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Speaker 1: This is Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. Hi, everyone,

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Speaker 1: welcome to an episode of Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty.

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Speaker 1: So Father's Day we just had it. I Father's Day

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Speaker 1: is really special for a lot of people. For some people,

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Speaker 1: it's not, which I really sympathize with. I can't even

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Speaker 1: imagine what it's like or what it was like for

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Speaker 1: some of you to not have the kind of dad

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Speaker 1: that I had, and hopefully you had a brother or

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Speaker 1: an uncle or a friend or you know, a foundation

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Speaker 1: that helped you out, or your mom. Your sale mom

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Speaker 1: was phenomenal, you know, having dual characters, father and mother.

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Speaker 1: I consider myself extremely lucky because I had great parents.

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Speaker 1: My dad and I were extremely extremely close. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if this is PC to be frank, I don't

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Speaker 1: really care anymore, you know, cancel culture is so ridiculous anyway.

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Speaker 1: But my dad used to tell me as a kid

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Speaker 1: growing up, like you're me and drag because I resembled

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Speaker 1: him so much in personality.

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Speaker 2: We sort of thought the same in a lot of ways.

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Speaker 2: And certainly.

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Speaker 1: Me growing up in the business and being exposed to

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Speaker 1: so many different people and all ethnicities, like all of

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Speaker 1: it definitely broadened my horizons a lot. I have a

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Speaker 1: you know, huge acceptance for everybody out there.

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Speaker 2: My dad did too, but.

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Speaker 1: He was just he was so intelligent, and he was

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Speaker 1: so thoughtful with his words and how he treated others.

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Speaker 1: I just remember him as being, you know, a rock

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Speaker 1: in a lot of ways. I think that what's incredibly

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Speaker 1: important for fathers and daughters is that because that relationship

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Speaker 1: is so special. I think fathers and daughters are you know,

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Speaker 1: incredibly close. It's actually later in life that mothers and

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Speaker 1: daughters get closer. At least that was the case for me.

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Speaker 1: But I I always knew that no matter what I did,

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Speaker 1: my dad was going to hear me out, talk to

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Speaker 1: me about it, not judge me. He may say, hey,

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Speaker 1: you can make a better decision, and you should make

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Speaker 1: better decisions in the future, but he would talk me

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Speaker 1: through that decision and sort of the reasons why my

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Speaker 1: decision was not right. But again, I never felt judged.

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Speaker 1: I never felt like he was turning his back on me.

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Speaker 1: I always felt that I had, you know, a champion

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Speaker 1: in my corner. I always felt that, you know, he'd

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Speaker 1: be like, okay, you know, we're bearing the body again,

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Speaker 1: probably not PC, but like I said, I don't care.

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Speaker 1: So my dad always challenged me mentally from a young age.

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Speaker 1: When I could first read him and my mom, uh

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Speaker 1: put newspapers in front of myself and my brother, and

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Speaker 1: when we all had dinner collectively as a family, because

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Speaker 1: that was a requirement, we had to have read the

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Speaker 1: newspaper and discuss world events, discuss what was on you know,

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Speaker 1: that front page of the newspaper, and really and then

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Speaker 1: if we kept reading the newspaper, you know how we

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Speaker 1: felt about other things. Obviously, when you're like five or six,

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Speaker 1: you're like, I don't really know what any of this means.

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Speaker 1: But it was something that continued throughout my life, so

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Speaker 1: that when I started comprehending what those newspaper articles we're

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Speaker 1: talking about. And this was you know, obviously back in

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Speaker 1: the seventies when I think, I don't know, we're newspapers

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Speaker 1: more honest back then, I actually don't know.

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Speaker 2: I feel like they were.

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Speaker 1: I feel like we live in a day and age

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Speaker 1: of clickbait and there's not really a lot of honest journalists.

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Speaker 1: But you know, my dad would have us, my brother

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Speaker 1: and I like decipher what this was and what it meant.

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Speaker 1: And again when we got older, putting our own opinions

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Speaker 1: into it and having really intelligent and calm debates. And

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Speaker 1: it's only helped me in school, it helped my brother,

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Speaker 1: he was on the debate team, because yes, we were

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Speaker 1: able to formulate our opinions, but we had people at

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Speaker 1: home that would counteract that, that would even if they

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Speaker 1: believed in the same things we believed in, they would

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Speaker 1: take the opposite role, just so we would have to

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Speaker 1: come up with intelligent arguments for what we had sort

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Speaker 1: of translated from that newspaper and our you know, young

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Speaker 1: brains had figured whatever out. So forever grateful for that.

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Speaker 1: I'm forever grateful for his you know, intense love, the

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Speaker 1: fact that I always felt like I had a place

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Speaker 1: to run to and that I had someone to talk to.

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Speaker 1: My dad was you know, very very very sick, and

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Speaker 1: I was growing up. He had you know, his first,

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Speaker 1: I think heart attack in his thirties, and I remember

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Speaker 1: it was in the Dallas airport. But he still managed

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Speaker 1: to bring me a bear stuffed teddy bear that he

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Speaker 1: had bought me in Dallas, which I still have that

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Speaker 1: teddy bear. I think to grow up loving someone to

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Speaker 1: that degree and then have them be so sick impacted

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Speaker 1: me in a lot of ways that I didn't realize

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Speaker 1: until I was a lot older.

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Speaker 2: I think.

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Speaker 1: Watching him go in and out of the hospital, and

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Speaker 1: the fear that I constantly felt of is this going

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Speaker 1: to be the last time I see him? Is he

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Speaker 1: going to die? Is he not going to come out

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Speaker 1: of the hospital. It definitely brought up feelings of abandonment.

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Speaker 1: But it wasn't like that he was doing that to me.

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Speaker 2: It was more that I was.

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Speaker 1: Putting I was projecting that onto myself because I was

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Speaker 1: so scared that the most important man in my life

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Speaker 1: was not going to be there that I there was

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Speaker 1: part of me that sort of shut down as I

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Speaker 1: got older, and I think I definitely we've discussed this before,

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Speaker 1: you guys, were I chose men that were not like

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Speaker 1: my dad, that we're not that kind and that gracious

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Speaker 1: and that great. I chose men that it wouldn't necessarily

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Speaker 1: break my heart if they dumped me and left me,

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Speaker 1: that I would survive and be okay and probably move

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Speaker 1: on pretty quickly. There's only a few that mattered to me,

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Speaker 1: and they know who they are, So you guys, but

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Speaker 1: you know, having a father that was in and out hospitals,

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Speaker 1: and I actually, at one point in time in my

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Speaker 1: life believed that I could actually heal. Like I don't

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Speaker 1: know what got into my brain, but I was like,

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Speaker 1: I can heal. And I remember we were at the

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Speaker 1: hospital and I said to my brother and to my mom,

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Speaker 1: I was like, you guys need to, you know, go

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Speaker 1: out of the room, the hospital room and let me

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Speaker 1: be alone with dad. And my brother chuckled at me.

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Speaker 1: When I was like, I think I can heal. He

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Speaker 1: was like okay, And I, you know, obviously tried. I failed.

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Speaker 1: I was not gifted with that gift. But it was

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Speaker 1: funny because I thought my dad was kind of like asleep,

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Speaker 1: and so I was talking to myself about like, okay,

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Speaker 1: you know, Shannon, like concentrate, close your eyes and put

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Speaker 1: all of your energy through your hands, and you'll be

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Speaker 1: able to heal. And at some point, like my eyes

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Speaker 1: were closed, my hands were like hovering over my father,

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Speaker 1: and I heard this chuckle. My dad had the best

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Speaker 1: laugh in the world, and when he really found something funny,

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Speaker 1: he would laugh so hard, but like no noise, just

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Speaker 1: his entire face would wrinkle and tears would pour out

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Speaker 1: of his face, and there was there would be like

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Speaker 1: a little like tiny bit of noise. And I heard

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Speaker 1: this noise and I opened my eyes and my dad

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Speaker 1: was like doubled over basically from his hospital bed, laughing,

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Speaker 1: hysterically crying, and was like, Oh, I love you, baby,

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Speaker 1: I love you so much. It was it was a

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Speaker 1: very special moment. Which really strange is that I was

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Speaker 1: always present when something happened with my dad. If he

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Speaker 1: had and I don't know, my dad must have had

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Speaker 1: like ten strokes, eleven heart attacks, something like that. My

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Speaker 1: mom were here, she could tell you, probably the exact number,

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Speaker 1: but it was a lot. Quinn tubled bypass heart surgery,

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Speaker 1: kidney failure. He was on dialysis. But I was always there.

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Speaker 1: It didn't matter, like for some reason, it happened when

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Speaker 1: and I was close by or in LA and I

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Speaker 1: could go, you know, rush to the hospital and meet

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Speaker 1: them there. And his final I guess it was a

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Speaker 1: stroke that sent a blood clot in his brain and

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Speaker 1: killed him. I was not there. I was in New York.

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Speaker 1: I was in New York to do I was on

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Speaker 1: a book tour and I was getting ready at the

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Speaker 1: hotel to go do press and I got that phone call.

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Speaker 1: He hadn't passed yet, but it was my mom and

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Speaker 1: she was sobbing, and she was like, this is not good.

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Speaker 1: And I left all my stuff in the hotel room,

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Speaker 1: jumped in a cab, went.

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Speaker 2: To the airport. I was hysterical.

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Speaker 1: They didn't even want to let me on the plane,

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Speaker 1: and you know, they did and I was in the

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Speaker 1: very back and I was sobbing. People just kept looking

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Speaker 1: at me, like what is wrong with this girl? And

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Speaker 1: I got off the plane and my phone got serviced again,

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Speaker 1: and my mom had kept calling me and told me

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Speaker 1: that he had passed, which is really interesting because you know,

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Speaker 1: I prided myself on always being there and him always

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Speaker 1: knowing how much I loved him, and that he was,

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Speaker 1: along with my mom, along with my brother, like my

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Speaker 1: number one priority. But my dad was like my heart,

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Speaker 1: you know, he he was just really special. And to

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Speaker 1: get to the hospital and to realize that you don't

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Speaker 1: get to, you know, look at them and say I

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Speaker 1: love you and for them to hear you was devastating

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Speaker 1: to me. And then I had to click into like

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Speaker 1: a totally different gear. I had to click into the

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Speaker 1: gear of the person who can get it all done

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Speaker 1: and pull it together and be there for my brother

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Speaker 1: be there for my mother, make funeral arrangements, pick out

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Speaker 1: a coffin. Even though he was being cremated, we saw

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Speaker 1: at a coffin. It was just I think it took

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Speaker 1: me a while to really process. One of the first

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Speaker 1: times that it started processing was after the funeral. After

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Speaker 1: the memorial service, my best friend Chris said he had

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Speaker 1: this beautiful ranch in the hills of Malibu, and he

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Speaker 1: said to me, you know, I think you and your

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Speaker 1: mom should go stay at the ranch.

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Speaker 2: For a little bit. Get out of the house, get

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Speaker 2: out of.

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Speaker 1: You know, your normal environment where you're used to seeing

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Speaker 1: your dad or your husband in the case of my mom,

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Speaker 1: and just go, you know, connect with nature. And and

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Speaker 1: we went there and he had had, you know, food

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Speaker 1: taken to the house, like we literally had to do nothing.

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Speaker 1: And I it was at night, and his property is

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Speaker 1: on like Chumash land really and I definitely maybe it's

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Speaker 1: because I'm a part Native American Indian. I definitely feel

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Speaker 1: like energy there. And I went outside by myself and

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Speaker 1: I said on the steps and this wind picked up

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Speaker 1: lent my prefaces by saying, like, one of the things

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Speaker 1: that was really hurting me was that I didn't my

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Speaker 1: dad died. I did all of this stuff, funeral, blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah, but I felt like I felt nothing. I

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Speaker 1: didn't feel connected. And I always thought that, like when

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Speaker 1: he died, I would still feel very connected, and I didn't.

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Speaker 1: All of a sudden, it was like this giant space,

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Speaker 1: empty space inside of me, and that was really devastating.

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Speaker 1: But so I went outside on the steps and this

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Speaker 1: wind kind of blew and I felt like this warmth

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Speaker 1: come around me and I heard him say it's okay, baby,

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Speaker 1: it's going to be okay.

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Speaker 2: I love you, and I was.

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Speaker 1: Like, oh my God, like finally, and that's when I

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Speaker 1: started feeling the connection to my dad again, which I

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Speaker 1: do all the time. I mean, I after that, it

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Speaker 1: was like the floodgates opened, you you know. It was

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Speaker 1: just sobbing and acceptance. And my mom really helped me

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Speaker 1: with that acceptance of because I blamed myself for not

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Speaker 1: being there, for putting work as a priority, even though

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Speaker 1: I obviously didn't know my dad was, you know, going

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Speaker 1: to die, I still blamed myself and my mom really

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Speaker 1: helped me go through that, helped me realize that, you know,

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Speaker 1: sometimes people that really love you choose to pass away

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Speaker 1: when you're not present, they want you to remember them

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Speaker 1: in a totally different way. And I kind of recognize

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Speaker 1: that with my dad now that I don't think he

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Speaker 1: would have wanted me to see him like that, which

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Speaker 1: is interesting also because there are moments, not many most

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Speaker 1: of the time, I wish my dad was still with

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Speaker 1: me almost ninety nine percent of the time, but there's

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Speaker 1: like one percent where I think to myself, thank God

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Speaker 1: he's not here, because it would devastate him that I'm

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Speaker 1: so sick. It would you know, every time a protocol

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Speaker 1: stops working, it would kill my dad. Every time you know,

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Speaker 1: we had to see me getting an infusion or shots

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Speaker 1: or you know, all of the crazy things that cancer

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Speaker 1: patients go through. It would dostate my father. I'm sure

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Speaker 1: of it. So sometimes I'm like, thank God, it's not here.

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Speaker 1: But for the most part, I, you know, wish she

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Speaker 1: was because it's a totally different kind of warmth and love.

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Speaker 1: I'm again super lucky because I have a mom that much.

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Speaker 1: You know, later in life, we bonded in a very

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Speaker 1: different way than my dad and I were bonded, And

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Speaker 1: I think it's a bond that I needed, and I

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Speaker 1: think it's a bond that continues to grow and adjust

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Speaker 1: and evolve, and you know, and she's a fantastic mother.

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Speaker 1: But again it's it's a totally different relationship. So Father's

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Speaker 1: Day can sometimes be hard for me. It can be

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Speaker 1: hard for you know, my mom, who has vowed that

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Speaker 1: she'll never date and never marry, and selfishly in the beginning,

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Speaker 1: when my father first passed, I was like, damn straight.

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Speaker 1: And now so much time has passed and I look

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Speaker 1: at my mom and I'm like, I don't want her

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Speaker 1: to be lonely. I don't want her to be sad

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Speaker 1: like people sometimes need, you know, companionship. Most of us

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Speaker 1: need companionship. I don't need companionship. I have my dog

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Speaker 1: who's a great companion, and I have like the best

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Speaker 1: friends in the world, and I'm pretty happy alone.

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Speaker 2: But you know, my mom had one love.

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Speaker 1: Her entire life, which was my dad, and for a

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Speaker 1: large majority of their marriage he was very ill and

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00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:05,440
Speaker 1: she had to take care of him. And I just wonder, like, yes,

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Speaker 1: I take her on trips and I take her to

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Speaker 1: places that she's never been, but it's not the same

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Speaker 1: as going with a companion that loves you in a

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Speaker 1: different way than your daughter loves you, or then your

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Speaker 1: son loves you.

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Speaker 2: So I think I'm past that.

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Speaker 1: I know, I'm past that selfish stage where I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, in my head, I was like, yeah, damn straight,

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Speaker 1: you know, honor my father, because now it's about honoring

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Speaker 1: my mother as well, and the things that she deserves

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Speaker 1: in life, and she deserves complete happiness and to not

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Speaker 1: feel alone. Not that she feels alone. I spend an

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Speaker 1: extraordinary amount of time with her. Sometimes we look at

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Speaker 1: each other and she'll be like, hey, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: go back to my house because I need a break

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Speaker 1: from you, And I'm like, yeah, we're pretty funny together again.

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Speaker 1: Going back to like, it's very different relationship then my dad.

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Speaker 1: There was, you know, something very very very gentle about

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Speaker 1: my relationship with my father, Whereas my mom and I

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Speaker 1: argued a lot, and I think we still argue some

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Speaker 1: not you know, it's like one percent compared to what

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00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:23,360
Speaker 1: we used to. But you know, it's that like challenging

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Speaker 1: two women, strong women sort of challenging one another. Whereas

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Speaker 1: my dad was super strong, but his entire goal in

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Speaker 1: life was to make me strong. His whole thing was

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00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:41,680
Speaker 1: I don't want you to you know, just go get

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Speaker 1: married and and that like, if that's what you want,

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00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:48,720
Speaker 1: good for you, But there are other options out there

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00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 1: for women. And again this was you know, I was

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Speaker 1: born in seventy one, that's right, people, I'm old, and

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00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:02,919
Speaker 1: so things weren't as progressive as they are now. Not

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00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:09,000
Speaker 1: that we're fully progressive, we certainly are not, but for

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Speaker 1: him to be that man who was like, I want

295
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:19,480
Speaker 1: you to know that your gender means nothing, ginger means zero.

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Speaker 1: Anybody can can reach a goal. Whether you're male, female, gay,

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00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:31,360
Speaker 1: transit doesn't matter, like you can reach that goal. And

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Speaker 1: he was big on that with me, which you know

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Speaker 1: is incredibly special growing up too, to have someone that

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Speaker 1: just anytime I would come home from work and be like,

301
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:51,880
Speaker 1: oh god, you know like male producers and this one

302
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,800
Speaker 1: threatened me with like the freaking mob and you know,

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00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,879
Speaker 1: this one touched me inappropriately, and my dad would be like, no,

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00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:02,320
Speaker 1: you don't take that. Fight back, absolutely, fight back, report them,

305
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Speaker 1: do whatever.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: He would come to set with me sometimes just to

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Speaker 1: watch over me.

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Speaker 2: So it's hard to miss that as much as I do,

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Speaker 2: But I also feel.

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Speaker 1: So lucky that I had him for as long as

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Speaker 1: I had him In my life. It was forty something.

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Speaker 1: I think when he passed away, that's a long time

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Speaker 1: to have a father. I guess could definitely be longer,

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Speaker 1: but that was the amount of time that I got

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Speaker 1: and then God took him.

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Speaker 2: And the one thing I sort of know, and that.

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Speaker 1: Also relaxes me, is that I know I get to

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Speaker 1: see him when I pass away, and that's kind of

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Speaker 1: a cool thing. And I get to see him healthy

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00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:04,480
Speaker 1: and happy and you know, thriving in his environment with God,

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00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:09,680
Speaker 1: which is pretty cool. So that's, you know, my relationship

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00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:13,480
Speaker 1: with my father, which was great. Not to say that

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00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:18,600
Speaker 1: there weren't complications, because I think everybody has complications with

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Speaker 1: their parents. It's just part of growing up. And and

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Speaker 1: also my you know, because he was so sick and

327
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:31,479
Speaker 1: oh he had diabetes and high blood pressure and heart disease.

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Speaker 1: I think that it impacted as he got older and sicker,

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Speaker 1: it definitely impacted his mental health. And we all in

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Speaker 1: the family, my brother and my mother and myself, we

331
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:48,399
Speaker 1: all had to learn to cope with that, which was

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Speaker 1: not easy. So yeah, that's my relationship with my dad.

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Speaker 2: Trying to think if like, you know.

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00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 1: We we shared a love of cooking, so I love

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00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 1: to cook, and my dad loved to cook, but he

336
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:12,400
Speaker 1: would make cooking like a very special experience. He would

337
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 1: put on pavarati, he would open up a bottle of

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00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:20,199
Speaker 1: red wine, and I would stand on like a little,

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00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:24,840
Speaker 1: you know, step stool and help him cook, and he

340
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:26,679
Speaker 1: would break it all down for me. He was an

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00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:31,879
Speaker 1: amazing cook actually, and so cooking I always sort of

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00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:36,119
Speaker 1: romanticized cooking. I thought that it was just this beautiful

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00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:39,320
Speaker 1: experience that you did with someone that you loved, whether

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00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:42,960
Speaker 1: it be paternal love or whatever kind of love, and

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00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 1: that it what cooking did, is when you were cooking

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Speaker 1: for others. It was my friend Christy, who you guys

347
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 1: have heard about. She owned Christie's Village Cafe in Malibu.

348
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Speaker 1: She always says, my love language is food, and I

349
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:05,639
Speaker 1: guess that's kind of what my dad was teaching me,

350
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 1: along with the fact that we loved to cook together

351
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,920
Speaker 1: and then you know, serve my brother and my mom.

352
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 2: But his love language a lot of it. He hit

353
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Speaker 2: a lot of.

354
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 1: Different languages of love, but one of them was cooking.

355
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:22,359
Speaker 1: Was he would be so proud, like the dish turned

356
00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:25,439
Speaker 1: out perfect, and oftentimes they were. So that was something

357
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 1: that we did together. We also continued reading the newspaper

358
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,679
Speaker 1: up until he died. We always talked about world events.

359
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 1: We always had sort of healthy debates, or we were

360
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 1: in complete agreement, just depended on the subject. We were

361
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:47,120
Speaker 1: just connected and again incredibly similar that it was easy

362
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: to have hobbies, to have things that we'd like to

363
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 1: do together, and they could be really simple, like I said,

364
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:01,679
Speaker 1: just me, you know, going to my parents' house and

365
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,320
Speaker 1: sitting down with him and you're like, okay, you know,

366
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 1: this is the latest, this is what's.

367
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 2: Happening in the world. What do you think?

368
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:12,280
Speaker 1: And even our debates were like fun and lively. They

369
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 1: didn't ever feel threatening, are bad. And what's funny is

370
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 1: you know, you always have one parent that's lenient and

371
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:40,159
Speaker 1: you have one that's a disciplinarian. My poor mother she

372
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 1: got the role of disciplinarian. And my dad was just

373
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 1: he was like a teddy bear. He was a big

374
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,920
Speaker 1: teddy bear that would just wrap his arms around you.

375
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 1: It was really funny. I can't One of my exes

376
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 1: who was on the podcast, I think it was Rob,

377
00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:01,159
Speaker 1: said that, you know my dad was this like man

378
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 1: and very intimidating. But what's funny is that he was

379
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 1: just a teddy bear. This was not someone that anybody

380
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 1: needed to be scared of. I'll tell you guys a story.

381
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:16,920
Speaker 2: I was, I don't know young.

382
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:22,439
Speaker 1: We were living in palace thirties, and my father and

383
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 1: mother did not believe in hitting at all. They believed

384
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:34,919
Speaker 1: in you could discipline a child without hitting them. But

385
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:39,160
Speaker 1: I had done something that was apparently quite bad, maybe

386
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:45,920
Speaker 1: like six, I don't know, and my dad said to me, okay,

387
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:51,679
Speaker 1: it's time for your first banking. I was like, really,

388
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 1: little girl. He said, yes, you know, like this is bad.

389
00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:58,399
Speaker 1: You need to learn that you can't do stuff like this.

390
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 1: There's repercussions. And so I said, okay, Daddy, can I

391
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 1: please go to my room and compose myself first. He

392
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,119
Speaker 1: looked at his watch and he said, yes, you have

393
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 1: two minutes and you have to come back down. So

394
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 1: I ran up to my room and I found, you know,

395
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:20,399
Speaker 1: softcover books, and I stuffed them down the back of

396
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 1: my pants. Little did I know, because it was like six,

397
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:28,800
Speaker 1: that my butt was a perfect like rectangle. So I

398
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,600
Speaker 1: went back downstairs and I looked at my dad and

399
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 1: I said, okay, Daddy, I'm ready for my punishment. You're

400
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:38,119
Speaker 1: right I deserve it. And I bent over his lap

401
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:43,119
Speaker 1: because I think we'd seen it on TV or something

402
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,919
Speaker 1: of a child being you know, not really spanked, but

403
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,960
Speaker 1: it was going to be spanked or whatever, and that's

404
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,800
Speaker 1: how they did it on TV or wherever we saw it.

405
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 1: And so I bent over his knee, and you know,

406
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 1: my butt underneath my chords. I remember I was wearing

407
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 1: corduways was a rectangle. And my father started laughing hysterically again,

408
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 1: tears pouring down his face. And I just remember being like, oh,

409
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 1: I think I got out of this, and I did.

410
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 1: He was never going to spank me anyway. My dad

411
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:25,160
Speaker 1: did not have the capability of doing that at all.

412
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:29,200
Speaker 1: It was one of those threats of like, so that's

413
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:31,640
Speaker 1: how my dad was as a disciplinarian. You just had

414
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 1: to stick a book down your pants, or you just

415
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:39,520
Speaker 1: had to make him laugh. But honestly, he he was

416
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:42,960
Speaker 1: never the disciplinarian my mother was. And my mom never

417
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 1: raised a hand to us. She didn't believe in that either.

418
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 1: And so just having a father like that, it's like

419
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 1: you learn you have traits that you share. Yes, we

420
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 1: both had tempers, for sure, I got I definitely got it.

421
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 1: Temper from my father. But I also got from him

422
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 1: the the ability of, even when I had a temper,

423
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 1: to think things through and to display my temper in

424
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 1: an intelligent way. It wasn't until I think towards the

425
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: end of nine of two and zero that I went

426
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 1: to a therapist and learned to count to like three,

427
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 1: and of three didn't calm me down.

428
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 2: I had to count to ten because.

429
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 1: I just you know, my dad was quick, and I

430
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 1: was quick like my dad, like we had a retort

431
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 1: for everything. Somebody said something else and we were like,

432
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 1: oh yeah. And I had to learn for my career,

433
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 1: for the workplace that I couldn't have that quick a retort,

434
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 1: especially being a woman that was not tolerated. The men

435
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 1: did not like that. The men were like, you know,

436
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:58,200
Speaker 1: who does this bitch think she is?

437
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 2: And that's right. Back then we were called bitch, which

438
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 2: my dad.

439
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 1: Did not like.

440
00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 2: Oh gosh.

441
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:07,280
Speaker 1: I came home and said something about, you know, a

442
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 1: man on a set calling me a bitch. It was like,

443
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 1: hide the keys. Hide the keys so Dad doesn't jump

444
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 1: in a car and go get them at their house

445
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 1: and sit them down and have a conversation with them.

446
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 2: So I mean.

447
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:27,880
Speaker 1: Tempers, yes, but I think I also got from my

448
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 1: father a large capacity to love, a large capacity to forgive,

449
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 1: often to my own detriment, and I also got the

450
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:45,200
Speaker 1: ability to stand up for myself from him. It was,

451
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 1: you know, he ingrained it in me. Him and Michael

452
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 1: Landon basically ingrained in my brain that I was intelligent

453
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 1: and that was going to get me in a lot

454
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:00,280
Speaker 1: of trouble, and that I should stick up from my health.

455
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 1: And yes, I could have learned how to do it

456
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 1: better when I was eighteen, but hey, eighteen years old,

457
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:09,520
Speaker 1: I'm not going to keep apologizing for stuff like that

458
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,400
Speaker 1: because life is too short, and it gets a little

459
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 1: ridiculous after a while that people want to keep bringing

460
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 1: up your past. I think those people who do that

461
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 1: must be extremely bored in life.

462
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 2: And I am not.

463
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 1: So moving on, I kind of a lot of other traits.

464
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 1: My mom would again be able to list them all.

465
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 1: But I know I got his sense of humor. We

466
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 1: both have a dark, dark, dark, dark sense of humor.

467
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 1: We laugh at things that are completely inappropriate, and I'm

468
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 1: the girl who and I don't mean it because I

469
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 1: love everyone and I'll be there to help anyone, especially

470
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:55,920
Speaker 1: my friends. But I remember my hairdresser, un Charmed, Susannah Consinikis.

471
00:31:56,520 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 1: She We were in I think Canada, doing a movie together,

472
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 1: and we were trying to hustle across the street because

473
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:09,480
Speaker 1: the light had changed and still laugh it's horrible. I

474
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 1: think it's not a reaction to being funny. I think

475
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:18,160
Speaker 1: it's a reaction to like pure panic. She fell in

476
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 1: the middle of the crosswalk and I could not stop

477
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 1: laughing and all and I was laughing, but I kept

478
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 1: yelling at her, you have to get up, you have

479
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 1: to get up, you have to get up, my dad.

480
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 1: I don't think that's part of the darkness of humor. Again,

481
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 1: I think that him and I just panicked when somebody

482
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 1: got hurt or somebody might be like, it was just

483
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 1: a panic moment. So I inherited that trait from him,

484
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 1: which good bad. I don't know is one of those.

485
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 1: And his thirst for learning, his thirst for accepting people,

486
00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 1: his thirst for you know, always seeing both sides.

487
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 2: Of an argument and giving allowance to people.

488
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:14,880
Speaker 1: He was very much like, we are not all built

489
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 1: the same, We're not all going to believe the same things.

490
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 1: All that we need to do is practice kindness and tolerance.

491
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 1: And respect the fact that somebody else might feel differently

492
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:33,440
Speaker 1: about a subject. I definitely inherited that from him. I

493
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 1: think I'm very, very very open and accept everyone. But

494
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 1: I know that people don't agree with me on certain things,

495
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 1: and that's fine. I accept the accept that they have

496
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 1: a different opinion than me. That's you know, God gave

497
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 1: us free will, Thank you God. So with free will,

498
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 1: we're all gonna go down our own pass and our

499
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 1: own system of beliefs. I can't, you know, convince anyone

500
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:04,040
Speaker 1: to believe the same thing that I do. And my God,

501
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 1: what a boring world it would be if everybody believed

502
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 1: what I believe. And my dad was all about that.

503
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,760
Speaker 1: He was also about like listen to that person because

504
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:14,880
Speaker 1: you might actually learn something. They might turn you on

505
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:19,480
Speaker 1: to something completely different. And can you guys tell that

506
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:22,120
Speaker 1: I just had like a fantastic dad growing up.

507
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 2: I think he was really special.

508
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 1: So you guys know how much I love my dad,

509
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 1: how grateful I am for the time that I had

510
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:35,240
Speaker 1: with him. I could go on for hours and hours

511
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 1: and hours about my father, just like I could about

512
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:42,600
Speaker 1: my mother. Just want to say that to all the

513
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 1: dads out there, like that treat their kids really well

514
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:49,720
Speaker 1: and love them and guide them, and.

515
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 2: Thank you.

516
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:57,719
Speaker 1: It's appreciated because kids need that like I needed it.

517
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 1: Your kids need it. And to all those stepfathers and

518
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 1: you know, adopted dads, the uncles who treat, you know,

519
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 1: their sister's kids as if they're their own link to

520
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:15,040
Speaker 1: all of you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank

521
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:17,640
Speaker 1: you for the bottom of my heart. You're doing a

522
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:19,359
Speaker 1: great job. Keep it up.

523
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:21,279
Speaker 2: That's it.

524
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:25,200
Speaker 1: That was Father's Day. That was a little heavy, but fun.

525
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 1: I liked revisiting my dad with all of you.

526
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:29,719
Speaker 2: And that's it.

527
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:34,360
Speaker 1: Okay, So I love you guys, and I, you know,

528
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 1: hope that this episode warmed your hearts.

529
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 2: Thank you for listening to Let's be clear Wishanna Doherty. Bye,