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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two Case story Time podcast hosts, and we have some

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Speaker 1: ancient wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want

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Speaker 1: to hear the wisdom from two old heads that know

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Speaker 1: more than they know what to do with, you're gonna

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Speaker 1: have to wait for a quick message from our sponsors

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Speaker 1: for the next two minutes or so.

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Speaker 2: My wife was living a double wife our whole marriage.

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Speaker 3: She's got the best of both worlds.

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Speaker 1: You might find my story hard to believe because it's

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Speaker 1: too crazy to be believable. Too many things happened to

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Speaker 1: put all in one post, but I will do my

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Speaker 1: best mine now. Ex wife and I were married for

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Speaker 1: sixteen years. Dang, that's a while. We had rough patches

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Speaker 1: in our marriage, but we always made it work. We

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Speaker 1: had many happy years too. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 1: from Eastern Europe and SD and if you want to

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Speaker 1: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

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Speaker 1: story tem sub rid it. So about two years ago

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Speaker 1: was when the big drama started. We had what seemed

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Speaker 1: like a small rough patch again, nothing big, just a

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Speaker 1: regular family disagreement and family business decisions that we were

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Speaker 1: trying to resolve. But I felt in my gut that

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Speaker 1: there was something else behind our fights. Normally, in our marriage,

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Speaker 1: he was always the smarter one who made the first

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Speaker 1: step towards peace. That trait kept hers an our family together. Well,

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Speaker 1: my ego was always too big to make the first step. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I mean, hey, at least he's admitting it. It was good, okay,

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Speaker 1: But this time was different. She showed no sign of

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Speaker 1: backing off. She stopped trying to solve our disagreements and

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Speaker 1: started staying late at what I thought was her friend's house.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, so now they've had a disagreement in their marriage.

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Speaker 3: And usually he's just like, oh, well, she always solves it.

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Speaker 3: She's always the calm, collected one. And then he's like,

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Speaker 3: this time she wasn't. I wasn't gonna do it.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna pick up that slack, not me. Do

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Speaker 1: you see an ICU about what her friend's house is. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: when I realized things were getting worse, I stepped over

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Speaker 1: my ego and tried to apologize. To my surprise, she

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Speaker 1: didn't respond to my efforts to make things better.

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Speaker 3: Oh, p's like I actually did it this time.

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Speaker 1: I just things she didn't like you.

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Speaker 3: I tried really hard once time, and I wad it

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Speaker 3: until it got really bad, but I did it. I

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Speaker 3: did it. She happy.

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Speaker 1: Well. I started to suspect infidelity but had no proof

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Speaker 1: when my jealousy punted, and I even started spying on

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Speaker 1: her for a couple of days. But then I decided

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Speaker 1: that wasn't the right thing to do and let things

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Speaker 1: resolve naturally and that would be more honorable. So I

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Speaker 1: started doubting my suspicions and thought I was just being Paradoix. So, oh,

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Speaker 1: he's got it back to baseline. Shortly later, he texted

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Speaker 1: me a question about our family business disagreement. When it

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Speaker 1: texted back with business decisions she didn't agree with, she

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Speaker 1: replied with an ultimatum. And we know that an ultimatum

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Speaker 1: is the start of a blossoming relationship, right, Ultimatums and

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Speaker 1: relationship go like cookies and cream, They look go like

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Speaker 1: war in politics. It basically said that either it had

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Speaker 1: to be her way or we needed to end everything

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Speaker 1: and divorce. So she's put in an ultimatum right in there.

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Speaker 3: Oh what I know now?

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Speaker 1: A two years later made me realize that this argument

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Speaker 1: was only an excuse to initiate divorce. She didn't have

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Speaker 1: the guts to tell me the true reasons. I didn't

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Speaker 1: give in because of this agreement seemed too small to

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Speaker 1: go separate ways over. I thought she was bluffing and

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Speaker 1: being childish, so I bluffed back and agreed to divorce.

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Speaker 3: Opie's like. I thought she was bluffing about the divorce,

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Speaker 3: so I said, yeah, divorce you. Opie's consistently shown that

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Speaker 3: he is not going to be the first one to

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Speaker 3: like op he apologize.

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Speaker 1: Ever, I don't think anyone deserves to be cheated No, no,

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Speaker 1: not clear, to be clear, but I don't think Opie's

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Speaker 1: doing a great job of making himself not a person

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Speaker 1: that someone would want to toe.

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Speaker 3: Well the point it's okay, I don't think that's it.

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Speaker 3: There's no reason for anyone if you cheated it.

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Speaker 1: That's what I said.

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Speaker 3: But I think the problem here is that he's just

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Speaker 3: bad at relationship.

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Speaker 4: What Sam's saying is he's not being very defensible to

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Speaker 4: getting cheated on.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying, Like,

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Speaker 1: if there was a person that like, there are ways

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Speaker 1: to be better at not being cheated on, and one

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Speaker 1: of the one of them is being good at relationships.

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Speaker 3: This is bad.

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Speaker 1: No, all right, yes, if he's shutting it down? Smart

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Speaker 1: smart no, smart smart smart? But ope, what are you doing? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I thought giving in it would show weakness and make

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Speaker 1: things worse.

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Speaker 3: What is it's like anytime I apologize?

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Speaker 1: It's This was how I was raised. I believe the

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Speaker 1: man should be the bread winner and the woman should

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Speaker 1: put family first and nurture love and peace in the home. Yike.

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Speaker 1: Once the divorced train started rolling, ambitions took over and

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Speaker 1: there was no resolution in sight.

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Speaker 3: Dude, I can tell why your relationship didn't work out.

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Speaker 1: We lived for the first year while the divorce was finalized,

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Speaker 1: then lived another year separately and officially divorced. Since I

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Speaker 1: didn't know the true reasons for divorce, I convinced myself

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Speaker 1: that the family business was the real reason. Even though

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Speaker 1: the disagreement wasn't big enough to justify divorce, I started

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Speaker 1: feeling guilty, as if I had chosen my business over

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Speaker 1: my family. The divorce court let me keep the business

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Speaker 1: since I was more capable of running it, and to

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Speaker 1: compensate for my guilt, I chose a very generous financial

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Speaker 1: settlement for my wife. I willingly paid four times the

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Speaker 1: amount of spouse's support in child alimony required by local law.

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Speaker 2: What defense this is all about? Defense?

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Speaker 3: Well, he's like, no, you don't understand. I'm learning.

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Speaker 1: When I'm gonna give her so much money, We're.

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Speaker 3: Gonna give her so much money she won't even know

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Speaker 3: what to do with it.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't a wealthy businessman, but the amount I decided

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Speaker 1: to pay allowed her to live comfortably, stay in the

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Speaker 1: same house, and keep our daughter in the same school,

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Speaker 1: even though it meant I had to work more and

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Speaker 1: struggle financially. I don't know if you had to do that, Opie.

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Speaker 1: Even though our divorce started with drama and anger, a

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Speaker 1: few months into the separation, my wife started showing signs

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Speaker 1: of regrets. Her temper gradually cooled down, and she actually

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Speaker 1: started being nice to me. A week before the final

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Speaker 1: divorce court date, even jokingly hinted that we could skip

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Speaker 1: it and save the lawyer's fee. So maybe finally, oh piece,

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Speaker 1: oh piece, a bluff is working, you know.

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Speaker 2: I hope.

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Speaker 1: We show up to divorce court, yeah, crawling back, trying

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Speaker 1: to get out of the divorce. I don't think so.

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Speaker 1: I don't think so. I'll get a bluff even harder.

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Speaker 1: I thought things had gone too far and that finalizing

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Speaker 1: the divorce was the only right thing to do. We

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Speaker 1: got officially divorced and stayed separated for another year. Her

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Speaker 1: signs of regret only grew stronger. She started inviting me

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Speaker 1: to dinner for a daughter's sake. I always turned down

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Speaker 1: her advances.

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Speaker 3: I'm not gonna let her win. Nah.

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Speaker 1: Fast forward to recent days. Okay, we're getting caught up

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Speaker 1: to the present. One evening, I got a text from

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Speaker 1: her asking if it would be okay for her to

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Speaker 1: come over with her girlfriend to have drinks.

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Speaker 3: Girl friend, that's a girl.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I think it's friend, though maybe maybe

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Speaker 1: it's an actual girlfriend.

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Speaker 3: Could be.

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Speaker 1: I was feeling very down that day, and to my

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Speaker 1: own surprise, I agreed. After a night of drinks and conversation,

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Speaker 1: my ex wife's girlfriend started talking to me while my

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Speaker 1: ex was in the bathroom. She told me how my

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Speaker 1: ex missed me, how she thought and talked about me

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Speaker 1: all the time, how much she cried about me, et CETERA.

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Speaker 1: Long story short, My ex and I ended up sleeping

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Speaker 1: together that night at my place. Okay, so they're they're canoodling.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: The next day, all that it wasn't supposed to happen.

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Speaker 1: Drama started. She said she needed to think about what happened.

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Speaker 1: I felt that I missed her a lot, and I

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Speaker 1: wanted to forget the two years of separation and start fresh.

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Speaker 3: Two.

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Speaker 1: I thought this long separation had been good for both

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Speaker 1: of us, allowing us to realize how much we loved

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Speaker 1: each other and reflect on our mistakes. But the next

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Speaker 1: day came the shocker. Oh put the I see you

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Speaker 1: and the chat if you know what the chaka is?

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Speaker 1: She called and said we needed to talk. When we met,

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Speaker 1: she revealed that she had been living with a man

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Speaker 1: under the same roof for close to two years.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so the whole time of the separation, Yes, the whole.

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Speaker 1: Time of the separation. She had been pregnant with him

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Speaker 1: a year ago, but lost the baby in the early stay.

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Speaker 1: She told me she never loved him and was always

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Speaker 1: dreaming about getting back together with me. According to her,

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Speaker 1: this guy was extremely nice in the beginning and got

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Speaker 1: her attention by overwhelming her with attention and gifts. Shortly after,

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Speaker 1: he became very controlling and emotionally harmful. I understand that

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Speaker 1: my story is hard to believe me. How could I

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Speaker 1: not know? The thing is, our family consists of immigrants

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Speaker 1: from Europe, and we don't have any family members here

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Speaker 1: who could have told me. Family friends weren't there to

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Speaker 1: inform me either. Because this happens in divorce, you don't

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Speaker 1: only lose your spouse, you lose your friends too. One

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Speaker 1: lesson I learn from this experience. Family is important. You

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Speaker 1: have to build your own friendships too, Not just family friends,

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Speaker 1: but friends of your own will be there to support

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Speaker 1: you no matter what. Being in a state of shock

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Speaker 1: but moved by her honesty, I accepted her story. I

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Speaker 1: think this isn't the end. I think the story.

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Speaker 3: I think she's lying.

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Speaker 1: I think two years, I think two gears is the

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Speaker 1: tip of the iceberg.

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Speaker 3: Ye. I think I think she's lying. And I think

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Speaker 3: OP sees this as well. I finally won, she came

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Speaker 3: crawling back, and now she'll do whatever I say.

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Speaker 1: So, are you seeing a little bit of my cat's

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Speaker 1: name is Karen? Says narcissist? Are you seeing a little

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Speaker 1: bit of narcissm in Op?

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Speaker 3: I think so. I think that he can't even fathom

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Speaker 3: that she's like lying to him. He's like, I'm out

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Speaker 3: smarting her at every turn.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I see that as I feel

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Speaker 1: like I see someone who is bad at relationships, bad

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Speaker 1: at saying when they're wrong, which I don't think he's

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Speaker 1: gotten better at that.

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Speaker 3: In the last at all.

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Speaker 1: I think she's also lying. Yeah, it doesn't mean she

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Speaker 1: gets the cheat on him, but I also to think

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Speaker 1: he as she is lying. I think two years is

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Speaker 1: the tip of the iceberg to gather in folks, I

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Speaker 1: think it was for fourteen years. I think it was

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Speaker 1: for the entirety of the relationship that she had. Three

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Speaker 1: You think it was a little bit of an overlap.

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Speaker 1: I want to say it's I want to say it's

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Speaker 1: the whole thing, but let's see what actually is true.

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Speaker 1: So he asked her to move to my place immediately

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Speaker 1: to avoid further abuse. Because the guy that she is with.

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Speaker 3: She's still with him, He's still with them.

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Speaker 1: There's over there's overlap. I know, I know it was

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Speaker 1: so naive of me to make that decision on the spot,

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Speaker 1: but I was overwhelmed with emotions and couldn't think clearly.

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Speaker 1: The next day I got another shocker. In a long

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Speaker 1: conversation with her, I caught her in a lie When

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Speaker 1: confronted with her own story not making sense, she revealed

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Speaker 1: that what she told me wasn't actually accurate. The truth

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Speaker 1: was this man didn't show up in her life after

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Speaker 1: our separation. He appeared a month before we split. Remember

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Speaker 1: that that was the month that things with that business

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Speaker 1: disagreement changed, when she suddenly didn't try to find common

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Speaker 1: ground and instead stood her ground. Yeah, she had started

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Speaker 1: cheating on me with him a month before we divorced.

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Speaker 1: Now it all started making sense. The real reason behind

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Speaker 1: your fighting about business and other things was her own infidelity.

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Speaker 1: It was all an excuse to blame everything on me.

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Speaker 1: Now she's begging for forgiveness, and I don't know how

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Speaker 1: I'll be able to forgive her after so many lives.

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Speaker 1: One thing I know for sure is that she loves me,

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Speaker 1: But that doesn't make it easier to forgive. It's the opposite.

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Speaker 1: How could she betray me in such a twisted manner.

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Speaker 1: I believe myself for not showing her enough affection and attention,

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Speaker 1: thinking that this was the trigger that caused her to

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Speaker 1: drift away. I was too concentrated on supporting the family

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Speaker 1: financially and forgot to nourish the emotional part of it.

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Speaker 1: Here is my story. I spilled my guts here and

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Speaker 1: somehow it made things easier putting it all into words.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for reading it all, and thanks for the advice

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Speaker 1: you guys will send me. We got some comments, we

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Speaker 1: got some updates. But what do you think is this relationship? Salvagable?

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Speaker 3: No, you guys have been separated for two years. You

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Speaker 3: found out that she cheated on you right before you

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Speaker 3: got separated. Let's stay separated. You weren't. You didn't have

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Speaker 3: a good marriage before you certainly won't after.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And I don't think he's gotten better at like

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Speaker 1: admitting fault either, like not saying that he is. I

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Speaker 1: don't think he is completely to blame, but I don't

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Speaker 1: think he is blameless in the marriage falling apart. Obviously

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Speaker 1: she is way more to blame for actually cheating. But

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Speaker 1: I don't think he is ready for a relationship. I

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Speaker 1: think he needs to learn to own up to when

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Speaker 1: he makes poor decisions. Yes, and I think she needs

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Speaker 1: to learn to not cheat.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Sure, from the words of Samuel Donner, Oh God, cheating

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Speaker 4: makes relationships stronger, so they could come through this and

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Speaker 4: actually be stronger.

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Speaker 2: You guys are forgetting that part that.

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Speaker 1: Came with a lot of baggage in that In that thing,

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Speaker 1: what I said was, it makes it stronger. If someone

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Speaker 1: cheats in a relationship and then they choose to stay

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Speaker 1: together and actually work on things that cause that cheating,

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Speaker 1: it can make a relationship stronger. But I don't think

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Speaker 1: generally people should stay together through cheating because it's very

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Speaker 1: hard to trust someone after that and almost impossible to

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Speaker 1: build back that truck.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. The thing is that op already you know you like,

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Speaker 3: was always trying to one up his ex partner and

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Speaker 3: using things like oh like oh yeah, it wasn't like

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Speaker 3: I'm winning blah blah blah blah, and so now that

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Speaker 3: he actually has something over her, he's never gonna emit.

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Speaker 1: Fault no, no, Yeah. I think Casey Roberts agrees as

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Speaker 1: if ya. Both of them are great at snatching defeat

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Speaker 1: from the jaws of victory. Dang poetic nice but comments

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Speaker 1: comment one. But whilst you were away being a man

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Speaker 1: and providing for your family as a man should, she

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Speaker 1: wasn't being a wife to you. She cheated on you

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Speaker 1: with someone else. She tried to replace you because she

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Speaker 1: thought she had found someone better. For two plus years,

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Speaker 1: she didn't care how much he hurt you. Imagine the

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Speaker 1: nights you spent crying, wondering what you did wrong. She

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Speaker 1: was in bed with that guy. Then you speak about

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Speaker 1: what you didn't do, and believe me, men are not perfect.

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Speaker 1: But as long as you tried to put a roof

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Speaker 1: over above your kid's head and food on the table,

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Speaker 1: you deserve praise. Don't listen to the speel you have

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Speaker 1: told yourself. You do not sound like a bad person.

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Speaker 1: The fact that you gave four times alimony proves this.

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Speaker 1: You didn't deserve this. I don't think, oh, he's a

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Speaker 1: bad person, but I think just because he's financially generous

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Speaker 1: doesn't mean he was emotionally generous. Yeah, And I think

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Speaker 1: there are many dimensions of a relationship. And he admits

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Speaker 1: like he was financially there for his family, but he

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Speaker 1: was not emotionally there. And I think that like, to

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Speaker 1: get to a place where you can have a better relationship,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna need You're gonna need that emotional maturity or Sure,

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Speaker 1: if you truly were horrible, she would have divorced you

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Speaker 1: a long time ago and not cheated on you. Doesn't

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Speaker 1: take sixteen years to realize someone is horrible. The ruse

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Speaker 1: of her friend coming over to yours albs Bro, she

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Speaker 1: regrets shocking up with a new guy and realize what

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Speaker 1: she lost. Do you think for one moment if he

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Speaker 1: was a decent, successful guy, who'd be back talking to you.

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Speaker 1: I know it hurts, Bro, and I'm here for you,

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Speaker 1: even as a stranger. But she didn't care for you

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Speaker 1: and doesn't care for you. All it is is grass

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Speaker 1: isn't greener. You realize what she lost, but that doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean this won't happen to you again. What happens the

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Speaker 1: next time or the time with that? You have two paths.

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Speaker 1: You can either try to resolve your issues and live

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Speaker 1: with this for the rest of your life, constantly fearing

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Speaker 1: she will cheat on you again, or you can move

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Speaker 1: on with your life start afresh. One thing I find

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Speaker 1: is most people are so scared of being alone they

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Speaker 1: choose to be with anyone, even a manipulative cheater. You

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Speaker 1: are better than that. You've already given her an unwarranted

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Speaker 1: sum for the alimony money she has undoubtedly spent on

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Speaker 1: her new man. Please don't give her your dignity walk away.

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Speaker 1: Set an example for your kids. You need to find yourself,

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Speaker 1: start a sport, get a hobby, open a business. The

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Speaker 1: amount of time you have invested in her needs to

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Speaker 1: be put elsewhere to more productive means. I know it's

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Speaker 1: easy for me to say, but I'm giving you the

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Speaker 1: perspective from the other side, the side you're not seeing,

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Speaker 1: and that is where that story ends.

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Speaker 3: Dang.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think OP.

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Speaker 3: I think OP has a lot to learn.

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Speaker 1: I think I hope he has a lot to learn.

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Speaker 1: I don't think he's ready to jump back into this relationship.

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Speaker 1: I think it would be a very bad IDEA tweet

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Speaker 1: memory says paycheck father slash husband. Yeah, I mean I

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00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:42,400
Speaker 1: think because a father slash husband provides financially doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: that they're giving everything that a relationship needs.

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Speaker 3: No, And he said, he was like, yeah, and I

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Speaker 3: did more than they asked, so I'm the best Therip

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Speaker 3: was and it's like, Okay, you're providing financially, but clearly

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Speaker 3: haven't done.

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Speaker 1: He did admit that he wasn't there for them in

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Speaker 1: the way that he should should have been here exactly.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, that's what I'm saying, Like he hasn't provided

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Speaker 3: the emotional support to anyone. And I think that while

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Speaker 3: I absolutely agree, don't get back with your X because

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Speaker 3: she cheated on you, and that it's terrible for that.

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Speaker 3: I think that you as an individual have a lot

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Speaker 3: to learn about how to be there for your kids,

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Speaker 3: how to be there for a future partner, and how

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Speaker 3: to be there for yourself.

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Speaker 1: Eight the men, Eight to the men. But I think

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Speaker 1: that is where this story ends. But not this stream.

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Speaker 1: We got another story right for you.

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Speaker 3: My fiance has been lying to me for months.

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Speaker 1: Get the liar, burn them at.

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Speaker 3: The steake trigger warning mentions of substances. So I met

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Speaker 3: my now fiance, female twenty six, about three years ago

362
00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:49,600
Speaker 3: through mutual friends of ours. She was very innocent, didn't

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Speaker 3: drink much, didn't smoke, never did substances. We had a

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Speaker 3: really good relationship and everything was going great, and so

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Speaker 3: why I asked her to marry me. Wooo. We moved

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Speaker 3: in together around the same time too. She has a daughter,

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Speaker 3: seven that lives with us as well. By the way,

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00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:09,080
Speaker 3: this comes from Ages Nameless and if you want to

369
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,160
Speaker 3: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

370
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:15,000
Speaker 3: storytime separate it. So, around six months ago, my fiance

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Speaker 3: starts going out drinking with her friends often, which is

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Speaker 3: totally fine. I always offered to pick her up if

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Speaker 3: she's stuck too. However, it became more and more often,

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Speaker 3: from once every two months to every single weekend without fail.

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Speaker 3: Then she started staying out overnight, but she always told

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Speaker 3: me where she is and was always back around nine am.

377
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Speaker 3: I started to worry because this just wasn't usual behavior

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Speaker 3: for her, even though she told me where she was,

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Speaker 3: it was very unusual for her to act like this.

380
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Speaker 3: So cut forward to maybe three months after the first

381
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Speaker 3: time she stayed out all night, she goes out with

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Speaker 3: her friends and again stays out all night, this time

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00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,280
Speaker 3: though she didn't come home in the morning. There's also

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Speaker 3: no contact from her at all, so I contacted her

385
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:04,399
Speaker 3: friend Pia via phone, who she was out with. They said,

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Speaker 3: we left her at the bar with their friend, Logan

387
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:11,280
Speaker 3: male twenty six. Ooh I had never heard of before.

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00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,520
Speaker 3: Ooh Logan.

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Speaker 1: Also, I feel like that friend maybe was tattling.

390
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,919
Speaker 3: We left her with Logan.

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00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:22,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh, you don't know Logan. Oh, he's like super hot.

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Speaker 3: I thought that. I thought that Op would have told

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Speaker 3: you about Logan.

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00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:27,880
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean they're always together, I mean, and they're

395
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:28,520
Speaker 1: always like.

396
00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:34,320
Speaker 3: It' smooching this guy had never been mentioned. My fiance

397
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,080
Speaker 3: was the type of girl to never be around another guy.

398
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,919
Speaker 3: I didn't know this guy's full name, so I couldn't

399
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Speaker 3: contact him. Her friend, who I was on the phone with,

400
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,720
Speaker 3: also said, I have something else to tell you to

401
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:49,840
Speaker 3: Your fiance has been doing substances for a while. We

402
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,600
Speaker 3: left her with a guy who she buys it off.

403
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:56,359
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, Oh, friend, bad, bad friend.

404
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,199
Speaker 4: No, no, no, And you know what happens to the

405
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Speaker 4: people that they buy from.

406
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:01,840
Speaker 1: No Ah, what happened?

407
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,600
Speaker 2: They hook up, and then they have a kid, and

408
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:05,080
Speaker 2: then they have a family of.

409
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,120
Speaker 3: Four, and then one of the movies comes a producer.

410
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,240
Speaker 2: One of becomes a producer in LA. That's how that happens.

411
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:11,280
Speaker 1: This is the origins.

412
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:12,200
Speaker 2: I've seen this before.

413
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:13,280
Speaker 1: I've seen this movie.

414
00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:16,639
Speaker 3: I know the signs. So my head started spinning. I

415
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:18,840
Speaker 3: was worried about where she was, but also what she

416
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,720
Speaker 3: was doing. Again, this was a girl that would never

417
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:26,200
Speaker 3: ever be near another guy and never do substances, so

418
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:29,960
Speaker 3: I was perplexed. About twelve noon, after I had exhausted

419
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,720
Speaker 3: all my options, contacting all of her friends and family

420
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,320
Speaker 3: to ask if they had seen her, all saying they

421
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:39,280
Speaker 3: had not I started to get really worried, maybe rashly.

422
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 3: I contacted the police to report her missing. At this point,

423
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:44,800
Speaker 3: I was on the verge of tears as I thought

424
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Speaker 3: she could be passed away.

425
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Speaker 1: Oh jeez.

426
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,879
Speaker 3: It may have been irrational, but I was genuinely worried.

427
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,679
Speaker 3: I mean, you just found out that she's with like

428
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Speaker 3: a substance dealer.

429
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I don't know. If I would go

430
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:59,800
Speaker 1: straight to she's like passed away, No, I would think

431
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,639
Speaker 1: she's just like she probably doing body lines off of

432
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,280
Speaker 1: each other's booty cracks.

433
00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:06,480
Speaker 3: Oh I hate that.

434
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:09,400
Speaker 1: No, me too. I don't. I don't want it any

435
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 1: more than the next guy.

436
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:11,680
Speaker 2: But you brought it into existence.

437
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 1: That's just things people do on the weekend.

438
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:14,760
Speaker 4: No.

439
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 3: Once I had officially reported her missing, I then had

440
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 3: to contact her parents and tell them the same thing.

441
00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 3: She didn't come home. I cannot contact her, et cetera.

442
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 3: They were wailing down the phone to me, crying and screaming.

443
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 3: Another three hours pass her mom constantly ringing for updates.

444
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,240
Speaker 3: When my fiance decides it's time to come home. She

445
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 3: walked through the door, and I was relieved, but also furious.

446
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,920
Speaker 3: I walked over to her and gave her a hug,

447
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,119
Speaker 3: but demanded to know where she had been. I felt

448
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,679
Speaker 3: like I deserved to know. She told me I stayed

449
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,720
Speaker 3: at Pia's house, the friend of hers I had spoken

450
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:51,760
Speaker 3: to hours before.

451
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:56,679
Speaker 1: Oh my god, your story.

452
00:21:57,119 --> 00:22:00,280
Speaker 3: I didn't even like talk to Pea about this. I

453
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 3: knew this wasn't true, as I had had a conversation

454
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 3: with Pia. So I told my fiance, I know you're lying.

455
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 3: She said, I thwear down on my daughter's life. That's

456
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 3: the truth. Dang, your daughter's your daughter away. I said again,

457
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,440
Speaker 3: I know you're lying, as I've spoken to Pia and

458
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:22,080
Speaker 3: she's confirmed that she left you in the bar. I asked,

459
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,639
Speaker 3: who are you with when you left Pia? She said,

460
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 3: I was alone. I promised I was alone. Again, I said,

461
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,199
Speaker 3: I know this is a lie. You were with Logan.

462
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 3: Who is he to you? She said, how do you now?

463
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:36,480
Speaker 3: I said, Pia told me anyway. I won't go into

464
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 3: specifics of the whole conversation, but she continued to lie.

465
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, she does not sound like a good person to

466
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 1: be right, or a good liar or a good liar, yeah.

467
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 3: Said she was only with Logan for twenty minutes. Then

468
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 3: it was an hour. Then it was I don't know

469
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 3: how long. She eventually told me that she stayed at

470
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,000
Speaker 3: her friend Laura's house.

471
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:55,560
Speaker 1: This is just a lie. You're just like you've lost

472
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:57,720
Speaker 1: all credibility with the first lie.

473
00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's logan no, no, no.

474
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:05,640
Speaker 1: No, right, she be used all the time. Yeah, dyslexic

475
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:06,480
Speaker 1: of the mind.

476
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,959
Speaker 3: I said, is that the actual truth? She said, I

477
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 3: promise that's the truth. So, being the silly man I am,

478
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,400
Speaker 3: I believe what you just caught her in like six

479
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:17,359
Speaker 3: thousand lies.

480
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 1: Casey Roberts says, trickle truth master, This is trickle truth

481
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:24,120
Speaker 1: one on one right here. Right. If you have someone

482
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:28,200
Speaker 1: who you know is lying to you with their first statement,

483
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,399
Speaker 1: and you know is lying to you with their second statement,

484
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,359
Speaker 1: what they're going to do is they're just going to

485
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:37,880
Speaker 1: find the the like lie that you can believe. They're

486
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,120
Speaker 1: just gonna go down. They're going to keep lying and toll.

487
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, I guess I can believe that lie.

488
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 1: They're not telling you the truth.

489
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:44,720
Speaker 3: They ain't telling you the truth.

490
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:46,639
Speaker 1: I ain't telling you the truth.

491
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 3: I also asked her about the substances she lied shocker

492
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 3: and said she had only done them twice and she

493
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:57,239
Speaker 3: regretted it. Both times, I knew this wasn't true due

494
00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 3: to my conversation with Pia's still to this day tells

495
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:04,399
Speaker 3: me it's just twice. But the fact is her friends

496
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,640
Speaker 3: rang me and told me that she is always doing substances,

497
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 3: and that leads me to believe that only doing them

498
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:11,360
Speaker 3: twice isn't.

499
00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,400
Speaker 1: True, and that means she's always hanging around logan yep.

500
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 1: Because also if she probably I mean, she's probably getting

501
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:22,399
Speaker 1: that that dealer boyfriend discount, you know.

502
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,359
Speaker 3: Anyway, cut to two weeks ago, we were out with

503
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 3: her friends and I had too many drinks and I

504
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 3: asked her friends, where did my fiance stay that night?

505
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,200
Speaker 3: I asked three of her friends. All three of them

506
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:38,440
Speaker 3: told me a different story. Not one of them told

507
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 3: me the same story she told me. So I brought

508
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:44,199
Speaker 3: it up to my fiance, probably the wrong time to

509
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 3: do it. When I was wasted, I said, I asked

510
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 3: all of your friends where you stayed that night? All

511
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,680
Speaker 3: of them told me a different version of events. What

512
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 3: is the truth? She only Pia is a good person here.

513
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:58,399
Speaker 1: I haven't been through situation exactly like this, but like

514
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:03,520
Speaker 1: somewhat similar. When you catch someone in a lie about something. Yeah,

515
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 1: and they continue to lie. Confronting them, I do not

516
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:12,920
Speaker 1: think does anything good for you. Like most like maybe

517
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:15,159
Speaker 1: you get to the truth, but the fact that they

518
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,359
Speaker 1: were lying consistently shows you their character and that's not

519
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,679
Speaker 1: someone you can engage with, like in a relationship with,

520
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,800
Speaker 1: because a relationship requires integrity, honesty and truth and like,

521
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,439
Speaker 1: this is not what you're getting. So no matter what

522
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,199
Speaker 1: the truth is, you know that you've gotten lies. That

523
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:32,560
Speaker 1: is enough to like put the relationship on some serious

524
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 1: pause at the very least. I mean, maybe you could

525
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,320
Speaker 1: do counseling, but doesn't even seem like she's open enough

526
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 1: for you to get to that point. So it might

527
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 1: just be the end. Yeah, okay, Billy time says the

528
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,280
Speaker 1: skirt story. Yes, y'all know about the dress story. Of

529
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:48,440
Speaker 1: course I always bring that up.

530
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 3: One of her friends, Riyah, said she stayed at her house.

531
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 3: Another friend, Tathiana, said she stayed at Logan's the guy's house,

532
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:58,960
Speaker 3: and the third friend said she stayed in her mom's shed.

533
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 3: I hate that. I don't like that. I don't I

534
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 3: don't like that. I didn't like that, Casey, I didn't

535
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:15,119
Speaker 3: like that. I didn't like that.

536
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: This is not my words, but Casey Roberts says, it's

537
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:23,160
Speaker 1: one hundred dollars for the bag free if you snort

538
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 1: it off my sausage from logan.

539
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 3: Shame on you. Oh so I questioned her on it.

540
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,840
Speaker 3: I said, are any of these stories true? She said, yes,

541
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 3: one of them is.

542
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:44,000
Speaker 1: You did decides. I don't know which one of these

543
00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 1: is true one of these? Can you click on the

544
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:48,200
Speaker 1: one that's true?

545
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:49,359
Speaker 3: Oh, I was gonna do it.

546
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 1: Logan, no swiping, logan, no swiping.

547
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 3: One of these nose tells the truth and one of

548
00:26:55,400 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 3: them lies. I asked which one? She said. She she

549
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 3: went to note, Oh, he goes which one? And she goes,

550
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 3: I stayed in my friends my mom's shed. That one's true.

551
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:12,480
Speaker 3: Now personally, yeah, I said, I don't believe her. I

552
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 3: asked why she would need to lie about where she

553
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 3: stayed if she stayed in her mom's shed. She said,

554
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:21,160
Speaker 3: I didn't want to disappoint you. She said she thinks

555
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 3: she was spiked and couldn't remember where she lived, but

556
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:27,159
Speaker 3: couldn't remember her mom's address. Oh my god, this is

557
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,639
Speaker 3: the story she is stuck with. She stayed in her

558
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,560
Speaker 3: mom's shed. She had only does substances twice, and she

559
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 3: was only with Logan for a bit but didn't stay

560
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 3: at his house. So now on Monday of this week,

561
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 3: she said she's going out with her friends on Saturday. Naturally,

562
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,439
Speaker 3: I'm worried about this after everything that has happened, I'm worried,

563
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 3: but I said, no problems, go out and enjoy yourself inside.

564
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 3: I didn't really want her to go out, but I'm

565
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:53,320
Speaker 3: not here to control her and tell her she can't

566
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 3: go out. I just asked her, respectfully, after everything that

567
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:00,320
Speaker 3: has happened, if she could please come home after her

568
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 3: night out.

569
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:06,680
Speaker 1: Bro, why are you still engaging in a relationship with her? Off? Dude,

570
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:07,720
Speaker 1: cut this off?

571
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 3: So I feel like this isn't a big ask, as

572
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 3: my thoughts are you would want to come home to

573
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,880
Speaker 3: your fiance. She tried to tell me, from her point

574
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 3: of view that if she stays at her friend's house

575
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,640
Speaker 3: and tells me that it isn't a big deal. As

576
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 3: she's telling me where she is. I tried to explain

577
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 3: to her that after everything, I have some trust issues.

578
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,359
Speaker 1: No, dude, Oh peace in love.

579
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 3: Oh he's blinded.

580
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:36,240
Speaker 1: Oh he's blinded. You know, dude, been there, been there.

581
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 3: Manugh, she just laughed at me, like laughed directly in

582
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 3: my face. She said she understands that I have trust issues,

583
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 3: but said if she's having a good time with her friends,

584
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 3: she doesn't want to come home just because I want

585
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 3: her to be at home. Just because you want to

586
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 3: hang out with me and doesn't mean I'm gonna It's

587
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 3: not like you're my fiance. Oh sorry, it's you are

588
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:01,719
Speaker 3: my fiance. My bad. She isn't going to ruin her

589
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 3: night out because I want her home. I feel a

590
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 3: lot like my feelings are invalid because she wants to

591
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,720
Speaker 3: have fun with her friends, and I would be getting

592
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:11,320
Speaker 3: in the way of that. I mean, the only thing

593
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 3: you're getting the way of is her and Logan.

594
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that that sniff and snausage.

595
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah. I'm not a controlling person. I don't have

596
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 3: access to her phone. I don't know her code for

597
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,880
Speaker 3: it either. I have never looked through her phone. But

598
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 3: since this has all happened, she is ultra protective of her.

599
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 1: Phone because she's texting Logan getting those pretty deals.

600
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:41,880
Speaker 4: She's she dang this snausage snortery yeah, Casey Roberts special, which.

601
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 3: She never was. She's always texting or messaging twenty four

602
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,880
Speaker 3: to seven. The phone does not leave her side. She

603
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 3: even puts it under her pillow when she sleeps at

604
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 3: night to keep it protected. Dude, that is not the

605
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:58,720
Speaker 3: biggest red flag I've ever heard. Okay, okay, whoa, whoa.

606
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,959
Speaker 1: I know, I know there exists people that are private,

607
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 1: people that don't want to share their locations with me,

608
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 1: you know.

609
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 3: But I don't accept that.

610
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 1: I think they momation with me more. Why are you

611
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 1: hiding dad?

612
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 3: Share? Also share your location? Why don't my parents share

613
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 3: the location with it?

614
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 1: If you're not, if you're not planning a surprise birthday

615
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 1: for me, you shouldn't be hiding your phone.

616
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 3: I agree.

617
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 2: What about Christmas?

618
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:23,720
Speaker 3: No?

619
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 1: Christmas isn't that important Christmas gifts? No? I mean maybe

620
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 1: a little bit.

621
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 3: But if we're on the way to find Santa, honestly,

622
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 3: you probably don't even need to hide your phone that

623
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 3: much to plan a surprise birthday for Sam, it's very

624
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 3: easy to surprise him. Also, she deletes messages on her

625
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 3: phone often too. I have seen her do it. She

626
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:47,160
Speaker 3: says it's part of her OCD, which I understand, But

627
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 3: she's constantly deleting messages I'm not sure if I've just

628
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 3: noticed it more because there is a lack of trust,

629
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 3: But it feels like she's deleting messages constantly, multiple times

630
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:01,960
Speaker 3: a day. She will send attacks then immediately delete the

631
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 3: text chain. It gives the impression that she's hiding something,

632
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 3: even if that isn't her intention. It's her intention. Her

633
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 3: intention is to hide something, dude, because she's hiding something.

634
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:14,720
Speaker 1: My guy, my guy, you gotta nut up and get

635
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 1: out of this thing.

636
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 4: This whole theme of the episode is playing defense, waiting,

637
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:22,040
Speaker 4: Like the guy before this did not do anything to, like,

638
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:24,840
Speaker 4: you know, help out the relationship. This guy's just kind

639
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 4: of letting this happen, not being confrontational, like hey, why

640
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 4: are you deleting that?

641
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 2: What are you kind of.

642
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 4: Deleting or being suspective in any way, you know.

643
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like at this point, Op is

644
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 1: just shooting himself in the foot.

645
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, He's like, yeah, I'm sure she's telling me the truth.

646
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 3: In her words, she didn't lie about doing substances. She

647
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:45,240
Speaker 3: evaded the truth.

648
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,640
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I.

649
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 3: Didn't get arrested because I ran away from the cops.

650
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 3: We had a conversation the day after she had done

651
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 3: them before I knew she was taking them. I said,

652
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 3: I would never do substances again. And I did them

653
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 3: when I was a teenager. It doesn't appeal to me.

654
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 3: And she said I would never do them either. She's

655
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 3: literally she's like, I never do them either.

656
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, while on substances just the.

657
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 3: Day before though, she was doing them. So her thought

658
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 3: on it is she didn't lie, as I didn't directly

659
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,480
Speaker 3: ask her if she had done them. She just evaded

660
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 3: the truth. But there is a little bit left to

661
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 3: this silly, silly story.

662
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 1: This is ridiculous. I mean, I I just I feel like,

663
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,600
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess he's gonna he's gonna get some

664
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 1: advice from the internet right now. But dude, break up,

665
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 1: break up, break up. There's there is nothing to be

666
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 1: done here except to break up. Move on, and you know,

667
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 1: move to greener pastures. Let's start lifting, go to the gym,

668
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:50,520
Speaker 1: get a hobby, Go surf, go surf, go surf. I

669
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 1: actually think surfing. Surfing is where I've had my best

670
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 1: luck with random, random flirtation, and so I feel like

671
00:32:58,480 --> 00:32:59,680
Speaker 1: you could you could meet someone new there.

672
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:04,040
Speaker 3: Not I don't like surfing rock wall Ah.

673
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 1: Rock wall where we work specifically for you, because there's

674
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 1: there's like so many there's so many boys at the wall.

675
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 3: Oh, how do I climb this wall? No? I know

676
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,640
Speaker 3: what I know how to climb the wall?

677
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 1: That's them.

678
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 3: That's true.

679
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, right now?

680
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 3: What flash it means? Like to do it immediately? It's weird.

681
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,800
Speaker 3: So my questions are, is it okay to not trust

682
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 3: my fiance? Is yay? Is it okay? Guys?

683
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 1: Please don't trust her?

684
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 3: I mean, is it normal for wanting her to come

685
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:44,440
Speaker 3: home after a night out, not wanting her to lie

686
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:46,959
Speaker 3: about where she's been and who she's been with? Lastly,

687
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 3: is it okay for feeling uncomfortable that she's constantly on

688
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:53,560
Speaker 3: her phone, texting, messaging twenty four seven and deleting all

689
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:55,680
Speaker 3: our messages? What should I do?

690
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:56,560
Speaker 2: Oh?

691
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:58,600
Speaker 1: Pe, oh pee, you know what to do?

692
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,440
Speaker 3: My brain is telling me to leave the relationship. So

693
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:07,200
Speaker 3: the lying, the deception, and the clear lack of respect

694
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:10,759
Speaker 3: for my feelings my heart telling made us stay with

695
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,359
Speaker 3: Art in all honesty. I love her. I love her

696
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 3: daughter too. I see her as my own daughter and

697
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:20,120
Speaker 3: protect her as if she was my own. Two. Any adviceance, guidance,

698
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,359
Speaker 3: anything at all, please help me.

699
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:26,839
Speaker 1: Break up, break up, break up, break break up?

700
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 3: Bright easy answer, break up, break up, breakup, She's lied

701
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,279
Speaker 3: to you. The thing is that, like sometimes we have

702
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 3: stories where someone's lying and the person's like, yeah, I

703
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:46,880
Speaker 3: didn't realize until later, you know, you know, so are

704
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 3: not going to use that information.

705
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 1: That's where that story ends. Let us know what you think.

706
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 1: Do you guys think? Do you guys think that he

707
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,239
Speaker 1: should break up with his partner? I certainly think so.

708
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:57,239
Speaker 3: Awkward turtle says, poor naive guy. Is this his first relationship?

709
00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:58,840
Speaker 3: I think this is his first day on earth.

710
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories.

711
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,960
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors. My childhood

712
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:08,719
Speaker 1: friend refused to forgive my wife for what she did?

713
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 3: What did she do?

714
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 1: My wife, thirty two female, and I thirty four male,

715
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,759
Speaker 1: have been married for six years, together for ten We

716
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:17,919
Speaker 1: have a four year old son. A few years ago,

717
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 1: my close childhood friend thirty four female, got married. We've

718
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:24,320
Speaker 1: been extremely close since we were kids. Both her families

719
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:26,840
Speaker 1: were dysfunctional in different ways, and at one point my

720
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:32,600
Speaker 1: dad She did on my mom with her mom and

721
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:38,440
Speaker 1: they got married, divorced a year later, and we basically

722
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 1: ended up being abandoned by both sides. Gee what a sentence.

723
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 3: Dang, see that's what that other guy thought was a

724
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 3: crazy story. Like this is the crazy story that that

725
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:48,240
Speaker 3: other Yeah.

726
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:51,080
Speaker 1: This is crazy. Through all that, me and my childhood

727
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 1: friend became close with each other. She even got two

728
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 1: tattoos that relate to our bond. I would have gotten

729
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:58,400
Speaker 1: a tattoo too, but I'm sort of scared of needles.

730
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,600
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Haunting Lime sixty eight

731
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,240
Speaker 1: thirty six. If you want to some of your own stories,

732
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:04,239
Speaker 1: go to the r slash Okay storytime stufbout it. So

733
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 1: my wife was actually close to my friend too, and

734
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 1: never showed signs of being insecure about our friendship until

735
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:18,320
Speaker 1: the postpartum hit. So this childhood like friend is a lady.

736
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:20,880
Speaker 3: And op is a man who has two tattoos, has

737
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 3: two tattoos the references their bond. It's a lot of

738
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:26,280
Speaker 3: reciprocated biop needles.

739
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 2: That's true.

740
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:30,279
Speaker 3: They don't even have matching tattoos. She just has two

741
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 3: tattoos for him for him.

742
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:34,439
Speaker 1: Is that too close? Chat? Is that too close?

743
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,360
Speaker 3: Friends who have matching tattoos?

744
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:39,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, but having a one sided tattoo for a friendship?

745
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 3: Is what was the tattoos?

746
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:43,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm curious, is it like, is it obviously about him?

747
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 1: After our son was born, she really struggled. Her emotions

748
00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 1: were all over the place, and she became extremely insecure

749
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 1: about my relationship with my friend. I was supposed to

750
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:56,919
Speaker 1: be man of honor at my friend's wedding, help plan

751
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:59,279
Speaker 1: things and be a big part of the ceremony, but

752
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 1: my wife was so anxious and uncomfortable. He begged me

753
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:05,279
Speaker 1: not to attend. It may be really sad, but I

754
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 1: chose my wife. I told my friend I couldn't go

755
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 1: and told her why that's.

756
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:15,840
Speaker 3: Okay, That's really not fair that your wife puts you

757
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 3: in that situation.

758
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:19,760
Speaker 1: It is it? So I think I think it's good.

759
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:22,480
Speaker 3: I think it I understand why. Oh he ends up

760
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:24,360
Speaker 3: like ended up choosing this wife.

761
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:28,479
Speaker 1: I understand that. I think. I think it's not good

762
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:29,840
Speaker 1: that your wife puts you in that situation.

763
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:30,600
Speaker 3: Yeah.

764
00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 1: Also, I don't think it's good that you said the

765
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:37,240
Speaker 1: reason that you couldn't go was your wife to your friend.

766
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:38,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

767
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 1: I think both of those are not great. Yeah, not great. Mmm,

768
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:47,800
Speaker 1: oh man, oh man.

769
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:48,759
Speaker 3: This is good.

770
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,400
Speaker 1: This is not good. So she was really hurt by it,

771
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 1: not angry, just really sad, but said she understood. A

772
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,880
Speaker 1: couple months later, my wife fully recovered and apologized to

773
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:00,600
Speaker 1: both me and my friend, which is great, that's good.

774
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 3: Has the wedding already passed?

775
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 1: I forgave her? My friend, however, didn't. When my wife

776
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,759
Speaker 1: reached out to my friend to apologize, my friend was

777
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:12,360
Speaker 1: polite but direct. She said she never wanted to speak

778
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:15,880
Speaker 1: to her again. Didn't y'ell or make a scene, just

779
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 1: drew a boundary.

780
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 3: I think that's fair.

781
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 1: I think that's fair.

782
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:22,439
Speaker 3: I think she it seems like the friend never did

783
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:29,000
Speaker 3: anything to incite like suspicion, never seemingly made Op's wife.

784
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:31,040
Speaker 1: And like her purpose and her best friend in the

785
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:32,799
Speaker 1: whole world that she has two tattoos of.

786
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,240
Speaker 3: But my question is, so did the wedding already happen?

787
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 1: I think the wedding already happened.

788
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,319
Speaker 3: See, I would never forget. I would be like, you're

789
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 3: coming to me now after the wedding already happened, and

790
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:43,280
Speaker 3: my best friend didn't get to be my man of honor,

791
00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 3: like not just.

792
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:48,360
Speaker 1: Like almost I was banned going to your wedding.

793
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,360
Speaker 3: I would never forgive that person. Yeah, I'd be like,

794
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 3: that's the most important person, Like, what are you talking about?

795
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:57,319
Speaker 3: You think I can just forgive you just because you

796
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:57,800
Speaker 3: came around.

797
00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:02,520
Speaker 1: I understand that, but I feel like if Op didn't

798
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 1: say that that was the reason, and maybe I don't know,

799
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 1: gave a different reason, maybe the relationship could have been salvaged.

800
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:11,520
Speaker 1: And so I think that was a big beaux pas

801
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 1: on Opee's party. Honestly, I get it. It was once

802
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 1: in a lifetime day and she leaned on me for

803
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 1: years and I bailed. I still feel guilty about it.

804
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:23,440
Speaker 1: My friend and I still talk regularly. Nothing inappropriate, were

805
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 1: just close to always have been. And recently my wife

806
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 1: asked if there was any chance my friend would forgive her.

807
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:33,120
Speaker 1: I told her the truth, No, that ship had sailed.

808
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 1: My wife got sort of quiet and looked sad and

809
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 1: hasn't brought it up again. But I wonder if I

810
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 1: was too blunt. Am I the a hole for not

811
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:44,360
Speaker 1: giving my hope and just telling her forgiveness probably isn't happening.

812
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:48,600
Speaker 1: There are some comments and there's a lot more to

813
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:53,439
Speaker 1: this story, but I think op is the a hole

814
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:57,240
Speaker 1: for telling his friend that the reason that he couldn't

815
00:39:57,239 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 1: go was his wife was jealous? Like you never like yeah, you're.

816
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 3: Never like oh yeah, my friend's hungry. You know when

817
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:05,880
Speaker 3: your parents ask.

818
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 1: You like, oh yeah, exactly like oh.

819
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,279
Speaker 3: They're hungry, they said they're hungry. When you're actually ungry,

820
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:11,840
Speaker 3: you take it, you take the breast.

821
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:15,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, Or like if your partner is if you're uncomfortable

822
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 1: with a relationship that your partner has and your partner's like, hey,

823
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 1: I can't hang out with you anymore. My partner's uncomfortable,

824
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 1: it makes the partner like look insecure and bad and

825
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 1: that friend's eyes and I think it's like I think

826
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:30,759
Speaker 1: it also shows like, oh I don't want to end

827
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 1: this relationship, it's my partner making me do it, which

828
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:35,680
Speaker 1: also doesn't show united front.

829
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like, oh wow, that's crazy. May you with

830
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:40,719
Speaker 3: this person who makes all your decisions for you? Yeah?

831
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,800
Speaker 3: And then the second so that happened, that happened, I agree.

832
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:45,680
Speaker 1: With and really good. Gavin Monroe said I'm not lying

833
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 1: to my friend. Hot take here. I agree that, like,

834
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 1: you know, the you know about not lying your friend,

835
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:57,759
Speaker 1: But Kim Roberts as a reminder sounds like oh pe wait,

836
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:01,879
Speaker 1: wait where did it say sounds like oh sorry, Lady

837
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:03,839
Speaker 1: Morgan says he shouldn't have told a friend that wife

838
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,359
Speaker 1: probably had PbD. No, she did have people, she did

839
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 1: have PPD. Know that part of depression and that was

840
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 1: what making it was making her feel insecure. And I

841
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:16,279
Speaker 1: feel like the like, I feel like Op totally threw

842
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:18,920
Speaker 1: his wife under the bus to the friend. It's just

843
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,839
Speaker 1: kind of kind of like like she was insecure, but yeah,

844
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:25,359
Speaker 1: she had postpartum impression, like give her a little bit

845
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:26,280
Speaker 1: of slack. Yeah.

846
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 3: I think that's the first point and the second point

847
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 3: is I agree that Op should tell the truth to

848
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:35,480
Speaker 3: his wife. I think that the wife needs to know. Yeah,

849
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:38,120
Speaker 3: she made that decision she or she had that reaction

850
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 3: because she has PPD, or she had PPD she didn't.

851
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,360
Speaker 1: Want him to be my friend needs to know.

852
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:45,840
Speaker 3: No, I think the wife I'm saying that was I

853
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:47,560
Speaker 3: agree with your first point, and now I'm looking at

854
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:50,960
Speaker 3: the second point of should Ope have said there's no

855
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:53,319
Speaker 3: hope for you to be Oh, I'm talking about that.

856
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:57,359
Speaker 3: I think she needed to know the truth because there

857
00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,200
Speaker 3: are consequences. Yeah, there's an explain.

858
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 1: Why you have PPD doesn't excuse.

859
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:06,320
Speaker 3: The behavior there are there are consequences to any behavior,

860
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:09,240
Speaker 3: even if there are explanations for that behavior.

861
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do think I wonder if OP mentioned that

862
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 1: she had PPD.

863
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 3: I think he could, you know, I think I think

864
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 3: you could still attempt to help them reconcile. It sounds

865
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:23,279
Speaker 3: like like but I think right now you have to

866
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:25,799
Speaker 3: tell your wife the truth because it maybe but she

867
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:28,799
Speaker 3: made a choice, you know why she did it, but

868
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:31,320
Speaker 3: still is going to affect this relationship.

869
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:32,960
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I'd love to know what you guys think.

870
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:34,760
Speaker 1: Let us know if you disagree with us in the comments,

871
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 1: but we do have some comments on this, so it's

872
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:41,799
Speaker 1: purple says, asking out of genuine curiosity. How is this

873
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:44,359
Speaker 1: going to work? Is your bestie get to skip all

874
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:47,239
Speaker 1: your life milestones and celebrations on your end or is

875
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:49,479
Speaker 1: it expected that she will be there and your wife

876
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:52,319
Speaker 1: is uncomfortable? Is it safe to assume your bestie isn't

877
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:54,880
Speaker 1: involved in your child's life. I'm just trying to fully

878
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:58,640
Speaker 1: understand the situation, and Bdan says a great point, Infoop,

879
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 1: we need to know what your expectations are and how

880
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 1: you intend to manage this friendship going forward. And one

881
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 1: who Henpeck's giant says, I have a feeling he'll be

882
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,280
Speaker 1: there for the friend and leave the wife at home.

883
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:11,040
Speaker 1: Ivy that is poison, says, to be honest, I think

884
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:13,920
Speaker 1: this is your fault. Sometimes friends can't make it to weddings,

885
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 1: no matter how close. But you definitely showed that this

886
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:19,000
Speaker 1: was your wife's faults, is what you said, and not

887
00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 1: your family decision to support your wife during a hard time.

888
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 1: Your friend didn't need to know that your wife was

889
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:26,680
Speaker 1: feeling jealous and secure, and that's the reason you couldn't go.

890
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:28,719
Speaker 1: The reason you couldn't go was that you had to

891
00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 1: be there for your family. To be honest, you painted

892
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,920
Speaker 1: your wife as the bad guy. You and your wife

893
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:34,839
Speaker 1: did to figure it out how to have you go,

894
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 1: whether it be a friend stay with her, or you

895
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:40,600
Speaker 1: take pictures or whatever as a compromise. But your friend

896
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:43,120
Speaker 1: shouldn't have been aware this was your wife's fault. But

897
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 1: you didn't seem afraid to throw your wife under the bus.

898
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:47,840
Speaker 1: But you chose your wife on the wedding day. This

899
00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 1: tells me you weren't a good partner. Sure, you didn't

900
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 1: go to appease your wife, but communicating that to your

901
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 1: friend isn't being a good husband. Being a grown up

902
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:58,040
Speaker 1: means making hard decisions, not just choosing your wife and

903
00:43:58,040 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 1: painting her as a bad guy when things don't go

904
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:02,840
Speaker 1: your way. Not the a hole for what you're asking for.

905
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,200
Speaker 1: You're not a supportive partner or friend. Being a good

906
00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:08,160
Speaker 1: friend would have been showing her how important family is.

907
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 1: Her wedding, her new family is just as important as yours.

908
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 1: A good friend would understand that and forgive. But because

909
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:15,799
Speaker 1: you painted your wife as a bad guy, now your

910
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:19,200
Speaker 1: friend does too. This is on you. Your wife even

911
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:21,879
Speaker 1: apologized because she knew in hindsight she was wrong. Your

912
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:24,360
Speaker 1: wife is more an adult than you and your friend.

913
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:27,719
Speaker 1: And logical customer seventeen eighty six says exactly, this is

914
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 1: why I vote you're the a hole. He let his

915
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:32,440
Speaker 1: wife take the fall, while also claiming that he chose her.

916
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:35,279
Speaker 1: He begrudgingly stayed home with her because she pleaded enough.

917
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:38,360
Speaker 1: If he had been taking her PPD seriously and acknowledging

918
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:40,800
Speaker 1: it as a medical condition that it is, he wouldn't

919
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:44,040
Speaker 1: have ever let the friend blame her. Sorry, my wife

920
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,160
Speaker 1: won't let me come to the wedding because she is

921
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:49,480
Speaker 1: recovering from a heart attack. What a witch right doesn't

922
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:51,919
Speaker 1: have quite the same ring to it. It always should

923
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:54,000
Speaker 1: have been addressed as him making the choice. I'm so sorry,

924
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:55,840
Speaker 1: my wife is having medical issues since the birth of

925
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 1: her child and just cannot leave them at the time.

926
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:00,920
Speaker 1: I really hope you understand, and then a big fat

927
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 1: wedding gift slash chunk of cash as a gift to

928
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:05,600
Speaker 1: move on. If friend is a real friend, they would

929
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:07,920
Speaker 1: never presume to believe their wedding was more important than

930
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:10,480
Speaker 1: the medical needs of your family. Source me. I've been

931
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:13,120
Speaker 1: a bride and a mom and have had PPD. I

932
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,320
Speaker 1: know I'd been nothing but understanding as a bride in

933
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,400
Speaker 1: the scenario above, if the party member framed it as

934
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:21,200
Speaker 1: it should have been framed, judge and mainly you're the

935
00:45:21,239 --> 00:45:22,880
Speaker 1: a hole and there is an updates, I.

936
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:25,160
Speaker 3: Think yeah, I think I fully agree with those both

937
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:28,319
Speaker 3: points that we made. Yeah, I think it's yeah. One

938
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 3: shouldn't have said it was her fault and two you

939
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:35,359
Speaker 3: know she does have to unfortunately now live with your

940
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 3: decision too.

941
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:39,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, brame it is. Nina Neilson says OPI could have said, hey,

942
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:41,400
Speaker 1: best friend, my wife is sick and needs my help

943
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:44,319
Speaker 1: if I can help without leaving her side. I will,

944
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:46,160
Speaker 1: but I, uh, but I can't have such a big

945
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:46,719
Speaker 1: part in your life.

946
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, it could have been like, hey, I'll be at

947
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:50,200
Speaker 3: the wedding if she didn't, if your wife was okay

948
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:54,799
Speaker 3: with that, but can't be best man, you know, or

949
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:55,800
Speaker 3: a man of honor.

950
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:58,479
Speaker 1: We have an update, so let's get into it. Hey

951
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:00,359
Speaker 1: it's Sam. We're we get back to the store. But

952
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 1: here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. Five days later. Well,

953
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:10,160
Speaker 1: I didn't expect the sheer gravity of responses I got.

954
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 1: Reading through everyone's perspective really opened my eyes. A lot

955
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 1: of you reminded me that my wife went through a

956
00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:19,440
Speaker 1: really tough mental condition postpartum, and regardless of how much

957
00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 1: it hurt my friend, my wife doesn't deserve to be

958
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:24,600
Speaker 1: punished for it. So a couple of days ago, I

959
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:28,000
Speaker 1: had a long honest talk with my friend. I told

960
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:30,839
Speaker 1: her that my wife and I are a package deal.

961
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 1: And while I understood why she was so hurt and disappointed,

962
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 1: my wife had already repented and apologized enough. I told

963
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:40,720
Speaker 1: her that if she truly valued our friendship, she needed

964
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:42,560
Speaker 1: to hash it out with my wife so we could

965
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 1: all move forward. It was a really emotional conversation. My

966
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:47,640
Speaker 1: friend was very sad at first, and we talked a

967
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 1: lot about the past and how things had changed. Eventually,

968
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:53,720
Speaker 1: though he agreed. Later that day, she called my wife,

969
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:57,359
Speaker 1: apologized for holding the grudge and accepted my wife's apology too.

970
00:46:57,560 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, some of you just teeted the dabagarvers. I thought

971
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 3: he had already had a conversation.

972
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, that sounds like he had a conversation with the

973
00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:04,800
Speaker 1: whole internet first, so it was like, oh, maybe should

974
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:05,279
Speaker 1: talk to these people.

975
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:06,919
Speaker 3: I was like, wait a minute, I need to talk

976
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:07,560
Speaker 3: to her.

977
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:12,279
Speaker 1: My wife was honestly so relieved and happy. It felt

978
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 1: like a huge weight was lifted. There's another relevant update,

979
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:17,040
Speaker 1: and I'm going to go straight into it. During my

980
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 1: talk with my friend, she also said she really misses

981
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 1: hanging out like we did before all this marriage drama.

982
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 1: She said she would accept the apology, but she just

983
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 1: wants to spend more one on one time with me again.

984
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:32,320
Speaker 1: I accepted that and told her I appreciate her honesty

985
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:36,200
Speaker 1: and assured her that I still value our friendship deeply.

986
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:39,400
Speaker 1: She seemed really happy about it. So, yeah, that's probably

987
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:42,040
Speaker 1: my final update. My wife is happy my friend has

988
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:43,839
Speaker 1: let go of the resentment and I feel like I

989
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:46,399
Speaker 1: finally did right by both of them. Thank you all

990
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 1: for your advice. It really helped me see what I

991
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 1: needed to do. We got some final comments. Ark Fireheart says, Okay,

992
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:56,600
Speaker 1: so from the previous point and post, it sounds like

993
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,319
Speaker 1: your wife was going through postpartum dealing with a lot

994
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:00,960
Speaker 1: of insecurity and mental illness when she needed you at

995
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:03,239
Speaker 1: her side. Meanwhile, there's this other woman that is not

996
00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 1: your wife, that has tattoos related to your bond, that

997
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:08,640
Speaker 1: is very close to you. It's kind of impossible for

998
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:10,279
Speaker 1: her not to feel some type of way about it

999
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:12,960
Speaker 1: deep down. Regardless of all that your wife was going

1000
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:16,359
Speaker 1: through some really horrible times birthing your kid. Are men

1001
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:19,560
Speaker 1: this incapable of realizing the whole childbirth takes on a

1002
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 1: woman's body. Because in the first post, you literally sounded

1003
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:25,120
Speaker 1: like you blame your wife as well and resented her

1004
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:27,719
Speaker 1: for needing to do your job as her partner. Still

1005
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:29,680
Speaker 1: if she apologized to you and your friend, but your

1006
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,959
Speaker 1: friends still held a grudge unnecessarily, might I add, because

1007
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:34,440
Speaker 1: when it came to your wife and none of it

1008
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:36,879
Speaker 1: was done maliciously, you had to basically give your friend

1009
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 1: an ultimatum in order to accept your wife's apology. You

1010
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:42,879
Speaker 1: do realize he wasn't going to take that apology if

1011
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:45,520
Speaker 1: you didn't phrase it to her that she would lose you, right,

1012
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 1: And it's proven when after all this, he still requested

1013
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:51,920
Speaker 1: to have one on one time with you. Sir, you

1014
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:55,080
Speaker 1: are a husband and a father, Like, are we reading

1015
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:58,120
Speaker 1: the same thing? Where is the emotional maturity everyone's talking

1016
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 1: about with you? It literally took a ready to push

1017
00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 1: you to use your brain to realize, as a married

1018
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:04,680
Speaker 1: man and a father, you should put your wife and

1019
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 1: kid first. Your wife deserves better, because what the heck

1020
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:12,160
Speaker 1: is this? Just now there's another comment? But what do

1021
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 1: we think about this? Like do we feel like, oh, p.

1022
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:20,160
Speaker 3: I think he has effectively handled the situation.

1023
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:23,800
Speaker 1: Now, Yeah, I don't know if I agree with the harshness.

1024
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:27,040
Speaker 3: I think also he was really pointing are this comment

1025
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:30,360
Speaker 3: was pointing out? Like, oh, well, your friend wouldn't have

1026
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 3: wouldn't have accepted if you hadn't made an ultimatum. It's like, okay,

1027
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 3: well the friend, the friend doesn't have a relationship with

1028
00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:39,919
Speaker 3: his opie's wife, Yeah, doesn't really care if she has

1029
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:42,279
Speaker 3: to be friends with her Opie's wife. She's doing it

1030
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:45,200
Speaker 3: because she's friends with OPI and I think that's reasonable.

1031
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:47,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I and I also think like it is

1032
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:51,120
Speaker 1: reasonable as a friend to want one on one time

1033
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:51,720
Speaker 1: with that friend.

1034
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 3: Yes, I don't think like it's suspicious just because she's

1035
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:54,879
Speaker 3: a woman, he's.

1036
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:58,280
Speaker 1: A guy, and they're they're childhood friends. Yeah, they're childhood friends.

1037
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:01,080
Speaker 3: Like it is a different type of hang out when

1038
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:05,239
Speaker 3: you have to hang out with two partners versus like

1039
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 3: one on one with your friends, you know.

1040
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:10,760
Speaker 1: I mean, I do think the tattoos are a little weird.

1041
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:13,400
Speaker 1: That is, it is a little weird. I don't know

1042
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:17,920
Speaker 1: if it is a massive, you know, red flag, but

1043
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 1: it's just a little weird to me. But also I'm

1044
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,400
Speaker 1: someone who exists in this world now too tattoos. I

1045
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:25,480
Speaker 1: think actually all of us in this room don't have

1046
00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:29,799
Speaker 1: any tattoos, so we're not very educated on on on

1047
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:33,360
Speaker 1: this subject. For those tattoo baddies in the chat, let

1048
00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:38,520
Speaker 1: me know, tattoos if this tattoo to tattoos, tattoo tattooing tease.

1049
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 1: I feel like what I have seen is Op came

1050
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:47,960
Speaker 1: to Reddit with a problem and it seems like he

1051
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:51,200
Speaker 1: took the internet's advice to heart and rectified the situation.

1052
00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:52,879
Speaker 3: It seems like it's fixed.

1053
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:55,320
Speaker 1: He was I think he was a piece of poop earlier,

1054
00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 1: and I think so was the friend. But like I

1055
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 1: think also somewhat justified. And uh, I agree, and yeah

1056
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:07,120
Speaker 1: I feel And yeah, weren't they step siblings? Yeah they

1057
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:07,760
Speaker 1: were step siblings.

1058
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:10,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I forgot about that they were step siblings even

1059
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:11,560
Speaker 3: yeah step bro.

1060
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, And Sleeping Need says he married his wife, not

1061
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:19,359
Speaker 1: his friend. I agree, But I I really think like

1062
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:23,480
Speaker 1: Op has grown in this whole thing. So, but I

1063
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:25,320
Speaker 1: would love to hear like what you guys think of

1064
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:29,319
Speaker 1: this as a uh a relationship that you believe that

1065
00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:33,400
Speaker 1: is inappropriate. But we got a little bit more so

1066
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 1: good Queen fluffin Chop says, these two are just very

1067
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:39,480
Speaker 1: codependent people who are refusing to grow up and realize

1068
00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:42,400
Speaker 1: they now have responsibilities outside of each other that come first.

1069
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:44,840
Speaker 1: For Ope, it's his wife and child. For the friend

1070
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:48,200
Speaker 1: it's her and her own husband. They need therapy yesterday

1071
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:50,400
Speaker 1: to actually be able to have a normal relationship. But

1072
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:53,879
Speaker 1: that's the thing codependent people do. They just don't want

1073
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,440
Speaker 1: I don't agree with that. And short Classroom twenty five

1074
00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:58,520
Speaker 1: fifty nine. I honestly have no idea why they even

1075
00:51:58,560 --> 00:52:01,239
Speaker 1: married other people at this level of codependency is out

1076
00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:03,879
Speaker 1: there and here just to argue and says taking bits

1077
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:05,880
Speaker 1: now he leaves wife or friend in less than a year,

1078
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:09,960
Speaker 1: and dainty Brush says they're already having.

1079
00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:12,759
Speaker 3: A I completely disagree with those comments. Those comments have

1080
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:15,799
Speaker 3: never had like a guy girlfriend, They've never seen a

1081
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:18,520
Speaker 3: guy girl friendship. They've never had one, and they don't

1082
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:19,360
Speaker 3: think it's possible.

1083
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:20,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sorry.

1084
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:25,200
Speaker 3: These are childhood best child codependent. They just care about

1085
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:30,239
Speaker 3: their friendship. That's crazy. Opie literally chose. I mean he

1086
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:32,399
Speaker 3: didn't do it right, but he chose his wife over

1087
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:32,920
Speaker 3: his friend.

1088
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 1: I also think this goes over a related issue where

1089
00:52:36,719 --> 00:52:39,000
Speaker 1: people believe that when you have a partner or a

1090
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:41,960
Speaker 1: wife or your friend, you're like, yeah, you need to

1091
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:45,120
Speaker 1: be completely devoted to that, like that your family unit,

1092
00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:48,279
Speaker 1: and yes, you do have responsibilities to your unit. I

1093
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:52,480
Speaker 1: I completely agree with that. But to cut off the

1094
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:55,880
Speaker 1: rest of your friends, your family, to cut off your

1095
00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:59,600
Speaker 1: like like your your your your relationships is to make

1096
00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:03,480
Speaker 1: yourself an island. And then you're it's isolating your You're yes,

1097
00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:05,879
Speaker 1: you're isolating yourself and then you're worse at taking care

1098
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:07,720
Speaker 1: of your wife and your kids.

1099
00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:10,239
Speaker 3: It's what people more like when you get into a relationship,

1100
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:13,799
Speaker 3: just like without kids and you read what stories were

1101
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:16,280
Speaker 3: like that, but partner starts isolating you from your friends

1102
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:18,640
Speaker 3: and you're like, wow, that's such a red flag. Why

1103
00:53:18,680 --> 00:53:21,440
Speaker 3: is it any different when you have a wife kids?

1104
00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:23,880
Speaker 3: You know, like you shouldn't be isolated from your friends.

1105
00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 3: Obviously there are priorities now because you have kids and

1106
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:29,160
Speaker 3: when you're married.

1107
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:31,960
Speaker 1: But like having one on one time with someone is

1108
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:36,839
Speaker 1: is important, and also going to your best friend's wedding, Like.

1109
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:38,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is important.

1110
00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 1: I would understand why that would be really hard to

1111
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:43,879
Speaker 1: go through. And I don't think. I think OP did

1112
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:46,319
Speaker 1: a bad thing and didn't give the friend enough context

1113
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 1: yes about why he missed the wedding.

1114
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:49,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree.

1115
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:53,120
Speaker 1: So yeah, I think in general, uh, no person is

1116
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:56,640
Speaker 1: an island. No person should depend on their partner for everything.

1117
00:53:56,719 --> 00:54:00,319
Speaker 1: You should build relationships of multiple people. You should build

1118
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:02,320
Speaker 1: your tribe, and you can if.

1119
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:05,319
Speaker 3: You really want, you can integrate your partners into your

1120
00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:05,759
Speaker 3: friend group.

1121
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:06,320
Speaker 1: You should.

1122
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:09,560
Speaker 3: You should. I believe that I personally.

1123
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:12,120
Speaker 1: If you can't hang I like. I don't think this

1124
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:15,400
Speaker 1: is true universally, but at least for me, I need

1125
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:17,759
Speaker 1: I need it. My partner to be able to hang

1126
00:54:17,760 --> 00:54:18,319
Speaker 1: out with my friends.

1127
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:20,880
Speaker 3: My partner needs to be friends with my friends.

1128
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:23,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, because then then you have to choose between your

1129
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:23,759
Speaker 1: partner and your friends.

1130
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:25,799
Speaker 3: I want to just everyone hang out all the time,

1131
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:28,000
Speaker 3: and then sometimes I can hang out with individual people.

1132
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:31,000
Speaker 1: But that is where that episode ends.

1133
00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:31,600
Speaker 2: Yep.

1134
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:34,359
Speaker 1: So if you love us, make sure to subscribe We

1135
00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:36,759
Speaker 1: love you, and see it tomorrow.