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Speaker 1: all right, let's do it. Good luck everybody. Time now

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Speaker 1: for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need advice relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM

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Speaker 1: dot com. That's STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: We could be reading your letter live on the air,

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Speaker 1: just like we're going to read this one right here,

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Speaker 1: right now, and you never know, it could be yours.

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Speaker 3: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 3: We got it for you here it is strawberry.

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Speaker 1: Let us thank you, nep you subject. Why is he

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Speaker 1: trying to finesse my fineness? Dear Stephen Shirley, I've met

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Speaker 1: a man that is controlling, but I like him a lot.

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Speaker 1: He has some great characteristics that would make him a

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Speaker 1: good husband. He's thirty eight and I'm thirty seven. He

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Speaker 1: checks off all the boxes as far as having a

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Speaker 1: promising career, his own house, and he has a big,

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Speaker 1: loving family. He is a personal stylist for an upscale store,

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Speaker 1: and he has several private female clients. He said he

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Speaker 1: loved my style when we met, and he inspired me

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Speaker 1: to get my haircut and get some highlights. The only

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Speaker 1: problem I'm having with him now is that he's treating

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Speaker 1: me like I'm one of his clients. And it's like

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Speaker 1: he's memorized my entire closet to the point where he

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Speaker 1: tells me what he'd like for me to wear when

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Speaker 1: we go out. He'll suggest that I wear yellow if

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Speaker 1: he is wearing yellow, and he'll say what shoes I

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Speaker 1: should wear with the outfit. If I don't take his suggestions,

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Speaker 1: he comments on my choices when.

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Speaker 2: He picks me up.

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Speaker 1: It's annoying, and I've told him politely that I'm not

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Speaker 1: one of his clients. Then there's the problems we have

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Speaker 1: at the gym that's where we met after he came

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Speaker 1: over and corrected me on using a machine improperly. Now

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Speaker 1: he makes comments on what exercises I should do to

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Speaker 1: get the body type that he desires. I told this

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Speaker 1: boy I was fine when he met me, and I

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Speaker 1: don't need him to finesse my fineness that goes for

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Speaker 1: in the gym and in my closet. It would be

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Speaker 1: a shame if the table's turned and I start directing

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Speaker 1: him in the bedroom and telling him what kind of

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Speaker 1: loving that I desire. I am starting to think he

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Speaker 1: sees me as one of his projects that he wants

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Speaker 1: to make perfect.

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Speaker 2: I'm my own person.

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Speaker 1: And I want to continue to get to know him,

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Speaker 1: but he needs to relax on all of his unwanted opinions.

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Speaker 1: Is this a character flaw? Should we break up or

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Speaker 1: can this be fixed?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I think he needs to get him some business. You're

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Speaker 1: definitely not his project or his client. He needs some kids,

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Speaker 1: he needs a pet or something like that. If he

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Speaker 1: wants to tell people what to do and what to

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Speaker 1: wear and how to work out of the gym, you're

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Speaker 1: a grown woman. And he is controlling and who he is,

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Speaker 1: that's who he is.

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Speaker 2: This is who he is.

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Speaker 1: He wants you to work out a certain way so

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Speaker 1: you can get the body he desires.

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Speaker 2: What about the body you're already.

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Speaker 1: In the gym. He's just too much. You said you're

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Speaker 1: your own person. I hope you don't budge on this.

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Speaker 1: Remind him again who you are and that you were

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Speaker 1: already fine. And that's why he hollered at you in

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Speaker 1: the first place in the gym. Remember that. Tell him

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Speaker 1: you know how to dress already. You say you like him,

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Speaker 1: you want to continue to get to know him, but

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Speaker 1: please don't be fooled. I mean, this is what you're

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Speaker 1: gonna get. You're gonna get a controlling man who thinks

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Speaker 1: he can boss you around. If you don't want a

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Speaker 1: controlling man, this man is not the one for you.

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Speaker 1: The first line in your letter was that he is controlling.

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Speaker 1: The last line is can it be fixed? It doesn't

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Speaker 1: sound like it can be fixed, because that's how he is,

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Speaker 1: like I said, But it depends on whether he wants

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Speaker 1: to be fixed or not, or he understands that what

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Speaker 1: he's doing is not cool, it's annoying you. And it

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Speaker 1: depends on if he cares that this is a major

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Speaker 1: problem for you. One thing's for sure is he can

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Speaker 1: only do this to you as long as you let him,

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Speaker 1: or until you leave him.

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Speaker 3: Steve, it's a good letter.

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Speaker 2: It is.

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Speaker 3: It is, you know, well, it is really a good letter.

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Speaker 2: So I'm try, please try, Steve.

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Speaker 3: You know, you know what.

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Speaker 4: They call in for help, But sometimes I just, you know,

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Speaker 4: some days I just don't feel like helping nobody.

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Speaker 1: But she does need help because he's on her nervous

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Speaker 1: with all of this, and that.

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Speaker 4: Today ain't a real help for day for me will

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Speaker 4: help her, you know, I need help, my damn sir.

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Speaker 4: I don't see nobody talking about Steve needything was wrong Steve.

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Speaker 3: She's a metal woman. Oh that's right here.

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Speaker 4: I call he met a man that's controlling, but she

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Speaker 4: likes him a lot. He's got a lot of great characteristics.

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Speaker 4: He's thirty eight, you thirty seven. Check off all the boxes,

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Speaker 4: got a promising career, got his own house, got a big,

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Speaker 4: loving family. He's a personal stylist for an upscale store,

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Speaker 4: and he's got a lot of female clients. So now

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Speaker 4: he's talked to you about your hand and kind of

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Speaker 4: made you change it. The thing that's happening, though, is

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Speaker 4: kind of lonely problem you haven't you say. He can

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Speaker 4: kind of memorize your whole closet. So when y'all go out,

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Speaker 4: if he wearing yellow, he'll call and tell you to

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Speaker 4: wear yeller and tell you what shoes wear. But then

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Speaker 4: if you get if you don't want to wear that,

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Speaker 4: which what shoes wear should be a feeling, you know.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes you know, I got a stylist, he pick a

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Speaker 4: lot of stuff out.

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Speaker 3: I go, I ain't winning it now.

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Speaker 4: I throw his little last into suthing, you know, because

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Speaker 4: all them they fragile. I throw his a little last

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Speaker 4: into something. But you're just gonna be a little broken

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Speaker 4: ass boy today.

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Speaker 3: As far as I'm concerned, because I'm not worried. How

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Speaker 3: about that, Well.

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Speaker 4: I just wanted to share with you that that's what

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Speaker 4: happens here when you deal with these people.

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Speaker 3: That I'll tell you how to cope it.

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Speaker 1: Well, thank you for giving her some help. We'll have

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Speaker 1: part two of your response Steve coming up at twenty

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Speaker 1: three minutes after the hour. Today's strawberry letter, subject why

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Speaker 1: is he trying to finesse my fineness? We'll get back

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Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 1: All right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's strawberry letter,

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Speaker 1: the subject why is he trying to the next my fineness?

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Speaker 4: Well, she'd have met this guy the Dayton. He's thirty

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Speaker 4: and she served seven. He checks off all the blocks

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Speaker 4: he's controlling. But she likes the man a lot, got

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Speaker 4: his own house, got his own business, got a great career,

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Speaker 4: great family. He's a stylist at an upscale store. He's

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Speaker 4: got several female clients. He's convinced her to change her

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Speaker 4: hair a little bit. She kind of like a little.

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Speaker 3: Bit of advice.

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Speaker 4: But he's the problem is he just start memorizing her

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Speaker 4: whole wardrobe now, and like, if he's gonna wear yellow,

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Speaker 4: he'll tell her to wear yellow. And when she don't

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Speaker 4: want to wear that, which will what you're wearing should

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Speaker 4: be a feeling that day She'll come out in something else,

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Speaker 4: and then he'll be picking on her choices. He'll be

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Speaker 4: commenting on her choices. And you know, and you've been

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Speaker 4: annoyed by this, and you've politely told him I'm not

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Speaker 4: one of your clients. And then y'all got another problem

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Speaker 4: because y'all at the gym. Now the way y'all met

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Speaker 4: at the gym where you were using the machining correctly,

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Speaker 4: he came over and corrected. Now every time y'all go

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Speaker 4: to the gym, he telling you what machine to use

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Speaker 4: so you can sculpt the body that he wants.

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Speaker 3: He want. Now, is he taking it too far? Of

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Speaker 3: course he is.

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Speaker 4: And then you told him that when you met at him,

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Speaker 4: he met you, you was fine and you don't need

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Speaker 4: him to finesse your fineness.

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Speaker 3: I like put that system, yes.

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Speaker 4: And that goes for in the gym and then my closet.

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Speaker 4: Then you thought about, well, I could hurt him if

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Speaker 4: I started giving him instructions on how I wanted to

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Speaker 4: be loved in the bedroom. See, now you're gonna sting

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Speaker 4: his ass. You're gonna sting it. Well, you know since

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Speaker 4: we passed out instruction all that. Who how high you

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Speaker 4: think you doing?

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Speaker 2: It?

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Speaker 3: Ain't really all that?

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Speaker 4: Who who? How?

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Speaker 3: You know you need to change some things?

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Speaker 4: And she says, I think he sees me is one

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Speaker 4: of his projects he wants to make perfectly.

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Speaker 3: I'm my own person.

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Speaker 4: I want to continue to get to know him, but

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Speaker 4: he needs to relax on all his unwanted opinions. Is

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Speaker 4: this a character flaws? Should we break up? Or can

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Speaker 4: can this be fixed? This can be fixed. He's probably

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Speaker 4: a great die. He doesn't even realize he's being annoying.

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Speaker 4: He has a job where people pay him for his opinion,

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Speaker 4: but he brings the job home. That's the problem. He

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Speaker 4: brings the job home. And so now he's treating you,

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Speaker 4: like you say, as a client, and you don't want that.

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Speaker 4: You want a relationship with the man. You don't want

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Speaker 4: a client subordinate relationship. You don't want Tom I'm paying

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Speaker 4: for your services. No, I want to have relationship. So

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Speaker 4: you got to sit him down and have this conversation,

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Speaker 4: and the conversation should have those talking points in it.

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Speaker 4: I just feel like nothing I do is good ano

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Speaker 4: for you. I know you are paid to give your

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Speaker 4: opinion and to style people, but sometimes I just want

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Speaker 4: to wear what I want to wear. Now if you're

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Speaker 4: unhappy with the way I dress, then maybe you need

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Speaker 4: to start seeing somebody else. Because of wearing exactly what

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Speaker 4: you want me to wear a premium importance to you,

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Speaker 4: and you're going to be unhappy with my own selections.

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Speaker 4: I think we should part ways now. I don't want

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Speaker 4: to do this because I think you're a great guy.

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Speaker 4: But I also think that this can work out if

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Speaker 4: you would just allow me to be me and you

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Speaker 4: accept me for me. Now, if I ask your opinion,

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Speaker 4: I would love to hear what you have to say.

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Speaker 4: But if I don't ask it, then I'm very happy

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Speaker 4: with the selection I made, and I would like you

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Speaker 4: to compliment me on it. And this is where he

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Speaker 4: got to put his big boy pants on. How many times, Felas,

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Speaker 4: do you have to tell your girl she look good

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Speaker 4: and something when she don't? All she just don't all

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Speaker 4: the time, and we do it all the damn time.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, you like it? I love it? I love your paper.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah that's beautiful. Yeah, you look you look crazy.

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Speaker 2: It's makes me look just.

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Speaker 4: Looking just smack check asked crazy. Hell yeah, look you

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Speaker 4: make you you said before you put your dress on.

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Speaker 2: You better not say it though?

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Speaker 1: No, Hm, anybody won't do over these three guys, y'all

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Speaker 1: do what y'all say it all the time.

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Speaker 3: Maybe look good.

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Speaker 4: I don't say none wrong, My baby look good, nothing wrong.

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Speaker 1: That's very smart of you, very good looking, all three

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Speaker 1: of them very good.

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Speaker 2: I'm on newly wed. What you got newly?

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Speaker 3: I said?

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Speaker 2: I said the same thing times I said, you look good, baby?

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Speaker 3: What you put on? I said all the time, look good?

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Speaker 3: Now the person over there with a microphone and it doesn't.

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Speaker 2: And what stee?

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Speaker 3: Do I look fat in this?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 3: No, no, you don't look fatty.

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Speaker 2: But what are you saying to yourself though under your breath?

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Speaker 3: Or you want the truth?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? You look fat with your dress, you look fat

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Speaker 4: in your pennies. My god, but my kind of fat.

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Speaker 4: And this is the fat I like, Oh baby, that's beautiful.

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Speaker 3: But on the.

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Speaker 4: Inside, I know that's my kind of fat anyway, So

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Speaker 4: I like, you know you have to be honest, but

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Speaker 4: you have to be not honest in order to keep

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Speaker 4: the relationship. I want you, Yeah, you have to.

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Speaker 3: You can't tell the truth, baby, baby? Do you like

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Speaker 3: my hair?

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Speaker 1: What?

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Speaker 4: Hell?

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Speaker 3: Which one you're talking about? Yours are the one you bought?

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Speaker 3: What you need which hell you want me to like?

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Speaker 3: I have a question.

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Speaker 4: Oh you want me to like the whole hairstyle, then

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Speaker 4: it's cool. But if you're asking me if I like

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Speaker 4: the head of yours or the one in the bag,

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Speaker 4: I haven't really decided.

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Speaker 1: What's your comments on today's Strawberry Letter and Steve you.

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Speaker 3: Can hide them blue marks. I know that on.

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Speaker 1: Instagram, Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on

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Speaker 1: the free iHeartRadio app.

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Speaker 2: You can download it right now.

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Speaker 3: The tracks for showing coming.

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Speaker 1: Up in forty six minutes after the hour, we got

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Speaker 1: Junior here with Sports Talk.

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Speaker 2: Right after this, you're listening Harvey Morning Show