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Speaker 1: I bought the family's dream beach house, but I used

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Speaker 1: my daughter's eighty five thousand dollars inheritance to do it.

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Speaker 2: She's mad for some reason. Am I've a hole? Hey?

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Speaker 3: Hey, baby girl, Baby girl, Yeah, I'm giving you a

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Speaker 3: present by taking your money. Why it's like it's like, okay, hey,

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Speaker 3: you know those earrings you wanted, Yeah, I got them

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Speaker 3: for you.

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Speaker 2: Wow. But I just took the money out of your purse.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's that's so cool, right, thoughtful. Hey, Hey, you

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Speaker 2: know I try to do my best.

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Speaker 1: Hey, Sam, so I uh stole your bank account information.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, and then I bought a brand new car

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Speaker 1: for you.

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Speaker 2: Oh thanks.

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Speaker 1: So so fawful to ride in sometimes while I'm driving

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Speaker 1: to a place with us together, But most of the time, it's.

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Speaker 3: Gonna be Yeah, it's for both of us. It's for

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Speaker 3: both of us, Like, don't be selfish.

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Speaker 1: Exactly, Like sometimes when we hang out, like you'll be

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Speaker 1: in the passenger seat and it's gonna feel so good

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Speaker 1: because I spent so much money on it, of your.

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Speaker 3: Money, of your money, if your money. Yeah, but you're

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Speaker 3: gonna love it, I promise. Thanks, John, You're so welcome.

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Speaker 3: Female lost my husband four years ago. I also have

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Speaker 3: a sixteen year old daughter. My late husband left me

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Speaker 3: everything and told me to trust his lawyer. My husband

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Speaker 3: had worked for twenty years as a doctor and did

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Speaker 3: some minor investing, so I inherited over seven figures.

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Speaker 2: Damn hope he's a millionaire. Good gravy shosh.

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Speaker 1: A year later, I decided to list our home of

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Speaker 1: twelve years, and I received an offer too good to refuse.

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Speaker 1: With the inheritance as well as the influx of cash

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Speaker 1: from selling the house, I decided to move my daughter

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Speaker 1: and I to Malibu because we always dreamed of a

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Speaker 1: home next to the beach.

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Speaker 2: Ohyo.

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Speaker 1: But my husband was exceptionally tight fisted and called homes

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Speaker 1: their money pits.

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Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, Malibu. Malibu is one of the most

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Speaker 3: expensive areas right ever, and depending on how close you

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Speaker 3: are to the beach, the maintenance on one of those

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Speaker 3: homes is insane because you have all of that, the seawater,

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Speaker 3: seawater shed and like at a road. It's like like

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Speaker 3: maintaining a house near the beach is insanely expensive.

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Speaker 2: Got it? I was. I was wondering.

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Speaker 3: Global warming, bro, Like, you're to have beachfront property, your

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Speaker 3: your Your freaking bedroom is gonna be beachfront property.

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Speaker 1: No need, no need to learn how to surf, because

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Speaker 1: you'll be just freaking sliding down that mountain all in

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Speaker 1: your own.

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Speaker 2: But I appreciation, would it work out? Maybe maybe?

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Speaker 3: I mean it's just it's more I think it's more

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Speaker 3: the main like headaches than headaches maintaining.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's definitely not the wisest investment in terms of

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Speaker 3: like appreciation. Right, If you really want a wise investment,

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Speaker 3: I imagine like buying property in Texas is probably the

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Speaker 3: best move.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes sense. We found a beautiful home by

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Speaker 1: the sea. I never personally handled anything regarding buying a

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Speaker 1: home before, so I did not anticipate all the extra

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Speaker 1: costs beyond the sticker price. Oh boy, it sounds like, uh,

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Speaker 1: she's She's just kind of like, oh, well, here's this

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Speaker 1: money here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know that anticipate.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know there was a fee for the I

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Speaker 3: don't know there was a fee for the real estate agent.

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Speaker 2: Oh, taxes the government. Excuse me.

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Speaker 1: I already paid my tax for the year from my

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Speaker 1: salary of my inheritance. But my daughter was so excited,

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Speaker 1: so I decided to go for it. My late husband's

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Speaker 1: lawyer was furious at my decision, so I decided to

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Speaker 1: stop taking his calls. My god, wow, well there you go.

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Speaker 1: I ended up signing with the money manager, who said

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Speaker 1: that we'd be passively earning ninety percent of what surgeons

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Speaker 1: earned per year. I mean that sounds pretty good. Sounds

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Speaker 1: that sounds pretty good.

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Speaker 2: Also, I feel like that's what I would tell a

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Speaker 2: potential client.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, please let me manage your moneery. Please have me

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Speaker 3: manager money. I will make sure you make as much

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Speaker 3: money as a surgeon. You'll be making so much'll yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: just just sign.

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Speaker 2: On the dotted line. Please give me everything you own.

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Speaker 1: But the money manager ended up tanking a lot of

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Speaker 1: our investments.

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Speaker 2: Oh pee, who would have thought? Who? What a thunk it?

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Speaker 1: I took the dwindling money out and made my own investments.

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Speaker 3: This could only go well, regular warm buffet over here,

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Speaker 3: which made it worse and long story short.

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Speaker 1: Because of all of that, I now only have around

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Speaker 1: thirty five thousand dollars available to me. Now, oh idiot,

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Speaker 1: not to mention our debts, so that is not she's

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Speaker 1: probably she went from seven figures to underwater.

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Speaker 3: Oh what were you spending it on? Bro, do they

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Speaker 3: at least have the house for now that here we go.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So with the amount available to me, I am

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Speaker 1: looking at only being able to pay one month.

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Speaker 2: Of a mortgage slash upkeep and then you're fucked.

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Speaker 1: And then I'm basically out of luck until my business

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Speaker 1: gets clients.

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Speaker 2: Oh dude, you're say screwed until my business gets clients.

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Speaker 3: Oh pe, oh pee? How could you fumble the ball

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Speaker 3: that bad?

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Speaker 2: You were literally you had for life? Oh wow.

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Speaker 1: However, the place where we do have a significant amount

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Speaker 1: of money is the fund my husband started for our daughter.

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Speaker 3: Please do not fuck up another thing.

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Speaker 2: Oh no.

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Speaker 1: With the money there, I could prevent our credit cards

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Speaker 1: from being shut down and not have to worry about

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Speaker 1: the mortgage for many more months. No so, no, no, no, no.

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Speaker 2: This is painful to read.

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Speaker 1: I ended up liquidating my daughter's college fund.

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Speaker 2: No.

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Speaker 1: I told her about it today, and she was fear

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Speaker 1: curious and said she cannot believe all her dad's work

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Speaker 1: is gone. She also said she won't be supporting me

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Speaker 1: for retirement.

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Speaker 2: Oh am, I.

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Speaker 1: The a hole for trying to fix my mistakes and

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Speaker 1: trying to keep our house.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you're the a hole. It's her money. Oh it's

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Speaker 2: her money.

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Speaker 3: Oh my, I feel so bad for the daughter and like, oh,

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Speaker 3: p just got royal, like screwed herself.

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Speaker 1: You had like, when you come into money like that,

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Speaker 1: it is on you to be responsible, responsible and really

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Speaker 1: think about what you're going to do with this money.

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Speaker 2: She literally just went.

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Speaker 3: Out bought a big I mean big malible alone.

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Speaker 1: I mean we're talking seven figures, so that's in the

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Speaker 1: less than ten million, right, A malible house alone could

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Speaker 1: be that.

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Speaker 2: I mean easily.

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Speaker 3: It mean depends how big you get, but like most

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Speaker 3: of those if it's on the beach, like could be

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Speaker 3: five million easy.

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Speaker 1: Right, Like I feel like minimum three million. And then

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Speaker 1: it like she's talking about credit cards. She's saying she moved.

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Speaker 1: The financial advice.

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Speaker 3: Seems like like a lavish lifestyle that she was trying

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Speaker 3: to live.

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Speaker 1: I also love how she like probably the financial advisor

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Speaker 1: was like, you need to stop spending like this because

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Speaker 1: you're gonna.

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Speaker 2: Burn and the lawyer.

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Speaker 3: The lawyer was like like like was like, dude, what

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Speaker 3: are you doing? And she's like click, like I don't

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Speaker 3: want to listen to that. What kill my vibe? Killing

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Speaker 3: my vibe?

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Speaker 1: So I guess the question is if you inherited seven figures?

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Speaker 1: Burnt it all? Would you liquidate your own daughter's college fund?

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Speaker 1: And also a few more months? And like, if you

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Speaker 1: inherited seven figures, what would you do with the money? Like,

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Speaker 1: how would you actually spend it?

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Speaker 3: Better than op I'd love to hear and we love

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Speaker 3: hearing from you in general, especially our public subscribers. And

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Speaker 3: Sammy Dewey said on The Coworkers as I bone his

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Speaker 3: wife episode, Love the episode. I hope you will keep

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Speaker 3: growing because you guys are so much fun. Thank you

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Speaker 3: for making my day better. We love making your day better.

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Speaker 3: Thank you for the.

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Speaker 2: Comments you made our day better.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just like that that like keep like that make

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Speaker 3: us want to keep going and making this show better

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Speaker 3: and better for you guys, And if you want us

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Speaker 3: to read your comment, make sure to public subscribe and

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Speaker 3: leave a comment below.

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Speaker 2: Love you see you soon today.

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Speaker 3: I fed up by leaving class for some gloop glup

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Speaker 3: nine thousand and getting soaked in fluids. The way you

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Speaker 3: did the phenomenal I am. I'm impressed, honestly, the way

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Speaker 3: you throw that neck, bro, you know, cut me feeling

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Speaker 3: It's good.

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Speaker 2: Great.

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Speaker 3: I used to make that, make that noise all the

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Speaker 3: time when I was a kid, and it would it

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Speaker 3: would annoy my clisters.

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Speaker 2: Like good good.

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Speaker 3: It was like it's like, you know, you have weird

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Speaker 3: something that you annoy. You'r sibling with that, you know,

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Speaker 3: you know how.

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Speaker 2: Yeah I was an annoying kid. Oh yeah, oh yeah, okay, op. Background.

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Speaker 2: I met my girlfriend in college.

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Speaker 1: We had a class together and sat next to each

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Speaker 1: other after texting about the homework.

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Speaker 3: Every classic when the homework the win each other bat

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Speaker 3: a bang, bought a boom. You're in a zoom room,

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Speaker 3: you're in your doorm room, and then you're making the

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Speaker 3: boom boom two bars.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, And we realized we really liked each other. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you did.

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Speaker 3: One thing led to another, and by the middle of

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Speaker 3: the semester we were dating. Yeah, let's go a raditor

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Speaker 3: getting laid.

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Speaker 2: You never see it, never see it.

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Speaker 1: We were pretty inseparable, but one day we were at

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Speaker 1: school spending the day together as usual. Classic classic More background.

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Speaker 1: She didn't have a car, so we'd meet at school

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Speaker 1: since she took the bus.

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Speaker 3: Okay, makes sense, logistically, I get it.

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Speaker 1: I commuted thirty minutes to school in my car, and

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Speaker 1: that day we did homework together and ate at Mo's

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Speaker 1: the Burrito Place as usual homework together?

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Speaker 3: What was it? An in person oral presentation? I got

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Speaker 3: a problem you could solve? Oh my ass? The answer

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Speaker 3: is you. I'm like, what can I say here? I

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Speaker 3: got a probably you can solve my ass. The answer

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Speaker 3: is d.

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Speaker 2: There we go. He brought it back, Like, is it't

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Speaker 2: just saying.

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Speaker 3: A multiple choice quiz?

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Speaker 2: This is my jig. This is one option. You brought

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Speaker 2: it back. Thank you for ah d o here.

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Speaker 1: That's right now before I continue. This girl has a

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Speaker 1: drive to get it on unlike anything I've ever seen before.

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Speaker 3: Wow, that libido going through the reef bowl.

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Speaker 2: Yes, now I have a pretty high libido. Actually, oh

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Speaker 2: really high libido to be honest, how high? How high

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Speaker 2: is it? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: But if I was like an eight out of ten,

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Speaker 3: she was at least an eleven. That's uh, that's more

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Speaker 3: than ten.

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Speaker 2: That is we're breaking the charts over Like how much

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Speaker 2: is that is that?

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Speaker 3: Like? Is that like one time a day, two times

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Speaker 3: a day, three times.

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Speaker 2: A Day's question? Maybe every time she's just like get it,

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Speaker 2: give it. Maybe she's not satisfied, mate, But would you

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Speaker 2: keep coming back if you're unsatisfied? Would you be would

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Speaker 2: you be just clawing them down?

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Speaker 3: I don't know, like McDonald is okay, but yeah, people

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Speaker 3: eat there a lot. This is Maybe it's just cheap

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Speaker 3: and accessible.

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Speaker 2: That could be it. That could be it.

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Speaker 3: Maybe I'm not saying your dick is McDonald's, but I'm

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Speaker 3: saying your dick is McDonald's.

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Speaker 2: That's right. Yeah. Yeah, soft fries, real o, real limb, buddy,

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Speaker 2: real limb. You know you went for a soggy fry.

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Speaker 1: You went from animal oil to vegetable oil. Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: now we get it. Yeah, roasted. But you know, I'm

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Speaker 1: a typical guy here, so I'm not complaining.

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Speaker 2: Don't complain. I'll take some pootin anywhere I can get it.

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Speaker 2: Until one day, we're in class, we'd only been dating

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Speaker 2: for a few months, maybe less, okay, and she sends

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Speaker 2: me a text saying she wants to slob on my

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Speaker 2: freaking knob. Oh wow, oh yeah wow.

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Speaker 3: She's she's setting those those dects, And that ain't about

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Speaker 3: the homework anymore.

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Speaker 2: We passed those grading rubrics. We're we're being graded on

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Speaker 2: a whole nother curve.

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Speaker 3: Now she's polishing the royal sceptic.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 1: So I responded like right now, and she was like, yes,

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Speaker 1: right now, give it to me. I was not in

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Speaker 1: the mood, but that can change pretty quickly, so I

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Speaker 1: go with it. Zero complains here because the lecture is

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Speaker 1: boring as usual and it's a really big class, so

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Speaker 1: no one would pay any mind if.

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Speaker 2: We both left. Do you know what else is big? Op?

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Speaker 2: The opportunity to leave this relationship? Not your because we've

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Speaker 2: already established this puny.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, McDonald sug French fries, that's all right.

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Speaker 1: I was trying to think, like, what's what's another like

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Speaker 1: McDonald's euphemism we could use and for god knows what reason,

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Speaker 1: you know, we're not trained comedians over here. For some reason,

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Speaker 1: I thought like, like yogurt balls.

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Speaker 3: Yogurt suck on those little chicken nugs, just chicken, see

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Speaker 3: chicken nuggets.

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Speaker 2: That's better. When I thought of the scrow tom, I

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Speaker 2: thought I went straight to parface.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, really yogurt and screwed them. I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I don't see them. How can I insult his genitals more?

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Speaker 3: And that's that's what my brain. I feel like the

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Speaker 3: yogurt would be what would come out of the salgi balls?

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Speaker 1: See these are things that make so much more sense. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're work shopping. We're work shopping finding it where you know,

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Speaker 1: we're finding our way around it.

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Speaker 3: That's right, Just like say he's gonna find her way

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Speaker 3: around that.

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Speaker 2: Soggy sucking that salt right off of it, Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: right out of it. Now.

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Speaker 1: Thirteen year old me would be cheering and jumping up

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Speaker 1: and down at the celebration.

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Speaker 3: So I see no wrong. At first, I thought he

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Speaker 3: was saying he was thirteen, and I was like, damn,

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Speaker 3: hold on, but smart in college getting laid. Luckily, that

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Speaker 3: is the past.

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Speaker 2: Okay. So we leave.

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Speaker 3: It's about a fifteen minute walk to the parking lot,

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Speaker 3: just enough time for him to get warmed up.

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Speaker 2: We held hands the whole walk, and we didn't say

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Speaker 2: a word. We held hand the walk. Yeah, those those

295
00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:18,240
Speaker 2: poems are.

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Speaker 3: Real sweating You sure ain't that? She was sure she's

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Speaker 3: not holding hands on the walk, so she can give

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Speaker 3: your hands on that cap ack.

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Speaker 2: Maybe if we.

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Speaker 3: Maybe, if we cut the sound in half, then that'll

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Speaker 3: confuse the algorithms and they won't fag us.

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Speaker 2: And we're talking about roosters. Cow awk.

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Speaker 3: Awkward yeah, yeah, cockword cockword. We're just inventing new words

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00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:47,720
Speaker 3: from yeah, yeah, the tiktuk double speak exactly.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 1: I knew what was about to go down, and when

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Speaker 1: no one was in our vicinity, she'd give me a

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Speaker 1: little touch, little gleg. She was always about her business

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Speaker 1: and she knew what she was doing. Oh and it

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Speaker 1: was at this point I was completely turned on.

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Speaker 3: There we go, hey, hey, switched around that Libidos backing gear.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Now we went to the parking garage, which was decently packed,

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Speaker 1: by the way, and sit in the back seat.

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Speaker 2: I love the parking garage is where we're at.

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Speaker 1: I know, it's like I thought we were going to

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Speaker 1: the bathroom or something, which I mean.

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Speaker 3: Of the two places, the parking garage, I feel like

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Speaker 3: it's maybe a little more romantic.

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Speaker 2: It's I was not expecting you to say, more romantic.

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Speaker 3: We're taking someone for a little romance.

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Speaker 1: I think it's kind of like with the bathroom. It's like,

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Speaker 1: I guess more, I don't know. Yeah, that's that's the

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Speaker 1: car is like it could be great because if there's

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Speaker 1: no one.

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Speaker 3: Around, yea, but if everyone well, depending on your kink,

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Speaker 3: you know, more people are around.

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Speaker 2: Hey, the more the merrier.

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Speaker 3: Some people, Yeah, yeah, some people are like, oh damn,

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Speaker 3: there's people right outside.

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Speaker 1: Now we're on the fourth or fifth floor. She proceeds

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Speaker 1: to go down on me very enthusiastically. Wow, lots of

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Speaker 1: an enthusiastic look, lots.

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Speaker 2: Of spitting and gagging, et cetera. We're going, We're going

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Speaker 2: in death.

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Speaker 1: Whoever is editing this, I am so sorry. It's winterish,

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Speaker 1: so we're both wearing a few layers. It's got to

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Speaker 1: be a challenge something we don't have here in La.

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00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,440
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, we're ready to go instantly.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's one of those. It's one of those

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Speaker 1: gophers through the boxer hole, slob on the knob jobs

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Speaker 1: if you catch.

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Speaker 2: Them on drift.

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Speaker 3: Wow, that's like, you know, I don't even think about

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00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,320
Speaker 3: that as a as in a warm climate, but as

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Speaker 3: warmers we don't. We don't think about it, but maybe

347
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Speaker 3: like like that is just so freezing. It's so freezing

348
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:44,040
Speaker 3: that like you gotta you gotta make sure everything's covered

349
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Speaker 3: except your remember and then that gets covered.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, man, the things, the things you don't have to

352
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Speaker 3: think about in warm places.

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Speaker 2: Wow, we're learning so much, so much now.

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Speaker 1: Everything is going well until she gags and immediately stops

355
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Speaker 1: I ask her what's wrong, and she starts Hispanic.

356
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Speaker 2: She says hispanic. She starts hispanic. No, your soy, your soy, problemo.

357
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:15,480
Speaker 2: I am a problem much. Yes I can I can do.

358
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Speaker 2: I can do.

359
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:25,200
Speaker 3: Weeks in Spanish carro uh mucho problema called me book?

360
00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:31,760
Speaker 2: Uh e? That was that was pretty decent. Yeah, I was.

361
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:38,320
Speaker 2: I spent a month. Agoo, you know credito? Do you

362
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,399
Speaker 2: accept credit cards? There we go, My god, that's what

363
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,399
Speaker 2: I would say, because that's what I know.

364
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,119
Speaker 3: She's looking up and she's like, do you take credit

365
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Speaker 3: card to your own girlfriend?

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Speaker 2: Oh goodness.

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Speaker 1: So she's panicking and not hispanicking, not his panicking. No,

368
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,639
Speaker 1: she starts to panic, and she says, I think I

369
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:03,240
Speaker 1: spent too much. And I'm very reassuring and say, no,

370
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:04,200
Speaker 1: don't worry.

371
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:04,960
Speaker 2: I like it a lot.

372
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,320
Speaker 1: Then she says, no, you don't understand. I think I

373
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:12,359
Speaker 1: spit too much. I'm a bit confused at first, and

374
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:16,480
Speaker 1: then the smell hits. Oh no, I hate throw up.

375
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,240
Speaker 1: I hate it more than anything in the entire world.

376
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:22,359
Speaker 1: To me, it is the worst smell in existence. And

377
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,760
Speaker 1: now he has it all over his body.

378
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Speaker 2: I am mortified.

379
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:29,120
Speaker 1: And we just had Joe, and we just had burritos

380
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:31,840
Speaker 1: from Moe's, which, oh no, have you been to Mo's?

381
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:32,400
Speaker 2: No?

382
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,879
Speaker 1: It is literally Chipotle on steroids, Like literally they have

383
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:39,119
Speaker 1: the fattest burritos, like as fat as.

384
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Speaker 2: Your Oh yeah, oh yeah, dude, Chipotle is already huge.

385
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Speaker 1: Dude, these are these are like you cannot finish huge

386
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Speaker 1: a much like ok, okay, not just burritos, tiny chips, man,

387
00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:00,360
Speaker 1: the chips. I immediately opened the door and get it out.

388
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:04,040
Speaker 1: The next minute happened so fast. I'm outside of my car.

389
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,600
Speaker 2: Shlang shlang, flop and to and.

390
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:11,720
Speaker 1: Fro, and I start you can myself, No, if any

391
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,520
Speaker 1: civilian walked up to me right now, they would have

392
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:18,240
Speaker 1: called nine to one one. What an insanely awful site.

393
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,040
Speaker 1: Could you imagine you locked.

394
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:23,040
Speaker 2: Up on the scenario, someone's just flopping around, just like,

395
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Speaker 2: oh my god, feels so bad for Op.

396
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,800
Speaker 1: I get my crap together and survey the damage done

397
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:35,439
Speaker 1: in the back seat, She is profusely apologizing on the

398
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,040
Speaker 1: verge of tears. I get a rag and a spare

399
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:39,680
Speaker 1: shirt from my trunk and start cleaning.

400
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,560
Speaker 2: Man, good thing he had that handy.

401
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:45,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, Jesus, it was admittedly quick and an effective cleanup.

402
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:49,840
Speaker 1: Most of it was on my nether regions and which

403
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,600
Speaker 1: I wiped off. In the panic, I littered the shirt

404
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 1: and rag bad guy moment. Sorry, it was a life

405
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,399
Speaker 1: or death I hate that stuff. Now I get in

406
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,520
Speaker 1: my car and I start driving home. I live with

407
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,680
Speaker 1: a few rooms, I live with a few roommates, and

408
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,000
Speaker 1: I know that no one is home. Now that all

409
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:08,400
Speaker 1: that mess is over with, I reassure her that it's okay.

410
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,960
Speaker 2: It was an accident. Boyfriend, good boyfriend, good, good boyfriend.

411
00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:15,000
Speaker 1: And then I'm not one bit mad who gets mad

412
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:18,640
Speaker 1: over accidents. However, she was on a loop saying sorry,

413
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:22,160
Speaker 1: being super jittery, so I thought, okay, that's fine. Life

414
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,480
Speaker 1: is pretty good for the next few hours.

415
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:28,359
Speaker 2: Oh no. We got home. We shower one at a time.

416
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,479
Speaker 1: We're new to dating and thought that doing it together

417
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,960
Speaker 1: might not be the best thing just yet. Then we're

418
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:38,120
Speaker 1: cuddling in my bed, fresh and clean as a daisy,

419
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:43,600
Speaker 1: and the panic has subsided. Long story short, we get

420
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,320
Speaker 1: freaking freaking in.

421
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:50,200
Speaker 3: The sheets again. Damn she she can't be stopped, can't

422
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:55,360
Speaker 3: be stopped. And I greet her with the largest, largest,

423
00:20:55,480 --> 00:21:01,120
Speaker 3: large load, largest, just load. Yeah, we're getting really yeah,

424
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,720
Speaker 3: and I greet her with the largest load of fresh

425
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 3: milk I've ever produced.

426
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,440
Speaker 2: To this day. Milk that cow, baby.

427
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:15,680
Speaker 3: That's right, coming straight from the farm, double A grade pasteurized,

428
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 3: grade A pasteurized, also homogenized organic, that's full fat, cage free.

429
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:28,560
Speaker 2: Oh then they don't have they don't make cage free milk.

430
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:29,439
Speaker 2: I don't know what's up with that.

431
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, all these cows and cages, all these.

432
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,480
Speaker 2: Cows are just locked in there, good gravy.

433
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:35,680
Speaker 1: We're not talking about actual cows, by the way, we're

434
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 1: we're still in the uphe mesm, so you can we'll

435
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:41,120
Speaker 1: leave that up to interpretation. Yes, now I think starting

436
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 1: and then stopping getting frisky has.

437
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,840
Speaker 2: Something to do with that large load. But who knows.

438
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,160
Speaker 1: Life is good and it's getting late, so it's time

439
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 1: to drop her home. We go outside. It is freezing

440
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,199
Speaker 1: and we have about a thirty minute ride home. She

441
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,720
Speaker 1: lives with her parents, who are super strict. They don't

442
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 1: even know that she has a boyfriend. Oh cultural thing.

443
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:00,399
Speaker 1: When I go to open my car door or I

444
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 1: realized it's locked. Not only locked, I see the keys

445
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:06,760
Speaker 1: in the passenger seats.

446
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 3: Oh no, he is about to be stranded. No, we

447
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:17,720
Speaker 3: are stranded. She is already a few fake stories deep

448
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,640
Speaker 3: with her parents, and now it's gonna get bad if

449
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,800
Speaker 3: I don't get her home soon. Triple A takes forever.

450
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,760
Speaker 3: I end up having to buy her a forty five

451
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:27,760
Speaker 3: dollars uber home.

452
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,919
Speaker 2: I just break the window. How much is a broken window?

453
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:37,480
Speaker 3: It's like one hundred plus, which honestly may not. It's

454
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:38,959
Speaker 3: that's a decent idea.

455
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:42,560
Speaker 1: Actually that's like a it's so dumb it might work

456
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,919
Speaker 1: might now to a broke college student. That was like

457
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:50,000
Speaker 1: forty mcchickens at the time, so it was a huge loss.

458
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 3: I love how he measures in mcchickens. That's like the

459
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:57,160
Speaker 3: true college way to measure income. Like how many rab

460
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,720
Speaker 3: and noodles? How many mcchickens?

461
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 2: How many Budweiser can? Ye?

462
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 1: Are we talking here, let's get to brass tacks. So

463
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 1: it was definitely an eventful day. I have some fond

464
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:10,640
Speaker 1: memories of it. Though, Well, it sounds like everything worked out.

465
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:14,639
Speaker 1: This this is super super insane, but it seemed it

466
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:15,120
Speaker 1: worked out.

467
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 3: But yeah, there is an update. Oh boy, hopefully our

468
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 3: parents would find out. Wow the update. We are no

469
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,560
Speaker 3: longer in a relationship. What I thought it was going well.

470
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 1: I felt like after all that happened and they kind

471
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:37,560
Speaker 1: of had an appy end moment. You would think you

472
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,000
Speaker 1: would think that they would say together, I don't know,

473
00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 1: that's sad.

474
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,160
Speaker 2: That had been going I broke up.

475
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 1: With her a while back. As a relationship developed, so

476
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:51,160
Speaker 1: did its flaws. She was awesome though, and our honeymoon

477
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:54,880
Speaker 1: phase was awesome too. For everyone saying today I fed

478
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,160
Speaker 1: up by getting it on, you're wrong.

479
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:00,119
Speaker 2: Well, didn't end all happily ever after, but kind of.

480
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,440
Speaker 2: There was a few happy ends.

481
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 3: There was a few happy endings before.

482
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's all you can ask for.