1 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:05,680 Speaker 1: It wasn't about my duarter performing well so that I 2 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:07,720 Speaker 1: could feel great. It was about helping her to be 3 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:09,920 Speaker 1: the best you can be, helping them grow as a person. 4 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,480 Speaker 1: If the child wants more, if the child wants to 5 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: get better, they will pursue it. If you're pushing them 6 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:21,279 Speaker 1: and always pushing them to have to practice the theft 7 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:26,840 Speaker 1: to work hard, then they don't really love it. This 8 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:30,160 Speaker 1: is the Reformed Sports Project, a podcast about restoring healthy 9 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,680 Speaker 1: balance and perspective in all areas of sports and education 10 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:40,479 Speaker 1: and advocacy. Hi, this is Nick Bonacore from the Reformed 11 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,840 Speaker 1: Sports Project podcast. Joining me today is John Gordon, best 12 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,920 Speaker 1: selling author and keynote speaker who's been featured on numerous 13 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:50,000 Speaker 1: networks and TV shows like The Today Show, CNBC, and 14 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,960 Speaker 1: Fox and Friends. He's also been featured in many magazines 15 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:56,840 Speaker 1: and newspapers. His principles on leadership, teamwork, and culture have 16 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,760 Speaker 1: been put to the test by numerous Fortune five companies, 17 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:05,360 Speaker 1: per feshional in college sports teams, school districts, hospitals, and nonprofits. Man, 18 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,800 Speaker 1: I'm extra charged up today. I got another awesome guest. 19 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,160 Speaker 1: I'm just really honor and privileged to have him, John Gordon, 20 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 1: John thanks so much for hopping on man, and they're 21 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 1: great to be with you. I love your content, love 22 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,760 Speaker 1: the message you put out there, and I'd like to 23 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 1: start here. You know, we're talking to parents, sports parents, 24 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:20,959 Speaker 1: you know, young athletes. When you look at a culture 25 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 1: of youth sports today as a parent, as someone I 26 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 1: would assume that played sports at some point, what are 27 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 1: some things that callege concerned in the culture that we 28 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:30,640 Speaker 1: see today. Well, I'm the parent of a twenty two 29 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: year old and a twenty year old, and my son 30 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:36,560 Speaker 1: was a tennis player. My daughter played lacrosse, so I 31 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 1: went through that. I was a youth sports parent. I 32 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 1: also played lacrosse in college. I played football and high 33 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 1: school and basketball throughout my life. So I understand sports 34 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:51,360 Speaker 1: and I'm concerned and how we respond to the entire situation. 35 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: I mean, the way we're responding to everything, the way 36 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 1: we handle games, the way we put pressure from the kids. 37 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: I want people to know I speak from experience, because 38 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 1: early on, when my kids were young, I was one 39 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 1: of those fanatical parents. I actually put a lot of 40 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,440 Speaker 1: pressure on my kids. I almost ruined my daughter giving 41 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,919 Speaker 1: up across because I was so negative and I was 42 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 1: always pushing her too hard because I played across in college, 43 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,520 Speaker 1: so I wanted her to be great like I was, 44 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:16,640 Speaker 1: and I put too much pressure on her, so she 45 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:20,360 Speaker 1: almost quit. My wife actually started talking to her encourage 46 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,360 Speaker 1: her to stay on. We talked. I actually read a 47 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:26,399 Speaker 1: great book by Joe Erman called Inside Out Coaching, which 48 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 1: was all about being a transformational parent instead of being 49 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:32,679 Speaker 1: a transactional and a transformational coach. It wasn't about my 50 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 1: daughter performing well so that I could feel great. It 51 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 1: was about helping her be the best she can be, 52 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 1: helping her grow as a person, and so I started 53 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:43,040 Speaker 1: to do that. I started to encourage her. I changed dramatically, 54 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:46,040 Speaker 1: and as a result of that, my daughter then thrived 55 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,399 Speaker 1: as of a crosse player. My son did a lot 56 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 1: better in tennis to my encouragement of him. But early 57 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 1: on I was that parent, and I see too many 58 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 1: parents acting the way I did. They haven't learned, they 59 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,080 Speaker 1: haven't grown, and so I think we're putting too much 60 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,639 Speaker 1: pressure on the kids today. I think the coaches think 61 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,560 Speaker 1: they're actually pro coaches at times, the way they're driving 62 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,640 Speaker 1: these kids to perform at a level that is all 63 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:10,800 Speaker 1: about winning rather than having fun, rather than enjoying the process, 64 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 1: and the most important thing we can do right now 65 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,520 Speaker 1: in use sports is to help these kids have fun. 66 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,919 Speaker 1: The amount of these kids that are actually going to 67 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,919 Speaker 1: go on to play college or pro are so small 68 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,359 Speaker 1: that really it's about making sure that we help them 69 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,040 Speaker 1: have fun, make sure that they are learning and growing, 70 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 1: make sure that they learn how to be a great teammate. 71 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,520 Speaker 1: And if we do that and they have the skill, 72 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,639 Speaker 1: they have the talent, they're gonna go on to play. 73 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,240 Speaker 1: You know who's good enough, you know, as the talent, 74 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 1: that person will go on. I think we have to 75 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: stop acting like our kids gonna be the next Tiger 76 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 1: Woods and Tim Tebow. Let him have fun, let him 77 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 1: enjoy the process. And if we can do that as parents, 78 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,720 Speaker 1: they're gonna have more fun and we will enjoy the 79 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,920 Speaker 1: process a lot more. Well. I love how you said. 80 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,120 Speaker 1: And the name reforms sports doesn't come from nowhere. I mean, 81 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 1: there was a time I'm going to the field my 82 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 1: son's eight, you nine, you baseball games, and I'm thinking, 83 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 1: I'm Joe Tory. It was just all about me, you know, 84 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 1: like my son did well, and you know, we're isn't 85 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:01,880 Speaker 1: even about being happy for him. But I felt like 86 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 1: it was more about me. I was almost like I 87 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 1: was gauging my success or lack thereof as a parent, 88 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:09,160 Speaker 1: tying that to my son's performance in sport. And it 89 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,160 Speaker 1: became a little crazy. Thank goodness, like you said, I 90 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 1: became aware of it. But oftentimes I hear parents go 91 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 1: back and forth. And fortunately I played collegiately a little 92 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 1: bit professionally, and I've had done a lot of these interviews. 93 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 1: And you know a lot of parents coach their kids, 94 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,680 Speaker 1: specifically at the youth level. You know you need some volunteers, 95 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 1: so it's it's difficult at times to separate that parent 96 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 1: coach relationship right that car ride. Can you talk a 97 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,560 Speaker 1: little bit about how you separate, because it's most important. 98 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,479 Speaker 1: I hear from every college coach to be dad or 99 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,720 Speaker 1: mom first, Let the coaches coach. Can you talk a 100 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,880 Speaker 1: little bit about how parents can work through that on 101 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 1: the car right home? No matter what, whether you're a 102 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:44,040 Speaker 1: coach or parent, you should not talk about their performance. 103 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,599 Speaker 1: You should not talk about how they played. There shouldn't 104 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:49,240 Speaker 1: even be a conversation about that. It should be about 105 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:51,599 Speaker 1: the Jeff fun and that's it and then move on. 106 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 1: And what I learned is in the future. If you 107 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 1: want to give advice, or if you're working out in 108 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,360 Speaker 1: the yard, you're practicing, you say, hey, can I give 109 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,640 Speaker 1: you some suggestions? Are you open to something? Are you 110 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 1: open to listening? Can I tell you something? I have 111 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,400 Speaker 1: an idea? And you ask permission first, and if you 112 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:08,120 Speaker 1: get permission, then you can speak. But if they don't 113 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 1: want to hear from it, don't speak without asking first. 114 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,440 Speaker 1: And that was a rule that a good friend of mine, 115 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,600 Speaker 1: Dan Britton, taught me, and I basically did that with 116 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,839 Speaker 1: with my daughter and son. And sometimes they would say 117 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:18,919 Speaker 1: yeah that I'm not I'm not interested in what you 118 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 1: have to say. No, you don't have permission, or they'd 119 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: say yeah that I'm open tell me and so you 120 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,360 Speaker 1: ask permission and then you can speak into it. If 121 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,600 Speaker 1: you're a coach and you're working with your child that 122 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:31,160 Speaker 1: you're their coach, then you really got to work and 123 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:33,520 Speaker 1: making it even more fun because you don't want to 124 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 1: get that relationship messed up. From a parenting standpoint to 125 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,680 Speaker 1: a coaching standpoint, you really could affect your relationship when 126 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,559 Speaker 1: they start seeing you as a coach not as a parent, 127 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 1: when they start to see how their performances tied whether 128 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,080 Speaker 1: you love them or not. They need to know that 129 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:49,320 Speaker 1: you love them unconditionally no matter what. So for me, 130 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,760 Speaker 1: that could be very confusing in that regard. But if 131 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 1: as a coach, the goal is to help them become 132 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 1: the best that they can be, the best person they 133 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,600 Speaker 1: can be, to help grow and learn and improve and 134 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,160 Speaker 1: whatever it is, I think that's the goal and that 135 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 1: that's that's really where you just have to have great 136 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 1: conversations with your child and talk about you know, what 137 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,520 Speaker 1: their goals are and what they want. But that's at 138 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,479 Speaker 1: the older level, when they're younger again, up until you're 139 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 1: like in high school, it should just all be about 140 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,839 Speaker 1: fun and learning and growing. If the child wants more, 141 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,800 Speaker 1: if the child wants to get better, they will pursue it. 142 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,800 Speaker 1: If you're pushing them and always pushing them to have 143 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,719 Speaker 1: to practice and have to work hard, then they don't 144 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 1: really love it. They really don't know. If you say, hey, 145 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,320 Speaker 1: let's go out and play. Hey you want to go 146 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,080 Speaker 1: through the ball round, Hey you want to go hit 147 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 1: and you do that, well, guess what. The more you 148 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,600 Speaker 1: do that, the more they're gonna love it. They're gonna 149 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,760 Speaker 1: the more they're gonna get better at it. If you're like, hey, 150 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 1: we're gonna work on that swing today, that's probably not 151 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,040 Speaker 1: the best way to approach it. But if you say, hey, 152 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,599 Speaker 1: you want to go through the ball around, you want 153 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,039 Speaker 1: to go you wanna go hit some home runs, or 154 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,480 Speaker 1: you want to go hit some singles, you want to 155 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,680 Speaker 1: go do this, then they're gonna be more likely to 156 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:52,000 Speaker 1: do it. I read about Archie Manning Payton Manning's father 157 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,719 Speaker 1: and Eli Manning's father, and he like, say, hey, let's 158 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 1: go through the ball around. He didn't say let's let's 159 00:06:56,880 --> 00:07:00,000 Speaker 1: work on your throws. Basically, the kids just loves football 160 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,800 Speaker 1: and and play, and he found coaches who would coach 161 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 1: him and encourage them, and it was a great dynamics. 162 00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 1: So it's not like they needed Archie Manning to become 163 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,160 Speaker 1: great NFL players, you know. But there's this culture in 164 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 1: travel sports where it's the race to the head start. 165 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,440 Speaker 1: John wi Sellivan from Changing the Game Project, I quote 166 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 1: him as saying, that's it's this race to the head start, 167 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:20,320 Speaker 1: Like we're chasing this college scholarship. So oftentimes if our 168 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,640 Speaker 1: kids aren't starting on a team, it's like okay, well, 169 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 1: well we gotta put them on another team. It's all 170 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 1: about instant gratification. Not many opportunities out there now. And 171 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 1: I have six kids, so I see it for our 172 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,920 Speaker 1: kids to face adversity, and God forbid we they do. 173 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,240 Speaker 1: We gotta, we gotta steer them in a different direction. 174 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 1: And not every parent right, but no one wants to 175 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 1: see their kids struggle. No one wants to see their 176 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,360 Speaker 1: kid be uncomfortable. But every college coach I talked to, 177 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,560 Speaker 1: every pro athlete, I talked to Trent Dilfer, just like 178 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 1: you did. And you gotta like kids. They gotta feel it, 179 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,559 Speaker 1: they gotta learn. Can you talk a little bit about 180 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,920 Speaker 1: how can you use love while allowing your kid to 181 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 1: experience adversity? Are those two intertwined somehow? From a parenting standpoint, Well, 182 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 1: you love you child, you don't want the best for them, 183 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 1: but you also know they have to go through their 184 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 1: own challenges and ruggles to become all they meant to be. 185 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 1: So a big part of this is having to go 186 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 1: through adversity. But I want to back up for a second. 187 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,240 Speaker 1: Can talk about the club culture. That's something we do 188 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: have to work on and improve because too many clubs 189 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 1: it's about the club owner or the club president. It's 190 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 1: not about the players. It's all about them. Sometimes you 191 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 1: have a club president or a guy who runs the 192 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,559 Speaker 1: club where husband wife runs it, and it's all about 193 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 1: their kids. And they're so focused on their kids that 194 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,520 Speaker 1: you have issues with other kids getting playing time, and 195 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 1: you have a lot of politics involved. That's one of 196 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: the frustrating things I see at the club levels. There 197 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 1: are a lot there's a lot of politics. Sometimes you 198 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: have too many kids on a club team, so they're 199 00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 1: not getting the amount of playing time that they need 200 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,520 Speaker 1: to get. And there's so much pressure on these kids 201 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,959 Speaker 1: to actually go play in college that it becomes very irrational. 202 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,079 Speaker 1: Like I think about my daughter's lacrosse team, there was 203 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 1: so much pressure about who was getting recruited by who, 204 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:51,560 Speaker 1: who was going to wit college, And as that went on, 205 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,960 Speaker 1: kids were signing to go to schools just so they 206 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,079 Speaker 1: can say that they signed. Whereas my daughter, towards the end, 207 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: made it clear to me that she did not want 208 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,560 Speaker 1: to play in college, and we've decided that when she 209 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 1: was looking, she was only gonna play at a school 210 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,440 Speaker 1: that she wanted to go to. But if the school 211 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 1: didn't have lacrosse, that was her no more parties, So 212 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,960 Speaker 1: she wouldn't play in college if it was the right choice, 213 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 1: but if not, and she can go to a school 214 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 1: that she wanted to go to it I didn't have lacrosse, 215 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:16,600 Speaker 1: and she was gonna go there because we said, whatever, 216 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:19,079 Speaker 1: did you get hurt and you pick a school just 217 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,640 Speaker 1: based on lacrosse. So that was our litmus test. If 218 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: you would still go there even if you got hurt, 219 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:25,840 Speaker 1: then that's where you should go. But don't just go 220 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:28,400 Speaker 1: to somewhere because you want to play lacrosse there, or 221 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:30,640 Speaker 1: because it has a lacrosse program, or just because that's 222 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:32,800 Speaker 1: the one coach that's giving you a shot. And so 223 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,440 Speaker 1: we made it very clear that there was gonna be 224 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,800 Speaker 1: college first, not lacrosse first, and that let her go 225 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 1: to Clemson University that did not have a little cross program. 226 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 1: And she made that choice, but we saw girls on 227 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,280 Speaker 1: her team that were making all these choices. I would 228 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 1: say about eight percent of those girls did not finish 229 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:52,079 Speaker 1: playing lacrosse at that college, actually transferred from the school 230 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 1: that they went to and are not evenna play a 231 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:57,000 Speaker 1: lacrosse now. And I looked back and I remember the 232 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,320 Speaker 1: parents being all stressed out and the club parents being 233 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:02,160 Speaker 1: all stressed out. And everyone gets just swept up in 234 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,400 Speaker 1: the emotion and the pressure and the collective kind of 235 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,400 Speaker 1: you know, societal pressure of my kid has to do this, 236 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 1: because this is what it's all about. And I think 237 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:11,959 Speaker 1: we have to take a step back from the club 238 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 1: level again and say, if your child is good enough 239 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,880 Speaker 1: and they have the talent, they're gonna be found. They're 240 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,840 Speaker 1: gonna get an opportunity. Like, don't stress about it. Not 241 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,600 Speaker 1: many kids are gonna get a scholarship. Most kids at 242 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 1: the college level, even if on the men's side, do 243 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:29,320 Speaker 1: not get full scholarships. This Courter Scholarships has scholarships, so forth, 244 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 1: there's not a lot of full rides going around unless 245 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 1: you're like a phenomenal goal you're one of the best 246 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 1: players in the country. And if your kids one of 247 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 1: the best players in the country, well good, then you're 248 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,240 Speaker 1: gonna get that scholarship. But we'll know that your kids 249 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,320 Speaker 1: one of the best in the country. For most of us, 250 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:43,440 Speaker 1: we're gonna be a realistic like my daughter was good, 251 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,520 Speaker 1: she wasn't great. She would have been on a Division 252 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,720 Speaker 1: one team at a lower Division one level and being 253 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,080 Speaker 1: able to play or set the bench on a top 254 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: D one level and would have been miserable. So we 255 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: really made the right decision. And I think so many 256 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 1: people are making the wrong decisions based on the pressure. 257 00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,360 Speaker 1: So back up from that. And then when you're going 258 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 1: through the club process and you are facing real adversity, 259 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,440 Speaker 1: real challenge because maybe you do have to get better, 260 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,840 Speaker 1: maybe you do have to improve, maybe you don't play well, 261 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,360 Speaker 1: then that's a great time to to love your child 262 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,479 Speaker 1: and let him go through the struggle and the adversity 263 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,680 Speaker 1: in order to learn and grow, knowing it has to 264 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 1: be part of their growth process. Don't switch clubs if 265 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 1: it's because maybe you're not playing us. Switch if there's 266 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:24,000 Speaker 1: a lot of politics. If you're not playing for the 267 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,040 Speaker 1: right reasons, and there's a way that you can actually 268 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 1: work harder, improve and get more playing time, well then 269 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,640 Speaker 1: you know that's that's a good struggle that you have 270 00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 1: to work towards and work for that will actually make 271 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:34,120 Speaker 1: you better. So I think you have to look at 272 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 1: why the decisions are being made, and then with decisions, 273 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:40,400 Speaker 1: you need to make the counter that that's John Gordon, 274 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 1: best selling author and keynote speaker. When we come back, 275 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:47,240 Speaker 1: John and I will discuss egos and the importance of competitiveness. 276 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:57,360 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Reformed Sports Project podcast where John 277 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,480 Speaker 1: Gordon and I left off we were about to die 278 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:03,880 Speaker 1: further to parent egos and the importance coaches put on competitiveness. 279 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 1: I'm thinking back in my perspective and how I started 280 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,240 Speaker 1: the shift from you know, i'd like to call it 281 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,760 Speaker 1: unreformed to now we're like, wow, it's not about me. 282 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 1: You know, this is not my journey. I had my time, 283 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 1: it's my kid's journey, and my ego was involved. What 284 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:19,560 Speaker 1: are some tips because I don't think I ask enough 285 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 1: questions and I think, you know, this is kind of 286 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,520 Speaker 1: your space, but ego, you know, keeping up with the jones. 287 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,840 Speaker 1: How can parents have a headstart on recognizing because listen, 288 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,480 Speaker 1: I don't want to be told how to parent, but 289 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 1: I will listen to someone else's experience, and I may 290 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,199 Speaker 1: be able to make my own decisions based off of 291 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:36,160 Speaker 1: someone else's experience. So I'm open minded, but I don't 292 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,200 Speaker 1: want someone speaking down, you know, telling me that I'm 293 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,360 Speaker 1: need to change. So I can appreciate people that don't 294 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 1: want to be told that. But what are some tips 295 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,840 Speaker 1: that parents can maybe see where it can be recognized 296 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:47,360 Speaker 1: that their ego might be involved. They don't even realize 297 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 1: that they're living vicariously through their kids. Well, if you're 298 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,040 Speaker 1: putting pressure on your kid and then your egos involved. 299 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 1: If you're putting pressure on them performing, if you're talking 300 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: about the scholarship and you're talking about playing in college 301 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,040 Speaker 1: matters more to you than it does to them, then 302 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,200 Speaker 1: your ego is involved. And we know a lot of 303 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,000 Speaker 1: parents that are actually doing that. I talked to college 304 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,640 Speaker 1: level athletes and I'll talk to teams, and they still 305 00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:12,240 Speaker 1: feel the pressure of their parents even when they're in college. 306 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,320 Speaker 1: It's their journey, it's not your journey. And so I 307 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,760 Speaker 1: think you have to take a step back and recognize 308 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:20,400 Speaker 1: that this is about them. It's about their growth, It's 309 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,800 Speaker 1: about whether they love the sport. They have to own it. 310 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:25,120 Speaker 1: They can't be playing for you. They have to own it. 311 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,520 Speaker 1: And really, this isn't about you. And I think that 312 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:30,440 Speaker 1: if you're finding yourself getting stressed, if you're finding yourself 313 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:34,000 Speaker 1: getting fearful, if you're losing sleep and worried about it, 314 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,840 Speaker 1: and then it is your ego that involved. If your 315 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:40,360 Speaker 1: relaxed and you trust in the process, you have faith, 316 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,160 Speaker 1: And for me, it's trusting in God. Then at that 317 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,800 Speaker 1: point you know that your ego is not involved. Again, 318 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 1: I want to say earlier on in this club situation, 319 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:49,920 Speaker 1: I was the guy that was, you know now no 320 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,240 Speaker 1: longer putting pressure on my daughter, but now I was 321 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,319 Speaker 1: frustrated that when she was playing, she didn't get enough 322 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,199 Speaker 1: playing time because they had too many girls on the team. 323 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,560 Speaker 1: And then in that one run that she's playing in, 324 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,200 Speaker 1: notice coaches are watching and she played great in this 325 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,599 Speaker 1: one moment and none of the coaches were watching. I 326 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 1: found myself watching the college coaches to see that they 327 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,480 Speaker 1: weren't watching in that moment. Or you know, again, the 328 00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:13,079 Speaker 1: ref makes a bad call or winds up doing something 329 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,560 Speaker 1: that hurts my daughter's opportunity that moment, and I'm so 330 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:19,800 Speaker 1: frustrated stress in that moment that I'm literally recognizing to myself, 331 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,800 Speaker 1: this is not healthy. So I'm a reformed parent as 332 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:25,120 Speaker 1: well on the journey. And I think because we went 333 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 1: through it, we learned, and we know it. We're not 334 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,640 Speaker 1: condemning these parents were not perfect, but we do have 335 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:31,400 Speaker 1: to educate them and we do have to help them 336 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,320 Speaker 1: because we don't want them to be like we were, 337 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 1: and we don't want them to continue being like we 338 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,480 Speaker 1: were in the past. We want them to all reform 339 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,960 Speaker 1: because they need to for their own health and then 340 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,160 Speaker 1: their kids health as well. At the high school level, 341 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,520 Speaker 1: like my biggest challenge was again no longer my daughter, 342 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:48,280 Speaker 1: no longer, the coaches, no longer again in high school 343 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 1: with a lot of fun because there wasn't pressure from 344 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,520 Speaker 1: the college standpoint all that, and it was more about 345 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:56,360 Speaker 1: just for me. It was referees. Gets so frustrated with 346 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 1: all the bad calls and the referees, and so we 347 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,600 Speaker 1: had this thing where, you know, I had an alter 348 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,800 Speaker 1: ego named Joey Bagan Donuts and Joey Bagan Donuts with 349 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,120 Speaker 1: yell when they make bad calls, and all the parents 350 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,000 Speaker 1: around me when they look over and like, aren't you 351 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 1: this writer of like positive stuff, I said, oh, yeah, 352 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:13,880 Speaker 1: that's John. This is Joey. This is nuts. So they 353 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 1: all started calling me Joey, and then I realized, Okay. 354 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,640 Speaker 1: Then I got on the board of the Positive Coaching Alliance, 355 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,840 Speaker 1: so I knew I had to stop write them there. 356 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,320 Speaker 1: So I made sure I was like, all right, I 357 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,440 Speaker 1: can't even get bad at reffs anymore. I gotta be 358 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,960 Speaker 1: totally positive. So now I would be like positive. I 359 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,240 Speaker 1: would just sit there, I would watch, not say a 360 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 1: word about anything, and all the parents like what happened 361 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,640 Speaker 1: to Joey. I'm like, Joey died, He's gone. Joey's gone. 362 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:37,400 Speaker 1: And from that moment on, I excellently Because of that, 363 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,120 Speaker 1: I enjoyed the moment so much more. I enjoyed watching 364 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:43,040 Speaker 1: to play. I enjoyed not being stressed about the outcome. 365 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:45,560 Speaker 1: I enjoyed just the whole thing. And so it became 366 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:47,520 Speaker 1: a much more enjoyable experience. And I know, I know 367 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,520 Speaker 1: parents watch so much more fun when they stopped worrying 368 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,600 Speaker 1: about the outcome of the games, the outcome of whether 369 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,640 Speaker 1: their kid's gonna go to school, and the outcome of 370 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:57,000 Speaker 1: whether they're gonna start or not. Just help them become 371 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 1: a better person, helped them grow, helped them learn, help 372 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,800 Speaker 1: them improve. The purpose of sports remembers to make you 373 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,480 Speaker 1: a better human being. And if we focus on that 374 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:09,120 Speaker 1: everything else, what they can itself. John last question, We're 375 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,840 Speaker 1: gonna have a lot of student athletes, you know, that 376 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,720 Speaker 1: will listen to us, that are looking for tips as well. 377 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: The word that comes up the most when I talked 378 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,480 Speaker 1: to college coaches, and I always ask him what are 379 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,000 Speaker 1: you looking for? And of course, you know, depending on 380 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,920 Speaker 1: the level you know, of course you need certain talents, 381 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,920 Speaker 1: you know, all the physical gifts. But the word that 382 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:25,680 Speaker 1: comes up the most is competitiveness. Competition. They want kids 383 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:27,600 Speaker 1: that want to compete. Can you talk a little bit 384 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:30,480 Speaker 1: about what kids can do to help themselves become more 385 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 1: competitive or work on their competitiveness. For me, it's about 386 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,480 Speaker 1: being a great teammate. Like, if you're a great teammate, 387 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,720 Speaker 1: you're gonna do everything you can to be your best 388 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,160 Speaker 1: for the team, and that competition is going to come 389 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,360 Speaker 1: out because you want to be best your best for others. 390 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:45,120 Speaker 1: I wrote a book called The Hard Act based on 391 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 1: the life of George Boyarty who died playing lacrosse at 392 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,040 Speaker 1: twenty two years old for Quinnell University. And he was 393 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,240 Speaker 1: hitting the chest with a ball and died on the field. 394 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,040 Speaker 1: And he was one of the greatest teammates to ever live. 395 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,720 Speaker 1: And I wrote this book. All the proceeds go to 396 00:16:56,760 --> 00:17:00,280 Speaker 1: his foundation from the book. And he was really the 397 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,080 Speaker 1: greatest teammate and because of the way he carried himself. 398 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:06,000 Speaker 1: He was competitive, he worked hard, he loved his team, 399 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:09,440 Speaker 1: he was selfless, he was loyal, He didn't care about stats, 400 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 1: And I think that's what you want for a player 401 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,919 Speaker 1: on your team. You want someone who is all about 402 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,320 Speaker 1: putting the team first. They will do whatever it takes 403 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,560 Speaker 1: to help the team be their best. And when you 404 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,919 Speaker 1: help the team improve, you improve. When you help the 405 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:24,720 Speaker 1: team grow, you grow. So to me, being competitive is 406 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,199 Speaker 1: about doing whatever it takes to help the team be 407 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,440 Speaker 1: their best. And that's the kind of composition you want. 408 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:30,760 Speaker 1: So if you need me to get a ground ball, 409 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,399 Speaker 1: I'm going after a ground ball. If you need me 410 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,560 Speaker 1: to play tough defense, I'm gonna play tough defense. If 411 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:36,119 Speaker 1: you need to run up and down the field, you know, 412 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:37,840 Speaker 1: as hard as I can, that's what I'm gonna do. 413 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,240 Speaker 1: So to me, that's what it's about. Whatever it takes 414 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,560 Speaker 1: tilp the team get better and giving your roll to 415 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,200 Speaker 1: the team, focusing on we that made. That's the kind 416 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,080 Speaker 1: of player I'm looking for. That's who what I would 417 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,800 Speaker 1: want on my team. John Gordon, this has been awesome. 418 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,720 Speaker 1: Could you tell the audience where you're at, where they 419 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:53,640 Speaker 1: can find you, where they can find your books material, 420 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,359 Speaker 1: all that stuff they're going to John Gordon dot com, 421 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,840 Speaker 1: j O. N. Gordon dot com on Twitter, Instagram and 422 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,480 Speaker 1: j O N. Gordon eleven. I'm always sharing tips and 423 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,760 Speaker 1: information and I think you know, if you're looking for 424 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,120 Speaker 1: a book for one of your student athletes. Training Camp 425 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,399 Speaker 1: is is definitely my favorite about what the best do 426 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,919 Speaker 1: better than everyone else. But it's really about striving to 427 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,479 Speaker 1: be the best you can be, not being better than 428 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,480 Speaker 1: anyone else. Hard Hat is great for being a great teammate. 429 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:20,160 Speaker 1: And then you went in the locker room. If you're 430 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,800 Speaker 1: a coach and you really want to build a winning 431 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,879 Speaker 1: team or the Power of Repositive team, how do you 432 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:25,720 Speaker 1: get a team to come together that wrote the Power 433 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,800 Speaker 1: of Repositive Team to really be a great team, shared vision, 434 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:33,480 Speaker 1: focus and purpose, connecting committed, making sure have difficult conversations, 435 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,720 Speaker 1: making sure you're putting the team first. I think every 436 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,080 Speaker 1: team should really read that book to really understand what 437 00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:39,840 Speaker 1: it takes to be a great team. And I think 438 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,919 Speaker 1: again a club sport, going back to that, there's so 439 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,920 Speaker 1: much focus with parents on the individual and it's all 440 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,840 Speaker 1: about their child, and so learning from the tennis world 441 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,720 Speaker 1: where my son was that's the case. I mean, your 442 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,000 Speaker 1: son is an individual athlete, but you go to this 443 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,600 Speaker 1: team sport and you have the same mindset as if 444 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,560 Speaker 1: it's an individual sport. The parents are the same as 445 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 1: like it's tennis. The best thing you can do is 446 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:02,359 Speaker 1: to teach your kids out to be a great teammates. 447 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 1: And if they're a great teammate who works hard and 448 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 1: gets better every day for their team, they're gonna get 449 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,600 Speaker 1: better themselves and they're gonna be great leaders in the process. 450 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,679 Speaker 1: So just remember that, parents, it's not about them in 451 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,840 Speaker 1: that moment it seems like it is. Do you really 452 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 1: want to help them thrive in this world? They're gonna 453 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,880 Speaker 1: learn have to learn how to lead others in the process. 454 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:25,000 Speaker 1: That's John Gordon, best selling author and keynote speakers. Thanks 455 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,920 Speaker 1: for listening to The Reformed Sports Project podcast dom Nick 456 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,439 Speaker 1: Bonacore and Our goal is to restore a healthy balance 457 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:34,720 Speaker 1: and perspective in all areas of sports through education and advocacy. 458 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:38,880 Speaker 1: For updates, please follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, 459 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,280 Speaker 1: or check out our website by searching for the Reformed 460 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:42,080 Speaker 1: Sports Project.