1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,880 Speaker 1: Bucome up, Hold on tight, we gotta put you here. 2 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:05,840 Speaker 1: It is the Strawberry letter, thank you enough you subjects 3 00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:10,160 Speaker 1: closer than close best friends. Dear Stephen Shirley, I have 4 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:12,559 Speaker 1: a male best friend that I want to be more 5 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,480 Speaker 1: than friends with. I was taught that the man is 6 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:19,040 Speaker 1: supposed to pursue the woman, so I've never attempted to 7 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:23,200 Speaker 1: tell him how I feel about him. We have been 8 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:25,959 Speaker 1: friends for ten years, and although we have strictly have 9 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 1: a strictly platonic relationship, our friends and family make jokes 10 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:33,280 Speaker 1: about us already being a couple. My mom even refers 11 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:35,760 Speaker 1: to him as her son in law. He lives four 12 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:39,000 Speaker 1: hundred miles away, but we see each other several times 13 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,760 Speaker 1: a month. He always pays for my flight, hotel, rooms, 14 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,920 Speaker 1: meals whenever I go to visit him. When he comes 15 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,559 Speaker 1: to see me, he spends time with my mom, and 16 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: he makes plans for us to see movies, concerts, plays, 17 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 1: et cetera. I have even been on his family vacation. 18 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 1: I know that our friendship is not normal, and we 19 00:00:57,520 --> 00:01:00,960 Speaker 1: do everything a couple does, except for have sex. He 20 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 1: has never shown any interest in dating me, but it's 21 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,839 Speaker 1: so obvious that he likes me. Every time he gets 22 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:10,480 Speaker 1: a new girlfriend, he shares everything with me about their relationship. 23 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 1: He even had a child a few years ago, and 24 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,040 Speaker 1: I was there for him when things didn't work out 25 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:18,480 Speaker 1: with him and the child's mom. He's perfect for me, 26 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 1: and I can't imagine my future with any other man 27 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 1: but him, with any man but him. I want to 28 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:26,399 Speaker 1: let him know how I feel, but the thought of 29 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 1: rejection terrifies me. Stephen Shirley, what do you think can 30 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: a man be close friends with a woman and not 31 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 1: have any feelings for her? This is driving me crazy. 32 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:41,280 Speaker 1: I want him and only him. Should I tell him? Well? Yeah, 33 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 1: I think you should tell him. I really do. I 34 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:45,880 Speaker 1: don't think you have anything to lose. I think you 35 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,880 Speaker 1: have everything to gain. I think you should definitely take 36 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 1: a risk. Uh. Plus, I think he likes you to 37 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: like you said in the letter, because he spends so 38 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:58,559 Speaker 1: much of his time and his money with you. Okay, 39 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: those things are important, So he does that a lot 40 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:04,240 Speaker 1: with you, And that's what makes me thinks he likes you. 41 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 1: Not just you, but he spends time with your family 42 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: and you spend time with his family. I mean ten years, 43 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 1: Come on, that's a long time. I mean, there should 44 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 1: be nothing that you can't share with this man, especially 45 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 1: your feelings. After all, you've certainly been there for him, 46 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 1: I mean with his girlfriends and his son and all 47 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:26,520 Speaker 1: of that. I really think, I really hope that your 48 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:29,640 Speaker 1: friendship can and will withstand it if you guys do 49 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:33,000 Speaker 1: decide to take this uh to the love level. You know, 50 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 1: but you gotta tell him first. Somebody has to break 51 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:39,000 Speaker 1: the ice. Even if you you you try it and 52 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: it fails. I think I hope that you guys can 53 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:45,520 Speaker 1: can be friends and come through it. People always say 54 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,440 Speaker 1: that you should be friends first, and you guys are 55 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 1: definitely that, and you've been friends for ten years. That 56 00:02:51,040 --> 00:03:00,600 Speaker 1: should mean something. Steve, that's cute. Scaredly you about of this? 57 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:05,680 Speaker 1: Damn that's you know. I'm here for it. You know now? 58 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 1: This woman right is in a dilemma. Ten years flying 59 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 1: in the town, live four hundred miles away, pay for 60 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 1: all your tickets to come see him, y'all, go on 61 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 1: family vacations, y'all sitting up here doing everything as a couple. 62 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 1: Are you flying in see each other several times a month? 63 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:29,080 Speaker 1: He paid for your flight, hotel room meals. Whenever you 64 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:32,239 Speaker 1: go to visit. Then he comes see you, spend time 65 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:36,720 Speaker 1: with your mama, makes playing for y'all, gonna see movies, concerts, plays, 66 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: all this right here? Okay, Well, what the hell wrong there? 67 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 1: Well let's go get to it. Something is wrong because 68 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 1: he doing all this. It didn't you tell her how 69 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 1: you've been there for him and he had other girlfriends. 70 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 1: He tell you all about him, and he had a 71 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 1: son a couple of years ago, and you was there 72 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 1: for him when it didn't work outtween the mom and 73 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 1: the baby. The boys sleep been with somebody. It ain't you. 74 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:08,880 Speaker 1: Why has he not made a move on you? And 75 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 1: why you want him so bad? And he's so perfect 76 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 1: for you, but he can't see that in you. It 77 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:18,400 Speaker 1: could be one of two things only with a man. 78 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 1: Number One, he is afraid that if he makes a 79 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:28,400 Speaker 1: move to you that it will destroy the friendship. And 80 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 1: he's just hanging around because there's something stupid about him 81 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:34,440 Speaker 1: where he has not figured out that you have a 82 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:40,039 Speaker 1: physical and a mental spiritual attraction to him. That's the 83 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 1: first option, That's the one that you hope it is now. 84 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,840 Speaker 1: The second reason he ain't said nothing it called he 85 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:51,400 Speaker 1: ain't attracted to you now? Is gonna be a definite 86 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:55,280 Speaker 1: blow to your ego. So now what you gotta do 87 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 1: is he's told you about all his other girlfriend look 88 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 1: come up on Facebook and get a picture of them. Now, 89 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:08,679 Speaker 1: if you ain't in the same arena, ask them girl friends. 90 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 1: You have your answer. He's not attracted to you. That's 91 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:16,880 Speaker 1: going to be hard. Now. Chances are I don't think 92 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:21,599 Speaker 1: that's the case because we don't spend money, We don't, 93 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:27,240 Speaker 1: we do not spend time with people. We are not attracted. 94 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 1: We just dudes, man, And I'm sorry, but we are 95 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 1: just dudes. So I'm hoping it's the first one that 96 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:42,280 Speaker 1: he's afraid that he would lose your friendship before he's 97 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 1: had the courage and the nerve to make the move, 98 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:49,279 Speaker 1: because it's something about you that's so special that he 99 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 1: don't want to say nothing. I let a girl get 100 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,800 Speaker 1: by with me for years like that. Her name was 101 00:05:54,839 --> 00:06:01,360 Speaker 1: Michelle Pierce h All through high school, even through college. 102 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 1: My god, man, because you didn't say anything. I just 103 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,000 Speaker 1: wouldn't say come on, let's get to it. Part two 104 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:12,960 Speaker 1: of your response to Today's Strawberry letter, Closer than Close 105 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:17,280 Speaker 1: best Friends is the subject. Yeah here, this woman been 106 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:22,560 Speaker 1: friends with this man for ten years. They've done everything together, vacations, 107 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:26,280 Speaker 1: flying four hundred miles away, he'd taking a place, concerts, 108 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:30,159 Speaker 1: going take a mama out. They do everything together. Even 109 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:32,520 Speaker 1: the family that joked about him. Y'all in a couple, 110 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,320 Speaker 1: but he didn't have a relationship with other women. Tell 111 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 1: you all about him, y'all ain't never talked about this. 112 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:41,039 Speaker 1: I find this so difficult to believe. You mean, y'all 113 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:43,000 Speaker 1: ain't said. I mean, but that ain't hell your hand 114 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:46,360 Speaker 1: in the moving nothing? Man, what's up? Y'all? Just friends? 115 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:51,240 Speaker 1: Men don't do this. But he had a baby with 116 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 1: another girl a couple of years ago that obviously broke 117 00:06:55,839 --> 00:06:59,200 Speaker 1: your heart, that didn't working out, And there you're going, 118 00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:05,159 Speaker 1: well what about me? M hmm, what about me? Where? 119 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 1: What about you? Like I said, it's only two things 120 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:13,120 Speaker 1: could be stopping this. He is so afraid of losing 121 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,920 Speaker 1: your friendship that he's hanging on the outskirts thinking you 122 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 1: don't really see him that way, and he's just hoping 123 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:23,080 Speaker 1: you come around one day. Men can do that because 124 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,240 Speaker 1: men don't spend money on women that we're not attracted to. 125 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:33,400 Speaker 1: We just don't do that. I don't, I know, it's 126 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 1: just funny. I'm just telling you in a crude way 127 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 1: of putting. I just want you to understand what it 128 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 1: is now. The other thing is he's not attracted to you, 129 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:52,280 Speaker 1: and that would be the most devastating reason because nothing 130 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:54,320 Speaker 1: you can do can make him attracted to you after 131 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,400 Speaker 1: ten years. But I seriously doubt that that's the case 132 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:02,320 Speaker 1: because he keeps flying to are you man? You mean 133 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:06,440 Speaker 1: something to this dude? And I got news for you. 134 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:10,680 Speaker 1: He loves you. I think I have news for you. 135 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 1: Ain't no dude doing nothing for no woman for ten years. 136 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:18,440 Speaker 1: He don't love him? He might be onto something, sir, 137 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:22,240 Speaker 1: I got it. He loves you and he wants to 138 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,240 Speaker 1: be in love with you, but he don't want to 139 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 1: lose the love part, so he's scared of mentioning in 140 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:32,480 Speaker 1: love part. It's time to walk past his ass naked drastic. 141 00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 1: You gotta do something. He's sitting, Yeah, put some heels 142 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,600 Speaker 1: on it, right in front of that damn TV. And 143 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 1: it acts like you're doing something else. A couple of 144 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 1: coffee in your hands, some eyeglanses and like you reading 145 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 1: and just walking away and right across that TV, straight 146 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 1: naked that we finn to find out right after that, 147 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,360 Speaker 1: because I was. And if his comment is this right 148 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,959 Speaker 1: here this when you got baby, baby, you forgot to 149 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:08,640 Speaker 1: put your clothes on, we got a problem. But if 150 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 1: you walk past, then you go and you don't hear nothing. 151 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:14,440 Speaker 1: But then you look back and he's staying at it. 152 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Well then you walk over there and set 153 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,520 Speaker 1: your neked ass right next to him and act like 154 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,520 Speaker 1: y'all friends and keep watching that game and see how 155 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 1: long that damn games different? And but as naked naked 156 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 1: is when you just take your clothes brought as ned 157 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:43,440 Speaker 1: and walk around in front of somebody to see you naked. 158 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:50,040 Speaker 1: See that two come out you brought as niked you 159 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:51,840 Speaker 1: walk in there so they can see you with them, 160 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:59,960 Speaker 1: not just naked. But it's two different things. And quick 161 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 1: coming to bed barefoot all the time. Some day I'm 162 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:08,599 Speaker 1: heels on and up to Annie. Yeah yeah, come in. 163 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,319 Speaker 1: Do you know you look better with your up on 164 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 1: your toes? Lift that up? I put that in the air, 165 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 1: hoisted the looked better in the air. You A you'll 166 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 1: find something real quick. So she's got to let him 167 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,839 Speaker 1: know you agree with that. For sure. She needs to 168 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:38,360 Speaker 1: do something. They need to break the ice. You talked 169 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:42,120 Speaker 1: about ninety day rude. They didn't win years ten years. Yeah, 170 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 1: and he spent a lot of time and money with 171 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:50,880 Speaker 1: her best Okay, he has never shown any interest in 172 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:55,680 Speaker 1: dating me. Who That's what she says in the letter. 173 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,800 Speaker 1: He has never shown any interest in dating me. But 174 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:02,439 Speaker 1: it's so obvious that he likes. Yes, if it's so obvious, dear, 175 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 1: let's go it is. Then take the rest. Look, you 176 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:11,720 Speaker 1: got litmus tests, you got pregnancy tests, you got they 177 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:15,640 Speaker 1: got cancer tests out there. You can take an HIV test, 178 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:20,199 Speaker 1: you can take a diabetes test. You gotta take the 179 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:32,679 Speaker 1: butt ass naked. Got to take the test. It's a test. 180 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:36,079 Speaker 1: Everybody got tests for everything. It's so obvious. But we 181 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:39,319 Speaker 1: got a way to find out. But you know you 182 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,079 Speaker 1: thank you obviously pregnant, But we gotta way to find 183 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:45,559 Speaker 1: out you. Thank you obviously sick. We gotta way to 184 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 1: find out. Man, ain't got to do that. I'm tearing up. 185 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:54,400 Speaker 1: I'm trying to tell you time the more time it's 186 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:59,280 Speaker 1: the difference between naked is when you come out the 187 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:03,960 Speaker 1: shop neck it is when you're taking a bath. Naked 188 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:06,720 Speaker 1: is when you change and clothes for the get dressed again. 189 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,599 Speaker 1: You just nick it. But when you walk out in 190 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:14,160 Speaker 1: front of somebody for them to see you come over here, 191 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 1: that not become but as. That's what we're talking about 192 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:23,439 Speaker 1: this morning. And do a couple of suggestions. The next 193 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,760 Speaker 1: time you naked and you really want to get it, 194 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:30,360 Speaker 1: put a necklace on. What is that gonna do? That's 195 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: all girl? Did you just ask me what that's gonna do? Fellas? 196 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,839 Speaker 1: Fellas she come to bed neked with just a necklace on. 197 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:53,000 Speaker 1: He back about the money? You know? That's all right? 198 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:57,199 Speaker 1: Said something. We gotta go, Thank you, Steve. We gotta 199 00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:03,400 Speaker 1: go email us with you. We don't have any time, Jake. 200 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,559 Speaker 1: We gotta go email us or Instagram. What's your thoughts 201 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,880 Speaker 1: to my girls? Shirley. Okay, thank you so very much. 202 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 1: I appreciate you guys for joining me yesterday for the 203 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,120 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter Live After Show. All right, and we'll be 204 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:20,319 Speaker 1: there again next Thursday. Thank you. You're listening to the 205 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:21,840 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show.