1 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:07,680 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha. Welcome stuff. I've never 2 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:09,200 Speaker 1: told you a prediction by her radio. 3 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 2: Oh ye'ah. So in one of our last episodes or 4 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:24,920 Speaker 2: recent episodes with Joey, we discussed how like social media 5 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:29,040 Speaker 2: platforms such as TikTok has had a huge influence in 6 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:33,040 Speaker 2: like reclaiming or recreating terms us to become more either 7 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 2: gendered or just putting a new QC name on things 8 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,680 Speaker 2: like girl dinner. We specifically talked about girl whatever, girl 9 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:41,839 Speaker 2: bossing that's kind of been a little before them, but 10 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:45,199 Speaker 2: the girl dinner creating these gendered ideas, by the way, 11 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,080 Speaker 2: which is essentially snacking. But I think it's funny because 12 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,599 Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, this is girl dinner. I mean 13 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 2: the chagoo tree board for dinner like that. 14 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 3: I do that often. I'm not gonna lie. 15 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,880 Speaker 2: But one of the terms that we did bring up 16 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 2: but really didn't get into was bed rid because I 17 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 2: discovered it and like, what is that? That just sounds gross? 18 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,160 Speaker 2: So ady, had you heard this term? 19 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,680 Speaker 1: Would I actually think I was ahead of you this 20 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 1: grid because and I want to say this, I want 21 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 1: to be very clear, I am not on TikTok. So 22 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: if I sound like an old person talking to the youth. 23 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:27,480 Speaker 1: I heard about concerns around it on like what it 24 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:31,040 Speaker 1: meant on news sites like CNN, And then I saw 25 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 1: a stand up act where it was essentially like it 26 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:39,199 Speaker 1: was on Stephen Colbert. Stephen Colbert brought out his writer 27 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:42,360 Speaker 1: who was young, a woman, and was like, what is this? 28 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 1: And she explained it and then they jokes and sue, 29 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:50,280 Speaker 1: So I had heard about it. That is the context. Yeah, 30 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 1: I heard about. 31 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 2: I mean this is right on part because I was 32 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 2: a year behind, Like all of the articles that I've 33 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 2: seen recently about bed running has been in twenty twenty three, 34 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,440 Speaker 2: so August of twenty twenty three, so I'm a little behind. 35 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 2: I may have seen it and just bypass because I 36 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 2: don't want this. 37 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 3: What is this? 38 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,639 Speaker 2: I do this on a daily? Are you gonna make 39 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:09,799 Speaker 2: fun of me? Are you gonna call me out? I 40 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,519 Speaker 2: don't need this or a monthly, not daily, not daily, 41 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 2: I swear to guys. 42 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 3: I'm okay, I promise. 43 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 2: But so before we start, of course we're talking because 44 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,120 Speaker 2: it's my Monday minni, and when it comes to Monday 45 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 2: minnis that I do, we often talk about social media 46 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 2: and how it's calling me out. And why is it 47 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,280 Speaker 2: necessarily call me out. I don't need you to tell 48 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:30,839 Speaker 2: me in terms of what's wrong with me, but yet 49 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 2: you do, so I'm gonna. 50 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:34,200 Speaker 3: Share it type of thing. 51 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,520 Speaker 2: Or we talk about mental health stuff, which is essentially 52 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 2: the same difference. I'm like, why we still talking about 53 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 2: the things that are wrong with me? And everybody has 54 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 2: to deal with it, So let's go. So this is 55 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:48,639 Speaker 2: my segment. So many users have been saying this specific 56 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:52,080 Speaker 2: term bed routting, which to me makes me picture the 57 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 2: scene from seven, you know, the one where they died 58 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,359 Speaker 2: of sloth and like you, they are encrusted into the 59 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:57,920 Speaker 2: bed and I'm like. 60 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:01,280 Speaker 3: God, yeah, and that's the scene I have. 61 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,400 Speaker 2: Y'all's still one of the most like scary movies, but 62 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:06,520 Speaker 2: I can't watch it because Kevin Spacey's a dick and 63 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 2: he ruined everything. 64 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,240 Speaker 3: But all that say, that's what I pictured it. 65 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:14,800 Speaker 2: But it's really the idea of taking self care to 66 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 2: bed or spending a lot of time in bed by choice. 67 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 2: And that word is by choice, because we know sometimes 68 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 2: people are bed ridden and have situations where they have 69 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,760 Speaker 2: to be and they would rather not be or all 70 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 2: of that. So please understand what saying by choice. And 71 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:33,800 Speaker 2: here's what Forbes says. A bed rot is when you 72 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:37,440 Speaker 2: feel stressed or anxiety or in some way feel overwrought 73 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 2: with emotion and then end up spending a lengthy period 74 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:44,280 Speaker 2: of time in bed to rest or cope. And now 75 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:47,000 Speaker 2: we're not exactly talking about depression either, So what we're 76 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 2: talking about in this whole conversation saying like pre depression 77 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:57,200 Speaker 2: or like not quite depression. So we're gonna put that 78 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 2: in this caveat. So many have talked about as a 79 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 2: way of taking some time off to just relax and recharge, 80 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 2: but there are a few who are her a bit 81 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 2: concerned by its effects, as you were talking about earlier. 82 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 2: Any here's a quote from a CBS News article written 83 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,400 Speaker 2: about it. They say the trend has faced criticism from 84 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,799 Speaker 2: the wellness community as well as doctors, especially for people 85 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:21,720 Speaker 2: dealing with depression or anxiety. Quote it can worsen overall 86 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:26,080 Speaker 2: health by increasing risk of obesity and cardiovascular disease. A psychiatrist, 87 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 2: doctor Rishik what Tom said. Doctors say bed riting can 88 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:33,640 Speaker 2: disrupt healthy sleep patterns, adding is okay to slow down 89 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,120 Speaker 2: for a day once in a while if you're really exhausted, 90 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,840 Speaker 2: but if bedwriting becomes a barrier to living a full 91 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:42,479 Speaker 2: life or taking care of daily responsibilities, it might be 92 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 2: a sign to seek help. If I'm finding myself needing 93 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 2: more and more of this, doctor, what Tom said is 94 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,480 Speaker 2: a good reliable sign that there might be some other 95 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:54,800 Speaker 2: problems going on. And of course there's some questions with that. 96 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:57,719 Speaker 2: Is it really needing a day off laying around in 97 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:01,159 Speaker 2: bed or is it something more? Again, some TikTok users 98 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:04,240 Speaker 2: actually have contended that it's actually something known as languishing, 99 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:06,280 Speaker 2: And before we jump into that, I think, like that's 100 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 2: really important to understand when we're talking about laying around 101 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:12,280 Speaker 2: a lot versus a day or so off. I've definitely 102 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,240 Speaker 2: done this where I'm like, you know what, screw this, 103 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,480 Speaker 2: I'm gonna go get my computer. I'm gonna go get 104 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:20,039 Speaker 2: tucked into my bedroom and have the TV on there 105 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 2: and work from here, like this is what I want today, 106 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,040 Speaker 2: this is all I need. I'll get some snacks, I'll 107 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 2: get my water, and here we go. But I've definitely 108 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 2: had moments where I'm like, I'm asleep till sixty till 109 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,320 Speaker 2: like three in the afternoon, because sleeping is a better 110 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:38,920 Speaker 2: resolution than to be up like, you know, that's definitely 111 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 2: like that danger zone where we have this conversation. I 112 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 2: hate the term bed rotting because just rotting is not 113 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:49,040 Speaker 2: a fun term to me. So I'm really surprised that 114 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 2: they took that twist, like rotting is not the most 115 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,840 Speaker 2: like I would not affiliate that with self care. 116 00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:00,520 Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like it's a similar to what 117 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:06,160 Speaker 1: we talked about with Joey. There's something interesting that's happening 118 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:13,680 Speaker 1: where women, especially are I guess we're like pulling back 119 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:17,320 Speaker 1: the curtain on things that for a long time we've 120 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 1: pretended haven't been happening, or at least a lot of 121 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:25,880 Speaker 1: us have, and we're giving them these names that are 122 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:31,359 Speaker 1: either dramatic or kind of infantilizing, what have you. But 123 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:37,800 Speaker 1: I feel like bedrotting is sort of a case of exaggerating, 124 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 1: maybe not, but like it. It doesn't sound pretty, it 125 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: doesn't sound gendered, it doesn't sound nice. It's kind of 126 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:47,840 Speaker 1: the opposite of what we would normally attach to something 127 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:51,400 Speaker 1: women would do. So I think it's one of an 128 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:55,160 Speaker 1: example of that of women being like, gus, what this 129 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:59,720 Speaker 1: kind of thing you see me as publicly behind the curtains. 130 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:01,640 Speaker 3: That's just. 131 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 1: What I kind of feel is going on in here. 132 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:08,359 Speaker 2: There's also some like vility in that conversation that this 133 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:12,160 Speaker 2: system trying to get viral, so like, yeah, there's apparently 134 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 2: like seventy five point five million videos related to bedriding, 135 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:20,840 Speaker 2: so I think this may be part of that conversation 136 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:25,360 Speaker 2: because also I got onto a different rabbit hole, which 137 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:28,120 Speaker 2: I want to come back to with gen Z terms 138 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,800 Speaker 2: that have like different meanings of like you're just rebranding 139 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 2: one of them, and I don't know if it's a 140 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 2: joke naut and again I want to revisit this is 141 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 2: the ideal of a gen Z dude dating a gen 142 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 2: X or an older millennial woman being called hag Maxer. 143 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 2: Oh but then I see that and it says like 144 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 2: there's a Luna the warnings in Twitter that says it 145 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 2: that it may be a four chan joke that just 146 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 2: exploded and people have latched onto Oh yeah, so things 147 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,600 Speaker 2: like that that kind of have happened, which I'm like, yeah, 148 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,440 Speaker 2: that makes sense, And though like they took it from 149 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 2: milf to cougar to this that, I'm like, they just rebranded, 150 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 2: and I feel like it's not necessarily better, right, Yeah, 151 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:33,560 Speaker 2: just say another video popped up on my feed where 152 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 2: it says because I had not been on the bed riding, 153 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:37,440 Speaker 2: I just saw it once and maybe because I didn't 154 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 2: watch it, I moved on. But then a video came 155 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,040 Speaker 2: back and was like, I'll tell you what this actually is. 156 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:47,000 Speaker 2: It's called languishing. So I went down this mental health 157 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:51,760 Speaker 2: rabbit hole, and here's what languishing is. An article from 158 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 2: Real Simple titled what is languishing They Say? The American 159 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:59,720 Speaker 2: Psychology Association Dictionary of Psychology officially defines languishing as the 160 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 2: condition of absence of mental health, characterized by on we 161 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:09,160 Speaker 2: thank you for the assistance, apathy, listlessness, and a loss 162 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:12,960 Speaker 2: of interest in life again, so it's very close to depression, 163 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,720 Speaker 2: they move on. Languishing can also be described as a 164 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:19,200 Speaker 2: doling of our emotions, says a Dion Mesger, MD, a 165 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:23,240 Speaker 2: psychiatrist practicing in Atlanta. It's not sadness, but a lack 166 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:26,959 Speaker 2: of joy, she says, is a neutral feeling of emptiness. 167 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 2: American sociologists and psychologist Corey Key's PhD was the first 168 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,800 Speaker 2: to use the term languishing as a way to describe 169 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,920 Speaker 2: a person's mental well being. Much of his research has 170 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,960 Speaker 2: approached mental health as a continuum, with the idea that 171 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,960 Speaker 2: the absence of mental illness does not automatically translate into 172 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,720 Speaker 2: the presence of mental health. More specifically, on one end 173 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,320 Speaker 2: of the spectrum, Keys would describe someone who was mentally 174 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:53,560 Speaker 2: healthy as quote flourishing, while someone with an absence of 175 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,480 Speaker 2: mental health would be languishing. In his seminal two thousand 176 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,600 Speaker 2: and two paper on the mental health continuum, Keys knows 177 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,840 Speaker 2: that the peace people who are languishing face a risk 178 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,880 Speaker 2: of a major depressive episode that is two times higher 179 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 2: than those who are moderately mentally healthy and almost six 180 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:12,280 Speaker 2: times greater than those who are flourishing. So with that, 181 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:16,640 Speaker 2: it's not surprising that the pandemic has really impacted the 182 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:19,439 Speaker 2: growth of languishing as well. Many of us has come 183 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,840 Speaker 2: to this point either being anxious or completely ambiguous about 184 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:26,319 Speaker 2: what we are doing in the future. As the nysut 185 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:29,199 Speaker 2: dot org puts it, quote, you may not have symptoms 186 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:32,720 Speaker 2: of mental illness, but you're not functioning like you used 187 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:37,239 Speaker 2: to and worried about your mental health over time. Languishing 188 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:41,840 Speaker 2: is not clinical deppression, but may dull your motivation, ability 189 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,760 Speaker 2: to focus, and makes you feel a sense of stagnation 190 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:48,840 Speaker 2: and emptiness, maybe even joylessness and aimlessness. It may be 191 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:53,240 Speaker 2: the prominent emotion of post pandemic for many of us. Yeah, 192 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:55,760 Speaker 2: and I think that's really kind of that conversation we 193 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 2: continue to have of that, like we cannot get out 194 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 2: of this phone. It's really hard for me as an individual. 195 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,160 Speaker 2: Of course, we're going to talk a little more into 196 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,040 Speaker 2: it in just a minute, but like it could be 197 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 2: the added plus of like this is my trauma response 198 00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 2: to begin with, so coming into languishing is just a 199 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 2: natural state. Also, I am a more depressive individual, so 200 00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:16,880 Speaker 2: therefore this isn't like the normal state. So I'm like, 201 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 2: I'm good compared to my depressive state. Everything's Fineya, Everything's 202 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:29,640 Speaker 2: just fine. Or perhaps it's just as the newest way 203 00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 2: of understanding that midlife crisis, which I've talked about repeatedly, 204 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,240 Speaker 2: because I'm like, do I have it? 205 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:34,040 Speaker 3: Is this what's happening? 206 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,720 Speaker 2: Is this like that level of like, Okay, I'm not 207 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:40,120 Speaker 2: quite here because I can't afford what used to be 208 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,280 Speaker 2: the boomer solution of midlife crisis, because I still have 209 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:44,840 Speaker 2: to keep working and I still have to keep pushing. 210 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:46,680 Speaker 2: I have to do these things, and I'm not quite 211 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:50,480 Speaker 2: to that point of like having you know, adult kids 212 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:54,240 Speaker 2: or any of those things to focus on. That's a 213 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:58,359 Speaker 2: whole different conversation. The emptiness that is not quite depression, 214 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:01,080 Speaker 2: but just a sense of void and trying to fill it. 215 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,679 Speaker 2: So we're languishing instead of full on mid life crisising. 216 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:08,680 Speaker 2: Yeah I made that anyway. There's another term that many 217 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:12,640 Speaker 2: have associated with this as well, called functional freeze. So 218 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,560 Speaker 2: we know what the reaction freeze reaction is in a 219 00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 2: trauma response. We've talked about that repeatedly in our trauma 220 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:21,680 Speaker 2: series when we come back to revisit like Trauma Series 221 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,720 Speaker 2: or trauma Reactions, We've talked about that as a thing 222 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 2: because I've talked about that, But that's what I do. 223 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,840 Speaker 2: People think I'm being really calm and very good in 224 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:34,640 Speaker 2: a bad situation, when in actuality I've disassociated and frozen. 225 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:39,200 Speaker 2: I tried not to tell people that though, because I 226 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,160 Speaker 2: think I'm really professional when in actuality I have no 227 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,240 Speaker 2: idea what the hell is happening. But yeah, but this 228 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 2: is not exactly what we're talking about. I feel like 229 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:48,679 Speaker 2: functional freeze is similar to that. And again, kind of 230 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:50,880 Speaker 2: like how we said, how All was saying languishing may 231 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,640 Speaker 2: be like the normal spot for those who are depressive 232 00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:57,360 Speaker 2: major depressive disorder. I think functional freeze is kind of 233 00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:00,960 Speaker 2: that level of like, Okay, we're not quite in that 234 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,640 Speaker 2: trauma response, but it's just kind of like, yeah, this 235 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:06,680 Speaker 2: is protection. This is me protecting myself in a constant 236 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 2: but in a more acceptable manner. 237 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:10,440 Speaker 3: We'll say like that. 238 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:16,080 Speaker 2: So, according to another Forbes article, functional phreezes quote a mental, physical, 239 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:19,800 Speaker 2: and emotional state where people find themselves immobilized by inertia, 240 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,440 Speaker 2: lacking the drive to pursue their goals or engage in 241 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:25,959 Speaker 2: activities that once brought them joy, and it goes on 242 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:30,840 Speaker 2: its onset. Mode can stem from various factors. Stress, burnout, 243 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:34,200 Speaker 2: unresolved emotional issues, and a lack of clear direction in 244 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:38,800 Speaker 2: life all contribute to perpetuate the sense of stagnation. As 245 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 2: responsibilities mount, individuals may withdraw from the world, retreating into 246 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:46,360 Speaker 2: a state of numbness and apathy. The consequence of this 247 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:50,120 Speaker 2: state can be far reaching, impacting multiple facets of an 248 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:54,440 Speaker 2: individual's life. Relationships may suffer as communication WANs and social 249 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:59,000 Speaker 2: interactions become superficial. Work or academic performances may also decline 250 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:03,319 Speaker 2: over time. This pattern of avoidance and disengagement can undermine 251 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:06,840 Speaker 2: self worth and contribute to mental health challenges such as 252 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,080 Speaker 2: depression and anxiety. So it can also be a sign 253 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:14,079 Speaker 2: of things to come, So just depressive disorders or anxiety disorders, 254 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:18,719 Speaker 2: or having an attack coming on, so defensive attack or 255 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,400 Speaker 2: an anxiety attack, all those things. 256 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,920 Speaker 3: It could be one of those things. 257 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,040 Speaker 2: And I find this interesting because I just told you 258 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,440 Speaker 2: any that I'm like, yeah, I'm in this give up mode, 259 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,240 Speaker 2: so screw it, like it's out the window where I 260 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:33,400 Speaker 2: hit a wall and I'm just like I'm done, and 261 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:36,040 Speaker 2: I will tell you and you know, we all have 262 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,880 Speaker 2: our moments. And thus far, the last six months has 263 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:43,760 Speaker 2: had a lot of like family emergencies. I have had 264 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:47,760 Speaker 2: three different family members, close family members going into the hospital. 265 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:52,360 Speaker 2: They're all okay, but they've had some issues. I've had 266 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:56,480 Speaker 2: two funerals of very close relatives and like things are happening, 267 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,080 Speaker 2: and I have kind of responded fairly well to the 268 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,240 Speaker 2: point that I've just shaken it off and been like, yeah, okay, 269 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:07,040 Speaker 2: next type of situation, which is kind of not normal 270 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:11,120 Speaker 2: for me. But I have come to the point that 271 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 2: I think I'm in that phrase mode or languishing mode 272 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 2: in which I'm just like, all right, things are happening. 273 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:21,840 Speaker 2: I can't crash and burn right now, so let me 274 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:26,200 Speaker 2: do it this way, to the point that I am 275 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:30,200 Speaker 2: not telling people about these incidents unless I have to. 276 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,640 Speaker 2: So I've told you many of these things. Now I'm 277 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:37,480 Speaker 2: telling our listeners because it affects my work. So I'm like, hey, 278 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,000 Speaker 2: I might even have to do this. And I've had 279 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,840 Speaker 2: to be like I can't be on this just this, 280 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:44,280 Speaker 2: this and this, and then my partner knows about it, 281 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:47,360 Speaker 2: and that's kind of it. Like I haven't told any 282 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:52,280 Speaker 2: of my closest friends. I've just stopped talking until I 283 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,680 Speaker 2: have to explain myself and be like, I'm so sorry. 284 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:56,560 Speaker 2: It seems like I was ignoring you or I was 285 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,760 Speaker 2: canceling because I was canceling on people too, And I 286 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:01,680 Speaker 2: try to explain what's going on, but I just don't 287 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:07,560 Speaker 2: have the emotional strength, I guess I say, like just yeah, 288 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 2: like that, I'm like, I want to explain what's going on, 289 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:15,440 Speaker 2: Like it just feels worse for me to explain what's 290 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,680 Speaker 2: going on. And it's a part of this thing, like 291 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 2: both trauma response all these things. And I know we've 292 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:24,840 Speaker 2: gone far away from that conversation about bedrotting, but we 293 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,520 Speaker 2: are talking about why people are saying that they need 294 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:29,800 Speaker 2: these things or that these are good things or this 295 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:33,000 Speaker 2: is like revamping of these words because we're back into 296 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 2: the state of the languishing of the functional freeze. I 297 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:39,160 Speaker 2: haven't stayed a day in the bed yet, but I 298 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:42,560 Speaker 2: do stay on the couch often until I have a 299 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:43,360 Speaker 2: reason to get up. 300 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,800 Speaker 3: Wow. That sounds real bad, y'all. I'm okay. I swear 301 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,680 Speaker 3: I'm not in danger zone. We're good. 302 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,600 Speaker 2: But in the sense of, like I do go workout, 303 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:57,040 Speaker 2: So I have told my workout buddies that I'm like 304 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,040 Speaker 2: because I can do like. 305 00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 3: Zoombah and cardio jam. 306 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:01,720 Speaker 2: I love dance like oh, I love going out moving around. 307 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 2: So they feel like the closest friends I have right 308 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,040 Speaker 2: now because I've seen them outside of you, who I 309 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:10,600 Speaker 2: see multiple times a week, like, but like they are 310 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,160 Speaker 2: people that I don't have. They don't ask me things, 311 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,159 Speaker 2: you know what I mean, we don't get into in 312 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:19,960 Speaker 2: depth conversation. And as for me, who needs in depth conversation, 313 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:25,880 Speaker 2: which is this like oxymoron to me? Just don't want 314 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,040 Speaker 2: to have it right now time that so therefore I 315 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,080 Speaker 2: can't have any conversation with you because I don't know 316 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:33,960 Speaker 2: how not to do that. And so all of these 317 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,480 Speaker 2: things are happening, or like when I do work or 318 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,520 Speaker 2: when I research that, I'm just like, yeah, okay, do 319 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,439 Speaker 2: I have to go see people? Do I have to 320 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,800 Speaker 2: do things? And like I'm forcing myself. This week has 321 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:45,359 Speaker 2: been a busy week. And I say busy weeks. I'm 322 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:50,199 Speaker 2: doing two things, two things outside of the norm, and 323 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:53,760 Speaker 2: it feels kind of overwhelming already. But like there's this 324 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:57,120 Speaker 2: level of trying to figure all these out. I feel 325 00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:58,520 Speaker 2: like most people know what I'm talking about. At the 326 00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 2: same time, they're like Smith Stopp complaining, there are so 327 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,120 Speaker 2: many things that have been happening recently that I'm trying 328 00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:14,560 Speaker 2: to figure out where to go. Some of the solutions 329 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,400 Speaker 2: because we are coming back with solutions obviously that they 330 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,800 Speaker 2: have recommended are as follows. So one of the things 331 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,800 Speaker 2: that I've seen on several things was hiking and meditation 332 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,479 Speaker 2: in nature, and they have a specific Japanese word for this. 333 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,640 Speaker 2: I don't know how to say if someone leave it alone, 334 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,240 Speaker 2: so I'm just gonna describe it to you, but I'll 335 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:35,120 Speaker 2: credit this and essentially like as it says, you go 336 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:38,720 Speaker 2: into the woods and actually concentrate and take a depth 337 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:42,280 Speaker 2: and like be a part of nature and like focusing 338 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:45,600 Speaker 2: on nature and all of that when I used to 339 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,560 Speaker 2: not a sponsor, use Calm a lot. Like they have 340 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:53,159 Speaker 2: a walking meditation episode and it's really lovely because it 341 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,120 Speaker 2: has the woman that I liked tomorrow, which I talked 342 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,240 Speaker 2: about a long time ago, and like being able to 343 00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:59,880 Speaker 2: like listen to your steps, listen to your breathing here 344 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,480 Speaker 2: this and like having this moment of like okay, and 345 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,520 Speaker 2: I would always just do one ear phone while I'm 346 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:09,000 Speaker 2: walking because I'm like, okay, so I can Hey, I need. 347 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:10,399 Speaker 3: To be aware of nature. Someone's coming up behind me, 348 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:11,640 Speaker 3: but I need to be ready. 349 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:15,919 Speaker 2: But all those things it was nice, So I was like, okay, 350 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,359 Speaker 2: that's a nice one. And then they talk about reconnecting 351 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,600 Speaker 2: to something that excites you or brings joy, like I 352 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,840 Speaker 2: kind of have a hard time with to begin with, Like, y'all, 353 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,440 Speaker 2: I've told you I try to find hobbies because I'm 354 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,639 Speaker 2: like that's what normal people do. I cannot figure out 355 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:34,320 Speaker 2: a hobby that I like, except for phone games, which 356 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:38,399 Speaker 2: does not seem helpy connect with people, which again it's 357 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:41,240 Speaker 2: kind of hard to even get to that point because. 358 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,879 Speaker 3: That means I have to explain myself and there's so 359 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:43,280 Speaker 3: much to. 360 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:47,080 Speaker 2: Like at the same time, and you and I you've 361 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:50,000 Speaker 2: talked about this recently. I feel like it's an inconvenience 362 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:53,439 Speaker 2: for other people to hear about my problems. It's not 363 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,840 Speaker 2: or it's not big enough for y'all to deal with, 364 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:59,280 Speaker 2: or it's passed by so long ago that everything's okay, 365 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:00,920 Speaker 2: so there's no need to bring it back up again. 366 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,080 Speaker 2: So those like moments. But I do know when I 367 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,679 Speaker 2: connect with people it does feel better. It's just that 368 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,760 Speaker 2: beginning trying to get to that point unless it's a 369 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:10,879 Speaker 2: lot of people I don't know and that I'm not 370 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:11,680 Speaker 2: anxious and I'm like, I. 371 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:15,240 Speaker 3: Hate this, uh, And then I feel like this is a. 372 00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:18,120 Speaker 2: Big one, And I do. 373 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,800 Speaker 3: Feel like this is where TikTok helps me. Stupid TikTok. 374 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:26,879 Speaker 2: Acknowledge where you are and if you're in a good place, 375 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:30,800 Speaker 2: acknowledging that it's okay to be in that spot, and 376 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,520 Speaker 2: to always remember you're always going to be in a 377 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:39,199 Speaker 2: different mood, like it's not long lasting, hopefully eventually, and 378 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,800 Speaker 2: even though if it is, there are usually moments of 379 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,240 Speaker 2: sparks that you see, you're not going to feel happy 380 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,720 Speaker 2: all the time. That's not a thing, you know, We 381 00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:50,960 Speaker 2: know this if you're a human. Even with the best situations, 382 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,240 Speaker 2: there are still moments of I think we talked with 383 00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:55,720 Speaker 2: the Eaves, like we have a job and everything's great, 384 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,879 Speaker 2: but then the anxiety of like performing or trying to 385 00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 2: do something, or being relevant or doing hopefully hoping that 386 00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:05,359 Speaker 2: we were impactful so many things. And here's this from 387 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,600 Speaker 2: and I thought that was really good. They were talking 388 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:11,240 Speaker 2: about the pandemic times and languishing and they said from 389 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:16,160 Speaker 2: and it's from Forward Wellnesscounseling dot com. Finding your flow, 390 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:19,919 Speaker 2: blocking out time, and setting small goals all good ideas 391 00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:23,359 Speaker 2: and interventions. I often discussed with people in therapy. Doing 392 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:27,040 Speaker 2: one thing mindfully, which can elicit a flow state, is 393 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:30,120 Speaker 2: a particularly great practice. So much of what we identify 394 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:33,119 Speaker 2: as anxiety comes down to to do lists and little 395 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,080 Speaker 2: problems that overwhelm us as there's too much to do 396 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,680 Speaker 2: and not enough time to do it. Learning to tune 397 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,280 Speaker 2: out that inner monologue that constantly drives us to do 398 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,880 Speaker 2: more is in fact the key too and the goal 399 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:48,000 Speaker 2: of mindfulness practice. And yet while the larger context of 400 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:52,960 Speaker 2: the pandemic is acknowledged, the article's advice is directly squared 401 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:57,080 Speaker 2: at the reader, implying a personal responsibility to manage the symptoms, 402 00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:00,399 Speaker 2: while otherwise disregarding the cause, over and against the impulse 403 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:04,240 Speaker 2: to self discipline already deeply ingrained in so many of us. 404 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 2: I sometimes challenge much clients to consider, what, if how 405 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:12,560 Speaker 2: you are coping right now is good enough? Could it 406 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 2: be that languishing is simply a natural reaction to those 407 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:21,240 Speaker 2: prolonged stress and uncertainty. Maybe the response you are having 408 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:25,600 Speaker 2: is a valid one, maybe a more appropriate strategy. So 409 00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,199 Speaker 2: I'm guessing they're trying to like you don't have to 410 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:31,119 Speaker 2: do that mindfulnessing. Maybe a more appropriate strategy for coping 411 00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:36,040 Speaker 2: with languishing would be allowing allow yourself to take a nap, 412 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,200 Speaker 2: allow yourself to take things off your to do list, 413 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:42,800 Speaker 2: and opt out of a zoom meeting. Allow yourself to 414 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:46,480 Speaker 2: continue to grieve the losses. This pandemic is not over. 415 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,960 Speaker 2: The vaccine that we were told would return life to 416 00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:52,960 Speaker 2: normal has not allowed us to resume pre pandemic activities. 417 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:56,439 Speaker 2: Yet we are still wearing masks and limiting outings and 418 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,199 Speaker 2: a lot of us are. I want to put that 419 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,040 Speaker 2: as an ass like it's I don't know how long 420 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,560 Speaker 2: ago this article was written. So this is my little bit, 421 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:08,440 Speaker 2: Sam's bit, but just a reminder. COVID is still happening 422 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,560 Speaker 2: and a lot of people are still masking and limiting 423 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:13,440 Speaker 2: their time out just as a reminder, and as we've 424 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,679 Speaker 2: talked to people recently, they are still getting COVID. So 425 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,520 Speaker 2: going on, we are still putting off travel plans and 426 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:23,760 Speaker 2: family reunions. So in this endless, seventh inning stretch that 427 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,720 Speaker 2: is the pandemic, maybe we could all use a little 428 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:30,359 Speaker 2: more patience with ourselves to just be with no expectation 429 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,680 Speaker 2: of doing more and doing better, allow ourselves to fill 430 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:37,119 Speaker 2: whatever it is we are labeling this feeling and knowing 431 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:40,440 Speaker 2: that this too shall pass. So I think, like, yes, 432 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,720 Speaker 2: it's kind of trying to find that place where you 433 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:47,879 Speaker 2: are specifically to this and again, like I said, like 434 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:51,680 Speaker 2: letting it be, allowing it to be, calling it out 435 00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:53,160 Speaker 2: and then just kind of sitting in it. And it's 436 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,800 Speaker 2: okay for for a suspended amount of time, y'all like 437 00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:59,440 Speaker 2: or not saying forever, don't do this forever because it's 438 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:05,240 Speaker 2: ire some sashsome but I think there's a lot to 439 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:09,479 Speaker 2: be said in this conversation, Like, yes, bedrotting is a 440 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:16,320 Speaker 2: I want to say, funny term, but looking at the 441 00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:19,479 Speaker 2: bigger picture of what it is is also important. Again, 442 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:22,400 Speaker 2: like whatever, the millions of videos that are out there, 443 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,399 Speaker 2: because there's millions and then the millions of views that 444 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,840 Speaker 2: they've all had, is a good thing to talk about 445 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:31,200 Speaker 2: it. It has really opened up a conversation that I think 446 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:33,399 Speaker 2: is really important. Not the self care but because you know, 447 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:34,400 Speaker 2: self caacter is great. 448 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:35,160 Speaker 3: If what you. 449 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:39,160 Speaker 2: Need is a day that you just sit and watch 450 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:42,800 Speaker 2: your movie and just not worry about the world, then 451 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:45,760 Speaker 2: wonderful you do you, and like I'll do me because 452 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:48,800 Speaker 2: that's what I want to do. But just a reminder 453 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,320 Speaker 2: that they're usually bigger pictures of what is going on 454 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,160 Speaker 2: and a bigger conversation of what needs to be said 455 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:57,560 Speaker 2: or what needs to be realized at the very point 456 00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,200 Speaker 2: like listening to your body. 457 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,320 Speaker 3: M hmm, so there you go. Thank you for going 458 00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:04,080 Speaker 3: down my rabbit hill? 459 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, of course. I mean I think it is 460 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,600 Speaker 1: important because so many of us feel like we don't 461 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,159 Speaker 1: have control anymore. So when I feel like when I 462 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:20,600 Speaker 1: hear this to me, it sounds like, well, what am 463 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:25,919 Speaker 1: I going to do? So I'll just do what I 464 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:31,520 Speaker 1: can to get to the the next bit. This is 465 00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,440 Speaker 1: really funny to me because I've had kind of a 466 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:36,199 Speaker 1: hectic day and i have a lot to do. But 467 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:39,600 Speaker 1: I was like, maybe I'll get in bed and like 468 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:44,200 Speaker 1: read fan fiction, and to me, that's like the luxury 469 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:44,720 Speaker 1: of all. 470 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:48,000 Speaker 3: Luxury, which is amazing. Yeah, but it's funny to me. 471 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,320 Speaker 1: I didn't know you were talking about this day. 472 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:53,080 Speaker 2: I was like, oh my gosh, and he's gonna go 473 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:54,760 Speaker 2: bed rot y'all. 474 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,720 Speaker 3: The first time. 475 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:04,679 Speaker 1: Well, listeners, if you have any thoughts about this, please 476 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,159 Speaker 1: let us know. You can email us the Stuff at 477 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,480 Speaker 1: you mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can find 478 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,600 Speaker 1: us on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcast, or on Instagram 479 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,359 Speaker 1: and TikTok at stuff One Never Told You. We also 480 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,199 Speaker 1: are on YouTube. We have a tea public store, and 481 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:18,919 Speaker 1: we have a book you can get wherever you get 482 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,959 Speaker 1: your books. Thanks Zoways too, our super producer Christina, our 483 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,000 Speaker 1: executive producer My and your contributor Joey. 484 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:25,959 Speaker 3: Thank you, and thanks to you for listening. 485 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:27,960 Speaker 1: Stuffan Never Told You is production of I Heart Radio 486 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,639 Speaker 1: for More podcast from my Heart Radio You can check 487 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:31,760 Speaker 1: out the heart radio app, Apple podcast wherever you listen 488 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:32,600 Speaker 1: to your favorite show.