Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast, Nicky Gazer. Here's Nicky. Hello, welcome
Speaker 1: to the show. It's Nicki Glaser Podcast. I'm Nicki Glazer.
Speaker 1: It is Tuesday, Well, it's Monday here. I don't want
Speaker 1: to lie to you guys. We're doing a double up
Speaker 1: episode because I'm going I think I'm leaving tomorrow for
Speaker 1: Where Angels. Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah. I'm guest hosting Kimmel.
Speaker 1: I was like, what am I going out there for.
Speaker 1: I'm um, I'm the guest host for Jimmy Kimmel Live
Speaker 1: this Thursday. Please DVR a tune in. I want them
Speaker 1: to see a spike in ratings, um, so that people
Speaker 1: are like people seem to like her. So far, that
Speaker 1: has not been what the bock Lazer effects meant. It's
Speaker 1: meant canceled her show after one and a half seasons.
Speaker 1: At at most, that's a whole season one show you're
Speaker 1: gonna be That's gonna be crazy. Yeah. A lot of
Speaker 1: guest hosts for Kimmel are do too. I'm glad. I'm like,
Speaker 1: there was a part of me that was like, but
Speaker 1: I'm so glad because I get to pack it all.
Speaker 1: Like I get stressed out about these things, and two
Speaker 1: would make me a lot more stressed out than one.
Speaker 1: And it's energy into one. But to would and feel like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm the second one. I could kill it. Like there's
Speaker 1: no no I think I'm gonna kill I have, honestly
Speaker 1: I have. By the way, Chris Convey is with us.
Speaker 1: My boyfriend. Hi, Chris, Andrew's here, We're all here, Luigi's here.
Speaker 1: Noahs in Arizona. Um, Chrissy, look great, Tan. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was doing some yard work the other day outside. Okay,
Speaker 1: stop with jeans, no shirt. You wearing jeans. I wasn't
Speaker 1: wearing your shirt. Everything was cut off conversation. Um, well fine,
Speaker 1: let's talk about Kim. He went to your yard. I
Speaker 1: went over to pick you up the other night and
Speaker 1: it was popping off. You had a sprinkler going. I
Speaker 1: got some color going out there. Yeah, you got like
Speaker 1: you have fall pots getting. I don't know what that is.
Speaker 1: It's like you put Yeah. He was having a genocide.
Speaker 1: Um of the fourteenth century. I don't know it was
Speaker 1: that even close. He's a singer from I think that
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, that was actually recent was the killing fields.
Speaker 1: He was like one of the worst genocides modern day genocides.
Speaker 1: Christ I envisioned an English lounge. Yeah, well you did
Speaker 1: vote for them in American Idol and it was weird
Speaker 1: for everyone. Well, I mean, genocide is better than listen
Speaker 1: to Simon cow You were just not a Reuben Stuttered fan,
Speaker 1: and you had to show it in some way. He stuttered.
Speaker 1: All right, Um, so this Jimmy Kimmel thing, you've done
Speaker 1: it before. Your Yeah, this is okay. Um, Yeah, you
Speaker 1: hosted Kimmel before, but it was during the cook COVID
Speaker 1: and it was during which was was so cool to
Speaker 1: be asked it was. It was around the same time too.
Speaker 1: I think Kimmel takes I like that he takes vacations
Speaker 1: and he like he gives the hands over the reins
Speaker 1: to other people. You don't see Colbert doing guest toasts.
Speaker 1: Kim is a notoriously hard worker. Yeah, but the fact
Speaker 1: that he takes vacations is really cool that he like
Speaker 1: knows how He's just a guy that like loves like
Speaker 1: you know, everyone on his show is like family. He
Speaker 1: just likes spending quality. Yeah, when you're there, you fill
Speaker 1: up on breadsticks, your poor did you did they pay
Speaker 1: you for this? Yeah? But it's it's not. I'm just saying,
Speaker 1: like a lot, yeah, but they give you. Kim is
Speaker 1: still doing fine. He's like making money on vacation. It's
Speaker 1: not like Wayne Benstein's money. I'm gonna say, welcome to
Speaker 1: Jimmy Kimmel Live. I'm your guest, so snaky. It's not
Speaker 1: going to be like welcome to Nicki Glazer Live. I
Speaker 1: mean I might say that as by Jimmy something. No,
Speaker 1: but it's some it's so so. I guess hosted in
Speaker 1: July of two thousand twenty. I mean it was like
Speaker 1: when things were still scary and I hit it in
Speaker 1: a house in my head that was six months ago. Really,
Speaker 1: I feel like it in my head is exactly as
Speaker 1: far as it was, which is rare for me. Everything
Speaker 1: always seems like demented in time. But um, yeah it was.
Speaker 1: We weren't together. We were just friends. We're friends. We're
Speaker 1: friends and out we're watching normal people. We're hanging out
Speaker 1: and like we were on the port or he was
Speaker 1: at your house or something. Did you visit that you
Speaker 1: think you visited that summer and you showed your boobs
Speaker 1: to him or something. Something that happened where your friendship.
Speaker 1: Oh I don't know. I remember that you weren't there
Speaker 1: for that. Of course, Oh I thought you were there first.
Speaker 1: Andrew showed some stuff that yeah, we're putting stress fish
Speaker 1: and um no, it was yeah. I mean, our our
Speaker 1: relationship has been you know, the show Welcome Home to
Speaker 1: Laser kind of covered us getting back together, but not
Speaker 1: in the way of like what really happened. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's it's crazy. It's constantly evolving, it really is. And
Speaker 1: I do think that we have a better shot of
Speaker 1: making it because of all of our breakups than a
Speaker 1: lot of people do. I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: would have walked away a long time ago. Smart people
Speaker 1: would have walked away even should we just like, it
Speaker 1: shouldn't be this hard, which is a great point. Sometimes people,
Speaker 1: you know, when they talk about the relationships, so like
Speaker 1: I just knew because it was easy. It's just Nikki,
Speaker 1: it's supposed to be easy. You just know because it's
Speaker 1: no work, And it's just like, I don't I don't
Speaker 1: really buy that. I just I understand it being not
Speaker 1: as difficult as it has been with us. But I
Speaker 1: look at those couples that it was so easy and
Speaker 1: then they have issues. Everybody has issues. Yeah, everybody except
Speaker 1: Brandan Andrew. Yeah, they're perfect. It's weird, totally easy at first,
Speaker 1: different pages, like maybe one of you liked wanted something
Speaker 1: you weren't communicating exactly properly, Like it's tough, it's I
Speaker 1: don't like this whole thing of questioning your entire relationship.
Speaker 1: If it's not easy. Well, anything that's great. Anything that's great.
Speaker 1: Kobe Bryant him practicing, and that's not easy. But I
Speaker 1: think the goal so great that it's worth you have
Speaker 1: to question, like when we're at our best, is it
Speaker 1: good enough to deal with when it's not easy? And
Speaker 1: I think with you too, it's not right now, but no,
Speaker 1: I think you guys, Yeah, we're in January. Just that
Speaker 1: was a dark day. I woke up from a nap
Speaker 1: coming back from Boston on the first date of the
Speaker 1: Nicki Glazer Tour, first theater date, I think it was
Speaker 1: that weekend was our first theaters and we were taking
Speaker 1: the train back from Boston. We pulled into Grand Central Station,
Speaker 1: Penn Station. Dark. It's whenever you pull into Penn Station,
Speaker 1: you're kind of like, what time is it? Like, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so underground that it's like a different kind of
Speaker 1: dark and coldness, like the coldness of Grant or Front
Speaker 1: station is weird. And you get thrown into a quick
Speaker 1: like you see blood, like you see a lot of
Speaker 1: crazy ship within seconds of getting to there's huts of
Speaker 1: news is in there for no reason. It's like you
Speaker 1: guys know that there's no security to get in here,
Speaker 1: that you don't need to charge me seven dollars for water,
Speaker 1: Like I could just go up. This isn't the airport,
Speaker 1: but I still wait in line at that fucking anyway,
Speaker 1: we pull up, I wake up and you're like, Kobe
Speaker 1: Bryant wasn't That was how I found out. That was
Speaker 1: how the breaking news got to me. Of that, Do
Speaker 1: you remember that too? Do you remember where you were
Speaker 1: when you found out? Absolutely? I was in at a
Speaker 1: hotel restaurant with a bunch of Australian people who were
Speaker 1: in town for like some sort of Australian Day celebration,
Speaker 1: and we were all just it was in l A
Speaker 1: and so like you would, everybody in the tables around
Speaker 1: like everyone was talking about trying to give information to
Speaker 1: each other, and yeah, it was. It was a weird
Speaker 1: time to be in l A. Because people love Kobe
Speaker 1: Bryant loved him. Oh yeah, and um I remember yeah,
Speaker 1: like just it just seemed so not real and it
Speaker 1: was also it is interesting that I bet a lot
Speaker 1: of people will remember where they were when they found
Speaker 1: out he did. There's certain things that you just like.
Speaker 1: Princess was one of those. Yeah, I just talked about
Speaker 1: in the last episode. I remember exactly what do you
Speaker 1: remember where you were? I was in a car somebody
Speaker 1: Australians with Australians trying to hunt her down to take
Speaker 1: a picture. Yea, yeah, I was trying to get a
Speaker 1: fixture the first on the scene. What happened was me
Speaker 1: camera start. I was in a car with like my
Speaker 1: freshman year I think was something like that with the
Speaker 1: girl I was like dating. Let's get back to her.
Speaker 1: Parents were picking us up from a party. Oh really,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you were going to a point because
Speaker 1: I was in it. I still don't know. Never met
Speaker 1: until New York. I know when you see someone, we
Speaker 1: knew this. We need the same people. For Kirsten, my
Speaker 1: best friend all through high school, got a little bit
Speaker 1: popular are sophomore junior year, and she became really good
Speaker 1: friends with this popular girl, Jessica Graham, who lived right
Speaker 1: now to the Convoys, and so she would go over
Speaker 1: to Jessica Grahams. We weren't invited because I wasn't cool,
Speaker 1: and it was kind of like, oh, Kristen's cool now,
Speaker 1: like she's with the popular kids, and she um. She
Speaker 1: remembers the Convoys because she remembers Jessica lived next to
Speaker 1: this house of like these private school boys that were
Speaker 1: all hot, like these three hot brother did you did
Speaker 1: you do you feel like you guys would have dated
Speaker 1: in high school because I didn't date. I didn't like
Speaker 1: I mean, I wouldn't love with him. Yeah, the way
Speaker 1: he looked in high school, he looked like a donnut,
Speaker 1: which is the donnup. That's the phrase that me and
Speaker 1: me and my friends coined about a guy that kind
Speaker 1: of has like long hair that looks like he listens
Speaker 1: to fish. Chris did not looks like he was like
Speaker 1: into like you just had like long hair, you were tan.
Speaker 1: You looked like um. I was like, I like was
Speaker 1: president of the outdoors club. I started like go camping
Speaker 1: and stuff, and I have long hair. We called them
Speaker 1: donuts because the fish song. Wilson. There was a guy
Speaker 1: named Ryan Wilson who was the quintessential dunna of our school.
Speaker 1: And his last name was Wilson, and in the song
Speaker 1: Wellson and so we called them donuts, which is kind
Speaker 1: of genius. Green bass, vigorous green bas is what we
Speaker 1: called blow jobs figureus is what we called hand jobs. Um,
Speaker 1: so chriss have done it. I would have been obsessed
Speaker 1: with him and um, but also he liked me, but
Speaker 1: I would have not liked him. Your private school, she
Speaker 1: was probably was that Louis and your private school, and
Speaker 1: we were friends with public school people for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was not for friends with any public school people
Speaker 1: and I went there. I was not a cute thing
Speaker 1: that I want to mention in last episode was what
Speaker 1: we're talking about you being Jewish and and like going
Speaker 1: to a public school. I didn't know. One of the
Speaker 1: cutest things I ever said that my aunt Lynn used
Speaker 1: to always tell people was that one time she asked
Speaker 1: me when I was over. She was just like trying
Speaker 1: to get kids to say the darnest things, and we
Speaker 1: were talking about religion, and I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: know what we are and I was like, I know, well,
Speaker 1: we used to be Catholic because I went to a
Speaker 1: Catholic school. And now I think we're public. She our
Speaker 1: religion was public, and I was like, we are the
Speaker 1: chosen people. We have parks, we have you know, parking spaces. Uh.
Speaker 1: I felt like when I went to Serban school and
Speaker 1: the public school kids, the guys, when there were parties,
Speaker 1: there was like a something in the air where there
Speaker 1: might be a fight or like the girls might be
Speaker 1: a little bit like too rough around the edges. For
Speaker 1: us private school boys, like there was something, there was something.
Speaker 1: I went to Kirkwood, he went to Priority. What did
Speaker 1: you guys think about the school Kirkwood, which is where
Speaker 1: I grew up. It's it's it's the public school I
Speaker 1: would have gone to if I didn't go to Catholic
Speaker 1: schools wild and you would have been a senior when
Speaker 1: I was a wait, what year do you graduate? So
Speaker 1: there's there's this guy and so there was there was
Speaker 1: a like a hilarious like quote unquote gang that we
Speaker 1: made fun of. These guys that like you know, thought
Speaker 1: they were from the streets and all these things and
Speaker 1: maybe they were tough or whatever. There's guy named Ruben
Speaker 1: that everybody was afraid of. He would go to parties
Speaker 1: and fight people and all this stuff, and then he
Speaker 1: rolled with like a huge crew of guys that were
Speaker 1: like skaters, and they called themselves the douce Sjuice because
Speaker 1: our area code of sixty one two too, So when
Speaker 1: we we were making fun of these guys, we'd be
Speaker 1: like douce S Douice and uh. And then some of
Speaker 1: our friends got in fights with them. And then it
Speaker 1: was always Luban wasn't as tough as we thought because
Speaker 1: we thought he was gonna bring knives and stuff, but
Speaker 1: he just felt like a regular guy. There was always
Speaker 1: like brothers, Like I think there was like the McGuire brothers,
Speaker 1: and it's like, you don't want to funk with the
Speaker 1: McGuire because then you got to fight. All You went
Speaker 1: to private school too, and so you also had this
Speaker 1: kind of thoughts about public school kids and being especially
Speaker 1: in Florida public school, and in in Florida you get some
Speaker 1: rough kids. Mean, well, we just went to public school
Speaker 1: now because we were poor or rough, but because my
Speaker 1: parents didn't want us being taught lies for a bulk
Speaker 1: of our daily lives. It was four hours but one
Speaker 1: class where you could be learning about something else. I mean,
Speaker 1: that is crazy. And I will say that there is
Speaker 1: stuff to be learned in Wait, what do you think
Speaker 1: private school? You think we're indoctrinated? Like I went to
Speaker 1: school and I remember being like, we have to go
Speaker 1: to church and like sitting in those cues, being bored
Speaker 1: on my fucking mind and then learning about God and honestly,
Speaker 1: what does this mean? Yeah? It was. It was, but
Speaker 1: it didn't feel like I never felt at any point
Speaker 1: like it was just like another class that you took. Yes,
Speaker 1: it was, because every class in high school, right, It
Speaker 1: wasn't like some serious thing where they like sat you
Speaker 1: down and like if you don't believe this, then you're
Speaker 1: a bad person. Like people that don't experience it think
Speaker 1: of it as like this indoctrinating situation, and it's just
Speaker 1: sort of like it's just another class where you're learning
Speaker 1: these stories. Yes, like, yes, sure, I'm sure some people
Speaker 1: do take it a lot. Got turned into a pillar
Speaker 1: of salt. That happened. Yeah, I'm sorry. You shouldn't look back.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying I would do I would do the prayer,
Speaker 1: you know, our Father Lord in heaven, whatever, that whole thing,
Speaker 1: And then I wouldn't say I would just mouth Jesus
Speaker 1: because because because I didn't give it all to you
Speaker 1: would just got Jewish instead of Jesus, and they would
Speaker 1: never know it was crust. That's what I would say.
Speaker 1: I just realized something. I don't want to get into
Speaker 1: it too much, but I'm reading this book right now,
Speaker 1: and I'm definitely going to read the whole thing. I
Speaker 1: do read a percent of books sometimes if they're about
Speaker 1: column six. But this one is not about Columbine, unfortunately.
Speaker 1: But it is a book that I got recommended by
Speaker 1: UM and I just sent it to my dad because
Speaker 1: I want, like everyone, I want to want you to
Speaker 1: read it. To every book you read, you should change
Speaker 1: the cover to a Columbine scene. I'm on Nikki's like
Speaker 1: phone screen. Yeah that's I just got that same feeling
Speaker 1: you got when you got like added to somebody's like
Speaker 1: my Space four top four. You're just like that made
Speaker 1: me feel great. Wait wait wait, you're on the front
Speaker 1: because I cho this hot picture of him in the
Speaker 1: golden light the other day when we were getting Rebel kitchen,
Speaker 1: and he looks so hot, and it really does it
Speaker 1: feels really nice. There's something about it that every time
Speaker 1: I look at it, I get reminded of how attracted
Speaker 1: to you. I am like it throughout my day. I
Speaker 1: think of you more. It's like, I'm going to do it.
Speaker 1: Will you put me on your gout? Okay, right now
Speaker 1: is his I was going to ask you to put
Speaker 1: me on yours because because of that effect, Like it's
Speaker 1: not just because I want to be on your plate
Speaker 1: and I want everyone to know that you your girlfriend.
Speaker 1: It's like it's like having a picture on your It's
Speaker 1: the new on your desk. It's a Dave Matthew's light switch.
Speaker 1: That's a new age because you go to that at
Speaker 1: the most, it made me to your phone the most.
Speaker 1: It made me feel great. Yeah, I'm going to do it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would really appreciate it. Because right now, your cousin
Speaker 1: Drew his big face, it's a gigantic head of it's
Speaker 1: a funny picture. But I see I saw Drew at
Speaker 1: a wedding recently that we went to, and I said,
Speaker 1: I see you in bed more than I see Chris's
Speaker 1: face because in the you light up on his phone
Speaker 1: screen next to me all the time, it looks he
Speaker 1: looks like Magnum p I with a big mustache. And
Speaker 1: it's true, like I see Drew's face does he usually
Speaker 1: have a mustache. Chris is holding it up, so check
Speaker 1: out the YouTube video if you want to see it.
Speaker 1: Um he uh yeah, he's a handsome guy. But I
Speaker 1: the other day I was like, I want to ask
Speaker 1: Chris to put me on his plate. I just will
Speaker 1: feel loving. It's the new on your desk at work,
Speaker 1: my dad always you have pictures of us on the desk,
Speaker 1: My pasces on my mom that's like it is bred
Speaker 1: on yours. It was it was Bailey. I called my cat,
Speaker 1: my old Oh yeah that's it was mango jumping but
Speaker 1: with his legs like chicken. It's down now because I
Speaker 1: had to reset my phone because my phone wasn't working. Ok,
Speaker 1: what a dud. But anyhow, yeah, it's my cat. No,
Speaker 1: Luigi was on my phone for the bulk of my life,
Speaker 1: and then it was my nephew, and then it was
Speaker 1: my niece. My niece like was really like almost became
Speaker 1: like the Oprah of Oprah magazine where it was just
Speaker 1: only my niece. And I was feeling bad, like is
Speaker 1: this wrong that I don't have my because I got
Speaker 1: a ring the other day that um, the day that
Speaker 1: I bought my surgery. You have to pay for your
Speaker 1: surgery upfront a gigantic amount of money and American Espress.
Speaker 1: I had to like call my business manager, Yeah, do
Speaker 1: you get those points that card and that the big silver,
Speaker 1: chunky card that is like, oh, it's so it's like
Speaker 1: down and people know you're vocal cords with it. Honestly, well,
Speaker 1: I spent a lot of money on that, and there
Speaker 1: was something about spending that much money that made me
Speaker 1: go money don't matter. And I was in Boston already
Speaker 1: with my mom and we went out on like my
Speaker 1: mom wanted to go and maybe go on like a
Speaker 1: walking tour, and I just I had to be um,
Speaker 1: like I had to have vocal rest because I was,
Speaker 1: you know, filming this thing and my voice is going out.
Speaker 1: So I was like, I don't want to go on
Speaker 1: a tour, even though I did. I didn't want to
Speaker 1: hear other people talk. And I just don't care about history.
Speaker 1: And I was kind of tired that day and I
Speaker 1: was like, let's go shopping. And my mom loves to
Speaker 1: watch me spend money. She was like, you're like Peggy.
Speaker 1: You know my mom was on the show not too
Speaker 1: long ago, and she told me that I'm exactly like
Speaker 1: my aunt Peggy was just like ambition, just go get
Speaker 1: her very type a person. While we were shopping, she goes,
Speaker 1: you aren't just like Peggy. It's like shopping with Peggy,
Speaker 1: because Peggy will just be like I was going into
Speaker 1: the stores and going yeah this, this, this, like there
Speaker 1: was no trying on. There was no in every store
Speaker 1: like I love you. This girl knows what she wants
Speaker 1: and there's no I can't. That's why I don't go
Speaker 1: shopping with my friends. It's because I can't stand they
Speaker 1: wait in line to try things on. I'm like, put
Speaker 1: it over your jeans and then get a smaller size
Speaker 1: if it fits, that's what you do, Like put it
Speaker 1: over where it tanked up and just put it on
Speaker 1: in the store, Like, don't go to the dressing room. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I like to, but I has to fit.
Speaker 1: I guess later. I just don't want to wait in
Speaker 1: that line at Zara it's so long and then just
Speaker 1: steal it. And because then the line to buy it's
Speaker 1: too long, we gotta go to break. But I'm much
Speaker 1: more to say about this, and I'll tell you why
Speaker 1: this all relates to Poppy long as you get back
Speaker 1: from the break. So I'm shopping with my mom in Boston.
Speaker 1: I'm going First of all, Uh, my friend, you feel
Speaker 1: weird about spending a lot of money in front of
Speaker 1: your friends and your mom because your mom My mom
Speaker 1: loves it. Because I feel like a successful daughter who's like,
Speaker 1: she's like so proud that I have this money to spend.
Speaker 1: And I know that. I'm sure there are people that
Speaker 1: roll their eyes anytime I talk about money on the show,
Speaker 1: but it's something that I don't. I don't usually because
Speaker 1: can I say something about that real quick? No? So
Speaker 1: I love that. That was great, not until you put
Speaker 1: her on your phone? Do it now, Chris, do it now?
Speaker 1: I am excited about this phone screen thing. This is
Speaker 1: a big this is a big moment from it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it is. What do you say? So it's a huge stuff.
Speaker 1: This is like Facebook official. Remember we put our relationship status. Yes,
Speaker 1: I saw tweet the other day that said, can we
Speaker 1: just address how the fact how insane it was that
Speaker 1: we used to go on to Facebook and and sometimes
Speaker 1: put it's complicated with someone like that was always a joke. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's yeah, anytime I put it's complicated. It was like
Speaker 1: with me and my friend Nicole, like it wasn't like
Speaker 1: and then or your girlfriend Nicole whoa, whoa, who's on
Speaker 1: your about? I'm going to give you commiments. But then
Speaker 1: you were so many me my money and so many
Speaker 1: people like you know who are successful. You know, maybe
Speaker 1: got help from all these different people. And yeah you
Speaker 1: got help and stuff, but like you know, their their dad,
Speaker 1: like even like Steve Jobs, like he got help from
Speaker 1: his mom who worked at Dell and Trump yeah trump
Speaker 1: at all for himself. But Nikki, everything that Nicky has
Speaker 1: was you know, obviously everybody gets lucky here, that's all mine.
Speaker 1: This is all things that I bought. Oh, you bought
Speaker 1: those balloons. I will say, though, thank you for saying that.
Speaker 1: I didn't even get to finish. Yeah, I want to
Speaker 1: know what's on Noah's screen. I do too know. Oh
Speaker 1: it's just my nephew holding Buzzy when we just got them.
Speaker 1: All buzzies are cats. So oh you doubled up that it.
Speaker 1: So what was the finish? Yeah, there's no finish really
Speaker 1: now we're not finishing this one? Well, can I finish it?
Speaker 1: And say that I love that you said that and
Speaker 1: I appreciate it, and um, I will say though that
Speaker 1: this is part of my story. It could have ended bad. No,
Speaker 1: it was gonna end good. But Chris has a very
Speaker 1: staunch rule about if if, if the moment is past,
Speaker 1: he's not going to double back and get it because
Speaker 1: it's never going to be as good as in the moment.
Speaker 1: And I respect it too, and I like it, and
Speaker 1: that's just who he is, and I think he's going
Speaker 1: to be on the show a lot more. So let's
Speaker 1: just get to know him as a double back on
Speaker 1: my relationship with Nikki. I don't double back on stories,
Speaker 1: and I do appreciate that you double back on that.
Speaker 1: Like every time we break up, I go, this is it.
Speaker 1: If we break up, it's never going to get back never,
Speaker 1: And my friends always just like mmmmm, so this is
Speaker 1: this is the time, this is where it's going to stick.
Speaker 1: And so it is nice to know that we will
Speaker 1: allow for you. Will you will get back together with
Speaker 1: me if if, if it's the right yes, and the
Speaker 1: gist of the all of it was yet to hear
Speaker 1: somebody talk about double back. This isn't a double back.
Speaker 1: This is is you know when people hear you say like, oh,
Speaker 1: I got to spend money on this and I got
Speaker 1: to buy a car and all these things. It sounds
Speaker 1: like you're bragging, but it's like, Nikki built this entire thing.
Speaker 1: You know, obviously there's people that help, but NICKI worked
Speaker 1: really really hard to do all of this, and it's
Speaker 1: you know, it's one of the it's a real success story.
Speaker 1: She pulled herself up by her heel straps. You always
Speaker 1: do say that the that you always remind me of that, like,
Speaker 1: it's really cool that you've done this thing. It's insane.
Speaker 1: But I will say that it would not have been
Speaker 1: possible had I not had financial help from my parents,
Speaker 1: you know, like when they I would get over draft fees,
Speaker 1: my mom would put like, there was a time I
Speaker 1: think my parents probably lent me. And this isn't even
Speaker 1: counting what they spent on my college education, which they
Speaker 1: paid for it the whole thing. So they probably spent
Speaker 1: loaned me ten dollars over the course of uh several
Speaker 1: months when I was in l A, just drinking too much,
Speaker 1: not babysitting enough, not tempting getting fired from temp jobs
Speaker 1: because they'd be like this isn't temporary enough and you
Speaker 1: shouldn't come in tomorrow. I'm like I have one day
Speaker 1: left there, like we'd rather train someone new. We're terrible,
Speaker 1: but they really helped me out and and I was
Speaker 1: able to pay them back, which is great over time,
Speaker 1: and just you know, but I never had that, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't have been able to do it. I'm not saying
Speaker 1: that you didn't have any help, but I conceded the
Speaker 1: idea that you know, you you had help, and people
Speaker 1: have help and stuff, and that's great. But I just mean, like,
Speaker 1: if people are rolling their eyes at any sort of
Speaker 1: money spending or any sort of things that sound like
Speaker 1: a money brag, like, yeah, you had you had some
Speaker 1: help from your parents, but this isn't like you were
Speaker 1: handed the keys to some sort of for you know,
Speaker 1: You're not like, you know somebody who has inherited everything.
Speaker 1: You know. I know people that are like, oh, they
Speaker 1: started this company, and it's like, well, their parents are
Speaker 1: super millionaires and all of their friends are like, yes,
Speaker 1: well and you know the best thing about which is weird.
Speaker 1: That would be so awesome. I forgot Aunt Peggy gave
Speaker 1: you yes undred bucks every birthday because I'm am your goddaughter, um,
Speaker 1: which means nothing, but it means that I get a
Speaker 1: hundred extra dollars on my birthday than any of the
Speaker 1: fact my aunt Peggy is my godmother. Really that's cool.
Speaker 1: I love her she and she's also like a cool
Speaker 1: California and she's californa successful real estate right. It is
Speaker 1: weird when people brag about money, because it happens a
Speaker 1: lot on the Internet where people go, I'm worth eighty
Speaker 1: million dollars and it's like such a high number, and
Speaker 1: then they get so much attention they don't get negative
Speaker 1: shipped for it, but there's like a weird number, and
Speaker 1: there's a weird number in between, like eighty million, and
Speaker 1: then like if you say I spent fifteen thousand on clothes,
Speaker 1: people like, oh my god, I can't. But if you
Speaker 1: say I fucking that dude, I want to like suck
Speaker 1: his dick because he's great. It's a weird it's a weird,
Speaker 1: like amount of money you used to be able to
Speaker 1: stay I'm a millionaire and people would go, whoa, And
Speaker 1: that means that honestly, of course, being a millionaire, you're
Speaker 1: you're set. I mean, Chris has always told me, what
Speaker 1: is it three million dollars? Well three is really good,
Speaker 1: two million in two millions to retire and just I
Speaker 1: can't wait to be rich enough to give everyone I
Speaker 1: care about two million dollars and go stop working, pursue
Speaker 1: what you love and put it in something safe and
Speaker 1: that it will gain the right amount of interest in things.
Speaker 1: Put it in a Vanguard index fund. You're gonna be fine.
Speaker 1: So I do want to say that I recently I
Speaker 1: I give away a lot of money to um, something
Speaker 1: that I've never shied away from that I really I
Speaker 1: almost enjoy it more than the person who gets the
Speaker 1: money gets it. My friend the other day was telling like,
Speaker 1: you know, just reached out and was like, hey, thinking
Speaker 1: about you, love you. How are you? And I wrote
Speaker 1: back like, good, how are you? And she was not
Speaker 1: at all asking for anything. She was just honestly just
Speaker 1: being like, I'm grateful you're my friend, just thinking of you.
Speaker 1: Because my voice was sucked up and she was checking
Speaker 1: in and I go, how are you? And she was like, UM, honestly, financially,
Speaker 1: it's just I'm stressed out right now. And I go,
Speaker 1: We've never talked about this, but I and this does
Speaker 1: not go out to besties. This, please do not send me.
Speaker 1: Venmoor has people do it a lot where they're like
Speaker 1: hundred dollars like my I can't do it on that,
Speaker 1: but if you become one of my good friends, if
Speaker 1: if you're someone who I know would do it for me,
Speaker 1: I will. I will give you anything you need to
Speaker 1: the point where I'm not like jeopardizing my own financial
Speaker 1: you know, situations. So I told her, I was like,
Speaker 1: just so you know, I don't think we've had this conversation.
Speaker 1: I have more money than I probably deserve to have.
Speaker 1: I am a single woman, I have a dog. I
Speaker 1: do take care of my family in some ways, but
Speaker 1: not in ways that you know I can I help
Speaker 1: you if it would. What's the amount that would make
Speaker 1: it so you don't stress today or tomorrow, and that
Speaker 1: will give you a little like just tell me the
Speaker 1: mount and I'll let you know if I could do
Speaker 1: it or not. And she I gave. What I also
Speaker 1: said was I want you to know I don't expect
Speaker 1: it back because when you lend up money, I go,
Speaker 1: I would like it back someday because I just feel
Speaker 1: like you're the person that would if you're able to
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be tomorrow, it doesn't have to be
Speaker 1: in five years. It can be in fifty years, like
Speaker 1: or pay it forward to someone else, and I said,
Speaker 1: it will never affect our friendship, which how can you
Speaker 1: really say that? But I know that when I've lent
Speaker 1: money to friends, I forget how much I've given them.
Speaker 1: I don't think about it all the time. I don't
Speaker 1: it really. My mom's always like, Nick, we owe you this,
Speaker 1: and I go, will you stop? I do not remember?
Speaker 1: And it's not And it's probably because I'm bad with
Speaker 1: money and I kind of like to just like forget
Speaker 1: what I've spent. I'm not someone who keeps receipts. But
Speaker 1: I said to her, it's not going to affect our relationship.
Speaker 1: I it will not be you. If you if you're
Speaker 1: feeling bad about owing me money and if you're going
Speaker 1: to carry any guilt about this, and it's going to
Speaker 1: affect you wanting to hang out with me, do not
Speaker 1: do not let me give it to you. But you've
Speaker 1: got to if you accept this, you've got to promise
Speaker 1: me you're not going to be weird around me and
Speaker 1: feel like, oh, I have to buy her coffee and
Speaker 1: you can't. You're not gonna let me buy dinners? Still, like,
Speaker 1: because you owe me. It's not that I know that
Speaker 1: I have been blessed to be born in America with
Speaker 1: parents that's a boarded me and loved me and accepted
Speaker 1: me for who I was, who supported me financially. I
Speaker 1: fell into an industry that is very lucrative that I
Speaker 1: happened to have a good bed, good at I have
Speaker 1: a brain that helped me work. Like I got lucky
Speaker 1: to get all these things. And I don't look at
Speaker 1: you not having money right now as you being lazy
Speaker 1: or you being um less than you know. I think
Speaker 1: some rich people look at poor people is like fucking
Speaker 1: work more. Just like you just didn't do it right,
Speaker 1: do what I did. And it's like even if they
Speaker 1: could do what you did, they you know, I've talked
Speaker 1: about this extensively on the show, But it's like, you
Speaker 1: don't get to choose the brain you're born with. You
Speaker 1: don't get to choose your parents. These people who are born,
Speaker 1: no one wants to be poor. No one wants to
Speaker 1: be even lazy. Even if they are lazy, no one
Speaker 1: wants to be lazy. They might be suffering with depression
Speaker 1: or whatever. So I told her that, and and then
Speaker 1: I just vent motor amount that I thought was a
Speaker 1: lot um to give a friend that was like, would
Speaker 1: suffice based on what I hurt because she didn't give
Speaker 1: me a number, and I knew she was like hesitating,
Speaker 1: so I just go just fucking take this. And then
Speaker 1: she wrote back and she was like, actually, can I
Speaker 1: get this amount? And it was, uh, it was almost
Speaker 1: it was like probably more than I had already given
Speaker 1: her to the point where I couldn't venmo because it
Speaker 1: would go past my limit. So and I said, fuck, yes,
Speaker 1: yes I can. It's a crazy amount of money, but
Speaker 1: what a joy that I can do this. And she
Speaker 1: is now out of debt. She doesn't have to go
Speaker 1: ask her parents, who she's kind of estranged from, for money,
Speaker 1: she doesn't have to take gigs she doesn't want to
Speaker 1: do like and she's such a great person that puts
Speaker 1: so much good out in the world. That is going
Speaker 1: to be what you said that like you kind of
Speaker 1: enjoyed it more than she did. So because about that?
Speaker 1: Did you enjoy? Because it makes me feel good because
Speaker 1: I know that I am giving someone I love relief.
Speaker 1: It's like giving someone like giving my mom a foot rub.
Speaker 1: It's giving like something's hurting her and causing her chronic pain,
Speaker 1: and we're it's like me figuring out how to relieve
Speaker 1: this pain instantly, and that feels good to like limit
Speaker 1: suffering on this planet. And she is someone who's so um.
Speaker 1: She's given me so much in terms of support and
Speaker 1: emotional caring and like being there for me that I mean, honestly,
Speaker 1: I feel like I I just I she gave that
Speaker 1: back to me. And things that are not tangible, that
Speaker 1: aren't aren't financially, but it was this. It was It's
Speaker 1: an exchange almost, and and I know that that relief
Speaker 1: that she feels she's going to be able to put
Speaker 1: so much more good out in the world that is
Speaker 1: going to trickle out. And then she when she becomes
Speaker 1: rich enough to do it, she will do that for
Speaker 1: someone else, I believe, and I know she would do
Speaker 1: it for me. I one time went to a guy's
Speaker 1: funeral and I said, I'm going to this funeral. I
Speaker 1: don't really know him, but I bet if I died,
Speaker 1: he would go to mine. And I think that's how
Speaker 1: we should kind of look at life. Is like, I
Speaker 1: don't think i'd lend money to someone who wouldn't do
Speaker 1: it for me, even though I have UM, but I
Speaker 1: do think it just I don't know it just feels
Speaker 1: I like spending money on other people more than myself.
Speaker 1: But I did spend a lot of myself in Boston,
Speaker 1: and I got myself a ring that had a p
Speaker 1: on it for Poppy and my mom was like, well
Speaker 1: what about Arlow and Forest? And I'm like, well, that's
Speaker 1: too many letters. And also this in this ring was
Speaker 1: kind of expensive. I went to, like this gold dealer,
Speaker 1: it would be fat, yeah, and yeah, we can't have that.
Speaker 1: And the peak kind of looks like a g sometimes,
Speaker 1: so that's not gonna be good. But I gotta pee
Speaker 1: because I like because for me, a little girl in
Speaker 1: a way, she's my favorite. And Forest and Arloe might
Speaker 1: watch this some day long after I'm long gone and
Speaker 1: be like what the funk? But like when you're a
Speaker 1: woman and you see a little girl, like there's something
Speaker 1: I kind of look through lens of my life of
Speaker 1: making decisions of like what I want this for Poppy.
Speaker 1: And so it's just a little nice reminder. I'm not
Speaker 1: wearing it right now, so I can't what I want.
Speaker 1: Probably to listen to me rattling on, probably not, and
Speaker 1: I should have that ring on to remind me to
Speaker 1: change subjects. But I also don't think that everything is
Speaker 1: to be equal. Every time, like like one of my
Speaker 1: nephews comes up to me and it's like, hey, Chris,
Speaker 1: I want to show you this thing. Somebody in the
Speaker 1: family will be like, well, now show show team man,
Speaker 1: and it's like, we're forty years we don't need these
Speaker 1: kids to treat us equally. It's so exhausting. You're visiting
Speaker 1: your nephews recently, did you encounter anything with that of
Speaker 1: like having to I think depending on the age, the
Speaker 1: more I feel like I have to give the older
Speaker 1: one more time because he'll remember it in a in
Speaker 1: a weird way, like I'm like, oh, this will be
Speaker 1: more meaningful for me to throw to football with him
Speaker 1: because he could actually catch right now, as opposed to Leo,
Speaker 1: who's essentially black out drunk until you're like four, that's
Speaker 1: when you start waking up for him, and then I'll
Speaker 1: give him just as much time. But I feel like, also,
Speaker 1: it's just more fun to hang out with the older one.
Speaker 1: But the middle of Leo, I won't stop talking. He'll
Speaker 1: tell stories that make no sense, never talks how old
Speaker 1: is Leo? Like four or five poppies? So quiets hit
Speaker 1: it off with kids at different like you know, different times,
Speaker 1: and I've never seen someone better with kids than this guy.
Speaker 1: Do you love so much because she's hilarious and I
Speaker 1: love her because she is It's I learned how to
Speaker 1: be from her. Of like I remember the freedom of
Speaker 1: not being worried about what my hair looks like, what
Speaker 1: my skin looks like, what um like, just being what's
Speaker 1: important is what's right in front of me. And I'm
Speaker 1: and she's I will say, she is poppy. If you're
Speaker 1: watching this in the future on the hologram in front
Speaker 1: of you, you were a little bit like you were
Speaker 1: a four year old. That was like getting into something
Speaker 1: like the other day. I was like, oh, I get
Speaker 1: how you can love someone so much, but also like
Speaker 1: be like I don't want to see this person again,
Speaker 1: like just so mean. Just the way she was like
Speaker 1: talking to me of like do this, and I go,
Speaker 1: who are you talking? I would never talk to my
Speaker 1: aunt that way. Like I was scared of my aunt
Speaker 1: and there was some part of me that was just like,
Speaker 1: screw you, lady, but it was but she at the
Speaker 1: same time, she kids are acting out when they're feeling frustrated,
Speaker 1: when they're feeling scared when they're feeling not like seen,
Speaker 1: and so I was able to get through to her eventually.
Speaker 1: But I was laying in her bunk bed with her
Speaker 1: and the top she asked for me to do it.
Speaker 1: Usually she's like, no, I don't want Nicky, I want Mommy,
Speaker 1: but she was like, I want Nikki, and so I
Speaker 1: was laying down with her with the money in the ring. Yeah,
Speaker 1: as soon as she found out about my spending spring
Speaker 1: in Boston, she was like, hey, crawling in that bag
Speaker 1: of coins onto the top bunk. But I was just
Speaker 1: in this bunk bed with her, and I was looking
Speaker 1: at her, and I love how quickly kids fall asleep.
Speaker 1: They're kind of like you, Chris, like just out very fast.
Speaker 1: But she was it was like hot in the room
Speaker 1: and she was kind of tossing and turning, and she
Speaker 1: looked so much like my little sister that it like
Speaker 1: my love for her was so I couldn't handle it.
Speaker 1: I had to leave because I was like, I just
Speaker 1: I can't handle how much I love this. I just
Speaker 1: want to like just stare at her, like she was
Speaker 1: just so cute the way she was like kicking the sheets,
Speaker 1: and like I just I felt overwhelmed with like love
Speaker 1: her because she reminded me much of my little sister.
Speaker 1: And I also was like if I was a bad person,
Speaker 1: the things I could do, like if someone ever gets
Speaker 1: like I know, my mind goes to both places. But
Speaker 1: like I like, just being like in a bed with
Speaker 1: a child makes me go, is this even okay? Because
Speaker 1: I don't want to encourage Poppy inviting adults into the
Speaker 1: bed that she doesn't know, Like she doesn't know, you know,
Speaker 1: you just know that she's like that if if she
Speaker 1: invited any adults or maybe sitter or like you know,
Speaker 1: where there aren't nannycams in the dark, I'm just like
Speaker 1: and then I start going to that and I feel
Speaker 1: like and then I start getting a reach like if
Speaker 1: anyone ever tried to fucking touch this, like what I would,
Speaker 1: and it just becomes too I think that's why I
Speaker 1: kind of shy away from having kids. Is not only
Speaker 1: because I have depression and I feel like it would
Speaker 1: just rub off on them and they would resent me
Speaker 1: and I wouldn't be able to show up for them,
Speaker 1: but also like I can't love something that much, like
Speaker 1: it's just too scared. And then let them like learn
Speaker 1: to drive go to school. For the firste I was
Speaker 1: on the top bunk and I was looking at you know,
Speaker 1: the metal that holds the kids in, and it was
Speaker 1: there was a pretty big gap and then it wasn't
Speaker 1: that high, and I just all like, because I fell
Speaker 1: off a top bunk multiple times, So I'm just like,
Speaker 1: which explains a lot, Like I fell on my head
Speaker 1: from very high and then it didn't put me higher.
Speaker 1: Did it affect the shape of your head? Just here
Speaker 1: and here right here? Doesn't know? I think you look great, concrete,
Speaker 1: bad dude. But I was looking at it and I
Speaker 1: couldn't I was like having trouble sleeping thinking I was like,
Speaker 1: why aren't they and my they're like the best parents ever, like,
Speaker 1: but like I couldn't get out of my head, like, no,
Speaker 1: they're just gonna fall. They're and as aunts and uncles,
Speaker 1: we don't really know how Like it was so just
Speaker 1: they're just sensitized at this point to like all the
Speaker 1: dangers that they've seen and they aren't really real fears. Well,
Speaker 1: Augie who seven, you know, he did a camp there
Speaker 1: where we were on a mountain and they just went
Speaker 1: hiking up the mountain and I'm like envisioned, like because
Speaker 1: I get my my fears get projected onto the kids. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so like you know, me hiking and seeing jagged cliff rock,
Speaker 1: I I think like they're just gonna Why would a
Speaker 1: kid not know to just walk off? You know, Like
Speaker 1: it's like when you're walking a dog or whatever, you
Speaker 1: see these goats that climb up the mountain and you're like,
Speaker 1: how did you know to just not die? Yeah? Or
Speaker 1: a squirrel on a a tightrope, but like you know,
Speaker 1: squirrel at the circus um. Yeah, So I just project
Speaker 1: all these fears onto them and that's like it's tough,
Speaker 1: like I don't know, but like I it just shows
Speaker 1: how I love them. Obsession and as a child was
Speaker 1: that my sister. Once I learned about kidnappers and murder
Speaker 1: and all those things and like what that people prey
Speaker 1: on children? Like, I was like like I couldn't. I
Speaker 1: was obsessed with my sister. It was only eighteen months
Speaker 1: younger than me that she was going to get up
Speaker 1: because she was such a more free spirit than me.
Speaker 1: I knew I was never going to be alone with
Speaker 1: a man. And I was a funky look at kid,
Speaker 1: like nobody's too trusting and I remember there was like
Speaker 1: someone spotted a weird van where a guy talked to
Speaker 1: some kids in our neighborhood, and it got around like
Speaker 1: there was a van and some kids like you know,
Speaker 1: it's probably a guy looking for direction, Like like, if
Speaker 1: you're a creepy guy, are you gonna drive the card
Speaker 1: that's the create Like you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 1: are you gonna I'm like, stop doing the thing that ever,
Speaker 1: stop being the stereotype. Yeah yeah yeah, So if you're
Speaker 1: driving a creepy van, you probably I don't know, there's
Speaker 1: a strong chance you are still creepy, yeah, because you
Speaker 1: can do that's there's no windows back there anyway. So
Speaker 1: I remember being obsessed that my sister and my mom
Speaker 1: would just let my sister go, and I'd be like,
Speaker 1: but there's nothing you can do as a kid to
Speaker 1: be like Lauren stay. So I would try to come
Speaker 1: up with ways to keep her inside, like let's play
Speaker 1: school in the basement, like just anywhere but out there,
Speaker 1: because you're gonna get stolen and it's going to ruin
Speaker 1: my child. It's all about me. Um. But what I
Speaker 1: wanted to say before about this book that I'm reading.
Speaker 1: It's called how To change your mind or something like that.
Speaker 1: We don't know. Let me just see what it's called again.
Speaker 1: Were you protective over your brothers, Chris, did you guys
Speaker 1: have Yeah, we were protective of each other, but we
Speaker 1: fought too. Yeah, but it's one of those but it's
Speaker 1: one of those things. And we never punched in the face.
Speaker 1: But it's a lot of wrestling and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: But if you know, it's one of those things where
Speaker 1: it's like we could fight each other, but the second
Speaker 1: somebody said something to the other one, it's like, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: they're so protective of each other. And and and now
Speaker 1: even like it quick like even like your radio gig,
Speaker 1: like you came to town to do the radio gig
Speaker 1: to hold a spot for Tim because he was he
Speaker 1: wasn't able to get that gig, so you were like,
Speaker 1: I'll keep a place for you until you become free
Speaker 1: to work here again. And then like like you guys,
Speaker 1: look at we all have gotten each other jobs and
Speaker 1: we've tried to work with each other a bunch. But
Speaker 1: the best is when you're like really young and you're
Speaker 1: like fighting. Anytime the two of us would fight, the
Speaker 1: other one would like come in and like get like
Speaker 1: kicks in whoever whoever was like, you know, look on
Speaker 1: the out it would be like me and Tim are
Speaker 1: fighting current company, Like Chris was a jerk to me
Speaker 1: today and get you a middle meddal Yeah, number two
Speaker 1: in birth or number one in their hearts. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: what are the year difference? Eighteen basic basically two years,
Speaker 1: So it's Tim eighteen months than two years in current.
Speaker 1: So you guys are Kai and Khakis four years after
Speaker 1: that and you're the middle child of three boys as well. Yeah,
Speaker 1: two years and nine months is my older brother and
Speaker 1: then years younger. We would fight. Yeah, he outsmarted me
Speaker 1: a lot, but I was the better athlete power him.
Speaker 1: I could. I was small though, I was really small.
Speaker 1: But you had heart. The guy had heart. I had
Speaker 1: a lot of heart. I really did. They remember coach
Speaker 1: Wally Myers. He goes, if you had the heart of Colin,
Speaker 1: you guys would all be all State. And I was like,
Speaker 1: but you're kind of saying I sucked in a way too,
Speaker 1: in a big way, that's what they say. And Rudy,
Speaker 1: they were like, if anybody had half the heart of Rudy,
Speaker 1: they'd be all American. They'd end up in jail for financials.
Speaker 1: You're the Florida Rudy. It's like, hey, come on, we'll
Speaker 1: be right anti semitic, but thank you with the call
Speaker 1: back ham grip. We'll be right back up. Alright, we're back, Um,
Speaker 1: sorry for interrupting your book thing. No, no, no, I
Speaker 1: actually wanted to say the thing about like if you
Speaker 1: had as much hard as Andrew Colin. It reminds me
Speaker 1: of when I was in field hockey and my I
Speaker 1: think I've told this before, but my coach's husband called
Speaker 1: me one day. I was calling her and I think
Speaker 1: he was on the phone. He was like, they were
Speaker 1: about to have a baby, and he was like, I
Speaker 1: just hope my daughter turns out like It would be
Speaker 1: great if she turned out exactly like you. You're someone
Speaker 1: that I would hope my daughter would be like. And
Speaker 1: I thought he was talking about my like playing, and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I'm not even that good. I
Speaker 1: feels like he goes, oh god, no, not that just
Speaker 1: in general, and I remember being both offended and like delighted.
Speaker 1: But I remember him being like, oh wait, no, you
Speaker 1: think I'm talking about your No, I read your English paper.
Speaker 1: Good grand Now you haven't talked to boys for all
Speaker 1: four years of high school. That's hard to get for
Speaker 1: this guy across town. I've never like in love with
Speaker 1: you and really would have had art. I was just
Speaker 1: so scared of boys. I really was. I want to
Speaker 1: see like a side by side of YouTube, like photos
Speaker 1: from high school, like sometimes senior year would they date,
Speaker 1: And I think you would have been into me. I
Speaker 1: was a little I got a little chunky um towards
Speaker 1: the end, but not in a way that like it
Speaker 1: was adorable. I mean, you've seen one picture of you
Speaker 1: where I looked like a sub librarian. That adorable I was.
Speaker 1: But you and your friends were the funniest thing. You
Speaker 1: would have liked, my friend. So I'm always so impressed
Speaker 1: with you and your friendships. They were I am, so
Speaker 1: I'm also so proud of them. Okay, So the book
Speaker 1: i'm reading, it's called Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself.
Speaker 1: I found it on reddit um. It was recommended in
Speaker 1: the subreddit books as a book that's changed someone's life.
Speaker 1: And then I posted about it yesterday in my instant
Speaker 1: game story and my friend Brian Frangie, our friend, wrote
Speaker 1: to me and said, this book changed my robot. Brian Frandie,
Speaker 1: this book changed my life and um, he said it
Speaker 1: really helped me. What did he say? He really helped
Speaker 1: me yesterday? He's what a good guy. Brian Frangie is
Speaker 1: one of the funniest people. Got him on the show.
Speaker 1: You have to have him on the show. He's so funny.
Speaker 1: He's so funny. He has a website called the Apple
Speaker 1: List where wait, is that what it's called. He says
Speaker 1: that I'm the number one Apple influencer, which is true.
Speaker 1: And he does cartoons and he's written for Adam Ruins
Speaker 1: everything a ton of he does stand up um. Apple
Speaker 1: rankings is what it's called Apple rankings dot com and
Speaker 1: it's a hilarious description of the best apples and the
Speaker 1: worst apples and he ranks them all. So if you
Speaker 1: want to check out Apple Rankings. But anyway, Brian, I
Speaker 1: posted it and he goes, um um. This was a
Speaker 1: seminal work in the program I did to deal with
Speaker 1: recurring symptoms. It's also definitely in the Sarno Realms. Dr
Speaker 1: you know John starting to Know the back doctor that
Speaker 1: has the book Healing Back Pain. If you have a
Speaker 1: friend that is suffering with back pain, send them that
Speaker 1: book and their back pain will go away. And he said,
Speaker 1: And I can think almost everyone can benefit from this perspective,
Speaker 1: but all depends what your goals are. And um, so
Speaker 1: I'm reading this book and it's blowing my god damn mind.
Speaker 1: Because we were talking about prayer before. So I've always
Speaker 1: been like, I just got into praying, like when I
Speaker 1: got in eating sort of recovery about like choosing a
Speaker 1: god of my own understanding, higher power type thing, and
Speaker 1: I didn't really know what it was, but I just
Speaker 1: knew that when I did pray and I asked God
Speaker 1: for help or ask God like I remember doing Bill
Speaker 1: Maher and being so nervous about it on backstage, and
Speaker 1: I was just like, and I've never done things like this,
Speaker 1: but I was just like, God, will you please be
Speaker 1: with me during this whatever that means. And I'm not
Speaker 1: a religious person at all, and so but it just
Speaker 1: helps me and I just I've seen the benefits of it.
Speaker 1: But this book has made me realize the science behind
Speaker 1: it because it's talking about quantum physics this book, and now, Adams,
Speaker 1: I don't know anything about quantum things, what quantums was,
Speaker 1: and this is obviously the dumbest person that could ever
Speaker 1: be telling you about it, what it is. But what
Speaker 1: I've learned from this is that atoms used to be
Speaker 1: thought of as you know, the atoms that make up matter.
Speaker 1: We're all thought of as material, and then there's energy
Speaker 1: in the world and there's material, and atoms are all
Speaker 1: just material. Once you zoom in, there's like a physical
Speaker 1: thing that you can see. But what they found was
Speaker 1: that the atom would only show up where you wanted
Speaker 1: to see it. So it was a ball of energy
Speaker 1: that would be invisible unless you you focused on a
Speaker 1: certain part and then it would show up. So it
Speaker 1: showed that when you give your focus, your attention as
Speaker 1: a human being, your consciousness, you give your focus to something,
Speaker 1: you can materialize matter that is not there and it's
Speaker 1: just an energy, and you can materialize things happening. And
Speaker 1: this is really tapping into like why the secret works,
Speaker 1: why it might be is it I've never seen it?
Speaker 1: Oh yes, yes, do you see the atom? You see
Speaker 1: the energy when you when you focus on it, when
Speaker 1: you look for it, if you feel God. So this
Speaker 1: is the point he makes. And I'm just in the
Speaker 1: first chapter, but when it talks about not I'm in
Speaker 1: the second chapter actually, but he explains quantum physics. He's like,
Speaker 1: let me just give you a cursory explanation to get
Speaker 1: you on board. But what he his point is is
Speaker 1: that they didn't experiment back in the like this random
Speaker 1: experiment where they had people pray for patients that had sepsis.
Speaker 1: In this hospital. They were like hundreds of patients with sepsis,
Speaker 1: which is like a you know, once your your blood starts.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, but it's like a
Speaker 1: bacterial thing and you can die from it. And these
Speaker 1: people they had to pray um. There was a group
Speaker 1: of people that they they these emotionally like really positive
Speaker 1: people prayed, and then they had these other people that
Speaker 1: were agnostic of emotion, just didn't really believe in prayer,
Speaker 1: and they had them prayer say the same kind of prayer.
Speaker 1: And the interesting thing about this is that the people
Speaker 1: that got prayed for um got better a lot sooner.
Speaker 1: They both died at the same kind of rate, but
Speaker 1: the ones they recovered sooner, the ones that did recover,
Speaker 1: we're the ones that were prayed for. Did they know
Speaker 1: that pray for? No, Because the interesting part is is
Speaker 1: that these patients were from like hundreds of years ago.
Speaker 1: They chose patients to pray for from the past, and
Speaker 1: these people did not know they were praying for people
Speaker 1: in the past. So it is an example of that
Speaker 1: your energy can not only the energy you give towards something.
Speaker 1: If you have both intention emotional intention, like you want something,
Speaker 1: but you also have the motion behind it, um you
Speaker 1: can change the past and future. You can affect both things.
Speaker 1: It's really like out there and crazy, but it is
Speaker 1: about if you It's about manifestation really and the science
Speaker 1: behind it. Because I've always been like, so too, will
Speaker 1: will this manifestation for people that have already died, and
Speaker 1: it's gonna affect change. It's not gonna change the past,
Speaker 1: but the past will be affected by it somehow because
Speaker 1: because the past and present and future are all one thing,
Speaker 1: they've already all happened in some way because as of
Speaker 1: determinism or so it's it's almost as if those patients
Speaker 1: were affected by the future because the future had already
Speaker 1: actually happened in another dimension. So what it is is
Speaker 1: that your life, the way you want it to be,
Speaker 1: or whatever you see for yourself, there's some dimension where
Speaker 1: that's happening. All you have to do is focus on
Speaker 1: that and you will see it. Much like they see
Speaker 1: uh particles in these atoms once they focus on it.
Speaker 1: It's not there until they focus on it. So if
Speaker 1: you So he talks about his daughter, telling his daughter like,
Speaker 1: what do you want for your life? Like what's what
Speaker 1: are you looking to have? And she's like, oh, this
Speaker 1: summer I want to like you know, I want to
Speaker 1: spend six weeks in Italy. I want to work there.
Speaker 1: I want to make money while I do it. And
Speaker 1: he's like, okay, well you know what you need to do,
Speaker 1: Like she's his daughter and he's been talking about this
Speaker 1: for years and so she I don't know the exact
Speaker 1: He's going to teach you how to do it. But
Speaker 1: you have to envision your life. You have to like meditate.
Speaker 1: I'm guessing this is what happens. You meditate on what
Speaker 1: you want, and you have to not just think about
Speaker 1: your future self doing it. You have to actually think
Speaker 1: you've done it. You have to be someone that lived
Speaker 1: in Italy. You have to and you have to be
Speaker 1: grateful for something that hasn't even happened yet and be
Speaker 1: like I'm so glad I get to live in Italy.
Speaker 1: And if you can get to that place where you
Speaker 1: actually the thing you want to manifest, you actually believe
Speaker 1: for yourself, you can put into action all these things.
Speaker 1: And I think it's one of the reasons that I
Speaker 1: have been successful in in comedy is because it never
Speaker 1: was something I didn't I knew it was gonna happen.
Speaker 1: I had the intention, the emotion behind it was congruent
Speaker 1: with my what I wanted. Because a lot of people
Speaker 1: want things and they go but secularly I can never
Speaker 1: have them, and you won't get them because it's not congruent.
Speaker 1: Your emotion and your intent needs to be the same.
Speaker 1: And I feel like I always knew I was going
Speaker 1: to be successful for some reason in entertainment. I just
Speaker 1: knew it, and I pictured it. I pictured being on stage.
Speaker 1: I envisioned it. I am like sang the song Lucky
Speaker 1: and imagine being Britney Spears and like singing that song
Speaker 1: and being like, she's so lucky, She's a stark but
Speaker 1: she cries, and I like it. I think even though
Speaker 1: I didn't know I was doing it, I was somehow
Speaker 1: late at night when I was sleeping in bed and
Speaker 1: imagining my future, I was giving my attention to a
Speaker 1: a quantum version of myself that wasn't there until I'd
Speaker 1: given him. There's there's a book that I read where
Speaker 1: high performing athletes talk about their strategy, like Olympic athletes
Speaker 1: and stuff, And you're reminding me of one. Um. I
Speaker 1: think it was a soccer player who was out for
Speaker 1: an injury or something, and um, he couldn't practice before
Speaker 1: they're you know, like I don't know what the big
Speaker 1: matches called, but he was saying that like match okay
Speaker 1: for the big, big match, the biggest meat of them all.
Speaker 1: And um, he was saying that he had to visualize
Speaker 1: down to the smell of the grass, like that's how
Speaker 1: deep the visualization went. And he would take maybe an
Speaker 1: hour to three hours every day and he would visualize
Speaker 1: the game him playing, and he like they have like
Speaker 1: the best game ever. His his performance was the best
Speaker 1: game ever. Yeah. I've always wondered why this prayer thing works,
Speaker 1: why manifestation works, and it's because there is science behind it.
Speaker 1: It's like this, this book is totally making me believe
Speaker 1: in a thing that I would have always thought was
Speaker 1: complete witchcraft. WHOI but I'm like, oh, if particles are
Speaker 1: only seen under a microscope, once the scientists looks at
Speaker 1: them and gives them the intention and the the attention
Speaker 1: and intention, then what there there's millions. There's infinite possibilities
Speaker 1: for what your life looks like, and they all are
Speaker 1: somewhere in a different dimension, and the only way that
Speaker 1: you're going to be able to like see those is
Speaker 1: to is to actually envision it. And he says that
Speaker 1: a lot of people are like, you know, they'll manifest
Speaker 1: wealth by being like I want to be wealthy, I
Speaker 1: want to invite money into my life. But secretly there's
Speaker 1: a part of them that goes, I don't. I'm not
Speaker 1: it's not gonna happen. It's not gonna happen. But if
Speaker 1: if you and I think that that's something that has
Speaker 1: held me back to is like wanting um a type
Speaker 1: of relationship, wanting um, you know, a relationship with myself.
Speaker 1: Even like projecting like what kind of woman I want
Speaker 1: to be, It's always like, yeah, I can get my
Speaker 1: household organized, but I'm still going to be like a
Speaker 1: stinky lady. And there's this part of me that's like,
Speaker 1: you don't deserve this. But if I just really work
Speaker 1: and read the rest of this book honestly to learn
Speaker 1: how to trick my brain and actually think that I
Speaker 1: have these things like I'm gonna I started last night,
Speaker 1: I started imagining myself performing at Madison Square Garden with
Speaker 1: a guitar, singing, and I'm like picturing the front row,
Speaker 1: picturing that I can't see hearing the roar, which is
Speaker 1: a total insane dream. But honestly it's not. It might
Speaker 1: be a might be a sound check for when I
Speaker 1: you can't stand up, there no stand up. I've already
Speaker 1: achieved what I want to, like, I'm good. Your first
Speaker 1: manifestation really should be manifesting finishing that book. If you do,
Speaker 1: then you're not hold on there. Okay, So how it's
Speaker 1: going to feel to turn the last page? Oh god,
Speaker 1: and see the I, S, T N number and barcode
Speaker 1: on the back. It is interesting to like, what separates
Speaker 1: someone from if they have equal ability? Yeah? How does
Speaker 1: that one person? And h like all these comedians we
Speaker 1: know that are so funny that just haven't made it
Speaker 1: and they deserve it as much as so many people
Speaker 1: that have made it, if not more, because of their
Speaker 1: skill level. And you go, what is it in part
Speaker 1: self doubt? Well, it self doubt. It's not believing in themselves.
Speaker 1: It's marketing. It's it's a lot of things other than
Speaker 1: just marketing, is believing in yourself and things. For sure,
Speaker 1: people deserve to see me. It's a lot of things.
Speaker 1: A lot of it comes down to luck, you know.
Speaker 1: It's the same thing with with musicians. How many how
Speaker 1: many musicians do you know that are just unbelievably talented.
Speaker 1: You can't believe how good they are. They're not even
Speaker 1: on a record YouTube. I watched people, do you know
Speaker 1: all google covers of certain songs. I'm like, this girl's voice,
Speaker 1: how is this not? It's better than Kerry's, better than
Speaker 1: Lady Gaga? Discouraged because I'm like, if I want to
Speaker 1: be a singer, what this girl is like not even
Speaker 1: trying in her bedroom? She's seventeen. White. But then I
Speaker 1: realized it's because all that we have talked about this before,
Speaker 1: like people like different sounding voices, like Noah likes roaring men.
Speaker 1: You know, she like what was the name of the
Speaker 1: band that you said yesterday? Lemons and maggots, maggots. We
Speaker 1: were talking about old um like the you know, the
Speaker 1: way they used to do surgery and stuff in during
Speaker 1: the you know, turn of the century whatever, back in
Speaker 1: the day. I think I think we live in a
Speaker 1: world now. If you are talented because of the Internet
Speaker 1: as a comedian, this is the best time ever for
Speaker 1: you to become uh a working comedian where you don't
Speaker 1: have to worry about getting five minutes on late night,
Speaker 1: you don't have to worry about getting thirty minutes. It's
Speaker 1: still those things can matter and it solidifies you. But
Speaker 1: if you see someone like uh Namash Patel, he's completely
Speaker 1: an Michael Malone who was at The Funny One this weekend, Chris.
Speaker 1: Chris is starting a podcast, and he sent me an
Speaker 1: episode that he and Tim did with do you name
Speaker 1: for your podcast yet? Mm hmm. I mean, I wanted
Speaker 1: to call it Breakfast for Dinner, but it's called to
Speaker 1: be called the Convey Brothers podcast. Breakfast for Dinner is
Speaker 1: so good though, but yes, it's like a little special,
Speaker 1: like exciting treat. But you're the episode you said me
Speaker 1: was so freaking good. It was with Michael Malone, who
Speaker 1: I really recommend checking out his stand up. He's someone
Speaker 1: who is also like not waiting for gatekeepers to like
Speaker 1: let give him a late night set, he said, for
Speaker 1: the first I've known him for twenty years almost maybe more.
Speaker 1: I don't even know at this point depending on what
Speaker 1: my ages today. And he said, um, last year was
Speaker 1: the first time in twenty years of doing standard they's
Speaker 1: submitted for a late night set and he's done it
Speaker 1: all himself. He has two specials out, one on Amazon Prime.
Speaker 1: One's called UM. The name is she was So Good?
Speaker 1: Do you remember what it was called life Laugh After Death? Yes,
Speaker 1: what a great name. Some serious tragedy. This weekend I
Speaker 1: was brought on stage at UM the Lady Journey podcast
Speaker 1: which will be up soon with Sarah Tollamash and um,
Speaker 1: Katie Hanagan? Is that Katie Hanagan? Right? And they brought
Speaker 1: me up and said, you know, check out our specially
Speaker 1: good clean field and I gotta laugh in the room
Speaker 1: that title. Final thought. Let's do um Reddit karaoke mode.
Speaker 1: This is your reddit, all right? So this is where
Speaker 1: I go through my reddit. Um. So this is from
Speaker 1: asked credit and it says what's a dark secret you
Speaker 1: want to get off your chest? And it has in
Speaker 1: brackets serious so serious replies only because sometimes people and
Speaker 1: read it always try to be funny. Um. Someone said
Speaker 1: when I was seven, I was home alone. I called
Speaker 1: nine one one due to a house fire. That consumed
Speaker 1: half the house and they found me outside my mother,
Speaker 1: who was at work. I was a latch key kid.
Speaker 1: Was told by fire department that it was an electrical fire.
Speaker 1: In truth, I had a lighter and was fascinated by fire.
Speaker 1: It was burning the little tassels at the end of
Speaker 1: the blanket on my bed, putting them out before it
Speaker 1: caught the whole blanket on fire until I wasn't able
Speaker 1: to and the whole bed caught fire. Um, I'm forty now.
Speaker 1: My mother still doesn't know the truth, and I still
Speaker 1: remember it all vividly, complete with the heat on my
Speaker 1: face as I tried in vain to put out the bed.
Speaker 1: WHOA did you so it's kind of your fire phase.
Speaker 1: Did you ever go through the phase where you take
Speaker 1: a lighter and you like just hold down the black
Speaker 1: button and all the gas comes out and then you
Speaker 1: light it like on your closer skin, remember we were
Speaker 1: doing Yes, don't do that, kid, Or you could put
Speaker 1: it in your hand, all the gas and then you
Speaker 1: light it and then you open your hand. Or did
Speaker 1: you ever have the girls that would hold the lighter
Speaker 1: and they hold it they tilted so the whole metal
Speaker 1: part got really hot and then they'd sinched their skin.
Speaker 1: It looked like a smiley face, like the tooth parts
Speaker 1: that you click you slide your fingers down. Those were
Speaker 1: the two eyes. They were like slits and then the
Speaker 1: little part where the flame comes out like a smiling face.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, did you ever do that thing where it's
Speaker 1: like somebody's birthday and you put all these candles in
Speaker 1: a cake and then you just lit. Yeah, dude, that's weird. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: no one ever celebrated his birthday. Oh that's what I
Speaker 1: would show me that later. Um. Once, someone said, I snort.
Speaker 1: I used to smoke matches. That was a dumb thing,
Speaker 1: like I would like to match and then it would
Speaker 1: that that ignite it. No, I would do it alone,
Speaker 1: wise on the shipter with my pants on the tennis
Speaker 1: ball container, hoping those take good with that's gotta be toxic. Um.
Speaker 1: This person said, I worked on SpongeBob square Pants The
Speaker 1: Yellow Avenger and know for a fact that the game
Speaker 1: cannot be completed on the DS version. Not my fault,
Speaker 1: but I hate that it shipped like that, and I
Speaker 1: feel sorry for anyone who seriously tries I like. Um.
Speaker 1: Someone said, I asked credit, what is the best non sexual,
Speaker 1: non drug related physical sensation you've ever experienced. And this
Speaker 1: is a question I'd like us all to try to answer,
Speaker 1: non drug, non sexual related physical sensation you've ever experienced.
Speaker 1: Someone said, when you're a kid and you play in
Speaker 1: the pool or in the ocean all day, and you
Speaker 1: come home and get a shower, uh, and go to
Speaker 1: your room and the air conditioning has been running. You've
Speaker 1: been playing all day in our exhausted your skin is tight,
Speaker 1: kind of tight for being in the sun and water.
Speaker 1: Your eyes are tired from squinting. And you get in
Speaker 1: your nice cool bed and curl up and take a
Speaker 1: post pool slash beach nap. That's good. That reminded me
Speaker 1: of have you ever got gone to a it's been
Speaker 1: playing in the ocean all day, or gone to an
Speaker 1: amusement park, and then you come home that night, you
Speaker 1: go to bed and you can feel like like the
Speaker 1: sensation of being in the waves. Sometimes if I think
Speaker 1: about our relationship and that night, it feels exactly like
Speaker 1: being on a roller coaster all day long. Um. Someone said,
Speaker 1: laughing at a really good joke is one of the
Speaker 1: best feelings in the world. And I gotta say, like,
Speaker 1: we went to the comedy club on Friday night to
Speaker 1: see Dan Mints. I quoted some of his jokes yesterday's episode.
Speaker 1: But what was one of your favorites do you remember? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean the cub Scout Well, the Satan one was
Speaker 1: probably one of my will you say it? Yeah it was.
Speaker 1: He said, you know, he's he's doing one liner, so
Speaker 1: he's just going, you know, bam bam bam right through
Speaker 1: him and he goes, I'm probably gonna go to hell
Speaker 1: for this next one. He goes, I pledge my undying
Speaker 1: loyalty to Satan and then will you help me with
Speaker 1: the cub Scout one? Yeah, a pack of day Habit
Speaker 1: is really disgusting, especially if you're pedophile cup Scout leader. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: is that it? And something like that? Um yeah, I
Speaker 1: just it was so nice to laugh so hard. And
Speaker 1: I had been really depressed that day and almost thought
Speaker 1: about bailing on the whole night because I was like,
Speaker 1: I just don't feel like even being forced to laugh
Speaker 1: because it's not going to work. And man, it helped.
Speaker 1: It was so good. What do you guys think of
Speaker 1: a physical sensation that feels good that isn't sex or
Speaker 1: I gotta not to brag, but you know, spend some
Speaker 1: time in Paris and I got my hair was very
Speaker 1: long and curly and disgusting, and the person that cut
Speaker 1: my hair, I'd never have gotten a head massage from
Speaker 1: hairstylist before, and I didn't even know they do that,
Speaker 1: And this girl did it for forty minutes, and it
Speaker 1: was like, do you ever Brinish give you one? You
Speaker 1: should ask for forty minutes? Yeah, I should probably do
Speaker 1: it for well, there is a place in St. Louis
Speaker 1: that does do it called Lady Jane that sounds like
Speaker 1: you might get other head They don't, they don't cut
Speaker 1: your hair, but no, but a head missage that had
Speaker 1: massage I still think about today because you know, I
Speaker 1: never got one before and it was just it was
Speaker 1: so much longer than it should have been. Yeah, did
Speaker 1: you like almost feel afterwards like I feel after a
Speaker 1: massage sometimes where I'm like, are you gonna call me? Like?
Speaker 1: Did you feel like almost an attachment? That was like
Speaker 1: sad that I knew that that would never happen again
Speaker 1: in America. In America, yeah, that I would have to
Speaker 1: move to France and learned French. Do you have my
Speaker 1: wife is the only one I've been with. Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I said that yesterday. Did did you do the My
Speaker 1: wife died? My wife died snorkeling when we were in
Speaker 1: the Bahamas. She died doing what she loved, ruining my vacations.
Speaker 1: That was perfect. I forgot that one. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: one of For me, it's rides like I do legitimately
Speaker 1: love roller coasters and like, you know this is going
Speaker 1: to sound like I do, like, oh, going going fast
Speaker 1: down a hill on a bike is one of the
Speaker 1: greatest feelings that I currently get to have. And then skydiving.
Speaker 1: I know that that one's like probably pretty obvious, but
Speaker 1: also like that feeling of being like a little bit
Speaker 1: weightless while you're riding. Scuba diving, Yeah, scuba diving was
Speaker 1: an insane feeling. It was. It wasn't as physically like
Speaker 1: I don't put it up there with like sex and
Speaker 1: um what was the other one that drugs in terms
Speaker 1: of like but or like something you fork, but it
Speaker 1: was there was just a stillness about it that it
Speaker 1: was me. It was my first glimpse into what like meditation,
Speaker 1: meditation could be for me. The other one is that
Speaker 1: feeling you get when you're during Christmas, when you're cutting
Speaker 1: wrapping paper and all of a sudden, the scissors, Yeah,
Speaker 1: just smooth. That was so good mine is probably that
Speaker 1: is a nice thing when you cut once and then
Speaker 1: you slash. My grandma like doing tickies on my back
Speaker 1: of like gentle, like laying across her stomach in my twenties. No, um,
Speaker 1: my grandpa rubbing my back was just gentle with her fingers.
Speaker 1: And then she would draw animals and I would have
Speaker 1: to guess what they are and that is like. That
Speaker 1: to me was like it's been a good artist. How
Speaker 1: can you tell between a dog and account Well, you
Speaker 1: can do like it has a long neck. And then
Speaker 1: I was doing it to your nephews the other day
Speaker 1: and they loved it. I was like so excited to
Speaker 1: play this game and they were like dum and it's
Speaker 1: so cute. I was like having a trouble coming up
Speaker 1: with animals that kids would know. My mom did this
Speaker 1: thing I loved where she would take your chin and
Speaker 1: pull a hair off like that, do it relax with
Speaker 1: your teeth. Oh that's fine, that is good. You don't
Speaker 1: really realize how much tension you have in your face,
Speaker 1: and like right here, if you just go like this,
Speaker 1: for a three psychego oh, I've been holding on something
Speaker 1: from twenty years ago right here? Yes, like it's kind
Speaker 1: of wild. He's like, I don't know, No, what's something
Speaker 1: you fork for you? Well, you guys are giving such
Speaker 1: like thoughtful sweet answers. And the thing that I could
Speaker 1: think of is, it's so stupid. It's when you choke
Speaker 1: some fool out on the mats. No, but I don't
Speaker 1: know if anyone's ever done ear candling. Oh yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: so you do ear candling and it takes the wax
Speaker 1: out of your ears. Some people don't believe it does,
Speaker 1: but for me it does. Then you take a Q tip,
Speaker 1: you take some of the cotton off, I know you
Speaker 1: don't like cotton separation, and then you stick the Q
Speaker 1: tip inside so far in that you're like touching the
Speaker 1: bone and coming it very gently, and it feels amazing.
Speaker 1: It's you for like the song lyrics to us your
Speaker 1: favorite Yeah wait you honestly no, that's so. And I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to put it a Q tipin with the cotton.
Speaker 1: You take it off, pull of it off. You just
Speaker 1: make it a little thinner so it goes all the
Speaker 1: way and oh my god, bunch of gunk on there. Um,
Speaker 1: it's not really gunk, but it's just like it touches
Speaker 1: this very sensitive part of the ear and it's almost orgasmic.
Speaker 1: I I know what you're talking about. And there's there's
Speaker 1: certain feelings that having my feet rubbed in a certain
Speaker 1: way a s MR also for me was a huge
Speaker 1: like orgasmic feeling. Um. This was a funny UM I
Speaker 1: guess tweet from Suspiciously Specific, which is one of my favorites,
Speaker 1: and it says asparagus grows like it's trying to prank
Speaker 1: some idiot into thinking this is how asparagus grows. It
Speaker 1: looks like just stalks sticking out of the ground. Just
Speaker 1: poked them in the ground, like you know, you're putting
Speaker 1: down a tent. Yes. Um, and then wait, I'm sorry
Speaker 1: you lost my place. So asparagus isn't like on a
Speaker 1: tree or anything. That's yeah, I mean what was that?
Speaker 1: Does asparagus make your pe smell very easily? No it doesn't.
Speaker 1: But it's a different gene. This was something I think
Speaker 1: I did on read at one time. It's a different gene.
Speaker 1: It's a um to be able to smell asparagus. P
Speaker 1: And then to also have your p affected by asparagus.
Speaker 1: So some people can smell their own asparagus P. Some
Speaker 1: people have asparagus pe smell and can't smell it, and
Speaker 1: some people have neither. And I don't know which I am,
Speaker 1: because you wouldn't know if you're no one's ever smelling
Speaker 1: my asparagus P except me, and if I don't, I
Speaker 1: definitely don't have the gene. H you could smell it,
Speaker 1: or maybe I do and I just don't have it.
Speaker 1: You don't know. Did you find any fun tweets or anything?
Speaker 1: I found one that I liked this. I found this
Speaker 1: onement earlier today from Isabel Steckle says whenever I whenever
Speaker 1: I switched sleep positions, I'm like, this one's going to
Speaker 1: be huge for me. It's so true. I was having
Speaker 1: restless leg last night and I was like, fight it.
Speaker 1: See what happens when you fight it and you just
Speaker 1: go You're not going to die, there's nothing like and
Speaker 1: just try to detach. I was almost getting meditative about it,
Speaker 1: where I'm like, you don't have a body, just late like,
Speaker 1: observe the pain that's going on in your leg instead
Speaker 1: of trying to make it go away. Just like be
Speaker 1: curious about it, like a panic attack, and it actually
Speaker 1: made them go away because it was it was keeping
Speaker 1: me up. I couldn't stop. Every so often it would
Speaker 1: just be this tingling that was like change positions. Just
Speaker 1: I get foot pain. And what helps me is connecting.
Speaker 1: You know, when you sleep, your feet are kind of
Speaker 1: like they're not touching the bet. Your bottom of your
Speaker 1: feet are never touching the bet. It. But if you
Speaker 1: can connect your feet to the bed, you can feel
Speaker 1: more I don't know, they'red and more grounded. But I
Speaker 1: sleep on my stomach, so that's going to be hard.
Speaker 1: You sleep when you're back, No, I sleep sometimes if
Speaker 1: I want to ground my feet, I'll go it. So
Speaker 1: I'm sleeping like this and then I'll just go like that.
Speaker 1: Have you heard of ground not your kids, where you
Speaker 1: lay on the earth and like become one with like
Speaker 1: the soil and you try to get you take your shoes,
Speaker 1: your your socks off and feel the grass and your toe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's supposed to help you. There's something to do
Speaker 1: it when you garden and your shirts off. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: said on a tree the other day, like it's it's
Speaker 1: rates in this Boston park and it was so like
Speaker 1: peaceful to like sit on this tree and be like
Speaker 1: connected to it. Yeah, I get that. It was like
Speaker 1: a little chair on this tree and I just sat
Speaker 1: in it and it was just like I am. I
Speaker 1: felt like Pocahontas. But there are tons of studies that
Speaker 1: are like being out in nature right now, Like a
Speaker 1: park in Boston isn't necessarily nature, but I felt like it.
Speaker 1: Being in nature is like huge for our mental health,
Speaker 1: I know, and it's it's I was talking to a
Speaker 1: depressed person last night who is probably listening to the
Speaker 1: podcast shout out to tell um he also runs depressed,
Speaker 1: and we I was suffering really a lot in the
Speaker 1: past like five days with it, and he was he
Speaker 1: was too, and I was like, dude, the thing that
Speaker 1: has helped me so much is like just going and
Speaker 1: first of all, getting my dog here from my parents,
Speaker 1: because it forces me to go outside and walk him,
Speaker 1: like a walk around the fucking block. And I know
Speaker 1: that depressed people are like, I can't even do that.
Speaker 1: I know you can't, But if you can just go
Speaker 1: outside for like thirty seconds and get some fucking sun,
Speaker 1: it's so it's something, man, it does something. I gotta
Speaker 1: be in nature more and you gotta force me to
Speaker 1: do it, babe, because no problem. Glaze ch is a
Speaker 1: whole list of things to do when we're quiet. Oh
Speaker 1: it's a jam. You can literally walk a half a
Speaker 1: mile and you could be complete, silence complete. I was
Speaker 1: in the middle of this field on Saturday at five
Speaker 1: o'clock and I'm not thing you around me. I did
Speaker 1: a panorama shop because it was like we could have
Speaker 1: filmed an end of the world seen there, because there
Speaker 1: was no one at five o'clock on a Saturday in August.
Speaker 1: It was like and I it was probably a quarter
Speaker 1: mile I could see around me and there wasn't a
Speaker 1: single soul, and it was I talked to God out
Speaker 1: there like I was talking to birds. I was like
Speaker 1: I could scream in a way that I couldn't even
Speaker 1: scream in my apartment. Um, and then I got scared
Speaker 1: about getting raped because I was like, no one, what
Speaker 1: do you're making So that I ran home. But people
Speaker 1: probably live because that's not a lot of your best
Speaker 1: seas live in St. Louis necessarily, But people probably live
Speaker 1: in places that they've never explored. Their biggest park in
Speaker 1: their city, like you know St. Louis park is amazing,
Speaker 1: but I'm sure there's parks nearer people that they should
Speaker 1: just go check out. There's there's like national parks close
Speaker 1: to people, and like even more local parks. Just walking
Speaker 1: through those paths. They're all over the country, listening to
Speaker 1: the like taking your headphones out, listening to the grass
Speaker 1: like on your shoe, or like the grab ole like
Speaker 1: ship like that. Just getting mindful and just getting close
Speaker 1: with God, whatever your version of it is. Quantum physics. Man, guys,
Speaker 1: thank you guys so much for listening to the podcast. Um, Chris,
Speaker 1: You're an amazing guest. I love I love having you here.
Speaker 1: I would invite you back tomorrow. But can I say
Speaker 1: one thing to the best He's Yeah, I'm always nervous
Speaker 1: coming on the show just because you guys are so
Speaker 1: good and such, you know, like awesome professionals. But the
Speaker 1: Besties have been so nice to me and have really yeah,
Speaker 1: people have said some God, I thank you too, people
Speaker 1: for being supportive. It's really a cool group to be
Speaker 1: a part. I always get positive feedback when you're on
Speaker 1: the show. And if you want more of Chris and
Speaker 1: more of just me too, because I'm often on the show,
Speaker 1: You've got to check out The Courtney Show. UM podcast.
Speaker 1: It's every day they upload it. Chris writes the descriptions
Speaker 1: for the show, and that alone is enough to like,
Speaker 1: look at the show on the podcast app. The descriptions
Speaker 1: are so funny. The name of the shows are funny.
Speaker 1: He'll name it like the one where we had a
Speaker 1: pretty good time in the last half, and it'll be like, listen,
Speaker 1: not everything's gonna go the way, like if you don't
Speaker 1: need to listen to the first part of the podcast,
Speaker 1: but we really had fun on the second, Like so
Speaker 1: many people listening to the first part. The first part
Speaker 1: of your show is my favorite because they talk about
Speaker 1: like their weekends. It's kind of like our show. I mean,
Speaker 1: I modeled this after a morning radio show because I
Speaker 1: wanted it to be daily. And his show is so
Speaker 1: fun And if you like our show, I just know
Speaker 1: you'll like his. And it's called The Courtney Show. And
Speaker 1: you can get it um wherever Apple podcasts are. And
Speaker 1: if you're up early in the morning and you've already
Speaker 1: listened to our postcasts from the night before and you
Speaker 1: have no podcasts to listen to UM, if you download
Speaker 1: the arch app UM, you can listen to his show
Speaker 1: live from six to ten Central Time, anywhere you are.
Speaker 1: And so I'm whenever I'm on the road, I'm always
Speaker 1: so glad. When I'm like also on East Coast because
Speaker 1: i wake up at like nine, I'm like, yes, they
Speaker 1: have three more hours of the show left. It does
Speaker 1: help us feel close because you'll listen in text and
Speaker 1: it just it feels like an American tale. You can
Speaker 1: text into his show. He reads the text on air.
Speaker 1: It's like a live experience. It's so much fun. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't recommend it just because he's my boyfriend. It honestly,
Speaker 1: it's one of the reasons whenever we've broken up that
Speaker 1: I've honestly been like very sad. It's because it would
Speaker 1: be like it would be hard to listen to if
Speaker 1: we work together, and it's so it brings me so
Speaker 1: much joy. So check out The Courty Show download the
Speaker 1: arch app if you want to listen live um, but
Speaker 1: you can also get it as a podcast. Go see
Speaker 1: Andrew April Tuesday, auguste Tuesday, Zany's Nashville. Please go support him.
Speaker 1: He is headlining. It is his first big headlining gig
Speaker 1: in you know, a major market, and we want people
Speaker 1: to come out and support him and make him feel
Speaker 1: really good about It's gonna be so much fun. You're
Speaker 1: going to kill it because I know you have. I
Speaker 1: can't wait to see it, and I'm sure you're going
Speaker 1: to clip the funk out of it, right Yeah, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm definite that, um. And then you can come see
Speaker 1: me in Vegas. If you're looking for a last minute
Speaker 1: trip at the end of the summer to tack on,
Speaker 1: why don't you go out to Vegas September two. I
Speaker 1: am there at UM the Theater at Virgin Hotels, So
Speaker 1: go stay at the Virgin Hotels. You like this luck
Speaker 1: on me? Yeah? Yeah? What is this click? You talk
Speaker 1: about skydiving? Yeah? Maybe and that, but yeah, come up
Speaker 1: to Vegas. You're gonna see Anya. You're gonna see Benedict
Speaker 1: uh Pol Easy from f Boy Island who made it
Speaker 1: to the finals. As you saw. He's gonna be hilarious.
Speaker 1: And then you'll see me. And it really is my
Speaker 1: last performance with this voice. And God only knows what's
Speaker 1: gonna happen in the surgery. This could be my last
Speaker 1: performance forever. You don't know, Um, but it will be
Speaker 1: my last performance before a very groundbreaking event in my life.
Speaker 1: And I think that if I were a fan of
Speaker 1: an artist, I would want to see this performance if
Speaker 1: it was in their career. Of like, how, um, my
Speaker 1: life is going to be very like before the surgery
Speaker 1: and after the surgery. Um. I almost I hate to
Speaker 1: compare myself to the trans people, but I feel like
Speaker 1: it almost is that big for me because um. And
Speaker 1: also my doctor says that the girls that get the
Speaker 1: surgery always go, I sound like a girl now, and
Speaker 1: they start dressing femininely after they have the surgery, even
Speaker 1: though they don't even want to be like they didn't
Speaker 1: even wanted to wear dresses. They're just like, I'm so
Speaker 1: feminine now. Like my voice always dictated that I'm kind
Speaker 1: like I'm a boy's girl, and I'm like, I'm masculine energy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I get ready for shorter skirts. I mean I'm already
Speaker 1: very feminine on stage. But I think it's um if
Speaker 1: you can make it out to Vegas and if you
Speaker 1: have any friends that are going to be in Vegas
Speaker 1: or lived there, I would love for these ticket sales
Speaker 1: to go better than they're going right now. Um. I
Speaker 1: think last night checked H was at thirty seven percent.
Speaker 1: That was a couple of weeks ago. I got to
Speaker 1: see NICKI do comedy this weekend, which is rare right
Speaker 1: now for me, and I loved it so much. People
Speaker 1: need to go check out so much new stuff, so
Speaker 1: much funny. Stuffed me so much. I mean I even
Speaker 1: wrote on the way because we went to Damon's and
Speaker 1: then we went right to the Funny Bone, the other
Speaker 1: Funny Bone in Westport. Your brother, Yeah, your brother, um
Speaker 1: vocal rust and also disinterested. Um. But your brother was
Speaker 1: the opening act of the feature act for Michael Malone,
Speaker 1: who I talked about earlier, and I did a guest
Speaker 1: set after Tim. Tim brought me up and man, I
Speaker 1: had so much fun on stage in a way that
Speaker 1: I haven't before. So come see me in Vegas. Is
Speaker 1: going to be such a meaningful show to me. Of course,
Speaker 1: there will be meet and greets afterwards, and as always,
Speaker 1: if you can't afford a meet and greet, you can
Speaker 1: buy them at the merch booth. But if you cannot
Speaker 1: afford them, you know your girl's gonna hook you up.
Speaker 1: You just write to me and say just like all
Speaker 1: caps important and then write your name and uh rt Vegas,
Speaker 1: and I'll know to put you down because there's only
Speaker 1: one show, and UM, yeah, just but don't write important
Speaker 1: and then write a new one. Send it all in
Speaker 1: one block, because I'll only see the last block you sent,
Speaker 1: and if you just send me your name, I might
Speaker 1: think you're I might not see it. And if I
Speaker 1: don't get to it, send it again and I will
Speaker 1: give you a free meet and greet for your ticket purchase. So, UM,
Speaker 1: I will send that to people who listen to the
Speaker 1: whole podcast. I made it this far. Thank you for listening.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Chris Convey, thank you Andrew Colin. Noah will
Speaker 1: be here tomorrow Wednesday on the show, UM don't bek
Speaker 1: and check Nicholas