: of them. I know I am. College is such a

513
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:32,160
Speaker 1: WorldWind of life lessons and personal development. It's a time

514
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 1: in your life that can easily define your twenties and

515
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,160
Speaker 1: set you on a path of self discovery you could

516
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 1: have never imagined. Here's some closing words from the graduating

517
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 1: class of twenty twenty three. Experience is what you make

518
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:48,200
Speaker 1: of it, for sure, and I have no regrets for

519
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 1: what I've done. I think I've met a lot of

520
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 1: great people that I've networked. I've grown into myself. I

521
00:31:56,400 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 1: definitely was insecure about I guess being black, being who

522
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 1: I am, and I feel that how we are people

523
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:09,000
Speaker 1: like just came with me open arms. I went natural

524
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 1: my freshman year at college, and all my roommates and stuff,

525
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 1: they helped me with my hair. Shout out to them.

526
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 1: And I've learned some small things about black history. Everyone's

527
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:25,320
Speaker 1: required to take an Afro history class, so I learned

528
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 1: a lot about our people, and that's something that's very

529
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:31,720
Speaker 1: valuable that a whole dear to me. Howard, it just

530
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 1: gives you opportunities that you might not find anywhere else.

531
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:40,080
Speaker 1: And it just shows that black excellence is alive and

532
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,800
Speaker 1: well and that I have faith in the future generations.

533
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 1: I think that we're definitely setting the tone for what's

534
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 1: to come in the future. I honestly think that at

535
00:32:52,320 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 1: this point of senior year, I'm looking towards making intentional

536
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 1: memories and allowing myself to have acceptance towards my past

537
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 1: three years. I have the advice of just making sure

538
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:16,959
Speaker 1: that like now we're transitioning postgrad accepting and getting closer

539
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:19,720
Speaker 1: to the acceptance piece of what the three years has

540
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 1: looked like as we move forward, because again with my

541
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:27,120
Speaker 1: experience COVID, that's something that I will probably still have

542
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 1: to like feel through and like accept that I lost

543
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 1: a year of college, which is still wild to say,

544
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 1: but with accepting that that's happened, with me accepting that

545
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 1: I didn't get to experience all the Carolina traditions and

546
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 1: being a tar heel and all these things. However, there's

547
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 1: so many more memories to be made, like right now

548
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:55,240
Speaker 1: that no one else will get to experience but a senior,

549
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: or but someone that's about to matriculate out of school.

550
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 1: So making sure that there's acceptance but also like optimism

551
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 1: about what's to come, because I'm personally just very excited

552
00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 1: as the weather gets warmer and it's as you know,

553
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 1: we're outside more, just accepting that optimism is an okay thing,

554
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 1: Like you can be optimistic, you can be naive about

555
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 1: what this next step looks like, these are all positive,

556
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:30,600
Speaker 1: okay and natural things. So I just say to all

557
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 1: my graduating seniors, I feel like just relish in the

558
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:40,759
Speaker 1: fact that this page is about to be completed. The

559
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 1: entire book is about to be completed in this one moment,

560
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 1: and that is beautiful within itself. So it's being proud

561
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:55,920
Speaker 1: and moving with intention as you wrap up your collegiate experience.

562
00:34:56,600 --> 00:35:00,360
Speaker 1: Congratulations to the graduating class of twenty twenty three. To

563
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 1: Jana and Kalia, thank you both so much for joining

564
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 1: me on the Therapy for Black Girls podcast and sharing

565
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 1: your experiences with us. We're rooting for you as you

566
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:16,959
Speaker 1: walk across that stage later this year. We can't wrap

567
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:20,120
Speaker 1: this episode up without having a little senior fund, so

568
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 1: we played a little game of this or that with

569
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 1: Kalia and Jana. Check it out. Let's play a little

570
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 1: game of this or that. College Senior Edition Number one,

571
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:37,080
Speaker 1: Study alone or study in groups. Study alone taught me

572
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:41,919
Speaker 1: you need to study alone. Study alone, study alone if

573
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:46,160
Speaker 1: you don't know the content, because your friends will distract you.

574
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 1: But if you have a dcent like concepts of what's

575
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 1: going on, you're studying a group because y'all gonna help

576
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:56,839
Speaker 1: each other and feelanced like spaces. You don't know. My

577
00:35:56,880 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 1: whole college experience was divided conquered, so we work SMA

578
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,640
Speaker 1: or not harder, So I say it's a Mexic book.

579
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:10,640
Speaker 1: Number two handwritten or type notes. Type type it's faster,

580
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:14,240
Speaker 1: faster handwritten notes if you don't want a contract, because

581
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:17,320
Speaker 1: when you write it, it definitely stores in your memory.

582
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 1: But especially because we went virtual, everything was digital because

583
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:25,759
Speaker 1: I was able to like quit search certain things that

584
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:30,440
Speaker 1: I forgot, So I've definitely more to type two notes.

585
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:34,520
Speaker 1: Number three spring break or fall break. I only say

586
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:36,399
Speaker 1: fall break because by the time you get to fall

587
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 1: break and that fall semester, I need the fall break.

588
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 1: Spring break. It's like it's a trip time, like I

589
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:47,240
Speaker 1: didn't really need it, but fall break by that point,

590
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:51,800
Speaker 1: midterms have already hit me, I'm tired, it's now dark,

591
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 1: or like it's just you need a break. So I'm

592
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 1: a huge advocate for a good fall break. I would

593
00:36:57,200 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 1: say fall went to break because spring break it's still

594
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:03,920
Speaker 1: code unless you go somewhere like you travel. I usually

595
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 1: go away from my fall with your break, but I

596
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 1: think it is a relaxing time, so I'm grateful. But

597
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 1: fall break for Christmas is a month, so obviously that's longer.

598
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:21,760
Speaker 1: Number four paper writer or test taker paper Definitely test

599
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 1: taker test taker. I'm not taking an in person paper

600
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 1: tester so long. It's so long, I don't know how

601
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:33,279
Speaker 1: I ever did it. I don't know how number five

602
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:38,719
Speaker 1: football season or basketball season. Football season and tailgating is

603
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 1: a big it's a big thing. So I enjoy single

604
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 1: lumps and just tailgating. Good food, just good. Just go

605
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 1: basketball season one. I think football is boring. I just

606
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 1: see like this gets tackled all the time, and I

607
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 1: can't see no one's face. Everything so far away. Basketball

608
00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 1: you're like up in the mix. And I just like bosketball.

609
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:04,040
Speaker 1: I always like watching basketball better. And then we have,

610
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 1: like our cheerleaders dance, and then we have a dance team,

611
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,279
Speaker 1: so we have two dance teams. So it's a lot.

612
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 1: It's a lot going on at basketball games. And it's

613
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:16,319
Speaker 1: not cold. We'll let the college students battle it out

614
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:19,640
Speaker 1: on Twitter. Based on Khalia and Jina's responses, I want

615
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:22,120
Speaker 1: to thank Khalia and Jina for joining us for this episode.

616
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 1: Of course, we'd love for you to support these women

617
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 1: and stay connected to them. And here's how you can

618
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:30,360
Speaker 1: stay connected to me on my Instagram at Jena j

619
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:33,840
Speaker 1: A y n A dot ls E L L I

620
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 1: S you can find me. My personal Instagram is Khalia

621
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:41,920
Speaker 1: dot j k A l i h A dot j so.

622
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 1: Also find me on my art page Khalia Creations, its

623
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:49,800
Speaker 1: Ka l i h a dot Creations and the creations

624
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,719
Speaker 1: Felts with the k SO. To learn more about the

625
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:55,920
Speaker 1: work we're doing with TBG University, please make sure to

626
00:38:56,000 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 1: follow us on both Instagram and TikTok at TBG University