1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:05,440 Speaker 1: Well, well, well, happy Friday, Chip. How you doing great? 2 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:09,080 Speaker 1: How are you? You're like smoldering at me right now. 3 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: Actually I am feeling very refreshed. Thank you for asking. 4 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:16,360 Speaker 1: Yesterday I was a train marek. Why were you a 5 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 1: train record? Um? I just was coming back from Vegas 6 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 1: and like, I completely It's similar to how I was 7 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,599 Speaker 1: last week actually recording on the podcast. It was the 8 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,800 Speaker 1: build up of all that work. Then I went on 9 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:31,240 Speaker 1: this work trip and I realized this is the first intense, 10 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:35,080 Speaker 1: long work trip I've done since before COVID. Like, yes, 11 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,440 Speaker 1: I used to do this all the time, but this 12 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:38,840 Speaker 1: was the first one back to the way it used 13 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:41,000 Speaker 1: to be, and it just took it out of me. 14 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:43,519 Speaker 1: I mean, we're not getting any younger, you know what 15 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,279 Speaker 1: I mean. Vegas is a special thing too. It's like 16 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:50,320 Speaker 1: I always come back from Vegas exhausted. I was very 17 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 1: thrilled to sit my house on the couch watch not 18 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:56,960 Speaker 1: be there. I mean, it's like I would be lying 19 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 1: if I didn't say there was a little bit of 20 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 1: fomo really, but that fades really quickly, like the show's 21 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 1: over and I'm like, wait, I'm home night right exactly. 22 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 1: I mean, the funny thing for me was this is 23 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,120 Speaker 1: the first trip to Vegas that I've ever been on 24 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,679 Speaker 1: where I didn't drink so and I still came back exhausted. 25 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:15,120 Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, what if I had 26 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 1: been Really it's a really dry area, territory environment. What 27 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 1: do you call that? All of this actually a dry climate, 28 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 1: And I think there's something about that. I always feel 29 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:32,520 Speaker 1: like my skin gets really dry, my nose dries out. 30 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,000 Speaker 1: I had a bloody nose, and I'm like, I sort 31 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:38,000 Speaker 1: of God, I'm not doing cocaine. This is just but 32 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:41,119 Speaker 1: it was interesting because even without the alcohol, I still 33 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,400 Speaker 1: came back really tired of one. It's like you're working 34 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:46,280 Speaker 1: every day and like, even though it's super fun and 35 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful for it, it was that thing of 36 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 1: being around people constantly and I'm just not used to it, 37 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,040 Speaker 1: like we were saying. And so when I came back yesterday, 38 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:59,040 Speaker 1: I crashed really hard, and it just just like so 39 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: interesting when you actually stop after a big rush like that, 40 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 1: You're like, especially if you're going through stuff like I am. 41 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:09,120 Speaker 1: I mean, I just got so sad and I was like, 42 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,839 Speaker 1: oh God, life is over. And then today I'm fun. 43 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 1: It's just you sort of bounced back. I just needed 44 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,400 Speaker 1: a good night. I mean, isn't that just kind of 45 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,240 Speaker 1: how life works? Maybe, Yeah, when we're having a bad day, 46 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:21,959 Speaker 1: just know this too shall pass as well, right, I'll 47 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,000 Speaker 1: focus on what's causing the bad day, focus on getting 48 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,200 Speaker 1: through it well. And that was sort of like I 49 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:31,639 Speaker 1: came back. I was so tired that I couldn't sleep. 50 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,920 Speaker 1: It was that weird, like I was so used to 51 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:37,679 Speaker 1: making myself stay awake and be amped up in Vegas 52 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:41,320 Speaker 1: and like, you gotta still do this one thing or whatever. 53 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,960 Speaker 1: It was that I got home and I've been watching 54 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: that show Inventing Anna. It's so good, but I like, yes, hashtag, 55 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 1: we're not being sponsored, I wish, but yeah, I like 56 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 1: watched multiple episodes when I wasn't meaning. It was just 57 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 1: one of those like I just needed to chill the time, 58 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:00,880 Speaker 1: I guess. But then I had an appointment with Marv Mashology. Yesterday. 59 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,280 Speaker 1: I had a session with Trey Miller. He's also been 60 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 1: on the podcast. Um he's like my somatic therapist who 61 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 1: does body work and massage and energy work. And they 62 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 1: boast said the same thing to me because I was 63 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,280 Speaker 1: like spiraling big time and they're like, I feel like 64 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 1: you're just tired. Like it's like when I used to 65 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,760 Speaker 1: come back from summer parties and my parents would be like, 66 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:20,560 Speaker 1: did you sleep at all? Like maybe I should go 67 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,920 Speaker 1: to bed because you're like a train wreck. Um, and 68 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,840 Speaker 1: they were right, Like I just needed to pour some 69 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:30,560 Speaker 1: into myself, some love. Speaking of love, Well, this is 70 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,919 Speaker 1: the Love Podcast this month. It's love and relationships, sex 71 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 1: stating whatever you want to call it. Um, Chip and 72 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 1: I are here to discuss these topics. We're not experts. 73 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,560 Speaker 1: We say this every time. I told you, I'm starting 74 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 1: to feel really uncomfortable with it. Actually, like there's something 75 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,520 Speaker 1: I'm bumping up against where I'm like, I should not 76 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:51,560 Speaker 1: be like trying to give people advice about this topic. Well, 77 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,240 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm I don't know that I'm giving advice. 78 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:58,000 Speaker 1: I'm giving my opinions. That is opinion. It's opinion based. 79 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:01,520 Speaker 1: And Um, that is I got back to is that 80 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 1: we're not the experts. We always say that we I 81 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,200 Speaker 1: do feel like we've got some life experience under our belts. 82 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 1: We both had significant relationship histories. I also like I 83 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 1: have done a lot of work around relationships. It's been 84 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 1: the thing that's I've bumped up against in my life 85 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:18,640 Speaker 1: a lots. I feel like I have a lot of 86 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 1: head knowledge. Maybe, um, but we do have some new 87 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,719 Speaker 1: things we're gonna be bringing into play next month that 88 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,359 Speaker 1: I'm super excited about. We'll talk about that closer to 89 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 1: the date, but this week we are here to talk 90 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 1: about sex, dating, love and relationships in the topic of reflection, 91 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:36,880 Speaker 1: because that's our topic for the month. Um. When we 92 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,479 Speaker 1: brought this up earlier, I said to you, do you 93 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: have anything you want to reflect upon? And I actually 94 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 1: loved what you said, do you want to share with 95 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 1: the listeners? Well, you know, I am fully aware that 96 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 1: I've probably disappointed some people when it comes to um, 97 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:53,600 Speaker 1: I mean myself included, because there was like there, what's there? 98 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:55,800 Speaker 1: Was that? Where was that? One? And it was pretty slutty? 99 00:04:56,320 --> 00:05:00,800 Speaker 1: But um it okay, okay, um. You know there is 100 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 1: a part of me that wishes at some point in 101 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,040 Speaker 1: my life that like I had a slutty phase, Like 102 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,400 Speaker 1: I feel like there is a time and a place 103 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: for that, and people should do it if that's what 104 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 1: they want to do, Like you shouldn't do it, because 105 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,120 Speaker 1: I don't think you shouldn't do it if you feel 106 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,720 Speaker 1: like it's just something that people do. You should do 107 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 1: it if you want to do it, Like it's a 108 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 1: good way to figure out what you like, what you're 109 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:23,359 Speaker 1: looking for, all those things, and um, you know, for 110 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 1: the purposes of this podcast, Like it was fun to 111 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,680 Speaker 1: talk about, but I like the more it went on, 112 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 1: like I've just realized, like that's not what That's not 113 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 1: where I'm at. Like I don't want to like do 114 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:36,200 Speaker 1: I want to have more sex. Absolutely, you know, I'm 115 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 1: have a heartbeat, okay, Um, but I don't know that 116 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,600 Speaker 1: I want to have it with a lot of people. 117 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:47,240 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, it depends on who's asking. But 118 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,240 Speaker 1: I mean, I just don't think that's where I'm at. 119 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 1: So I think the whole like slut of Pelooza thing, 120 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,840 Speaker 1: like it was fun to joke about. But maybe it's 121 00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:58,680 Speaker 1: just not me. Maybe that's why I never was hap 122 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,480 Speaker 1: a the phase in my life. Maybe that's just not me. Well, 123 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 1: I actually love that that piece of it because when 124 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 1: you were talking about it back in the day, I 125 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 1: was like, this, this what he really wants. And I 126 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 1: did sort of feel like you were saying it because 127 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:17,240 Speaker 1: it's fun. Yeah, but like ultimately the person that I 128 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 1: know and you wants a relationship and a partner, and 129 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:23,839 Speaker 1: so like, sure, I mean everyone wants to have more sex, 130 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,840 Speaker 1: but is that going to be satisfying? Ultimately, Probably not 131 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,120 Speaker 1: for you because it's not how you're wired or what 132 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,799 Speaker 1: you want. And then the piece about where you just said, 133 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,279 Speaker 1: maybe the reason I didn't do is because you know 134 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 1: that's not who I am. Like, I love that because 135 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 1: that means you stayed true to who you are. Like 136 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,719 Speaker 1: when I think back about times where maybe I wasn't 137 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 1: or I was a little bit on the border of 138 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 1: a slidy phase or whatever, it's me abandoning myself or 139 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 1: me trying to get some deeper need met that wasn't 140 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 1: going to be satisfied with that, but I thought, maybe 141 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,560 Speaker 1: this is what I need, or like it's a temporary 142 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:57,919 Speaker 1: fix or whatever it is. You know. Well, and the 143 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 1: thing is is like, look, it's you know, I've I've 144 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,719 Speaker 1: been I'm open about like my body issues, and it's like, 145 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,760 Speaker 1: could I have more sex, Yes, but it would be 146 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:09,120 Speaker 1: with people that I'm not attracted to. So it's like, 147 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,400 Speaker 1: then I'm just doing it for the sake of doing it. Um, 148 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 1: And you know that causes a whole another level of shame. 149 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,880 Speaker 1: I would imagine what cause a whole another level of 150 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 1: shame because that's not what I'm really looking for. What 151 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:24,400 Speaker 1: I'm looking for out of a slutty phase is for 152 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 1: a lot of people to want to be attracted to me. 153 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:30,280 Speaker 1: That's the real thing. Like I think that's where that was, Like, 154 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: Oh well, if I'm like slutty, that means that people 155 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 1: think I'm hot what I mean? And it's like, well, 156 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:39,960 Speaker 1: that's not really what I need to be doing either. 157 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,840 Speaker 1: It needs to be I need to accept myself for 158 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,960 Speaker 1: myself and love myself and then fall in love. That's 159 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,080 Speaker 1: what I really want. Can I say something that I've 160 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 1: noticed too, It's like when we are seeking that out 161 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: from other people, usually there's like maybe a desperate energy 162 00:07:55,960 --> 00:08:00,480 Speaker 1: or something that we put out that actually like deters 163 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:03,240 Speaker 1: people from being that way with that whenever I am 164 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 1: like satisfied with myself and I'm just like not seeking 165 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 1: it from anyone else, or I just feel good about myself. 166 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 1: Like actually, had that happened to me two different times 167 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,560 Speaker 1: this weekend, Like I was it was like I was 168 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,440 Speaker 1: oblivious to anyone else, but like I could tell like 169 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,720 Speaker 1: I was putting out some energy based off what I 170 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 1: was getting, like being coming to me that I didn't 171 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,280 Speaker 1: It was like shocking to me, you know, and like 172 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 1: I don't know what. I don't know how to explain 173 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:32,680 Speaker 1: it other than I spent a lot of time in Vegas, 174 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:36,080 Speaker 1: like in the mornings, like meditating and really like working 175 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 1: on loving myself because that's just where I am right now. 176 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,720 Speaker 1: And um, anytime I was really tapped into that and 177 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:46,480 Speaker 1: feeling confident in it was just interesting to watch people's 178 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 1: reaction to me. Isn't that weird? I mean, I think 179 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 1: like that confidence is a really sexy quality in people. 180 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 1: And also maybe just like the lack of needing something. 181 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 1: Someone is not cute, but you don't mean to be that, right, 182 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,480 Speaker 1: but people must be able to pick up on that 183 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,320 Speaker 1: or well, you know, I think that we all have 184 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,000 Speaker 1: a lot of outside influence in our lives and tell 185 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 1: us that like you need to be cuter, you need 186 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 1: to be more successful, you need to be with somebody, 187 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,480 Speaker 1: you need to have a baby, you need all these things. 188 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:18,520 Speaker 1: And suddenly you feel desperate, not because of what you 189 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 1: actually want, because of what you're being told you need, 190 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:23,360 Speaker 1: or you feel panicky that you don't and then you 191 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,960 Speaker 1: and then you like, go do these things that really 192 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:32,439 Speaker 1: aren't satisfying anyway. So that was that's reflection that anybody 193 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: who's out there and that's cute that wants to have 194 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:38,520 Speaker 1: sex for the rest of our bring up. Also, are 195 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 1: we up on okay Cupid? What's the update? Yes, here's 196 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 1: the problem with okay Cupid. I do think it's a 197 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 1: really cool um platform. I just used it wrong in 198 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:51,160 Speaker 1: the beginning. So I'm like, there's there's nobody for me 199 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: to slipe on. Oh I forgot about you saying that, 200 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 1: And it's like, you know, every few days I'll check 201 00:09:56,840 --> 00:10:00,840 Speaker 1: it because hopefully somebody signs on. But um, yeah, I 202 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 1: feel like I'm like that into the road. Oh my god, 203 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 1: we're gonna have to talk to Melissa about what do 204 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 1: we think about you getting on another app like Bumble 205 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:13,439 Speaker 1: or Hinge or um I still have Tinder and Bumble okay, 206 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:19,160 Speaker 1: so um to hit chip up. I'm assuming your I mean, 207 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 1: I don't. I mean, it's just like what I got 208 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:27,240 Speaker 1: nothing on that? Are you serious? Um? Yeah, I don't have. 209 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,840 Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, my names are on there, but you 210 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 1: can't search. I don't think you just have to find 211 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 1: me like swipe until you find me, Okay, weird. Obviously 212 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 1: I know nothing about dating apps. We're going to get 213 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,200 Speaker 1: you on one. Oh god, I still can't think about 214 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,560 Speaker 1: it yet. Um. So when it comes to reflection, I 215 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 1: guess that is a good transition. You know. I'm in 216 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:53,240 Speaker 1: a major phase of reflection right now. And when I 217 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:55,679 Speaker 1: was thinking about this podcast with like sex and dating 218 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: and love and relationships, It's like, I guess, like the 219 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:02,439 Speaker 1: thing that I've been reflecting on the most is that one. 220 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 1: I think that this journey with learning about ourselves and 221 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 1: our relationships with ourselves and then how we are in 222 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:14,000 Speaker 1: relationships is just going to be lifelong. Like that's a 223 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,560 Speaker 1: new reflection of mine. Is like stop pretending like you're 224 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:18,560 Speaker 1: just going to get this figured out one day and 225 00:11:18,559 --> 00:11:21,720 Speaker 1: you're going to graduate from any work, Like it's constant. 226 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,920 Speaker 1: Do I think that parts of it get easier and 227 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,959 Speaker 1: you have a different foundation, Yes, I do, And I 228 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:31,640 Speaker 1: think I'm working towards that, which is exciting. Um And 229 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:34,200 Speaker 1: some days it's not exciting and it's painful and it's terrible. 230 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,839 Speaker 1: So it's just like both. But I do know that 231 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:40,959 Speaker 1: like the importance of reflection. I believe after a long 232 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:44,600 Speaker 1: term or you know, a hard relationship or just a 233 00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:49,040 Speaker 1: serious relationship in any capacity is super important because I 234 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 1: know if I jumped into something right now, like I 235 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:55,120 Speaker 1: would literally all of the same wounds, which is activate again, 236 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:56,880 Speaker 1: you know, and like I don't want to be the 237 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,679 Speaker 1: same person that I was in the past relationship. So 238 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 1: the only thing I know how to do is pause 239 00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:04,920 Speaker 1: for a second. Actually hell, take the time to grieve 240 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:08,600 Speaker 1: and heal and just continue on this learning journey about 241 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,600 Speaker 1: myself and about like the things I bring to the 242 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:14,640 Speaker 1: table what I want, Like you're what you were kind 243 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:16,840 Speaker 1: of referencing, like what is true to me? Because I 244 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:20,520 Speaker 1: do have a bad pattern of self abandoning when I 245 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 1: like it'm either in a relationship that I don't want 246 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:27,560 Speaker 1: to lose, or I am trying to keep like trying 247 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:30,400 Speaker 1: to keep something going, or I really want to make 248 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:33,160 Speaker 1: my partner happy, and I can't do that because it's 249 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 1: just it's not good for a relationship. It's not good 250 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,319 Speaker 1: for me, it's not good for them, it's not good 251 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 1: in any capacity. So those are the things I'm really 252 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,600 Speaker 1: reflecting on now. But I think as like as a culture, 253 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,720 Speaker 1: we move so fast that a lot of people don't 254 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,400 Speaker 1: take time to reflect and I just think in this topic, 255 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 1: in this area in general, it is so so so 256 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,880 Speaker 1: important because we we bump up against ourselves in relationships, 257 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,280 Speaker 1: Like that's our learning place. I think for me it 258 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,880 Speaker 1: is at least. I mean, I think there's plenty of 259 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:03,280 Speaker 1: people who don't care to learn. They just want to 260 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:07,800 Speaker 1: be in a relationship, and that's fine, that's just not you. Um. 261 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 1: I also just like everyone should take as much time 262 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 1: as they need between relationships, you know, like if you 263 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,080 Speaker 1: if you have to go from one to another to 264 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:23,040 Speaker 1: another to another, there's independency issues that you need to unpack. 265 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,960 Speaker 1: Like I gotta tell you, Like as much as I 266 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,880 Speaker 1: would like to have a partner and be having sex 267 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:29,880 Speaker 1: and be in love and all those things, like being 268 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:35,640 Speaker 1: singles also kind of great. Yeah that and you know, 269 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 1: do whatever discovery you need to do about yourself and 270 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,600 Speaker 1: take that however much time you want. Like yeah, um 271 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,920 Speaker 1: it just sounds exhausting to me right now, Like I'm like, 272 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:46,840 Speaker 1: oh my god, the idea of being on an app 273 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:50,880 Speaker 1: like or just like in general, like going on a 274 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,320 Speaker 1: date and putting effort into getting to know someone, like 275 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,880 Speaker 1: I just don't care right now, and so like that's 276 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,199 Speaker 1: not fair to that person, you know, Like I don't 277 00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,760 Speaker 1: want to be sitting there being like, oh, I'm having 278 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:02,280 Speaker 1: a bad day about my ex and then like go 279 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:05,000 Speaker 1: on a date and be like, okay, make me feel better. 280 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:09,000 Speaker 1: Like that feels just so selfish. I don't know, and 281 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,600 Speaker 1: just knowing I don't have anything to really fully give someone. 282 00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:15,640 Speaker 1: I just can't. That's just not how thanks. Um, Okay, 283 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:17,960 Speaker 1: we have a couple of questions. I'm just gonna say 284 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,960 Speaker 1: what we're gonna start doing. Okay, can we discussed that 285 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:24,160 Speaker 1: big rock that you're playing with? So I just did 286 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 1: an interview for UM this other podcast that I'll post 287 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:31,160 Speaker 1: about whenever it comes out. But I was nervous today 288 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:35,320 Speaker 1: for some read the topic was about this, like relationships 289 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 1: and addiction, those kind of things, and so I was 290 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:40,760 Speaker 1: really nervous because I felt really vulnerable and stuff like 291 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:43,880 Speaker 1: this crystal in my lab trying to call me. I mean, 292 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 1: it looks like a big oyster. It does kind of. 293 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,800 Speaker 1: It's raw. It's a raw crystal, but it's got calming properties. 294 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:51,640 Speaker 1: This is what I do when I stress out. Sometimes 295 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:59,240 Speaker 1: when I meditating, it's like adult pet rocks. True. It's 296 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,480 Speaker 1: like she's sitting at literally holding a rock that is 297 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,720 Speaker 1: bigger than a softball. It's as big as my hand. 298 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:06,920 Speaker 1: Do you want to name this since it's about Pete, 299 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,200 Speaker 1: I'll think of that. I was going to say Susan 300 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:14,920 Speaker 1: as I felt natural rocky anyway, Okay, since the lizards 301 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:18,880 Speaker 1: can't hear, I didn't. What are you doing with that 302 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,840 Speaker 1: big rock? Um? Okay, So what we're gonna start doing 303 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,080 Speaker 1: moving forward is Chip and I do want to keep 304 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,520 Speaker 1: talking to you guys about our experiences and taught to 305 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 1: you as friends, because I think that is why people 306 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:33,640 Speaker 1: listen to this podcast. And there's some of the questions 307 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,080 Speaker 1: that are above our pay grade, and so we're gonna 308 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:39,640 Speaker 1: have right now. So literally, like I might be a 309 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:43,440 Speaker 1: morning in virgin Um. Yeah, it's like feels weird because 310 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:45,840 Speaker 1: neither one of us is in a relationship or having sex. 311 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:50,680 Speaker 1: So we can speak from past experiences as we always will, 312 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:54,040 Speaker 1: and also like the insight that we've come to in 313 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,880 Speaker 1: our own yeah, opinions, etcetera. But I want to have 314 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 1: an expert on board to you, So we'll have a 315 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 1: sit in therapist every month on this podcast to answer 316 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 1: the hard questions and to keep us in line if 317 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:06,400 Speaker 1: we get a little off track. And ship answer some 318 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 1: of our questions. A meant to that, sister, Um, okay, 319 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,200 Speaker 1: but this week do you want to know if it's interesting? 320 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:16,600 Speaker 1: When I posted on my Instagram about what questions people 321 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 1: had in relation to reflection, a lot of it was 322 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:23,160 Speaker 1: like about sex, and I thought that was interesting because 323 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:26,000 Speaker 1: it wasn't sex outside of like relationships or people just 324 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:30,320 Speaker 1: pursuing random sex. It was all about relationships or long 325 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:33,840 Speaker 1: term relationships and how sex had changed, and so they 326 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:37,040 Speaker 1: were kind of reflecting on why, but also like talking 327 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 1: about how unsatisfied maybe they were, which is interesting. Like 328 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,880 Speaker 1: I've been in a nine year relationship and I definitely 329 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,680 Speaker 1: found this dynamic to where like it would, it kind 330 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,040 Speaker 1: of shifts, like sometimes one person's way more into it 331 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,800 Speaker 1: than another. You've been in long term relationships like ebbs 332 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,120 Speaker 1: and flows, but then when you get in the really 333 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 1: long term like the twenty years and stuff, and like 334 00:16:56,960 --> 00:17:00,320 Speaker 1: what people are bumping up against is so fast hating 335 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:04,640 Speaker 1: to me. I mean some of it is just biological too, 336 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:08,040 Speaker 1: you know, it's like your ology, you're dealing with psychology, 337 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,960 Speaker 1: you're dealing with just sex drive. I mean, it's well, 338 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:14,200 Speaker 1: the hard thing about being a woman in comparison, like 339 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:18,240 Speaker 1: dudes are horny and all that stuff in their twenties, 340 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:19,960 Speaker 1: Like I mean, I think they always are, but like 341 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:24,160 Speaker 1: mostly their sex drives there in their prime. We don't 342 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:28,320 Speaker 1: hit like I'm in mine right now, really yes, and 343 00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 1: I'm not having sex, so there you go. No, but 344 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:36,240 Speaker 1: I feel between guys. I didn't think it. I didn't 345 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:45,920 Speaker 1: think Lord called me Rock call me now. I am 346 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,000 Speaker 1: in my prime. And I felt the shift like a 347 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,560 Speaker 1: couple of years or maybe like a year year and 348 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,879 Speaker 1: a half ago. I literally have felt the shift like 349 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:58,440 Speaker 1: it is wild hormonally what happens to women? Wow? Yeah, 350 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:00,800 Speaker 1: maybe you need to have slutter pulls and just a 351 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,200 Speaker 1: bunch of ten Could you imagine the head case I 352 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:06,400 Speaker 1: would be if I just started sucking random ded old 353 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:16,320 Speaker 1: the Vandy bars, Just like how do people look at 354 00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:18,879 Speaker 1: that ship? And like like Okay, For instance, I was 355 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,200 Speaker 1: in Vegas and one of my clients, Lane Hardy, was there. 356 00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:24,959 Speaker 1: He's the cutest thing ever. I just love him, adore him. 357 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,520 Speaker 1: He's like a little baby. He's like he's like I 358 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,639 Speaker 1: just literally like someone was like, oh he is so cute, 359 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,719 Speaker 1: and I was like I know, and I'm like I 360 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,560 Speaker 1: feel creepy even saying that, And I was like, Oh, 361 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,120 Speaker 1: I mean like, I literally like feel like i'd take 362 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,399 Speaker 1: care of it. He's like a little brother. Yeah. So 363 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,720 Speaker 1: I don't understand how people look at significantly younger people 364 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:45,080 Speaker 1: like that in a sexual way. It like creeps me out. 365 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,800 Speaker 1: I just find it really weird. Um, but anyway, so 366 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,720 Speaker 1: that can't be me. Thank you for trying. I'm grab 367 00:18:52,800 --> 00:19:03,399 Speaker 1: my rock. Um let's get into some of these questions. 368 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,200 Speaker 1: It says Mary, thirty years and my drive have gone 369 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,359 Speaker 1: up and his has gone way down. He says, nothing 370 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,159 Speaker 1: is wrong. Help. So I texted this girl back and 371 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,000 Speaker 1: I was like, can you tell me what's your question here? 372 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,199 Speaker 1: I don't understand. She said that she keeps bringing it 373 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:19,000 Speaker 1: up to him and it's been hard to even like 374 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,440 Speaker 1: talk about. So she said, I've been with my boyfriend 375 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,520 Speaker 1: for almost two years. We stopped having sex months ago. 376 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,280 Speaker 1: He's a great guy and I love him very much, 377 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,480 Speaker 1: but I also have needs asked him to go to 378 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:31,160 Speaker 1: the doctor as we think it is just low testosterone, 379 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 1: which I thought you might have something to say about that, 380 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:37,720 Speaker 1: but he won't go. Should I give it more time 381 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,840 Speaker 1: or move on? I'm sure he's not cheating, so that's 382 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,280 Speaker 1: not a part of it. And I said, does he 383 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,160 Speaker 1: know what's going on or really talk to you about 384 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,159 Speaker 1: it or does he just shut down? She said, he 385 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,280 Speaker 1: shuts down. I've been very clear with him that this 386 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,760 Speaker 1: is an issue, but he just shrugs and stays quiet. 387 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 1: And so I said, so no therapy, as sam, And 388 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 1: she said, oh no, he wouldn't. I think that guys have. 389 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:04,520 Speaker 1: Um there's a lot of shame around sex set and 390 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:08,680 Speaker 1: or not being interested or being able to perform or whatever. Um, 391 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,560 Speaker 1: even the idea of going to your doctor and being 392 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:14,080 Speaker 1: like I can't fucking get my dick hard, like I'm 393 00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 1: not interested, like means you have to say that to 394 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,160 Speaker 1: your doctor, like and saying it out loud. There's like 395 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:26,040 Speaker 1: that's hard for a guy to do. Maybe she should 396 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,879 Speaker 1: just like on the log, get some like dick pills 397 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:35,360 Speaker 1: or something, and and like do it in a way 398 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,640 Speaker 1: where it's like, let's spice this up. Let's let's take 399 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:40,320 Speaker 1: these pills and see what happens. Because I mean, if 400 00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:43,520 Speaker 1: there is something where there's e D involved and that's 401 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:46,320 Speaker 1: the issue and he doesn't want to admit erectile dysfunction, 402 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,840 Speaker 1: not everyone's hip on the linga um and and the 403 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,560 Speaker 1: and there's shame. There's like a shame spiral going on 404 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:58,879 Speaker 1: because of it. Um, maybe you can help fix it. Um. 405 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,879 Speaker 1: I mean I'm obviously out there, so it's that would 406 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,960 Speaker 1: be my one piece of advice. It's like, try try 407 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,440 Speaker 1: that because I just think, like dudes aren't going to 408 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,239 Speaker 1: talk about that ship Like they don't want to talk 409 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:10,520 Speaker 1: about it with their doctor, they don't want to talk 410 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:14,879 Speaker 1: about it with their girlfriend, you know. And it's I 411 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 1: feel like you got to find a creative solution versus 412 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:21,280 Speaker 1: pushing to like go to therapy, go to a doctor, 413 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:24,840 Speaker 1: go to whatever, because like he would rather you dump 414 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,600 Speaker 1: him than have to admit that he can't get a 415 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:30,399 Speaker 1: heart on that is. So it's so it's so wold 416 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,240 Speaker 1: because it's like the more she wants to talk about it, 417 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,639 Speaker 1: the worst it probably gets because the shame stuff that 418 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,840 Speaker 1: you're talking about. Because immediately when I read this, of 419 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 1: course this is when I wish we had a therapist 420 00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:42,840 Speaker 1: already on board. But like my initial reaction is there's 421 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:47,080 Speaker 1: something emotional going on, Like there's an emotional component. I feel. 422 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,960 Speaker 1: I don't know why, but like I think that, I mean, 423 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,639 Speaker 1: you're you're having an emotional A guy can have an 424 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:56,639 Speaker 1: emotional reaction to something that's physical. Well, so it did it, 425 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 1: but it did it start with the physical or did 426 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,080 Speaker 1: it start with something emotion and all like some sort 427 00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:03,879 Speaker 1: of avoidance or like is there a deeper trauma issue 428 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,679 Speaker 1: we don't know about? Like there's so many things I 429 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,600 Speaker 1: can go into that and then it's like they're two 430 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:11,840 Speaker 1: years in, So that's the point in your relationship where 431 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:15,480 Speaker 1: things are like the lust phase has worn off, the 432 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:19,280 Speaker 1: honeymoon phase has worn off, and it's like more serious, 433 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:22,760 Speaker 1: So true intimacy has to develop, right, and like maybe 434 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,000 Speaker 1: there's some intimacy issues. I don't know. I'm just like, 435 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:29,000 Speaker 1: is this actually an emotional situation or is this a 436 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:32,080 Speaker 1: physical issue? Could it be low testosterone? There's all kinds 437 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:35,679 Speaker 1: of factors. If he's not willing to go ask for 438 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:38,560 Speaker 1: help in some capacity, like I don't know what she 439 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 1: can do hands or tie? Yeah, I mean honestly, it's 440 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:46,800 Speaker 1: like in some ways, like if what if my theory 441 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:52,320 Speaker 1: is correct, him getting dumped solves his problem? That is 442 00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:57,680 Speaker 1: so funny that he would rather get wouldn't be sad 443 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:03,960 Speaker 1: if And of course what if if getting fixing whatever 444 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,200 Speaker 1: the problem is it seems like a bigger hill to 445 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:11,600 Speaker 1: climb then finding another girlfriend to like have this be 446 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:15,520 Speaker 1: a cyclical thing. Then yeah, but okay, so what you 447 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:19,080 Speaker 1: just said is exactly my point, And why not reflecting 448 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,520 Speaker 1: is a fucking issue because he goes and gets a 449 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,640 Speaker 1: new girlfriend and then two years later the same ship happens. 450 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:29,200 Speaker 1: Stuff doesn't just get fixed because you switch people. I'm 451 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,679 Speaker 1: not saying it's the right thing. I'm just I'm just 452 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:35,160 Speaker 1: theorizing about what might be going on. You could be right. 453 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:38,439 Speaker 1: Do you see how it amped up? I just I 454 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,040 Speaker 1: just that it drives me crazy. I'm just like, hello, 455 00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:44,720 Speaker 1: do we not get this as like a humanity yet 456 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,680 Speaker 1: that like, your issues aren't going to go away. You're 457 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:51,480 Speaker 1: always going to be stuck with you. So whatever you have, 458 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:53,720 Speaker 1: you got you're going to take with you. And like, 459 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,600 Speaker 1: if you have a girl who loves you and is 460 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,720 Speaker 1: willing to sit with you and work through whatever, which 461 00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:01,159 Speaker 1: it sounds like this one is, just address it like 462 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,840 Speaker 1: there's no shame. Everyone has ship. Yeah, totally. Doctors have 463 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,840 Speaker 1: heard it all. Oh my god, therapists have heard it 464 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:11,600 Speaker 1: at all. Like whatever is going on, I just hope 465 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,679 Speaker 1: that you know, maybe he can be I think it 466 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:18,000 Speaker 1: takes bravery, like you said, especially with dudes. But just 467 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,639 Speaker 1: know that, like, there's no shame in asking for help, 468 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:25,040 Speaker 1: whether it's to get help with your testosterone levels or 469 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,560 Speaker 1: if there's something deeper going on, which I have the 470 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,840 Speaker 1: instinct that there is, or else. If it was just testosterone, 471 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,560 Speaker 1: wouldn't you just go get a fucking pill? Yeah, I 472 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,879 Speaker 1: mean I would think that there, but you have to 473 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 1: if you don't, if you don't have the courage to 474 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:42,679 Speaker 1: say to your doctor, like I think my testosterone levels 475 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:46,439 Speaker 1: are long, I guess yeah. I mean, our bodies are 476 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,640 Speaker 1: these weird machines that just do things like and sometimes 477 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 1: they things break. I mean, think of your doctor like 478 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,720 Speaker 1: going to the automotive shop to get your car fixed, 479 00:24:56,800 --> 00:25:00,960 Speaker 1: get your oil changed, change man. Well, and for the 480 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,600 Speaker 1: thoughts towards her, I mean, I think it's one of 481 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,680 Speaker 1: those situations. I'm not gonna be like, oh, move on 482 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,720 Speaker 1: or you know whatever. I do think it's like in relationships, 483 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,920 Speaker 1: we have to be able to have hard conversations or like, 484 00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,800 Speaker 1: and so maybe the most you know, be as supportive 485 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:20,600 Speaker 1: as you can and also don't abandon yourself and your Yeah, 486 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:25,400 Speaker 1: so just communicate about that yeah, and then like it's 487 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,119 Speaker 1: about having realistic conversations like I don't want to be 488 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,639 Speaker 1: in a relationship where I never have sex again, so 489 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:33,560 Speaker 1: like we got to do something here, and like let's 490 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:36,439 Speaker 1: walk through this together. I think maybe trying to remove 491 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,679 Speaker 1: any sort of shame he may be feeling. I mean, 492 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:40,720 Speaker 1: you can't remove it for him, but like, be as 493 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:45,120 Speaker 1: kind and loving as you can. God speed, keep us posted. 494 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:50,399 Speaker 1: I hope you get some d girls. I'm just kidding. God. 495 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,560 Speaker 1: What is that song of Beyonce? I always love that? 496 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:57,880 Speaker 1: Give me that? Okay. My mom was like, stop, you're 497 00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:03,240 Speaker 1: doing so much better. Okay. This girl says ask the 498 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,879 Speaker 1: hard questions at the start, to not waste time or 499 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:11,560 Speaker 1: go with the flow. I my personal opinion is, and 500 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:13,639 Speaker 1: I think it's also an age thing. If you're twenty 501 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,000 Speaker 1: years old, maybe you go with the flow a little 502 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,200 Speaker 1: bit more. If you're older and you really know what 503 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:24,359 Speaker 1: you want, then I think you fucking lay it out. Um. 504 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:27,280 Speaker 1: I don't think you need to say like, well, are 505 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,760 Speaker 1: we going to get married on this first date? But 506 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,400 Speaker 1: you can say do you want to get married? Yeah? 507 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,760 Speaker 1: Like it's really important that I Like, what I'm looking 508 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,720 Speaker 1: for is marriage, and if that's not something that you're 509 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:40,679 Speaker 1: looking for, then let's have this drink and get the 510 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,560 Speaker 1: funk out of here exactly. You know, like we could 511 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,280 Speaker 1: be friends, but we're not going to date. And I 512 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:48,280 Speaker 1: think it's like I don't think that makes somebody crazy. 513 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,480 Speaker 1: I think it makes somebody decisive. It's also like knowing 514 00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,520 Speaker 1: what you want and like setting up the expectations and 515 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,439 Speaker 1: intentions from the beginning so that you're not neither of 516 00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,640 Speaker 1: you are wasting time. Like if someone is just looking 517 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:01,520 Speaker 1: for fun in and they they're not in looking for 518 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,880 Speaker 1: anything serious, and or they never want to get married 519 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:08,320 Speaker 1: in their life, that's okay, but that would they might 520 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,280 Speaker 1: not be for a person who wants to get married 521 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,400 Speaker 1: and is actually looking for a serious partnership right now. 522 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,320 Speaker 1: You know, Like, I think you're exactly right. It comes 523 00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:19,480 Speaker 1: with age. But I talked about this with um your 524 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,440 Speaker 1: modern therapist, Leah Acquire a couple of weeks ago during 525 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:25,760 Speaker 1: our love month. But she was saying, like, you really 526 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,159 Speaker 1: do just need to be honest with people, Like the 527 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,360 Speaker 1: kids situation. That is a huge topic of conversation. If 528 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,360 Speaker 1: someone doesn't want to have kids and you really want 529 00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:35,800 Speaker 1: to have kids, don't waste your time thinking they're going 530 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,840 Speaker 1: to change their mind. That is Like it's funny because 531 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:40,919 Speaker 1: I have my my friend. I have a friend in 532 00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:44,880 Speaker 1: Los Angeles. He's gay and he and his partner, um 533 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:47,400 Speaker 1: broke up because his partner was like, yeah, I don't 534 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:49,879 Speaker 1: want to have kids, and they broke up and he 535 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,639 Speaker 1: dated around and then finally one day was like, fuck it, 536 00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:54,880 Speaker 1: I'm gonna adopt. I just want to I want a kid. 537 00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:56,920 Speaker 1: I'm getting older, and decided that he was going to 538 00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:02,000 Speaker 1: adopt on his own. And then um, his partner came 539 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,480 Speaker 1: back around and they've like now got a kid together, 540 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:07,240 Speaker 1: and but you have to stay true to you. You 541 00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:09,080 Speaker 1: have to stay true to you. And then like he 542 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,200 Speaker 1: ended up like it's a kind of a fairytale ending 543 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:14,240 Speaker 1: because he got both of the things that he wants. Um. 544 00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:17,640 Speaker 1: But um yeah, yes, some people can change. But like 545 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:22,879 Speaker 1: you know, in my friends um case, like he was 546 00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,080 Speaker 1: just like it was it was not negotiable. He's like, 547 00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:30,920 Speaker 1: if you don't want kids, then by because I'm getting 548 00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 1: a kid. So um yeah. Like I I think, moving 549 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:40,520 Speaker 1: off of the topic of children in particular, like I think, 550 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,640 Speaker 1: um to answer the question about like hard questions, like 551 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,800 Speaker 1: hard questions within reasons like I don't think on the 552 00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,840 Speaker 1: first date you bring up like, you know, are you 553 00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,200 Speaker 1: into like s and am like you don't get into 554 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 1: like kinks and weird things like that, Like some of 555 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:59,360 Speaker 1: that stuff you like sort of float unless like that's 556 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:02,600 Speaker 1: all you want to you know, But I think like 557 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:05,120 Speaker 1: the big life questions like do you want kids? You 558 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:09,160 Speaker 1: definite Leah said. She was like, you can call them 559 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,520 Speaker 1: non negotiables because I was always saying like, oh, we 560 00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,200 Speaker 1: just don't have the same values, and she's like, is 561 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,600 Speaker 1: that a value or is it a non negotiable because 562 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,400 Speaker 1: like there's certain things that I value and then there's 563 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,360 Speaker 1: certain things that I am like absolutely not. This is 564 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,280 Speaker 1: like hands down, I need this. But you want to 565 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:28,120 Speaker 1: know the interesting thing, I think that it's such a 566 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:32,000 Speaker 1: good experience in us really getting to know ourselves to 567 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:33,800 Speaker 1: be like that, Like if you're just like a go 568 00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:36,320 Speaker 1: with the flow kind of person and dating, then you're 569 00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:38,600 Speaker 1: probably a go with a flow kind of person with yourself, 570 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,560 Speaker 1: and you might abandon yourself or you might not know 571 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:45,680 Speaker 1: like who you truly are, what you truly value, because 572 00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:47,400 Speaker 1: you're just kind of like, oh well, maybe i'll see 573 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:48,960 Speaker 1: what this feels like, which is okay to be in 574 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,760 Speaker 1: that process too. But like like you said, with age, 575 00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,320 Speaker 1: I'm getting to a place where I'm like, no, this 576 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,960 Speaker 1: is like a serious thing for me. Like we've talked 577 00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,240 Speaker 1: about the fact that I had never known I Yeah, 578 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,400 Speaker 1: like I never knew I needed someone who was on 579 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:04,840 Speaker 1: their own spiritual journey until this year. Is that a 580 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:07,080 Speaker 1: fucking joke? That is literally like the biggest thing of 581 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:10,200 Speaker 1: my personality. I mean, think about you could be married. 582 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:14,840 Speaker 1: What do you mean you were engaged totally um, and 583 00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:18,040 Speaker 1: that hadn't cross stre had not crossed someone, that would 584 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,160 Speaker 1: have been the decade later. I was engaged a decade 585 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:23,240 Speaker 1: ago that I just him getting to this awareness. But yeah, 586 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,920 Speaker 1: I think it's really important to spend the time with 587 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,640 Speaker 1: yourself being like and that's always going to evolve, but 588 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:32,920 Speaker 1: it's like you're a different person completely. Yeah, but I 589 00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:35,160 Speaker 1: think it's like, you find a partner who you can 590 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,800 Speaker 1: hopefully hopefully evolve with would be the goal, but like 591 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,040 Speaker 1: you have to know your non negotiables and stand true 592 00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:45,760 Speaker 1: to them first, you know. That's my two cents. That's 593 00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:55,520 Speaker 1: my opinion. That was really really okay. This girl says, 594 00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,280 Speaker 1: I feel ridiculous calling my thirty seven year old boyfriend 595 00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:01,280 Speaker 1: a boyfriend. It seems childish, child us what else? That's 596 00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:05,120 Speaker 1: a partner in my head, But that's what they are 597 00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:08,000 Speaker 1: at this age, don't you think? Yeah, I think partner. 598 00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:12,880 Speaker 1: It's like yeah, I also just think it's like it's 599 00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:16,640 Speaker 1: a good blanket term. What do you mean? It like 600 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:21,360 Speaker 1: works across all sexualities. That's partner, partner, boyfriend, and it 601 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,440 Speaker 1: takes the pressure off of having to get married. Like 602 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:28,920 Speaker 1: I just maybe that's like a season of life we're into. 603 00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:32,160 Speaker 1: But like I don't know that everyone our age wants 604 00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,280 Speaker 1: to get married and so like, but you can have 605 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,600 Speaker 1: a life partner or like if you're in a long 606 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:39,720 Speaker 1: term relationship and you live together, it's like a lot 607 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,720 Speaker 1: that's like a lot of those relationships are actually better 608 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:46,640 Speaker 1: sometimes than technically married people that I've seen. But it 609 00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,520 Speaker 1: does so it doesn't matter. Labels don't matter to me. 610 00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:51,239 Speaker 1: But it's like, are you can are you invested in 611 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:53,600 Speaker 1: the relationship and each other and each other's lives, and 612 00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:58,080 Speaker 1: like are they your partner a partner not boyfriend? Yeah? Okay. 613 00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:01,560 Speaker 1: Thoughts on boyfriend being close friends with female coworker they 614 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:03,840 Speaker 1: hang out one on one. I feel like we've had 615 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:11,240 Speaker 1: a similar conversation. Um, I I'm fine with it, Like 616 00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 1: because trust is really at the crux of this question. Um, 617 00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,880 Speaker 1: And because I don't know the person asking this question 618 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,960 Speaker 1: or her boyfriend. UM. You know, it's hard for me 619 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,280 Speaker 1: to say with the right answer for them would be 620 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,000 Speaker 1: but like it boils down to like, well, do you 621 00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:30,720 Speaker 1: trust them? Like, if you trust them them, fine, they 622 00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:32,959 Speaker 1: should have friends with whoever they want to have friends with, 623 00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:36,880 Speaker 1: be friends with, um. But if you don't trust them, 624 00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:39,600 Speaker 1: then that's a different there's a whole another problem you're 625 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,360 Speaker 1: dealing with. Yeah, I think we have had this question 626 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:44,520 Speaker 1: before and I said a similar answer to what you 627 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,640 Speaker 1: just said. And I think trust is like the most 628 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:50,000 Speaker 1: important thing in a relationship because if you don't have it, 629 00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:55,000 Speaker 1: none of it works. Nothing else works. It's just the facts. UM. 630 00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:58,160 Speaker 1: I think if it sounds like if you're sending in 631 00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:00,880 Speaker 1: this question, you're probably like there's some sort of uncomfortable 632 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:03,800 Speaker 1: level with it, and so like I would just say, 633 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:06,680 Speaker 1: I feel like in relationships, you should be able to 634 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:10,960 Speaker 1: have a conversation about what those other relationships are, Like, Hey, 635 00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:13,520 Speaker 1: it's sort of weird that you're a boy and a 636 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:14,960 Speaker 1: girl and like I don't want to make this a thing, 637 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,200 Speaker 1: but it's it's a cool thing, right, or like maybe 638 00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:19,760 Speaker 1: you hang out with them too, or you definitely meet 639 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:21,960 Speaker 1: the girls, so then you're comfortable and it's not you 640 00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:24,440 Speaker 1: should be friends like you should the door should be 641 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,840 Speaker 1: open for you all to be friends too, correct. And 642 00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:29,120 Speaker 1: I think it's also fair to be like, hey, I 643 00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,840 Speaker 1: don't want to sound like I don't trust you, but 644 00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,160 Speaker 1: I feel a little uneasy about this, Like I just 645 00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:37,360 Speaker 1: need I want to set my mind at ease, right, 646 00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:39,880 Speaker 1: And if there's nothing going on, it shouldn't be a 647 00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:43,800 Speaker 1: weird conversation. Yeah, it's typically as an adult, it's like 648 00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:45,240 Speaker 1: I didn't know that you want to be friends with 649 00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:49,680 Speaker 1: my coworker totally are like yeah, sure, Like this isn't 650 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:51,840 Speaker 1: an issue at all. Here's the nature of our relationship. 651 00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:54,440 Speaker 1: This is the dynamic whatever. And then it's over. It's 652 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:56,640 Speaker 1: just like, whatever it is you need, I feel like 653 00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:58,720 Speaker 1: you should be able to communicate it. And if it's 654 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,240 Speaker 1: not an issue, then that conversation really doesn't need to 655 00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:06,120 Speaker 1: be difficult. It's just a conversation and then you move on. Um, 656 00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:09,040 Speaker 1: this girl says how to date with a purpose as 657 00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:11,799 Speaker 1: a thirties something in a city like Nashville. It's tough 658 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:19,480 Speaker 1: out there. I mean, girl, when you figure out the question, Okay, wait. 659 00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:22,239 Speaker 1: My first reaction though, when she said it's tough out there, 660 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:25,560 Speaker 1: we have this friend who says, you get back the 661 00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:29,360 Speaker 1: energy you're putting into something. And so with that said, like, 662 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,200 Speaker 1: if you're saying, oh, it's tough out there, and you're 663 00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:33,880 Speaker 1: going in with this energy of how hard dating is, 664 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:37,000 Speaker 1: it probably is going to continue to be hard if 665 00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:39,360 Speaker 1: you go in with this energy of like, I'm just 666 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,080 Speaker 1: gonna be open, I'm gonna have fun. Like that day 667 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:43,839 Speaker 1: didn't work out. Who if that was a bad one 668 00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:46,480 Speaker 1: or oh that was fun. Like if you're open and 669 00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,000 Speaker 1: you have the mentality of there's good guys out there, 670 00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,799 Speaker 1: this is fun. I wonder if you would draw in 671 00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,000 Speaker 1: something different than if you have the mentality of I 672 00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,600 Speaker 1: need to be guarded. I'm saying this like to you 673 00:34:57,680 --> 00:34:59,640 Speaker 1: and me. By the way, this is like I think 674 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:02,440 Speaker 1: we've a all done this. But I observed my friend 675 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:06,080 Speaker 1: put in a very positive energy and an active energy, 676 00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,520 Speaker 1: Like she actively went on a bunch of dates with 677 00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,520 Speaker 1: a very positive mentality and it worked out for her. Yeah, 678 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:15,200 Speaker 1: I also think too, that you have to, like, um, 679 00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,319 Speaker 1: throw the picture of what your prince charming looks like 680 00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:21,759 Speaker 1: out the window too, because that could be holding you 681 00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:25,359 Speaker 1: back like on paper. Yeah, it's like be open, like 682 00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:28,040 Speaker 1: meet people, like have dinner with somebody that you might 683 00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:31,719 Speaker 1: not normally have had dinner with, because there could be 684 00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,600 Speaker 1: an emotional connection that you could just fully don't expect. 685 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:36,839 Speaker 1: That's a good point in the same way that like 686 00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:38,799 Speaker 1: the hot guy in the room might be dumb as 687 00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:41,280 Speaker 1: ship and found nothing in like bom in his ears. 688 00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:51,560 Speaker 1: So what do you do in your part You and 689 00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:54,520 Speaker 1: your partner have different sex drives. It's coming from a female, 690 00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:59,520 Speaker 1: And so I said different in what way? And she said, 691 00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:02,200 Speaker 1: for reference, I'm twenty eight in these thirty six. He 692 00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:04,759 Speaker 1: doesn't seem to be interested in sex. We have on 693 00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,160 Speaker 1: average about one to two times a week, but I'd 694 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:10,239 Speaker 1: like more. Is it an age thing? Am I overthinking this? 695 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,120 Speaker 1: In the beginning, it was extremely hot and heavy, as 696 00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:16,400 Speaker 1: any relationship is. But now it almost feels scheduled. And 697 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,560 Speaker 1: we've only been together one point five years and just 698 00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:21,640 Speaker 1: moved in together. The scheduled sex you talk about that, 699 00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:24,680 Speaker 1: Chip hates it. I do think the thing is probably 700 00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:29,120 Speaker 1: I mean we touched on this earlier, like he's out 701 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:35,759 Speaker 1: of his prime, you know, Um, yeah, I mean that 702 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:39,480 Speaker 1: to me sounds like it's an age thing. But what 703 00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:41,279 Speaker 1: do you think? I wish we had the therapist to 704 00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,960 Speaker 1: be like, what is a normal number? Because one of 705 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:50,439 Speaker 1: two times a week isn't terrible? But maybe she said, 706 00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:53,640 Speaker 1: am I overthinking it? If the overthinking piece makes me 707 00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:55,960 Speaker 1: think of like what is it that you're thinking the 708 00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:59,319 Speaker 1: sex equates to? Like, if you're not having sex more 709 00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:02,160 Speaker 1: than two times a week, does that mean something about you? 710 00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:05,720 Speaker 1: Does that mean something about your relationship? Like what's behind 711 00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,120 Speaker 1: that for you? Sheifs so annoyed that I'm making us 712 00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:12,000 Speaker 1: go deeper. He's like, God, why does everything? But that 713 00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:16,440 Speaker 1: is true, It's totally true. But I'm also like, what's 714 00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:20,640 Speaker 1: the work situation? Is he to a lot of variables 715 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,719 Speaker 1: that we just don't have the information. And also in 716 00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:24,920 Speaker 1: the beginning it was extremely hot and heavy. It always 717 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:28,200 Speaker 1: always that's just like the part of the beginning. Yeah, 718 00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,040 Speaker 1: one point five years is at one point five to two, 719 00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:34,200 Speaker 1: especially if you move in together, it's not the honeymoon 720 00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:42,879 Speaker 1: phase anymore. Well okay, but also comfort that like for sure, yeah, 721 00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:44,440 Speaker 1: I don't think you have to overthink it. But if 722 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,080 Speaker 1: you want more sex, have a conversation with him. I 723 00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:50,960 Speaker 1: don't know what sexy like yeah, I mean maybe she's 724 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:54,399 Speaker 1: doing like I feel weird giving these suggestions because maybe 725 00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:57,319 Speaker 1: she don't know where's lingeriate to bed every night and 726 00:37:57,320 --> 00:38:01,800 Speaker 1: it's trying all these things, but like I don't know, Like, um, 727 00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:05,680 Speaker 1: I think I have a conversation about it. Yeah, um, 728 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:09,680 Speaker 1: initiate it, like if if if if this is an 729 00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:11,680 Speaker 1: instance where like you're just sitting around waiting for the 730 00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:14,400 Speaker 1: dude to initiate it, like maybe take you know, the 731 00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:19,520 Speaker 1: bull by the horns and like initiate things. And I mean, okay, 732 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:22,719 Speaker 1: not to knock on scheduled sex because Chip hates this, 733 00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:25,239 Speaker 1: but like if life is really busy and it's like 734 00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,920 Speaker 1: you're naturally having one sex one or two times a 735 00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:35,160 Speaker 1: week anyway, um, maybe like schedule a date night or 736 00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:38,120 Speaker 1: schedule something that makes it one on one time for 737 00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:41,000 Speaker 1: you guys that can be sexy. You lead up with 738 00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:44,800 Speaker 1: some sexy text or whatever it is you need to do. Um, 739 00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,520 Speaker 1: But like I don't know, I just think that it's like, 740 00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:51,520 Speaker 1: don't knock the scheduled situation until you're in the place 741 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,799 Speaker 1: where it's like you might need it, and especially if 742 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:55,640 Speaker 1: you want to amp things up a little bit or 743 00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:59,160 Speaker 1: spice things up, even like I don't know, adding different 744 00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:01,880 Speaker 1: elements your sex side, do something different so it's not 745 00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:05,440 Speaker 1: so monotonous too. Yeah, I mean you can also like 746 00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:07,840 Speaker 1: loosely schedule like you just sent him a text like 747 00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:10,840 Speaker 1: in the afternoon that's like, suck your brains out tonight. 748 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,960 Speaker 1: You love that statement, chips dying to say that to 749 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:18,000 Speaker 1: someone every time it comes to schedule sex here, that 750 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:20,360 Speaker 1: is where you go. You go to, I'm going to 751 00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,080 Speaker 1: suck your brains out, or I want you to suck 752 00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,839 Speaker 1: my brains out tonight. And like if you ever sent 753 00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:31,360 Speaker 1: me that text, if your testosteron got really those pills, 754 00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:37,240 Speaker 1: oh my god. Anyway, well, I would tell a dude 755 00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:39,080 Speaker 1: that he would need to say it a little differently. 756 00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:41,279 Speaker 1: It was gonna be about point like I'm gonna suck 757 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:44,280 Speaker 1: your brains out tonight. Doesn't really get my juices blowing, 758 00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:47,719 Speaker 1: just saying I don't know how it works in the 759 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:51,959 Speaker 1: gay world, but I'm just paraphrasing. You know. Oh really, okay, 760 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:59,239 Speaker 1: tell us your brains out, tell us your dirty talk 761 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:03,680 Speaker 1: right now? Oh, my god, you want me to if 762 00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:08,279 Speaker 1: you'll do it yet, damnit the fine, just email them 763 00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:12,840 Speaker 1: at h I P I okay, we gotta move. We 764 00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:15,440 Speaker 1: gotta move. This is anonymous if you use it right. 765 00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:19,840 Speaker 1: But i've been I'm just what if I was like, Yes, 766 00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:24,160 Speaker 1: married and I love my wife. She's very sexy and beautiful. 767 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:27,439 Speaker 1: We've been married eleven years and been together probably twenty years, 768 00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:30,759 Speaker 1: but our sexual relationship is non existent. I try and 769 00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:33,799 Speaker 1: get and engaged, but there's just no interest. It's like 770 00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:37,000 Speaker 1: we're just friends. When we do have an intimate moment, 771 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:40,160 Speaker 1: such just making out, our heavy petting, it's just so awkward. 772 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,799 Speaker 1: If sex has even tried to be an option, it's 773 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:46,359 Speaker 1: like whoa, no way, man. It feels like we don't 774 00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,920 Speaker 1: even know each other. We don't have children, that was 775 00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:52,040 Speaker 1: our choice. All in all we do is have our 776 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:56,040 Speaker 1: strong relationship or bond. I know this is probably typical 777 00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,360 Speaker 1: questions or stuff you guys get. I don't want to 778 00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:00,399 Speaker 1: go the rest of my life without having sex. Sorry 779 00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:03,000 Speaker 1: if that sounds selfish. I try to talk about it 780 00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:05,560 Speaker 1: with her, but she sometimes seems mad and just doesn't 781 00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:09,160 Speaker 1: want to discuss. That's tough. I mean, you don't have 782 00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,040 Speaker 1: to apologize for wanting to have sex. That's like a 783 00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:15,719 Speaker 1: very it's a human need and we all want that. Yeah, 784 00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:18,560 Speaker 1: shame around that, No, there should There shouldn't be any 785 00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:22,840 Speaker 1: shame around that. How long have they been married? Eleven years? 786 00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:27,520 Speaker 1: They've been together probably twenty, he said, probably. I'm not 787 00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:30,480 Speaker 1: sure what that means. Well, it sounds like they probably 788 00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:33,359 Speaker 1: have kids. Like they don't have kids, he said that, 789 00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:46,640 Speaker 1: then what's she's so tired? Um? God, I don't know. Um, 790 00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,040 Speaker 1: I see if this is where it's like away on 791 00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:53,520 Speaker 1: a vaca. I don't know, like do like break whatever 792 00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:57,680 Speaker 1: the norm is, um and try and do something romantic. 793 00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:00,560 Speaker 1: I don't know. It's like, okay, we'll let said when 794 00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:05,840 Speaker 1: making even making out. Yes, there's some sort of disconnect happening. 795 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,319 Speaker 1: I mean, let me ask what a normal folks would think, 796 00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:12,960 Speaker 1: because like I would immediately be like just involve a 797 00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:18,560 Speaker 1: third party and go to a therapist and like what 798 00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:22,520 Speaker 1: they want to do. I don't know, um, but there's 799 00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:25,799 Speaker 1: something missing and like this isn't something we can give 800 00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:29,000 Speaker 1: advice on because it's I don't know what's happening in 801 00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:30,719 Speaker 1: the day to day of the relationship or what the 802 00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:33,520 Speaker 1: history is like if there's some sort of something that 803 00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:37,200 Speaker 1: we don't know, but if you're it's awkward when you're 804 00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:41,200 Speaker 1: making out, there's some sort of wall up, and unless 805 00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:43,200 Speaker 1: you can get past that wall, I don't think you're 806 00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:46,120 Speaker 1: having sex. And honestly, like, and I'm not the one 807 00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:49,480 Speaker 1: that's doing like work on myself, but it sounds like 808 00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:52,560 Speaker 1: there's a trauma there that is oh my god, did 809 00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:57,120 Speaker 1: you stop the word that's the t today? No, it 810 00:42:57,160 --> 00:43:00,960 Speaker 1: sounds like there might be some she's even if she's 811 00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:03,440 Speaker 1: not even aware of what it is exactly that look 812 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:05,839 Speaker 1: at you. Oh my god, I am rubbing hanging out 813 00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:08,360 Speaker 1: with Kelly a couple of times a week a therapist. 814 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:14,000 Speaker 1: You're welcome, um or I'm sorry, I'm not sure what's ready? Um, 815 00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:17,520 Speaker 1: I agree? And then so that makes me feel really 816 00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:19,640 Speaker 1: good that I'm not the only one suggesting therapy at 817 00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:22,360 Speaker 1: this point. I just feel like it's like you sound 818 00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:24,239 Speaker 1: like you might be beating your your head against a 819 00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:26,080 Speaker 1: wall if you keep just trying to go this route. 820 00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:28,400 Speaker 1: And like, you can't apologize for wanting to have sex, 821 00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:30,839 Speaker 1: especially when you're in a relationship, Like that's a part 822 00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:33,879 Speaker 1: of a relationship, it's a very important part of a relationship, 823 00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:36,120 Speaker 1: and maybe even the therapy doesn't need to be a 824 00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:41,040 Speaker 1: couple's therapy. Maybe it's just one on one. Sure, Yeah, yeah, 825 00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:43,759 Speaker 1: maybe you start with going to therapy you're on your 826 00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:46,200 Speaker 1: own and talk about the issues and see if they 827 00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:47,920 Speaker 1: can have any guidance as to where to take this 828 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,960 Speaker 1: with your wife. As a man, I would imagine that 829 00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:55,160 Speaker 1: would be a slow step. But that's a judgment and 830 00:43:55,200 --> 00:44:00,640 Speaker 1: I don't know wrong, Like may be you don't make 831 00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:03,440 Speaker 1: it about wanting to have sex, but making you make 832 00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:07,160 Speaker 1: it about and the conversation that you have with your wife. 833 00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:10,080 Speaker 1: You don't make it about like the endgame of having sex. 834 00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:14,680 Speaker 1: It's about like, Hey, I'm concerned about you, Like I'm 835 00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:17,480 Speaker 1: worried that there's something deeper going on that has nothing 836 00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:20,239 Speaker 1: to do with me, that has nothing to do with um, 837 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:23,160 Speaker 1: your sex drive, those things, that there's something that's causing 838 00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:24,359 Speaker 1: you not to want to do it. I don't want 839 00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:25,680 Speaker 1: you to go seek help. I want you go to 840 00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,520 Speaker 1: talk to somebody. I would murder you if you ever 841 00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:31,080 Speaker 1: said that to me. That really, Oh my god, Yeah, 842 00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:33,440 Speaker 1: it feels like shots fired. Who the funk are you 843 00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:35,560 Speaker 1: to tell me that? Like that's how I would interve 844 00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:39,440 Speaker 1: with that, and I'd be like, then sull, I definitely 845 00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:45,120 Speaker 1: don't want to now. No. I think that the reason 846 00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:47,360 Speaker 1: I say that is because that seems like he is 847 00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,680 Speaker 1: approaching her like this is her fault, and it's like, 848 00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:51,759 Speaker 1: we don't know what's going on, and so that the 849 00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:54,560 Speaker 1: reason I have suggested that he go to therapy first 850 00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:59,400 Speaker 1: would be to get a therapist guidance or maybe what 851 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,320 Speaker 1: some of the deeper issues are in general, if the 852 00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:05,640 Speaker 1: is are on her end, well, I doubt it's never 853 00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:08,200 Speaker 1: just one person. Well, it sounds like he's the one 854 00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:11,160 Speaker 1: that wants to be okay. Well, but maybe there's more 855 00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:13,600 Speaker 1: to the story that we don't know about their relationship, 856 00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:16,480 Speaker 1: and so maybe the therapist could give some insight into 857 00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:19,560 Speaker 1: why she's not wanting that, or how to approach her 858 00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:23,080 Speaker 1: in a way that's not like aggressive, because like it's 859 00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:26,239 Speaker 1: like if someone tells you to calm down, like when 860 00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,120 Speaker 1: you're worked up and they're like you just calm down, 861 00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:30,319 Speaker 1: You're like, I'm not gonna fucking calm down. Like if 862 00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:34,040 Speaker 1: you say you're concerned about someone, it feels shaming too. Well, 863 00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:37,759 Speaker 1: I feel like like this is your issue. But like 864 00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:43,279 Speaker 1: if you're married, I don't think that. I like, I 865 00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:45,399 Speaker 1: think it's like you can come from a real place 866 00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:49,600 Speaker 1: of caring to be like this isn't normal, and I'm 867 00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:52,879 Speaker 1: concerned about you, like I want you to go seek something. 868 00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:56,080 Speaker 1: But there's also selfish motivation, not selfish, but there's a 869 00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:59,719 Speaker 1: motivation on his end to have sex, and so there's 870 00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:03,880 Speaker 1: where or to have a whole relationship. I agree. I 871 00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:09,120 Speaker 1: just there's something about keeping it on ourselves. If she's 872 00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:12,200 Speaker 1: not looking to find help for herself, then maybe she 873 00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:16,319 Speaker 1: needs a little nedge, is all I'm saying. Yeah, you 874 00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:20,800 Speaker 1: know what, Well I was gonna right, I mean, because 875 00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:23,919 Speaker 1: threaten somebody and I don't know. I just don't think. 876 00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:25,720 Speaker 1: I don't think that's the route. I think it's about 877 00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:28,520 Speaker 1: you approach it with heart and caring, like well, I 878 00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:30,719 Speaker 1: agree with you on that, like hey, but it's more 879 00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:34,200 Speaker 1: of like hey, I feel really disconnected to you and 880 00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:36,799 Speaker 1: like we haven't had sex an X amount of time, 881 00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:40,080 Speaker 1: Like that doesn't feel normal to me in a relationship, 882 00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:42,640 Speaker 1: and I want to with you, like I love you, 883 00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:45,080 Speaker 1: I'm attracted to you. He said, she's sexy, she's beautiful, 884 00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:47,600 Speaker 1: she's all these things. So like, what do I need 885 00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:50,879 Speaker 1: to do? Like what can I work through with you? 886 00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:54,040 Speaker 1: Or like making a team effort versus a like you 887 00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:57,360 Speaker 1: have a problem, bitch, go handle it. That's never going 888 00:46:57,400 --> 00:46:59,799 Speaker 1: to go Well yeah, I mean I was not so 889 00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:05,040 Speaker 1: justin being insensitive. Okay, Well, I'm just telling you how 890 00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:10,080 Speaker 1: I hurt it. We're going to go see a therapist now, 891 00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:12,360 Speaker 1: Jim and I are going to involve a third party. 892 00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:14,440 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful she'll be here next week. She can 893 00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:18,279 Speaker 1: help us through this communication issue. We're happy, all right, 894 00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:20,879 Speaker 1: we gotta go. But I the third party. I thought 895 00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:29,160 Speaker 1: you we gonna take it somewhere else. It could be 896 00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:32,640 Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe a therapist suggest that. I don't know. 897 00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:38,160 Speaker 1: Maybe the wife's a lesbian. We don't know. She's like dude, Yeah, 898 00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:45,279 Speaker 1: there's so many factors we don't know. But thing we 899 00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:52,560 Speaker 1: kept an anonymous Okay that note, Um, next next month, 900 00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:56,080 Speaker 1: we'll have a third party here to help the discussions 901 00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:57,399 Speaker 1: and to help us when we get a little off 902 00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:01,520 Speaker 1: track with our vis Probably we our opinion based Chip 903 00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:03,839 Speaker 1: and I, So this is based on our experience and 904 00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:07,240 Speaker 1: hopefully just like the conversations you guys have with your friends. 905 00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:09,600 Speaker 1: So keep the questions coming. You can always email us 906 00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:12,879 Speaker 1: at the edge at velvet edge dot com. I on Instagram, 907 00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:16,440 Speaker 1: I am at Velvet's Edge Chip. I'm at Chip Doors, 908 00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:23,160 Speaker 1: which is h I P D O R S. H okay. Oh, 909 00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:26,799 Speaker 1: he's a little sex tone to it today. I guess 910 00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:29,920 Speaker 1: that works for the podcast. All right. Anyway, as you 911 00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:32,279 Speaker 1: guys go into the weekend and you're living on the edge, 912 00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:35,960 Speaker 1: I hope you always remember to casual am I getting 913 00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,279 Speaker 1: really good at that? Or is it just by thank 914 00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:39,480 Speaker 1: you bye,