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Speaker 1: Lonesome Love.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back, everybody to another episode of Wide Open. I

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Speaker 2: am your host, Ashlyn Harris, and I am so excited

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Speaker 2: to be joined this week by our guest, Alison Stoner.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the show, my love. You are an all

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Speaker 2: around entertainer, dancer, actor, singer, you name it. Much of

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Speaker 2: your audience should know you by camp Rock, Cheaper by

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Speaker 2: the dozen, and nowadays, most importantly, you advocate so much

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Speaker 2: for mental health, which is near and dear to my heart.

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Speaker 2: So thank you. And you have a podcast or did

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Speaker 2: dear Hollywood, and now your new memoir, your book launch

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Speaker 2: just came out semi well adjusted despite literally everything. Allison,

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Speaker 2: welcome to the show.

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Speaker 3: Thanks for having me, Yes, horrors, how are you? I

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Speaker 3: am hanging in there? How about yourself?

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Speaker 2: Well? Every day I wake up and I'm alive. It's

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Speaker 2: a gift, especially in this political climate. I'm like, how

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Speaker 2: are we getting through?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 2: How we're getting through by showing up and doing exactly

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Speaker 2: what we're doing now and sharing space with each other.

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Speaker 1: I was gonna say that anytime I get to go

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Speaker 1: on a queer podcast, I'm like, great, it's gonna be

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Speaker 1: a good day, my fucking people.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like the best. It's gonna be a highlight.

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Speaker 2: I always that's what I always say. I'm like, just

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Speaker 2: give me more of my people so I feel safe.

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Speaker 3: Okay, thank you. It's real. It really is real.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, tell me what's going on. You have this new

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Speaker 2: book coming out that's really peeling back all the layers.

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Speaker 3: Let's just say that.

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Speaker 1: Yes, So I wanted to play on the concept of

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Speaker 1: being the quote unquote well adjusted one, because, first of all,

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Speaker 1: what does it mean to be well adjusted in a

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Speaker 1: disc functional society? Does that mean that you are adhering

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Speaker 1: to the dysfunction and thriving in it, or you know, like.

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Speaker 3: That's something we will unpack.

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Speaker 1: But it follows my some would call it an unconventional

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Speaker 1: life path of being a former kid actor, kid performer

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Speaker 1: turned mental health practitioner. And not only am I spilling yes,

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Speaker 1: all of the details from sets like Camp Rock and

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Speaker 1: Cheaper by the Dozen and unpacking the hidden impact of

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Speaker 1: working so much at such a young age, but I

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Speaker 1: also wanted to explore these cultural myths that a lot

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Speaker 1: of us, I mean, that are embedded in society. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and so I'm unpacking a lot. I think if people

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Speaker 1: are showing up thinking it's just a child star memoir,

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Speaker 1: you better buckle up and read with care because it

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Speaker 1: goes to a lot of intense pleas with.

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Speaker 2: That, and I think this is important, and I think

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Speaker 2: you have to be in such a good place in

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Speaker 2: your life to really unpack the trauma and the journey

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Speaker 2: you walked as a very very young kid. And you know,

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Speaker 2: I've I've known about you for so long and mostly

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Speaker 2: from the Missy Elliott music videos. I mean, you are

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Speaker 2: an incredible performer. Thank you, And I mean I know

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Speaker 2: when we all started watching that and seeing that it

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Speaker 2: probably changed your life.

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Speaker 3: I mean, how old were you.

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Speaker 1: I must have been around eight or nine, and it

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Speaker 1: was an overnight shift and you won't ever be able

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Speaker 1: to quantify every detail, but I do. I do actually

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Speaker 1: talk about not only the audition process, but what it

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Speaker 1: was like after the video was released and how I

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Speaker 1: had this psychological shift and suddenly my even my just

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Speaker 1: biological development was very disrupted. My identity formation went from

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Speaker 1: You're an anonymous kid on a playground to you need

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Speaker 1: to be on at all times, including at the grocery store,

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Speaker 1: including at school, including you know, at the doctor's office,

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Speaker 1: because even though you're here sick in coughing, someone needs

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Speaker 1: to just you know, have you sign an autograph on

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Speaker 1: the diabetes pamphlet over in the corner, you know. And

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Speaker 1: also different things like the unchecked access that people have

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Speaker 1: not only into your personal space and your private life

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Speaker 1: via media, but also your literal physical body. Being touched

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Speaker 1: by strangers became commonplace, right, so like bye bye stranger danger,

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Speaker 1: which you're maybe taught as a kid, Like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I learned instead to study human behavior in a way

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Speaker 1: where I could tell before you even got to me,

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Speaker 1: I would already know. Have your hands been in your pocket,

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Speaker 1: which may indicate that you're either carrying a weapon that

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Speaker 1: you might maybe try to use on me, Are your

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Speaker 1: hands shaking.

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Speaker 3: Out of nerves?

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Speaker 1: Are you in a certain you know, demographic, like an

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Speaker 1: age demographic. Typically teens are a little bit more vocal.

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Speaker 1: And so if you're in a public place and you

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Speaker 1: don't want to start having like a mob circling you,

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Speaker 1: you learn how to like do all of these, you know,

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Speaker 1: the mental gymnastics of it all.

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Speaker 3: But you're a gig But I'm a.

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Speaker 2: Baby, Yeah so much. And this is the thing, and

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Speaker 2: we talk about this all the time. The difference between

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Speaker 2: like fame and fortune, you know, and most people move

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Speaker 2: here for that dream, that dream that happened to you

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Speaker 2: so early. But what they don't understand is at what costs?

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Speaker 2: Because everything was stripped from you at an early age.

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Speaker 1: Right, I also personally didn't desire fame or fortune. I

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Speaker 1: was three years old when I started performing. I didn't

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Speaker 1: have a map of reality yet, so whatever was presented

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Speaker 1: to me. However, we're conditioned whatever the norms are around

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Speaker 1: us become our reference point. And so it's I think

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Speaker 1: very common for folks who started as performers to stay

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Speaker 1: in that kind of persona for you know, a long

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Speaker 1: period of their lives unless you have some kind of

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Speaker 1: event that you know, catalyzes a shift. And I've had

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Speaker 1: a few, and I'm so grateful for them, because maybe

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't have started deconstructing all of these influences, and

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Speaker 1: maybe I wouldn't be able to have this kind of honest,

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Speaker 1: easygoing conversation.

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Speaker 2: Well, what I love about what you have done is

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Speaker 2: you didn't let your journey in terms of your pain,

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Speaker 2: take you. You've turned it into your superpower. And I

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Speaker 2: think that is taking back the strength of what happened

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Speaker 2: at such an early age that was so in a

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Speaker 2: stripped from you. I don't think people know the toll

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Speaker 2: it takes on a young child's development, and you're right,

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Speaker 2: they just don't know. Like you didn't know what you

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Speaker 2: didn't know, you trusted the people around you. So I

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Speaker 2: really want to dive into that, because when did this start,

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Speaker 2: How did it start? What was this like, uh huh,

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Speaker 2: We're going to pick this family up, We're going to

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Speaker 2: move to Hollywood.

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Speaker 1: Wild It gets wilder and wilder as I get older,

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Speaker 1: especially when my nephews become the age that I was

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Speaker 1: when I was performing excuse me, globally around the world.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, no, we have to revisit this, and

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Speaker 1: we need to reprocess.

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Speaker 2: Because we normalize it.

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Speaker 1: Yes, you normalize a lot of things that could stand

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Speaker 1: to be reimagined. So I'm originally from Ohio. I was

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Speaker 1: in dance at three years old. By six, I went

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Speaker 1: to a convention in New York and I didn't realize

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Speaker 1: that it was a talent recruitment center. I thought it

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Speaker 1: was similar to our other dance conventions.

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Speaker 2: You go, you.

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Speaker 1: Compete, maybe you won an award, but you meet other

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Speaker 1: kids your age, You go home, you go back to

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Speaker 1: school instead. I received I think it was sixteen or

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Speaker 1: seventeen callbacks from talent scouts who insisted that we fly

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Speaker 1: to Los Angeles. I had again no idea that this

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Speaker 1: is all a part of an ecosystem which I now

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Speaker 1: call the toddler to train wreck pipeline, where that is

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Speaker 1: spot on, but it is very cleverly manufactured from start

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Speaker 1: to finish. So you've got children who don't know that

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Speaker 1: they're being placed on this conveyor belt of sorts, and

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Speaker 1: you've got parents who maybe mean well, they just want

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Speaker 1: to support their children, they want to help nurture their talent,

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Speaker 1: or maybe they have stars in their eyes, can be

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Speaker 1: a lot of different things. But had you have this

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Speaker 1: ecosystem of agents, managers, acting schools, so then you're on set,

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Speaker 1: and of course we can get into what that's really like.

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Speaker 1: But I want to skip forward because I think a

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Speaker 1: lot of the general public or audiences at home, become

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Speaker 1: aware of the child star's journey at the point of

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Speaker 1: their breakdown, and it usually is accompanied by some kind

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Speaker 1: of rebellion, reckless behavior, mental health challenge, and it's or

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Speaker 1: maybe they're going against their brand, and that is actually

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Speaker 1: a manufactured narrative sometimes real behaviors, real struggles, yes, but

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Speaker 1: the way it's framed to the public leads us as

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Speaker 1: an audience to have very little empathy for these young people. Instead,

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Speaker 1: we're often like, Okay, go take your million, multi million

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Speaker 1: dollar car and mansion somewhere else. And in the book,

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Speaker 1: I'm hoping to actually unpack what it really looks like

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Speaker 1: from the inside out when you're living, you know, a

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Speaker 1: life that has eighty hour work weeks, when you're on

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Speaker 1: a set and you didn't realize that all of these

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Speaker 1: adults shouldn't be touching your body when they're doing a

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Speaker 1: lot of things that you can read about in the book,

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Speaker 1: And like you said, a lot of these things are normalized,

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Speaker 1: but people never see that part of it. They see

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Speaker 1: a veneer, they see the glamour that's not that's so

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Speaker 1: that's such a small percentage of what the experience actually is.

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Speaker 2: And I relate that. I relate to that so much. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's like, you know, you see the championships and the

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Speaker 2: gold medals and you have no idea what the journey

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Speaker 2: was like and what it costs and the sacrifice and

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Speaker 2: the mental toll and choosing every day to get up

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Speaker 2: and do it all over again, and it's madness. And

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Speaker 2: you're really taught to be a machine. You're taught like

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Speaker 2: I'm providing this talent for the people, and like this,

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Speaker 2: this is my gift to the world, and like I

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Speaker 2: have to do it.

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Speaker 1: It's your mission, it's your purpose, it's your significance, it's your.

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Speaker 2: Servant chosen one, right, right.

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Speaker 1: Which is such an interesting thing if you pull back

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Speaker 1: and study the cultural significance of the child prodigy or

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Speaker 1: the child star, there are a lot of projections, you know,

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Speaker 1: on the child, like American exceptionalism, individualism in terms of

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Speaker 1: like genius, you know, you are special, you are unique.

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Speaker 1: And again if we're I'm not saying that I actually

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Speaker 1: believed that because I think I'm better than anyone. No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm saying I was terrified if I didn't live up

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Speaker 1: to that that I would be done, you know.

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Speaker 3: And so it's it's.

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Speaker 1: A lot of different psychological plays that a child is,

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Speaker 1: you know, experiencing. And then when something goes wrong, maybe

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Speaker 1: you get injured on the field, and you're like, wait

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Speaker 1: a second, that's my livelihood, not only my livelihood, but

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Speaker 1: that's my you know.

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Speaker 3: Ticket to everything.

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Speaker 1: Revolves around this, your social network, your family dynamic, your

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Speaker 1: professional opportunities in future, your sense of identity and purpose.

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Speaker 1: And so for me, you know, my my health took

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Speaker 1: a toll. And it wasn't just like oh I'm burned

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Speaker 1: out and I'm fatigued. It was like, oh, I'm dropping

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Speaker 1: loads of weight, my skin is sallow, my eyes are

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Speaker 1: sunken in.

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Speaker 3: You know, I'm I have these.

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Speaker 1: Jitters, I have these stress seizures.

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Speaker 3: What am I going to do?

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Speaker 1: Do?

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Speaker 2: I do?

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Speaker 3: I keep do, I keep.

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Speaker 2: Going, pushing through, which is what we tell each other, right,

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Speaker 2: We're only the strongest survive. And it makes you push

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Speaker 2: all that down and you keep performing until like at

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Speaker 2: what costs? And you did hit that breaking point I did,

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Speaker 2: and the bravery it took reading your story and I

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Speaker 2: would love for you to elaborate because I don't know

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Speaker 2: if our audience knows exactly, but you literally were like

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Speaker 2: I have I need to get help, Like you had

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Speaker 2: to be whole and you had to be human, and

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Speaker 2: in doing so you had to be honest and brave.

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Speaker 1: Well, when you say had to be whole and had

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Speaker 1: to be human, I didn't know that I was going

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Speaker 1: into treatment for those reasons, yet I thought I was

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Speaker 1: going in solely to get my health on track so

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Speaker 1: that I.

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Speaker 2: Could keep performing. Wow.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, those realizations would come later. But I was thinking, oh,

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Speaker 1: if I need longevity with my career, and you know,

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Speaker 1: there's this thing that happens when kid stars get to

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Speaker 1: seventeen and eighteen and we go, uh, oh, we're either

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Speaker 1: going to expire or we're going to break through and

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Speaker 1: we'll have a career as adults. And so I hadn't

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Speaker 1: yet had my quote unquote you know, breakthrough role, and

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Speaker 1: so I was trying to strategically think about the fact

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Speaker 1: that I was seventeen, my body was shutting down by eighteen,

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Speaker 1: I need to have some kind of what people would

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Speaker 1: call a comeback, as if all of us aren't working

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Speaker 1: the whole time exactly like we're just booking jobs that

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Speaker 1: you don't see it.

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Speaker 3: Because we were working and doesn't stop.

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Speaker 1: But I, you know, decided, Okay, I'll go into treatment,

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Speaker 1: I'll get better, then i'll return. My team will see

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Speaker 1: that I'm I'm ready to go, and we can find

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Speaker 1: the breakthrough role and I can keep bulldozing my way forward.

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Speaker 1: And instead what happened was, I, you know, after being

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Speaker 1: on practical bed rest for multiple months, and then going

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Speaker 1: through these really intense therapeutic sessions and the programming that

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Speaker 1: happens at different in patient facilities, This one, in particulars

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Speaker 1: for treating eating disorders. I had these wonderful profession andoals

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Speaker 1: who provided the first stable environment I had ever had

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Speaker 1: for one because we had a routine, and also it

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Speaker 1: was the first time I wasn't working every day, so

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Speaker 1: that was both terrifying and necessary for healing because everything

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Speaker 1: that had been bottled up for how many years, or

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Speaker 1: what I had compartmentalized through dissociation was now back in

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Speaker 1: full view. But these wonderful humans prompted questions, prompted reflection

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Speaker 1: about things far beyond just my health and well being,

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Speaker 1: and it catalyzed a much deeper shift. So when I

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Speaker 1: came back to the industry, I went, uh oh.

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Speaker 2: So that's when you clocked it was unsafe.

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Speaker 1: I yeah, I can't do I've become aware.

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Speaker 3: My eyes have been opened.

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Speaker 2: So you didn't feel that like as you were, you

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Speaker 2: know this childhood phenom and you're doing all these things

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Speaker 2: in entertainment and dance. There was never a part of

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Speaker 2: you being like all these this is just really unsafe

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Speaker 2: for me. And I'm like, having an out of body

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Speaker 2: like you weren't able because you were so young. I'm

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Speaker 2: interested like, were you clocking that? Did you feel safe?

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Speaker 2: Did you feel unsafe?

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Speaker 1: The concept of safety was not even a conversation that similarly,

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Speaker 1: bodily autonomy, consent, those aren't even words I had heard

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Speaker 1: until my early twenties.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: So, and then there's something about, you know, how compliance

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Speaker 1: is rewarded, and it doesn't just happen with child performers,

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Speaker 1: of course, it happens with children everywhere where. The more

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Speaker 1: you obey the authority of figure, the authority figure, the

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Speaker 1: more you you know, earn their approval, please them, the

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Speaker 1: more you're sometimes basic survive needs will be met. And

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Speaker 1: so it's it's like that, but at an exponentially more

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Speaker 1: intense level when you are not only perhaps a breadwinner

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Speaker 1: in your family, but you also are employing in some

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Speaker 1: ways employing multiple people, and people's you know, livelihoods depend

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Speaker 1: on you continuing to book work. So safety was not

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Speaker 1: a thought. I think also at that time, we weren't

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Speaker 1: talking about things like psychological safety. We were thinking about

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Speaker 1: maybe physical safety, and even that was you know, muddy

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Speaker 1: because you know, you know, as an athlete, when we

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Speaker 1: were doing different training sessions, I'm like, Okay, these ten

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Speaker 1: to twelve hour days where we're just breaking our bodies down,

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Speaker 1: and then we're going to go on tour. We're going

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Speaker 1: to do this every night, three hour concert da da da.

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Speaker 1: Then you know, in between the concerts, we have to

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Speaker 1: do other jobs. Most of this, of course unpaid labor,

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Speaker 1: which we loves.

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Speaker 3: But these are things I was not thinking about. So

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Speaker 3: I was.

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Speaker 1: I was compliant, you know, and obedient.

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Speaker 3: I was so so, so so grateful.

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Speaker 1: Everything was such a you know, framed as such a

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Speaker 1: gift and such a special opportunity, which it it is

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Speaker 1: in so many ways, But there were no resources available

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Speaker 1: that spoke to what the impact would be on every

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Speaker 1: area of my life.

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Speaker 3: And we're not just saying psychologically, well, that's a.

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Speaker 2: That's a good point that you hit, because I think

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Speaker 2: that happens so much in both of our industries. Is

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Speaker 2: you're told to be grateful, and you're told very quickly

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Speaker 2: that you're replaceable, right yes, if anyone else would love

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Speaker 2: to be in your shoes, absolutely, And it makes you

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Speaker 2: go into dark, deep places where it's survival of the

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Speaker 2: fittest did the air. I always say this, the air

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Speaker 2: is then at the top, and you can't complain, you

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Speaker 2: can't hear humanize anything because you have to be a machine.

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Speaker 2: Stay tuned. I'll be back in just a moment after

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Speaker 2: this brief message from our sponsors.

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Speaker 3: Can I ask you a question please? I love this? Okay.

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Speaker 1: So I've been thinking a lot about how young athletes now,

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Speaker 1: on the one hand, can experience, you know, the special

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Speaker 1: privilege of endorsements and brand deals. But there's an What

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Speaker 1: comes with that is this pressure to be somewhat of

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Speaker 1: an influencer, somewhat of a role model, a public figure,

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Speaker 1: where I think more attention sometimes is placed on that

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Speaker 1: aspect of who you are than just being able to

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Speaker 1: play the game. And I'm wondering what are your thoughts on, like, wow,

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Speaker 1: protecting the well being of the young athletes.

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Speaker 2: That's a great question, And there's two parts to this.

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Speaker 2: I think just now the landscape is changing in real

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Speaker 2: time due to new nil deals, which is as we know,

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Speaker 2: name and image and likeness for the audience. That's like

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Speaker 2: a big topic right now because we used to not

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Speaker 2: get paid or it would jeopardize your college eligibility. This

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Speaker 2: whole new landscape is just existing in our country. And

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Speaker 2: you know, I interviewed and it still sticks with me

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Speaker 2: to this day. I interviewed Flage Johnson, who's a basketball

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Speaker 2: player at LSU. Very very successful go on sister makes

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Speaker 2: a fuck ton of money, and she should because she

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Speaker 2: is lovely, has a great head on her shoulders, gives

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Speaker 2: back to her community, is always wanting to do more

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Speaker 2: for other people than just like me, me, me, Which

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Speaker 2: what I will say is she said something to me.

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Speaker 2: She's like, I can't even go to a college party

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Speaker 2: without security. And I'm like, I went to the University

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Speaker 2: of North Carolina, and I just knew for every beer

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Speaker 2: I drank at a bar, I had to drink two water,

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Speaker 2: so I was good the next day for training. Like

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Speaker 2: I loved the social aspect of college. You know, I

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Speaker 2: was the first of my family to go. I was

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Speaker 2: the first to graduate, and the whole experience made me

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Speaker 2: who I am today. It built character, it built resilience.

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Speaker 2: I had to be good at my academics, I had

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Speaker 2: to be good at my I was so well rounded,

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Speaker 2: and that has been taken from these kids because they're

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Speaker 2: pros now right, Like brands are paying them millions of

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Speaker 2: dollars to walk and act a certain way because they

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Speaker 2: are now brand ambassadors and they are the face of

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Speaker 2: mass Mutual and all of these campaigns she's doing, Power

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Speaker 2: Aid blah blah blah. They have to walk such a

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Speaker 2: tight line at all times. What I'll say is these

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Speaker 2: women are smart because they have to be. They are

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Speaker 2: business women who now have been in boardrooms both beyond

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Speaker 2: the locker room. They're creating very very good lives for

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Speaker 2: themselves moving forward. And she said this, I'm not planning

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Speaker 2: for the next four years. I'm planning for the next forty.

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Speaker 2: If I had that thought process at twenty one years old, right,

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Speaker 2: I probably wouldn't be sitting here doing Wide Open. But truthfully,

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Speaker 2: and there's no so real.

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Speaker 1: It's a weird obviously, the pay gaps and also the

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Speaker 1: lack of training and preparation for transitions when you know

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Speaker 1: you're in a field where there is inevitably going to

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Speaker 1: be a time when you're no longer playing, and the

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Speaker 1: lack of resources for young athletes on what to do next.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I have some loved ones who are in

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Speaker 1: the WNBA and they're figuring it out too. It's on

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Speaker 1: their own dime that they have to make these moves

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Speaker 1: because if you're not also the chosen one on the team,

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Speaker 1: then those deals don't come in. And you're trying to

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Speaker 1: navigate like, Okay, how many side jobs am I going

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Speaker 1: to need the second that my contract is and that's all,

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Speaker 1: which is similar for actors, and that's.

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Speaker 2: All of us. I mean, when that career is over,

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Speaker 2: no matter how well you did until probably the last

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Speaker 2: few years, like you have to have a job right

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Speaker 2: when you finish and you retire, like you have to

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Speaker 2: have what's next, And you know, there's this whole identity

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Speaker 2: process of refining yourself at thirty nine years old, it's like,

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Speaker 2: who am I outside of what I do?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 1: Something you said a moment ago sparked a thought I've

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Speaker 1: been It's probably been the last ten to thirteen years

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Speaker 1: that I've been trying to reposition myself, you know, one

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Speaker 1: step of time, one micro decision, every day at a

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Speaker 1: time where by now, if I choose to walk away

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Speaker 1: from the industry, I have figured out other job opportunities.

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Speaker 1: I've you know, garnered certifications in different spaces so I

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Speaker 1: can teach here and I can you know, earn an

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Speaker 1: income here and I can serve this community over here.

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Speaker 1: But it's been thirty ten to thirteen years of all

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Speaker 1: of these daily decisions. But something that I'm thinking about

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Speaker 1: right now is there are truths that I want to

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Speaker 1: share about the entertainment industry. And I vividly remember the

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Speaker 1: moment where I thought, if I say these things out loud,

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Speaker 1: this could risk everything everything. So before I do that,

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Speaker 1: just like you know, business coaches will be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: before you just up and quit your job, like, how

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Speaker 1: are you going to make sure your base?

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Speaker 3: Your bases are covered?

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Speaker 1: I started thinking, Okay, I'm going to I need new

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Speaker 1: skills because I'm not prepared for the world outside of

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Speaker 1: this bubble, and I'm gonna need a new view of myself.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to believe that I'm able to offer

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Speaker 1: the world something else. I'm gonna have to go back

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Speaker 1: to school. I'm gonna have to, you know, figure out

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Speaker 1: what my set of logistics looks like. But how empowering

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Speaker 1: that now? The worst that could happen, I mean, and

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Speaker 1: it could get bad.

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Speaker 3: Listen this book. There's a lot of information in there.

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Speaker 1: I am curious to see what conversations it sparks. But

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Speaker 1: I feel so grateful that I am not dependent on

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Speaker 1: the industry for my source of identity, for my source

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Speaker 1: of income, for my source of personal worth and contribution

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Speaker 1: to the world. So that if and when I'm no

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Speaker 1: longer invited to the party because I spoke a little

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Speaker 1: bit too much truth to power, I'm like, cool.

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Speaker 2: What's that means? You're in a good place. It's so

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Speaker 2: has to be liberating.

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Speaker 3: It's so liberating.

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Speaker 1: It's so liberating, and I wish it for everyone who feels,

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Speaker 1: you know, stuck in a particular position. And now I

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Speaker 1: know that there are a lot of other factors that

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Speaker 1: go into us feeling like we've got limited options or

437
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 1: truly having limited options. So you know, I'm not saying

438
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 1: it's not a Pollyanna mentality. It's actually quite a methodical,

439
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,919
Speaker 1: painstaking journey to say. This is going to take a

440
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:36,919
Speaker 1: long time. No one's going to do it for me.

441
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,920
Speaker 1: I'm going to need to figure out how to make sure,

442
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 1: like I can pay rent if this all crumbles.

443
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:51,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, and literally that's the thing. It's like, you can't

444
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:54,440
Speaker 2: guarantee your next job in this industry. Oh it's yeah,

445
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 2: there's no such thing as like stability.

446
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,400
Speaker 3: It's like you get done with the.

447
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 2: Job, and before that's even done, you're already trying to

448
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:06,160
Speaker 2: find the next. It's like so hard to stay present,

449
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:10,359
Speaker 2: it's so hard to actually feel. And I know a

450
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 2: part of this process, like you came into your own

451
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 2: skin and your own identity of queerness. And it's interesting

452
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:24,959
Speaker 2: because like I came out really really late in life,

453
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:28,480
Speaker 2: and I just laugh. I'm like laughing because everyone knew

454
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,919
Speaker 2: I was fucking gay, same except for me.

455
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, same, But did you know you were queer? I

456
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,879
Speaker 3: didn't know. I did not have time to know that.

457
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:38,280
Speaker 3: That's I'm like the part.

458
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:41,399
Speaker 2: I've been playing for you know, us soccer since I

459
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:45,000
Speaker 2: was thirteen. It was never fucking about me, right, it

460
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:50,879
Speaker 2: was about this mission of success and greatness, and Western

461
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:51,960
Speaker 2: culture tells me.

462
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 3: This at all.

463
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 2: Come, Oh my god, I didn't know who the fuck

464
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:59,159
Speaker 2: I was. And I'm just now, in real time, having

465
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 2: to unpack it because I never allowed myself to come

466
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 2: up for air.

467
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:07,440
Speaker 1: And if I can add some compassion in there, the

468
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:12,639
Speaker 1: forces and systems and folks around you perhaps contributed to

469
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:16,199
Speaker 1: you not having that space either. So it wasn't just

470
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 1: this like self inflicted. You know, we're we're born into

471
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,720
Speaker 1: a space that's got a lot of rules, you know,

472
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:26,399
Speaker 1: that are governing all of our lives all the time.

473
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:31,359
Speaker 1: But it's interesting when you talk about coming back into

474
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:36,159
Speaker 1: your body. So after rehab, a part of healing and recovery,

475
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 1: especially with you know, a body related eating disorder and

476
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 1: mental illness, was sematic psychotherapy. And for those who aren't

477
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:51,240
Speaker 1: aren't familiar with the term sematics, simply put, think about

478
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 1: it as body centered interventions or frameworks approaches for healing.

479
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 1: So instead of just neck up solutions like talk therapy,

480
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:06,719
Speaker 1: now you're incorporating the nervous system. You're learning to identify

481
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 1: where the emotion is stored in your body. Is it

482
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 1: contributing to tension, is it you know, is there a

483
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 1: certain location, a certain memory associated with this injury in

484
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 1: your hip, whatever it is. So it's you know, making

485
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 1: sure that the mind body connection is strengthened for a

486
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 1: more holistic approach to recovery. Well that said, I get

487
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 1: back to Los Angeles and I start going on auditions

488
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:41,400
Speaker 1: and then now my body is online. I'm not dissociated

489
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:45,120
Speaker 1: in the same way and disconnected. Therefore my body is

490
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 1: going who wha, whoa, whoa, whoa.

491
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 3: This is not good.

492
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 1: We don't like this, things like this isn't safe, things

493
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 1: like I actually don't want to be here at all,

494
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 1: things like this is completely incongruent with your values.

495
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 3: And now I'm.

496
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 1: Wanting to listen to the cues, honor them. But how

497
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 1: do I do that in a system that's like Nope,

498
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 1: it would be much better off if you would just

499
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 1: stay disconnected. So I think what's interesting is eventually it

500
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 1: was around the pandemic, you know, if everything is shut down,

501
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 1: and I knew I at least wouldn't be going on auditions.

502
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 1: At the time, I thought, Okay, should I start applying

503
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 1: this philosophy to potential career pathways maybe shifts? And so

504
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 1: I started studying the mind body connection further, got some certifications,

505
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 1: ended up starting a company called Movement Genius, and it

506
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 1: has the somatic approach to stress relief and you know,

507
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 1: overall well being. And so now when I think about

508
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 1: making decisions, they're full body yeses or full body knows.

509
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 1: There's clarity there, right, But for a lot of us

510
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 1: due to so many very real factors, like you got

511
00:30:56,720 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 1: kids and your body says I'm tired, okay too, damn

512
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 1: back right exactly so you know, it's not about saying

513
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 1: like I'm going to stop everything in play kate to

514
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 1: whatever the body.

515
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:08,760
Speaker 3: Begs for in that moment.

516
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 1: It's more so going, oh, I now at least understand

517
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 1: first of all, my own operating system, and second of

518
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:20,000
Speaker 1: all tools that can help me manage all of these

519
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 1: experiences and know when I've hit my limit, or know

520
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 1: when I'm in a room that I really I don't

521
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 1: think I belong here anymore. I don't think I want

522
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 1: to be here anymore. I think it would be better

523
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 1: for me to go somewhere else. Like right, you just

524
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 1: start having a more holistic orientation to the world. But

525
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:42,240
Speaker 1: it's a privilege to have the space, time resources to

526
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:45,040
Speaker 1: be able to do that kind of deep healing. So

527
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 1: you know, I acknowledge that, And that's part of the

528
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 1: premise for Movement Genius was how can we make these

529
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 1: kinds of tools easy to use, you know, accessible, which

530
00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 1: means you can just pull them up straight on your phone.

531
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: And they're also ultra affordable because you're like not about

532
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 1: to be another wellness company, especially you know, a white

533
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 1: person slender like there are enough, There are enough of

534
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 1: us in the wellness space, so you know, the majority

535
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 1: of our therapist network and practitioner network are experts of color,

536
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 1: experts with disabilities, experts who are chronically ill, so speaking

537
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:33,240
Speaker 1: to just all of the real experiences that don't often

538
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 1: get centered in wellness spaces. But how can we make

539
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:41,160
Speaker 1: sure these tools can be easy to use? And that

540
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:48,960
Speaker 1: has been so transformative in my personal life. But also

541
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 1: seeing now like you know, thousands and thousands of people

542
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 1: being able to say, like, hey, this has actually changed

543
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 1: the quality of my health and well being and I'm

544
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:01,800
Speaker 1: making different decisions because of it, and I'm seeing real

545
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 1: improvements because of it.

546
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 2: And that's the thing is like, especially a lot of women,

547
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 2: we neglect ourselves so much. Yeah, because we are conditioned

548
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:13,280
Speaker 2: to serve other people, right, We're givers at our core.

549
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 2: That's what we're told at a very very early age

550
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:21,640
Speaker 2: and or accessories, Yes, exactly. And it's interesting when I was,

551
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 2: you know, reading a few different things about your coming

552
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 2: out process and you losing jobs and someone saying you're

553
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 2: unsafe was the exact word that, like, I'm going to

554
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 2: be honest, kind of fucked me up.

555
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 3: It's just heartbreaking, it is.

556
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 2: You know, And it's like living your truth is the

557
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 2: best gift you can give yourself and this world.

558
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:54,160
Speaker 1: Also, I know it's maybe the unpopular take, but I

559
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:58,600
Speaker 1: still want to offer the people who release me from

560
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:04,040
Speaker 1: the job some compassion in a sense that we're all

561
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 1: swimming in this ocean of cultural myths and what I

562
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:13,279
Speaker 1: believe some of them to be harmful ideologies. And you know,

563
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 1: they didn't. They weren't born hating me or people like me.

564
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 1: It was learned. And yes, everyone's accountable for their decisions.

565
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,799
Speaker 1: So it's it's both and right. Yeah, so you know,

566
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 1: I'm I'm holding multiple experiences at once, but I do

567
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 1: recall thinking, I know that we have an honest and

568
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:38,319
Speaker 1: genuine connection because we've been colleagues for.

569
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:39,240
Speaker 3: Many months now.

570
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 1: So it was it's just that something got activated and

571
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:49,359
Speaker 1: and it you know, that the aspect of queerness for

572
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:54,319
Speaker 1: them sent their body into a state of fear, into

573
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 1: a state of discomfort where they felt unsafe because of

574
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:03,280
Speaker 1: belief that they had inherited from somewhere someone at some point.

575
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:06,839
Speaker 1: And so my hope, of course, I don't know where

576
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,279
Speaker 1: they're at now, but I really hope that they've had

577
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,759
Speaker 1: more proximity to queerness, not at the expense of the

578
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:16,840
Speaker 1: queer person near them, but just as a way to

579
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:21,799
Speaker 1: humanize the hum well we have to be because you know,

580
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 1: I was I was them eight years ago when I

581
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:33,759
Speaker 1: was in a particular congregation in a church where I

582
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 1: thought I was loving someone by condemning them for their queerness.

583
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 3: I don't know that I ever outwardly.

584
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:43,520
Speaker 1: Send that to someone, so much as internally thought, okay,

585
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:47,720
Speaker 1: I'm being obedient to the divine principle.

586
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:51,720
Speaker 3: Of yeah straightness, you know. Lol.

587
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:56,239
Speaker 1: So many layers, so many things to unpack there. But

588
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 1: and also like this case, this can also there are

589
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:08,440
Speaker 1: parallels in my journey of unpacking my internalized racism, internalized sexism,

590
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:09,799
Speaker 1: internalized homophobia.

591
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:16,280
Speaker 3: Like I so, I I don't find that it's worth

592
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 3: judging someone.

593
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:20,919
Speaker 1: I just believe that's not the totality of who they are.

594
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 1: It is a plot point they're located here right now.

595
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 1: But I have to believe that there's room for a

596
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:33,800
Speaker 1: shift because I myself have undergone so many.

597
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:37,279
Speaker 2: That's a beautiful lens to think that, Like I mean,

598
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:40,560
Speaker 2: it's a beautiful lens to live your life through, because

599
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 2: I would be it's right, it's hard, right because like

600
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 2: I think a lot of us in our community are angry,

601
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:55,280
Speaker 2: understandable and totally unders We have every right to be angry.

602
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:59,240
Speaker 2: I mean every single day our community is targeted. Every

603
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 2: day you have laws that are coming out to strip

604
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:05,319
Speaker 2: us from our you know.

605
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 1: Basic dignity and right.

606
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:13,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's like it's constantly this uphill battle that

607
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 2: we fight, but we're told to not be angry because

608
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 2: it's this fear based and the opposite of this fear

609
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:25,360
Speaker 2: base is this compassion and love that we need to

610
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:28,759
Speaker 2: bring into the world that we're not fucking met with,

611
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:33,160
Speaker 2: right And it's hard. Yes, So I'm glad you said that.

612
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 2: It's like this is just where they're at right now.

613
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 3: And also.

614
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:42,279
Speaker 1: Make room for that anger. Please do not hear me incorrectly.

615
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 1: Do not skip that. Do not skip over the necessary

616
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 1: and important emotional experience and processing, the psychological impact, and

617
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 1: also the real factors of maybe your safety being at

618
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:59,360
Speaker 1: risk because of wherever you're located. Honor all of those,

619
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 1: and whenever your process leads you into another space where

620
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 1: there's capacity to see where perhaps the person you know

621
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:17,399
Speaker 1: opposite you is also hurting or or or maybe if

622
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:20,720
Speaker 1: they had more information and more time or a different

623
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 1: upbringing would have landed in a different place and would

624
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 1: have been able to interact with you differently, Like it's

625
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:31,320
Speaker 1: this is it's touchy because I I'm not saying everyone

626
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:34,719
Speaker 1: needs to do this or that this is the right

627
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:42,320
Speaker 1: thing to do in my personal position. I've just found

628
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 1: that I have to be able to humanize the person

629
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:49,280
Speaker 1: in front of me, especially if I want them someday

630
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 1: to humanize me. Yeah, it's complicated.

631
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 2: It is.

632
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:54,960
Speaker 3: It reuper complicated, It really is.

633
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:59,640
Speaker 2: But it's I like the lens of the way you

634
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:00,120
Speaker 2: view it.

635
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,280
Speaker 3: Because it's it is a Safety.

636
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:05,239
Speaker 2: Is a weird term in our community, right right, it

637
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:08,880
Speaker 2: is a and and I have boundaries because I need safety.

638
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 2: And I want to ask you, you know, being this

639
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:19,400
Speaker 2: childhood star who didn't have safety, is that why it

640
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:23,960
Speaker 2: was so important for you to create movement Genius, to

641
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:30,080
Speaker 2: have these guard rails that protect childhood actors and performers, Like,

642
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:36,719
Speaker 2: because you first hand experienced what an unsafe environment looked

643
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 2: like and you wanted to create create that. Now on

644
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:40,720
Speaker 2: the back.

645
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:46,720
Speaker 1: End, yes, I intentionally wanted to look at this toddler

646
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 1: to train wreck pipeline, this industry ecosystem and figure out

647
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 1: solutions that could improve working conditions, living conditions, and the

648
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 1: overall experience of working in the industry for children at

649
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 1: every station. So I thought, okay, on set, it would

650
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 1: be great, of course if we had mental health coordinators,

651
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 1: especially if the kid is portraying traumatic material. That's a

652
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:13,400
Speaker 1: conversation for you know, another time. But definitely need some

653
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:17,640
Speaker 1: support there and resources. But then we also need federal legislation.

654
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:21,880
Speaker 1: So I'm working with the Cohort. We're advocating for policy

655
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 1: to protect not only children in the industry, but also

656
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 1: child influencers, which is this whole new demographic of kids.

657
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:32,839
Speaker 1: And it's actually a much wider range of kids who

658
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 1: are affected because nowadays a parent, a guardian, an adult, anyone,

659
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:41,600
Speaker 1: maybe the kid themselves sometimes can just press record post

660
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 1: and then sometimes that content is monetized and you know, yes,

661
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 1: and deep fakes, I have so many.

662
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:58,399
Speaker 2: And women, yes, children and women nine children and women AI. Yes,

663
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 2: is not you know it's going to be. There's so

664
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:05,040
Speaker 2: much about technology is great, but that part is not.

665
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 3: The intimate deep fakes.

666
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 1: Thirteen percent of teenagers have now had some kind of

667
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:15,520
Speaker 1: experience with a nude deep fake. There's on telegram app alone.

668
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:19,279
Speaker 1: I know this isn't aside. But it's interesting because there's

669
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 1: legislation that we can actually help push forward. Telegram alone,

670
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:31,960
Speaker 1: there are at least fifty bots that create explicit photos

671
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 1: and videos with just a few clicks, and they have

672
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 1: four million monthly users. That's on Telegram alone. And there

673
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:42,360
Speaker 1: are many states where this is actually not even illegal

674
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:47,839
Speaker 1: yet to post intimate deep fakes. So there's a whole

675
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 1: new world of risk for everyone, and in my area

676
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 1: of specialization children, So I, yes, have created resources that

677
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 1: kids can use on set. Yes, I'm working with policymakers. Yes,

678
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 1: I'm hopefully helping reshape public perception of what it means

679
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:14,200
Speaker 1: to be a child entertainer or a high performing child

680
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 1: through the memoir, I just wanted to make sure that

681
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 1: we're able to, yes, provide safer conditions, but also increase

682
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 1: the overall awareness for parents, guardians, young people who think

683
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 1: they're getting into something very fun, and there's an innocence

684
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:41,080
Speaker 1: and a naivete and ignorance, and I'm.

685
00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:42,080
Speaker 3: Like, whoha, wha, wha, whoa.

686
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:45,359
Speaker 1: If you at least have more information, then you can

687
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 1: make a decision more consciously about how you participate.

688
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:51,360
Speaker 3: I would hope that it.

689
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:55,200
Speaker 1: Would change the way people participate, but even if it doesn't,

690
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:57,840
Speaker 1: at least then I'm like, Okay, you all are accountable

691
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,120
Speaker 1: for still moving forward and putting your child in to

692
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:00,720
Speaker 1: the situation.

693
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:08,240
Speaker 2: Absolutely, this is wide open, and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris.

694
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 2: Thanks for listening.

695
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:10,520
Speaker 3: We'll be right back.

696
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 2: Now that you are in this like really great space,

697
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:22,160
Speaker 2: you know, and you've really walked through the storm to

698
00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,920
Speaker 2: get on this side and unpacked it because I imagine

699
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 2: you have to to write a memoir about it.

700
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 1: Bully, I wish it on no one, and yet I

701
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 1: wish it on everyone.

702
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:33,759
Speaker 3: So I actually.

703
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 1: Started working on this book many years ago in a

704
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:39,879
Speaker 1: lot of different forms. It wasn't always a book. It

705
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:41,600
Speaker 1: was a show, and it was a this, it was

706
00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:46,720
Speaker 1: a that. But I had my outline, I had the narrative.

707
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:51,919
Speaker 1: I had what I thought was clarity until I had

708
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 1: to write ninety five to one hundred and ten thousand words,

709
00:43:56,120 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 1: not just the proposal, not just the sample chapters, but

710
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:03,400
Speaker 1: actually get everyvery single detail down. I brought in a

711
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:05,879
Speaker 1: wonderful writing supervisor because I knew I wouldn't be able

712
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 1: to tackle this project alone. But when she prompted me

713
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:13,360
Speaker 1: to go a little bit deeper, on some of these issues.

714
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:14,919
Speaker 3: What happened was.

715
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:21,680
Speaker 1: I ended up discovering documents and information about my past

716
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:26,200
Speaker 1: in professional and personal spaces that I had never seen

717
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 1: before that fundamentally shifted my understanding.

718
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:33,600
Speaker 3: Of my entire life.

719
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:38,440
Speaker 1: Wow, I had already written most of the book, and

720
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:42,840
Speaker 1: now suddenly I'm thinking, I need to go back and

721
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 1: connect these dots differently, and do I even believe this anymore?

722
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:51,400
Speaker 1: And it was such a visceral experience because some of

723
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:57,240
Speaker 1: the information was really hard to digest. And so this memoir,

724
00:44:57,680 --> 00:45:01,800
Speaker 1: you know, readers are going to get a very potent

725
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 1: and charged explanation account of, you know, the first twenty

726
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 1: five ish years of my life. But I, from doing

727
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 1: this project now feel actually like.

728
00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:22,600
Speaker 3: I'm entering my wide open era because I feel like.

729
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:28,719
Speaker 1: I feel like I actually got the the missing details

730
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:34,480
Speaker 1: and the truth and now I feel freed, freer.

731
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:36,279
Speaker 3: But also.

732
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:42,160
Speaker 1: The lie that I had about my whole life, it's

733
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 1: now the bubble was popped. So now it's for forced

734
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:50,400
Speaker 1: me to be wide open and I don't know what's ahead.

735
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:54,560
Speaker 1: So this book is kind of like a Okay, well

736
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:56,760
Speaker 1: it's a vulnerable place here.

737
00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:58,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, here we are.

738
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 1: And like I said, I'm you know, set myself up

739
00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 1: to have options, but this is the first time in

740
00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 1: my life where I do not have on purpose a

741
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 1: clear five year plan. Also, with everything going on in

742
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 1: the world, I'm like, I think I need to observe,

743
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 1: pay attention, see what's going on, and see where it

744
00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 1: would be best for me to plug in and serve

745
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 1: and contribute. Like it's not just obviously, it's not just

746
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:29,480
Speaker 1: about me and what I want to do. It's like

747
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 1: we're in a particular time. Oh, so many needs, so

748
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 1: many crises, So what's ahead.

749
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:42,719
Speaker 2: I have no fucking idea with that. Though, in this

750
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:48,359
Speaker 2: space you're in now, where do you find safety at

751
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:50,400
Speaker 2: this point in your life doesn't have to be a place,

752
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:51,600
Speaker 2: could be a person.

753
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:52,759
Speaker 3: I'm just curious.

754
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:57,200
Speaker 1: I would say, now, I am so grateful that I

755
00:46:57,280 --> 00:46:59,480
Speaker 1: have an actual community.

756
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:00,800
Speaker 3: I was so isolated.

757
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:03,040
Speaker 1: I didn't even know what isolated meant, because I would

758
00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:05,000
Speaker 1: just use the word solitude and be like, yeah, I

759
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:09,279
Speaker 1: love being alone, and I do. But also, wow, what

760
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 1: a difference when you've got even just a few people

761
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 1: where your entire body feels relaxed enough to open up

762
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:21,360
Speaker 1: to be seen heard. Oh my gosh, imagine, like I

763
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 1: avoided that my whole life cause I didn't know if

764
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:26,440
Speaker 1: that was going to be shared with some reporter later.

765
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:33,200
Speaker 1: So now I've got this like mutual, beautiful relationship with

766
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:38,800
Speaker 1: several friends, and that I think is a beautiful source

767
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:45,800
Speaker 1: of safety. And I finally left Los Angeles and found

768
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 1: a physical home that was kind of the last piece, which, wow,

769
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:55,439
Speaker 1: makes all the difference when you're able to as someone

770
00:47:55,480 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 1: who grew up in a very volatile home and then

771
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:06,480
Speaker 1: lived in utter chaos for twenty plus years straight. What

772
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:10,280
Speaker 1: a difference it makes when you can walk into a room,

773
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 1: your bedroom or a living room, sit down and exhale

774
00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 1: and not have immediate conflict or threats of violence. I

775
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:27,560
Speaker 1: hope everyone can experience that. I know many don't.

776
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:32,520
Speaker 2: That's very well put, and it's probably taking you a

777
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:35,640
Speaker 2: long time to get to this mat We still all

778
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:37,799
Speaker 2: of us are a work in progress, right. It's like

779
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:41,719
Speaker 2: we don't have all the answers. We're like building the

780
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:44,919
Speaker 2: plane and flying it at the same time, and it's

781
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:50,759
Speaker 2: just this is life, and we're constant, constantly evolving and

782
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 2: learning and trying to be better. And what is your

783
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:56,720
Speaker 2: relationship now with your body?

784
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 1: Well, thankfully I no longer view my body as a

785
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:10,359
Speaker 1: project to complete, as if there's like some destination or

786
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:14,000
Speaker 1: or an object to fix, ridicule, criticize.

787
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:16,480
Speaker 3: It is now.

788
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:23,920
Speaker 1: It is now a source of intelligence that I trust.

789
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:29,719
Speaker 1: When it signals to me, I try to listen. And

790
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:38,200
Speaker 1: now I'm just so grateful that of all the things

791
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 1: my body can do and experience, maybe you'll relate as

792
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:47,160
Speaker 1: a as an athlete, as a performer.

793
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:49,200
Speaker 3: Our bodies are our tools.

794
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:52,560
Speaker 1: It's the instrument, it's the you know, it's your income,

795
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:53,360
Speaker 1: it's it's all of it.

796
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:58,319
Speaker 3: So there can be a bit of it is the word.

797
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:01,920
Speaker 1: I know how to spell it and read it, but

798
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:03,120
Speaker 1: do I know how to say it out loud?

799
00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 3: Mechanization.

800
00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:11,600
Speaker 1: We view our bodies as a piece of machinery, and

801
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:15,680
Speaker 1: so I was obsessed about what performance metrics I could

802
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:17,719
Speaker 1: hit and how many peer what's can you do? How

803
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 1: fast can you run that sprint?

804
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 3: Da da da da?

805
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 1: But now I'm grateful for all of the non performance

806
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 1: related things that I can do, like just open a

807
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:32,520
Speaker 1: cabinet and you know, write someone a letter. And so

808
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:37,960
Speaker 1: I try to think about the privilege of experiencing life

809
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:42,200
Speaker 1: in a physical vessel that has this range of sensation,

810
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:47,560
Speaker 1: feeling experiences that we can have and it's suddenly not

811
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:51,640
Speaker 1: something I have to fear or discipline and control. It's

812
00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:56,760
Speaker 1: now like, oh, this is you know, there are infinite

813
00:50:56,800 --> 00:51:00,920
Speaker 1: possibilities for what my body can do. You can be

814
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:04,719
Speaker 1: can feel some of them. I would prefer not to.

815
00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:06,680
Speaker 2: I'm like waking up.

816
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 3: I know every day it really is. It's so us

817
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:13,399
Speaker 3: hard and don't you wonder sometimes You're like how much

818
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 3: of this is?

819
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 1: Because I've just been an athlete my whole life and

820
00:51:17,239 --> 00:51:19,480
Speaker 1: I probably like, you know.

821
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:21,279
Speaker 3: Well, I know it for myself. Yeah, I never we

822
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:21,640
Speaker 3: don't know that.

823
00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:25,879
Speaker 2: We don't even checked in I know with myself ever never,

824
00:51:26,320 --> 00:51:28,320
Speaker 2: What is it like for you now?

825
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 1: Kind of are you feeling like you have a different

826
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 1: relationship to your body now that you're not in I do.

827
00:51:33,719 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 3: I'm that kind of performance space.

828
00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:39,320
Speaker 2: You know, it's an interesting place as you grow old

829
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:41,640
Speaker 2: and now I'm only you know, I'm in my thirties,

830
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 2: but I'm about to be forty this year. I have

831
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:48,040
Speaker 2: a different I don't know if it ever leads, like

832
00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:51,160
Speaker 2: I still see myself as a professional athlete. Yes, yeah,

833
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:54,680
Speaker 2: I'm still very disciplined on you know, what I eat

834
00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 2: and what how much sleep I get? So I I

835
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:03,560
Speaker 2: think it's a really complex thing. I never had time

836
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:05,960
Speaker 2: to look around and be like, look at the beauty

837
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:10,480
Speaker 2: and the small things, because if I did that, someone

838
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:14,239
Speaker 2: else was passing me by. Like I didn't sleep, I

839
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:16,839
Speaker 2: wanted to work. I didn't cut corners. I always thought

840
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:20,560
Speaker 2: someone was chasing me and someone was working harder. And

841
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:25,400
Speaker 2: now you know what, I crave fucking peace. Yes, I

842
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:28,239
Speaker 2: don't have to chase it. It's not something I have

843
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:31,919
Speaker 2: to wrap my head around the complexity of it. It's

844
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:34,839
Speaker 2: just the state of being. I want to be at

845
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:35,720
Speaker 2: fucking peace.

846
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:38,600
Speaker 3: I would love to meet you there. So wherever you

847
00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:41,560
Speaker 3: go and find it, I got you text me.

848
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:44,920
Speaker 2: But that's my journey now, Yeah, that's beautiful.

849
00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:46,839
Speaker 3: It's finding peace.

850
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:51,120
Speaker 2: Just like okay, Like I'm good, We're good, we're connecting,

851
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 2: we're sharing oxygen. We're trying to change the world. We're

852
00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:59,440
Speaker 2: trying to unpack the traumas we've had to experience. To

853
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 2: chase lateness, I'm a peace who It's.

854
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:09,319
Speaker 1: Heavy, it's heavy and also lighty light it is I'm

855
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 1: like and realizing that's the first deep breath I've taken

856
00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:17,000
Speaker 1: in a long time. Also though, you know, life, I

857
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 1: think it's easy to narrativize, right, Like humans are always

858
00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:26,160
Speaker 1: meaning making and and we can see the world as

859
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:29,279
Speaker 1: if it's against us, or like the whole world is

860
00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:33,240
Speaker 1: against us, or you know, we can we just internalize

861
00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:37,319
Speaker 1: these narratives. And I think I've lately been reflecting on

862
00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:43,520
Speaker 1: what residue is still needing to be maybe like wiped

863
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:47,239
Speaker 1: off the windows where I'm trying to get a clear

864
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:50,600
Speaker 1: look at things, but it's still catching on to these

865
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 1: like younger parts of myself that carry certain narratives. So

866
00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:58,280
Speaker 1: that's always something I'm thinking about, and I do unpack

867
00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:00,719
Speaker 1: it quite a bit in the book actually, like you know,

868
00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:04,640
Speaker 1: deconstructing things in the Church, Like that's a whole worldview.

869
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:08,319
Speaker 1: It's a whole paradigm of thought and an orientation to

870
00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:08,840
Speaker 1: the world.

871
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:12,400
Speaker 2: And that's not a chapter, that's a whole damn book.

872
00:54:12,320 --> 00:54:15,120
Speaker 1: Right, But I think, what's I think that's why in

873
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:22,520
Speaker 1: my Acknowledge It Acknowledgments Section I, in addition to thinking

874
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:27,799
Speaker 1: human beings, I also give a shout out to neuroplasticity,

875
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:33,600
Speaker 1: because if our brains were truly fixed and absolutely stuck,

876
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:39,359
Speaker 1: that would be a sad condition. The fact that there

877
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:43,839
Speaker 1: is some source of hope in knowing our brains can

878
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:48,080
Speaker 1: learn to adapt or do something differently or try something new,

879
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:51,240
Speaker 1: is is kind of what keeps me going.

880
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:52,480
Speaker 3: It's how I know.

881
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:55,319
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, we were who we were ten years ago,

882
00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:58,399
Speaker 1: we are who we are today. Hopefully ten years from now,

883
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:02,279
Speaker 1: we're having a whole different in conversation. Yeah, because we've

884
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 1: given ourselves permission to, you know, allow neuroplasticity to help

885
00:55:08,120 --> 00:55:13,040
Speaker 1: us enable growth. So that's something that yeah, I think

886
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:17,040
Speaker 1: about is just like, what are the narratives currently driving

887
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:21,279
Speaker 1: you in your life? And what can you do to

888
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:23,840
Speaker 1: at least create some distance from the narrative. I'm not

889
00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:25,600
Speaker 1: saying the narrative's bad, wrong, or that you need to

890
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:27,560
Speaker 1: get rid of it per se, but just create some

891
00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 1: distance so that that's not your only option to see

892
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:34,680
Speaker 1: the circumstance, you know, through that lens, Like give yourself

893
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:39,319
Speaker 1: some you know, some alternative narratives, just as a creative exercise.

894
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:43,439
Speaker 2: The last question I really want to ask, what do

895
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:46,560
Speaker 2: you want your audience to take? If there's like one

896
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:51,759
Speaker 2: thing you want people to take from this book, what

897
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:54,359
Speaker 2: would it be? Because it's going to strike a nerve

898
00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:57,719
Speaker 2: with so many different people based on their own journey,

899
00:55:58,239 --> 00:56:01,799
Speaker 2: But just from from you, what is that one thing

900
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:05,320
Speaker 2: you want everyone to take out of reading this book?

901
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:10,360
Speaker 1: I think I want to offer one thing for the

902
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:16,120
Speaker 1: reader listener and one thing for myself or the impact

903
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:24,000
Speaker 1: I'm hoping to have for the reader or listener. To

904
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:27,160
Speaker 1: be honest, I'm hoping that.

905
00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:28,360
Speaker 3: This memoir.

906
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:34,200
Speaker 1: Is the last of its kind because I'm not only

907
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:40,839
Speaker 1: connecting dots across the Hollywood ecosystem and child development and

908
00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 1: media culture, but I'm presenting existing solutions that can meaningfully

909
00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:54,400
Speaker 1: improve not only the industry but also digital landscape and

910
00:56:54,680 --> 00:57:00,200
Speaker 1: just hopefully how we conceive of child stardom in our culture. Sure,

911
00:57:00,760 --> 00:57:06,839
Speaker 1: so my hope is that it will fundamentally alter how

912
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:13,800
Speaker 1: people experience consuming content with children, how they'll think about

913
00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:16,560
Speaker 1: their own childhood, and maybe the pressures they felt to

914
00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:19,680
Speaker 1: emulate the person who was on camera, Now that they

915
00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:22,040
Speaker 1: know what was really going on, like, what will that

916
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:26,480
Speaker 1: bring up for them? So I wanted to be the

917
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:31,520
Speaker 1: last of its kind because I'm tired of documentaries and

918
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:37,919
Speaker 1: memoirs about the child star's rebellion, the child star's reinvention,

919
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:42,760
Speaker 1: the child stars break down, the child stars brilliant like

920
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:46,600
Speaker 1: these are all manufactured and they just keep the toddler

921
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:48,520
Speaker 1: to train wreck pipeline in place.

922
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:51,320
Speaker 3: We got to get beyond that. We're ready as a society.

923
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:53,280
Speaker 1: I believe that we're ready to reckon with a lot

924
00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:54,920
Speaker 1: of things right now, so might as well add this

925
00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:59,560
Speaker 1: to the list. And then for myself, my.

926
00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 3: Hope is that.

927
00:58:02,920 --> 00:58:06,600
Speaker 1: It's a bit of a it's a bit of an oxymoron.

928
00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:10,600
Speaker 1: I know that I'm releasing something to the public, so

929
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:18,200
Speaker 1: it will feed into being a quote unquote public figure,

930
00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:21,000
Speaker 1: at least for a period of time. But my hope

931
00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 1: is that if someone approaches me and says, hey, I

932
00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:27,960
Speaker 1: read the book, that we can have a conversation as mutuals,

933
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:32,280
Speaker 1: and that we can completely eliminate the pedestal, the halo

934
00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:35,440
Speaker 1: effect of you know, the person in the public eye

935
00:58:35,680 --> 00:58:39,680
Speaker 1: versus the person who is quote unquote normal. I just

936
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:41,760
Speaker 1: want to can we please humanize each other?

937
00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:42,200
Speaker 2: Yes?

938
00:58:42,240 --> 00:58:44,320
Speaker 1: And I want to. I want to have a real conversation.

939
00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:50,480
Speaker 1: I'm hoping that I'm not feeding the very beast, you know,

940
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:54,560
Speaker 1: by like giving my book book the publicity, like it's

941
00:58:54,640 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 1: you know, I'm like good, We're kind of playing the

942
00:58:56,800 --> 00:59:02,160
Speaker 1: game while trying to call out the game. So if

943
00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:04,600
Speaker 1: you see me on the street and you know you

944
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:07,480
Speaker 1: happen to have read the book, and you listened to

945
00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:13,520
Speaker 1: the book, like please just let's let's be as average

946
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:14,960
Speaker 1: and ordinary as possible.

947
00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:21,040
Speaker 2: I think everyone is craving that, right, yeah, right, And

948
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:27,320
Speaker 2: I think I hope that it really opens people people's

949
00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:30,800
Speaker 2: eyes to your experience and realize we have to make

950
00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:36,000
Speaker 2: a change, and we have seen far too many child

951
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:42,480
Speaker 2: stars end up in a hard place. And I think

952
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:46,360
Speaker 2: you know your bravery and telling your story and being

953
00:59:46,400 --> 00:59:50,400
Speaker 2: so open about what you've had to go through will

954
00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:53,800
Speaker 2: help other people, I hope. So I'm really excited for

955
00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:55,440
Speaker 2: people to get the opportunity.

956
00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:59,640
Speaker 1: And I would just say there are a lot of

957
00:59:59,720 --> 01:00:02,600
Speaker 1: detail in these chapters, so please read it with care.

958
01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:06,800
Speaker 1: Take your time with this. I've had some loved ones

959
01:00:06,920 --> 01:00:11,920
Speaker 1: and some strangers read through the manuscript and it can

960
01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:17,400
Speaker 1: be activating. You'll see there's a lengthy author's note at

961
01:00:17,400 --> 01:00:22,120
Speaker 1: the beginning, so just take your time with it, and

962
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:25,920
Speaker 1: if a section is too activating, you can skip or

963
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:29,120
Speaker 1: come back to it when you feel more resourced. So

964
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:32,520
Speaker 1: you know, buckle up, take care, and go slowly.

965
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:37,480
Speaker 2: Allison stoner. Everyone, thank you so much for being on

966
01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:41,360
Speaker 2: Wide Open. You really are I cannot believe it's the

967
01:00:41,360 --> 01:00:44,400
Speaker 2: first time we've met your energy like I've known you

968
01:00:44,440 --> 01:00:45,880
Speaker 2: in another lifetime.

969
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:46,160
Speaker 3: Right, I know.

970
01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:50,160
Speaker 2: Well there's a lot of overlap, yes, a lot. Well,

971
01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:54,640
Speaker 2: thank you so much for being so vulnerable and really

972
01:00:54,760 --> 01:00:59,200
Speaker 2: like pushing for change like that is purpose and that

973
01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:02,800
Speaker 2: is power and your bravery gives me a lot of strengths.

974
01:01:02,840 --> 01:01:06,560
Speaker 2: So thank you for being here. Everyone order this book

975
01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:09,440
Speaker 2: because it's going to be it's gonna be important, it's

976
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:11,480
Speaker 2: going to be life changing for a lot of people

977
01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:13,520
Speaker 2: who have experienced.

978
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:15,680
Speaker 1: Might be the end of me in my professional career,

979
01:01:15,720 --> 01:01:16,439
Speaker 1: we don't know yet.

980
01:01:17,480 --> 01:01:20,280
Speaker 2: Well, thank you again for coming, Thanks everyone for tuning in,

981
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:22,800
Speaker 2: and we'll see you next week on another episode of

982
01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:30,440
Speaker 2: Wide Open with Ashland Harris. Wide Open with Ashlin Harris

983
01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:34,000
Speaker 2: is an iHeart women's sports production. You can find us

984
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:37,880
Speaker 2: on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get

985
01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:43,640
Speaker 2: your podcasts. Our producers are Carmen Borca Correo, Emily Maronov,

986
01:01:43,920 --> 01:01:49,720
Speaker 2: and Lucy Jones. Production assistants from Malia Aguidello. Our executive

987
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:54,440
Speaker 2: producers are Jesse Katz, Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder. Our

988
01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:58,120
Speaker 2: editors are Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder and I'm your

989
01:01:58,160 --> 01:01:59,760
Speaker 2: host Ashlyn Harris.

990
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:01,760
Speaker 1: I never walking