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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This cold Stratton

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Speaker 1: here filling in once again for Kevin Pollock, who was

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Speaker 1: off doing reshoots on the Santa Claus For Cupid does

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Speaker 1: Monte Carlo? Let's meet our alchemists for today. A lady

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Speaker 1: who always knows where Carmen san Diego is, Vanessa Ragland.

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Speaker 1: What kind of a gum shoe are you? Oh, sticky?

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Speaker 1: That makes sense. Next, a guy with a lifelong band

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Speaker 1: at Red Robin Joey Greer, Joe, What in the world

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Speaker 1: did you do with that burger joint? I legally I

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Speaker 1: can talk about it. We're still in litigation, okay, respectful?

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Speaker 1: It makes sense. A man who was seriously let down

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Speaker 1: by great expectations. Mark Gagliard, Hello, Mark, What school assigned

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Speaker 1: book did you actually dig? Growing up? The My favorites

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Speaker 1: were the Bear and Stained Bears books, and then I

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Speaker 1: stopped right after those. I stopped reading entirely once chapters

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Speaker 1: were introduced. No, thank you, thank cover it all with

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Speaker 1: the Bears? Yeah they did? Which which universe? Did you

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Speaker 1: read them? In? The barn? Same Bears? Are they up? Next?

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Speaker 1: The only witness to who let the dogs out? Brad Norman,

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Speaker 1: who was it Brad who let him out? You know, honestly,

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Speaker 1: I want to blame the government. I want to blame

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Speaker 1: the moral compass political you know, we all lest we

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Speaker 1: are the dogs, and we all let ourselves out. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I'm pretty drunk. And finally she wore wide

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Speaker 1: after Labor Day and no one said anything. Caroline Cotter, Caroline,

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Speaker 1: what's your favorite holiday? Labor Day? Nice? Yeah, it's easy

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Speaker 1: for me. The only one I recognize all year long,

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Speaker 1: A big one. Let's get to our first scene. All

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Speaker 1: of today's scene suggestions were gathered from our listeners emails.

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Speaker 1: If you'd like to submit yours, please write to the

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Speaker 1: podcast at your name here at alchemy this dot com.

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Speaker 1: That's your name here at give me this dot com.

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Speaker 1: Our first scene comes from Chris, who wrote, I just

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Speaker 1: wanted to say love the show. I always listen right

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Speaker 1: away on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I think you've all made

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Speaker 1: me laugh cry at some point, so I won't single

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Speaker 1: anyone out. But Chris Alvarado not being able to do

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Speaker 1: accents is funny by itself. Okay, that's what gets me. Okay,

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Speaker 1: how about Nerds go Camping? Or maybe just another episode

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Speaker 1: of time plane. I hope you will never stop. Best

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Speaker 1: Chris from Silver Spring, Maryland or empty I think it's Maryland. Right,

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Speaker 1: there's a doctor. There's a doctor. All right, look, okay,

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Speaker 1: everyone just just stop moving for a goddamn alright, just

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Speaker 1: just all right. We're gonna chop some wood. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: go down to the river. We're gonna fish some fish.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna get some water. Okay, desalinize it, all right, yes,

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Speaker 1: all right? Why is there salling in the river because

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Speaker 1: look there's a saaling plan up up river and stump

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Speaker 1: salling down the crystal. Don't worry about it. It's a

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Speaker 1: good thing. Okay, sailing can save your life. But we're

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Speaker 1: do you saling izing it? Well? You got to drink it, right,

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Speaker 1: scalp master Bob, Yeah, that's right. Can I just I

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Speaker 1: just want to confirm we do get badges that we

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Speaker 1: can take back to our God. Take your retainer out

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Speaker 1: for God. Check it out, I said, just the top

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Speaker 1: on my mouth, her teeth just look like a retainer.

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Speaker 1: We need to get our patches on this trap that's

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Speaker 1: going to happen, right, I'd love to try the fishing thing.

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Speaker 1: I brought a die here. Let me roll to see

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Speaker 1: if I'll catch one. I got a six. Let's get

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Speaker 1: a dexterity bonus. I don't think I'm going to snag

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Speaker 1: a fish today. I guarantee everybody is going to catch

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Speaker 1: a fish. You guarantee this guarantee, not certain that statistically

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Speaker 1: it's possible for everyone to catch a fish. I did

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Speaker 1: most of the algorithm. Head just now, Yeah, and he's correct. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Bucky is correct. Thank you, Elliott, all R. Why don't

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Speaker 1: we get out of our heads. Let's get out of

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Speaker 1: our heads. Let's be in nature. Will we be in

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Speaker 1: nature for a little bit? Where do I plug this in? Nowhere?

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Speaker 1: You cannot plug an iPad in? Then anything? There's not

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Speaker 1: there's but there's outlets, chargers. I brought chargers. We can

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Speaker 1: just take a lay on here. And you're so resourceful,

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Speaker 1: please excited about being one with the nature? All R.

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Speaker 1: Let's break up into groups. Groups, Sean Christian, why don't

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Speaker 1: you guys go get the wood? And then why don't

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Speaker 1: we have I'm gonna call m Tito and alright, Crystal,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna call you Chris. All right, Chris, why don't

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Speaker 1: you two go down and start hooking lines again? The

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Speaker 1: fishing pools. Ready, Okay, we're gonna go. So we're on wood.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna go get I don't get it. Direction, okay,

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Speaker 1: don't just stand there? Go right? All right? If you

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Speaker 1: follow up questions king the line and there's gonna be

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Speaker 1: some bait and then feed it through the hook, I understand.

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Speaker 1: I have it all here in my Scott book. I

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Speaker 1: don't need to just unrelated to Crystal's question, um, how

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Speaker 1: are we supposed to carry the wood back down here?

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Speaker 1: Once we have in your arms? Well, my doctor told

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Speaker 1: me I don't have muscles in my arms, so yeah,

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Speaker 1: like at all, at all. That's what he said on

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Speaker 1: my check up yesterday. That's true. She always just watches

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Speaker 1: gym class. Yeah, no muscles in your muscles. You can

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Speaker 1: see it's so thin the way they dangle, just bone

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Speaker 1: and skin. Oh my god, they are so thin and

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Speaker 1: don't touch me. It's just wanted to. Of course, I

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Speaker 1: boned some arms. What would it be. I wanted to

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Speaker 1: make sure there was something in there. I didn't. I

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Speaker 1: didn't know that there was. There was no muscles, there

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Speaker 1: was no bone, she'd have no shape. It It looks

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Speaker 1: like empty balloons. It looks like arm shape. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: cutting Bucky, cutting Bucky. What's a big black furry thing

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Speaker 1: up in that tree? Oh my god, that is a

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Speaker 1: tree wolverine? Every what? Oh my god, snicked wolverine. Wolverine?

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Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, I would look lookally, this is

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Speaker 1: mating season for the wolverine. Okay, so they are in

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Speaker 1: heat and they are angry. Don't scare Logan, everybody hang back.

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Speaker 1: Logan can adamantium claw to the guy. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think it's kind of pretty. Animals do something ugly

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Speaker 1: because they're tracking. It's just I don't know saying. I

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Speaker 1: thought it sounded go what you're saying. But I feel

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Speaker 1: like my eyes are closing. My eyes are closing. What

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Speaker 1: you are freaking out with? Analogy? I have a freaking out.

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Speaker 1: I'd keep a calm. I just need I need my

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Speaker 1: I need something. Keep someone for my backpack, drill? Oh,

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Speaker 1: every kind bene Okay, I'm not just gonna pass how

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Speaker 1: ben We're not gonna get high on benatrol to bring

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Speaker 1: enough for everyone. I have enough for everybody. She's the

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Speaker 1: only one with an allergic reaction. We're super allergic. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: thank you. I feel it working all right, now let's

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Speaker 1: get to it. Let's get do it. And you know

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Speaker 1: it's scot Master Bob. I volunteered to stay up and

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Speaker 1: watch the first watch okay, and volunteer. Tribute? Tribute? What

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Speaker 1: what is that? What is that? What the well? Come in?

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Speaker 1: It's it's a it's a reference to a series of

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Speaker 1: teen novels. Did in to someone's outside the tent. Let

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Speaker 1: me just see. Is it Logan the wolver I don't,

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Speaker 1: I don't. Oh my god, it's a little gift. It

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Speaker 1: looks like we have a Woods the admirer. This is fun.

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Speaker 1: Looks like there's a treasure. This is a sort of

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Speaker 1: structured activity. Okay, breaks of something that scouts put together.

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Speaker 1: I already greatly enjoy the problem solving an aspect. I'm

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Speaker 1: really good with maps. I'm a level thirty four paladins.

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Speaker 1: So let me give the map roll to see if

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Speaker 1: you're allowed to look at the map. You're right, you're right, right, Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's a good role. So, okay, we have a paladin.

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Speaker 1: I'm Christian. That's fun. Right, let's open up about ourselves.

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Speaker 1: Let's let's be open about so here, take this map.

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Speaker 1: Take a little look. Now there's a piece missing. I

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Speaker 1: don't know where it could be A piece of the map?

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Speaker 1: Is piece of the missing? Oh? Is it? What's in

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Speaker 1: your front pocket right there? Oh? Yeah, that is corner

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Speaker 1: of the map. We found it. Look at that we

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Speaker 1: were the piece of the map all along. That is

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Speaker 1: so sweet. Did you learn that on one of your

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Speaker 1: weird sex animal shows? Well, now, I've been trying to

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Speaker 1: apply my general intelligence to metaphors and literature and trying

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Speaker 1: in an attempt to get closer to communicate with people

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Speaker 1: on a regular basis. We should speak into I don't know. Okay, guys,

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Speaker 1: all right, so for your next question, uh, it looks

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Speaker 1: like we have a new group entering. All right, okay,

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Speaker 1: fun So this is going to be nineteen eighties trivia

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Speaker 1: about different shows and films and okay, so yeah, whoever

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Speaker 1: wants a beer? Just going to the bar here? So

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Speaker 1: the first question is what actor was in questions? Yes?

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Speaker 1: I did, Yes, I did, Okay, yes I did? What

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Speaker 1: actor was in the show? Alf, there's a lot of actors.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to the bar and get a beer.

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Speaker 1: Can I don't know any of the names of him.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, just the one that looks at stinkiest.

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Speaker 1: Draw a mustache on me? Okay, I can't. Can someone

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Speaker 1: pick up my arm for me to draw? I think

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Speaker 1: I can put your finger, you can draw one. I

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Speaker 1: love that? So helpful. You alright, your blood mustache looks

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Speaker 1: really good. Excuse me, bartender, an adult person. I would

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Speaker 1: like two beers please, whichever is the stinkiest, the stinkiest.

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Speaker 1: You say, yeah, that's old. That's old thigh lift, old

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Speaker 1: thigh list. It's it's a multi multi lager. I'll take

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Speaker 1: two of them, all right, Sorry, little boy? What you

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Speaker 1: seem to have a blood muzzle? Uh? This is my

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Speaker 1: this is my man mustache? Oh two parts? All right?

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Speaker 1: You must be a grown up if you're drinking old

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Speaker 1: bye lift, have a great day. Okay. So I have

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Speaker 1: all the answers in and I have Martie's beer. Oh thanks,

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Speaker 1: thank you? Okay, and uh, team team number one? That

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Speaker 1: name name Crystal, and I could be team number one.

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Speaker 1: You're right with Sherman Krill? Can you read pretty sure

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Speaker 1: Sherman Krill is not an ALF? Do you have the

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Speaker 1: box set? Max? Right? Was it acceptable? Answer? Alf himself

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Speaker 1: was a good answer. Okay, Look, if you think you

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Speaker 1: can do this and won't you do it all right? Okay,

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Speaker 1: is that a real thing? Hey, I guess what, Brian, Brian,

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Speaker 1: I'm fucking done with this man. Okay, I'm done with

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Speaker 1: this alright. I'm out of this bar. All shucks. You

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Speaker 1: cannot be done with this bar. You were paid by

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Speaker 1: Thighmaster to get him out there. I'm the rep as

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Speaker 1: you know that will rep this up your ass. I'm

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Speaker 1: out of here, man. Hey, Woodland meeting, guys. I think

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Speaker 1: we can run this trivia game if we have to.

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Speaker 1: Maybe we can even take over the bar. Let's take

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Speaker 1: over this whole bar. I wish Logan the Wolverine was

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Speaker 1: here with this, making a heck of a lot easier.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, there he is Logan the Wolverine, the

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Speaker 1: wolverine in the bar. God, he's eating everyone and everything.

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Speaker 1: Hey Logan, if I put a blood mustache on you,

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Speaker 1: will you go get some more beers? Okay? There you got?

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Speaker 1: All right? You know, guys, Can I just say this

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Speaker 1: has been a really magical camping trip, you know, and I,

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Speaker 1: for one, I'm super glad that it's been intermural. Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Okay, this worry hard? Thank god? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that led here? Oh my god, there's wolverine here. He's

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Speaker 1: part of the troop. Now on our side. Get behind me,

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Speaker 1: na use your arms to flail on a way that

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Speaker 1: makes it think that there's more than one of your

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Speaker 1: guys muscles. She has bones, though she can't move, all right,

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Speaker 1: everyone just oh my god, Christian, you're bleeding bleeding from

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Speaker 1: your nose. Oh no, no, no, I just put on

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Speaker 1: a fake my sat so I could get some stinky

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Speaker 1: heres I did. That's man. My parents when they write

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Speaker 1: their review of this whole trip, we're going to talk

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Speaker 1: about how great you are letting us do all this stuff.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate that. I really do need that. And don't

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Speaker 1: worry about Logan. He's cool, all right, enough, said bub

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Speaker 1: He's a cool guy. Yeah, it's one thing I know

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Speaker 1: that the trust of a child to a rabbit animal.

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Speaker 1: That's a connect and the only nature has, and that's

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Speaker 1: a pure He ate him in one big bite. The

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Speaker 1: biologies are definitely Yeah. That released a lot of fur,

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Speaker 1: a whole lot of fur. YEA. I used to like

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Speaker 1: nature documentaries, but now that it's like all over me,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I like him too. Realeah, what

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Speaker 1: happened the boys and girls? Scouts Club of America tonight

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Speaker 1: that we honor a Scout leader who had passed on

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Speaker 1: the line of duty, good Man good Land and representing

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Speaker 1: them here at the funeral services. Is his Scout Troop

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Speaker 1: one one eight. Yeah, Well, what's the prize? There's no well,

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Speaker 1: the prizes mortality, no one that we got an in.

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Speaker 1: That's the prize. What the hell? I have prepared a

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Speaker 1: few words sponsored by Old Thigh Lift. What is it? Well,

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Speaker 1: Scott Master Bob was well, he was my stepdad and

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Speaker 1: he wanted me to call him dad, but I didn't,

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Speaker 1: not until we buried what was left of him. And

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Speaker 1: I just want to thank him for being a man

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Speaker 1: of honesty, a man of valor, a man of courage,

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Speaker 1: and possibly not a man of foresight, because those kinds

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Speaker 1: of folks are more fun. Hold up, let me roll

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Speaker 1: to see how sad you are. You're pretty sad. That

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Speaker 1: was a natural anyway, we all learned an awful lot

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Speaker 1: about being in the woods and being armless, and I

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Speaker 1: have it's just no muscles. You always say I'm armless.

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Speaker 1: You're right. That was reductive. I'm sorry, you know, like

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Speaker 1: just overcoming challenges where I'm getting at, you know, and

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Speaker 1: and we want three hundred and seventy five dollars in

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Speaker 1: that tribute contest. So we split that evenly and we

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Speaker 1: donated it to uh Scott Master Bob's favorite charity. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: which I don't know why we decided to divide up evenly.

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Speaker 1: And then okay, we get that was maybe some extra math,

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Speaker 1: but I mean getting that math badge. Hey, how can

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Speaker 1: we never knew he was your stepdad? You never open

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Speaker 1: up to us like that? No, that was the last

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Speaker 1: step dads. That's nice work. My mom has a lot

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Speaker 1: of steps. Ce number two comes from Dane, who wrote

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Speaker 1: today from Australia Bloody Gallas Alchemy. This has become a

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Speaker 1: critical staple my week. Thank you all so much for

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Speaker 1: the endless bag of funny. I loved your takes on

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Speaker 1: our backwards ask country thus far, and I hope I

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Speaker 1: could request another. I'd like to hear the crew take

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Speaker 1: up roles as a crappy off brand Scooby Doo, gang

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Speaker 1: up into the Mystery Machine and drive into a supposed

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Speaker 1: haunted house in rural Australia to solve the mystery of

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Speaker 1: who drank all the bloody beer. Bonus points for reading

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Speaker 1: far deeper into the situation than it's called for, especially

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Speaker 1: if the locals are bewildered as to why you're even

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Speaker 1: there in the first place. Keep it coming, love Dame

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Speaker 1: from Newcastle and s W. I think that's New South Wales.

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Speaker 1: Not safe for work. It looks like your kids, Your

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Speaker 1: kids get filled these begs up quite good, didn't you.

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Speaker 1: You're going on some sort of adventure. Yeah we are, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we are. And crookey, we have about reservations there you go,

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Speaker 1: reservations with no white not it not at the big

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Speaker 1: house up top of the mountain, now you little, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'll think we are. Yeah, we got reservations of their

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Speaker 1: Apparently there's a huge haunting going on there. It's not

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Speaker 1: letting anyone farm on the land, and it's causing the

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Speaker 1: land of decreasing value, and the bank's gonna season. If

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Speaker 1: we don't do that, then the locals are not gonna

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Speaker 1: have any food. Yeah, if we is so glad, I

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Speaker 1: put these newspapers right by the run of the right,

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Speaker 1: by the can check out stand. Mean, that's all right,

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Speaker 1: It's just maybe it's just someone trying to scare everybody off.

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Speaker 1: We're real estate stuff. Come on, Slaggy, this thing as

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Speaker 1: ghosts might be ghosts. Look at me, Look at me.

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Speaker 1: There's no such thing, hear me. Okay, you guys just

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Speaker 1: got some new talent from the little story down the road.

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Speaker 1: I was looking for the other stuff. They didn't have it,

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Speaker 1: so I got a new talent the stall down the

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Speaker 1: other by the way. You didn't want to vet your

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Speaker 1: what you're looking for? We got it right here in

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Speaker 1: this store. All your friends came into this store. Well,

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Speaker 1: I guess I was just wandering around in this stupid

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Speaker 1: bikini and one thing to another. I don't know, paper

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Speaker 1: like you going up to them. Hey, guys, I got

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Speaker 1: the mystery machine working again. We should probably head up

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Speaker 1: to the house by the way. Bummer. The only radio

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Speaker 1: station plays Walting Matilda over and over. You disparite song,

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Speaker 1: that's all rights watch him. I don't I don't think

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Speaker 1: I know it. Under the shade of a billet bound tree,

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Speaker 1: we saying always say anyway I did till is nobody

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Speaker 1: knows this song. I don't think I know it. Waltzing

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Speaker 1: Matilda Yolk. Wow, this place is huge. Yeah, this is

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Speaker 1: six levels and six levels. Suky, you're frightened. I don't

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Speaker 1: think so. I don't believe in the horrible things like

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Speaker 1: the piper. No, I don't. I believe in corruption though, well,

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Speaker 1: I believe in corruption. We just lost. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: is that your retainers? Oh that's just how your teeth

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Speaker 1: look some day. Sorry, I'm late. You left me at

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Speaker 1: the store the earl Why, Oh my god? Sorry, sorry,

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Speaker 1: this is handsome man on? Oh my god. Sorry, even better,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna walk the lawn. Miss jack Lanards just show

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Speaker 1: its aroma, spooky pro Jackie. Did he call you jack

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Speaker 1: Landard because you look like a pumpkin. I guess I'll

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Speaker 1: buy the taste dangling and the little candle and saw my,

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Speaker 1: you're just so. There's no charm here. Don't believe there's guys. Look,

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Speaker 1: there's no hat of Tanger Road giving birth everyone. That's

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Speaker 1: up to us to decide. Dang, let's divide up, even

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Speaker 1: though it makes sense for us to stay together. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to try to find a personality. I'll check this

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Speaker 1: room over here with steaming on. You can be on mine.

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Speaker 1: Hold on, Jackie, you go together, Slaggy, you and I

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Speaker 1: will go together, and you'll go solo. Right, bet is

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Speaker 1: there a pool? Because I don't want here to check

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Speaker 1: the pool. Who when did you take your top off? Whoops,

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Speaker 1: I didn't mean to d there's no pool. There as

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Speaker 1: a bit of a hog in the back a wog.

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Speaker 1: There's a bit of a wag in the back log pool.

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Speaker 1: But it's mother sounds nice check out of the wog

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Speaker 1: like though, maybe we should make me go to the

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Speaker 1: walk bug. Oh you're taking list you? Why why don't

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Speaker 1: you go with Jackie? I don't slagis sluggy? Why not?

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Speaker 1: I'm just an Australian beating it frist a juviy? How's

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Speaker 1: it made up? The little scrubbled dobbs? Whatever you say?

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Speaker 1: It's all safe? No not? Why when not? Fall like

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Speaker 1: a problem? Guys, you better get to a quick back

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Speaker 1: in America next week program. All right, let's up, let's

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Speaker 1: do it. La la la la la Niles. You know

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Speaker 1: what that means? Oh my god, no one else is

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Speaker 1: on my team. I'm here. Oh that's my wist favorite vowel.

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Speaker 1: Who goes there? Oh good night? Why are you just

337
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Speaker 1: wearing a bikinis? Just the battom? What I was? I'm

338
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Speaker 1: really not used to this, old man. It's a free country,

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Speaker 1: is it? Well? Mostly, I mean it's a parliamentary system

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Speaker 1: and somebody who's non corporal corporal. He might be a

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00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 1: little more corporal than he looks. I've got a feeling

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Speaker 1: that this ghost is nothing more than a man with

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Speaker 1: a sheet on it. What don't take the sheet off

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Speaker 1: my head? You got me? Yeah, you're just wearing bik

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Speaker 1: bottoms too. Yeah, I thought I was the only one.

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Speaker 1: You were just a guy all along, Yes, Slaggy, I

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Speaker 1: was just a guy all along. I don't know. If

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Speaker 1: you read the paper there was there's some shenanigans going

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Speaker 1: on down here with the with the real estate world.

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Speaker 1: I was trying to just you know, you know what.

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Speaker 1: I would have gone away with it too, if it well,

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Speaker 1: you know, if things hadn't happened badly. Actually, at this

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Speaker 1: point you've pretty much still gotten away with it well,

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Speaker 1: as long as you do keep your trap shut. Which

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Speaker 1: parts my chap jackie bikini bottom? Good thing I went

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Speaker 1: off by myself. I hope everybody else is having better

357
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Speaker 1: luck than I am. Oh, good day by day? What

358
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,040
Speaker 1: the hell did you just say? How do you day?

359
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 1: How do I do? I don't know, I think I

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Speaker 1: do pretty well. See man, Max, Yes, I have you

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Speaker 1: like it? Not the first one. It's not good? Fuck you?

362
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Speaker 1: Am I not good? Well? Yeah, the rest are good,

363
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Speaker 1: but the first one is not great. I do fine.

364
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Speaker 1: We've been through this same man Mix. I'm not who's

365
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Speaker 1: on first thing this with you? Are you a ghost?

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Speaker 1: Lemon I? I do like lemonade any day? I define?

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Speaker 1: Oh wait, am I in some sort of purgatory loop?

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Speaker 1: Then I got to warn you I'm a gist. Okay,

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Speaker 1: a little of big things that happen in here. Okay,

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Speaker 1: he do you do? I do fine? I'm all sorry,

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Speaker 1: darst oh hello, Hi, HELLI I do okay, no, but insiety,

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Speaker 1: I said, Hi, I'm fine. I what my alright? Did

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Speaker 1: my two youngsters get as good at Scary Nosa kids

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Speaker 1: as as their old man? Did him really hard? All right?

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Speaker 1: I think we really told we told him we were

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Speaker 1: ghosts and we didn't back down. All right? Talk to

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Speaker 1: him about med mix? Did you You didn't do that

378
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 1: med Max loop? Did you? I interrupted it? Yeah? Right, yeah,

379
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Speaker 1: sy spooky spooky right? Yeah, clearly yeah, signed, but different.

380
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Speaker 1: You know, I kept telling him we were ghosts of

381
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:30,200
Speaker 1: the problem seems to kangaroo stop giving babies. Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to do even putting mad inside it.

383
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 1: Let's see if it makes more babies. Just go strap

384
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Speaker 1: it down in the wabe. I'm sorry. I came home

385
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Speaker 1: from work and then here we're not doing anything on

386
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:47,920
Speaker 1: toward right in the front door, and I see the root.

387
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:52,040
Speaker 1: Is this pouch is peck for a mud? Yeah, it's

388
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Speaker 1: also pack full of mind from what I understand on

389
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Speaker 1: the inside. To them, you're talking about poop. No, are

390
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 1: you talking about actual mud? No. I'm sick and tired

391
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:03,960
Speaker 1: of the games you play with our kids. That kangaroo

392
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 1: is bearing in our games. They are plans has plans. Yeah,

393
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:11,159
Speaker 1: I got a plan. And look what's your plan that

394
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 1: kids have to go scaring? No, yeah, we wanted to

395
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:17,760
Speaker 1: get rid of those American kids, that one kid. There's

396
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,200
Speaker 1: also something about real estate we're doing. I don't know

397
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 1: what the skin him in that paper. He go right,

398
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,440
Speaker 1: that's right here. Look it's on the front page. This

399
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,960
Speaker 1: will makes sense, or we're gonna get that properly. We're

400
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 1: gonna make a beast parking lot of the cities. It's

401
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:43,520
Speaker 1: see things lives is they will flat concrease. I've got

402
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:48,640
Speaker 1: a huge car and I know where to pocket. Yeah,

403
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 1: I can't wait to part my mad Max charge out here.

404
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:58,439
Speaker 1: I love men, come out here and play my guitar

405
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 1: that shoots fire woil wild. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, so

406
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 1: be great. Underneath this concrete of this parking lot is

407
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 1: a layer of tears of environmentalists. A nice thinned liar,

408
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:20,280
Speaker 1: just one liar, little beat, make a more cry. I'm

409
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:22,800
Speaker 1: so seeing pets. I'm so excited. Let's give it a

410
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:27,240
Speaker 1: walk to Matilda and celebration. There s my tail, won't

411
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 1: saying my tail? Sorry? This was the wall? Oh my gosh,

412
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 1: it's a lot. It's beautiful, like a couple of fils

413
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 1: on the wallaby that's not a wallaby, that's my good friend.

414
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Speaker 1: The windlowers on the reeds and mice on this place

415
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:06,640
Speaker 1: is magical. You can take your sweater off? Are you sure?

416
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 1: I'm not wearing anything underneath? And it looks like I

417
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:12,640
Speaker 1: have a dress on, but that's my body or called

418
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:17,679
Speaker 1: the Hey, thank you? You know I like you if

419
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:22,480
Speaker 1: it's Are you sure? I'm absolutely sure? Okay, I will, okay,

420
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:27,359
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it. Aldustralian Constable. Sweater us off at

421
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 1: the wall and I'll take my wrap off. It's a wrap.

422
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 1: I thought that was your body also sing like calls,

423
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, okay, on the count of three, ready,

424
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,960
Speaker 1: don't take a wall to get it all? Okay, I

425
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 1: don't start turning at three if you hold on man, okay, sure, yeah,

426
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 1: I'll I guess I'll just do it. As soon as

427
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 1: you're almost done. I'll just take my sweater off so

428
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 1: that we will have kind of at the same time.

429
00:28:52,640 --> 00:29:11,320
Speaker 1: That's okay. It's a lot of guys. Okay, and okay,

430
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 1: Oh it's your friend, Hi, loot, thank you. Are you

431
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 1: talking about my my um hairy chest talking about your trap?

432
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 1: Excuse me? Let's talking about your trap? And when you

433
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 1: say trapped, just so I know what are you talking about? Oh,

434
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 1: and I'm like to get into it, but I'll take

435
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 1: a look for you. Oh, here's something I wish I

436
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 1: hadn't walked into it. It's like it's almost like, don't

437
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:48,200
Speaker 1: come on. That was really bad when you say things

438
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 1: like that. I just found a clue. What the hell's

439
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 1: going on here? Um? I took off my clothes and

440
00:29:54,360 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 1: it's Harry underneath. I'm scrawled myself from some goals and

441
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 1: this is my form. This is my form. Okay, I'm

442
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 1: fine with this great, that's awesome. Cool. You know those

443
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 1: kids from from the Convenience still down there? Yeah? You

444
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:25,400
Speaker 1: you forgot your dog? Oh oh god dog. What is

445
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 1: the kind of dog? It's like a like a brown

446
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 1: dog with spots. Yeah, it's uh we we have to

447
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 1: put it down. Yeah, yeah, all of them, all of

448
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 1: the appendages have gotten like gang green. So I have

449
00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 1: to be amputated or you just drown them in the wall.

450
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:53,400
Speaker 1: And that concludes mystery teens and erotic adventure. I don't

451
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:56,960
Speaker 1: know about you, but as a contemporary work, this is

452
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 1: impactful as well as highly highly stimulating. Thoughts um, I

453
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 1: have one in the back question in the back, yes,

454
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:13,840
Speaker 1: of course, question back uh, Mr Marshall, I love your work,

455
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 1: of course you do. And so that's not my question,

456
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:21,280
Speaker 1: and that's not a question. I just wanted you to

457
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 1: know it wasn't my question, and I wanted to know

458
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 1: what I'm listening. And I've read all your books, thank you,

459
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 1: and I think they're fantastic, of course, and that's not

460
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:34,920
Speaker 1: that's also not my question. That's not a question. So

461
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:37,280
Speaker 1: what I wanted to get to was taking a lot

462
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:38,960
Speaker 1: of time, and a lot of other people have questions

463
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:43,480
Speaker 1: to should I wait or should I just go ahead

464
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 1: your question? Yeah? So my question is uh three a

465
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 1: three partter. Actually the answer to all three of your

466
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 1: questions is sexual energy. Yeah, the next question please? Oh

467
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 1: that was my question? Oh where will? Then? I hope

468
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 1: you all enjoyed my I have a question. Yes, of course,

469
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 1: I love your work. I guess that was it. I guess,

470
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 1: Thank you very much. That as not a question. I

471
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 1: would just like to end this reading with group waltzing

472
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 1: Matilda wal Our third scene comes from Ian, who wrote,

473
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 1: Hello Alchemy Crewe, thank you all for the wonderful product

474
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 1: you've created. It has been many times I've received odd

475
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:46,840
Speaker 1: eyes from co workers or fellow students in the passing

476
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 1: hallway for truly laughing out loud. Your purgatory episode was

477
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 1: so goddamn funny. I had tears rolling down my cheeks.

478
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 1: I do have a scene suggestion based on one of

479
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 1: my three roommates. You see, all of us have at

480
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 1: least one pet, one chinchillas, one has a cat, and

481
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:04,040
Speaker 1: the other a parrot. I, on the other hand, have

482
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 1: quite a few exotic pets, bugs, reptiles, and amphibians that

483
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:11,000
Speaker 1: are a constant concern from my one roommate. He seems

484
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,280
Speaker 1: to believe that, by some stroke of all my pets

485
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 1: are going to team up and take out him in

486
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 1: his hell cat. Please make this happen. Maybe you could

487
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 1: get the thirty dollars he owes me for last month's

488
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 1: water bill too. I don't know. I'll leave it up

489
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 1: to the professionals. Super simple, guys, you got all right.

490
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 1: I'm being a terrific cast and crew hilarious individuals. You're

491
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:33,040
Speaker 1: truly audible, chocolate and true belly killers. Sincerely, I and

492
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 1: m ps. Keep your chin up, he need. Don't let

493
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:42,760
Speaker 1: them get you Downmoji, he's not even that's the first

494
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 1: suggestion I've heard that doesn't sound like it has any

495
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 1: girls in it. Yeah, well, let's see what we can do.

496
00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 1: But shut those animals off. No, shut the damn animals,

497
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 1: shut you shut. You're so freeing loud. Okay, I'll tell

498
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:06,080
Speaker 1: my animals to shut up. Just stop yelling right outside

499
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:10,800
Speaker 1: my door. Shut those animals up, Stephanie, Yes, do you

500
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:14,840
Speaker 1: want to kill your roommates? Okay, guys, animals listen up,

501
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 1: snake bug bile of dirt, guys, because we can do

502
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:23,439
Speaker 1: it if I want to do I know snake. Okay, guys,

503
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 1: this is crazy, and I know you asked me this

504
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:28,040
Speaker 1: every day to see if you want to kill my

505
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 1: roommates guy. Today today I'm saying yes. But yes, you

506
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,360
Speaker 1: guys just have to make sure that there's no effing

507
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 1: way this can get traced back to me. Okay, because

508
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:43,120
Speaker 1: I am in a doctoral program. I've got to be

509
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 1: honest with you. This is going to be hard not

510
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,360
Speaker 1: to trace it back to you if it's all of

511
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:56,440
Speaker 1: your pets. Will be careful, we will careful. Careful okay, parrot,

512
00:34:56,719 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 1: thank you, no problem, thank you? Okay, so be careful. Yes,

513
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:09,279
Speaker 1: don't Yeah, did my parent in your room? Don't say anything? Okay? Parent? Um? Monica, um,

514
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:13,880
Speaker 1: I do. It's in my effing room. Okay, why because

515
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 1: it flew in here because you're fucking weird stiffing room

516
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 1: please dollar in No, I'm not putting it down in

517
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:26,319
Speaker 1: dollar dollar up. You give me my parent that right off? Monica, Um,

518
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 1: please tell me that wasn't my parent that just told

519
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,399
Speaker 1: me to fuck write off. Well, you know it wasn't

520
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 1: me because I cannot do voices. I know that, Tiffanie,

521
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 1: what do you want to stick kill your simon? Lagree

522
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:43,120
Speaker 1: roommate Monica, Well, bring you her bones, guys. Stop. I

523
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 1: said I like bones once, and now you want to

524
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 1: bring me bones of all my David Moore what I

525
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:58,880
Speaker 1: cannot pay rent or and it feels this month? Okay,

526
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 1: that's not okay. And you can open the door to

527
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:04,320
Speaker 1: my room. You don't have to just yell right outside

528
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:07,840
Speaker 1: the door. Animals are so freaking loud. I can't listen

529
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 1: to him. He's worthless flesh. And look, my chim chillas

530
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:18,320
Speaker 1: are freaking out because you guys are so loud. Chill, hey, shirt,

531
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:20,840
Speaker 1: she's got my parents in there. Are you kidding me?

532
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 1: Can you get my parent out? Shart? Yeah? If I

533
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,880
Speaker 1: open the door, think you so loud? I can't. I

534
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:27,640
Speaker 1: don't want to open the door because there's the freak

535
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,720
Speaker 1: animals in there. They're not freak animals. They are freaking

536
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 1: freak animal And your doctoral program is not real? Oh

537
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,480
Speaker 1: my god, is it's not real? It is reel. You

538
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:40,080
Speaker 1: you're telling me that a doctoral program in how to

539
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,920
Speaker 1: cross the street. It's not to say, yeah, that is

540
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:48,960
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Oh my god, f you what can

541
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:53,400
Speaker 1: we kill? Shart and chills to our army? She's meat

542
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 1: they're all meat. Okay, guys, yes, I'm just saying, yes,

543
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 1: just make sure you don't get caught. Okay, promise not

544
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:10,879
Speaker 1: only am I and I get nervous. No, Okay, I will. Okay,

545
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:12,640
Speaker 1: it's in there. Okay, not only am I in a

546
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 1: doctoral program. But you guys also know that my dad

547
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:18,440
Speaker 1: is a cop. Okay, so if he gets winned of this,

548
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:22,400
Speaker 1: my ex partner, Yeah, my dad is your ex partner.

549
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 1: That's exactly right. When you had that television show McCaw

550
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:33,480
Speaker 1: on the Law. Okay, cut, okay, McCaw. Where's the cause handler, Monica? Yes,

551
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 1: your your parent here. I don't know if we're gonna

552
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 1: be I don't know if I can say it's front

553
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:39,080
Speaker 1: of the the animal. We're not gonna be able to

554
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 1: use the McCall anymore. What do you mean the mccau

555
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:43,680
Speaker 1: it's it's not handled. We're gonna go for a younger McCall.

556
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:50,880
Speaker 1: Please please, no police, no, please, no craft service, craft service.

557
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:55,680
Speaker 1: My parent, my parents killed the audition, crushing a scene

558
00:37:55,680 --> 00:38:00,600
Speaker 1: where I get I just moved in with the daughter

559
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 1: of the guy that's playing the corn this up. I'm sorry.

560
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,520
Speaker 1: We're gonna have to go for younger that's a hard fitten. Guys.

561
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 1: Wait was that on camera? What the hard? No? The

562
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 1: other part? Were you taping me? Well, I mean I

563
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 1: have a camera, craw phone me around? Yeah, what part

564
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 1: of what show? Is this? BTS? It's behind the scene?

565
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:25,799
Speaker 1: What does that mean? Behind the scene? What does that mean?

566
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 1: It's for a YouTube channel? What's YouTube? YouTube is a

567
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,080
Speaker 1: you're just kidding. I know what YouTube is? My parents

568
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 1: staying in the We're gonna have you in the New Pages,

569
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 1: New Pages trailer. He's hungry to work. I get that.

570
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:40,600
Speaker 1: Episodes as younger Macca. I don't know what to tell you,

571
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:44,759
Speaker 1: the young one cause being shipped down. I'm going to

572
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 1: meet him. You can't do that. You're not going to

573
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:50,400
Speaker 1: meet the younger. I'd love to meet you just as

574
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 1: a fan. I'm not going to kill it that right there.

575
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,440
Speaker 1: Good to see your baby. He could somebody give me

576
00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 1: a coffee. He's just in the building. Yeah. Can we

577
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 1: just clear out the old trailer police, I'm just making

578
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:15,160
Speaker 1: clear here. Good gott sign a conventions now, Hi, you

579
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 1: must be the old handler. I'm not old. You look

580
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:23,520
Speaker 1: really old. Sorry, that's why. Oh my god, really, I

581
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:27,239
Speaker 1: was going to guess sixty two Oh my god, why

582
00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 1: would you say that to me? I'm just so shocked.

583
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 1: I couldn't lie. I'm twenty years old. How old are you?

584
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:36,759
Speaker 1: Sixty two? I look right, you look really good. Thank you.

585
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:40,439
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess knowing that I feel less bad

586
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:42,800
Speaker 1: because you were thinking me as a contemporary and you

587
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,840
Speaker 1: look like really good thank you. Um but yes, I

588
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 1: am okay, anyway, nice to meet you. My Oh wait,

589
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:53,399
Speaker 1: you're a new handler. Yeah that's what I said. Oh.

590
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:55,560
Speaker 1: I wasn't listening. I was just looking at you. Thank you.

591
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 1: I can we get this old woman out of here.

592
00:39:57,239 --> 00:40:01,960
Speaker 1: I'm twenty years old? Yeah I did not know that. Well, yeah,

593
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:05,319
Speaker 1: you gotta go. We're not gonna look so old up.

594
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:10,000
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Hi, are you the original bird handler

595
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:13,560
Speaker 1: with the older bird that's no longer good anymore? Yeah? Yeah, okay,

596
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:14,920
Speaker 1: I just have a little bit of paperwork tree to

597
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,040
Speaker 1: finish up before we left you out. Huh how old

598
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 1: do you think? I'm sorry, can you speak up? How

599
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:23,359
Speaker 1: old do you think? I am? Ma'am, ma'am. I really

600
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 1: don't listen. I don't really have time for all this.

601
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:28,920
Speaker 1: I need you to fill out this paperwork so that

602
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 1: we can release you from the paperwork, claim zero, claim zero.

603
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 1: That's actually probably a good idea unless your bird is

604
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 1: a legal dependent. Yes, okay, well then maybe good Well

605
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:44,719
Speaker 1: it depends on your you know what again, I what

606
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:52,000
Speaker 1: it's a young but sure it is attractively monicam comes star.

607
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 1: We gotta break up? Why you can't? Not today, Tad,

608
00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:03,400
Speaker 1: not today. I'm sorry, I don't know what baby new. Look,

609
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 1: my band's gonna work out. Okay, just a smash mouth

610
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 1: is going to be something, all right? Anything? Whatever? You?

611
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:18,759
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I am so sorry. Hey now now, now,

612
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:22,840
Speaker 1: I just threw some rocks. I didn't mean anything to

613
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 1: hit you going for they alright, folks, no one's under arrest, alright.

614
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,400
Speaker 1: We're just here to figure out what happened in this

615
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:40,120
Speaker 1: domestic violence. Of you might be under one of you

616
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:42,840
Speaker 1: might be, thank you, Tony. One of you might be

617
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:47,319
Speaker 1: under arrest, depending on the story that we hear. Right now,

618
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 1: I asked you to please use Antonio. Excuse me, my

619
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:57,239
Speaker 1: my friend. Officer Antonio would like to know who made

620
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:02,399
Speaker 1: first contact here, who throw rocks in me? He threw

621
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:05,919
Speaker 1: a rocket? You do hit me? Do you have any

622
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:09,440
Speaker 1: of these rocks? Now? They're on the floor over here. Okay, Well,

623
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:13,879
Speaker 1: we're going to need those evidence. Antonio talking cheek. There's

624
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,279
Speaker 1: one stuck in your cheek. Man. We'll have to call

625
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 1: the A M T. S for that. This is an

626
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 1: emergency when you see an emergency medical situation requiring a technician.

627
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 1: All right, then we'll call them. I have a question,

628
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:30,120
Speaker 1: is it? Is it now? Okay? For because he does

629
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 1: seem newly available for your macaw to become my new

630
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:38,799
Speaker 1: police partner, providing he uses my full name. Yes, Antonio,

631
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:42,719
Speaker 1: you're with me, now McCall, let's do this. I just

632
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 1: got a new call. I gotta ride out empt meeting thing.

633
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:48,040
Speaker 1: Not a meeting, but we actually go going around. I

634
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:51,440
Speaker 1: don't know I call the meetings. Yeah, what's up? All right?

635
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:56,400
Speaker 1: I'm just what's up? You're so distant? Yeah, I just

636
00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:59,400
Speaker 1: had a Now what's up? Just what's up? I just

637
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:02,279
Speaker 1: took an what's up? I just took a nap and

638
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:03,879
Speaker 1: you woke me up in the middle of the nap.

639
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:11,360
Speaker 1: I don't want to go do what wow stuff? We

640
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 1: saved lives. I don't. She's saying, you go out there

641
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:18,640
Speaker 1: and you purposely kill people. Have you noticed how when

642
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:22,920
Speaker 1: we go out together every time I'm assigned to the

643
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,839
Speaker 1: person they die. Have you noticed that? And you never

644
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:28,200
Speaker 1: thought to think it was on purpose? I thought that

645
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 1: you don't notice anything about me? So why do you

646
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:33,879
Speaker 1: say anything? Wow, here we go, Here we go. Yeah,

647
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 1: we're gonna hold on that call. Yeah, so I don't

648
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 1: notice anything. Huh, you're wearing new shoes. Oh my god,

649
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 1: we definitely bring us the body. Okay, I'm trying. Don't

650
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:55,719
Speaker 1: look at my bag. It's not full of animals. Look

651
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:57,239
Speaker 1: if you tell me not looking at back full of

652
00:43:57,239 --> 00:43:59,319
Speaker 1: animals and dirt, and said, don't look at my bag,

653
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 1: it's not full animals. Do you want me to do that?

654
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:03,800
Speaker 1: I said, don't do it. I don't tell me different

655
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 1: things saying don't do it. I'm saying the same thing

656
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 1: every time. And I want to say thank you for

657
00:44:08,239 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 1: noticing my shoes, thank you for noticing my new eyes. Yes,

658
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:16,719
Speaker 1: I got two eyeball transplants. Great, thank you get minority report. Yes,

659
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:19,719
Speaker 1: it's exactly like minority report us to see into the

660
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:27,920
Speaker 1: due one from Monica and one from Shark. Yes, why

661
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:29,240
Speaker 1: do you wish? What do you tell me to shush?

662
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 1: For nothing? I'm I'm not talking to my bag, Okay,

663
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 1: macaul Antonio. Great, this is gonna be good. You two

664
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:43,799
Speaker 1: have finally done it. You got the mayor straight up

665
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:49,000
Speaker 1: Marquist with your shenanigans. Do you have any respect for

666
00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 1: the civilian life in this city, sir? We have respect

667
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:56,920
Speaker 1: for the civilian lives in the city, of course we do.

668
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:59,399
Speaker 1: But you know, sometimes a car chase just gets uh

669
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 1: out of our hands. Let me out here, McAll you

670
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 1: know what I mean, doing our best, doing our best?

671
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:09,279
Speaker 1: Ye flew up the mayor's water Trump, how do you

672
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:12,399
Speaker 1: blow up a water truck? Water truck in a drought?

673
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:15,239
Speaker 1: Seems suspicious to me. Don't give me any of your

674
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,399
Speaker 1: beat McCall and tontyo, what this is on you? How's

675
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 1: it on me? You're the superior officer here between you

676
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 1: and I. That's clear. Listen you to one more slip up,

677
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:36,080
Speaker 1: one more casually questionably racistrom mark one public property damage.

678
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 1: She's having heart attacks? Shot off. Oh god, God, chief's

679
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:48,000
Speaker 1: calling mt. We got another call. Oh, let's police headquarters.

680
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:53,600
Speaker 1: Hold on, what's that? What's that right there? What? Nothing?

681
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 1: What's going on? Nothing's going on? I said, Oh, the

682
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:59,920
Speaker 1: snake on me? Oh, there's a same on me? Bit me.

683
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:08,080
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's a purple ribbon. It's a purple

684
00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:10,799
Speaker 1: ribbon snake. It's a purple ribbon snake. Watch the night

685
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:15,920
Speaker 1: fade from his eye. The dirt in yours. There's so

686
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 1: much good job dirt going on. My animals are killing you.

687
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:24,439
Speaker 1: That's right. I have an animal that's just a pile

688
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:28,359
Speaker 1: of dirt. God, oh my god, there's so many good

689
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:30,959
Speaker 1: Oh great, find if your ambulance is here, they're pulling

690
00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:38,000
Speaker 1: up right now. Ye um, what's the problem. He's having

691
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:41,640
Speaker 1: a heart attack. The mayor is having a heart attack. Okay,

692
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 1: I want you to close your eyes. Close your eyes. Okay,

693
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:46,880
Speaker 1: do not open that. I don't know how medically this

694
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,960
Speaker 1: is going to help it. Okay, it will help snake dirt,

695
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:54,719
Speaker 1: other animals getting this dying guy. Oh hey, McCaw, what

696
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:59,480
Speaker 1: are you doing here? On duty, on duty, on the

697
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:07,719
Speaker 1: new job. Anyway, your skin breathe life bathto him. Yes,

698
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:11,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have so many more bones after this. Dirt's

699
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 1: wearing wires, wearing a wire, dirt a bit going going

700
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:27,960
Speaker 1: now now now, now, it was like, team, are you on?

701
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:35,480
Speaker 1: You gotta pick a side into deep into Deepika Pika.

702
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:39,360
Speaker 1: So you're literally standing in the middle of this standoff?

703
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:41,920
Speaker 1: Are you my partner or you with this girl with

704
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:48,240
Speaker 1: the murder animals? And that concludes my screenplay, Erotic Adventures

705
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 1: of Murdering Animals. Questions. I thought it was very bad. Yeah,

706
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:55,120
Speaker 1: I don't really have a question. I have a three

707
00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:59,839
Speaker 1: parter um. First of all, I loved it. I don't

708
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 1: remember the second and third parts aren't really a question.

709
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:07,520
Speaker 1: It's not a question. I have a question. Um what what?

710
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:10,240
Speaker 1: What part of that story was supposed to be erotic?

711
00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:18,680
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm just sexy to animals. It sexy to

712
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:23,000
Speaker 1: animals sort of does change things? Can I make? Can

713
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:39,239
Speaker 1: I make a suggestion? Okay, that's all right, that's our

714
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:42,719
Speaker 1: show for today. Let's go around and say goodbye. Thank

715
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 1: your alchemist Caroline got her? Thank you? Sure? Oh? Um, No,

716
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:56,720
Speaker 1: I need someone to teach me how to park parallel parking.

717
00:48:57,120 --> 00:49:00,759
Speaker 1: That's what I'm plugging, all right? If somebody stood up

718
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:11,400
Speaker 1: for it, Vanessa Raglan fine, Um, yes, absolutely, all the

719
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:17,319
Speaker 1: pleasure was mine. Usually outros, Aren't this difficult? I feel

720
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:19,279
Speaker 1: like you're just coming at us with our names, and

721
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:22,319
Speaker 1: then what do we do meet there? I mean, it's

722
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:25,239
Speaker 1: just like sixty or seventy episodes in I think you

723
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:27,680
Speaker 1: kind of have an idea of what happens next, but

724
00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:32,040
Speaker 1: maybe Brad Norman knows it might but I'm not telling.

725
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:34,680
Speaker 1: It's been really awesome being here. I'm the voice of

726
00:49:34,719 --> 00:49:37,480
Speaker 1: Bowlinkol on the Adventures of Rocky and Bowlinkl on Amazon

727
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:44,000
Speaker 1: prem Uh, and I'm Erica on social MEDIAA how do

728
00:49:45,719 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 1: Mark Gagliardi last Wednesday of the month at Dynasty Typewriter

729
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:53,560
Speaker 1: with wort use improv Yeah, and uh every Blood and

730
00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:57,839
Speaker 1: Treasure Tuesdays at ten on CBS. Nice Joey Greer had

731
00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:05,239
Speaker 1: a great time. That's more like, uh, and don't you

732
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:09,400
Speaker 1: do another podcast? Or aren't you want anything? No fun? Whatever?

733
00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:11,279
Speaker 1: Then what's about the d D thing? That's just like

734
00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:15,880
Speaker 1: you guys just hanging out? Well, I want to I

735
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:18,640
Speaker 1: want to, I wanted the game. I need to learn

736
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 1: how to drive. So if you apart, I think you

737
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:26,000
Speaker 1: can wrap it up this play out. You also catch

738
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 1: Pretty Pretty Pony, which has a lot of us in

739
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:31,480
Speaker 1: it first Thursday of every month at ten pm at

740
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:33,840
Speaker 1: the Westside Comedy Theater and Santa Monica save for this

741
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:35,719
Speaker 1: July because it would be July four. So this is

742
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:38,440
Speaker 1: probably out after that anyways, But yeah, check that out.

743
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:40,960
Speaker 1: I'm at Stratton Cole on Instagram, at cold Stratton on

744
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:44,960
Speaker 1: other social stuff. Let's also thank our engineer Doug Baye,

745
00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:52,400
Speaker 1: our post sound design artist Raphael Burrito, our producer Sophie Lichterman,

746
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 1: and of course I Heart Mediating for that. I agreed

747
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:01,279
Speaker 1: to you all the write a review, tell everyone you've

748
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:03,520
Speaker 1: ever met about the podcast, and write to us at

749
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:06,839
Speaker 1: your name here at alchemy this dot com. That's your

750
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:10,279
Speaker 1: name here at alchemy this dot com. Until next time,

751
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:11,560
Speaker 1: Alchemy