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Speaker 1: Lute force.

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Speaker 2: If it doesn't work, you're just not using enough. You're

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Speaker 2: listening to Software Radio, Special Operations, Military Nails on straight

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Speaker 2: talk with the guys in the community.

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Speaker 3: Hey is this thing on? I'm pretty sure it's on.

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Speaker 3: What's going on? Welcome back to soft Rep Radio. I'm

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Speaker 3: your host. Say it with me, rad that's right. If

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Speaker 3: you have been listening for a long time, thank you

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Speaker 3: so much for your return, repeat listenership. And if you're

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Speaker 3: new to the program, watch out here we come. Get

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Speaker 3: ready for something cool. So I've got a cool guest today.

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Speaker 3: But before I introduce you to him, I want to

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Speaker 3: talk about the book club. So we have the soft

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Speaker 3: rep dot Com Forward slash Book hyphen Club. That is

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Speaker 3: the gym for your mind. Okay, I just got back

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Speaker 3: from the gym working out my physical What about the mental.

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Speaker 3: Read a book, grow your brain. It's a muscle. Get smart,

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Speaker 3: read a book soft rep dot Com Forward slash Book

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Speaker 3: hyphen Club. Maybe this gentleman that I'm speaking to will

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Speaker 3: get his book in our book club and you can

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Speaker 3: check that out. But first, the merch. We have merch.

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Speaker 3: You guys have been rocking it. Guys and gals, we

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Speaker 3: love y'all, so you rockin the soft Rep branded cool

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Speaker 3: items soft rep dot com forward slash merch. Callum, my

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Speaker 3: producer will maybe put something here in between my fingers

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Speaker 3: that says like store dot merch dot soft Rep soft

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Speaker 3: Rep merch, go check it out, tag us in it,

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Speaker 3: and let's let's just share that all over the internet

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Speaker 3: because I love you guys. Thank you so much for listening. Now,

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Speaker 3: without further ado, I bring you Magnus Johnson, founder of

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Speaker 3: Mission twenty two dot org, sits here with me. Welcome

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Speaker 3: to the show, Magnus. First of all, let's give you

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Speaker 3: a clap.

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Speaker 4: Hey, thanks a lot, Thanks for having me.

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Speaker 3: Now, now, Magnus, give me a moment to read a

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Speaker 3: bio that I stumbled onto. I'm just gonna tell you

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Speaker 3: can correct me on this bio. Ready, we're gonna go

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Speaker 3: to your LinkedIn. Here we go, Magnus Johnson's bio Green Berets,

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Speaker 3: How it starts. Magnus Johnson is a former Green Beret,

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Speaker 3: family man, writer and artist. He served three tours of duty,

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Speaker 3: first as an Army private combat engineer in Ramadi, Iraq,

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Speaker 3: and then as a Special Forces Staff Sergeant Green Beret

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Speaker 3: in Afghanistan. After eight years in the service, he faced

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Speaker 3: challenges transitioning back to civilian life, including post traumatic stress

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Speaker 3: disorder and depression. Johnson has been awarded a Bronze Star

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Speaker 3: Medal for combat actions and a Congressional record in the

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Speaker 3: Indiana House of Representatives for service to country and community.

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Speaker 3: He is the president and co founder of Mission twenty two,

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Speaker 3: organization dedicated to increasing mental health for veterans and their families.

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Speaker 3: You know what, bro, welcome to the show.

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Speaker 4: Hey, thanks a lot. Yeah, that bio is just about accurate.

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Speaker 1: There's probably a little little word things there that some

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Speaker 1: people will get me on, but my wife wrote that

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Speaker 1: up and it's about accurate.

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Speaker 4: It's about it's about ninety nine percent crewe.

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Speaker 3: And you're still married to the same lady that wrote this.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, still married.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, good job. Love that. I'd love to hear that.

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Speaker 3: And Mission twenty two. How how many of us have

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Speaker 3: not heard about Mission twenty two in the veteran community.

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Speaker 3: You know, here at soft REP, we're constantly talking about

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Speaker 3: awareness and you know, self help for one's you know,

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Speaker 3: choices in life, and Mission twenty two is out there

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Speaker 3: just trying to help bring you know, R and RS.

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Speaker 3: I think what you guys call it, like resiliency and recovery.

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Speaker 3: Let me think what I wrote down here, recovery allilien? Yeah, yes,

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Speaker 3: exactly right, And so okay, first of all, there's so

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Speaker 3: much to crack open with that. Right. How old were

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Speaker 3: you when you enlisted?

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Speaker 1: Let me get that out of the way, man, twenty

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Speaker 1: three twenty four. It was a delayed entry program, so

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Speaker 1: I was a little bit older. Yeah, I was a

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Speaker 1: little bit older, but uh, nine to eleven had happened,

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Speaker 1: and I had kind of sat on it, I think

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Speaker 1: for about a year.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, hey, if the war keeps.

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Speaker 1: Going, I'll join up, because I didn't know if it

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Speaker 1: was going to be like pop up, go away or

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Speaker 1: keep on going.

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Speaker 4: And so about a year after that happened, I entered.

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Speaker 4: But it was a delayed entry program.

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Speaker 3: And you joined what was the enticing bait on the

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Speaker 3: end of the fishing hook that just reeled you in?

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Speaker 3: Were you a eleven bravo like an infantryman? Did you

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Speaker 3: go in as a combat engineer? What was it? Exactly? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Man, So well, what it was was nine to eleven.

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Speaker 1: I wanted, you know, I wanted to fight when I

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Speaker 1: witnessed you know, I watched on the news at towers

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Speaker 1: come down. I had no intention of joining the military

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Speaker 1: until that moment in life, and then something inside of

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Speaker 1: me kind of stirred awake once I witnessed that. And

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Speaker 1: then the recruiter man, I wanted combat arms. I was

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Speaker 1: looking at actually, well, I was looking at a few things.

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Speaker 1: I was looking at cavscout, infantry, tanker, and and then uh,

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Speaker 1: what is it?

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Speaker 4: Combat camera? The journalist That was interesting to me.

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Speaker 1: But then the recruiter man he said, uh, he said

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Speaker 1: combat engineers just like infantry was C four And I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, that's me.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: Turned out it wasn't exactly true like that. It all

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Speaker 1: depends on who you're attached to.

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Speaker 4: Uh.

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Speaker 1: But I was attached to an infantry unit in Ramadi

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Speaker 1: in six so it was kind of true for me

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Speaker 1: on my first tour.

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Speaker 3: But did you do attached to that unit? What was it? Like?

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Speaker 3: What was it that they're like, Hey, so like a

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Speaker 3: Corman gets attached to just like a you know, a

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Speaker 3: Marine Corps team, like just randomly, Hey, you're a Corman

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Speaker 3: in the Corman pool, You're gonna go with this unit?

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Speaker 3: Is that kind of how it is for your job

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Speaker 3: as well your MOS military occupation. Well this trained and

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Speaker 3: then you just go with this unit. Well, for a

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Speaker 3: combat engineer, you can be attacked, you know. You can

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Speaker 3: be on base, building up bases, you know, you can.

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Speaker 3: You can be attached to tankers, helping dig fighting positions,

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Speaker 3: putting up pesco's, putting up Constantina wire. You know.

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Speaker 1: But when I was attached to the infantry in Ramadi,

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Speaker 1: you know, six we were clearing routes, we were digging

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Speaker 1: up cachets, looking for ied ease and then going with

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Speaker 1: them on their patrols.

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Speaker 4: So it was it was pretty intense.

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Speaker 3: Is that where you shoot out that long cable from

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Speaker 3: the tank and it goes out into the road and

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Speaker 3: like yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no man, I polished a few in the motor pool,

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Speaker 1: but I never got to shoot one. Yeah, but yeah,

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Speaker 1: it would have been cool to see that in real really.

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Speaker 3: Right, I've just seen the videos of it coming from Iraq.

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Speaker 3: It's just like boom, just fire, you know, all over

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Speaker 3: the road, just a big, huge explosion. But now you know,

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Speaker 3: never got that chance. Crazy, So you go combat engineer

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Speaker 3: and then the next step is.

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Speaker 4: So Ramadi was pretty tough. Man, it was that uh.

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Speaker 1: You know, you got Fallujah, Massoul Ramadi. Uh there, strategy

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Speaker 1: in Ramadi was different than Fallujah. Instead of going door

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Speaker 1: to door, it was like this containment thing. But the

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Speaker 1: fighting was pretty strong. And then after that tour we

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Speaker 1: took some casualties. We had we lost a few guys,

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Speaker 1: and man I kind of developed some like bitterness, resentment,

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Speaker 1: frustration and uh well, like in the regular army, you know,

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Speaker 1: I felt like we were kind of waiting to be hit,

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Speaker 1: being predictable. It just felt like I was always on

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Speaker 1: my back foot and something, you know, I got ardent

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Speaker 1: about becoming a.

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Speaker 4: Green Beret and going back to Iraq.

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Speaker 1: I was like, if I'm going to go back, I

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Speaker 1: want to go back trained, aggressive and with people that

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Speaker 1: all want to be there. And so I decided to

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Speaker 1: go to a selection after I got done with Ramadi.

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Speaker 3: And so you come back to the state side, you

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Speaker 3: go through selection and the qualifying course and all of

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Speaker 3: that to get your green Beret.

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Speaker 1: Well, I went back to Germany and then signed all up,

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Speaker 1: went to selection, found out I made it. Then I

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Speaker 1: went to North Carolina, went through the Q course and

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Speaker 1: became a Green break.

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Speaker 3: And became a Green Beret. Just like that, just a

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Speaker 3: blink of an eye. It's like, I mean, no, no,

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Speaker 3: it was. It was. It was like maybe an eighteen

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Speaker 3: month course for you to have to go through.

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Speaker 4: Well as far as green Brey go.

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Speaker 1: You know, I got French and engineers, so I'm not

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Speaker 1: uh you know, I didn't get Farsie and Delta, so

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Speaker 1: my my course is a little shorter, but you know,

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Speaker 1: still the challenge. It was a challenge for me anyway,

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Speaker 1: especially we we monsieur we we we we.

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Speaker 3: Actually it's so great. I love it.

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Speaker 4: I actually fail.

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Speaker 3: I was.

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Speaker 1: I recycled French, and I thought I was not going

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Speaker 1: to make I was not going to become a green

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Speaker 1: Bery because of language. And uh, man, I did every

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Speaker 1: I did. I watched movies in French. I listened to

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Speaker 1: Painted Black by the Rolling Stones they had There's this

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Speaker 1: woman that sings a French version, and.

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Speaker 4: I just tried to do everything in my power. Man,

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Speaker 4: and I barely made it.

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Speaker 3: So I did. I had struggles. That's amazing. And uh

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Speaker 3: I was probably the French foreign legion never popped up

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Speaker 3: in your mind.

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Speaker 4: It did, man. Actually, Oh okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, no,

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Speaker 4: I mean I wasn't going to do it.

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Speaker 1: But there was a few moments when I was I

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Speaker 1: entertained that romantic notion, but luckily I never I never

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Speaker 1: did it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, to get to the door, knock on it. You're like,

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Speaker 3: here's my passport.

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Speaker 1: Well, like I've always wanted a venture man. Like I

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Speaker 1: thought the French foreign legions sound you know, obviously it's

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Speaker 1: like romanticized from old movies and stuff, but it.

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Speaker 4: All sounded cool.

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Speaker 1: And then PCT hiking, the PCT, getting a gold claim,

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Speaker 1: things like that always kind of attracted to me.

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Speaker 3: You know, Oh, yeah, you did look into it a

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Speaker 3: little bit. I can hear that. Yeah, And so Green Beret.

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Speaker 3: You know, you just have this Olympian mentality to like

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Speaker 3: just persevere through you know, a marathon, to just keep

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Speaker 3: pushing with a ruck that weighs eighty plus pounds, you know,

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Speaker 3: up and down a mountain for seventy two hours in

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Speaker 3: a stress test, you know, trying to find land navigations.

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Speaker 3: You guys are constantly politicians that are placed into you know,

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Speaker 3: war zones with a satellite phone, like, how's it going?

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Speaker 3: You know, Oh, you want your kid to stop coughing.

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Speaker 3: I can help, but you to give me like six

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Speaker 3: of those guys over there to just dig this hole

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Speaker 3: and then you have your medic give them some night,

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Speaker 3: will You're like, hey, I.

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Speaker 1: Mean there's no doubt about it that on the teams

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Speaker 1: there's brilliant men, brilliant brilliant. I don't classify myself as

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Speaker 1: quite that level. I'm fortunate to be there. It's not

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Speaker 1: fake humility.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: I had some strengths. I was very adaptable. I was

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Speaker 1: never the strongest, the fastest, the smartest, but I usually

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Speaker 1: kept a pretty good attitude in the field. I kind

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Speaker 1: of struggled on bass, but in the field, I kept

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Speaker 1: a good attitude, always willing sleep, didn't sleep. Deprivation didn't

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Speaker 1: bother me much. And I liked that grind, you know,

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Speaker 1: I liked I liked having odds against this and pushing, pushing,

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Speaker 1: but definitely men surrounded by great men.

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Speaker 3: Great Yeah, no, agreed, And growing up in that culture

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Speaker 3: with my father being a Green Beret, and you know,

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Speaker 3: those guys always talk to each other with a first

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Speaker 3: name basis. The only time I ever heard like, uh,

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Speaker 3: Sergeant first class Ratal was like, I think he was

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Speaker 3: in trouble by his major. But otherwise they were always

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Speaker 3: like hey Jack, Hey, Hey Beson. You know, it was

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Speaker 3: always like a first name basis in the in the

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Speaker 3: teams because when they go out, they just you know,

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Speaker 3: the rank matters on the base and it matters in

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Speaker 3: a chain of command. But those guys seemed to just

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Speaker 3: all be of the same cloth and understanding each other

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Speaker 3: when they're on the teams.

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Speaker 1: Man, that's something you know, I've been out for a

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Speaker 1: few years now and running businesses, being a part of

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Speaker 1: businesses working with civilians, and that's something that civilians struggle with,

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Speaker 1: knowing when to you know, what have to wear a

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Speaker 1: win like, hey, now's the time to be you know, friends, peers.

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Speaker 4: Now are on mission.

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Speaker 1: Now we're on the X, Like, all right, now is ranked.

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Speaker 1: Now's not the time to question me, Now's the time

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Speaker 1: to execute. And so, you know, I've missed that. I

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Speaker 1: miss being able to have that first name basis, have

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Speaker 1: a friendly rapport, but then be able to go into

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Speaker 1: professionalism and then when it's over bounce out to you know,

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Speaker 1: it's a difficult thing to do, and that's probably one

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Speaker 1: of the few cultures I've seen it actually happen where it's.

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Speaker 3: A Heckel and Gide situation or Jeckel and Hyde excuse me,

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Speaker 3: where you have one dude who's trained to go on

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Speaker 3: point with whatever equipment is attached to him. And then

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Speaker 3: another who can you know, also coach the kid's soccer

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Speaker 3: game when he's not doing that same thing.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's just this rotation of command and control of

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Speaker 1: life responsibility. But then you always is our aware situational awareness,

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Speaker 1: right like okay, hey it's we're on base. My captain's

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Speaker 1: talking to Major so and so so like yes sir, no, sir, yes, yeah, right, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, and you got to know when and you

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Speaker 1: got to have that respect, and you got to have

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Speaker 1: that maturity and you've got to you know, have the awareness.

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Speaker 3: And once you got your Green Beret Special Forces TAB

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Speaker 3: the United States Special Forces, I'll call you what you are.

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Speaker 3: Uh what did you then go off to do that?

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Speaker 3: You can tell me, like what was your next deployment

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Speaker 3: after that with the teams? Was it back to Iraq?

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Speaker 3: Was it back to you know that was that your

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Speaker 3: theater of operation was the Middle East?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I didn't go back to Iraq. I wanted

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Speaker 1: to go back to Iraq at least I thought it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know that's what you were saying. Yeah, but uh no,

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Speaker 1: we ended up going to Afghanistan. Uh and uh, it was.

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Speaker 1: It was really interesting. I got better at my my

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Speaker 1: mos you know, we had but it wasn't heavy combat.

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Speaker 1: On my second tour, it was a lot of training,

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Speaker 1: a lot of ranges, a few missions, but nothing like

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Speaker 1: the intensity of Ramadino six.

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Speaker 4: And so the tour was short.

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Speaker 1: But I learned how to be a I forget what

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Speaker 1: it's called, but basically an assistant charlie. There's like the

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Speaker 1: main Charlie and the assistant charlie. I learned how to

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Speaker 1: be the assistant, learned how to do my job a

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Speaker 1: little better. And then after that I did another tour

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Speaker 1: to Afghanistan, my third tour, and you know, that one

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Speaker 1: was where I was doing my job and we were

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Speaker 1: fighting and it was unconventional and it was politics. So

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Speaker 1: my third and final tour was kind of the cl

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Speaker 1: for me anyway, with culmination of like combat experience.

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Speaker 4: What was it called.

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Speaker 1: I forget the acronym they are running that time, but

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Speaker 1: we're basically training police and army sold We were doing

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Speaker 1: this like training with the police for the Afghanistan.

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Speaker 3: With the A and A the Afghan National Army and

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Speaker 3: W Yeah, those guys, I forget what it had a

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Speaker 3: name Man, but I forget it.

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Speaker 1: But it basically we were like training up the police

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Speaker 1: in the Afghan Army to work together. But that was

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Speaker 1: about a year tour and I got to do a

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Speaker 1: bit of everything that I had kind of imagined. What

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Speaker 1: it would be liked to be a green.

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Speaker 3: Break, did you You know, I, if I was in

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Speaker 3: that position, would want to trust everybody that I'm training,

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Speaker 3: but I would want to like maybe trust them from

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Speaker 3: behind them, right, So like, yeah, well they're on the line,

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Speaker 3: you know, you know, any any close calls with that, Well.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there was a close call. I think a term

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Speaker 1: that a lot of green Brays use is trust but verify.

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Speaker 1: That's kind of in our culture, you know, trust but verify,

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Speaker 1: which is a good thing to live by.

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Speaker 3: Agreed.

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Speaker 1: We did this big connection link up where we had

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Speaker 1: some NATO troops, some Afghan troops, some Afghan Army guys,

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Speaker 1: and US and we were linking up to do this

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Speaker 1: big operation and there was an Afghan soldier in the

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Speaker 1: back of a truck.

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Speaker 4: I think it was a highlux probably, and I can't.

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Speaker 1: Remember what the rifle was, but it was a machine

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Speaker 1: gun PKM or whatever it was. It was a machine

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Speaker 1: gun and he was having a hard time getting it

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Speaker 1: loaded or getting it something was going on where he

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Speaker 1: was having a hard time, like a malfunction or something,

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Speaker 1: and my Bravo hopped up in the back of the

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Speaker 1: truck to help them, and the Afghan guy took that

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Speaker 1: as an insult, like, you know, hey, don't get in

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Speaker 1: my lane, you know, and he lifted a hamp like

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Speaker 1: a hammer tool or whatever, getting ready to come down,

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Speaker 1: and uh, well, well there was kind of a moment

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Speaker 1: there where everything kind of got real tense and he

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Speaker 1: was yelled at to stop, and uh there was like

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Speaker 1: a moment where I wasn't sure if he's gone or not.

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Speaker 1: Thankfully he did, and the situation, you know, cooled off,

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Speaker 1: but there was a lot of tension and a lot

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Speaker 1: of mistrust, and for good reason. You know, there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of things that happened from from those relationships, you know,

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Speaker 1: where they got people on the inside and this, that

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Speaker 1: and the other. So it's complicated, you know, there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of there's a lot of layers and complications to it,

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Speaker 1: and conflict and moments did arise sometimes out of nowhere unexpectedly.

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Speaker 3: But and is that is that education? You know, the

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Speaker 3: the the that layer. Do you learn that through the

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Speaker 3: Q course? Is that like something that has to be

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Speaker 3: already in you to be able to you know, separate

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Speaker 3: your from like, okay, we have to like you said, layers, right,

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Speaker 3: there's layers of an SF guy. It's like, are they

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Speaker 3: teaching you how to be this politician or do you

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Speaker 3: already have this understanding and demeanor when you go in

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Speaker 3: how to work with folks like that?

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Speaker 1: Well, you know, their recruitment process is pretty elaborate, you know,

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Speaker 1: their psychological tests.

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Speaker 4: I couldn't tell you who exactly they're looking for.

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Speaker 1: I can guess I've heard rumors, you know, but I

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Speaker 1: think they really know what they're recruiting for. And then

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Speaker 1: once they get the right recruitment, then they you know,

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Speaker 1: they do the training and you do the education. But

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Speaker 1: I think that they're probably pretty phenomenal at finding the

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Speaker 1: profiles of people.

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Speaker 4: That they're looking for.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they're good at what they do. Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And I couldn't tell you their methodology. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: got some general awareness, but I don't know exactly.

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Speaker 3: It's like trying to learn the algorithm of TikTok. You're

362
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Speaker 3: just not gonna ever know it. Yeah, he's got to

363
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Speaker 3: post up and hope that your stuff gets seen. They're

364
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Speaker 3: the same thing. They're like, we're just gonna let you

365
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Speaker 3: know how you're gonna if your next step is in

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Speaker 3: this classroom more exiting out this door.

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I'll tell you, man, like I grew

368
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Speaker 1: up in a van. My dad is a musician, you know,

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Speaker 1: I grew up poor.

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Speaker 3: I grew up.

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Speaker 1: I was supposed to be doing homeschool, but I didn't

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Speaker 1: get to do a lot of it. And so I

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Speaker 1: the psychologist said like, hey, you got a ten cylinder

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Speaker 1: engine running on eight, meaning like in their psychological survey

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Speaker 1: they had identified that I had the capacity, but I

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Speaker 1: hadn't put the fuel in, and so they still recruited

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Speaker 1: me because they thought I had a mental capacity to

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Speaker 1: do it. But they also acknowledged that, you know, hey,

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Speaker 1: he hasn't like gone through as much traditional academic.

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Speaker 4: Training, so they were able to kind of tease out

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Speaker 4: these differences.

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Speaker 3: Wow, you know, wow, No, that's that's that's smart. I

383
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Speaker 3: like to hear that, right, because you don't hear too

384
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Speaker 3: much of that that conversation. It's usually like, oh, I

385
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Speaker 3: was rocking am sixty on the back of a humby.

386
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Speaker 3: But there's a lot of smartness. Like you said, there's

387
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Speaker 3: brilliant people on these teams all right, whether you're being

388
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Speaker 3: humble or not. You know you're around that. So you're gonna,

389
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Speaker 3: you know, sponge off of those guys you know and

390
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Speaker 3: their glasses. Okay, they wear their glasses, you know the

391
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Speaker 3: guy you know talking about, and it's like, let me

392
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Speaker 3: wear my glasses. Hold on me, my glasses on real quick, like,

393
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Speaker 3: but you're the best shot on the team. Let me

394
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Speaker 3: just put my glasses off. I just love the SF

395
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Speaker 3: culture in that community. You know, very proud of how

396
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Speaker 3: my father lived his life and raised us, and so

397
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Speaker 3: I can only imagine, you know, he never brought it home.

398
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Speaker 3: I never saw that work come home. And I'm kind

399
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Speaker 3: of transitioning into this this this next conversation we're going

400
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Speaker 3: to have about transitioning out of what you just did,

401
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:31,520
Speaker 3: learning all of these types of skill sets, seeing things,

402
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Speaker 3: seeing things you can't talk about, seeing things that maybe

403
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Speaker 3: you can't talk about that you never saw, that you

404
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:37,040
Speaker 3: never saw because you weren't there, but you were there,

405
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Speaker 3: but you were never there. All those things in your

406
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Speaker 3: brain and you have to live with it. Walk by

407
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,680
Speaker 3: your wife, every day. Hey, that's up, babe. I can't

408
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Speaker 3: tell you anything. My dad never wanted us. My dad

409
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Speaker 3: took stuff to the grave. I'm sure of it. I'm

410
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Speaker 3: sure of it, you know, like to with the oath

411
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Speaker 3: that he swore, right, I mean, that's that's just how

412
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Speaker 3: you guys live, right. And So now that you're transitioning

413
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Speaker 3: back from SF to stayside, you served like eight years

414
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Speaker 3: as a Green Beret?

415
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Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, I did four I think as

416
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Speaker 1: regular Army and then Q course and then time as

417
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Speaker 1: a Green Bray. So it's like two or three years

418
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Speaker 1: as a Green Bray, a year and a half or

419
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Speaker 1: so is the Q course, and then four years.

420
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Speaker 4: In the regular Army, like in between time you know,

421
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Speaker 4: waiting or whatever.

422
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Speaker 3: So what was the what was the click that said,

423
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Speaker 3: I'm just I went through all of this. You know,

424
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Speaker 3: you've become basically like a doctor of Special Forces warfare,

425
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Speaker 3: you know, as a Green Beret. So like, what what

426
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Speaker 3: what is it that transitioned you to just not swear

427
00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:38,360
Speaker 3: up again? Yeah? Man?

428
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Speaker 1: Well, so, like I was saying, you know, I grew

429
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Speaker 1: up pretty hard, I grew up pretty poor, and so

430
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Speaker 1: I already I already brought with me some like baggage

431
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Speaker 1: to the military right before I even got there. And

432
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Speaker 1: then you know, Ramadi was a kick in the kick

433
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Speaker 1: in the ass, and I picked up some you know, PTSD,

434
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:00,520
Speaker 1: shell shock, whatever you want to call it from that,

435
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,600
Speaker 1: and then the you know, you went into Q course

436
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,879
Speaker 1: two more tours, and so I'm already kind of the

437
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:08,000
Speaker 1: skin is thin.

438
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:12,280
Speaker 4: And then you add on that the rules of engagement

439
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:18,040
Speaker 4: are changing, the political climate's changing. It's kind of like difficult,

440
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 4: like what are we doing? Are we winning? Is this

441
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:21,880
Speaker 4: like does this have an end?

442
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:22,080
Speaker 3: Like?

443
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,399
Speaker 1: So I started getting kind of confused on the vision

444
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,600
Speaker 1: and it started kind of becoming complex to me of

445
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,040
Speaker 1: like what's the goal, what's winning?

446
00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:30,960
Speaker 4: What are we doing?

447
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,360
Speaker 1: And I got to that point and I was right

448
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,680
Speaker 1: around the cusp of thirty. I had given three tours.

449
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,119
Speaker 1: I felt like in my own heart that I had

450
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:43,000
Speaker 1: answered the call that was beckoning me with nine to

451
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:47,639
Speaker 1: eleven yes, and I felt like that was a good

452
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,880
Speaker 1: way to exit, you know, it was I could exit honorably.

453
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,760
Speaker 1: I had done the tours, I had put in the training,

454
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 1: I had committed, I had honored my oath, and it

455
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:59,120
Speaker 1: kind of seemed like a natural point to move on.

456
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:00,360
Speaker 4: In a way.

457
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,520
Speaker 3: So I did, yeah, on your tour, on your terms.

458
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,159
Speaker 3: It was your terms, and that's that's chill. And so

459
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:11,959
Speaker 3: now when did you realize that you alongside with all

460
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,840
Speaker 3: these other folks coming home from combat and war, you know,

461
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,560
Speaker 3: and and the whole global war on terrorism which was

462
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,879
Speaker 3: twenty plus years still ongoing. I mean, as we talked today,

463
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 3: you know, we have Middle East erupting right over there

464
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:27,080
Speaker 3: with Iran and all this, you know, I mean it's

465
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:32,520
Speaker 3: just non So I guess, you know, it's consistent, like,

466
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,640
Speaker 3: you know, where's the break, you know, for our veterans

467
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:37,520
Speaker 3: to like have a moment of no war. But I

468
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,119
Speaker 3: guess you're trained to go to war. I don't know.

469
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 3: So when you got out, I guess my question to

470
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 3: you is what made you feel the need to create

471
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:46,920
Speaker 3: Mission twenty two dot org.

472
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I got out, and I think it was

473
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 1: like the end of twenty eleven, beginning of twenty twelve,

474
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 1: right on the CUSP, and some guys I knew started

475
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,520
Speaker 1: tomit suicide, started hearing about suicide, you know. And then

476
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,359
Speaker 1: I had some mentors of mine that were, you know,

477
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:04,800
Speaker 1: been in military a lot longer than me.

478
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:06,639
Speaker 4: I had struggled in the military.

479
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 1: You know, there have been moments when I thought about it.

480
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 1: It was around you know people, he was there, but

481
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,639
Speaker 1: I had kind of decompressed and I started kind of

482
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 1: like paying attention and looking at everything. And then a

483
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:21,160
Speaker 1: guy I really respected, man, he hung himself. I don't

484
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,920
Speaker 1: want to say his name, because sure there's still family

485
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 1: kind of there's still raw for them, and uh, dude,

486
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 1: it dawned on me that that guy was asking me

487
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 1: all because I was, like I said, I was having

488
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,320
Speaker 1: some struggles, struggles with alcohol and getting in trouble in this,

489
00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 1: that and the other. And he would always ask me.

490
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,320
Speaker 1: He's like, hey, how are you Hey? Are you doing

491
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:41,600
Speaker 1: all right? And then he asked me all the time,

492
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,360
Speaker 1: and I never asked him like, hey, how are you right?

493
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 1: I was self centered. I was struggling, and I wasn't

494
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 1: thinking about others. I was thinking about myself and how

495
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:51,679
Speaker 1: my life sucks. And this guy was always asking me.

496
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:55,479
Speaker 1: And then that was a guy that hung himself, And

497
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,639
Speaker 1: then that hit me, man, And then I started doing

498
00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 1: a little homework. Some of my mentor started telling me

499
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,440
Speaker 1: about the VA report at that time, which is twenty.

500
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:03,600
Speaker 3: Two a day.

501
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:07,479
Speaker 1: I believe in twenty twelve, and I started doing some research. Man,

502
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,440
Speaker 1: and I was like resentful. I was like, okay, we

503
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:13,520
Speaker 1: got the global war and terror. There's no like declared victory.

504
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:17,879
Speaker 1: Suicide rates are pack are peeking up, and I'm like, well,

505
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:19,640
Speaker 1: what's what's what's a VA doing?

506
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,240
Speaker 4: What is America doing? What is the army doing?

507
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:24,480
Speaker 1: I'm blaming everyone, I'm looking at everything. I'm annoyed, I'm irritated,

508
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:28,480
Speaker 1: I'm frustrated, I'm entitled. And man, something came in like

509
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 1: I looked in the mirror and I mean I didn't

510
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,879
Speaker 1: speak to myself, but it felt like I did. It's like, well,

511
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,119
Speaker 1: what are you doing about it? And the answer, you know,

512
00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 1: I had no, I had nothing, I'm not doing I'm

513
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:37,880
Speaker 1: bitching about it.

514
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:40,920
Speaker 4: And then like something in me kind of hit me again.

515
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:44,399
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, well I could do something, you know,

516
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 1: I could at least contribute to this.

517
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:49,479
Speaker 4: I could raise awareness. I could make this more of

518
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,160
Speaker 4: a situation that people I know about.

519
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,359
Speaker 1: It's not like in secret. And so I decided to

520
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:56,600
Speaker 1: build this big art piece in the town I lived in.

521
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:57,680
Speaker 4: This big sculpture.

522
00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 1: It's a leaf sculpture because it's like an art call

523
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,440
Speaker 1: any town, but they get a massive ton of tourists.

524
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 1: So it's like a choke point.

525
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:04,760
Speaker 3: I love it.

526
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:08,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, people come to come be tourists. It's uh, it's

527
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 1: in Nashville, Indiana. It's it's famous for fall leaves and

528
00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 1: uh millions of people come there every year. And you know,

529
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:18,480
Speaker 1: through a long story, I got I finaggled a way

530
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 1: to do this big art installation in the middle of

531
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:28,080
Speaker 1: the town and uh you did.

532
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I'm good. No, I'm good in our installation

533
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 3: inside the town.

534
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, well hold on, can I finish?

535
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:36,399
Speaker 3: Yeah? Please.

536
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 4: So that's all I was going to do.

537
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: Man, I was going to like, hey, I'm going to

538
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,480
Speaker 1: build this art piece with veterans, give it to the town,

539
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 1: raise awareness of this issue, and will be good. And

540
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 1: I had no intention of building a charity, no intention

541
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 1: of building a national campaign, no intention of any of it.

542
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 1: I just wanted to do something to acknowledge my friend,

543
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:58,240
Speaker 1: to not just you know, be a witness. And but

544
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,680
Speaker 1: in order to build that project, I had to get insurance,

545
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 1: I had to get cash. People wouldn't give me cash

546
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 1: without you know, having a tax deduction. And so it

547
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 1: just turned into an organization from that.

548
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,760
Speaker 3: And so and so the whole thing became like a

549
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,879
Speaker 3: five oh one C three. That way, there was a

550
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:19,399
Speaker 3: tax deduction if anybody wanted to give you anything. And

551
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,439
Speaker 3: that's where Mission twenty two was originated, was from the

552
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,440
Speaker 3: leaf that you created. Yeah.

553
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 1: Man, it's it's a super cool art piece, man, it

554
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:31,920
Speaker 1: really is. It's it's massive, it's beautiful, it's it's it's

555
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 1: right in the center of town. And so from that,

556
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 1: you know, because it was large scale, it wasn't.

557
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:36,879
Speaker 3: Like this little thing. It was like a can you

558
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 3: tell me how big it is? Like, is it six

559
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 3: feet tall? Oh?

560
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:43,960
Speaker 4: No, it's like thirty feet tall. At the visitors center, we.

561
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 1: Got a guy who is like a like a phenomenal

562
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 1: automobile painter, and he painted it all up. It looks

563
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,919
Speaker 1: like winds swirling the lead. It's it's beautiful. I mean,

564
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:56,679
Speaker 1: it's a real deal art installation. And I mean the

565
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 1: town loves it, dude. I mean, it's it's a like.

566
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:02,959
Speaker 3: I see it, right, Do I see this big thing?

567
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,520
Speaker 3: Is this in front of a building?

568
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 1: It's in front of a brown building. That's the visitor

569
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:07,880
Speaker 1: Center in Nashville, Indiana.

570
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 3: And it's things to do in Nashville, Indiana. Yeah. There

571
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:16,919
Speaker 3: it is holy cow. So is that welded? Yeah, so

572
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:17,880
Speaker 3: you're a welder too.

573
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,879
Speaker 4: Well. I mean I had to learn. I had to

574
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:23,720
Speaker 4: learn how to weld. I had to learn how to do,

575
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 4: you know, do local politics. I had to learn.

576
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:28,359
Speaker 1: I had to learn business. I had to learn all

577
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 1: this stuff because of the things I wanted to do.

578
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:34,439
Speaker 1: You know, but you know, you don't want me to

579
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 1: weld bridge. You don't want me to weld hear bridge.

580
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,159
Speaker 1: But I could weld smart, you know.

581
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 3: You know what's funny is my business partner. We do

582
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:42,919
Speaker 3: war games here in Utah and we always go up

583
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,360
Speaker 3: against armored personnel carriers that drop guys off behind us.

584
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,480
Speaker 3: So we went in. He went into the garage with

585
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:51,879
Speaker 3: a blowtorch and a welder and he created a tank

586
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,200
Speaker 3: out of an Azuzu Rodeo so that we could have

587
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,679
Speaker 3: an armored personnel carrier that is literal. Yeah, I had

588
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 3: to have it revend by the higher patrol as a tank.

589
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 3: So I have it Uzu tank in Utah. I like that.

590
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 3: What he says is he's like, you know, rad, I'm

591
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,200
Speaker 3: not a welder, so what's your excuse?

592
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 4: Right?

593
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, because I'm like, how'd you

594
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,359
Speaker 3: learn to weld. He's like, well, I'm not a welder.

595
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 3: I just took YouTube tutorial kind of like.

596
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 1: Bro, the welders will get you for stolen valor if

597
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:19,879
Speaker 1: you go around saying you're a welder and you're not

598
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:23,119
Speaker 1: really a welder. Dude, Yeah, I can stick settle together.

599
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, he said, I'm not a welder, So what's your excuse?

600
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 3: Why didn't I make what we helped? I took photos

601
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 3: of him working, so that matters, dude.

602
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,119
Speaker 1: Have you seen that meme where there's a kid with

603
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 1: like he's like this like redneck kid, he's got the

604
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 1: welding helmet and he says the meme says, my dad says,

605
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:40,919
Speaker 1: if you grind.

606
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,679
Speaker 4: Your welds, you're not a welder. You're a grinder. Have

607
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:43,159
Speaker 4: you seen this?

608
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 3: No? I haven't, but it makes sense. It makes sense.

609
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 4: I can weld, but I'm not a welder.

610
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:52,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's what he says. That's exactly what he says.

611
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 3: I'm so funny and that just reminded me of it

612
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,879
Speaker 3: because again, here you are, and so do you draw?

613
00:27:57,960 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 3: Are you already like a painter? Are you a Bob

614
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:03,159
Speaker 3: Ross by nature? Or like someone that threw all the time. No.

615
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,640
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm definitely like growing up in a van,

616
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:09,800
Speaker 1: growing up weird. I can see patterns, I can I

617
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:13,159
Speaker 1: can be adaptable, and I can find ways to solve problems.

618
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:18,360
Speaker 1: And art creativity solves problems that don't have answers.

619
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 3: I mean, it's just really cool. I just I'm flipping

620
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:24,680
Speaker 3: back and forth. So my listener or my viewer, you're

621
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,439
Speaker 3: not going to see what I'm looking at because I'm

622
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 3: on my laptop. But I've flipped over on a screen

623
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,680
Speaker 3: and I'm able to see it. And go check out Nashville,

624
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 3: Indiana's art leaf sculpture by Magnus and you'll see you

625
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:38,640
Speaker 3: know exactly what we're talking about. Yeah, And that's just

626
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 3: that's got to be very therapeutic for you to be

627
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 3: focused on something, to be accomplished with a goal. So

628
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 3: you said, okay, I need to get something done. What

629
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 3: am I doing? And you went and did something and

630
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:53,280
Speaker 3: you stayed busy, and I find that, you know, the

631
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 3: idle mind is the playground of all sorts of different

632
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 3: types of demons that could be in our heads, you know,

633
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 3: and they could induced by drinking, buy pills that are

634
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 3: given by doctors that you think are Okay. It's like

635
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 3: a doctor says, hey, here, take this prescription of you know, uh,

636
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 3: what are they taking these days? Zoloften like you know,

637
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:14,840
Speaker 3: things like that that just are supposed to help you out.

638
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 3: And you know, we have a thing at soft Rep

639
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 3: Radio where we talk about thrills before pills. We want

640
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 3: you to go out and enjoy the just go for

641
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,840
Speaker 3: a walk. Just go outside for a walk, you know,

642
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 3: or go up in the mountains and try skiing, or

643
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 3: you know, recreational therapy. If you can go to the

644
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 3: VA and talk to your VA representative about recreational therapy

645
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 3: versus you know, medicine. I'm not saying that all pills

646
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 3: are bad pills. Like I'm on a resovea stat in

647
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,640
Speaker 3: for my heart. Hey, I take a five milligram pill

648
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 3: at night. They're like, hey, keep the cholesterol downrad I'm like, okay,

649
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 3: I believe in that. So I'm not saying don't do that.

650
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 3: I'm just saying you can always ask, you know, is

651
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 3: there something else like could I get a mountain bike

652
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,880
Speaker 3: instead of like a bottle of Prosa or a prozac,

653
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 3: you know, could I I get a helmet with that?

654
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 3: And the VA does have those resources. For vets.

655
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, man, uh, what's the opposite of death?

656
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:08,560
Speaker 3: You know?

657
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 4: And to me it was creation?

658
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 3: Yeah.

659
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 4: And what's the opposite of the end?

660
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 3: You know?

661
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 4: Or what is Well, it's detail the beginnings, you know.

662
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 1: And so like I saw this one video where it

663
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 1: showed like a normal person, like if you look at something,

664
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 1: a normal person's eye sort of scans it and like, Okay,

665
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 1: that's a chair or that's a whatever it is, you know,

666
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 1: you just scan it, get it. Well, an artist, I

667
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 1: will start and scan it like this and like pull

668
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 1: out every detail, every shape, every tone, every color, every

669
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:45,960
Speaker 1: you know, and so unintentionally getting doing metal art to

670
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 1: raise money because I would sell these pieces to pay

671
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 1: for soaring the leaf sculpture. I had to start looking

672
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 1: at beauty. I had to start looking at shade, depth, color.

673
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:56,320
Speaker 1: I had to start learning how to weld. I had

674
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 1: to learn electricity, amps, jewels, vote volts, you know. I

675
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 1: had to learn so much stuff to be able to

676
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 1: do this one project that it was unbeknownst to me

677
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 1: I was rewiring my brain, you know, starting to anyway.

678
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, you have to learn what MiG welding versus tig

679
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 3: welding is, and like all the different. You're laughing. I

680
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 3: don't know what that's the right.

681
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:19,920
Speaker 4: I think you're being funny, dude.

682
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 1: No, you got tig stick, you got different rods, you

683
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 1: got different amps.

684
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 4: You know, it's a pain in the ass, you know

685
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 4: when you know what you're doing.

686
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 3: No or how the how the how, how that is

687
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,480
Speaker 3: going to work with the weld, with.

688
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,360
Speaker 4: The metal, with the weld in the conditions.

689
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:38,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, It's all I learned from watching my buddy

690
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 3: Ajax make the tank. I was in the lab. You know,

691
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,360
Speaker 3: it's like watching so I call you guys iron man.

692
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:46,240
Speaker 3: It's where you go into the cave with a blowtorch

693
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 3: and a welder and you come out You're like, you

694
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 3: like this? You like my outfit? You know, you like

695
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 3: my tank? Do you like my leaf? You know it's like,

696
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,960
Speaker 3: you know this artistic focus. I love that, right, And

697
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,040
Speaker 3: so I mean like everything from the beginnings of the

698
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 3: drawing that he did on the whiteboard of the tank

699
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 3: and how he wanted it to kind of look. You know,

700
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 3: we still have that. It's like stained on our whiteboard

701
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 3: from like twelve years ago. So we still have that

702
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 3: hanging up in the garage with the war machine. So

703
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:12,320
Speaker 3: every time we look over there we can see the

704
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 3: original design, which was on a whiteboard he drew it.

705
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 1: I gotta I gotta ad man. I was thinking about that.

706
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 1: I thought, remember this while we were talking. You know,

707
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 1: I had mentors and friends, and I did the project

708
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 1: with a with a local artist, and I did the

709
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 1: project with a airbrush, you know, expert sure, and I

710
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 1: got local guys at our welders to teach me. And

711
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 1: so just like an SF you know, if you want

712
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 1: to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far,

713
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 1: goo with the team. And so I developed a team

714
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 1: to do these projects. So I can't take all ownership

715
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 1: of that because that wouldn't be true. But I definitely

716
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 1: like orchestrated it, built the team and you know.

717
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 3: Saw the mission through to completion. And again that's the

718
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 3: same thing with us. We had a guy that was

719
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 3: always helping Ajax hold the metal, tacking it, you know,

720
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,880
Speaker 3: and like they were doing it together, a skilled guy.

721
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 3: And then I was there just taking pictures for posterity,

722
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 3: you know.

723
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:03,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, making it.

724
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 3: I'd be like I'd all do it a selfie with

725
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 3: like holding the glove and the hammer, like I've done

726
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 3: all of the work. I have to do that it's

727
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:12,400
Speaker 3: you know, so if you ever see us in our tank,

728
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:15,160
Speaker 3: just know that it's an art piece of love for

729
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 3: the wargame community here and we draft we travel with

730
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 3: it everywhere. Honestly, do we take out armor personnel carriers.

731
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 3: We take out deuce and a halfs because it has

732
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:27,280
Speaker 3: a forty millimeter canon that he patented my business partner

733
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:31,520
Speaker 3: four Airsoft Wargames that shoots a forty millimeter projectile ball

734
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 3: about one hundred yards safely, and so we'll shoot them

735
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 3: into windows of buildings. We go to like the old

736
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 3: George Air Force Base in California, and we clash with

737
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 3: like eight hundred other fighters who have semi trucks with

738
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:48,040
Speaker 3: two APCs on them. Yeah, I'm like, bro, I am,

739
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 3: I thought I was in the hobby.

740
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 4: You guys are the side by side of the battlefield.

741
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 3: I mean seriously, Well, yeah, and we have a we

742
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 3: can set four inside, twelve on top and then and

743
00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 3: they all have turrets on the inside that we're up.

744
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,880
Speaker 3: Just look up the Utah war Machine Airsoft on Google

745
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,360
Speaker 3: if you're listening to this on any any platform, and

746
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:09,920
Speaker 3: you can just see the war machine itself and Ajax

747
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:12,960
Speaker 3: as the creator. I'm just I mean, honestly, it just

748
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 3: kept him busy. He was in there for like a

749
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 3: year creating this table.

750
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 1: Well, I mean look at your excitement, Like you made it,

751
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 1: you created it, you did it with your friends.

752
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 4: It's unique.

753
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:23,480
Speaker 1: No one else has one. Like, so all of that

754
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:27,279
Speaker 1: is like dope. I mean, serotonin creativity. You're neuroplasticity. You know,

755
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,960
Speaker 1: you're solving problems and like it's done as a team

756
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 1: and it's it's amazing and it's unique and it's yours.

757
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 3: And we're mechanized as a team too. Now, So we

758
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 3: went from being boots on the ground just fighting, you know,

759
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 3: house to house to house to like getting rolled up

760
00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 3: to the house, jumping off of it, going inside and

761
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:44,239
Speaker 3: coming right back to it. And then and then when

762
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:46,759
Speaker 3: the armored personnels with the tracks are coming around, we

763
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 3: can kill them take them out because we have AsSalt

764
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 3: vehicle troop transport and we have to have infantry with us.

765
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 3: Otherwise we're always exposed. Everybody thinks, oh the war machines coming,

766
00:34:56,080 --> 00:35:00,239
Speaker 3: We're like, ah, iighty three infantry guys around me right now. Wow.

767
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:03,359
Speaker 4: But yeah, man, like.

768
00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 3: That's the power of creativity for PTSD though war games

769
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 3: that we do I meet guys like you all the

770
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 3: time that are in the games. You know, guys that

771
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,239
Speaker 3: have been there, Guys that can never go because they

772
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 3: had asthma. Somebody who's just looking to shoulders shoulder. They

773
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:21,239
Speaker 3: get out of the military, they're like, what do I do?

774
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:23,400
Speaker 3: And they come into our war game shop and they

775
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:25,319
Speaker 3: meet me or they meet our guys and they're like,

776
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 3: you guys, do this, this is your hobby. We're like, yeah.

777
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,840
Speaker 3: We go out into the desert. We're there for like

778
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 3: eight ten hours at a time on a Saturday. We

779
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 3: fight until two three in the morning with tracer units

780
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,879
Speaker 3: and all these night visions and thermal optics. I mean,

781
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:40,879
Speaker 3: what's a guy gonna do when he's got some adult money. Yeah,

782
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:42,919
Speaker 3: you know, you've worked your whole Yeah, it's like down

783
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:47,359
Speaker 3: full equipment. It is fun and it's a good way

784
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 3: to stay in the click with somebody or be in

785
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:53,560
Speaker 3: a community and be brought back into that. You know,

786
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:56,719
Speaker 3: there's a lot of guys like yourself that I, like

787
00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:59,520
Speaker 3: I said, twenty years of doing that scale of what

788
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 3: I've done here, and I just meet people who have

789
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:04,920
Speaker 3: a good time. And I've also lost people like you

790
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 3: have who've tried to reach out to me and say, rat,

791
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:08,799
Speaker 3: I'm not doing so good today, and I'm like, oh,

792
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:12,359
Speaker 3: you got this, you know, Zachary. And a couple days later,

793
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:14,759
Speaker 3: Zachary didn't have it no more, and I couldn't stop that,

794
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,719
Speaker 3: and I had to tell myself, you know, you know,

795
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:21,400
Speaker 3: freedom of choice. You have that right as a person

796
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:23,840
Speaker 3: to you know, put a tattoo on yourself, but you

797
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 3: don't have to put it on me. You have that

798
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:27,799
Speaker 3: right to, you know, do what you want to do.

799
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:29,560
Speaker 3: Drive a kind of card, but I don't have to

800
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:31,520
Speaker 3: drive the same thing. Freedom of choice. So if you

801
00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:34,120
Speaker 3: want to. If I tell somebody I love them and

802
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 3: I've expressed to them that many times, and like we

803
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 3: care about you and you mean things to me and

804
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,879
Speaker 3: you mean things to others, but they still choose their path.

805
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,239
Speaker 3: I can't stop that choice. I can only tell them

806
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 3: you're going to be loved and lost at the same time.

807
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:51,880
Speaker 1: So well that, I mean that opens up an issue

808
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 1: with veteran suicide, right because you've got all this awareness,

809
00:36:57,680 --> 00:36:59,840
Speaker 1: which is sometimes like too much because of.

810
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:01,479
Speaker 4: The I agree people are talking about.

811
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 1: But then if you don't talk about it, you can't

812
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 1: introduce solutions like.

813
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 3: Why didn't anybody ever talk about it? Right, Yeah, and

814
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 3: you're always talking about it. It's like damned if you do,

815
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 3: damned if you don't.

816
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 1: So it's this really tricky thing over the last thirteen

817
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,400
Speaker 1: years where you know, I want to acknowledge it. In

818
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,440
Speaker 1: the beginning, I did want to raise awareness, but as

819
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,440
Speaker 1: we get further along down the road, you know, as

820
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 1: I try to shift to solution, to programs, to all

821
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,000
Speaker 1: these like you know, the marketing, the branding, whatever, like,

822
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:33,840
Speaker 1: shift it more towards like community, faith are whatever. Right,

823
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:37,400
Speaker 1: I want to acknowledge the suicide, but focus on the solution.

824
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,759
Speaker 1: A lot of a lot of people don't like that.

825
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,239
Speaker 1: They want to keep hearing about the problem, you know.

826
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:48,320
Speaker 1: And so I'm constantly torn between talking about the problem

827
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:50,840
Speaker 1: but trying to get into the solution, not ruminating on

828
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:51,840
Speaker 1: the problem, you know.

829
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 4: And but it's it's it's well.

830
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 3: And the thing about the problem is that it's just

831
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:59,319
Speaker 3: a fraction of a moment in somebody's mind, like they

832
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 3: might have dwell on it. I'm not going to say

833
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:03,399
Speaker 3: that's not something someone hasn't thought about it, or they're

834
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 3: like totally saturating their mind with it and they're they're

835
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 3: gonna go along with it. I can't stop that, but

836
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,040
Speaker 3: you might be able to reach the person that's you know,

837
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:14,440
Speaker 3: I don't know. I guess my dad just told me

838
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 3: that if you had a half a second to think

839
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 3: about it before you did it, you wouldn't have done it.

840
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 3: He's like that, Aaron, He's like, you know, these guys

841
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 3: that might take themselves out in life suicide, if they

842
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:25,760
Speaker 3: had a half a second to stop pulling the trigger,

843
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 3: they would do it.

844
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 1: You've a mentor of mine said this. I didn't I

845
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:31,880
Speaker 1: didn't come up with this, but he said it. He said, Uh,

846
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,399
Speaker 1: there's the difference between wanting to kill yourself and not

847
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 1: wanting to live, right, So there's this little like separating

848
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:41,520
Speaker 1: the bone from the marrow. You know, there's some people

849
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 1: that don't want to live, and there's some people that

850
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 1: in an instant want to.

851
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 4: Take kill, you know, take their life. Yes, yeah, and uh.

852
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:50,720
Speaker 1: Some people can ruminate, ruminate, ruminate and like get weaker,

853
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 1: weak or weaker, and then others it's just like this

854
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:56,920
Speaker 1: rogue wave and it overwhelms them and they respond to

855
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:59,720
Speaker 1: it and all in between, everything in between.

856
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:01,879
Speaker 4: It's a strangely strange thing.

857
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 3: You know, I was never I guess as a young

858
00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:06,399
Speaker 3: man growing up, we seem like of the same era.

859
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:12,359
Speaker 3: I'm forty eight today. But you know, doctor Kavorkian was,

860
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:14,760
Speaker 3: you know, the doctor that would go around to patients

861
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 3: and he would record the situation so it was all

862
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:20,120
Speaker 3: on camera, and they were ridden with cancer or they

863
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:23,040
Speaker 3: had other ailments that were just like inabilitating, and they

864
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:26,680
Speaker 3: wanted to make the choice to exit this life with

865
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 3: a doctor, not some grotesque way, not some you know,

866
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,040
Speaker 3: I'm gonna leave this for my kids to find downstairs,

867
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:37,480
Speaker 3: swinging kind of thing. Okay, Like respectful, you take your

868
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:39,759
Speaker 3: dog to the vet, you have to sometimes put it down.

869
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:43,240
Speaker 3: I'm just saying I was okay with Jack Kavorkian being

870
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:46,240
Speaker 3: on call to do that for patients who chose that path,

871
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:48,680
Speaker 3: that's their choice. That's just me.

872
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:56,840
Speaker 1: Well there's another one, right, like being a libertine, free will, suffering,

873
00:39:57,080 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 1: reaching out. How much do you pursue somebody? What if

874
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:01,880
Speaker 1: they want to be left alone? What are their rights?

875
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,359
Speaker 1: What are your rights? What's you know? I mean, it's

876
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 1: a it's a difficult, another layered situation that forces us

877
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 1: to deal with our morals, our ethics, our values, real

878
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 1: time in crisis. And you know my solution to that

879
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,440
Speaker 1: is to build in a community an environment to you know,

880
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:23,080
Speaker 1: drop as many rocks in the water to elevate it

881
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:28,239
Speaker 1: where there's good positive added, positive people, positive programs, options,

882
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 1: and create an environment where that solution is less likely.

883
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 3: You know, I love what you have on your website.

884
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:38,719
Speaker 3: Let's see here. Let me just click on it real quick.

885
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 3: I think it's a crisis button. Like if you're in

886
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 3: crisis at Mission twenty two dot org, if you happen

887
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,279
Speaker 3: to be looking there and it triggers you to think

888
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:48,719
Speaker 3: maybe you are, you know, you could reach out and

889
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:52,399
Speaker 3: there's help right there at your website. Yeah.

890
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 1: I mean, like a lot of a lot of veteran

891
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:57,360
Speaker 1: organizations at VA, all that is you know, crisis, crisis, crisis.

892
00:40:58,400 --> 00:40:59,560
Speaker 4: I wish I didn't have.

893
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,320
Speaker 1: To have that stuff on there, but you know people

894
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:02,960
Speaker 1: always reach out like, hey, you need that on there

895
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 1: because we're not a crisis center.

896
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:07,359
Speaker 4: We're not a crisis organization. You know, we do long

897
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:11,600
Speaker 4: term programs for people with probably moderate PTSD, not even severe.

898
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:18,640
Speaker 1: And you know, you got moral injury, moderate PTSD, depression,

899
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:22,959
Speaker 1: you know, difficulty transitioning, looking for identity, purpose, like that's

900
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:26,799
Speaker 1: more Mission twenty two's niche. But you know, it's a

901
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 1: reality that there's a lot of people in crisis all

902
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 1: the time.

903
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:33,960
Speaker 3: You know what about that person that just feels guilty

904
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,560
Speaker 3: about things that they just dealt with. They're just guilty

905
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:40,600
Speaker 3: inside and something they thought they'd maybe replay over and

906
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,800
Speaker 3: over again, and they think like, I could have changed

907
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:44,600
Speaker 3: it if I've done this, I could have done this differently,

908
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 3: And they're just yeah, guilt, guilt stricken. You know, it's

909
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:50,080
Speaker 3: like there's and it wasn't their fault and they're just

910
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:54,759
Speaker 3: tormented by this situation. I I mean, there is snowboarding.

911
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:56,960
Speaker 3: You can go snowboarding and try to like forget about

912
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:58,719
Speaker 3: that and try to stay alive on a mountain while

913
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:00,879
Speaker 3: you're sliding it forty five an hour. You know, it's

914
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:03,080
Speaker 3: like like going into the cave and trying to make

915
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:05,479
Speaker 3: your leaf and then bringing it back to fruition, trying

916
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 3: to get rid of you know, that guilt and that demon.

917
00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 3: It's like going in and making the tank. I promise you.

918
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 3: You know, my buddy Ajax probably has a demon, okay,

919
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:16,760
Speaker 3: and he will he's working on his tank. It's it's

920
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 3: it's not it's not bothering him.

921
00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:21,640
Speaker 1: The visualization I had when I started Mission twenty two

922
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 1: and started these our projects is I kind of saw

923
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:28,360
Speaker 1: my life like a scale, but I'm in charge of

924
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 1: the little pebbles, and I committed that I'm just going

925
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:34,319
Speaker 1: to keep dropping little pebbles on the positive side until

926
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 1: that son of a bitch tips. Yes, you know, whether

927
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:41,200
Speaker 1: that's saying something nice, praying for somebody, being creative, saying

928
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:44,120
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, whatever it is, reading a book, saying yes

929
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:46,359
Speaker 1: instead of no, being willing to go to the you know,

930
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:50,359
Speaker 1: be willing, be humble and put in the effort, no

931
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:54,320
Speaker 1: matter how small, over time and stack that habit until

932
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:58,440
Speaker 1: that scale tips, and then now your life is surrounded

933
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 1: with good people, good food, good friends, things to do,

934
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:05,400
Speaker 1: things that are interesting, you know. And it doesn't happen overnight.

935
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 1: It wasn't like, oh, I went to the therapist, they

936
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 1: gave me a.

937
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:09,719
Speaker 4: Pill, and I'm all better now, like that, did you know?

938
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:11,840
Speaker 1: And it didn't happen because I made the leaf sculpture.

939
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:13,759
Speaker 1: It wasn't like, oh, yeah, I'm all better now.

940
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 3: It was consistency.

941
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I didn't even realize I'm how much better

942
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:19,839
Speaker 1: I'm getting until people around me are like, hey, man,

943
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 1: it's really fun that you were here, you know, or whatever.

944
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 4: But that's a time, you know, like at.

945
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:28,880
Speaker 1: First, yeah, that guy's fucking weird, you know. And so

946
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:32,400
Speaker 1: over time my whole landscape changed. But I was in

947
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,240
Speaker 1: charge of those little pebbles.

948
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 3: That's right, and you were gonna be damn dude, You're like,

949
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:38,239
Speaker 3: I was gonna tip this scale with all of my

950
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 3: pebbles and make me be me. You just took control,

951
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:43,520
Speaker 3: and I.

952
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,279
Speaker 1: Committed to the process. Yes, you know what I mean, Like,

953
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:47,439
Speaker 1: fuck it, what do I got to lose?

954
00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:48,799
Speaker 3: What do you have to lose.

955
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:50,920
Speaker 1: I don't have a job, I'm out of the military.

956
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,880
Speaker 1: No one gives a shit, you know, Like, what do

957
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 1: I got to lose?

958
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:55,239
Speaker 3: Fuck it.

959
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 4: I'm gonna make art. I'm gonna say what I want

960
00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:57,880
Speaker 4: to say, I'm gonna talk to.

961
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:02,600
Speaker 1: People, I'm gonna do things, and I'm just gonna practice

962
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 1: making these little decisions over and over and over again.

963
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:08,840
Speaker 3: And pretty metal, bro, I think you're pretty metal, is

964
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:10,359
Speaker 3: what I got to f and say, Dude, I think

965
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:12,480
Speaker 3: that's like metal, like metal to the core. When I

966
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 3: go through TSA and they're like, do you have all

967
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 3: your metal out except for my soul. You know what

968
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:19,359
Speaker 3: I'm saying. I'm like, that's gonna go off bbbb beat,

969
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 3: you know. So it's like you can never take that

970
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:23,240
Speaker 3: metal out of me, bro, And I feel so metal

971
00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 3: from you. Like I don't know what your dad played

972
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 3: or how you guys traveled or what he did in

973
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,319
Speaker 3: a band, but yeah, you know there's a little bit of.

974
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:32,840
Speaker 1: That's Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Hank Williams junior, you know,

975
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 1: and he kind of put a little rock and roll

976
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:35,360
Speaker 1: to it and played on the streets.

977
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 3: Man.

978
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 4: He had the big drum, he had to steal guitar.

979
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:39,360
Speaker 4: He was you know, he was a street musician.

980
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 1: But I love that now you just can't fucking give up,

981
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 1: no matter how much you're getting beat down, and like

982
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:49,720
Speaker 1: that's sometimes all you can do is continue, however little,

983
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 1: however much, and you just have to maintain that ardent

984
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:53,919
Speaker 1: face against it.

985
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 3: You know that that brings me to you wrote a

986
00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:01,359
Speaker 3: you have a book, right, am I correct? Thing it's

987
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:05,320
Speaker 3: called The Men We Make Yeah, correct, Yeah, it's right right, Okay,

988
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:07,759
Speaker 3: I'll look at that. So and it's cool and it's

989
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:10,480
Speaker 3: got some breakdown on the back about you and talks

990
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 3: about you know, your history of what you've done. But

991
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:16,719
Speaker 3: you know, how long ago did you decide that I

992
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:20,640
Speaker 3: need to now be an artist with the craft of words,

993
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 3: because that's what you've just done. Here again more art?

994
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 4: Well, Uh, okay.

995
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 1: When I turned eighteen, I read a book called Angela's Ashes.

996
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 1: You ever read it or heard about it?

997
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:34,359
Speaker 3: I haven't. No.

998
00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:37,439
Speaker 1: It's about an Irish guy and it's like coming of age.

999
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:40,840
Speaker 1: His dad's a drunk, they're poor. Long story short, he

1000
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 1: makes it to America, he becomes a teacher, and it's

1001
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:47,120
Speaker 1: a memoir. And I read it at eighteen, man, and

1002
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:49,759
Speaker 1: it grabbed me. I was like, wow, this this is

1003
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:52,880
Speaker 1: basically like my family's Welsh Scotch, you know.

1004
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 4: So there's a lot of things that kind of resonated

1005
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:56,440
Speaker 4: with me.

1006
00:45:57,440 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 1: And so I'd always thought, man, there was like this

1007
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:00,840
Speaker 1: piece of me is like, oh, you know, maybe I

1008
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:04,239
Speaker 1: could do that someday. You know, I could live or

1009
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:07,239
Speaker 1: I wanted work where I wanted no rules.

1010
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:11,280
Speaker 4: I could just write. And that's something I could do anywhere, anytime, anyplace.

1011
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:13,879
Speaker 4: And uh, over and over and.

1012
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:15,600
Speaker 1: Over I would try to write and it would suck.

1013
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:18,279
Speaker 1: I would try to do a story and it wasn't

1014
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:20,120
Speaker 1: that good. I would try to write something, it wasn't

1015
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:23,400
Speaker 1: that great. I can speak well, I can present, I

1016
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:27,279
Speaker 1: can talk, I can communicate with my words, but I can't.

1017
00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:30,439
Speaker 4: I couldn't write. I couldn't write fiction or right non,

1018
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:31,760
Speaker 4: I couldn't write a novel.

1019
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:32,920
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1020
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:34,840
Speaker 4: And I tried and tried and tried, and man, my

1021
00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:38,080
Speaker 4: wife every time was like, it's not very good. You know,

1022
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:39,040
Speaker 4: that's not very good.

1023
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 1: Like oh, and she'll tell you, you know, because if

1024
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:43,280
Speaker 1: you read, if you read the thing in the beginning

1025
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:44,200
Speaker 1: of the book.

1026
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 4: It's this is true, it says.

1027
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 3: Uh the forward.

1028
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:51,080
Speaker 4: Yeah to my wife, who didn't tell me my writing

1029
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 4: was good until it was.

1030
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:57,279
Speaker 1: And like everywhere of that is true, dude. And the

1031
00:46:57,280 --> 00:47:02,480
Speaker 1: economy sucks. America has been divided cod Facebook algorithms. It's

1032
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:05,959
Speaker 1: nasty out there, you know, even in the veteran world,

1033
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:08,719
Speaker 1: things are divisive, and everywhere you look like things are

1034
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 1: just kind of not what they used to be. I

1035
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:17,160
Speaker 1: was laying in bed, resentful better pissed off kind of

1036
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:20,359
Speaker 1: at myself, at America, at what I was doing. How

1037
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:22,560
Speaker 1: I felt like I wasn't gaining, like getting good traction

1038
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 1: on a lot of my efforts, and I'd like, here's

1039
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:28,080
Speaker 1: the guy the founder. Mission went too laying in bed

1040
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:30,399
Speaker 1: like off and on for like two days, like having

1041
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:33,279
Speaker 1: a pity party, Dude, having a pity party. Like fuck, dude,

1042
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:37,160
Speaker 1: everything I'm doing is falling apart. And then something kind

1043
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 1: of clicked to me where I was like, you know what,

1044
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:40,960
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna.

1045
00:47:40,680 --> 00:47:42,560
Speaker 4: Fucking do do it.

1046
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,279
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna write. I'm not going to write so

1047
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:47,799
Speaker 1: that it's people like it. I'm not going to write

1048
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:50,319
Speaker 1: a story I think people on the left or people

1049
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:53,480
Speaker 1: on the right, or veterans or anybody's gonna love. I'm

1050
00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:57,120
Speaker 1: just gonna write what I believe is not necessarily it's

1051
00:47:57,200 --> 00:48:01,640
Speaker 1: the book isn't true. But my I'm gonna write true.

1052
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna write from my heart. I'm gonna beat I'm

1053
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:07,920
Speaker 1: just gonna do it. No editor, watching the whole time,

1054
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:11,160
Speaker 1: critiquing myself as I'm trying to do it. And man,

1055
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:14,480
Speaker 1: after years and years and years of attempting, in about

1056
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:17,560
Speaker 1: four months, I was able to just go and then

1057
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:19,520
Speaker 1: I was, you know, we finished. I got it edited,

1058
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:22,759
Speaker 1: I got a bunch of help to you know, clean

1059
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:24,120
Speaker 1: it up, and now it's out.

1060
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:27,560
Speaker 3: It's out right now we can as of this podcast.

1061
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:28,400
Speaker 3: It's out right.

1062
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:31,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, it's it's It's a story of a boy.

1063
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 1: His name's Darren, and I tell the story twice in

1064
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:38,480
Speaker 1: one iteration of the story. His parents, his family are

1065
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 1: drug abusers, abusers, alcoholics, selfish.

1066
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:44,359
Speaker 4: Patty, greedy.

1067
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 1: And then I reimagine the story with the people the

1068
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:50,400
Speaker 1: same characters, but they have just a smidgeon of like

1069
00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:53,560
Speaker 1: love and effort. They're still the same people. They still

1070
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 1: kind of come from the same background. The differences is

1071
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:58,239
Speaker 1: whether or not they try. Do they try to fight

1072
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:00,719
Speaker 1: their demons, Do they try to be sober? Do they

1073
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:04,279
Speaker 1: try to be patient versus just being, you know, completely

1074
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:08,600
Speaker 1: self centered and devoid of love? And so, you know,

1075
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:12,200
Speaker 1: when you're shooting, if you're off where you know, if

1076
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 1: you're you're not dialed in, If you're off in the beginning,

1077
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:16,400
Speaker 1: you're going to be off by a lot by the

1078
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:18,120
Speaker 1: time you get out to target. So it's the same

1079
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:20,719
Speaker 1: thing with relationships and love and our efforts with the

1080
00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:22,879
Speaker 1: people in our lives. If you are not putting an

1081
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,840
Speaker 1: effort up front, by the time it impacts, it's going

1082
00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:27,680
Speaker 1: to be way off or it's going to hit center.

1083
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:31,480
Speaker 1: And so I wanted to show that through a novel.

1084
00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:35,000
Speaker 3: I love that. I love that, and it's called The

1085
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:38,120
Speaker 3: Men We Make Right by Magnus Johnson.

1086
00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right, So men We Make I mean, you know,

1087
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:44,600
Speaker 1: it's that old you know, nurture versus nature. A lot

1088
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:46,480
Speaker 1: of you know, there's a lot of negative talk about men,

1089
00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:49,319
Speaker 1: about toxic masculinity, about this by that, you know, but

1090
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:51,400
Speaker 1: I don't think that we really take into account our

1091
00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:53,799
Speaker 1: own our own lot, you know, our own effort, our

1092
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:59,239
Speaker 1: own our own responsibility for as a community, how we enrich, support,

1093
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:03,600
Speaker 1: lead mentor you know, young men that need it. Instead

1094
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:07,720
Speaker 1: we you know, we condemn them. You're too aggressive, You're.

1095
00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:12,000
Speaker 3: You're crying, Stop crying. Where they are? What are you doing? Yeah?

1096
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:15,879
Speaker 1: Either way, it's just like it's either over feminism, over feminized,

1097
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:17,840
Speaker 1: or like brutal masculine.

1098
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:19,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, and horrible.

1099
00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:23,400
Speaker 1: And I'm you know, hey, we got to cultivate and

1100
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 1: direct in shape, and we got to take responsibility for

1101
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:29,080
Speaker 1: the men in our community because they represent us, they

1102
00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 1: represent our future.

1103
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 3: And there is an epidemic you know, I talk with

1104
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 3: my wife and others, and there is an epidemic of

1105
00:50:35,560 --> 00:50:39,560
Speaker 3: male loneliness due to the Internet you know, they don't.

1106
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:42,000
Speaker 3: They don't. You're not getting outside. You're not going to

1107
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:44,239
Speaker 3: meet anybody at the dance club. When I grew up,

1108
00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:46,840
Speaker 3: we'd go to the club and like try to dance

1109
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 3: break dance to the Beastie Boys or whatever song was

1110
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:52,200
Speaker 3: on the you know, I'm just saying, And there's people

1111
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:54,319
Speaker 3: there and you can meet them. And so I find

1112
00:50:54,360 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 3: Airsoft to allow these young men twelve to ninety nine

1113
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 3: coming through my world and they're like Club Airsoft. I'm like,

1114
00:51:04,239 --> 00:51:06,080
Speaker 3: what's up, guys. They're like, hey, you're kind of a

1115
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:08,279
Speaker 3: beacon rat, and I'm like, am I Am I a

1116
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:10,560
Speaker 3: lighthouse for you. We'll come fight with us. Then, right,

1117
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:12,319
Speaker 3: you got to get some ammo though there's Ammo on

1118
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:14,359
Speaker 3: the shelf. Bring that to the cash register. I'll see

1119
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:16,200
Speaker 3: you out in the battle. But again, they know me

1120
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:18,279
Speaker 3: out in the battle as being the same person. I

1121
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:21,680
Speaker 3: only sell the stuff because I like to keep the

1122
00:51:21,719 --> 00:51:25,400
Speaker 3: sport going, you know, because it makes me happy to

1123
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 3: see people happy. So therefore I'm like, well, I need

1124
00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:30,240
Speaker 3: to supply it. I grew up in a Green Beret

1125
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:32,640
Speaker 3: armory my whole life as a little kid, with all

1126
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:35,279
Speaker 3: of this stuff. My Dad's like sorry, I introduced it

1127
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:39,439
Speaker 3: to you so young. I was like, I love it, Dad,

1128
00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:42,560
Speaker 3: why And he's like, that's why, and I'm like, oh, Dad,

1129
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:45,760
Speaker 3: don't be so smart. But again he loves the idea

1130
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:49,000
Speaker 3: of what we were doing before he passed. And again,

1131
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:50,759
Speaker 3: right now, when you go up to my arena in

1132
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:54,000
Speaker 3: Leyton and you pay twenty dollars for a four hour session,

1133
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:58,160
Speaker 3: you're getting five bucks an hour to be around instructors

1134
00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:00,879
Speaker 3: that I've and my team have put together to run

1135
00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:04,560
Speaker 3: the games in there. For this fifteen, eighteen, twenty two

1136
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:07,279
Speaker 3: year old who maybe gets out of school at three

1137
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:09,960
Speaker 3: o'clock needs to do something that come in there, I'm like, fine,

1138
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:11,640
Speaker 3: daycare for less than five bucks an hour.

1139
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, dude, I mean like people aren't outside much.

1140
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:18,520
Speaker 1: Most of the time is spent on a device or

1141
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:22,919
Speaker 1: a screen. Cen's testosterone levels today like a twenty year old.

1142
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:26,520
Speaker 1: The average testosteral level of twenty year old today is

1143
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:31,560
Speaker 1: less than a six year old from the nineteen sixties. Culturally,

1144
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:35,759
Speaker 1: there's these like big division where it's either men are

1145
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:38,920
Speaker 1: horrible or men gotta be uh, you know, and so

1146
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:42,080
Speaker 1: it's like harder and harder for them to find mentorship

1147
00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:44,680
Speaker 1: in a direction it's supportive and has the feminine and

1148
00:52:44,719 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 1: the masculine right, and they're getting blamed for everything.

1149
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:51,600
Speaker 4: That's not entirely true. And like men's men are doing

1150
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:53,000
Speaker 4: not as well in school.

1151
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:58,120
Speaker 1: Death of despair, which means like drug overdose, alcohol suicide.

1152
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:01,799
Speaker 1: It's a very big and problems and I believe it's

1153
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:05,080
Speaker 1: started in the veteran community first. And it's like, you know,

1154
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:07,120
Speaker 1: the veterans are kind of the canary and the coal mine,

1155
00:53:07,239 --> 00:53:10,760
Speaker 1: so to speak, this big issue that's now starting to appear,

1156
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:15,920
Speaker 1: you know, everywhere at large. Yeah, and so that's not

1157
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:18,160
Speaker 1: why I wrote the book, per se, but that's kind

1158
00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:20,960
Speaker 1: of what came out in the book adjacently to me,

1159
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:22,200
Speaker 1: just trying to tell a good story.

1160
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,799
Speaker 3: Well, I love that. I love you for taking time

1161
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:28,400
Speaker 3: to be on my show today and bring some really

1162
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:33,080
Speaker 3: cool calm demeanor and some Green Beret love and ussf Airborne.

1163
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:37,200
Speaker 3: You know, you're so cool. Bro. Anytime I see a

1164
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:39,280
Speaker 3: guy dressed up with a blue cord on their shoulder,

1165
00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:41,560
Speaker 3: I just think of my dad, you know. And so

1166
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:45,359
Speaker 3: it's just how it goes. And you guys represent what

1167
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:47,920
Speaker 3: I feel to be the best, you know, and the

1168
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 3: best in all things, whether it was my baseball coach

1169
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:52,799
Speaker 3: was a Green Beret, or my dad's medic that showed

1170
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:54,319
Speaker 3: up to the house that day when he had a

1171
00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:57,440
Speaker 3: seizure was his own unit guy working in the city

1172
00:53:57,640 --> 00:54:00,440
Speaker 3: as the medic. You know, you just don't know who

1173
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:02,560
Speaker 3: these guys are because they're your next door neighbor. You're

1174
00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:05,480
Speaker 3: you're just a You're a father, you know. I'm just

1175
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:07,920
Speaker 3: I'm just saying. Most guys are like a father. They

1176
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:11,520
Speaker 3: have you know, coaching going on, they have school pta

1177
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:14,279
Speaker 3: to still try to attend to all while maintaining this

1178
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:19,919
Speaker 3: dale pressol leiever mindset for freeing the oppressed that they're

1179
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:23,840
Speaker 3: tasked with being involved with. And you guys are just

1180
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:25,480
Speaker 3: just the best of the best. And I love you,

1181
00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:26,920
Speaker 3: I love you, I appreciate you.

1182
00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:28,880
Speaker 1: Well, dude, it was a super honor to be on

1183
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:30,399
Speaker 1: your It was a big honor to beyond your show.

1184
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:31,400
Speaker 4: Love your energy.

1185
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:31,799
Speaker 3: Man.

1186
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:33,920
Speaker 4: You know you're making me smile.

1187
00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:37,799
Speaker 3: You know, Oh that's great. I love that, dude.

1188
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:38,239
Speaker 4: It was good.

1189
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 1: Man. It was a good experience. And I really, you know,

1190
00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 1: I didn't I should have known about the book club.

1191
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:45,200
Speaker 1: I hope people do that, man.

1192
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:47,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Well, The thing is is what we'll do

1193
00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:49,480
Speaker 3: is we'll talk to guy who's my main editor at

1194
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:52,000
Speaker 3: soft Rep, and then they all get behind the scenes

1195
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:54,279
Speaker 3: and figure out the book club. I'll just say, a guy,

1196
00:54:54,680 --> 00:54:56,880
Speaker 3: let's just try to slide your book into the book club.

1197
00:54:57,120 --> 00:54:59,400
Speaker 3: And then the people that are already you know, our

1198
00:54:59,719 --> 00:55:01,520
Speaker 3: viewer that are in the book club, they can just

1199
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:02,400
Speaker 3: choose it and read it.

1200
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:05,760
Speaker 1: That'd be so awesome, because like what we were talking about,

1201
00:55:05,920 --> 00:55:07,239
Speaker 1: and I don't know if you got to go, if

1202
00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:08,160
Speaker 1: you got to go, will stop?

1203
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:09,160
Speaker 3: Oh no, please please?

1204
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:11,160
Speaker 1: You know, when I try to get an agent, man,

1205
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:16,640
Speaker 1: most of them are looking for feminists, you know, all

1206
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:19,920
Speaker 1: these other talks like it's not exactly an easy time

1207
00:55:20,840 --> 00:55:24,359
Speaker 1: for guy like me to publish a novel, and I

1208
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:26,000
Speaker 1: it was a lot of headwind with a lot of

1209
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:30,880
Speaker 1: different kind of gender politics, all this stuff. And I

1210
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:33,120
Speaker 1: went ahead anyway, man, And you know, because I've always

1211
00:55:33,120 --> 00:55:35,799
Speaker 1: had to believe in my creative effort and if it's good,

1212
00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:36,360
Speaker 1: it'll stand.

1213
00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:37,320
Speaker 4: If it's not, it won't.

1214
00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:40,080
Speaker 1: And so you guys taking the time to talk to

1215
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:42,239
Speaker 1: me about it, to look into it, it means a lot.

1216
00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:43,560
Speaker 4: And I really appreciate it.

1217
00:55:44,200 --> 00:55:46,120
Speaker 3: Well, I would love to exploit your book and put

1218
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:48,799
Speaker 3: it out there for everybody to hear and or to read.

1219
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:51,280
Speaker 3: And you know, and you should maybe do an audible

1220
00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:53,520
Speaker 3: if you haven't already with you doing the words you

1221
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:55,960
Speaker 3: reading it, it would make just so much more of a

1222
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:59,520
Speaker 3: passion piece to come from you, you know, because you

1223
00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:03,640
Speaker 3: wrote it. And I've read I'm a I've read novels.

1224
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:06,359
Speaker 3: I'm a character, you know, I'm Chief Finn and all

1225
00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:09,080
Speaker 3: the Steel series from Brandon Webb and all these different

1226
00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:12,160
Speaker 3: books that he does. I understand reading eight hundred pages,

1227
00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:16,160
Speaker 3: okay over three days. It's intense. But I think that

1228
00:56:16,239 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 3: you should do it because you just would make that

1229
00:56:18,280 --> 00:56:20,839
Speaker 3: a great It would cross over so well to listen

1230
00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:22,600
Speaker 3: to you talk about it. Read your book, you know,

1231
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:27,200
Speaker 3: I'll you already said you're good at talking. You said

1232
00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:29,279
Speaker 3: good at speaking. I don't know.

1233
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:32,279
Speaker 4: Have you done research on It's harder than you think

1234
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:33,640
Speaker 4: to do a book.

1235
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:39,719
Speaker 3: I've done it, That's what I was saying, you voice, yes, yes, no,

1236
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:45,040
Speaker 3: maybe you I tell you what you know. I read

1237
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:51,200
Speaker 3: these thick books for Brandon Webb. He's our creator here. Yeah, yeah, no, no,

1238
00:56:51,320 --> 00:56:53,880
Speaker 3: his character is Chief Finn in all of his novels.

1239
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:57,480
Speaker 3: I am the voice of all of the characters in

1240
00:56:57,520 --> 00:56:59,800
Speaker 3: the book because I have to read the entire book,

1241
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:03,120
Speaker 3: you know, and yeah, yeah, yeah, And I'm also Chief Finn,

1242
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:05,400
Speaker 3: so all these different characters have to come to life,

1243
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:08,000
Speaker 3: you know. No, it's fun and that's a good way

1244
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:09,400
Speaker 3: because a lot of us can listen, you know what

1245
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:11,239
Speaker 3: I mean. They have their air plot in you know,

1246
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:14,399
Speaker 3: they're driving in their truck across country. I get guys

1247
00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:16,120
Speaker 3: all the time that reach out to me. Hey, man,

1248
00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:18,720
Speaker 3: I'm doing the long haul and your podcast gets me through.

1249
00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:21,200
Speaker 3: Wait till they listen to this one. Okay, big trucker

1250
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:23,160
Speaker 3: out there, listen to this podcast.

1251
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:24,760
Speaker 1: Dude, if you like, if you liked the novel, no,

1252
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 1: you know, if you don't, that's fine, But if you do, man, like,

1253
00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:31,120
Speaker 1: let me know, because that's a that's a tall order

1254
00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:33,240
Speaker 1: for me to do another skill. Well, I'm trying to

1255
00:57:33,240 --> 00:57:34,680
Speaker 1: write my second book, and so I don't know if

1256
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:37,560
Speaker 1: I can add another one to an audible to the plate.

1257
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:40,120
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you just let me know. And you just

1258
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:41,560
Speaker 3: got to get a guy that will record you for

1259
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:43,840
Speaker 3: three days in his studio and he'll be stoked to

1260
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:46,560
Speaker 3: meet you and help you read this and get a paycheck.

1261
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:49,600
Speaker 3: Am I getting paid? I got all this equipment. You know,

1262
00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:52,640
Speaker 3: the artist the art of playing in the band is

1263
00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:54,880
Speaker 3: you spend like five thousand dollars on a base, amp

1264
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:56,520
Speaker 3: and a bass and a car to fit it all.

1265
00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:58,760
Speaker 3: You have to get a minivan and then all this stuff,

1266
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:00,440
Speaker 3: and then the drummer wants to play this stuff in

1267
00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:03,040
Speaker 3: there with you all to play a fifty dollars gig.

1268
00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:06,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, but that's the price, dude, that's the price.

1269
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:08,120
Speaker 3: Bro. You want to bring it to life. You want

1270
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:09,720
Speaker 3: to sit there and do that. You know I'm playing

1271
00:58:09,800 --> 00:58:11,160
Speaker 3: high for you. Here you go. I'll play a little

1272
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:13,160
Speaker 3: higher like this on the base. I don't know. You

1273
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:15,160
Speaker 3: just feel like a rocker, dude, So I just want

1274
00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 3: you to keep on rocking.

1275
00:58:16,640 --> 00:58:18,480
Speaker 1: I appreciate man, I had a great time. I really

1276
00:58:18,520 --> 00:58:19,959
Speaker 1: appreciate you having me on the show.

1277
00:58:20,480 --> 00:58:23,440
Speaker 3: Well, thank you, and we'll dissertate down below. My guy Callum,

1278
00:58:23,560 --> 00:58:25,680
Speaker 3: he listens to the show blindly and then he'll write

1279
00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:27,680
Speaker 3: up what he says the show is about. I'd love

1280
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:29,480
Speaker 3: to see it because I'm like, oh, what does he

1281
00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:33,880
Speaker 3: think the show's about today? So he'll write it out.

1282
00:58:33,920 --> 00:58:35,440
Speaker 3: He'll say, Hey, this is what it's all about. So

1283
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:38,040
Speaker 3: if you look at all of the photos and the

1284
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:41,800
Speaker 3: dissertations below with the links, that's my guy, Callum. Thanks Callum.

1285
00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:44,240
Speaker 3: I appreciate you behind the scenes producing us, and you know,

1286
00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:46,960
Speaker 3: and to Brandon Webb and everybody out there that believe

1287
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:49,200
Speaker 3: in me to run the show and having guests like

1288
00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:51,440
Speaker 3: you reach out and like locking it in quick and

1289
00:58:51,480 --> 00:58:54,000
Speaker 3: just rolling with it, I appreciate you. And if you

1290
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:55,520
Speaker 3: ever want to be back on the show and talk

1291
00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:58,640
Speaker 3: about anything else, so much more. I'm sure that we

1292
00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:02,400
Speaker 3: could crack into besides just introducing you to the audience. Right, Really,

1293
00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:04,960
Speaker 3: we just talked a little bit about that, So please

1294
00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:07,400
Speaker 3: feel free to say this is your first time on,

1295
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:09,400
Speaker 3: but there's more times that you're welcome back. You're a

1296
00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:11,680
Speaker 3: good spirit. I love to see you smile. I love

1297
00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:13,800
Speaker 3: if I can make you smile. Then you know, that's

1298
00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:16,520
Speaker 3: a good photo right there for you know, for your

1299
00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:23,040
Speaker 3: wife to see you smile. All right, Yeah, oh yeah, bro,

1300
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:25,880
Speaker 3: Thanks to her too for being awesome and kicking your

1301
00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:28,720
Speaker 3: button and being there and being your beacon. I'm sure

1302
00:59:28,720 --> 00:59:31,200
Speaker 3: of it, dude, because my wife is mine and women

1303
00:59:31,280 --> 00:59:34,120
Speaker 3: in stem okay.

1304
00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:37,920
Speaker 4: Do my wife is mensa, bro, oh yeah she is.

1305
00:59:38,640 --> 00:59:40,200
Speaker 4: I love barely hanging on.

1306
00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:45,960
Speaker 3: The hot ones. Always love rock stars. Bro. Okay, I'm

1307
00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:47,880
Speaker 3: just gonna tell you right now. And they were like,

1308
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:50,160
Speaker 3: what is it. I love you, babe, I love you

1309
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:53,160
Speaker 3: so much. That's all I can say to mine. So well,

1310
00:59:53,200 --> 00:59:55,080
Speaker 3: thanks again, and I guess i'll wind down our show.

1311
00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:56,800
Speaker 3: I've had you for about an hour. You've been a

1312
00:59:56,800 --> 00:59:59,320
Speaker 3: wonderful guest, a great spirit on the show. Thanks for

1313
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:01,560
Speaker 3: doing all you done for our country and in a

1314
01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:04,160
Speaker 3: selfless way and being a Green Beret and the best

1315
01:00:04,160 --> 01:00:07,440
Speaker 3: of the best airborne with honors and boom dude. You

1316
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:10,000
Speaker 3: get that from me. And thanks again for being on

1317
01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:13,400
Speaker 3: the show. Thank you all right, And so my fans

1318
01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:16,840
Speaker 3: out there, listeners, go check out Mission twenty two dot

1319
01:00:16,960 --> 01:00:20,280
Speaker 3: org and go check out the book The Men We

1320
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:23,919
Speaker 3: Make buy Magnus Johnson and please leave a review where

1321
01:00:23,920 --> 01:00:25,920
Speaker 3: you buy it. So if you're on Amazon and you're

1322
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:28,200
Speaker 3: buying it there, leave a review, okay. And if you

1323
01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:30,560
Speaker 3: buy that Barnes and Noble wherever it's at, leave him

1324
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:32,760
Speaker 3: a review. And if you want to reach out through

1325
01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:36,320
Speaker 3: Mission twenty two to see if there's a space for you,

1326
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:38,680
Speaker 3: probably to help him in his mission. I'm sure that's

1327
01:00:38,920 --> 01:00:41,960
Speaker 3: a welcome you email, so feel free to reach out

1328
01:00:42,280 --> 01:00:45,280
Speaker 3: through your email to mission twenty two dot org. Hit

1329
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:48,360
Speaker 3: up Magnus and his team. It's an elite team. If

1330
01:00:48,400 --> 01:00:50,680
Speaker 3: you go look at everybody it's involved on your website.

1331
01:00:50,760 --> 01:00:52,600
Speaker 3: They've all got something that they bring to the table.

1332
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:54,800
Speaker 3: And that's what makes a great team is a good

1333
01:00:54,800 --> 01:00:57,080
Speaker 3: manager has a great team that makes them look smart.

1334
01:00:57,240 --> 01:01:02,840
Speaker 3: So good job looking smart. And this is rad On

1335
01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:05,480
Speaker 3: behalf of everybody at soft rep and the merch store.

1336
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:25,080
Speaker 5: Say in peace, you've been listening to self rep Radia.

1337
01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:26,080
Speaker 1: Yeah,