1 00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:06,440 Speaker 1: Yes, I've been cheated on, but I also have cheated 2 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:08,879 Speaker 1: before you, guys, and it's something that I'm not proud of, 3 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: and it definitely ruined the relationship. If I look back now, 4 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:19,079 Speaker 1: everything that I've learned, how I've matured, there's absolutely no 5 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,200 Speaker 1: way on earth that I would deal with half of 6 00:00:21,239 --> 00:00:23,800 Speaker 1: the things I dealt with in that relationship. I'm not 7 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:26,759 Speaker 1: going to tell you that if your partner cheated or 8 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 1: you're cheated, the relationship is broken forever. It's going to 9 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 1: take a lot of work, though, and you have to 10 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 1: forgive and try to forget. Hello everyone, Happy Monday. Today 11 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:44,239 Speaker 1: is actually the last Monday in the month of June, 12 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,840 Speaker 1: and that means we're pretty much halfway through the year. 13 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,840 Speaker 1: I hope you're all doing great and counting your blessings 14 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,920 Speaker 1: if you didn't know, that's something I do every single morning, 15 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 1: and I recommend you guys do it too. We have 16 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:57,800 Speaker 1: a pretty interesting episode in store for you today. It's 17 00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:01,760 Speaker 1: all about cheating in relationship. So let's get into it 18 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:05,080 Speaker 1: and do the damn thing. This is Cheeky's and chill 19 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 1: all right, guys, So let's talk about cheating. It's obviously 20 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,119 Speaker 1: a major form of betrayal. When you cheat on someone 21 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 1: you supposedly care about, you're violating their trust. I don't 22 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 1: know if you guys know, but I've been cheated on 23 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 1: in the past. It's something I've talked about briefly in 24 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,240 Speaker 1: a recent interview, and I want to talk about it 25 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,039 Speaker 1: more here on my podcast because this is where I 26 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:35,240 Speaker 1: feel safe. So Wow, Like I said, cheating is definitely 27 00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:39,080 Speaker 1: a form of betrayal. It is disrespectful. Obviously, there are 28 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:43,080 Speaker 1: people that feel that texting someone that you shouldn't be 29 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:48,360 Speaker 1: texting is cheating, Flirting is cheating. Basically, anything that you 30 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 1: wouldn't want your partner to do you should not be doing. 31 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 1: And I completely agree with that. And I'm going to 32 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 1: start off by first saying that, yes, I've been cheated on, 33 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:00,840 Speaker 1: but I also have cheated before you guys, and it's 34 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:04,760 Speaker 1: something that I'm not proud of. I was young and 35 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:09,560 Speaker 1: it definitely ruined the relationship. So let me go back. So, 36 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,800 Speaker 1: the first time I was cheated on that I knew of, 37 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,840 Speaker 1: that I found out was with my very first boyfriend, 38 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 1: my formal boyfriend, the one that I think I talked 39 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,440 Speaker 1: about a little bit here on one of the episodes. 40 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 1: I was basically nineteen when I met him. We lasted 41 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:31,160 Speaker 1: like four years. We were engaged. We were going to 42 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:35,079 Speaker 1: get married in December, I believe of like two thousand 43 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:38,519 Speaker 1: and six. Oh my gosh, yeah, it was December, December sixteenth, 44 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:43,160 Speaker 1: two thousand and six. I remember precisely. So a lot happened. 45 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,160 Speaker 1: I'm telling you. I was young, I was very attached 46 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 1: to my siblings, I was attached to my mom. I 47 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 1: was afraid of marriage. Basically, I woke up one day 48 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,639 Speaker 1: and I said, I don't want to get married. I 49 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 1: told him on a Wednesday, I'll never forget A month 50 00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:01,760 Speaker 1: before getting married, we had the location, we had the honeymoon, 51 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 1: I was getting my dress made, and I just woke 52 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 1: up one dan I said, I can't marry you. Like 53 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 1: I'm not ready. I still want to be with you, 54 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 1: but I'm not ready to get married. Of course, he 55 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 1: was devastated, he was heartbroken. He was just like, how 56 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,840 Speaker 1: can you do this to me? Which I completely understand. 57 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,640 Speaker 1: I was just afraid. I was afraid to leave the nest. 58 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:20,360 Speaker 1: I was afraid of not being there for my siblings, 59 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 1: for my mom. And although my mom loved him and 60 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,240 Speaker 1: said he can move in with us. Obviously he didn't 61 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:27,120 Speaker 1: want that. He's like, no, we need to have our 62 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:30,680 Speaker 1: own home. But I was just very attached, and that 63 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: I think was the first big thing in our relationship. 64 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: He started acting different, and of course I got attention 65 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 1: from someone else and I kissed him. Here's the thing 66 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,080 Speaker 1: he never found out about that. I don't know if 67 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,680 Speaker 1: he listens to this podcast. Maybe his because I'm really 68 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:50,760 Speaker 1: cool with his wife now they have three boys, he's 69 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: happily married. I'm very happy for him. Her and I 70 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 1: are cool, so I'm sure she listens to it. I think. 71 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 1: So now he's gonna know, but he doesn't know. And 72 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,440 Speaker 1: the reason I'm saying is because I don't want to 73 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 1: talk about being cheated on and not first saying that 74 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: I have also felt in this area. And anyways, I 75 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,560 Speaker 1: got some attention. He was acting weird, as he should 76 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 1: because I had just broken his heart and I just 77 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:16,039 Speaker 1: canceled our engagement, our wedding. I called it off, and 78 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 1: he just wasn't being the same. And I got attention 79 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 1: from someone. I went out to like a nightclub with 80 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 1: my friends, and he was a very cute guy. He 81 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:25,480 Speaker 1: was a lot older than me, a lot older than him, 82 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 1: and I don't know. I just I liked him. There 83 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 1: was something about him. He flirted with me, and he 84 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 1: gave me some attention. We kissed and nothing went further 85 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:36,279 Speaker 1: than that, but we did kiss, and that's still cheating, 86 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:40,200 Speaker 1: you guys, even flirting. I was wrong, And again he 87 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: didn't find out, but then he continued to act weird, 88 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 1: and I found out that he had also gone out 89 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: and met this girl at like I think I was 90 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,800 Speaker 1: working or something. I don't remember exactly why I wasn't 91 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 1: with him that night, but I didn't go, and he 92 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:57,680 Speaker 1: went out and there was a very pretty girl. She 93 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:01,560 Speaker 1: had black hair with green eyes, and I think I 94 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 1: looked through his phone or something, and he was texting 95 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 1: this Girl'll never forget because we were baptizing his sister's son, 96 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 1: who's still my godson. I love their family very much, 97 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,839 Speaker 1: and he was like on his phone and I'm like, 98 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:17,200 Speaker 1: he's been so weird, like ever since we called off 99 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,560 Speaker 1: the engagement. He was acting very very different, and he 100 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:23,320 Speaker 1: was just like, not like it seemed like at all 101 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 1: into me. I felt like he was a little disgusted. 102 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: He was just very disappointed. But then I never will 103 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 1: forget that he was just on his phone the entire 104 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,039 Speaker 1: time at the party, like the family was there, everything, 105 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: and he was just in a corner texting. So I 106 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 1: looked through his phone, and sure enough, he was talking 107 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,839 Speaker 1: to a girl, and I got her number, and of 108 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:42,480 Speaker 1: course I called her and I spoke to her, and 109 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 1: I was devastated. Mind you, I knew what I had done, 110 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:47,680 Speaker 1: but we were, I guess, doing the same thing at 111 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:51,160 Speaker 1: the same time, which means a relationship was over obviously, 112 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:53,800 Speaker 1: and he had just met her, I think, like two 113 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,000 Speaker 1: weeks ago, and she told me, Oh my god, I 114 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,479 Speaker 1: had no idea he had a girlfriend. He told me 115 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 1: he was single. He told me that he had just 116 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: broken up with his girl friend. But the thing is 117 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:07,279 Speaker 1: her friend, I guess knew who he was. Had noticed 118 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:10,240 Speaker 1: him from, like I don't know where, but this friend 119 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:12,839 Speaker 1: of hers knew that he worked with my mom and 120 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,279 Speaker 1: that he was my boyfriend. So I think she knew. 121 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:17,520 Speaker 1: I don't know if she was lying, but lagosay escape 122 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,279 Speaker 1: they were talking. She said that they had only kissed, 123 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 1: they hadn't had sex. They had only been two weeks 124 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,839 Speaker 1: that they had been talking. And apparently he's like, I 125 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,160 Speaker 1: could see myself marrying you. I could see myself having 126 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 1: kids with you, this and this and that, and then 127 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 1: she was at first really cool when I spoke to her, 128 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:37,279 Speaker 1: and then she became a bitch. I was like, what 129 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 1: the hell. Of course I was devastated. Of course I 130 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:44,039 Speaker 1: told him off. I was just like, how could you 131 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,479 Speaker 1: do this to me? This entire time, you guys, I 132 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 1: was being hypocrite because I knew what I had done. 133 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 1: Obviously I didn't tell him, but of course either way, 134 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,559 Speaker 1: I was hurt. I was just like, I can't believe 135 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 1: you do this to me. I never in a million 136 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 1: years thought that he would do that to me. He 137 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:02,560 Speaker 1: bought her flowers, he took her in our car. She's like, 138 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,680 Speaker 1: oh yeah, I was in his car and his BMW 139 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:08,200 Speaker 1: and your guys' initials are on the headrest, and I'm like, 140 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:10,400 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, she's not lying. So she told me 141 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:13,520 Speaker 1: all these details. I was obsessed with her. She was 142 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:18,280 Speaker 1: a beautiful girl, like o rosberes Belo Negro, like completely 143 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,680 Speaker 1: different from me. I have green eyes, but they're a 144 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,560 Speaker 1: little bit like hers were like green green. So I 145 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: was just like obsessed. I was like, oh my god. 146 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 1: So of course we broke up for a little bit. 147 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 1: He begged me, and I just it was never the same. 148 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 1: It was never the same. The relationship was over when 149 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,000 Speaker 1: him and I. I think him and I were actually I 150 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 1: think I had just done the same thing, like maybe 151 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 1: like a month before, you know what I mean. So 152 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,480 Speaker 1: it's like we were both, like I think, just trying 153 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 1: to make it work because we were comfortable. But I 154 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 1: guess it was just over anyways. I forgave him, and 155 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 1: I told myself, I'm going to make them fall in 156 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 1: love with me even more and I'm gonna let him 157 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 1: go when I'm ready. And that's not the right thing, 158 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,480 Speaker 1: but I'm I was younger, and I'm admitting to it 159 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 1: because I've learned so much from that situation that I 160 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,200 Speaker 1: feel like I ruined something good. And I've told you 161 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,240 Speaker 1: guys this before. He was a really great guy. He 162 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,680 Speaker 1: is a great guy. I love his family. I still 163 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:15,840 Speaker 1: have communication with Michael Madre, her little boy. That's not 164 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:17,800 Speaker 1: a little boy anymore. He's like sixteen years old now. 165 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:21,840 Speaker 1: And you know, I learned from that situation. It a'm 166 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,240 Speaker 1: maze golicia maza da sid Okay, you cheated on me. 167 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna make you fall in love with me. And 168 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,760 Speaker 1: then I'm gonna leave you. I never felt the same 169 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 1: after that, and I basically broke up with him. I 170 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 1: think we lasted maybe like a couple months. It just 171 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:39,120 Speaker 1: didn't work out because it wasn't the same, and quite frankly, 172 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,640 Speaker 1: I was having feelings for this other person. I had 173 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,200 Speaker 1: stopped talking to him after I was like, no, this 174 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,720 Speaker 1: is it right. But then once we broke up him 175 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,400 Speaker 1: and I started talking again, he was no good for me, 176 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,560 Speaker 1: that other dude at all. I met him at a club. Okay, 177 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,400 Speaker 1: he was like a bouncer at a club. It's just 178 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,760 Speaker 1: it was not good. I needed to learn my lesson. 179 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,880 Speaker 1: So I feel like I lost something good. And it 180 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 1: was because I was young, because I was too attached 181 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:04,280 Speaker 1: to my family, and I'll never forget he told me, 182 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,760 Speaker 1: you give so much for your family that one day. 183 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 1: This is what he said, word for word he said, 184 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 1: and I was like, no, that's never going to happen. 185 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,200 Speaker 1: Like I'm going to always be there for my mom, 186 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 1: always going to be there for my siblings. And basically 187 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:22,840 Speaker 1: that relationship ended. Him and I tried maybe like a 188 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:25,480 Speaker 1: couple of years after, and it just didn't work. It's 189 00:09:25,559 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 1: just once you break that glass and that trust. You guys, 190 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 1: just it's never the same. And now he's happy and 191 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:33,840 Speaker 1: everything happens for a reason, and I'm happy for him. 192 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,600 Speaker 1: And I learned myself that I don't ever want to 193 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 1: treat someone that way because I was so focused on 194 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 1: my siblings, on my mom, that I was not giving 195 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 1: my relationship the place that it required, the place that 196 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 1: it deserved. And I learned because there were times on 197 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:53,320 Speaker 1: him and I were on our way to a date 198 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 1: and we had things planned and my mom would call 199 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:56,160 Speaker 1: me or one of the kids and I would just 200 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,920 Speaker 1: like drop it just to go, you know, to go 201 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 1: help my mom or whatever. And because I felt for 202 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,240 Speaker 1: a long time that's what I had to do, you 203 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:06,080 Speaker 1: know what I mean. But I also always left him like, 204 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 1: well where do I stand? You know, when he was 205 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 1: a good guy, he was loving to me, he was respectful. 206 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:15,640 Speaker 1: I was just afraid, and I also did things that 207 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 1: I think karma came back and bit me in the ass. 208 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 1: So that's what happened with the first time I found 209 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,640 Speaker 1: out that they cheated on me, and that was tough. 210 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 1: And from there I was like, Okay, I'm going to 211 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:32,000 Speaker 1: make sure that in every relationship I am if we 212 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 1: break up. It's going to be because of them, not 213 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,160 Speaker 1: because of me. I'm going to do what I can, 214 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,559 Speaker 1: and I'm going to be good and I'm going to 215 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:47,440 Speaker 1: be respectful. And then I met someone else, and he 216 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:58,319 Speaker 1: also cheated on me. So a few years go by, 217 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 1: I meet someone else. I was with him for about 218 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 1: four years and a half. I was determined to make 219 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:08,680 Speaker 1: the relationship work for many, many, many reasons. If you 220 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,440 Speaker 1: guys want to know you, guys can read both of 221 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:14,080 Speaker 1: my books. I mention it in perdon Or Forgiveness and 222 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,880 Speaker 1: in Unstoppable. So I talk about a little bit more 223 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,120 Speaker 1: in Debt. But anyways, I was determined to make that 224 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,920 Speaker 1: relationship work. I was going to be the best girlfriend ever. 225 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:25,559 Speaker 1: I was not going to cheat. I was afraid of 226 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,680 Speaker 1: what could come around and bite me in the ass. 227 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:30,760 Speaker 1: Like I had ruined that first relationship. I feel like 228 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,120 Speaker 1: I ruined it. Anyways, he also did his thing. You know, 229 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:35,719 Speaker 1: it wasn't right what he did, but I take responsibility 230 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,520 Speaker 1: for my part. And I was also afraid of him. 231 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:39,720 Speaker 1: I thought, oh my gosh, this guy. I don't know 232 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,160 Speaker 1: what he could do, you know what I mean. So 233 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 1: I was faithful. I gave my everything to the relationship. 234 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 1: I wanted it to work because my mom did not 235 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 1: approve of that relationship from the beginning, because he had 236 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,720 Speaker 1: five kids, because he had two baby mamas, so on 237 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:54,400 Speaker 1: and so forth. And I was determined. I was like, 238 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,760 Speaker 1: I'm going to make this relationship work. And it did 239 00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:00,239 Speaker 1: for a little while. It was a very odd relationship. 240 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,160 Speaker 1: If I look back now, everything that I've learned and 241 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,240 Speaker 1: now that how I've matured and I've grown as a woman, 242 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:10,079 Speaker 1: there's absolutely no way on earth that I would deal 243 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,520 Speaker 1: with half of the things I dealt with in that 244 00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:15,720 Speaker 1: relationship now. But I was young, and to be honest, 245 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,600 Speaker 1: he helped me grow up in every way, So I'm grateful. 246 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:20,800 Speaker 1: He helped me grow up as a woman, as an artist. 247 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,080 Speaker 1: He taught me a lot of the business. He helped 248 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:27,320 Speaker 1: me a lot with Johnny like a lot. So I'm grateful. 249 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: He has his business, he has his record label. And 250 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 1: back then he had what you would call Dell Models, 251 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,880 Speaker 1: And there was just a bunch of these girls, hot 252 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,720 Speaker 1: girls you know that would you know, take pictures with 253 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,200 Speaker 1: the merchandise, with the tanga, the whole thing. I knew 254 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:45,760 Speaker 1: a few of them. I was cool, I was cordial 255 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,199 Speaker 1: with them. They were nice to me. They knew who 256 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:52,120 Speaker 1: I was, they knew I was his girl, and basically 257 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,920 Speaker 1: he cheated on me with one of them. Again. I 258 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,760 Speaker 1: had his past code to his phone. He gave it 259 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 1: to me like IL pass code. He said, here, here's 260 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 1: the past code. And I never really looked into the 261 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,720 Speaker 1: phone because I felt like, if he's giving it to 262 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:08,480 Speaker 1: me by himself without me asking, then he's probably not 263 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:11,880 Speaker 1: doing anything right. So I would never look at his phone, 264 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 1: not even when he was asleep or anything like. I 265 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,520 Speaker 1: just I thought, oh my god, he gave me his 266 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:19,079 Speaker 1: past code. How nice he has mine, Like there's nothing 267 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:22,960 Speaker 1: to hide. Anyways, we were at his office one day 268 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,199 Speaker 1: and he had musicos there and a few friends and 269 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,320 Speaker 1: some of his friend's girlfriends. We were all sitting together 270 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 1: and he left his phone on the table and I 271 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:34,200 Speaker 1: got curious. He was drunk, and I just got the phone. 272 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,840 Speaker 1: I picked it up. This was, I want to say, 273 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,800 Speaker 1: two years into the relationship. And I picked up the 274 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,760 Speaker 1: phone and I put in the past code and I 275 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,440 Speaker 1: just looked and then there was like an email that 276 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,600 Speaker 1: I was like, oh what, I wonder why this email's 277 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 1: not registered? You know, it was in his text message. 278 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,120 Speaker 1: So they were emailing from like or texting, should I say, 279 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:54,440 Speaker 1: from an email? So I looked at it and there 280 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:58,000 Speaker 1: pops a picture of an ass, like you know, all 281 00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:01,880 Speaker 1: these like provocative photos of this girl. And at first 282 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 1: I didn't know who it was. I just knew it 283 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:06,440 Speaker 1: was a girl obviously because it was it was an 284 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:09,520 Speaker 1: ass and some tits, you know. So I was like, 285 00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:11,440 Speaker 1: oh my god. And then I saw his comments and 286 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:14,440 Speaker 1: how he said yummy and like put the tongue and 287 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:17,760 Speaker 1: like all these emojis, and they were like gonna meet up. 288 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,520 Speaker 1: I was supposed to fly out to Miami to do 289 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:23,520 Speaker 1: like a tribute to Selena that weekend, and they were 290 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:26,080 Speaker 1: supposed to meet up while I was gone. So I 291 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,440 Speaker 1: read all of this. Of course I got furious because 292 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:31,280 Speaker 1: I'm like I basically I felt at that time that 293 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,240 Speaker 1: I had lost my relationship with my mom because I 294 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:39,720 Speaker 1: defended this relationship and I just felt completely emotionally destroyed, 295 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:42,160 Speaker 1: Like I was like, what the hell is going on? 296 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 1: I got crazy. I went up to him in front 297 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,640 Speaker 1: of all his friends. I choked him. I said, I 298 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:50,040 Speaker 1: can't believe you do this. I took his phone. I left. 299 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:54,120 Speaker 1: It got really bad. You guys really bad. I scratched 300 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,800 Speaker 1: up his car. He was kind of staying with me 301 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,440 Speaker 1: a little bit, like at my mom's house. He was 302 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,800 Speaker 1: helping me there. He helped me out lot. You guys like, 303 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,560 Speaker 1: he wasn't like the type of guy that was like 304 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,920 Speaker 1: a freeloader or anythink. He was just stayed with me 305 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:08,720 Speaker 1: because Johnny was so young, and he really did help 306 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,880 Speaker 1: me a lot in so many things. Anyway, So he 307 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,440 Speaker 1: was staying with me a little bit at my mom's house, 308 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:15,360 Speaker 1: and he would help me financially there. And so I 309 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:16,680 Speaker 1: had some of his stuff, so I put it all 310 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,560 Speaker 1: in black bags. I stuffed it in his car. My 311 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,440 Speaker 1: plan was to take his car full of his stuff 312 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 1: and just jam it and crash it into his office. 313 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,240 Speaker 1: That was like gonna be my grand entrance. Thank god 314 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 1: I never did that. That was in my thought. I 315 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 1: was just very furious. I wrote up, scratched up his car. 316 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:39,120 Speaker 1: It got really bad. Anyways, With that being said, we 317 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:42,800 Speaker 1: broke up for a couple months. This girl, this is 318 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 1: a thing. I was super disappointed because, unlike the first 319 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,920 Speaker 1: time they cheated on me, she said that she had 320 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:51,960 Speaker 1: no idea who I was. We don't know her friend 321 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,640 Speaker 1: knew who I was, but she says she did it. 322 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 1: She said that she was under the impression that he 323 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:59,840 Speaker 1: was single. So okay, Bassam moossa. But this one, this 324 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 1: girl worked at the office. I was there every other day. 325 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 1: Everyone knew that I was his girl, and she was 326 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:12,480 Speaker 1: disrespecting me. So I took it more of like, you're 327 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: disrespecting me as a woman, and I'm not going to 328 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:18,600 Speaker 1: allow you to do that. Obviously, things changed after I 329 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:24,160 Speaker 1: forgave him when we got back together. But because she 330 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,240 Speaker 1: wasn't a friend of mine, but I was cool with her. 331 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,600 Speaker 1: I was very nice to her. I knew her brother. 332 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,640 Speaker 1: Her brother and I went to school together, and there 333 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,000 Speaker 1: she was fieling with my man, was going to meet 334 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,480 Speaker 1: up with him. They were going to have sexual intercourse 335 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:39,240 Speaker 1: while I was gone working. I just couldn't understand. I 336 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,080 Speaker 1: was like, how is it that a girl could do this? 337 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,200 Speaker 1: I was just more disappointed in her. Anyways, of course, 338 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,200 Speaker 1: we broke up. We broke up for like two months. 339 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:50,720 Speaker 1: I made him suffer because I was obviously devastated, and 340 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:54,080 Speaker 1: he did. He begged me and begged me every single day, 341 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:57,040 Speaker 1: like I could you not? Like he begged me and 342 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 1: I forgave him. I forgave him because I was grateful 343 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:03,440 Speaker 1: with him, because I wasn't ready to let him go 344 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:08,199 Speaker 1: because I loved him. But ever since that happened, everything 345 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:11,879 Speaker 1: changed within my heart, like it was just something just 346 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 1: changed and it was never the same again. And I 347 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,920 Speaker 1: think the same thing happened there where I was like, Okay, 348 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,520 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna let this other person, this other woman 349 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,199 Speaker 1: come and think that she's gonna quote unquote take what 350 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 1: I've worked so hard for because I had given so 351 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,359 Speaker 1: much that relationship, and I helped him change so much, 352 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,240 Speaker 1: and he had already changed so much that I was like, 353 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,479 Speaker 1: I've already put in so much work. I'm not just 354 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,960 Speaker 1: gonna move out of the way for a girl to 355 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:43,480 Speaker 1: come in and just lookin at tan Fasci and she 356 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,160 Speaker 1: has it easy, you know. So it was a little 357 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 1: bit of ego in there as well. And of course, 358 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,719 Speaker 1: like everything I just mentioned, like there was love, there 359 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,159 Speaker 1: was history, There was so much that had happened with 360 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,520 Speaker 1: my family, with my mom that I felt like I 361 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,720 Speaker 1: need to make this relationship work. And I tried, and 362 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,919 Speaker 1: again I was still faithful. I did not cheat on him, 363 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,320 Speaker 1: even though he had cheated on me when we were 364 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,399 Speaker 1: broken up for those two months, I met someone, But 365 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:08,960 Speaker 1: obviously that's not cheating because we were together, you know 366 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,760 Speaker 1: what I mean. He knew about it. He found out later. 367 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,119 Speaker 1: He wasn't happy about it, obviously, but I never cheated 368 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:17,240 Speaker 1: on him. Anyways, that I think was the beginning of 369 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:19,639 Speaker 1: the end for our relationship when I found that out, 370 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 1: and it was hard to trust him. He really did 371 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,159 Speaker 1: make a lot of changes and said, you know, and 372 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,360 Speaker 1: it really felt like he wanted the relationship to work, 373 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,920 Speaker 1: but because he had done what he had done, he 374 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,800 Speaker 1: then didn't trust me because he felt that I was 375 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:33,919 Speaker 1: going to do that. It was his guilty conscious, So 376 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,720 Speaker 1: the relationship was just it was doomed to be honest 377 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:41,200 Speaker 1: from that moment on. And a lot of things changed 378 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,359 Speaker 1: in his office because of it, and a lot of 379 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 1: just things change in the relationship, and anyways, it didn't work. 380 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,560 Speaker 1: The bottom line is that it did not work and 381 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 1: the trust was lost. And I think trust is definitely earned, 382 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,240 Speaker 1: and I think he was doing what he could to 383 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,600 Speaker 1: make the relationship work and for me to earn his trust. 384 00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:01,679 Speaker 1: But I think ultimately it was his guilty conscience that 385 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,600 Speaker 1: ruined the relationship because he felt like, oh, she's out traveling, 386 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,080 Speaker 1: she's gonna cheat on me. Like it was constantly in 387 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:09,280 Speaker 1: the back of his mind, and that was a huge 388 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:18,119 Speaker 1: part of why it didn't work out. One time, I 389 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,440 Speaker 1: was at the gym and it's when I lived in Corona, 390 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,959 Speaker 1: and there was an older man and I told him 391 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,879 Speaker 1: about what was happening. He said, look, honey, I've been 392 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:28,280 Speaker 1: married for forty years. He said, I have cheated on 393 00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:30,399 Speaker 1: my wife. And let me tell you. This is what 394 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:34,880 Speaker 1: he told me. He said, every man cheats at one 395 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 1: point in their life. One of two things happens. Either 396 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,520 Speaker 1: they like it and they continue to do it, or 397 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 1: they don't like it and they feel so bad that 398 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,160 Speaker 1: they'll never do it again. He's like, but every man 399 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,600 Speaker 1: cheats at one point in their life. So I'm like, Okay, well, 400 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 1: maybe it's not going to be on me, but maybe 401 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:50,879 Speaker 1: he cheated on his ex girlfriend and he learned his 402 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:52,439 Speaker 1: lesson and he won't cheat on me. It's kind of 403 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:53,959 Speaker 1: how I saw it, because it kind of did like 404 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:56,520 Speaker 1: mess me up a little bit. I'm like, well, that sucks, like, 405 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:00,000 Speaker 1: but I guess it's bound to happen. I liked it. 406 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,960 Speaker 1: I think that there are faithful guys out there now 407 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,159 Speaker 1: with Emilio, you know, you guys know that I'm in 408 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,000 Speaker 1: a relationship and I have I like to say, I 409 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,000 Speaker 1: think the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. To be honest, 410 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 1: He's gone through his share of things. He also is 411 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:17,880 Speaker 1: cheated on. He also cheated, and it also taught him 412 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:21,000 Speaker 1: what he wants in a woman and what he doesn't want. 413 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,160 Speaker 1: I think that's why our relationship works because we've both 414 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,840 Speaker 1: been through our share of relationships where we've hurt the 415 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,760 Speaker 1: person and they've hurt us, and now we're just like, Okay, 416 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,479 Speaker 1: let's make this work. Let's be honest, let's put everything 417 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,119 Speaker 1: on the table. But I think it takes time and 418 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,359 Speaker 1: it takes experience to get to that point, you know, 419 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:41,720 Speaker 1: whether it be in the relationship that you're in and 420 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,199 Speaker 1: they've already cheated on you, you know, and you forgave them, 421 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,280 Speaker 1: and you guys are moving past it and forward. Because 422 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 1: here's the thing. I'm not going to tell you that 423 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 1: if your partner cheated or you're treated, the relationship is 424 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:56,919 Speaker 1: broken forever. I think through therapy, through intention of you 425 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,600 Speaker 1: wanting to make it work, it can work. It's going 426 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:01,600 Speaker 1: to take a lot of work, though, and you have to. 427 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:06,359 Speaker 1: The first thing is forgive and try to forget, because 428 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,320 Speaker 1: if you keep bringing that shit up all the time, 429 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,560 Speaker 1: it's going to ruin the relationship. If you're going to 430 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:13,399 Speaker 1: forgive the person, forgive them and let it go, do 431 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,560 Speaker 1: your best to let it go and work past it 432 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:19,359 Speaker 1: and work together and make the changes necessary on both ends, 433 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:23,159 Speaker 1: on both sides to make the relationship work and move forward. 434 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:27,640 Speaker 1: For me personally, I think if Emilia were to cheat 435 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:30,240 Speaker 1: on me at this point, I would just have to 436 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:32,119 Speaker 1: let go of the relationship. As much as it hurt me, 437 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:34,800 Speaker 1: I don't think I want to put myself through what 438 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 1: I put myself in the past, like say, Okay, I'm 439 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:38,720 Speaker 1: gonna make this work. I'm going to make them fall 440 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:40,199 Speaker 1: in love with me. I'm going to make them, in 441 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:41,879 Speaker 1: a way suffer for what they did, you know what 442 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:43,680 Speaker 1: I mean, Like, I don't have time for that. I'm 443 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,919 Speaker 1: like more mature now. I don't have the energy. I 444 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,239 Speaker 1: don't have the time for it. And we both are 445 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,359 Speaker 1: on the same page. If we were to cheat on 446 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 1: each other, it's kind of like, okay, let's just part 447 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:57,280 Speaker 1: ways because the relationship won't be the same and we 448 00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:01,240 Speaker 1: have to be okay with that decision. Now. I know 449 00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:07,040 Speaker 1: of people that other celebrities and have forgiven their partners 450 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,399 Speaker 1: for cheating and they move past it and they're okay. 451 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:12,879 Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know. I honestly don't know, but I 452 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:14,439 Speaker 1: think right now, if you were ask me right now, 453 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,879 Speaker 1: if I found out that immdial cheated on me, right now, 454 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,800 Speaker 1: I would have to like go of the relationship because 455 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,000 Speaker 1: I just I don't want to deal with that, you 456 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,120 Speaker 1: know what I mean? And I don't want to put 457 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 1: him through shit because I probably would, like I'd probably 458 00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:29,160 Speaker 1: become a bitch, and I'd probably I won't be the same, 459 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:30,920 Speaker 1: I know myself, So why put him through that? And 460 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,440 Speaker 1: why put myself through that? You know? And he's also 461 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 1: told me I'm not gonna deal with that. It would 462 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:41,040 Speaker 1: be done, so we have that mutual understanding. Anyways. Someone 463 00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:47,680 Speaker 1: once asked me, is an emotional versus a physical cheating 464 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:51,800 Speaker 1: situation is one worse than the other? I think they're 465 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:55,159 Speaker 1: both bad, to be honest, I mean, I think it 466 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:59,000 Speaker 1: would hurt me more if my partner was emotionally involved 467 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,560 Speaker 1: with someone, you know what I mean, like versus it 468 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:06,080 Speaker 1: be just a one night stand. I think both are bad, 469 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,760 Speaker 1: but I think it would be like the one with 470 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:12,160 Speaker 1: my very first boyfriend. He was emotionally involved with that girl, 471 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,000 Speaker 1: like he was talking about marriage, about children, about moving 472 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 1: in together within two weeks. That killed me. That killed 473 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 1: me because I'm like, dude, how like you know what 474 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,480 Speaker 1: I mean? Like what the hell? Like I was just 475 00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,320 Speaker 1: I couldn't believe it. I really couldn't believe that. I 476 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:31,520 Speaker 1: think just like devastated me even more Versus with like 477 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:33,919 Speaker 1: that other dude, it was more of like, let's just 478 00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:35,399 Speaker 1: bone you know what I mean, Like it is what 479 00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,399 Speaker 1: it is, is just have sex. It still hurt me, 480 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:41,280 Speaker 1: of course, but I feel like I was able to 481 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,480 Speaker 1: get over that one a little easier because I still 482 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,919 Speaker 1: stayed for two and a half years after that, Like 483 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,000 Speaker 1: we still stay together anyways. I think, yeah, if you're 484 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:53,160 Speaker 1: gonna get if you're cheating on your partner and you're 485 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:57,000 Speaker 1: getting emotionally involved with someone else and you're giving them 486 00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:00,359 Speaker 1: more attention than you're even giving your significant other, than 487 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,960 Speaker 1: you should not be in that relationship at all. You 488 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,240 Speaker 1: need to let go. There's something wrong. You're obviously not 489 00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:08,800 Speaker 1: into your partner if you're emotionally involved with someone else, 490 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,840 Speaker 1: that's something that I'm like, uh uh, I cannot And 491 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:16,159 Speaker 1: if I could just give anyone advice, anyone that is 492 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:20,080 Speaker 1: listening that has been cheated on, I'm not one to 493 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:23,879 Speaker 1: tell you what to do. I can just speak from experience. 494 00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:25,840 Speaker 1: And if you have been cheated on, and if you 495 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:30,199 Speaker 1: chose to forgive that person, that's admirable, Like I get it. 496 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,560 Speaker 1: Make sure that you are forgiving for the right reasons 497 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:35,679 Speaker 1: first and foremost, because that's something I didn't do. I 498 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,160 Speaker 1: was not forgiving for the right reasons. So make sure 499 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,520 Speaker 1: you are forgiving for the right reasons. Children are involved, 500 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,679 Speaker 1: you have children together, you've been together for years. Obviously, 501 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,000 Speaker 1: you love that person and you want to make this work, 502 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,159 Speaker 1: and I think through therapy and you both have to 503 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,320 Speaker 1: be on the same page. That person also has to 504 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,000 Speaker 1: want to go to therapy. And you're gonna know, you're 505 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,359 Speaker 1: gonna fill it in your heart when someone is completely sorry, 506 00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,359 Speaker 1: but you'll know this person's really sorry, and no one 507 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,760 Speaker 1: should judge if you decide to stay with the person 508 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:05,560 Speaker 1: and forgive them. I think that relationships can work if 509 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:09,040 Speaker 1: both are putting in the same amount of effort to 510 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,840 Speaker 1: make it work. Just make sure that you forgive and 511 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,479 Speaker 1: you try to forget. I know it's easier said than done, 512 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,399 Speaker 1: but you have to forget. You can't keep bringing that 513 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,919 Speaker 1: thing up because it's just gonna create more dense and 514 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:25,720 Speaker 1: more cracks in the glass. It will eventually just break completely. Now, 515 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:28,800 Speaker 1: if you're the one cheating, you need to check your 516 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:33,480 Speaker 1: heart personally, That's what I feel. You need to check 517 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:38,400 Speaker 1: and reflect and analyze the relationship you're in because if 518 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,480 Speaker 1: you're doing that, then that means you're not happy, you're 519 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:44,040 Speaker 1: not attracted to the person you're with, or you're just 520 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:46,119 Speaker 1: greedy and you want that person. You want to have 521 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,359 Speaker 1: your cake and you want to eat it too. So 522 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,840 Speaker 1: I would just say leave the person you're with if 523 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:55,480 Speaker 1: you want to cheat, leave them none. This is gonna say, Parsona. 524 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,919 Speaker 1: Don't hurt yourself and don't hurt them. That's just my 525 00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:01,600 Speaker 1: personal advice. I'm telling you. I've been on both sides 526 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,480 Speaker 1: of the spectrum, and it's not nice. I don't like 527 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,680 Speaker 1: to hurt anybody and I don't want to be hurt, 528 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,560 Speaker 1: and I think we just need to treat people the 529 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 1: way we want to be treated. We're not perfect. I 530 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,720 Speaker 1: ask for forgiveness. I'm like God forgive me, like I don't. 531 00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:16,760 Speaker 1: I don't want to hurt people. I really don't like 532 00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,200 Speaker 1: all those things that I did when I was younger, 533 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,439 Speaker 1: Like it just taught me and it molded me to 534 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,400 Speaker 1: be the woman I am today. And the main thing 535 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,800 Speaker 1: is I want to be a positive force, a positive 536 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:30,680 Speaker 1: addition to someone's life. I'm not here to hurt anybody, 537 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:31,719 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I don't want to hurt 538 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,480 Speaker 1: anybody's feelings. I want to be something good in their life, 539 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:36,840 Speaker 1: something that they can be proud of, like they had 540 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:40,040 Speaker 1: me way yeah la bletos, you know, like my footprint. 541 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,760 Speaker 1: I was here and it was a good experience, you know, 542 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,280 Speaker 1: which is why I feel bad for what I did 543 00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:47,840 Speaker 1: when I was twenty twenty one, twenty two, twenty three, 544 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,760 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like you're young, You're dumb, 545 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,000 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Like you're barely learning. But make sure that 546 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,760 Speaker 1: the things that you've done also teach you and you 547 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 1: learn that lesson that you're meant to learn, so that 548 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:04,120 Speaker 1: moving forward and in your future, you can be happier 549 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:06,160 Speaker 1: and have peace in your heart and in your mind. 550 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,359 Speaker 1: I know everyone feels differently about whether or not you 551 00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:11,600 Speaker 1: should stay with someone who has cheated. But I think 552 00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:14,640 Speaker 1: everyone should make their decision and do what they feel 553 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,760 Speaker 1: is right for them. So if your friends or family 554 00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:18,760 Speaker 1: open up to you about it, just listen and support 555 00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:21,240 Speaker 1: them and try not to judge them too harshly. That's 556 00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:29,800 Speaker 1: just something that I truly believe. With that being said, 557 00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:33,280 Speaker 1: we are going to close out the episode and give you, guys, 558 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:37,800 Speaker 1: my motivational quote for this beautiful Monday. I actually have 559 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:41,400 Speaker 1: two quotes for you guys today. One is, breaking someone's 560 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,080 Speaker 1: trust is like crumbling up a perfect piece of paper. 561 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,760 Speaker 1: You can smooth it over, but it's never going to 562 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:50,159 Speaker 1: be the same. The next one is the secret of 563 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,960 Speaker 1: change is to focus all of your energy not on 564 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:57,320 Speaker 1: fighting the old, but on building the new. All right, guys, well, 565 00:27:57,359 --> 00:28:00,560 Speaker 1: thank you so much for listening, for being here with me. 566 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:02,600 Speaker 1: I hope that you learned a little bit more about 567 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,360 Speaker 1: me from my mistakes, and a little bit for you 568 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:12,080 Speaker 1: for your future, for your present, Catunes elos Laki elm 569 00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:19,320 Speaker 1: loskiro Muco, I love you, guys, visitos Na and guys, 570 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:20,800 Speaker 1: I want to let you know there's a brand new 571 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:22,920 Speaker 1: way for us to keep in touch. You can now 572 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,560 Speaker 1: leave me a voice Membo directly through the iHeartRadio app. 573 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:29,120 Speaker 1: Just click the microphone at the top of the Cheeky's 574 00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:32,720 Speaker 1: and Chill podcast homepage within the iHeartRadio app, and if 575 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,000 Speaker 1: you don't already have the app, you can download it 576 00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,720 Speaker 1: for free. Your questions and comments could be featured in 577 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,200 Speaker 1: a future episode, so feel free to let me know 578 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:46,480 Speaker 1: what's on your mind. This is a production of iHeartRadio 579 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 1: and Mike Wura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at 580 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:54,480 Speaker 1: mike Utura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's, That's c h 581 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:58,760 Speaker 1: i q u y S. For more podcasts from iHeart, 582 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:02,600 Speaker 1: visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you 583 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:03,920 Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.