1 00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:04,600 Speaker 1: Hey, lady, is doctor dom here. If you like this 2 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:07,240 Speaker 1: show and you want to make your own, let me 3 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:10,840 Speaker 1: tell you about the free platform Anchor. It's a creation 4 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: tool that allows you to record and edit your podcast 5 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:17,280 Speaker 1: right from your phone or computer. You can add songs 6 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 1: from Spotify and create any type of content that you 7 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 1: are looking for. Anchor will distribute it all for you 8 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 1: so it can be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more. 9 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 1: Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor dot 10 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 1: fm to get started. 11 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,040 Speaker 2: On this week's episode in her Space. 12 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 3: Hopefully you know part of the conversation that I had 13 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,200 Speaker 3: was then we need to go around this like this 14 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 3: can't be something that continues to be a barrier to 15 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:50,880 Speaker 3: us elevating ourselves because we can't have the conversation. Fine, 16 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 3: let's talk about this in a different way, because at 17 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,680 Speaker 3: the end of the day, we got work to do, 18 00:00:57,320 --> 00:01:00,560 Speaker 3: and we can't do that work. If we're ancient and 19 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:05,080 Speaker 3: worried and dealing with emotional pain and traumatized, we can't 20 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 3: do the work. We just can't. 21 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:11,199 Speaker 2: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration, 22 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:15,480 Speaker 2: or even a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments, 23 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,760 Speaker 2: or if you feel comforted throughout the episode, Lady, please 24 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,600 Speaker 2: leave us a review and tell us what we're doing 25 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 2: right so we can stay on track. Also, we release 26 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:26,520 Speaker 2: episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe on iTunes 27 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,400 Speaker 2: and visit Herspace podcast dot com and enter your email 28 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 2: address to get updates about our live events and all 29 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,759 Speaker 2: the new beginnings that we have for this year. 30 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:41,040 Speaker 1: Welcome to her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting women 31 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:46,319 Speaker 1: like you. We're your costs doctor Dominique Broussard, a college 32 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 1: professor and psychologist. 33 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:52,800 Speaker 2: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a 34 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:57,440 Speaker 2: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please 35 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 2: join us as we initiate a conversations on everything from 36 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 2: fibroids to fake friends and create a safe space where 37 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:15,320 Speaker 2: black women can just be Hey, lady, it's Terry here 38 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,160 Speaker 2: from the Herspace podcast and I have a question for you. 39 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 2: Do you want to start your own podcast? Have you 40 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,280 Speaker 2: been thinking to yourself? You know what, I want to 41 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,880 Speaker 2: start a podcast, but you just haven't taken the leap. 42 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:31,239 Speaker 2: If that's you, I got you. I'm hosting a free 43 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 2: podcasting masterclass where I'm going to teach you how to 44 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,240 Speaker 2: create your own podcast from start to finish. I'll teach 45 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 2: you how to format your show and pitch great guests. 46 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 2: I'll teach you how to stand out in the crowd 47 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 2: of nearly one million podcasts. But I'm also going to 48 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 2: teach you how to get your mind right. Okay, We're 49 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:50,560 Speaker 2: going to talk about how to overcome imposture syndrome and 50 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:54,920 Speaker 2: how to deal with fear on your podcasting journey. So 51 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:59,120 Speaker 2: even if you're not tech savvy, it's okay. This masterclass 52 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,960 Speaker 2: is just for you. So visit Terrylomax dot com and 53 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 2: click on the pink link in the middle of your 54 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 2: screen and register for my free podcasting masterclass. Again, that's 55 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:15,960 Speaker 2: Terrylomax dot com T E R R I l Omax 56 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 2: dot com. I hope to see you there. Doctor Rita 57 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,640 Speaker 2: Walker is a professor of psychology at the University of 58 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:27,920 Speaker 2: Houston and Fellow in the American Psychological Association. She is 59 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,920 Speaker 2: a researcher and licensed psychologist who has published more than 60 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 2: fifty scientific papers on African American adult mental health, suicide risk, 61 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:41,280 Speaker 2: and resilience over more than two decades. Doctor Walker recently 62 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:44,680 Speaker 2: made a guest appearance on b ET's Saving Ourselves COVID 63 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,600 Speaker 2: nineteen relief effort. Her work has been cited in The 64 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 2: Washington Post, Bally Times, Ebony Magazine, Online, CNN Health, and 65 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 2: The Houston Chronicle. Her book, The Unapologetic Guide to Black 66 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:01,520 Speaker 2: Mental Health explores a blos black mental health crisis and 67 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:05,360 Speaker 2: gives a comprehensive roadmap to getting the care that many 68 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:09,160 Speaker 2: deserve in an unequal system. Doctor Rita Walker, We're so 69 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 2: excited to have you on the Hearspace podcast and welcome. 70 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 3: Thank you so much. I'm so glad to be here. 71 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:18,240 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, So we are going to start off with 72 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:22,599 Speaker 1: our quote of the day, and our quote will probably 73 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:26,880 Speaker 1: sound very familiar to you, doctor Walker. You will have 74 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:31,560 Speaker 1: to continually evaluate whether what you are doing is working 75 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:35,120 Speaker 1: for you in life, or you will find yourself in 76 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 1: a rut that is hard to escape. I found that 77 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 1: quote on your Twitter page within the last few days, 78 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 1: so I know that it probably is really familiar to you, 79 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,920 Speaker 1: but it resonated with me so much in regards to 80 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 1: our topic for today. 81 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm glad to hear that because I just I 82 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 3: sometimes feel like I don't know, like I know what 83 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,800 Speaker 3: makes sense to me. But I don't don't always know 84 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 3: how it carries through, you know, over social media, so 85 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:07,159 Speaker 3: that I appreciate you sharing that it really resonated for you. 86 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:11,159 Speaker 1: So and I think part of why it resonated for 87 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:15,719 Speaker 1: me is because mental health isn't that's my background. But 88 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:20,640 Speaker 1: as I read over it, the thing that I think 89 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,360 Speaker 1: that really stuck with me is that, like, that's something 90 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,680 Speaker 1: that I that I tell people as well, maybe not 91 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:32,360 Speaker 1: using those exact words, but something along those lines that like, 92 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:36,960 Speaker 1: if you are at some point, if you are feeling distressed, 93 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 1: you have to make a decision. Is this something that 94 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 1: you're going to allow to continue or do you want 95 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,080 Speaker 1: to make a change. 96 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:51,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think you know, as psychologists, we learn 97 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 3: to evaluate, and that evaluation is one of the most 98 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 3: important things that we do. But I don't think that 99 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 3: the average everyday person thinks about like, Okay, let me 100 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,559 Speaker 3: just sit down and assess what is going on right here? 101 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:11,479 Speaker 3: Is it working? Is it not working? Now some people 102 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 3: can say like, yeah, it's not working, but I think 103 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,080 Speaker 3: you know a lot of people just we just keep 104 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,040 Speaker 3: doing what we've always done because it's what we've always done, 105 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 3: whether it's working or not. And so, yeah, I think 106 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:26,680 Speaker 3: because of that background, you know, we are inclined to 107 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 3: encourage people to be intentional, and that's one of the 108 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:32,120 Speaker 3: things that we don't do enough of, I think, is 109 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 3: to be intentional about our everyday decisions and our everyday action. 110 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 1: Yes, I totally agree with that, and that leads me 111 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 1: to one of our first questions, and it's how is 112 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 1: strength in the black community a double edged sword? 113 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 3: And I'm sure you know we've all heard reference to 114 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 3: just the strength of the community and the strong black 115 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:02,840 Speaker 3: woman and how meaningful that it is. And obviously it's 116 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:08,040 Speaker 3: important to have a mindset that one can be successful 117 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 3: no matter what. Like I don't care what they say, 118 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 3: I don't care what anybody says. I have to know 119 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 3: within myself that I have the ability to do whatever 120 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,920 Speaker 3: I need to do. Because obviously, if somebody is unsure 121 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 3: or uncertain of themselves, then they can't you know, deal 122 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 3: with everyday challenges, they can't carry out their goals in life, 123 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 3: they can't have success. At the same time, somewhere along 124 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,720 Speaker 3: the way, we got the idea in our minds that 125 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 3: if we ask for help, then that means we're weak. 126 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:43,520 Speaker 3: And so it's kind of like we have to be 127 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 3: strong no matter what. And then it goes back to 128 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 3: the self assessment and the self evaluation. Right, So if 129 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 3: I'm strong, but if it's not working, then guess what 130 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 3: I got to do something different. I might need some help. 131 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 3: But we don't do that because of the fear that 132 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 3: we'll be received as weak and it's unfortunately. 133 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 2: I think that's a really great point that you made, 134 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,520 Speaker 2: and thinking about the world that we're living in today, 135 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:10,480 Speaker 2: there are so many people that have much more time 136 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:13,440 Speaker 2: to themselves, right. Some people are isolated alone, some people 137 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 2: are just at home a lot more, and so they 138 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,880 Speaker 2: can't really lean into the typical things that they could 139 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,760 Speaker 2: use as a distraction from themselves. Right, So, how would 140 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,040 Speaker 2: you encourage folks to process any difficult emotions that come 141 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 2: up during this time, So, whether it's guilt or regret 142 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:32,079 Speaker 2: or even feeling as though they lack purpose, Like, what 143 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 2: should we do with those things when they come up 144 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 2: during this time? 145 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think one of the first things that people 146 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:42,360 Speaker 3: can do is to start to just document, just in general, 147 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:47,440 Speaker 3: just document this time, how people, how they've managed this time, 148 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,480 Speaker 3: how they have been stressed out by family, and not 149 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 3: just writing down say I'm stressed out, but write down 150 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 3: what is it about this situation is stressing me out 151 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:03,000 Speaker 3: the most? Because what happens is that we get in 152 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:08,880 Speaker 3: these internal dialogues in our head that persist and we 153 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:12,679 Speaker 3: refer to as you know, rumination, and we ruminate and 154 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,280 Speaker 3: we don't come up with any strategies to address the problem. 155 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,040 Speaker 3: So if we can first get the thoughts out of 156 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,560 Speaker 3: our head, write them down, they don't have to be 157 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 3: complete thoughts. A lot of people, you know, don't like 158 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 3: the idea of journaling, like what does that even mean? 159 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 3: But just write down words, you know, stressed out, furious 160 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,960 Speaker 3: and then later feeling the rest of the sentence, you know, 161 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 3: furious at who what did they do? And then come 162 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,960 Speaker 3: back and try and figure out, Okay, what can I 163 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 3: do about this situation? Do I need to have a 164 00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:50,160 Speaker 3: conversation with someone? Do I need to go sit in 165 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,280 Speaker 3: the car, you know for a little while, like what 166 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 3: do I need to do? And again it goes back 167 00:09:56,640 --> 00:10:00,640 Speaker 3: to the self assessment, the self evaluation. What's going on 168 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:03,800 Speaker 3: for me right now? What is in my control? Because 169 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,520 Speaker 3: a lot of what's going on right now is completely 170 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,839 Speaker 3: out of our control, but some things are. 171 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:11,400 Speaker 2: That's a really great point that is something we talk 172 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:14,360 Speaker 2: about a lot on the podcast is what can you control? Right, 173 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:15,640 Speaker 2: doctor don Yes. 174 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:19,800 Speaker 1: That is one of my favorite statements or questions is 175 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 1: what can you control? Yes? 176 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:23,600 Speaker 3: Yes, yes? 177 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,439 Speaker 4: And so what are. 178 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 1: Other tips that you would give to folks to like 179 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:36,960 Speaker 1: once they've gotten to this point where they are at 180 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:40,679 Speaker 1: answering what is within their control and they determine what 181 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:44,280 Speaker 1: can they do about their situation? Like, what are other 182 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 1: tips that you would offer in terms of what we 183 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,600 Speaker 1: need to be focusing on during this time? 184 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I think that can be That can 185 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:54,200 Speaker 3: be tricky because one of the things I do like 186 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 3: to tell people is we have to give ourselves a break. 187 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:01,680 Speaker 3: We have got to cut ourselves some slack. So for 188 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:06,560 Speaker 3: people who maybe are working from home and parenting from 189 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:11,560 Speaker 3: home and homeschooling all at the same time, like it's 190 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,000 Speaker 3: just too much. And I can say that from personal 191 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:18,560 Speaker 3: experience it is too Okay, it is too much. I 192 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 3: had to call somebody to help me not send an 193 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:24,160 Speaker 3: email to a teacher just Friday. So we have to 194 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,480 Speaker 3: be willing to give ourselves some slack. And I think 195 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:29,200 Speaker 3: I did see a post where somebody said they got 196 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 3: up and then they just didn't feel like being up 197 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 3: and they got back in the bed. Good. Good for you. 198 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:37,839 Speaker 3: So we have to listen to our bodies and do 199 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,040 Speaker 3: what makes sense. You know, if we got a call 200 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:43,080 Speaker 3: in sick, we're already at the house, great, just send 201 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:46,920 Speaker 3: the note be sick. But on the other hand, I 202 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:50,840 Speaker 3: do think that there is a way to get some 203 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 3: sense of accomplishment or achievement that doesn't have to be 204 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:59,839 Speaker 3: super complicated. And I talk about, you know, identifying a 205 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,319 Speaker 3: small project in the house, Like a lot of us 206 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:05,319 Speaker 3: have something that needs to be cleaned up or cleaned out, 207 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:11,720 Speaker 3: like some closet, some office, some space that we've been avoiding. 208 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:16,400 Speaker 3: And if we can find ways to create fifteen to 209 00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:19,760 Speaker 3: thirty minute steps of things we need to do. So 210 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,400 Speaker 3: if it's a closet, just go stand in front of 211 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,920 Speaker 3: the closet, don't even do anything, but just look at it. 212 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 3: Maybe write some notes like what's the first thing that 213 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,640 Speaker 3: I need to do with this closet, What's the first 214 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,720 Speaker 3: thing I need to do with whatever the task it is. 215 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:36,480 Speaker 3: Do I have an idea maybe for you know, I 216 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:39,360 Speaker 3: have a cousin who is making lip gloss now, you know, 217 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 3: did I tell myself I always wanted to make some 218 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,720 Speaker 3: lip gloss. What are the first steps to that, because 219 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,760 Speaker 3: that can get us out of kind of the you know, 220 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:51,000 Speaker 3: monotony of maybe being bored, maybe being frustrated. But it 221 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,640 Speaker 3: also gives us a sense of accomplishment, some sense of 222 00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 3: achievement that if we have accomplished something by the end 223 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:00,320 Speaker 3: of this thing, I think a lot of us will feel, 224 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,880 Speaker 3: you know, like, Okay, that was time well spent. I 225 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,360 Speaker 3: wasn't happy about it, but I at least got some 226 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,480 Speaker 3: things done, or one big thing done. 227 00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:11,280 Speaker 2: I love that you gave us an actionable example that 228 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 2: people can actually use, including myself, that we can use 229 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,400 Speaker 2: to feel that accomplishment. And I love that you talked 230 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:20,120 Speaker 2: about just giving yourself grace because this is a difficult time, 231 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,040 Speaker 2: you know. I think Dom and I had a conversation 232 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:23,920 Speaker 2: about this too, where it's like we have to still 233 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:26,400 Speaker 2: with ourselves and realize, like, this is a very tough 234 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,960 Speaker 2: time to be alive and to be you know, working 235 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:31,560 Speaker 2: and trying to raise children and just be here. You know, 236 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,120 Speaker 2: it's challenging for everyone. So I love the fact that 237 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,760 Speaker 2: you brought that up. Can you talk a little bit 238 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:40,960 Speaker 2: about some of the myths around mental health and mental 239 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 2: illness because I know that there are lots of myths. 240 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:46,240 Speaker 3: Well you know, I think we can start with the 241 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,560 Speaker 3: most important one, at least to me, and that I 242 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:53,440 Speaker 3: do address in the book, And that is just the 243 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 3: idea of mental filling a blank, whether it's mental illness, 244 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:02,040 Speaker 3: mental health, mental wealth being, because as soon as we 245 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,960 Speaker 3: hear the word mental, a lot of folks just check out. 246 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:07,280 Speaker 3: I had an uncle to tell me he started reading 247 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 3: the book and he was like, oh my goodness, I 248 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:14,440 Speaker 3: thought this was for certain people. And I didn't ask 249 00:14:14,559 --> 00:14:17,640 Speaker 3: what he meant because I kind of knew, right right, 250 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:21,640 Speaker 3: I know, I know what he meant. And I think 251 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:25,600 Speaker 3: that if we can get away from just that label. 252 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 3: And what I talk about is this notion of psychological fortitude, 253 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:34,840 Speaker 3: because at the end of the day, we need to 254 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 3: be able to use our minds, to use our brains 255 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:42,640 Speaker 3: to function at the highest capacity of our work in 256 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:46,960 Speaker 3: our families, trying to achieve our life purpose, trying to 257 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 3: figure out what to do with that closet, like, we 258 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:54,440 Speaker 3: need our minds. But unfortunately, you know, for us as 259 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,720 Speaker 3: black people, we have a lot of threats in our 260 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,880 Speaker 3: community that it makes it makes it hard for us 261 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,920 Speaker 3: to live our lives, you know, more or less being 262 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 3: able to do more advanced kinds of things, more or 263 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 3: less trying to live our purpose. But with psychological fortitude 264 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:12,800 Speaker 3: that speaks to the level of endurance that we have 265 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 3: to withstand those threats, and those threats will undermine our thinking, 266 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:24,160 Speaker 3: our feelings, our behavior, And when we lose our fortitude, 267 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,160 Speaker 3: then yeah, we can't expect for us to be able 268 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:30,120 Speaker 3: to function as our highest selves. And that's okay. Like, 269 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,160 Speaker 3: for whatever reason, somebody says mental and it just stirs 270 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:38,040 Speaker 3: up all kinds of mess. Fine, let's talk about psychological 271 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:42,080 Speaker 3: fortitude and our ability to be able to function as 272 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,880 Speaker 3: whole people on an everyday level, and the kinds of 273 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:49,080 Speaker 3: things that we need to do to keep our psychological 274 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:52,400 Speaker 3: fortitude at a high enough level in order to be 275 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:53,320 Speaker 3: happy and healthy. 276 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,640 Speaker 1: Yes, as I'm listening to that, I'm like, yes, yes, yes, 277 00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:01,600 Speaker 1: I need to get your book and read it from 278 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 1: front to back and pass it along to multiple other 279 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:11,920 Speaker 1: people who like to shy away from having that conversation. 280 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:17,120 Speaker 1: I totally understand what you're saying when you said that, 281 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:22,200 Speaker 1: people hear the word mental or sometimes and sometimes even 282 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:28,920 Speaker 1: if they hear behavioral health, anything that has to do 283 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:34,280 Speaker 1: with the mind. They will shut down or try to 284 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:37,760 Speaker 1: shut you down when you try to engage in conversation 285 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:38,360 Speaker 1: with them. 286 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:42,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's funny because the publisher asked me, you know, well, 287 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,520 Speaker 3: what is that about? And I don't know. It just 288 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:49,880 Speaker 3: it just is, it just is, And they really wanted 289 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:53,800 Speaker 3: me to unpack that, and I couldn't. And since I couldn't, 290 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,360 Speaker 3: you know, part of the conversation that I had was, 291 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 3: then we need to go around this like this can't 292 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:03,400 Speaker 3: be something that continues to be a barrier to us 293 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:08,280 Speaker 3: elevating ourselves because we can't have the conversation. Fine, let's 294 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:10,800 Speaker 3: talk about this in a different way, because at the 295 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:14,040 Speaker 3: end of the day, we got work to do, and 296 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:17,880 Speaker 3: we can't do that work if we're anxious and worried 297 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:21,800 Speaker 3: and dealing with emotional pain and traumatized. We can't do 298 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:23,440 Speaker 3: the work. We just can't. 299 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,240 Speaker 2: Wow, so deep, so deep, But it's so true and 300 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:27,879 Speaker 2: it makes a lot of sense. And I'd love to 301 00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:30,960 Speaker 2: talk a bit about, you know, how your thoughts on 302 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:34,640 Speaker 2: how the coronavirus has affected the black community and how 303 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,520 Speaker 2: we can use this time to address our mental health needs. 304 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:39,800 Speaker 2: So I know that we've seen a lot of you know, 305 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,960 Speaker 2: we've seen a lot of different news stories about how 306 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,159 Speaker 2: this is impacting the black community, and I know you 307 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,639 Speaker 2: talk a lot about inequality and discrimination and race. So 308 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 2: how does that all tie in together and what are 309 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 2: your thoughts on that. 310 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:54,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, as you all know, it's it's taken different forms. 311 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,280 Speaker 3: And one of the ways that it started up was 312 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:03,560 Speaker 3: some of those prestitious ideas that we can't get it, 313 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,080 Speaker 3: that it's caused by five g and I guess that 314 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,320 Speaker 3: meant we were supposed to ignore it. I didn't know 315 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:14,480 Speaker 3: what to make of those things. But most importantly, it 316 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 3: brought to everyone's attention the reality that many of us 317 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:25,520 Speaker 3: have known that we know that there are tremendous disparities 318 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:31,520 Speaker 3: in health problems and death related to serious health problems 319 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:35,840 Speaker 3: like diabetes and hypertension. Like we've known that for a 320 00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:39,760 Speaker 3: long time. So when those statistics actually started to come out, 321 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,400 Speaker 3: there are a group of us that talk regularly, we 322 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,880 Speaker 3: weren't surprised, Like it was kind of like, well, what 323 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:49,440 Speaker 3: would what would we expect? But I think it does 324 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:54,040 Speaker 3: give us as a community and opportunity to bring together 325 00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:57,320 Speaker 3: two groups of people. And so one of the groups 326 00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:01,600 Speaker 3: is the experts. We have experts in our community who 327 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:06,560 Speaker 3: are public health persons, who are psychological scientists, who are 328 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:12,879 Speaker 3: medical professionals, who have solutions, and that community needs to 329 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 3: connect with the community that has resources so that we 330 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:20,560 Speaker 3: can develop wider spread initiatives, because there are some initiatives, 331 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,040 Speaker 3: but they tend to be localized, so that we can 332 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 3: develop initiatives that make sense for us. I do think 333 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,199 Speaker 3: a lot of times, you know, there are things that 334 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,840 Speaker 3: happen that we're like, well, that doesn't have anything to 335 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:35,120 Speaker 3: do with me, because we just we just operate differently 336 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:39,560 Speaker 3: as a culture. So we need intervention for us. We 337 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:43,679 Speaker 3: can't continue to wait for the help that's just not coming. 338 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,439 Speaker 3: If it's not gotten here yet, it's not coming. So 339 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,800 Speaker 3: this is our opportunity while everybody's at the house, to 340 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,960 Speaker 3: come together and figure out how we're going to address 341 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,920 Speaker 3: health disparities from within our community. 342 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,399 Speaker 1: And I think, you know, I totally am with you 343 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,960 Speaker 1: on them, because yes, as I was reading the articles 344 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,120 Speaker 1: that were coming out, I was I was reading it 345 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:09,760 Speaker 1: from that same lens of Okay, so this is news 346 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:13,640 Speaker 1: to who because I was aware of this already, right 347 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:18,320 Speaker 1: and looking at the release date for your book and 348 00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:22,119 Speaker 1: as you're talking about like how do we connect resources? 349 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,720 Speaker 1: And I'm like, your book, the timing of your book 350 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:30,959 Speaker 1: is perfect, right because I think that all of the 351 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:36,760 Speaker 1: information that you're providing is information that we all need. 352 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 4: That the community at large. 353 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:43,919 Speaker 1: Needs to read the book during this time period and 354 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,840 Speaker 1: figure out, like what are our next steps? How can 355 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,639 Speaker 1: we unite as a community. 356 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:53,440 Speaker 3: We need a game plan, like we need to start 357 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,080 Speaker 3: so kind of like I was saying, you know, open 358 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,199 Speaker 3: up the closet. We've been standing there looking at this 359 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:02,200 Speaker 3: closet door for way too long. We know the close 360 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,880 Speaker 3: closet doors there, we know there's a mess behind it. 361 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,600 Speaker 3: So yeah, we need a game plan. We need an 362 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,840 Speaker 3: action plan because the help isn't coming and it's not 363 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,800 Speaker 3: sufficient for certain aspects of the community to say, well, 364 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,640 Speaker 3: well i'm fine, you know, and my people are fine, 365 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,920 Speaker 3: Like that's it's not okay anymore. 366 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:23,159 Speaker 2: It's just not And when I hear that, I'm with 367 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,840 Speaker 2: you both. I'm just like, we definitely need that, we 368 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,120 Speaker 2: need the community, We need to be supporting each other. 369 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,199 Speaker 2: I got my question, and we don't need to have 370 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:32,680 Speaker 2: an answer for this, but I do want to pose 371 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,159 Speaker 2: the question, do you know what that would even look like. 372 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,399 Speaker 2: I feel like there are so many instances in history 373 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,679 Speaker 2: even where black people did try to get on one 374 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,120 Speaker 2: accord and we did try to come together as a community, 375 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:46,520 Speaker 2: and we've been successful with different initiatives and different communal efforts. 376 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,240 Speaker 2: Sometimes we see that, you know, living in a system 377 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:54,040 Speaker 2: of white supremacy, our efforts are sabotaged. But I think 378 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,159 Speaker 2: in this world, with the digital age, I think that 379 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,960 Speaker 2: we can definitely do this. But do you even know 380 00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,720 Speaker 2: what it will look like. I'm just curious when I 381 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:00,600 Speaker 2: think that. 382 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:05,440 Speaker 3: I would have to think about that, but I'm willing 383 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:09,240 Speaker 3: to think out loud, and there would have to be 384 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:16,240 Speaker 3: some obviously nationwide coordination of point people across the country 385 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,919 Speaker 3: who are leading in their areas of expertise, because we 386 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,760 Speaker 3: do have a lot of people who try to lead 387 00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:28,080 Speaker 3: outside of their lane, yes, you know, but people in 388 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:32,200 Speaker 3: their lane, you know, who have expertise to communicate well 389 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:37,800 Speaker 3: because communication is critical, and who are open minded people, 390 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,600 Speaker 3: because you know, a lot of folks, because of their strength, 391 00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:44,560 Speaker 3: have a hard time maybe doing the problem solving part. 392 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:46,240 Speaker 3: Like I got the solution that I don't need to 393 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:50,040 Speaker 3: hear from anybody else. But you know, we have people 394 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,399 Speaker 3: who are willing to work together, who have trust in 395 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,960 Speaker 3: one another. And I know trust is another issue. You 396 00:22:56,000 --> 00:23:00,639 Speaker 3: know that we have inherited but who can have trust 397 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:05,280 Speaker 3: in one another? To marshal the experts to say, okay, 398 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:08,720 Speaker 3: what do we need because again this is the assessment part, right, 399 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:12,640 Speaker 3: what do we need? We need nationwide communication. We need 400 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:15,520 Speaker 3: people to have a place to go to to get tested, 401 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 3: to see, you know, not just who has diabetes, but 402 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:22,080 Speaker 3: who is pre diabetic. Like there is just so much 403 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:27,280 Speaker 3: information that is immersing these communities and so I'm going 404 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,159 Speaker 3: too far down that rabbit hole. But you know, getting 405 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:34,040 Speaker 3: those folks coordinated, who can assess what the problems are, 406 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,360 Speaker 3: finding the people who have plans in place. We can 407 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,440 Speaker 3: look at the initiatives that are working. I know there 408 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,320 Speaker 3: are folks in Detroit, you know, who are working in 409 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:47,760 Speaker 3: those communities in Michigan where COVID nineteen has disproportionately affected 410 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 3: those individuals. Find out if we can transfer maybe their 411 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:56,520 Speaker 3: solutions to wider spread communities in Michigan and maybe some 412 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,840 Speaker 3: of the communities in rural Georgia. But how does that work? 413 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,720 Speaker 3: So we need experts who understand rural health, like there 414 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:08,439 Speaker 3: is so many different levels to these problems that we 415 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,560 Speaker 3: first need to figure out what all the levels are, 416 00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:14,560 Speaker 3: identify who the experts are, who are humble people who 417 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,919 Speaker 3: can communicate, and then get the resources we need from 418 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,920 Speaker 3: the people who maybe aren't the experts but who have 419 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:24,400 Speaker 3: the resources to then bring it all together. And it's 420 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,639 Speaker 3: not going to happen overnight. You know. We do have 421 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:30,720 Speaker 3: to have some amount of patience. But we can do this. 422 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:35,680 Speaker 3: And you're right, it does get sabotage, and we can 423 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:37,720 Speaker 3: look back and say, Okay, how do we think that 424 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:42,879 Speaker 3: got sabotage? So we can avoid the sabotage and the detour. Well, 425 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:44,920 Speaker 3: we might have to do some detour, but we can 426 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 3: avoid theage. Like we have the brilliance in the community, 427 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,720 Speaker 3: and sometimes the brilliance gets lost because people are anxious 428 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:57,040 Speaker 3: and worried, you know, because people are afraid of what's 429 00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,080 Speaker 3: going to get hijacked, you know, because a lot of 430 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:02,399 Speaker 3: stuff just gets high jack. But you know, but we 431 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,120 Speaker 3: can do this. I am certain that we can do it. 432 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,399 Speaker 3: We just we just we just got to do it. 433 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:09,679 Speaker 4: I am with you on that. 434 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:13,720 Speaker 1: But I think too, when you say experts, I think 435 00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:18,240 Speaker 1: that what we have to do also is remind ourselves 436 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:23,719 Speaker 1: of how intelligent and resourceful we are, even if we 437 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:28,480 Speaker 1: don't have the degrees to back us up right, that 438 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:32,679 Speaker 1: there are so many of us within our community that 439 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:37,040 Speaker 1: are experts in like when you mentioned like rural Georgia, Like, 440 00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:40,160 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm sure that there are people out there 441 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:45,000 Speaker 1: working in rural Georgia who don't have the alphabet suit 442 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:49,120 Speaker 1: behind their name, but they know what they're doing in 443 00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,600 Speaker 1: their community and it's working. Yes, And so I think 444 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:59,560 Speaker 1: having that willingness to tap into our natural strengths of 445 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:03,560 Speaker 1: ideas to find that we don't have to fit the 446 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,840 Speaker 1: white paradigm of what an expert is. 447 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:11,159 Speaker 3: Yeah, and too often, and I think about this a 448 00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:14,440 Speaker 3: lot of times, like, too often we throw people under 449 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,720 Speaker 3: the bus because of who we think they are or 450 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,960 Speaker 3: who we think they're not, and also maybe because of 451 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:24,280 Speaker 3: like past issues. Well they did this over here, and 452 00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:28,760 Speaker 3: so we can't use their excellence in this way. And yeah, 453 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:32,320 Speaker 3: we have to be careful about that. I agree one 454 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:32,960 Speaker 3: hundred percent. 455 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:37,080 Speaker 2: And thinking about your book, Doctor Rita, The Unapologetic Guide 456 00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:40,359 Speaker 2: to to Black Mental Health, what inspired you to write 457 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:41,320 Speaker 2: your book. 458 00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:46,679 Speaker 3: Well, it was the suicide rate going up across several years. 459 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,560 Speaker 3: The first time I saw the statistic, I thought, okay, 460 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,920 Speaker 3: maybe that's just a blip on the screen. We get 461 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:54,960 Speaker 3: these data every two years, and so the second time 462 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,479 Speaker 3: that the data came up, I thought, okay, this, this 463 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,720 Speaker 3: might be here to stay. And I pay attention to 464 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:04,600 Speaker 3: that work because my expertise is in understanding suicide and 465 00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:08,639 Speaker 3: suicide risk, and so I thought, you know, probably not 466 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,520 Speaker 3: many people are paying any attention to this. And children, 467 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:15,960 Speaker 3: ages of black children ages five to eleven years have 468 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 3: the highest increasing suicide rate. And my assumption was that, yeah, 469 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,639 Speaker 3: very few people knew that, and I was one of 470 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,879 Speaker 3: the few people paying attention because I care about black suicide. 471 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:31,680 Speaker 3: So I realized, okay, somebody, hello, you know, I need 472 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,400 Speaker 3: to tell people hello, this is a problem. And then 473 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:37,119 Speaker 3: as I was writing the proposal, I realized, okay, I 474 00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:40,199 Speaker 3: have to talk about my theory because I've been working on, 475 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:42,600 Speaker 3: you know, my theory of black suicide for a couple 476 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:46,840 Speaker 3: of decades, which is related to the loss of identity. 477 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:49,159 Speaker 3: So one of the things I have found across my 478 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,639 Speaker 3: studies is that people who have a positive sense of 479 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:55,280 Speaker 3: what it means to be black, of what it means 480 00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:58,080 Speaker 3: to be of African ancestry, those folks are less likely 481 00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:01,840 Speaker 3: to seemingly even think about suicide. And so I saw 482 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:07,040 Speaker 3: positive cultural identity as protective. But I also know that 483 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:10,199 Speaker 3: with our younger generations, we see more and more people 484 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:13,080 Speaker 3: or children and youth adolescents who are like, I'm just 485 00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:21,160 Speaker 3: American and that's cute, but we need our culture and 486 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:22,800 Speaker 3: so I you know, so I said, I have to 487 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:24,720 Speaker 3: talk about that in the book, and then I realize, 488 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:28,480 Speaker 3: but this is connected to larger issues that we've been 489 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:34,879 Speaker 3: socialized that if we can be more like mainstream white 490 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:40,320 Speaker 3: European American or Eurocentric society, then we will be okay. 491 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:44,160 Speaker 3: And no, but I know that that didn't come you know, 492 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,920 Speaker 3: that didn't come out of nowhere. And then there's also racism. 493 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:48,600 Speaker 3: So yeah, so the book just kind of went in 494 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:53,240 Speaker 3: some different directions, but started with me really wanting and 495 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:56,840 Speaker 3: needing to bring attention to black suicide in our youth. 496 00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:00,520 Speaker 3: I'm not a child psychologist, and I really tell anyone 497 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:04,040 Speaker 3: that children are not my air of expertise. My focus 498 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:07,720 Speaker 3: is on adults. But my thinking is that if I 499 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:12,400 Speaker 3: can help adult, then adults can be responsible for our children. 500 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:17,240 Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, that is so heartbreaking, you said, five years 501 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,080 Speaker 2: old to eleven years old. I feel like my mind 502 00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:22,320 Speaker 2: is still trying to grasp that, and it's so heartbreaking 503 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,880 Speaker 2: that those little black I mean they're babies, you know, 504 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:28,080 Speaker 2: just little black children that just don't, you know, feel 505 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:31,680 Speaker 2: like they have hope. How can parents and caregivers, how 506 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,920 Speaker 2: can they support young children? I know you're not in it. 507 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,800 Speaker 2: You know you said you're not a child psychologist, but 508 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:38,880 Speaker 2: I'm just thinking about the suicide aspect and then the 509 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,959 Speaker 2: coping mechanisms that you typically offer. What can we do 510 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:45,240 Speaker 2: to see those signs in young children and support them? 511 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:45,960 Speaker 1: Well? 512 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,040 Speaker 3: I do think the thing that probably the easiest thing 513 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:54,360 Speaker 3: is if a child expresses thoughts of wanting to die 514 00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:58,160 Speaker 3: and saying I don't want to live anymore, that rather 515 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:02,040 Speaker 3: than being dismissive because is like you know, what's second 516 00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:04,440 Speaker 3: grader is like, oh yeah, you don't want to live anymore? 517 00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:06,840 Speaker 3: Like most parents are thinking, oh yeah, okay, sure you're 518 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:14,040 Speaker 3: being dramatic. No, don't dismiss that, like take time, follow up, 519 00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:18,520 Speaker 3: say it sounds like you're having a hard time today, 520 00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:23,680 Speaker 3: tell me what's going on, So open up the dialogue. 521 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,560 Speaker 3: Be willing to have a conversation. Maybe the child is older, 522 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,720 Speaker 3: maybe they're eleven years old, and they're like, I'm not 523 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:33,400 Speaker 3: I don't want to talk and say okay, that's fine, 524 00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:38,800 Speaker 3: I am here. The single most important dimension of suicide 525 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:45,959 Speaker 3: prevention is being available, but being non judgmentally available, And 526 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,920 Speaker 3: so there's no room, as you might imagine, for being 527 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:51,960 Speaker 3: dismissive in that. But there is another part. You know, 528 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,480 Speaker 3: when we attend to children, we do just have to 529 00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:57,240 Speaker 3: pay attention to any change in their behavior. So a 530 00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:00,600 Speaker 3: child who's usually happy, go lucky me is looking a 531 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:06,120 Speaker 3: little bit, you know, chronically upset or anxious, having sleep problems, Like, 532 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:10,040 Speaker 3: there's a change in behavior. So whenever there's a significant change, 533 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,560 Speaker 3: and I can say that that it's worth paying attention 534 00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,400 Speaker 3: to and finding out more about what could be going on. 535 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,200 Speaker 3: It could be a dietary change, but it also could 536 00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,200 Speaker 3: be maybe bullying at school. There could be something that's 537 00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:25,520 Speaker 3: affecting the child that's not just diet or poor sleep, 538 00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:27,360 Speaker 3: and it's worth investigating. 539 00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:29,120 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for sharing that. 540 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:35,600 Speaker 1: Yes, and those markers to pay attention to me are 541 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,760 Speaker 1: very similar to changes that we have to notice in 542 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:44,000 Speaker 1: ourselves as adults. Yes, and so as I was listening 543 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,840 Speaker 1: to you, one of the things that came to mind 544 00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:49,440 Speaker 1: for me is thinking about this current time period. And 545 00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:51,720 Speaker 1: I know we keep coming back to where we are 546 00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:56,800 Speaker 1: right now in this current time period, but as adults, 547 00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:00,320 Speaker 1: we are trying to make adjustments for ourselves, and so 548 00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:03,800 Speaker 1: I think that some of the things that you mentioned 549 00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:07,440 Speaker 1: are also good for us to look at in our 550 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:10,520 Speaker 1: children as well during this time. Are there any other 551 00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:15,840 Speaker 1: tips that you would offer for our children, particularly during 552 00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:16,360 Speaker 1: this time. 553 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,880 Speaker 3: Well, actually it goes back to adults, to be honest, 554 00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:25,680 Speaker 3: because it's hard for adults to do what I'm suggesting 555 00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:30,040 Speaker 3: when they are overwhelmed, you know. So an adult who 556 00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:32,880 Speaker 3: hears from a child, you know, I want to die 557 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:37,200 Speaker 3: or I don't want to live anymore, that adult may 558 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:40,840 Speaker 3: not have the wherewithal to be present and to be 559 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:45,360 Speaker 3: open if they are exhausted. And so adults need to 560 00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,560 Speaker 3: be able to take the time out. And I mentioned 561 00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:49,320 Speaker 3: going to the garage because I've sat in my own 562 00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:52,360 Speaker 3: car and turned on my own music in the garage 563 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:56,480 Speaker 3: in the car, okay, and I was happy, you know, 564 00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:59,720 Speaker 3: and I enjoyed myself for about two good songs, and 565 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:03,680 Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, now we can do the next thing. Great, 566 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:07,000 Speaker 3: And so we have to be able to reset. But 567 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:11,000 Speaker 3: sometimes you know, there are children who don't communicate as 568 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,520 Speaker 3: because children don't communicate the way that adults do, and 569 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,520 Speaker 3: so they can be invited. I mean about adults doing 570 00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:20,760 Speaker 3: some writing. A child can write, a child can draw, 571 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:25,120 Speaker 3: hopefully there's some crayons or markers or something they can draw, 572 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,160 Speaker 3: you know, to express themselves. And that's, like I said, 573 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,400 Speaker 3: even though I'm not a child psychologist, I do understand 574 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:33,000 Speaker 3: some of our principles in what we do to get 575 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:37,040 Speaker 3: children to communicate what's going on for them. And again 576 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:42,800 Speaker 3: just paying attention, just being attentive and being present and 577 00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:45,840 Speaker 3: cut the children some slack too, because they are missing 578 00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,960 Speaker 3: their friends, you know, and they're having to deal with 579 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,320 Speaker 3: a new teacher who is probably not trained as an educator. 580 00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:54,040 Speaker 3: The kids have a lot that they're managing. 581 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:58,640 Speaker 1: Also, yes, I completely agree I think that. You know, 582 00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:03,200 Speaker 1: I've heard young children say, oh I mommy, I. 583 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:04,280 Speaker 4: Need a mental health day. 584 00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:13,400 Speaker 1: M okay, So one kudos to you for communicating that, 585 00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:19,719 Speaker 1: for articulating what your needs are. And let's talk about 586 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:21,880 Speaker 1: why you need this mental health day, Like what is 587 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:24,000 Speaker 1: going on that you need a mental health day today? 588 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:29,440 Speaker 3: And what does that look like, because I know if 589 00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:32,279 Speaker 3: I heard any child say that, I would ask, now, 590 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:36,480 Speaker 3: tell me what does that look like for you? Because again, 591 00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,960 Speaker 3: that's more information, it's more insight to how they're thinking 592 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:40,840 Speaker 3: and how they're feeling. 593 00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:44,800 Speaker 2: It sounds like leaning into curiosity during this time, especially 594 00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:47,560 Speaker 2: when interacting with you know, whether it's your partner or 595 00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:50,000 Speaker 2: to adults or even your children. It sounds like that 596 00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,239 Speaker 2: would be really beneficial. And so I want to lean 597 00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:54,200 Speaker 2: into curiosity, and I want to ask, you know, what 598 00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:56,200 Speaker 2: about the book is unapologetic? 599 00:34:56,560 --> 00:35:01,719 Speaker 3: Well, it's unapologetic because it really is for us, and 600 00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:07,319 Speaker 3: you know, for anyone who has to navigate spaces that 601 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:13,200 Speaker 3: are primarily not us, We oftentimes do things differently to 602 00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:17,560 Speaker 3: be successful. That the way that we operate, maybe in 603 00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:23,040 Speaker 3: work settings or places where our colleagues are primarily white 604 00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:26,400 Speaker 3: European Americans. You know, we just have to navigate that 605 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:29,920 Speaker 3: space differently, and it looks different, you know, for different people. 606 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,600 Speaker 3: You know, some folks decide they're going to wear their 607 00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:36,360 Speaker 3: hair straight and there's no option to be natural. People 608 00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:40,440 Speaker 3: talk differently, you know, maybe they use different language so 609 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:44,319 Speaker 3: that they don't have to explain what they mean using 610 00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:48,880 Speaker 3: search and vernacular and so I wrote the book with 611 00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:54,640 Speaker 3: the intention of talking to the community and not having 612 00:35:54,680 --> 00:36:00,879 Speaker 3: to apologize for that. And I already a troll over 613 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:05,440 Speaker 3: the weekend that said, well, you could have written this 614 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:08,960 Speaker 3: book for anybody, and instead you wrote it for black people. 615 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:12,680 Speaker 3: Yeah wow, wow. 616 00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:16,120 Speaker 4: You know, the trolls are gonna come regardless, and. 617 00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:21,200 Speaker 1: I you know, and I think that goes back to 618 00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:25,360 Speaker 1: you being unapologetic, like that is why it's titled unapologetic. 619 00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:28,120 Speaker 4: It is, like you said, it is for us. 620 00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:32,759 Speaker 1: And sometimes everything doesn't have to be for everybody, and 621 00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:35,200 Speaker 1: that is Okay, can we take. 622 00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:37,400 Speaker 2: A quick little detour. We're gonna get into the next segment, 623 00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:39,720 Speaker 2: but I just have to say, they have everything else 624 00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:41,319 Speaker 2: we need stuff for us, you know what I mean. 625 00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:46,719 Speaker 2: When we're being coach cultural appropriation and racism and all 626 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,319 Speaker 2: kinds of things that we've been through, we need our 627 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:51,320 Speaker 2: own spaces. So come on now, you better go ahead. 628 00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:56,120 Speaker 2: So anyway, doctor Rita, we want to change up the 629 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:59,759 Speaker 2: energy of the interview and we want to invite you 630 00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:02,759 Speaker 2: to you are owe you clatchet segment. So we'll tell 631 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:04,600 Speaker 2: you a little bit about the segment and then we'll 632 00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:10,239 Speaker 2: dive on in. Okay, now, because we recognize, appreciate, and 633 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:13,560 Speaker 2: celebrate the multifaceted woman, and believe that it's okay to 634 00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:17,279 Speaker 2: be classy and ratchet. You can still be elegant and 635 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:20,439 Speaker 2: dance to strip club music. We want to invite you too, 636 00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:24,799 Speaker 2: the owe you clactic segment. Okay, so do you take 637 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:25,880 Speaker 2: on the challenge? 638 00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:28,799 Speaker 3: I accept the challenge. 639 00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:32,400 Speaker 2: Yay, all right, let's dive on then. 640 00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:37,520 Speaker 1: All right, so our first question, what is the most 641 00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:39,719 Speaker 1: spontaneous thing you've ever done? 642 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,839 Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, I also have a I cannot just 643 00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:46,480 Speaker 3: have a bad memory, and so sometimes I do stuff 644 00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:50,520 Speaker 3: and I'm like, okay, I gotta repress that because there's 645 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:56,759 Speaker 3: no telling. So most spontaneous I do remember a situation. 646 00:37:57,080 --> 00:38:01,160 Speaker 3: It was funny because my sister dares me to talk 647 00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:04,600 Speaker 3: to some guy at a club. And my sister's much 648 00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,920 Speaker 3: more conservative than I am, Like, she would never just 649 00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:10,200 Speaker 3: go talk to random person in a club. And I 650 00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:13,759 Speaker 3: don't know why she dared me, because I don't meet strangers, 651 00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:17,160 Speaker 3: and so I'll just go, you know, talk to anybody 652 00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:19,480 Speaker 3: for any reason, and I'll create a reason on my 653 00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:21,719 Speaker 3: way to go talk to them. So yeah, so I'm 654 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:24,919 Speaker 3: sure it was an occasion because it was intentional because 655 00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:26,920 Speaker 3: my sister dared me and I was like, okay, this 656 00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:29,880 Speaker 3: is easy. I could probably if I thought about it longer, 657 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,560 Speaker 3: could come up with some other things, but that one 658 00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:33,680 Speaker 3: comes to mind most readily. 659 00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:36,680 Speaker 2: That's funny. 660 00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:40,480 Speaker 1: I like how you said that you repress some of 661 00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:42,880 Speaker 1: those things, right. 662 00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:47,120 Speaker 3: Yes, like I can't. I just did that. But yeah, 663 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:50,760 Speaker 3: but I also, I mean, I think I get bored easily, 664 00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:53,799 Speaker 3: and so sometimes I have to mix things up just 665 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:54,880 Speaker 3: to amuse myself. 666 00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:58,920 Speaker 2: So yeah, I know that's right. And okay, this is 667 00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:00,719 Speaker 2: a random question. I just have to ask, doctor reader, 668 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:02,320 Speaker 2: what's your sign? Just curious? 669 00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:02,920 Speaker 3: Gemini? 670 00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:07,239 Speaker 2: Gemini? Okay, okay, God Gemini in the house. All right, 671 00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:10,000 Speaker 2: we're gonna go ahead. I'm just getting into horoscope. So 672 00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:11,719 Speaker 2: I love to ask people like, oh, what's your sign? 673 00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,680 Speaker 2: Do a little research, and I want to know. I'm 674 00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:15,520 Speaker 2: a Sagittarius. 675 00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:19,480 Speaker 3: Yes, oh, Sagittarius are great people, Sagittarius. 676 00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:21,759 Speaker 2: But I have a cancer rising and so that kind 677 00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,960 Speaker 2: of balanced out that fire, which is which I've learned 678 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,480 Speaker 2: recently where I'm like, why I'm too emotional and like 679 00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:30,080 Speaker 2: very you know, just a little different vibe. And I 680 00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:32,280 Speaker 2: learned about my rising and I was like, oh, okay, 681 00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:37,480 Speaker 2: what about you, Dom, I am a scorpio scarpio, so 682 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:38,440 Speaker 2: we're very close. 683 00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:41,000 Speaker 3: All right. 684 00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:43,200 Speaker 2: Sorry for the detour there. I just had to ask. 685 00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:47,640 Speaker 2: But our next question is what's your biggest pet peas? 686 00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:51,880 Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, I probably have several. In fact, I 687 00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:55,760 Speaker 3: was recently thinking I could probably write a book because 688 00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:57,319 Speaker 3: I was and I was prompted by this because I 689 00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:00,839 Speaker 3: saw something that was important that was the was misspelled. 690 00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:07,040 Speaker 3: And I have a pet peeve about misspelling, which is 691 00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:13,080 Speaker 3: sad but it's true and probably a close Maybe this 692 00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:15,799 Speaker 3: is number one, and that's a close. Number one is 693 00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:21,840 Speaker 3: people who cross the street in slow motion. So I 694 00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:26,839 Speaker 3: let the pedestrian cross, but they're like walking in slow motion. 695 00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,600 Speaker 3: And I've got this, you know, it's playing in my head. 696 00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:32,279 Speaker 3: I hear Samuel Jackson, you know, needs to your chest, 697 00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:36,680 Speaker 3: needs to your chest, like you need to get across 698 00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:39,320 Speaker 3: this cross. I could go about my business. 699 00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:42,319 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I love it. You gave us too, And 700 00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:46,960 Speaker 2: I love the honest answers there. I'm digging it. 701 00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:50,239 Speaker 1: Too because misspellings are my pet teeve as well. 702 00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:52,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, I was just thinking about that. 703 00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:55,040 Speaker 3: I love it. Okay. 704 00:40:55,120 --> 00:41:00,000 Speaker 1: So the next question, what is your biggest guilty place. 705 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:05,000 Speaker 3: Oh chocolate. Oh my goodness, it's bad. It's it's bad. 706 00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:05,840 Speaker 3: It's chocolate. 707 00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:08,480 Speaker 4: How bad? We want to know how bad is it? 708 00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:13,759 Speaker 3: How bad is it? Well? I bought today. I went 709 00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:17,080 Speaker 3: to Walmart because I needed to get some packages to send, 710 00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:19,799 Speaker 3: you know, send some packages. And I was in the 711 00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:24,479 Speaker 3: checkout line and I thought, ooh, Reese's Peanut butter cup, 712 00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:27,920 Speaker 3: and so I got a Reesi's Peanut butter cup. And 713 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:30,319 Speaker 3: then I thought that might not be enough because I 714 00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:35,080 Speaker 3: don't have any chocolate, and so I got the big KitKat, 715 00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:38,080 Speaker 3: but with the dark chocolate, because if it's dark chocolate, 716 00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:38,719 Speaker 3: it's better for you. 717 00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:40,560 Speaker 2: Right there, you go go ahead, girl. 718 00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,160 Speaker 3: So then I looked at it and I saw that 719 00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:46,120 Speaker 3: it was two and a half servings because I am 720 00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:50,120 Speaker 3: kind of obsessive about what I eat, but chocolate and bad. 721 00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:51,920 Speaker 3: So it was two and a half servings, and there 722 00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,279 Speaker 3: were five of the little strip things you know in 723 00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:57,279 Speaker 3: a kit cat, And so I said, okay, then two 724 00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,720 Speaker 3: of these must be one servings. Five of the little strips, y'all. 725 00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,360 Speaker 3: I hate that full kit cat. It's done. 726 00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:08,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm with you, No judgment, no judgment because it's hard. 727 00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:10,040 Speaker 2: It's hard to have discipline when you're like, it's just 728 00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:12,719 Speaker 2: a little pack, right, Like, might as well just find 729 00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:13,040 Speaker 2: as shit? 730 00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:17,319 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and I know better. But I knew when 731 00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:19,479 Speaker 3: I bought that candy that it was over. 732 00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, you might as well go for it. If you 733 00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:24,480 Speaker 1: bought it, you might as well indulge. 734 00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:28,040 Speaker 2: Yep, yeah, I told to get it now, doctor Rita. 735 00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,560 Speaker 2: Our last question for you is what do you do 736 00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:31,200 Speaker 2: for fun? 737 00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:35,360 Speaker 3: It's hard to think about fun when I'm you know, 738 00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:40,440 Speaker 3: in quarantine. Yeah, but okay, so for fun. So my 739 00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:43,600 Speaker 3: favorite thing to do is to dance. And so whenever 740 00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:45,959 Speaker 3: I can get a group of friends to go out 741 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:50,080 Speaker 3: and go dancing, that's probably my number one thing. When 742 00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:53,160 Speaker 3: I was in grad school, people would be surprised that 743 00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:56,360 Speaker 3: I was actually the person out there doing dance competition 744 00:42:56,800 --> 00:43:01,160 Speaker 3: like dance battles. I was dance battling as a grads 745 00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,080 Speaker 3: and you know, and younger. I had to give that up, 746 00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:05,439 Speaker 3: but y'all love to dance. 747 00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,160 Speaker 2: Yes, thank you for sharing. I feel like we should 748 00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,120 Speaker 2: have asked our other question dom is she going to 749 00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,200 Speaker 2: t work or two step? That's usually what we ask 750 00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:15,319 Speaker 2: or sometimes in our go you clash your segment, Doctor Rita. So, 751 00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:16,960 Speaker 2: because you're a dancer, I feel like we have to 752 00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:18,479 Speaker 2: add that one on there are you going to twork 753 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,000 Speaker 2: or two step? If you had to choose, If. 754 00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:24,200 Speaker 3: I had to choose between a twerk and a two step, yeah, 755 00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:26,400 Speaker 3: I'd probably have to t work because of two steps. A. 756 00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:32,000 Speaker 2: Yes, that's what we love to hear. Well, doctor Ria. 757 00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:35,440 Speaker 2: We want to thank you so much for your commitment 758 00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:38,680 Speaker 2: to empowering our community, for the research that you've done, 759 00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:41,960 Speaker 2: for your work, for everything that you stand for. We're 760 00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:44,200 Speaker 2: definitely going to add a link to your book in 761 00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:46,520 Speaker 2: our show notes so that we can all purchase our 762 00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:49,040 Speaker 2: copy and support because it's so important for us to 763 00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:51,560 Speaker 2: support one another, and we love to know where can 764 00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:52,719 Speaker 2: our listeners find you. 765 00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:58,480 Speaker 3: I am at Rita walkerphd dot com, but I am 766 00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:03,280 Speaker 3: also on Instagram doctor Rita Walker, and Rita espelled r 767 00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:08,000 Speaker 3: h ee d is in diamond A. I'm on Twitter 768 00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:10,759 Speaker 3: and I am on YouTube with Rita Walker. But it's 769 00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:13,320 Speaker 3: not hard to miss. R h e e e d 770 00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:15,719 Speaker 3: is in diamond A. It's not hard to miss. Yeah, 771 00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:18,040 Speaker 3: you so much, Thank you both. 772 00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:22,759 Speaker 5: Hey, lady, it's doctor Dom here from the Herspace podcast. 773 00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:25,359 Speaker 5: Do you have a burning question you're dying to get 774 00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:29,080 Speaker 5: feedback on. Do you want an unbiased perspective on a 775 00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:34,120 Speaker 5: situation you're facing. If so, visit her spacepodcast dot com 776 00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:38,120 Speaker 5: and click ask doctor Dom under the start here option. 777 00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:41,359 Speaker 5: Every Tuesday, I'll choose a few questions and answer them 778 00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:45,920 Speaker 5: at random. Thanks for joining us today in her Space. 779 00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:51,799 Speaker 5: Please note that our show may contain conversations about self help, advice, 780 00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:55,600 Speaker 5: self empowerment, and mental health, but it is by no 781 00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:59,040 Speaker 5: means meant to be a substitute for an ongoing formal 782 00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:03,799 Speaker 5: relationship with a trained mental health provider. If you are 783 00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:06,800 Speaker 5: someone you know is in need of mental health care, 784 00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:11,440 Speaker 5: please visit the Therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology today 785 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,880 Speaker 5: or contact your insurance provider. 786 00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:16,120 Speaker 2: If you liked what you heard and want to keep 787 00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:19,520 Speaker 2: the conversation going, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and 788 00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:24,480 Speaker 2: Twitter at her space podcast, or check out our website 789 00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:28,760 Speaker 2: at herspacepodcast dot com. And before we meet again, repeat 790 00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:33,120 Speaker 2: after me, There's something inside of me that's bigger than 791 00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:34,080 Speaker 2: any obstacle. 792 00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:36,480 Speaker 4: We'll see you next week, Lady