WEBVTT - #118 Will you ever be good enough? 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:03.080 You're not good enough, man. You you will never be 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:06.600 good enough. You cannot do good enough. You will fall 0:00:06.640 --> 0:00:10.840 short every time. This is this is you're talking about religion. 0:00:10.960 --> 0:00:21.400 Erase that word from your vocabulary, because religion is man made. 0:00:26.120 --> 0:00:28.639 What's up, guys, Welcome back to the podcast. Thank you 0:00:28.680 --> 0:00:32.840 for joining us each and every Monday morning. Returning guest 0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:36.520 Bernie Calcote sitting with us again, dude, thanks for being back. 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:39.920 Happy New Year, Happy new Year. Yeah twenty twenty two. Yeah, 0:00:39.960 --> 0:00:45.159 we're here, dude. Thank you for guys. Bernie drives like 0:00:45.159 --> 0:00:47.600 an hour to come here to do this, and you've 0:00:47.600 --> 0:00:51.599 done countless episodes helping me through this, walking through this, 0:00:52.280 --> 0:00:55.360 So dude, just thank you for coming up here on 0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:58.560 a weekday. I know you have family and work and 0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:00.880 a lot and every thing else you got going on 0:01:00.920 --> 0:01:03.400 in your life. And you choose to drive an hour, 0:01:03.520 --> 0:01:05.240 be on the podcast for an hour, drive back for 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:07.399 an hour. That's a really big deal to me. I 0:01:07.440 --> 0:01:10.600 was thinking about that this morning, So thank you. Yeah. Absolutely, 0:01:10.680 --> 0:01:14.280 It's a privilege, man, It's a privilege, and I don't 0:01:14.280 --> 0:01:17.240 take it lightly either. So you know, every time that 0:01:17.880 --> 0:01:21.320 an opportunity kind of presents itself, you got to take 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:23.080 advantage of it because you never know when the next 0:01:23.080 --> 0:01:25.039 one will come. You know. Yeah, we're Bernie and I 0:01:25.120 --> 0:01:28.840 go back two decades at least. Now we're over two 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:32.240 decades of being friends. I trust him. I trust him 0:01:32.240 --> 0:01:35.959 with any question I have in life. And so that's 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:37.640 why I like to bring him on the podcast, because 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:40.520 I trust that he's going to give you guys, the 0:01:40.560 --> 0:01:43.240 same advice that he would give me. And that's what 0:01:43.280 --> 0:01:46.160 we do here. That's the nature of this podcast is 0:01:46.200 --> 0:01:49.680 we answer your questions as if we're sitting around a campfire. 0:01:49.760 --> 0:01:52.640 We're just you know, the night's getting late. Bernie and 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:55.360 I are sitting in you know, on two stumps, and 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:58.400 you walk up, you the listener, walk up and go, hey, 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:01.760 could I could I ask you guys something? And we 0:02:01.800 --> 0:02:04.600 don't have a timeframe, we don't have a limit of 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:06.840 how quick we have to say it. We just go, yeah, 0:02:07.040 --> 0:02:09.840 what you got and you could ask us anything. It 0:02:09.840 --> 0:02:13.960 could be about life or love or careers or money 0:02:14.160 --> 0:02:17.639 or whatever the subject might be you ask us. We'll 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:20.280 walk through it. We're not always right, but we'll give 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:22.919 it to you straight. We'll shoot you straight. Sometimes it 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:25.240 might be a little tough, love, but we'll give it 0:02:25.280 --> 0:02:27.880 to you the best that we know. How, take that 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:30.360 with a grain of salt. If you have a question, 0:02:30.480 --> 0:02:34.240 email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. I've noticed over 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:38.400 the last year, and maybe even you know prior to that. 0:02:39.200 --> 0:02:41.720 I mean, you guys are bringing the heat with your 0:02:41.760 --> 0:02:46.880 questions these days, some hum dingers and we're like, whoa, Okay, 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:50.840 we got more of that today. Okay, well that's great. 0:02:50.919 --> 0:02:53.000 I haven't done I haven't looked at these very much 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:55.920 besides just skim them and throw them into a folder. 0:02:56.560 --> 0:02:59.560 And Bernie, you have your own folder now because people 0:02:59.600 --> 0:03:02.200 love you on this podcast. But that's what we do. 0:03:02.240 --> 0:03:03.480 I throw them in here. We don't have notes. You 0:03:03.480 --> 0:03:05.960 could see our table if you're watching on Spotify or YouTube, 0:03:05.960 --> 0:03:08.720 you see we don't have notes or quotes or anything 0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:10.600 like that. So we're just gonna walk through it as 0:03:10.639 --> 0:03:13.520 it comes. So let's get into it. So before we 0:03:13.520 --> 0:03:16.560 get started, I had this thought as I was driving 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:20.720 up here, which that space you know, on the drive here, 0:03:20.760 --> 0:03:23.880 on the drive back, you know, it's really a time 0:03:23.960 --> 0:03:27.000 of just solitude and the road and anybody out there 0:03:27.040 --> 0:03:32.080 who's you know, driving trucks overnight or just has a 0:03:32.240 --> 0:03:36.600 long commute. You understand what it can be like to 0:03:36.720 --> 0:03:39.600 just be out on the road, have nothing but the 0:03:39.680 --> 0:03:41.400 road in front of you and your thoughts, and be 0:03:41.440 --> 0:03:43.480 able to just kind of sit and think and process 0:03:43.520 --> 0:03:47.680 and everything. So I was listening to the podcast of 0:03:47.760 --> 0:03:51.480 this buddy of mine who's a country singer, and he 0:03:51.560 --> 0:03:55.800 did it by himself last week as you but as 0:03:55.800 --> 0:03:58.119 you were answering these questions, and I know we've talked 0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:02.400 about this before, I started to wonder if each one 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:09.800 of these questions could be answered with three answers and 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:11.960 the first one, and they happened to all start with C. 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:19.600 I didn't plan that, but community, communication, and communion. So 0:04:20.200 --> 0:04:23.080 what's happening in these questions is there's either a lack 0:04:23.160 --> 0:04:28.160 of communication, there's a lack of community, or there's a 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:31.560 lack of communion with God with the scripture, right, So 0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:34.000 I don't know if this is true. I just thought 0:04:34.040 --> 0:04:35.960 about it coming up. So as we're going to go 0:04:36.040 --> 0:04:38.599 into it today, we're gonna see, like, hey, maybe burns 0:04:38.600 --> 0:04:42.520 way off, maybe there's something to those three and maybe 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:44.360 we can kind of dig in and wrestle with that 0:04:44.360 --> 0:04:45.880 a little one. Let's dig into that and we'll call 0:04:45.920 --> 0:04:48.039 it C one, C two, C three all right, and 0:04:48.080 --> 0:04:50.600 see if it falls And if any question or all 0:04:50.680 --> 0:04:52.919 the questions fall into one of those three categories. I 0:04:52.920 --> 0:04:55.320 think that's interesting. Yeah, And I think I think you're 0:04:55.360 --> 0:04:59.120 absolutely right whether there's three or there's four, or there's 0:04:59.160 --> 0:05:02.040 two or I but I do think there are you 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:05.360 could you could list on one hand. I think you're right, 0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:08.160 you could list on one hand the answer to every 0:05:08.480 --> 0:05:12.680 question in life. Yeah, there were some questions last week 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:15.120 that were good, the one about the blue check mark 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:17.880 and like did you comment to the people? I thought 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:20.600 that was really good. And there's some other kind of 0:05:20.680 --> 0:05:24.440 like higher level questions, surface level questions that I think 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:28.760 we would love for you guys to ask, right, because 0:05:28.800 --> 0:05:31.080 before we jump into the deep end, sometimes it's good 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:32.960 to be like, oh yeah, and it's good information for 0:05:32.960 --> 0:05:35.359 everybody to know. And they want to know, you know 0:05:35.600 --> 0:05:40.320 about Granger. Like, hey, so twenty twenty two, here we are. 0:05:41.040 --> 0:05:43.800 What are you excited about this year? Yeah? I got 0:05:43.839 --> 0:05:46.560 I have a that you can talk about because I 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:48.960 know it's I've got some secret things going on and 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:51.280 tell you what about Yeah, but what can you tell 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:53.080 us that you're excited about? So? By the way the 0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:57.080 blue check question you're talking about, that would be communication, right, 0:05:57.120 --> 0:05:59.839 you could put that under that category. Yep. But yeah, 0:05:59.839 --> 0:06:02.960 I'm man, I'm I'm super excited one for this podcast 0:06:03.040 --> 0:06:07.120 going into going into twenty twenty two, with this podcast 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:11.599 really sizzling as far as you know, it's always ranked 0:06:11.720 --> 0:06:14.880 really high on all the podcast rankings now and all 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:18.560 the all the platforms, and it wasn't in twenty twenty one. 0:06:18.560 --> 0:06:21.880 It was like just starting to get heat. So now 0:06:23.360 --> 0:06:28.000 going ahead and fulfilling that the you know, knowing that 0:06:28.040 --> 0:06:31.520 it's a high ranked podcast, fulfilling that and and just 0:06:31.680 --> 0:06:36.279 establishing that more. I think. I don't want to say 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:39.520 there's pressure in that, but there's a responsibility and you 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:41.599 kind of that's what you said earlier. There's there's there's 0:06:41.600 --> 0:06:45.719 a responsibility to fulfill that it's worth of this podcast. 0:06:45.760 --> 0:06:49.680 So I'm super excited about that. And actually, to help 0:06:49.760 --> 0:06:51.760 a little bit, the next question, the one I have 0:06:51.920 --> 0:06:56.599 queued up first, will help with all this, Okay, but yeah, 0:06:56.640 --> 0:06:59.320 so let's dive into it. Your questions Grangersmith podcast at 0:06:59.360 --> 0:07:02.279 gmail dot com. The first one, subject line, this is 0:07:02.279 --> 0:07:05.000 the only one I've read. Subject line says question for 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:09.200 the best podcast ever, like, yeah, yeah, you got me man, 0:07:09.279 --> 0:07:13.160 click bait, you got me, says Hey Granger, I'm wondering 0:07:13.360 --> 0:07:16.680 why you left your record label and moved to a 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:19.400 new one. I love listening to the podcast every Monday 0:07:19.440 --> 0:07:21.800 morning on my way to work. I've listened to every episode. 0:07:22.160 --> 0:07:24.280 Your answers are always so good to help me because 0:07:24.760 --> 0:07:28.560 the best version of myself understand the best version of myself. 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:32.080 Thank you. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. This comes 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:38.680 from Mason in Wisconsin. Ye ye, So Mason has heard 0:07:39.320 --> 0:07:41.240 me talk about somewhere that I left the record label, 0:07:41.360 --> 0:07:45.600 but I did not join a new record label, so 0:07:45.680 --> 0:07:48.480 that Yeah, so I left my record label. And this 0:07:48.640 --> 0:07:50.920 is going to kind of connect to your question Burns, 0:07:50.960 --> 0:07:54.960 but I I just wanted to I've been with the 0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:58.520 record label for for several years. Now. Did you knew this? Right? 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:01.160 You knew this. I I've actually been talking to you 0:08:01.320 --> 0:08:06.160 speaking of advice for probably three years, because it was 0:08:06.200 --> 0:08:08.840 before RIV I remember talking to you about this. I 0:08:08.840 --> 0:08:11.520 would I was just going, Bernie, I don't know if 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:15.200 I should stay on a record label, and some people 0:08:15.240 --> 0:08:17.160 would think why. I mean, that's like a dream to 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:19.040 get a record deal and it is, and it was 0:08:19.120 --> 0:08:22.640 a dream, and it was a great label and great friends, 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:26.560 and they worked really hard and I have great relationships 0:08:26.600 --> 0:08:30.480 there still at that label. But I felt like overall 0:08:30.520 --> 0:08:34.079 my life and my career was taking a shift. And 0:08:35.000 --> 0:08:40.000 the record deal primarily is there to get you on 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:44.920 the radio, and with that comes a radio game that 0:08:45.000 --> 0:08:46.960 you need to play, that you need, you need to 0:08:47.000 --> 0:08:53.520 satisfy radio. And ironically this year I have a radio job. Now. 0:08:53.559 --> 0:08:56.680 It's so ironic how the tables have turned. But but 0:08:56.800 --> 0:08:59.960 I left because I needed to free up some space. 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:05.880 One for this podcast, one for the preaching opportunities that 0:09:05.880 --> 0:09:10.160 that I'm trying to get, and I'm writing a book 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:12.360 or just started the process of that and needed to 0:09:12.360 --> 0:09:16.800 free up some time for that. This. I didn't know 0:09:16.800 --> 0:09:18.960 this radio gig was going to come, but that happened 0:09:19.040 --> 0:09:21.920 right after I left the label. I got this this 0:09:22.040 --> 0:09:23.640 radio job, which is going to take up time, so 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:25.439 I'm thankful for that. And then there's there's some other 0:09:25.520 --> 0:09:28.760 projects that I just have going on that I just 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:32.480 felt like I needed to free up some space because mentally, 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:35.520 it takes a lot of effort, a lot of time, 0:09:35.840 --> 0:09:38.320 and a lot of travel to push a radio single 0:09:38.400 --> 0:09:40.840 up the chart. It's more than just a good song. 0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:45.160 It's it's saying the right things to the right people 0:09:45.240 --> 0:09:47.760 and and you know, going going out to dinner in 0:09:47.800 --> 0:09:51.720 their hometown and doing free things for them constantly. And 0:09:51.840 --> 0:09:54.559 like radio tours, right, you have to be promoting it all. 0:09:54.679 --> 0:09:56.920 You have to always be so like if I go 0:09:57.000 --> 0:09:59.040 to a tour dight in Saint Louis, I got to 0:09:59.080 --> 0:10:01.520 show up early and go meet the guy at the 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:04.960 station and be super nice to him. And that's a 0:10:05.000 --> 0:10:07.800 young man's game. And I've loved it in the past. 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:12.000 I love the personal aspect to that of getting to 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:14.880 know someone at a personal level. But after doing it 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:17.000 for so long, I just I need to free up 0:10:17.040 --> 0:10:19.200 my space. I need to free that up. And so 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:21.400 that was a decision I had to make, and I 0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:24.760 was talking to Bernie about it for years. It first, 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:27.720 when I first approached you about it, it was, Man, 0:10:28.000 --> 0:10:30.600 I feel like writing a letter. Do you remember I 0:10:30.600 --> 0:10:32.640 told you that, like a long time ago. It's like, 0:10:32.640 --> 0:10:35.240 I want to write a letter and just express the 0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:37.360 way I feel and the way I feel about radio 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:40.439 and the way that songs go up charts. And it's 0:10:40.480 --> 0:10:43.800 not in a jaded way. It's just it's not about 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:47.160 a good song, right is it some level? But it's 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:50.600 some level you once you hit a certain threshold. All 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:53.360 the songs are good above a certain threshold. And then 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:56.520 that's thousands and thousands of them, and the charts are 0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:59.199 only going to get forty of them. So I needed 0:10:59.200 --> 0:11:03.800 to free up space. So yeah, Mason in Wisconsin, that's 0:11:03.840 --> 0:11:06.360 the best scenario I can give you. Now what it 0:11:06.400 --> 0:11:08.960 doesn't mean. It doesn't mean I'm gonna stop making music, 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:12.360 stop making album stop touring. None of that's gonna change, 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:14.560 which is the great thing about it. And part of 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:17.120 this decision was based on, well, I don't have to 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:19.640 give up making music. In fact, I'll make more of 0:11:19.679 --> 0:11:22.439 it and different kinds of it. I could put out 0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:25.560 a gospel record and not skip a beat. I could 0:11:25.559 --> 0:11:27.160 write a new song and have it out to you 0:11:27.200 --> 0:11:30.760 guys in two weeks. There's no more red tape that 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:33.400 would come with the record label. That's a big deal. 0:11:33.920 --> 0:11:36.960 So touring wouldn't change. Making music wouldn't change, makeing albums 0:11:36.960 --> 0:11:39.400 wouldn't change. In fact, it would be more of it. 0:11:39.920 --> 0:11:41.680 So it's a benefit to you guys. And if I 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:44.040 wasn't even talking about it at all. You wouldn't even 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:49.920 know any difference, right, So yeah, so that's gonna be 0:11:49.920 --> 0:11:53.199 a big part going into twenty twenty two record label lists. 0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:56.880 So of all of those things that you just mentioned, 0:11:57.040 --> 0:12:02.000 making a new record, writing a book, touring, what is 0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:05.680 the most exciting to you? What are you most excited about? 0:12:05.679 --> 0:12:07.760 What's the most appealing to like, kend of this next year? 0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:11.160 The book? For sure? The book. It's a it's a 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:14.480 it's above and beyond all the other things writing this book. 0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:18.960 Have you talked to you know, folks about it, like publicly? No, 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:22.480 I know we have, but not really. I just started 0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:26.240 just announce this like right now. Yeah, I haven't really 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:30.800 even announced it. But I'm with a literary agent, so 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:34.160 we don't have a publisher. So I got with a 0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:39.280 really good agent and through the recommendation of lots of 0:12:39.400 --> 0:12:42.040 authors that are that have success that I know on 0:12:42.120 --> 0:12:44.800 Instagram and you know, dm them, and got some really 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:47.199 good advice to get an agent first before we get 0:12:47.200 --> 0:12:50.320 a publisher. So then I work with the agent on 0:12:51.000 --> 0:12:54.000 refining my thoughts so that I'm not just looking at 0:12:54.000 --> 0:12:56.240 a blank page. Because it seems impossible to look at 0:12:56.240 --> 0:13:00.319 a blank page. So I talked to this literally and 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:02.199 they were able to sit down with me. We had 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:05.200 coffee two or three times for two or three hours 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:08.959 each time and just refined everything that's in my head 0:13:09.400 --> 0:13:11.280 and go, okay, well, here that they could give me 0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:14.559 suggestions on here's how you start, here's where you're gonna go, 0:13:15.080 --> 0:13:17.760 here's where it's gonna climax, and then here's how you finish. 0:13:18.280 --> 0:13:20.120 That way, I'm not looking at a blank page anymore. 0:13:20.120 --> 0:13:22.439 I'm looking at a template. I'm like, great, so that's 0:13:22.440 --> 0:13:24.640 where I am right now. I finished the template, We 0:13:24.720 --> 0:13:30.200 finished the proposal, and then once I actually start diving 0:13:30.240 --> 0:13:33.040 into the writing, then I'll be talking about it a 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:36.280 lot more cool. But that's that's what I'm most excited about. 0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:38.839 And that takes That's gonna take a lot of time. Yeah, 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:42.520 so as it should. Yeah, do y'all hear that, Guys, 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:47.360 get excited. Twenty twenty two Granger Smith's first book title 0:13:47.760 --> 0:13:50.960 to be determined, worked on in twenty twenty two, probably 0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:54.120 most likely released in twenty twenty three. Okay, yeah, dang, 0:13:54.160 --> 0:13:57.720 that is a lot of time. I know, I know. Okay, 0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:03.120 back to these questions. All right, let's see, where was 0:14:03.120 --> 0:14:04.520 that one I gotta go back to that one and 0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:09.520 delete it. I'm gonna turn my Chick fil A water 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:11.280 this way in case I need to take a drink. 0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:14.960 I guess you have this right here too. Yeah, they 0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:18.280 noticed my coffee cup today. Parker got me this for Christmas. 0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:23.640 Nice wretched center. That's my coffee cup today. Do you 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:25.400 want to go, Bernie? You want to go deeper? You 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:28.840 want to go another surface level? I want to go 0:14:28.840 --> 0:14:32.600 wherever you want to take us, Griz, I got a 0:14:32.600 --> 0:14:34.960 feeling where you're gonna say this, But well, let's look 0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:37.360 at this one. There's not many light ones on here today. 0:14:37.400 --> 0:14:40.040 So the subject line of this one says, I'm confused. 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:42.880 Hey Grande, I'm a new listener to the podcast and 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:46.240 I love them. My boyfriend now X and I recently 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:48.840 broke up after dating for almost a year. We've been 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:51.800 seeing each other for about two years. He came back 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:53.840 two weeks after breaking up with me. Wanted to start 0:14:53.880 --> 0:14:59.000 from the beginning and go slow but remain exclusive. There's 0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:01.400 a voice inside my head that keeps trying to tell 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:04.760 him that I'm conflicted. What should I do? By the way, 0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:09.960 I love him unconditionally and he does me in return. Sincerely, 0:15:10.040 --> 0:15:15.560 Morgan from Florida, and she's twenty years old. A couple 0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:21.359 things jump out at this one, one that the unconditional 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:24.240 love that she has for him is impossible and he 0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:28.720 has for her. It's impossible. Yeah, Morgan, that's impossible. I 0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:33.520 get the sentiment. It's like, I love you forever, unconditional. 0:15:33.640 --> 0:15:36.440 It's like no matter what. Right, Yeah, but it's not true. 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:38.520 I could sit here with you, Morgan and give you 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:42.160 some conditions to make it unc to make it not unconditional. 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:46.160 You know, he puts a gun to your head and says, 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:48.440 love me or die. Yeah, Okay, Yeah, I think you 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:51.440 just broke a condition of the unconditional love. I don't 0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:55.320 think you're going to say I love you unconditionally. So yeah, 0:15:55.360 --> 0:15:57.480 and we can go on and on, but your love 0:15:57.760 --> 0:16:02.080 for another human is not unconditional. Be careful with saying that, right. 0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:07.160 I do believe though, as far as unconditional love, I 0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:12.680 do believe a parent love for a child should be unconditional. 0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:17.960 I don't believe a child's love for a parent should 0:16:17.960 --> 0:16:21.360 be unconditional. Right. It's interesting. Yeah, I think about this 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:23.720 a lot. It's like a parent when you bring a 0:16:23.800 --> 0:16:28.360 child into the world. As a parent, you are responsible 0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:31.640 forever for loving that child no matter what they do, 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:34.160 no matter how they reject you, no matter what they 0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:37.040 say to you. You love. Your job is to love 0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:41.560 them back to you, right like the prodigress son. But 0:16:41.640 --> 0:16:44.880 a kid doesn't have to feel that way because there 0:16:44.880 --> 0:16:48.480 are things a parent can do to the kid to say, 0:16:48.520 --> 0:16:51.200 you know what, I think I've fallen out of love 0:16:51.200 --> 0:16:56.200 with you, dad or mom. And that's okay, it's interesting, 0:16:57.000 --> 0:16:59.080 do you think So let's stress test this a little bit. 0:16:59.240 --> 0:17:04.000 So do you think that? Because really it's the definition 0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:06.359 of love, Like what are they saying? Unconditional love? What 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:09.280 does that love look like? Because there can be times 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:16.919 when a child has a parent that is abusive, like 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:22.680 maybe not in the earliers, but starts lying to him, 0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:27.119 deceiving of all of these things. Can that child still 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:31.680 love them as man, that's my dad, I love him 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:38.760 unconditionally as my dad, but as a person, as a friend, 0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:44.240 as a someone in my sphere of influence, I now 0:17:44.320 --> 0:17:48.400 have to extend further boundaries to that person in order 0:17:48.440 --> 0:17:51.840 to love them from a distance. Like what, Yeah, that's interesting, 0:17:52.040 --> 0:17:53.840 And the same thing you could flip the script on, 0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:59.919 like if a kid is if your child, you know, 0:18:00.240 --> 0:18:03.240 goes off the deep end and like starts killing people 0:18:03.320 --> 0:18:05.320 and starts you know, this is like, oh my gosh, 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:06.600 this is not the kid I raised. What in the 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:11.120 world happened? I still love you, but one there has 0:18:11.160 --> 0:18:15.240 to be boundaries. First because you're in jail, yeah, and 0:18:15.280 --> 0:18:20.000 I'm scared of you. But secondly, emotional boundaries is there's 0:18:20.080 --> 0:18:24.399 still the ability for a child to love a parent 0:18:26.040 --> 0:18:29.359 in the midst of that same thing unconditionally, with the 0:18:29.560 --> 0:18:32.760 boundaries kind of help that sentiment at all. I think 0:18:32.760 --> 0:18:37.480 that's a great point. And it's this idea that you know, 0:18:37.560 --> 0:18:40.840 first and foremost that the parent brings the child into 0:18:40.840 --> 0:18:42.920 the world and the child doesn't have a choice in 0:18:42.960 --> 0:18:44.919 the matter. That's true. Yep, that's a good point. But 0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:49.440 I totally understand the idea of loving as you would 0:18:49.480 --> 0:18:53.000 love any other human or love love your enemy, or 0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:56.000 love your neighbor. There's that kind of love. And then 0:18:56.080 --> 0:19:00.640 there's the parental love that you have when you when 0:19:00.640 --> 0:19:02.720 you lose a father and you grieve and grieve and 0:19:02.760 --> 0:19:05.720 grieve because of how much you loved him or if 0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:09.080 you didn't really and he dies and you go, you know, 0:19:09.119 --> 0:19:11.680 I didn't really know my dad. I'm not really affected 0:19:11.680 --> 0:19:14.359 by this loss. You could still love him like you 0:19:14.400 --> 0:19:18.720 would love a neighbor or an enemy, like a biblical love. 0:19:19.160 --> 0:19:20.800 But it's not the kind of love that would make 0:19:20.840 --> 0:19:24.080 you grieve and make you say I'll do anything to 0:19:24.119 --> 0:19:26.040 have for my dad. Yeah, and it's not. Yeah, it's 0:19:26.080 --> 0:19:28.880 not the same kind of love typically associated with the 0:19:28.880 --> 0:19:33.680 phrase unconditional love. Yeah. Right, So here's another. So let's 0:19:33.680 --> 0:19:35.879 flip the script on that. So now you have a 0:19:35.920 --> 0:19:40.320 parent that loses a child and says, you know, I 0:19:40.320 --> 0:19:42.320 didn't really know my child. It doesn't really affect me 0:19:42.359 --> 0:19:46.119 that they died. That's weird. That sounds weird. It doesn't 0:19:46.160 --> 0:19:50.080 sound weird for a daughter to go my dad died. Yeah, 0:19:50.119 --> 0:19:51.720 he lived in Arizona. I didn't really know him, so 0:19:51.720 --> 0:19:54.560 I don't really care. Yeah, but you would never say 0:19:54.600 --> 0:19:57.040 that as a parent. Yeah, my son died. He lived 0:19:57.040 --> 0:19:58.600 in Arizona. I didn't really know him, and I don't 0:19:58.640 --> 0:20:01.240 really care. Yeah, what's the difference in that? But there 0:20:01.280 --> 0:20:06.080 is one. There is one. There definitely is one. So okay, sorry, Morgan, 0:20:06.160 --> 0:20:09.560 back to your question. But I will I will say 0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:13.639 with with Morgan Mason, who is this, This is Morgan. Morgan. 0:20:13.640 --> 0:20:17.480 Mason was last Morgan. I feel like this may fall 0:20:17.520 --> 0:20:21.080 into the communication bucket. Yep. I feel like her and 0:20:21.119 --> 0:20:27.000 her boyfriend, yeah, that there are things that they're not 0:20:27.280 --> 0:20:34.760 communicating well with each other about and as far as 0:20:34.800 --> 0:20:37.440 the future and what needs to happen and where their 0:20:37.440 --> 0:20:40.640 heart's at and all that stuff, And I think it's 0:20:40.640 --> 0:20:43.960 a Morgan. This is what we call the rebound. What 0:20:44.160 --> 0:20:46.720 happened to you? He came back two weeks after breaking 0:20:46.840 --> 0:20:50.119 up and wanted to start from the beginning. That's not uncommon. 0:20:50.160 --> 0:20:52.920 That's that's called a rebound. You know, you you date 0:20:53.000 --> 0:20:55.520 for a year and then you go, you know what, 0:20:55.600 --> 0:20:57.840 I think we should see other people, and then you 0:20:57.880 --> 0:20:59.399 go for two weeks and you go, I don't think 0:20:59.400 --> 0:21:01.560 there's anybody else out there. I'ma I'm gonna go back 0:21:01.600 --> 0:21:03.840 to what was comfortable and what I what I really loved, 0:21:03.840 --> 0:21:06.520 and I'm gonna go back. And so two weeks comes back. 0:21:06.680 --> 0:21:10.640 That's normal. But the trend is that's gonna happen again. 0:21:11.359 --> 0:21:14.160 As soon as you guys get comfortable again, he's gonna 0:21:14.240 --> 0:21:17.840 leave again. That's just that's what's gonna happen. He says, 0:21:17.880 --> 0:21:19.800 he wants to start from the beginning and go slow 0:21:19.880 --> 0:21:23.080 this time, as if this would be a different scenario, 0:21:23.160 --> 0:21:26.760 and it's not. No, it's changed. I would be interested 0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:29.359 to know what did they do the first time that 0:21:29.520 --> 0:21:33.000 was fast because it said they were they dated, they 0:21:33.000 --> 0:21:36.680 were together for a year, and then dated a year 0:21:37.200 --> 0:21:40.959 after that year, because it says, well, wait, they were together, 0:21:41.040 --> 0:21:43.040 we were dating for almost a year. But we've been 0:21:43.119 --> 0:21:47.800 seeing each other for over for about two years. That's 0:21:47.920 --> 0:21:51.240 pretty slow. If you're so, let me let me just 0:21:51.280 --> 0:21:54.280 tell you, because again I'm gonna I'm gonna stress test 0:21:54.320 --> 0:21:57.399 this a little bit. Leslie and I my wife of 0:21:57.440 --> 0:22:03.919 seventeen years, we met each other and we're in a 0:22:03.960 --> 0:22:06.439 circle of friends and we weren't really attracted to each other. 0:22:06.560 --> 0:22:10.439 We weren't, it was it just wasn't like that. But 0:22:10.840 --> 0:22:14.199 we both love to play sports, basketball, volleyball, so we 0:22:14.240 --> 0:22:16.119 would go and just like play and all of a 0:22:16.160 --> 0:22:19.200 sudden we had a friendship. And that was like nine 0:22:19.200 --> 0:22:23.080 months to a year before there was like a night, 0:22:23.320 --> 0:22:27.000 a night where we both realized like whoa, this this 0:22:27.040 --> 0:22:28.199 is like who I want to hang out with the 0:22:28.200 --> 0:22:30.399