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Speaker 1: what would you talk about on your on your podcast?

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Speaker 1: Firm Presents Minute Morning Show. One of the things I

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Speaker 1: love about the fifteen minute Morning Show podcast so we

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Speaker 1: can actually talk about things that we cannot talk about

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Speaker 1: on the other show, the big shows. Some stuff we

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Speaker 1: can some stuff we can't. Like Today, we'll talk to

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Speaker 1: Nate about the time he went into get a massage

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Speaker 1: to the massage parlor and the woman and they're tried

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Speaker 1: to whack him off. Most happened. We'll get into that

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Speaker 1: today too, um because he got his ask gramp this weekend,

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Speaker 1: so I forgot about Let's get into that later. Okay,

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Speaker 1: make a list, but first we start with Danielle. As

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Speaker 1: we go around the room, though we have Scary and

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Speaker 1: there's Brody, and there's great Tea, and there's Garrett and

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Speaker 1: Danielle and straight Nate. So I got dressed in the

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Speaker 1: dark this morning and Froggie was talking about this the

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Speaker 1: other day, how he accidentally put on his kids underwear.

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Speaker 1: I remember, So I put on my son's sock this morning,

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Speaker 1: but only one sock. So here's my sock, right, and

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Speaker 1: here's I look alike. But this doesn't even food. You

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Speaker 1: do not want to put a teenage boys sock on? Well,

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Speaker 1: guess what it came out of the short It was clean.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, how do you do that? Or your

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Speaker 1: son's underwear? The problem? When Froggy put on his son's underwear,

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Speaker 1: his son was still in them. So how do you

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Speaker 1: not realize you're putting on two different socks because it's

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Speaker 1: getting different, You're getting dressed in the dark. Wediculous. We

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Speaker 1: really have to once again revisit this scheduling problem we

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Speaker 1: have with this show. I think we should move the

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Speaker 1: show at least daylight. Yes, that would be good, But

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Speaker 1: you guys have never done that. Come into work with

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Speaker 1: two different songs, you know, I've done it with two

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Speaker 1: different shoes. I've done that too because I was out drinking.

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Speaker 1: That'll do it. This was actually, this was years ago.

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Speaker 1: This is a long time ago. I came in with

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Speaker 1: two different black shoes. Once they were they were the

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Speaker 1: same color, but one was a totally and the height

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Speaker 1: of the shoe was different. Like something doesn't feel right.

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Speaker 1: I was limping to work today. I've worn my underwear backwards.

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Speaker 1: I've gotten in the dark. I put the underwear on,

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Speaker 1: and then you go to the bathroom, like, where the

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Speaker 1: hell's the flow? Where is the flow? You pulled to

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Speaker 1: the left, pull the right. I realized it's on your

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Speaker 1: bust shirt inside out T shirts. I've done that. Or

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Speaker 1: if you still have the little plastic thing that says

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Speaker 1: m m m m all the way down the shirt,

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Speaker 1: it's a medium. Sorry, didn't take it off here. He

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Speaker 1: does that all the time. He always wears that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but scars l L L scary takes the MS off

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Speaker 1: the mediums and puts him on his shirt so he

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Speaker 1: can look like he wears the medium. And he comes

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Speaker 1: to work and he wants us to tell him we'll

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Speaker 1: take that M off your shirt. What other hazards do

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Speaker 1: we have with our hours? There are other hazards. Not

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Speaker 1: remembering how you got in, coming coming to work still

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Speaker 1: drunk from the paper before. It happens to the best

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Speaker 1: of us. I know straight and it's been in still

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Speaker 1: in the Brie walked in. I'm like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: you smell awful. That was a booze. Just I've been

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Speaker 1: there time to time. I think the driving to like

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Speaker 1: because I realized some some mornings when I'm coming in

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Speaker 1: at four thirty that I don't realize how I got

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Speaker 1: from point A to point B, and all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: I've already crossed the bridge and I'm about to go

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Speaker 1: into a tunnel, and I go, I don't remember driving

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Speaker 1: the route. Yeah, we're not really focused, and they allow

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Speaker 1: us to drive a car. Have you ever gotten off

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Speaker 1: the wrong exit too? Like sometimes I'll be I do

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Speaker 1: Greg Piece pre show in New York, So sometimes I'm

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Speaker 1: just keep driving and then I realized I missed my

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Speaker 1: eggs and I have to call them because I totally

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Speaker 1: just like blanked out and like I don't even know

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Speaker 1: where I am and like, wait a minute, where the

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Speaker 1: healthy eggs look. I just think in any profession, a

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Speaker 1: profession that you you choose to to tackle, doing it

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Speaker 1: at those hours not always the best idea. Some people

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Speaker 1: are naturally great at waking up early. I'm not now

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Speaker 1: were I'm a night guy. My mom always said though

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Speaker 1: as a kid getting up I was always happy in

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Speaker 1: the morning, where I would do my hair and I'd

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Speaker 1: be singing whatever. But are you the first to get

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Speaker 1: up in your house right now. And I'm cursing everybody

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Speaker 1: that's sleeping, But do you let him sleep? I do

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Speaker 1: let him sleep. I get I get yelled at because

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Speaker 1: I if I'm awake, damnit, everyone's gonna get up. Clan

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Speaker 1: clan clang trolley. I'll start bashing dishes together. My kids

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Speaker 1: and my husband must sleep through everything. Because the other day,

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Speaker 1: in my medicine cabinet, I had put too many things

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Speaker 1: on one of the shelves. This the entire shelf fell crashed.

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Speaker 1: It sounded like a china cabinet or something fell over.

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Speaker 1: Not one person got up to check if I was okay.

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Speaker 1: Now one person got up to see anything. They slept

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Speaker 1: through the entire thing. I just realized I'm the only

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Speaker 1: person in this room that lives alone, and I'm excited

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Speaker 1: for it. And the more I hear these stories, I

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Speaker 1: am just so happy to be there and just I

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Speaker 1: can make all the noise I want, as little noise

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Speaker 1: as I want. I can put on all the lights.

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Speaker 1: Who care? Only when you died off on your body.

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Speaker 1: Three weeks later, I woke up the whole house last

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Speaker 1: week because I'm a creature of habit in the morning,

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Speaker 1: like most of us are. I lay out my clothes

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Speaker 1: in the in the bathroom in the hallway, and I

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Speaker 1: lay out the toothpaste and orda. Everything is in the

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Speaker 1: exact same spot. So I walk in. I turned the

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Speaker 1: shower on the warm up, I I take, I go,

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Speaker 1: I pee. I brushed my teeth while the water is

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Speaker 1: getting warm. I do everything in a routine, and then

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Speaker 1: when I'm all done, I reached for the hair dryer

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Speaker 1: to blow dry my hair. Well, the hair dryer wasn't

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Speaker 1: in the middle drawer, and it threw me off completely,

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Speaker 1: like your entire day was off trying completely. So I

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Speaker 1: went running around the house, figuring one of my kids

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Speaker 1: barred the head dryer, even though they have their own.

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Speaker 1: So I'm going through their bathroom drawers, their closets, the hallway,

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Speaker 1: the makeup table, and I'm thumping up and down the

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Speaker 1: stairs because they're on a different floor. Walk everybody up.

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Speaker 1: I barred their hair dryer, blew my hair drow whatever.

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Speaker 1: So I come on. My wife says, yeah, your daughter

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Speaker 1: left the hair dryer out. I didn't want you to

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Speaker 1: see it on the counter when you see be upset,

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Speaker 1: so I put it in the bottom of your three

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Speaker 1: bathroom drawers. By mistake was that it was that close,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't because I was so out of it,

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Speaker 1: I didn't think to look at another drawer. Well that's

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Speaker 1: the point where also out of it in the morning,

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Speaker 1: you know, like Great Tea drives a pretty far distance,

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Speaker 1: probably the furthest on the show. I have the shortest commute,

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Speaker 1: so I'm still asleep. Like an hour into the show,

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Speaker 1: I wake up live on the air. Remember when Great

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Speaker 1: Tea crashed his car into his other car, Yes, that

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Speaker 1: was a good morning. He was awake for that, though

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Speaker 1: he was awake after that, that's for sure. So have

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Speaker 1: you ever accidentally gone for a massage and the wrong

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Speaker 1: kind of massage? Partner? Straight night we turned here. Yes,

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Speaker 1: there was this massage parlor in where the hell was that?

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Speaker 1: Somewhere in California, in this little city, and it was

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Speaker 1: one of these massage parlors where they heard you get

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Speaker 1: really good massages and it was really cheap um but

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Speaker 1: you walk in there and you kind of got a

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Speaker 1: weird CD vibe when you walked into the place. So

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Speaker 1: I go, and it was a cheap massage. It was

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Speaker 1: like twenty bucks or something. So I go and I'm

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Speaker 1: laying down, face down and getting the massage, and then

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Speaker 1: I turn over under the sheet and as I'm doing so,

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Speaker 1: the woman like, my eyes are closed because I was

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Speaker 1: embarrassed that I was kind of naked. So she taps

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Speaker 1: my shoulder and I opened my eyes and she makes

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Speaker 1: up and down motion with her hands weight the shake

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Speaker 1: weight motion, and I'm like, uh no, I didn't to say,

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Speaker 1: maybe she's rolling dice. So then she just went, you know,

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Speaker 1: kind of made this expression like okay, and then did

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Speaker 1: the massage on my shoulders and my legs and stuff

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Speaker 1: like that. So then I told this story to someone

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Speaker 1: and they said, well, what did you do? What do

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Speaker 1: you mean what I was? I put my money and

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Speaker 1: my stuff on the counter and or on the little

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Speaker 1: table there. He goes, was there cash out? And I said, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I had cash in my py. Apparently that's code if

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Speaker 1: you want a handy, you put cash out visibly on

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Speaker 1: the table. Now we know, Danielle, Now you know if

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Speaker 1: I want a handy, I'm gonna a great tea. You're

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Speaker 1: gonna try. I would not have said no. I would

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Speaker 1: have I would have said, have you gone to a

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Speaker 1: place and done none. I've always wanted to. I have not,

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Speaker 1: you know, you know, our studios are right up the

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Speaker 1: street from Chinatown. There's a lot of those available. I

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Speaker 1: have walked around and I've always thought like, is that

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Speaker 1: one of those places, that one of those places is

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Speaker 1: I would love to go in there? Is this one

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Speaker 1: of those places? He's going to walk into one of

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Speaker 1: those places and not be one of those places, and

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be very awkward. It's kind of like, you know, Colm,

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Speaker 1: and it's kind of like part of what you do.

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Speaker 1: You know when you go there, you know, like it's

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Speaker 1: part of you. You can go to place that don't

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Speaker 1: do it and that's fine. When when I was a

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Speaker 1: waiter at a wedding events hall on a Saturday night,

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Speaker 1: that was like a ritual for some of these guys,

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Speaker 1: like come on, let's go to the rubb and tug.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, what, No, I don't. I'm not getting a

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Speaker 1: massage and then getting this done. But I would be mose.

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Speaker 1: Guys used to go after work just to take take

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Speaker 1: you know, uh, you know, get a rest. I guess

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Speaker 1: our do it yourself. It's just not as fun though.

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Speaker 1: Hands I'm gonna put cash out on my counter and

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Speaker 1: just doak that, and they also got his ask okay,

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Speaker 1: who grabs? So we were we I go to this

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Speaker 1: boutique every time I'm in Iowa. I I go there

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Speaker 1: once a year um or you know, whenever we go

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Speaker 1: back to the Iowa say fair, and I buy a

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Speaker 1: couple of things because I love it. I'm not would

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Speaker 1: say the name of it. I absolutely love it. So

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Speaker 1: we all went in there and I bought some stuff

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Speaker 1: and Nate want some the first girlfriend and he walked

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Speaker 1: out with a little extra. She one of the ladies

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Speaker 1: there grabbed his butt. Yeah, she grabbed my butt, and

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Speaker 1: I was who else? I thought was Danielle for a second,

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Speaker 1: but then it was like a long, firm, like meaty grip.

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Speaker 1: And then I turned around and she goes, you don't mind,

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Speaker 1: do you? I'm like, what the So what did you

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Speaker 1: say to her? I guess not, you know, I didn't

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Speaker 1: know what to say, Like, what are you saying with

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Speaker 1: something like that? Yeah, thank you? Porn got off in

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Speaker 1: a rubbin tug and Chipotle this pu where he goes.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know what to say. I mean, I was

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Speaker 1: kind of taken aback by it. She took your back backside? Well,

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Speaker 1: so I didn't even get a discount on the earrings. No,

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Speaker 1: but we didn't meet. We did meet. It's going to

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Speaker 1: give it a wife, I said, I don't want to

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Speaker 1: say anyway. So I do think that if someone grabs

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Speaker 1: your butt, then you know, if you're offended, you should

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Speaker 1: say something. You should say. Look, you don't. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to cause a scene now, I know, but they

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Speaker 1: shouldn't do that. It's my butt. Hey, how would you

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Speaker 1: have reacted if someone grabbed Joe? But I would have said,

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Speaker 1: let's go to more. I just you know, but I

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Speaker 1: do want to okay you. Oh. I wanted to say

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Speaker 1: something about the massage, but not a massage. You know.

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Speaker 1: The other day I was walking up the street and

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Speaker 1: I saw massage Pollard, but I didn't see anything on

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Speaker 1: the menu for back scratching. And I think that we've

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Speaker 1: forgotten about the art of back scratching exactly. And I

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Speaker 1: just don't receive enough backscratching. And I think that everybody,

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Speaker 1: if you asked Scotty b is the anytime because I

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Speaker 1: always know when Scotty's behind me because he'll scratch my

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Speaker 1: back and I'm like, oh, Scotty even scratch my back

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Speaker 1: for you Scotty be can we bring him in here.

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Speaker 1: He's in the middle of working in the other room.

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Speaker 1: I'm fascinated by what happened to him over the weekend.

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Speaker 1: So over the weekend there was there big storms and everything,

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Speaker 1: and Scotty lives in this beautiful area that has very tall,

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Speaker 1: tall trees. Well, he got out of his wife's car

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Speaker 1: to go do something and eds as he was walking away,

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Speaker 1: and I think the stories I was I was coming

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Speaker 1: back to the car. I was picking up my neighbors

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Speaker 1: for dinner. And as I was walking back to the

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Speaker 1: car and I was about to pull on the door handle,

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Speaker 1: this huge tree fell. I heard cracking like you would

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Speaker 1: hear in the forest, you know, like timber or that

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Speaker 1: cracking sound. And I looked up and in my head,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know what to do right now.

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Speaker 1: Do I move the car or do I run away?

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Speaker 1: And uh, I guess my feet told me to run away,

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Speaker 1: and I did, thankfully, because it was less than three

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Speaker 1: seconds before the thing totaled both of our cars. So

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Speaker 1: if you had been sitting in that car, you would

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Speaker 1: be dead. At the very least I would have lost

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Speaker 1: my legs because it sheered off the steering wheel. The

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Speaker 1: steering will is completely off, so wanty to be here?

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Speaker 1: And he screams like a little child too. This time

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Speaker 1: I screamed like a man. Yes, normally I screeched like

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Speaker 1: a girl. Ah, but this time it was very It

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Speaker 1: was a deep yell. So the question was God forbid?

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Speaker 1: If we had lost Scottie on what Friday? Yes, would

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Speaker 1: we have done a show today? I hope not. The

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Speaker 1: answers we would not have done a show today. I

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Speaker 1: would want you to go on, I don't. I don't

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Speaker 1: think I could. I think the next time we did

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Speaker 1: a show, we would have talked about you and talk

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Speaker 1: about how much you meant to us. But I don't

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Speaker 1: think right after we would have done a show. How

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Speaker 1: long do you take well, I don't know. Well when

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Speaker 1: we're upset? Okay, so you're Jewish and we'd be sitting

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Speaker 1: sitting shiva on let's see if you died on Friday

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Speaker 1: and Brody help here because it's a better ju than I.

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Speaker 1: Because they can't have the funeral on Saturday because it's

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Speaker 1: shop us, so he could have the funeral on Sunday,

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Speaker 1: but it's hard to get a place to book on

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Speaker 1: a Sunday so fig a funeral on Monday, sitting shiva

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Speaker 1: for a week on the following Monday. But here's the thing, though,

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Speaker 1: when you sit shiva, you have to cover up the

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Speaker 1: mirrors because you're not supposed to think about your own appearance,

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Speaker 1: your own vanity. Nate would be screwed. You couldn't you

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Speaker 1: have to bring your own mirror. Why is Nate lucked

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Speaker 1: in the bathroom the whole time? Well, so I'm just

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Speaker 1: I saw pictures. If you look at Scotty's Instagram page,

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Speaker 1: you'll see what happened to the car. And when you

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Speaker 1: see this, you'll go, holy shit, that could have killed him.

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Speaker 1: And what's your on on Instagram? You ze Scotty b

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Speaker 1: z Scotty b go look at it. Kind of crazy,

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Speaker 1: it's insane. Give me a hug. So I asked Scotty

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Speaker 1: this morning, go, oh, you're getting a rental car, And

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Speaker 1: this is what he told me. Well, probably about a

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Speaker 1: year or two ago, I dropped the rental car carverage.

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Speaker 1: I said, it's like a hundred fifty dollars a year.

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Speaker 1: I got z one hundred trucks I can drive. I

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Speaker 1: don't need to get rental car insurance. Your neighbor's tree

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Speaker 1: fall in your car, it's your neighbor's responsibility to cover

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Speaker 1: your car and shape. The problem is the problem is

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Speaker 1: I know it's so fucking rude anyway. So the problem

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Speaker 1: is he's got one of these fly by night insurance

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Speaker 1: companies that no one's ever heard of before, that wasn't

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Speaker 1: even open until today. And when he called, he was like, no,

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Speaker 1: his insurance company is gonna take care of that. Don't

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Speaker 1: have Farmers, They definitely don't. They don't have anything you've

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Speaker 1: ever heard of before in your life. I love Farmers,

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Speaker 1: so I I called my insurance company and they'll hash

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Speaker 1: it out with them. But you see, I think I

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Speaker 1: would move to Farmers because they have that jingle. I

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Speaker 1: love the Farmers so typically, you know, I say, oh

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Speaker 1: that's a cute commercial. It doesn't mean I'm gonna start

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Speaker 1: using their product, but I like their product. But back

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Speaker 1: to you, Scotty, Yes, yeah, if I prefer the like

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Speaker 1: a good neighbor's thing, what about life from Progressive? We'll see.

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Speaker 1: My insurance company is called Chubb, which reminds me of

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Speaker 1: an erect penis Chubb Insurance. I've got Chubb. I got

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Speaker 1: Chubb Insurance. But anyway, Scotty, we don't have a second here.

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Speaker 1: We're so happy that you're okay. And I know it's

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Speaker 1: going to be an inconvenience because you know, trying to

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Speaker 1: figure out the car situation with your wife and everything,

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Speaker 1: but uh yeah, if you look at that picture Instagram,

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Speaker 1: Z Scotty, B go look at that. And we went

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Speaker 1: out for dinner twenty minutes later. I couldn't miss dinner,

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Speaker 1: had a reservation. Why not you have the I would

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Speaker 1: own his neighbor's house at this boy would free dessert,

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Speaker 1: not free house. We love He's got it. The fifteen

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Speaker 1: Minute Morning Show