Speaker 1: Congress shall make no law. YadA, YadA, YadA. It's one
Speaker 1: more thing.
Speaker 2: I'm strong and Joe just YadA, YadA YadA. James Madison,
Speaker 2: I'm talking about the.
Speaker 1: Fourteenth Amendment during the show, did you just YadA YadA YadA,
Speaker 1: the Bill of Rights. We're talking about the fourteenth Amendment
Speaker 1: and the question of birthright citizenship, which is a hot
Speaker 1: conversational topic these days and actually really interesting. And I
Speaker 1: mentioned that the fourteenth Amendment is actually five paragraphs long
Speaker 1: and it would take a long time to read to you.
Speaker 1: The first part is about all persons born or naturalized, YadA, YadA, YadA,
Speaker 1: the birthright thing. Second part is representatives shall be apportioned
Speaker 1: among the several states according to their respective numbers. Blah
Speaker 1: blah blah.
Speaker 2: The next it's about streaming contracts, which is really weird.
Speaker 1: Right exactly, Yep, you gotta be able to cancel them.
Speaker 1: Third one is about senators and congress people who or
Speaker 1: may not have been involved in an insurrection or rebellion.
Speaker 1: Remember that one came up, you know, after January sixth
Speaker 1: uh and a couple more paragraphs. Nobody knows, but I
Speaker 1: was looking at the amendments and it would appear that
Speaker 1: in a close race. The shortest amendment is the eighth Amendment.
Speaker 1: Excessive bails shall not be required, nor excessive finds imposed,
Speaker 1: nor cruel and unusual punishments.
Speaker 2: Inflicted cruel or unusual cruel end on us and unusual.
Speaker 1: Right, And you know my theory, then one of the
Speaker 1: cruel and unusual. Right. If it's merely cruel, but you
Speaker 1: do it a lot, that's fine. And if you know,
Speaker 1: a beating from a clown is certainly unusual, but it's
Speaker 1: no more cruel than any other sort of beating. Clown
Speaker 1: beatings would be approved in the court of Joe Getty's justice.
Speaker 2: So you're on somebody over with a car. People get
Speaker 2: hit by cars all the time. There's nothing unusual about that.
Speaker 1: Now, it's cruel, unspeakably cruel, but not unusual. I think
Speaker 1: we're missing a loophole here, folks. But I think everybody
Speaker 1: knows the Oh my god, I almost said one of
Speaker 1: the stupidest things things I've ever said. I think everybody
Speaker 1: knows what's in the Bill of Rights. No, obviously most
Speaker 1: people don't. You should, but you don't, which is why
Speaker 1: you end up quartering troops, You jackasses. Study history.
Speaker 2: I just learned the other day James Madison was really
Speaker 2: against the Bill of Rights, really thought it was a terrible,
Speaker 2: terrible idea. But then when the vault went against him,
Speaker 2: he like, we should do more often now decided Okay,
Speaker 2: well that's been decided. Now I'm going to argue what
Speaker 2: they ought to be because it's going to happen, even
Speaker 2: though I didn't want it to happen in the first place.
Speaker 1: And indeed he brought it to the floor of the
Speaker 1: House immediately as he said he would.
Speaker 2: The reason he didn't like the Bill Rights is he
Speaker 2: is afraid that now that makes it seem like outside
Speaker 2: of these ten things, everything else the government can do.
Speaker 2: That was his concern.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think history is proved that he was
Speaker 1: wrong as real statesman. And yeah, oh yeah, tiny, tiny lady.
Speaker 2: And I've never seen a smaller founding father.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, not a long hitter, James Madison. So everybody
Speaker 1: knows freedom of religion, press expression, the first right to
Speaker 1: bear arms, quartering of soldiers, that's the third.
Speaker 2: I don't have to work, so man, when I get home,
Speaker 2: I got some news for those guys.
Speaker 1: Get out of my house. Can I get my stuff
Speaker 1: at least, and I'll ship it to you. Search and seizure,
Speaker 1: trial and punishment, compensation for takings. That's the Fifth Amendment.
Speaker 1: Everybody knows the part about how you don't have to
Speaker 1: testify against yourself, but that's actually one of many things
Speaker 1: mentioned in the Fifth Amendment.
Speaker 2: I didn't know that I should read that over.
Speaker 1: I'd forgotten it. It's one of those things. I had
Speaker 1: to memorize it at one point. But here's the entirety
Speaker 1: of the Fifth Amendment. I thought this was interesting. No
Speaker 1: person shall be held to answer for a capital or
Speaker 1: otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of
Speaker 1: a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land
Speaker 1: or naval forces, or in the militia when in actual
Speaker 1: service in time of war public danger. Nor shall any
Speaker 1: person be subject, for the same offense to be twice
Speaker 1: put in jeopardy of life or limb double jeopardy straight
Speaker 1: out of the Fifth Amendment. Nor shall be compelled, in
Speaker 1: any criminal case, to be a witness against himself.
Speaker 2: That's the wheel of fortune. After the jeopardy portion. It's
Speaker 2: the wheel of fortune portion correct.
Speaker 1: Nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property without due
Speaker 1: process of law, that's where that very famous phrase let
Speaker 1: comes from due process. Nor shall private property be taken
Speaker 1: for public use without just compensation, which there's a lot
Speaker 1: to the fifth Amen, we aren't always good at where's
Speaker 1: the thing where you can't testify against your husband or
Speaker 1: wife or you don't have to?
Speaker 2: Is that in the Bill of right?
Speaker 1: No, somewhere, Yeah, that's just in case law. I don't.
Speaker 1: I wish I knew.
Speaker 2: But why can't you testify against your husband or wife?
Speaker 2: There are no other relationships like that you can justify?
Speaker 1: Oh you can't.
Speaker 2: You can, but just can't be required.
Speaker 1: But how come you in some situation but you can.
Speaker 2: Be required to testify against your kids or your kids
Speaker 2: against you, but not husband and wife.
Speaker 1: I was just talking to my law student daughter about
Speaker 1: this the other day, and I don't remember exactly.
Speaker 2: Because you and Judy's big Ponzi scheme and you're worried about.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I tell you what. The second the cops
Speaker 1: are here, I go states she was running it. She
Speaker 1: made me do it right under the bus and Jody, honey,
Speaker 1: I hope you're comfortable under there. Oh let's see. So
Speaker 1: I think the longest of the amendments I can find
Speaker 1: is uh is probably the twelfth about choosing the president
Speaker 1: vice president. They had to clarify how that was going
Speaker 1: to work. But man, they get long. The fourteenth is long,
Speaker 1: five paragraphs long. Liquor pastards, which boo what number is
Speaker 1: that you suck? That's the eighteenth And did you say
Speaker 1: it is longer?
Speaker 2: Is it short? No more booze? Parties jackasses? That's what
Speaker 2: that one's called.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's long and boring, just like a world
Speaker 1: without alcohol. Another are three shortish?
Speaker 2: And then how soon after that one is the one
Speaker 2: that says parties back on.
Speaker 1: The twenty first? God bless it. Actually the eighteenth was
Speaker 1: ratified in nineteen nineteen and it was repealed in nineteen
Speaker 1: thirty three.
Speaker 2: Wow, I always forget how long that period was.
Speaker 1: Of no favorite. Some of my favorite writings by H. L.
Speaker 1: Menken were written during Prohibition. What he would describe how
Speaker 1: congress people and senators Washington, DC, you could get a
Speaker 1: drink practically as easy as you can right now. It
Speaker 1: was everywhere because the senators were never going to hold
Speaker 1: themselves to this same standards. They were just doing it
Speaker 1: because it was politically popular. It was a popular movement
Speaker 1: among women when women first got the right to vote,
Speaker 1: because so many of their husbands would come home hammerre
Speaker 1: drunk and either be useless or violent, or or have
Speaker 1: spent all the money at the bar.
Speaker 2: Your people, Katie to go a wear our party.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because of what your people put us through every
Speaker 3: day by being drunk a holes.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, if your people weren't all day long, maybe
Speaker 1: I wouldn't need a drink.
Speaker 3: Well, if you would do some things around the house,
Speaker 3: maybe we wouldn't all the time.
Speaker 1: Oh my God, give me the bottle. Where's the bottle?
Speaker 2: I think that was the Lightning Boardwalk Empire. If you
Speaker 2: never watched that series with Steve Buscemi, really great portrayal
Speaker 2: of those years.
Speaker 1: Nineteenth Amendment women's suffrages I was ratified in nineteen twenty.
Speaker 2: Man need a due over on that one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So women's voting and prohibition came up at the
Speaker 1: same time, although admittedly liquor was abolished just before the
Speaker 1: year before women got the right to vote.
Speaker 3: One of my favorite places, near the Radio Ranch in
Speaker 3: San Francisco was an old prohibition bar, and the owner
Speaker 3: took us down into their their storage room one day,
Speaker 3: and all of the old tunnel doors were all welded
Speaker 3: shut because they used to move alcohol underneath San Francisco
Speaker 3: in this tunnel system.
Speaker 1: But it was really cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. One of my favorite liquor stores was named twenty
Speaker 1: second Amendment Laquers, which I always I'm sorry not to
Speaker 1: twenty thirty first Amendment. Yeah, yeah, twenty second is presidential
Speaker 1: term limits. That'd just be a weird name.
Speaker 2: Went to a barn term limits.
Speaker 1: Oh, by the way, ladies, keep in mind nineteenth Amendment.
Speaker 1: We gave you the right, we can take it away, and.
Speaker 2: Yes it's on a as a needed basis.
Speaker 1: Let's can anybody name the last amendment? I'll tell you
Speaker 1: that it's the twenty seventh. Does anybody remember what it is?
Speaker 3: Mm?
Speaker 2: Well, the last one is the twenty eighth, as declared
Speaker 2: by Joe Biden a week ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we could go to that. That's right. On Twitter,
Speaker 1: I wish i'd more carefully read article too about the presidency.
Speaker 1: Turns out it says let me flip to it the
Speaker 1: president shell at the time of his choosing enact new
Speaker 1: amendments to the Constitution. On Twitter, I don't want a
Speaker 1: senile nut job?
Speaker 2: What is number two seven?
Speaker 1: Limiting congressional pay increases ratified in nineteen ninety two. Essentially,
Speaker 1: you don't get a raise until another round of elections
Speaker 1: is held. You can vote one in, but you don't
Speaker 1: get it.
Speaker 2: You know, our friend Tim thinks there should be more
Speaker 2: amendments that we or have been. We've made it too difficult.
Speaker 2: It seem like it's acted like it's just too big
Speaker 2: a crazy a deal to ever talk about amendments.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would agree. I mean, you spend two hundred
Speaker 1: and fifty years doing something you ought to get better
Speaker 1: at it, figure out, oh we forgot this. I would
Speaker 1: like to see some stuff clarified, like the fourteenth Amendment
Speaker 1: that the birthright citizenship all I want is added on
Speaker 1: if the parents have legal status in the United States.
Speaker 1: You can't just sneak in.
Speaker 2: All I know. I'm glad you read that. When I
Speaker 2: get home, there are some soldiers sleeping soundly in my
Speaker 2: bed who are gonna You're not gonna be happy to
Speaker 2: hear what I now know.
Speaker 1: I will court you no longer.
Speaker 2: Jebediah, I declare on this twenty fourth day January twenty
Speaker 2: twenty five, that is it