Speaker 1: Welcome to Creature Future production of iHeartRadio. I'm your host
Speaker 1: of Mini Parasites, Katie Golden. I studied psychology and evolutionary biology,
Speaker 1: and today on the show, don't skip leg Day because
Speaker 1: we are talking about animals with the chunkiest, buffust and
Speaker 1: most impressive legs in the world. These animals are powered
Speaker 1: by two potent legs that will take them on interesting paths,
Speaker 1: to say the least. Joining me today is comedian TV writer,
Speaker 1: creator of Comedy Central digital series Gone Native, and a
Speaker 1: writer for Spirit Rangers on Netflix. Garfield appreciator Joey Clift. Welcome.
Speaker 2: Yeah, hey everybody, thanks so much for having me Katie,
Speaker 2: and I gotta say I'm very excited to talk about
Speaker 2: today's episode. This isn't something I posted a to on
Speaker 2: social media, but I started working out with a personal
Speaker 2: trainer at the beginning of the year, and because of that,
Speaker 2: I've basically been in this losing battle over the past
Speaker 2: year of trying not to make working out my entire personality.
Speaker 2: So I feel like leg Day is something that I'm
Speaker 2: well versed in. I'm really excited to talk about this.
Speaker 2: I hope we get some talks about you know who's
Speaker 2: got the best pendulum squat, you know, like you know
Speaker 2: who's got the best lifting techniques. You know who's RDL
Speaker 2: is the most spectacular. You know, if you want to
Speaker 2: talk about protein shakes, I can definitely get into that.
Speaker 2: So yeah, like I said, losing battle to make this
Speaker 2: my entire personality, Well, I.
Speaker 1: Too have a personal trainer. Her name is Cookie, and
Speaker 1: she strongly encourages me to go on walks every day
Speaker 1: and to also rub her belly. That's a particular exercise
Speaker 1: that she says is really good for like my wrist
Speaker 1: control or something. Anyways, Yeah, so I am very very
Speaker 1: much super swoll in every sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, since this is an audio medium, it's good to
Speaker 2: note that both of us are just totally jacked right now. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's very very buff yoke.
Speaker 1: It's hard to podcast because our biceps keep bonking into
Speaker 1: the microphone.
Speaker 2: Yeah you know, I mean I am definitely like just
Speaker 2: I'm definitely lifting just metal weights right now while we're
Speaker 2: talking about it, And it's like, so you're gonna have
Speaker 2: to edit all those clangs out.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, my glutes are so like iron, just like rock solid.
Speaker 1: I keep rolling off the chair. But yeah, today we
Speaker 1: aren't going to talk about how amazing both of our
Speaker 1: glutes and hamstrings and various other leg things are, which,
Speaker 1: believe me, they are. It's grotesque how muscular we are.
Speaker 1: It's actually disgusting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's no longer attractive or visually a pleaser. It's
Speaker 2: like you'll look you'll look at us and run in horror.
Speaker 1: It looks it looks like an akira situation is sort
Speaker 1: of meat a meat tornado. It's not good. Uh, and
Speaker 1: it hurts really bad. So uh, yes, but we are
Speaker 1: talking about animals that have incredible legs and uh maybe
Speaker 1: not necessarily in proportion with the rest of them. So,
Speaker 1: for instance, our first little contestant in this leg contest
Speaker 1: is the frog legged leaf beetle or Sagra buchetti. Yeah,
Speaker 1: frog legged leaf beetle, which kind of sounds like an
Speaker 1: insult to be honest, Like it's got that cadence of
Speaker 1: like you're a frog legged leaf beetle. It sounds not nice.
Speaker 1: It sounds like bullying. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I feel like if somebody called me a frog leg
Speaker 2: like leaf beetle, I would immediately be like, wait are
Speaker 2: you talking? Is that because my legs are big or
Speaker 2: because my legs are weird? Because one of those compliments
Speaker 2: is not a compliment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds like an obscure insult, but it is
Speaker 1: in fact a bee with some of the hammiest, chunkiest legs.
Speaker 1: He's on a real pair of tree stumps. The especially
Speaker 1: the males, they have these big honk and hind legs. So, Joey,
Speaker 1: I did share with you a photo of these. These
Speaker 1: are the ones that look like a rainbow threw up
Speaker 1: on a beetle and then gave it incredible, incredible legs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like that beetle. It needs to be said.
Speaker 2: It looks like I, he or she is wearing just
Speaker 2: fantastic leggings. They really accentuate the you know, the glutes
Speaker 2: and the other leg muscles. Glutes is the only one
Speaker 2: that I could think.
Speaker 1: Of out Yes, glutes and thighs. And you know, I
Speaker 1: don't think the insects really have these kinds of things,
Speaker 1: Like I believe the muscles of the human leg do
Speaker 1: not exactly match up to the muscles of the beetle
Speaker 1: leg But yes, they do have really chunky legs, and
Speaker 1: they are iridescent. They are these beautiful shimmering colors of
Speaker 1: like greens and magentas and blues and reds and yellows.
Speaker 1: It's it's iridescent, so as they as they shift, like
Speaker 1: as the light hits them, they will sort of have
Speaker 1: this different color. So it's very very pretty. So the
Speaker 1: males grow to be almost two inches long, so they're
Speaker 1: not they're not tiny either, They're they're they're pretty chunky.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean these beetles they just like look fantastic,
Speaker 2: Like you mentioned, like the coloring on them is so cool.
Speaker 2: They really look like I could see them at home
Speaker 2: in like an eighties workout video. Like it feels like
Speaker 2: it's like that type of like leotard and like legging
Speaker 2: set up. So I gotta say that Beadle looks like
Speaker 2: they're just like living their truth. And I'm so happy
Speaker 2: for them.
Speaker 1: It's giving Jane Fonda, it's giving Richard Simmons, uh for sure,
Speaker 1: just iridescent eighties body suit. And yeah, you would think
Speaker 1: that they would use these legs for a bunch of
Speaker 1: like cool acrobatic jumps and stuff, but they're actually not
Speaker 1: used for jumping. They seem to be used for gripping
Speaker 1: onto vines as they climb trees in their native Jungles
Speaker 1: of southeast Asia, but it seems like overkill. And so
Speaker 1: there's this mystery of why are their legs so big
Speaker 1: and beefy, And one clue is sexual dimorphism. So sexual
Speaker 1: dimorphism is a difference between the male and the female
Speaker 1: of a species. Not all species like, are all that
Speaker 1: sexually dimorphic, like, they can be very similar, but for
Speaker 1: these like, the females are smaller and their hind legs
Speaker 1: are much less exaggerated and how big they are versus
Speaker 1: the males who have these huge, huge hammy legs. Biologists
Speaker 1: speculate that these massive thighs are used in male male
Speaker 1: competition for females, some kind of sexual selection going.
Speaker 2: On here, so they basically just like leg wrestle with
Speaker 2: other males.
Speaker 1: I mean, that is the theory. What's interesting is that
Speaker 1: none of these wrestling matches have actually ever been observed
Speaker 1: directly by modern researchers. So there is quite possibly this
Speaker 1: rainbow iridescent fight club that's really secret of beetles with
Speaker 1: like the juiciest thighs ever, just going completely ham on
Speaker 1: each other.
Speaker 2: Why is that not like a UFC style pay per
Speaker 2: view situation?
Speaker 1: I would, I mean, it's just so sad to me
Speaker 1: that this has not been caught on camera. I feel
Speaker 1: like we need to fund this research until we do
Speaker 1: have a video of these iridescent beetles doing. I wish
Speaker 1: I knew wrestling terms. I'm going to say a screwdriver
Speaker 1: is one of them, A half nelson, a rotating windmill.
Speaker 1: Gary Busey, I don't know, man, I don't know what
Speaker 1: wrestling is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, actually, okay, So the reason that I got a
Speaker 2: personal trainer at the beginning of the year is that
Speaker 2: I actually wrestled in my first and only pro wrestling
Speaker 2: match in March. Really yeah, yeah, And now that I
Speaker 2: think about it, I feel like this beatles shell looks
Speaker 2: a lot like my wrestling team. That was honestly the
Speaker 2: part I like, you know, we worked with actual wrestlers
Speaker 2: and train had to wrestler with me and a couple
Speaker 2: of my friends. We wrestled like a tag team match.
Speaker 2: But like what we probably spent the most time on
Speaker 2: is like getting our gear made. Like we went to
Speaker 2: the to the fabric district in downtown Los Angeles like
Speaker 2: as a group and like picked out a wrestling type
Speaker 2: fabric and then we sent it to like one of
Speaker 2: my friend's moms, Like sew them for us, and we
Speaker 2: sent picks so that we could be like, we want
Speaker 2: to look like this wrestler truly the most fun. That
Speaker 2: is fantastic the day now that you mention it. These
Speaker 2: definitely are giving Like nineteen eighties pro wrestler. I could
Speaker 2: see both of these beetles, you know, cutting a really
Speaker 2: sick promo about how they're going to beat their opponent
Speaker 2: and then getting in the ring with you know, sick
Speaker 2: entrance music and then having just like just the best
Speaker 2: leg wrestling match you've ever seen in your life, you know,
Speaker 2: throwing some sharpshooters, throwing some scorpion deathlocks, it's all, Look,
Speaker 2: this is all stuff I love. So I'm excited about.
Speaker 1: Those so hus As a professional wrestler, how much is
Speaker 1: legs involved in wrestling? Like, how much of it is legs?
Speaker 1: How much of it is arms?
Speaker 2: I would say it's all. It's all, it's all legs
Speaker 2: every move. I mean, actually, honestly, that's not inaccurate because
Speaker 2: it's like every move you're basically like acting as kind
Speaker 2: of like the base for your opponent, like wrestling is,
Speaker 2: you know, like professional wrestling is you know, predetermined. These
Speaker 2: wrestlings actually trying to kill each other. I know, no,
Speaker 2: I spoiled it. These wrestlers aren't actually trying to kill
Speaker 2: each other. So because of that, it's like oftentimes they
Speaker 2: work together to do the moves. So it's like to
Speaker 2: do a you know, like a body slam. It's like
Speaker 2: part of it is the person who's lifting the other
Speaker 2: person out, but part of it is the person being
Speaker 2: lifted acting is like a base. So they'll like use
Speaker 2: their hand to like prop themselves up to us so
Speaker 2: they can like basically be lifted in the air in
Speaker 2: such a ways to not throw off the balance of
Speaker 2: the person lifting them. So yeah, I would say that, like,
Speaker 2: legs are a pretty important part of wrestling now that
Speaker 2: I think about it.
Speaker 1: So those these Beetles have it figured all out. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: any any chance you could change your team name to
Speaker 1: the frog leg Leaf Beetles.
Speaker 2: I mean, look, we're still so far we have not
Speaker 2: won a single match, so I don't think people would
Speaker 2: be sad if we changed our team.
Speaker 1: What is your team name right now?
Speaker 2: Okay, so our team name is the Hat Boys, and
Speaker 2: we're basically three guys who entirely have hat based offense.
Speaker 2: So we'll like put on a sleeping cap and then
Speaker 2: put it on our opponent and the'll fall asleep. Or
Speaker 2: we'll like jump on the top rope with a propeller
Speaker 2: hat on and then spin the propeller and then time
Speaker 2: off the top rope. Yeah. Yeah, so it's uh, let's
Speaker 2: just say we don't win a lot for ever. So
Speaker 2: hat based offense not very offencive.
Speaker 1: Hey, guys, heels or protagonists.
Speaker 2: Okay, So honestly we were supposed to be heels like
Speaker 2: bad guys in our in our match, but we did
Speaker 2: this gimmick where we bought like I bought, like, you know,
Speaker 2: several hundred, like you know, cheap baseball caps on Amazon.
Speaker 2: So every audience member as they walked in, they got
Speaker 2: a free hat from the hat boys. So like, once
Speaker 2: our entrance music hit and we came out, we got
Speaker 2: just the biggest baby face, good guy pop that you've
Speaker 2: ever heard in your life.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: So we were like, oh, I guess we're good guys.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean bribery works when you.
Speaker 2: Have hat I did. Yah. Yeah, people people like hats.
Speaker 2: That's that was my big takeaway.
Speaker 1: So you might be wondering if we've never observed these
Speaker 1: beetles actually leg wrestling, Like, why do researchers think that
Speaker 1: it's may be the case. Well, we have actually observed
Speaker 1: this in other species of beetles. So there are other
Speaker 1: species of beetles that have oversized back legs, and they
Speaker 1: do use these in leg battles, and they have been
Speaker 1: observed to do this. So the leaf footed bugs are
Speaker 1: a family of beetles where species will often have these
Speaker 1: disproportionately large hind legs, which is like this very strange
Speaker 1: feature on otherwise pretty average looking beetle. It's usually sort
Speaker 1: of full brown or black, you know, just kind of
Speaker 1: a normal looking beetle, but then it has these really
Speaker 1: long and pretty like beefy and kind of thorny legs.
Speaker 1: It's very like, very much the legs go all the
Speaker 1: way up on these beetles. So I have sent you
Speaker 1: a some an alarming photo of one of these beetles.
Speaker 2: Okay, so I'm really quick on the frog like leaf beetle.
Speaker 2: I think it would be Is it ever happened in
Speaker 2: science where scientists have not observed something but they've just
Speaker 2: like written it down as a scientific discovery because they're
Speaker 2: like it would be cool if they did that.
Speaker 1: I mean, they're not supposed to. They're not really supposed
Speaker 1: to do that. Have they done it? I can't say,
Speaker 1: but they're not. I mean certainly old timey scientists did
Speaker 1: do stuff like that, for sure, but modern I think
Speaker 1: that there's there's more of a system to call you
Speaker 1: on your bs if you just say, yeah, I think
Speaker 1: it did this.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So the leaf footed beetle, Yeah, I gotta say
Speaker 2: this thing. If I ran into this thing in an alley,
Speaker 2: I'd be pretty terrified. It's got like just very very big,
Speaker 2: long hind legs that are like significantly beefier than it's
Speaker 2: other legs. Yeah, it's got this kind of fun orange
Speaker 2: and black Halloween motif.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So the species Leptoglosses estrallas also know and as
Speaker 1: passion find bugs, have been observed engaging in leg wrestling.
Speaker 1: So males will drag each other with their legs or
Speaker 1: beat each other with their legs when competing for females,
Speaker 1: sometimes escalating into what scientific American journalist Becky Crue calls
Speaker 1: a quote thumb wars situation with the male's hind legs
Speaker 1: and abdomen where they're just sort of trying to wrap
Speaker 1: their legs around each other and you know, you know
Speaker 1: you've done a thumb wars where you're trying to sort
Speaker 1: of like jockey position with your thumb over the other thumb,
Speaker 1: but in this case it's beetle legs.
Speaker 2: Okay, So my question is when they do that, do
Speaker 2: they do it to the death or do they just
Speaker 2: do it until one of them gets bored and it's
Speaker 2: like you win? Or is there a little beetle referee
Speaker 2: with a little shirt.
Speaker 1: So they will do it to the knocking one of
Speaker 1: the beetles off of that area, discouraging, scaring of off
Speaker 1: one of the beatles. Sometimes they will do it to
Speaker 1: the injury of oops, I rip your leg off. So yeah,
Speaker 1: it can get quite serious. There's another species that is
Speaker 1: particularly agro when it comes to these leg wrestling, the
Speaker 1: giant leaf food footed bugs also use their hefty legs
Speaker 1: to fight each other, including females who will sort of
Speaker 1: wave each other's legs. They'll wave their legs at other
Speaker 1: females as a warning if they are competing for food.
Speaker 1: If the other female is not dissuaded, they start fighting
Speaker 1: butt to butt with their legs, kind of like a
Speaker 1: butt to butt leg slap fight. Males of this species
Speaker 1: also engage in leg battles to compete for mating opportunities,
Speaker 1: with the goal being wrapping their legs around their opponents
Speaker 1: and squeezing. Is there a wrestling move? What's that called
Speaker 1: in wrestling?
Speaker 2: So it's probably like a figure four leg lock. But
Speaker 2: what I love about the giant leaf footed bug is that,
Speaker 2: like you mentioned, the previous two bugs, pretty much like
Speaker 2: their legs are primarily used for you know, like mating
Speaker 2: and defending and mating, Whereas it feels like the giant
Speaker 2: leaf footed bug like on some level it just likes
Speaker 2: to fight pretty much.
Speaker 1: It seems they're very pugnacious. I mean it has something
Speaker 1: to do with mating, right, because the males do fight
Speaker 1: each other, but the females also use them to fight
Speaker 1: each other. So it's just they like, they like a
Speaker 1: good a good wrestle, They like a good tussle.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's good. Maybe they should they should have
Speaker 2: less creatine powder. I think that's I'm angry.
Speaker 1: I mean, they are so they are so agro that
Speaker 1: sometimes the battles, particularly with the male to male, like
Speaker 1: they become so fierce they forget their primary goal of
Speaker 1: mating with females and they just keep fighting at the
Speaker 1: cost of mini mating opportunities. Uh, and like ripping each
Speaker 1: other's legs off, and then they actually don't end up mating.
Speaker 1: It's just that they rode down too hard.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean now that, now that I'm looking a
Speaker 2: little bit closer, it does look like they're wearing tiny
Speaker 2: and hardy T shirts and tap out pants. Yeah so yeah,
Speaker 2: so yeah, it doesn't make sense. This all tracks.
Speaker 1: You see this beetle take its flannel off, and you know, uh,
Speaker 1: nothing good is going to happen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was listening to some Joe Rogan before this
Speaker 2: just real fired up.
Speaker 1: Well, we're going to take a quick break and when
Speaker 1: we get back, we're going to talk about another set
Speaker 1: of gargantuan gambs in the animal kingdom. All right, so
Speaker 1: we are back. And when you think of a bird
Speaker 1: who can walk the runway, uh, do you have anything
Speaker 1: that comes to mind?
Speaker 2: A bird that can rock they can walk the runway.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say I'm thinking peacocks. Peacocks definitely, like you know,
Speaker 2: have really great feathers and look very fashionable. I'm gonna say, uh,
Speaker 2: let's see, like flamingos. I feel like flamingos have legs
Speaker 2: for days. You know, I think that there are a
Speaker 2: lot of like long legged birds that I could think
Speaker 2: of that. You know, if I saw them on the runway,
Speaker 2: my immediate thought would be, yeah, this work.
Speaker 1: Well. Have you ever seen a secretary bird?
Speaker 2: I don't think I ever have seen a secretary bird.
Speaker 1: They are incredible birds that look like they are just
Speaker 1: built for fashion week. They have the most runway ready legs,
Speaker 1: They have these long eyelashes, they have orange eyeshadow. They're
Speaker 1: this lovely white gray and black color, and they have long,
Speaker 1: long legs, legs for days, and their black feathers kind
Speaker 1: of like they go down their thighs a little bit,
Speaker 1: so they look like they're wearing short yoga pants, and
Speaker 1: they absolutely do quite literally as well, because these are
Speaker 1: actually raptors. These are birds of prey and they are
Speaker 1: related to other raptors such as hawks and eagles.
Speaker 2: So I'm looking at a picture of the secretary bird.
Speaker 2: I really love the the the orange eyeshadow situation. It
Speaker 2: kind of looks like the birds are wearing just like
Speaker 2: a tiny little mask, so that like it's trying to
Speaker 2: be incognito. It doesn't want anybody to know. It's true.
Speaker 1: Masquerade.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, masquerade. The yoga pants, very good luck. The feathers,
Speaker 2: all of us, you know, all of this is is
Speaker 2: just marvelous.
Speaker 1: It's also got a fancy crest of feathers that can
Speaker 1: pop up. It is probably both in terms of mating
Speaker 1: to make them attractive, but also to help shield their eyes.
Speaker 1: It's like a very sexy visor.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Those those eyelashes are nuts. Like they like fake eyelashes.
Speaker 1: They totally win the eyelash game. I could never not, like,
Speaker 1: I would need I don't know, some kind of like
Speaker 1: eyelash surgery to get to the level of eyelash that
Speaker 1: these magnificent birds have. Yeah, so they are. They are
Speaker 1: quite I mean they are called secretary bird. Its kind
Speaker 1: of a sexist name in a way because it's just like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, they're like they're like, you're hot, secretary. They
Speaker 1: have the long eyelashes.
Speaker 2: I feel like that's that's something that's so I guess
Speaker 2: like funny and sad about the world. Is like you
Speaker 2: look at something and you think, like you know, like
Speaker 2: the name of an animal or something like that, and
Speaker 2: you think, oh, it's kind of cute, and then you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: that's deeply rooted in misogyny, got it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so they have these really long legs. Specifically, they
Speaker 1: have a long tarsus. So the tarsus like on this
Speaker 1: bird is similar to our shin bones in function, but
Speaker 1: it's actually a different part of the leg entirely. The
Speaker 1: birds like it looks like they have backwards knees, but
Speaker 1: that's actually the bird's ankles and their real knees are
Speaker 1: further up. And so like that long section that tarsus actually,
Speaker 1: like if it was on a human, it would be
Speaker 1: a really long ankle bone, but for the bird, it
Speaker 1: has the same function as like our shin bone.
Speaker 2: Okay, so well that's really interesting. So tell me about
Speaker 2: in this picture that you shared me with me of
Speaker 2: the secretary bird. It's just absolutely wrecking a snake. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so so please tell me more about its combat capabilities.
Speaker 1: Yes, so it is. These long legs are not just
Speaker 1: to impress. These are battle legs. So in the grasslands
Speaker 1: of sub Saharan Africa, where these birds live, they will
Speaker 1: walk the planes and go hunting. And they are actually
Speaker 1: the tallest wrapped in the world. They are over four
Speaker 1: feet tall, which is well over Yeah. No, they're they're
Speaker 1: they're quite tall. They're impressive. They actually have to bend
Speaker 1: their legs and stoop to drink water like it's it's
Speaker 1: a it's a. They have a lot of tall privilege.
Speaker 1: They can fly, but they do spend most of their
Speaker 1: time walking the grasslands stalking their prey on these gorgeous legs.
Speaker 1: So once they have cornered something, uh, they will stomp
Speaker 1: the dickens out of it. They can kick it so hard,
Speaker 1: they can kick it with a force that is five
Speaker 1: times their body weight, with this like surgical strike, just
Speaker 1: a bunch of power aimed at this poor little animal.
Speaker 1: They will go after lizards, snakes, small mammals. Uh. They
Speaker 1: will even sometimes kill the young offspring of gazelle's or
Speaker 1: cheetah cubs. So usually though, they go after small mammals, lizards,
Speaker 1: and snakes.
Speaker 2: So question, do you think that the reason that it
Speaker 2: doesn't fly everywhere is partly because like it, it knows
Speaker 2: how good its legs are. So it's just showing off.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you got it, flawn it, I mean
Speaker 1: really really it is because of this hunting strategy, because
Speaker 1: they are walking and stalking and then they see something
Speaker 1: move and then they just stomp on it until they've
Speaker 1: got themselves like a lizard pancake to eat.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's it's the sort of thing where
Speaker 2: it's like, if you have big biceps, why would you
Speaker 2: wear sleeves? Like I think it's worth those situations.
Speaker 1: Right, Like if you've got big butt, why would you
Speaker 1: wear pants?
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I've tried to argue this in front of a judge
Speaker 1: many times.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and the judge, you know, the judge almost bends.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But yeah, So for these birds, these thick thighs
Speaker 1: do end lives. They're interesting because you know, earlier we
Speaker 1: were talking about sexual dimorphism with the frog legged leaf beetle.
Speaker 1: With these ones, they actually are quite similar to each other,
Speaker 1: and they both try to impress one another during mating rituals,
Speaker 1: so they'll fly around and they do like mating displays
Speaker 1: on the ground where they kind of chase each other.
Speaker 1: So it's and then like once they are a couple,
Speaker 1: they're monogamous, so they will roost together, and even though
Speaker 1: they don't hunt like really close to one another, they
Speaker 1: tend to hunt sort of like within eyesight of each other.
Speaker 1: So they're a real power couple just stomping around killing
Speaker 1: things with their awesome legs.
Speaker 2: Ah relationship goals, so.
Speaker 1: Kind of in a scary twist. There's some speculation that
Speaker 1: terror birds, which is an extinct family of huge birds
Speaker 1: that had some species that grew to be over three
Speaker 1: meters tall that's about ten feet tall, may have used
Speaker 1: a similar hunting strategy. Now, to be clear, these terror
Speaker 1: birds are not related to modern day secretary birds. They
Speaker 1: were found in South and North America. They went extinct
Speaker 1: around one point eight million years ago. But based on
Speaker 1: their anatomy of their large legs, these long tarsus, they're
Speaker 1: very similar anatomically to the secretary bird in terms of
Speaker 1: their leg size in proportions, and so it may be
Speaker 1: a clue as to how terror birds hunted. And the
Speaker 1: speculation is that they stomped their prey to death. So
Speaker 1: if you can imagine this ten foot tall bird that
Speaker 1: just you know, thunders down around the planes and then
Speaker 1: if it catches up to you, it just kicks you
Speaker 1: until you are a smoothie.
Speaker 2: So I just love the insinuation that the reason that
Speaker 2: they're called terror birds is that an archaeologist, when they
Speaker 2: were dusting up the bird's bones, they saw how big
Speaker 2: it is and went.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's pretty much it. They're like they're scary glasses,
Speaker 1: got all fogged fogged up. Yeah yeah, Ty like spun
Speaker 1: around and shock.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he like ran and hid behind a desk or
Speaker 2: something like that.
Speaker 1: Oh, we're so mean to paleontologists.
Speaker 2: Hey, if they if they wanted, if they look, if
Speaker 2: they didn't want us to make fun of them. They
Speaker 2: shouldn't have been scared by a bird skeleton. That's all
Speaker 2: I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Were you scared by a bird? A tim foot tall bird.
Speaker 2: Not even a living bird?
Speaker 1: Yeah? All right, we're going to take a quick break
Speaker 1: and then when we come back, we're going to talk
Speaker 1: about the Jesus lizard. All right, Joey, We're going to
Speaker 1: talk about something called the Jesus lizard. Can you guess
Speaker 1: why it's called a Jesus lizard?
Speaker 2: It can turn water into wine and led to the
Speaker 2: creation of let's just say a kind of problematic.
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, I wish. So the Jesus lizard is called
Speaker 1: this because they can walk on water. Really, they can
Speaker 1: sprint on water. So if you imagine Jesus calmly walking
Speaker 1: on water, it's more of a desperate sprint situation. The
Speaker 1: key is speed here, So this is also known as
Speaker 1: the water walking basilisk. It's found in Central and South America,
Speaker 1: and it's pretty cool looking. There's a few species of it.
Speaker 1: They've got all in common. They have sort of like
Speaker 1: a sail that runs dorsally along its body in a crest.
Speaker 1: They're either green or brown. They either have spots or
Speaker 1: a light racing stripe down their sides, so they are
Speaker 1: quite interesting looking just visually.
Speaker 2: So what I love about Jesus lizards if you watch
Speaker 2: a video of them running across water, they oftentimes have
Speaker 2: this open mouth look on their face where it's like
Speaker 2: you know that they know what they're doing is an
Speaker 2: affront to God, and they're just like, oh no, oh, no, no,
Speaker 2: I don't know how I'm doing this either.
Speaker 1: They're running away from evangelists.
Speaker 2: So I really want to see, Like, look, if anybody
Speaker 2: wants to, like put some fan art together of Jesus
Speaker 2: running on the water with the same level of just
Speaker 2: like I would say, confusion and terror of Jesus lizard,
Speaker 2: that would be very funny.
Speaker 1: The same sort of stride with like big sandals that
Speaker 1: slap on the water, had a bicycle like to and fro. Yeah,
Speaker 1: very I would like to see this as well.
Speaker 2: It's not a calm walk. This is a very panicked walk.
Speaker 1: It is very much so. They they're not tiny. They
Speaker 1: can reach up to be around two and a half
Speaker 1: feet long, that's about seventy centimeters. So when they are running,
Speaker 1: they run bi pedally and this sort of side to
Speaker 1: side wobble that kind of looks like they're riding an
Speaker 1: invisible bike, which I think is probably another miracle that
Speaker 1: Jesus did riding an invisible bike. He's got your nose.
Speaker 1: He can do it all, just various party tricks. So
Speaker 1: they can run on water, and they can accomplish this
Speaker 1: due to their large, fringed, long toed feet. So this
Speaker 1: increase in surface area allows them to slap the water
Speaker 1: and distri their weight with each stride, and that slapping
Speaker 1: of the foot on the water creates a pocket of
Speaker 1: air which actually keeps the lizard buoyant and keeps it
Speaker 1: from sinking. And they kind of do this like back
Speaker 1: and forth or aside to side movement which helps them
Speaker 1: propel them forward, keeps their balance and as they push
Speaker 1: their foot down it does actually break the surface tension
Speaker 1: of the water and goes through the water. But because
Speaker 1: they've got this air pocket. It pushes them forward and
Speaker 1: then their foot re emerges, like if you're doing a
Speaker 1: sort of stroke with your arms. It's their foot that
Speaker 1: re emerges and then slaps the water again.
Speaker 2: Oh, just like how Jesus did it.
Speaker 1: Just like how Jesus did it, his legs kind of bicycled.
Speaker 2: What I think is really interesting about that is that,
Speaker 2: like I imagine, if that's how they walk on water,
Speaker 2: they probably can't stand on water.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they can't.
Speaker 2: They need motion to do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. In fact, they can only run around sixty feet
Speaker 1: or twenty meters before they get tired and they start
Speaker 1: sinking into the water.
Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like I feel like pre working
Speaker 2: with a personal trainer, that was about how far I
Speaker 2: could run just normally.
Speaker 1: Just normally, just on ground. Again, and they can run
Speaker 1: pretty fast. They can run around fifteen miles an hour
Speaker 1: or twenty four kilometers per hour, which may not sound
Speaker 1: super impressive, but for something that's only around two and
Speaker 1: a half feet long, like that's quite fast.
Speaker 2: The average human can run like twenty five to thirty
Speaker 2: miles an hour, so it's like that's like, not, that's
Speaker 2: not that much slower than people yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's on water, so you know, it's like, yeah, totally,
Speaker 1: let's not be too smug here. Yes we can run faster,
Speaker 1: but we can't do it on water. But yeah, so
Speaker 1: it has these very powerful leg muscles that allow it
Speaker 1: to run sort of sprint really fast. That gives it
Speaker 1: that slapping motion on the water, keeps it buoyant, and
Speaker 1: it mostly uses the skill to evade predators because the
Speaker 1: problem with swimming is swimming is slower. You're also more
Speaker 1: at risk of getting chewed on by something in the water.
Speaker 1: But if it's just running across the water, it's gained
Speaker 1: so much distance from a predator who cannot swim that fast,
Speaker 1: and it's a great escape strategy.
Speaker 2: Also, if you swim, you get your clothes wet. You've
Speaker 2: got to either throw them in the dryer or leaveing
Speaker 2: the hang dry. So like, I feel like the Jesus
Speaker 2: lizard really really has practicality in mind when they're running
Speaker 2: across the water.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, if you're a jaguar and you just
Speaker 1: like got your hair done, like that's that's super annoying.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so yeah, this is you know, their legs, their
Speaker 1: thighs performed miracles of running across the water and somehow
Speaker 1: we don't have a cult around this lizard that makes
Speaker 1: people get mad at other people for being gay. It's weird.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like the Jesus lizard cult is probably
Speaker 2: very tolerant and very accepting of people how they are.
Speaker 1: Like we have. Uh, there are entire species of lizards
Speaker 1: where they're all females, and so, you know, like I
Speaker 1: think that there has to be some tolerance among lizards
Speaker 1: of you know, breaking gender, heteronormative Uh, you know tradition.
Speaker 2: That I say.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, Well before we go, Uh, we're gonna play
Speaker 1: a little game. Do you'll play a little game?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm excited about this.
Speaker 1: This is the Mystery Animal Sound game. Yess who's squawking?
Speaker 1: Every week I play mister Animal Sound, and you the listener,
Speaker 1: and you the guest, try to guess who is making
Speaker 1: that sound. It can be any animal in the world
Speaker 1: or out of the world, probably still in the world.
Speaker 1: But I'm not gonna make any promises. So, uh, last
Speaker 1: week's Mystery Animals sound hint was this, You'd better not
Speaker 1: step over the line with this grounded animal. All right,
Speaker 1: you got any guesses?
Speaker 2: Okay, So I'm going to I'm gonna this is this
Speaker 2: is kind of a shot in the dark. Guess I'm
Speaker 2: gonna say that that's some kind of a finch like.
Speaker 2: I can't necessarily say what kind of finch, but it
Speaker 2: seems like it's very chirpy. It's clearly like a very
Speaker 2: small bird. So yeah, I'm gonna say it's some kind
Speaker 2: it's like a goldfinch or something.
Speaker 1: It does sound very finch like. Unfortunately, no, it is
Speaker 1: not a finch. Congratulations to Anna A, who gives correctly
Speaker 1: that this is the thirteen lined ground squirrel. Yeah, squirrel.
Speaker 1: It is a ground squirrel. So yeah, it sounds so birdlike,
Speaker 1: but it is a little rodent. It's commonly mistaken for
Speaker 1: a chipmunk. Actually, they look sort of chipmunk like, and
Speaker 1: they are related, but they're also related to prairie dogs.
Speaker 2: So I think that after hearing this, and after hearing
Speaker 2: how the squirrel sounds, I think that instead of a
Speaker 2: three striped ground squirrel, I think we should call it
Speaker 2: what it really is, which is a.
Speaker 1: Liar, a lying squirrel. Yeah, so they really do sound birdlike.
Speaker 1: So they are small. They weigh under three hundred grounds,
Speaker 1: which is about nine and a half ounces, and they
Speaker 1: are found in central North America. They hibernate throughout fall
Speaker 1: and winter, and they eat seeds, grass, insects, and even
Speaker 1: small mammals to put on weight before hibernation. So as
Speaker 1: cute as they are, they're definitely.
Speaker 2: Murdered just to make it so that every word of
Speaker 2: its name is a lie. I think it would be
Speaker 2: really funny if instead if it's called a ground squirrel,
Speaker 2: but it can fly.
Speaker 1: Sadly, No, the sound you just heard, this trill is
Speaker 1: actually used by female ground squirrels to warn its family
Speaker 1: to hide in case of danger. So other than small
Speaker 1: family units, they are not very social, so their introverts,
Speaker 1: their liars just kind of misanthropic or missquirrel thropic.
Speaker 2: How dare they.
Speaker 1: Onto this week's mystery Animals sound? The hint is this.
Speaker 1: This is a very common bird. But you might not
Speaker 1: recognize this sound unless you're close friends with one.
Speaker 3: All right, can you guess he was making that sound?
Speaker 2: You said that that was a bird.
Speaker 1: It is a bird, yes.
Speaker 2: So, and you said that it only reveals how it
Speaker 2: sounds to its friends. So I'm gonna have two guesses.
Speaker 2: One is it sounds like it's a bird being devoured
Speaker 2: by a cat. And two I'm gonna say that it's
Speaker 2: a secret bird. That's its name, Okay to keep how
Speaker 2: it sounds a.
Speaker 1: Secret a secret bird or a seed crit bird bird
Speaker 1: who likes seeds to be secret. Well, you will find
Speaker 1: out the answer on next Creature Feature where we will
Speaker 1: reveal it. If you think you know who is making
Speaker 1: that sound, you can write to me at Creature Feature
Speaker 1: Pod at gmail dot com. You can also write to
Speaker 1: me any questions. I will occasionally do listener questions episodes
Speaker 1: and I try to respond to your emails. Joey, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for joining me this time. Where could
Speaker 1: people find you?
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks so much for having me. It's always so
Speaker 2: fun to be on Creature Feature. Yeah, you can find
Speaker 2: me at Joey Tainment on Blue Sky, TikTok and Twitter
Speaker 2: slash x and then you can find me on Instagram
Speaker 2: and threads at Joey Cliff with five or six eyes.
Speaker 2: The reason for that to a twelve year old took
Speaker 2: Joey clip with one eye and I just have to deal.
Speaker 2: And then you can you can check out my Comedy
Speaker 2: Central digital series at gone Native dot tv, and you
Speaker 2: can watch you Bet Rangers on Netflix so that's that's
Speaker 2: all my stuff. And I'm also gonna plug this great
Speaker 2: podcast called Creature Feature. This is your first episode. You
Speaker 2: should listen to more episodes. It's always so fun.
Speaker 1: We've done a recursive plug. You're plugging the podcast on
Speaker 1: the podcast going to break the universe. Oh no, pard All,
Speaker 1: well yeah you can. The thing that I'm promoting now
Speaker 1: is my TikTok which I just started. Uh, it's Katie
Speaker 1: Golden on TikTok k A T I E G O
Speaker 1: L D I N. I don't know what I'm doing,
Speaker 1: but please watch it anyways, I guess uh, And thank
Speaker 1: you guys so much for listening. If you're enjoying the
Speaker 1: show and you smash that rating and review, I would
Speaker 1: be very very grateful. And thanks to the Space Classics
Speaker 1: for their super awesome song ex So Lumina. Creature Feature
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Speaker 1: Podcasts or he guess what where are you listening to
Speaker 1: your favorite shows? I'm not your mother. See you next Wednesday.