Speaker 1: Hello, how's it going. This is gek Mail. This is
Speaker 1: a segment that I do sometimes on the podcast where
Speaker 1: instead of talking to callers on the phone, I just
Speaker 1: read emails. And I am currently coming at you from
Speaker 1: a windowless hotel room in Tijuana, Mexico. I just finished
Speaker 1: I'm down here filming a video. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you guys saw I made this video a month ago
Speaker 1: or I guess. I filmed it back in February of
Speaker 1: me walking with my boy Jason, who I met through
Speaker 1: this podcast through Japan, and I talked about depression, I
Speaker 1: talked about having an existential crisis, a lot of that stuff,
Speaker 1: and I really enjoyed that format of video. So I
Speaker 1: am currently down here in Tijuana filming with someone else
Speaker 1: who I met through this podcast, and we're making a
Speaker 1: video together and that's exciting to me. And so yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel great. I feel revitalized. I feel I've been
Speaker 1: trying to find a way to kind of like evolve
Speaker 1: the show in some way because it's been it's been like,
Speaker 1: you know, five years now that I've been being a
Speaker 1: Gecko and doing this podcast, and I really like this format.
Speaker 1: So I'm excited for you guys to see this video
Speaker 1: that I'm gonna make. I just shot it and we're
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna take some time to edit it. But anyway, whatever,
Speaker 1: that's what's going on with me. That's what's going on
Speaker 1: with me as far as this podcast episode goes. It's
Speaker 1: gonna be me reading viewer mail. I made an Instagram
Speaker 1: story yesterday asking people to say me mail with whatever,
Speaker 1: and so I'm gonna now read some of that viewer
Speaker 1: mail for the next hour, perhaps even more, And hopefully
Speaker 1: this provides you with some form of distraction as you
Speaker 1: either fold laundry or drive a car, or do any
Speaker 1: other things that you would do, or maybe you just
Speaker 1: maybe I don't know how you do podcasts. Maybe you don't.
Speaker 1: Maybe you just sit in a chair and listen to
Speaker 1: your podcast without doing a second thing. But whatever it
Speaker 1: is that you're doing while you're doing this, I hope
Speaker 1: that this is a good this works for you as
Speaker 1: a second thing to be doing. Okay, all right, let's
Speaker 1: just start reading emails here, all right. First email, This
Speaker 1: is from Joel. Subject line thoughts on your GTA six
Speaker 1: existential dread rant from Joel. Hello, Lyle Joel. Here, he
Speaker 1: wrote his full name by the way he wrote Joel,
Speaker 1: and then his last name. But and he wrote, he
Speaker 1: gave me his first and last name in both the
Speaker 1: subject line and in the email itself. But I don't
Speaker 1: think I'm gonna read it aloud, because there's no reason
Speaker 1: to do that. Okay, all right, Joel here, I just
Speaker 1: finished listening to your Gecko Male episode where you mentioned
Speaker 1: how excited you are for Grand Theft Auto six this
Speaker 1: is true, and how you were in middle school when
Speaker 1: the trailer for GTA five came out. I think it's
Speaker 1: really interesting to reflect on those points in our lives
Speaker 1: when we're super excited for something versus how we actually
Speaker 1: feel once it finally happens. If I could go back
Speaker 1: to my twelve year old self playing San Andreas and
Speaker 1: show him all the amazing things you could do in
Speaker 1: GTA five, how great it looks, all the crazy stuff
Speaker 1: you can pull off, he'd be blown away. But now
Speaker 1: that I am in my late twenties or thirties, Now
Speaker 1: that I'm in my late twenties or thirties, okay, all right,
Speaker 1: that makes sense. Now that I'm in my late twenties,
Speaker 1: I barely care. Hmm. It's like, look, how cool this is?
Speaker 1: And yet you just don't feel it anymore. Hopefully that
Speaker 1: doesn't happen to you a year from now when GCA
Speaker 1: six comes out. Sorry to be a bit of a bummer,
Speaker 1: but I guess that's just how life is sometimes. Huh.
Speaker 1: Just a few thoughts from me, Joel. And then he
Speaker 1: wrote again his first and last name, and then he writes, PS,
Speaker 1: please keep my name anonymous. Why would you write your
Speaker 1: first and last name? Here's the thing. I get it.
Speaker 1: If you send an email and you just Google just
Speaker 1: has your first and last name in the in the
Speaker 1: fucking thing, but you wrote your first and last We're
Speaker 1: keeping Joel. Joel's anonymous enough, I think, But why would
Speaker 1: you write your first and last name in this in
Speaker 1: this subject line, and then twice in the body of
Speaker 1: the email if you wanted to be anonymous. Sorry, I
Speaker 1: don't know why I'm coming at you, Joel. I don't
Speaker 1: mean to come at you. I'm bummed that you don't care.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm bummed that you don't care. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know what your life is is like. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's not that big of a deal. If you don't care,
Speaker 1: it's fine. I have games like that. By the way
Speaker 1: I used to be. I I remember I used to
Speaker 1: I was really obsessed with Kingdom Hearts when I was
Speaker 1: a boy, when I was at twelve and I I
Speaker 1: was so, so so excited for Kingdom Hearts three. And
Speaker 1: then it didn't come out for like seven years or
Speaker 1: eight years or I don't even know. And I by
Speaker 1: the time it came out, I didn't give a shit
Speaker 1: at all. And there's been there's been stuff like that
Speaker 1: where I just didn't care. But this I care. I
Speaker 1: care about grand theft auto. I'm actually while actually while
Speaker 1: I'm like on planes and shit in Tijuana. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: just in a window. I'm just in a hotel room.
Speaker 1: I did. We did a bunch of fun stuff to
Speaker 1: film the video, but after that, I just kind of
Speaker 1: sat in the hotel room playing San Andreas the Definitive
Speaker 1: Edition on my switch and that's been pretty great. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think that I actually don't think. I know
Speaker 1: that you're saying this is a bummer, but I don't
Speaker 1: think that this is that much of a bummer. You know,
Speaker 1: it makes sense right when you're a kid, because I remember, yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember being when I was a kid, video games
Speaker 1: were all I cared about. They were the scope of
Speaker 1: my life, you know. I was like, yeah, I was
Speaker 1: twelve years old and my my the main narrative of
Speaker 1: my existence was I'm so excited for for like Portal
Speaker 1: two and Super Smash Brothers Brawl. And then you get
Speaker 1: older and your life expands. It's a good thing. It's
Speaker 1: a good thing. I really care. I'm really excited. I
Speaker 1: really care about Grand Theft Auto six. But you know,
Speaker 1: you get older and you want you want You're like, oh,
Speaker 1: grand Theft, thought was six is cool, But it would
Speaker 1: also be nice to have a wife and kids, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, or to have a career. You know,
Speaker 1: that's good. It's good. It's good. I think it's I
Speaker 1: enjoy that I still care about video games, like they're
Speaker 1: a fun hobby. But I think if if all, if
Speaker 1: if all I cared about in my late twenties or
Speaker 1: thirties was video games, I think that would be more
Speaker 1: of a bummer, you know what I mean. Like, it's
Speaker 1: good to care about other stuff. It's like, look, how
Speaker 1: cool it's what is he saying all the greatest stuff?
Speaker 1: I don't know if Joel, I don't know, Joel, don't
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't take this as depressing. I
Speaker 1: don't take this as depressing. I think it's natural to
Speaker 1: care about stuff aside from just video games. But dude,
Speaker 1: I was thinking when I was playing, because I'm playing
Speaker 1: San Andres right now, and I'm like, damn, this looks
Speaker 1: like total shit compared to even Grantraft Little four. I
Speaker 1: don't know why I've turned I don't know why I've
Speaker 1: turned this into like IGN presents therapy, getto But I
Speaker 1: do like video games, all right. This one comes from Vinnie,
Speaker 1: subject line do ayahuasca. He says, if you feel it's
Speaker 1: calling you, trust your intentions. We are all God. Consciousness
Speaker 1: is God. Death is incredibly easy. Living life is difficult,
Speaker 1: but that's what makes it special. We're here to leave
Speaker 1: our impact better than we found it so we can
Speaker 1: upgrade in our next life. You've already done so much
Speaker 1: positively impactful that I hope you're being a friend to yourself.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Vinnie. That's really nice of you to say,
Speaker 1: And based on how fortunate you are in this life,
Speaker 1: it's very likely your previous life followed this advice. Be well, Vinnie,
Speaker 1: Thank you man. This was a sweet email. This is
Speaker 1: really nice. I don't want to do ayahuasca. I used
Speaker 1: to think I wanted to do ayahuasca, and now I don't.
Speaker 1: And here's why it is, because, well, yeah, I've been
Speaker 1: talking about a lot on the podcast about like existential bullshit,
Speaker 1: and I feel like, let's see, it's June. For basically
Speaker 1: all of February, March, April, and half of May, so
Speaker 1: about three and a half months. My con is constant
Speaker 1: existential thoughts. And I was thinking a lot about this
Speaker 1: shit about like we are all God and consciousness of
Speaker 1: God and all that stuff. And it's in a lot
Speaker 1: of that when like thinking about death and shit, A
Speaker 1: lot of that was scary. But the past few weeks
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about it. I'm still thinking about it, but
Speaker 1: not from like a I'm scared of it, from like
Speaker 1: a like it's interesting to think about place. But I
Speaker 1: don't want to do ayahuasca. Man, there's no I I
Speaker 1: I feel like, you gotta you gotta keep you gotta
Speaker 1: keep one foot on the earth. You know, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, You really got to keep one foot
Speaker 1: on the earth or else you're going to just go
Speaker 1: fucking completely insane. I get you, though, on the whole
Speaker 1: we are all God conscious death is easy. Living life
Speaker 1: is difficult. That is true. Death is easier than life.
Speaker 1: You don't have to do anything if you're dead. You
Speaker 1: don't have to you don't have to go to work,
Speaker 1: you don't have to talk to anyone, you don't have
Speaker 1: to go grocery shopping. It's true. I was I was
Speaker 1: thinking about this. Forgive me if I've talked about this
Speaker 1: on the podcast before, but I was on when I
Speaker 1: was depressed, and I was on Wikipedia one night, and I, God,
Speaker 1: I feel like I've told the story before. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna do it anyway. I was depressed. I was on Wikipedia,
Speaker 1: and I was on a Wikipedia page for this movement
Speaker 1: called anti natalism that was like like a like a
Speaker 1: philosophical idea that it is that it is unethical to
Speaker 1: have children because you're bringing consciousness into existence without its permission,
Speaker 1: and then like consciousness is suffering and shit. And while
Speaker 1: I was depressed, I was reading that and I was like,
Speaker 1: that's true, dude, consciousness is consciousness is is depressing. And
Speaker 1: then but that's a that's a that's it. That's it's
Speaker 1: some shit you have when you're depressed, you know. I
Speaker 1: was walking around, uh, in in Tijuana a little bit
Speaker 1: yesterday and I was just I just watched these two people.
Speaker 1: They must have been, like I don't know, they were young.
Speaker 1: They must have been like twenty or something. There's just
Speaker 1: this couple. They were just holding hands and one had
Speaker 1: like a drink in the like I had like a
Speaker 1: fucking like a tear or something. And I was like,
Speaker 1: this is that. I was like, this is nice, This
Speaker 1: is good. This is life is fine. Life is fine.
Speaker 1: Life is good. You expek bring you know, you bring
Speaker 1: a kid into the world, and uh yeah, sure there's
Speaker 1: plenty of ship to be uh depressed about. But you know,
Speaker 1: hopefully one day you have a kid and they get
Speaker 1: to drink some tea and hold a lady's hand and
Speaker 1: walk down the street, and you know, it's pretty good.
Speaker 1: That's worth it. That's worth it. So I don't know
Speaker 1: what was I what was the point of this rant
Speaker 1: that I'm going on right now. But yeah, it's true,
Speaker 1: death is easy, but but you should do it. You
Speaker 1: should do life. You should do it. You should do life.
Speaker 1: You should opt out. I don't. I don't. Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I've thought I again the past three months, going insane.
Speaker 1: I was like I was like, I want to opt out.
Speaker 1: I want to you know, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: You know when I opt out, opt in, give it
Speaker 1: a shot. You know. This is all I'm I'm I
Speaker 1: drank too much coffee. This is all pointless rambling. But
Speaker 1: this is I'm just speaking of my own thoughts. But
Speaker 1: I don't want to do ayahuasca because I don't want
Speaker 1: to be too I don't want to be too connected
Speaker 1: to the universe in like crazy psychedelic ways. You can
Speaker 1: be connected to the universe by going on a by
Speaker 1: by drinking a glass of water and walking down the street,
Speaker 1: you know, cod I don't want to. I don't want
Speaker 1: to be too conscious. I don't want to get up
Speaker 1: to some crazy level of whatever, whatever crazy level of
Speaker 1: consciousness that ayahuasca is supposed to give you. I don't
Speaker 1: want that. That sounds that sounds burdensome. I enjoy, uh,
Speaker 1: I even enjoy being pissed off now that truly, like
Speaker 1: after having a I've been thinking about, like after having
Speaker 1: like a weird existential crisis, I actually enjoy now because
Speaker 1: like the total opposite of consciousness is like, uh, when
Speaker 1: you're like pissed off about something stupid, you know, what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like, like if you're like, if you're at
Speaker 1: a restaurant and you order coke and they only have
Speaker 1: pepsi and you're like pissed off about it, You're doing
Speaker 1: so great, you know what I mean. You're you're so
Speaker 1: deeply connected to reality. Every time I find myself like
Speaker 1: like I'm driving whatever, If I'm driving a car and
Speaker 1: someone like uh cuts me off or something, and I'm
Speaker 1: like pissed off, I'm like, oh shit, I'm that was
Speaker 1: That's so oh crap, this is a background noise. Who cares?
Speaker 1: All right, there's so what was I saying anything. I'm like,
Speaker 1: every time I get pissed off about something stupid, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is great. I missed this. I missed that. You're
Speaker 1: so you're connected to reality in that moment that you're
Speaker 1: just pissed off that someone cut you off in traffic.
Speaker 1: You know. Okay, all right, let's keep going. I don't
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about. Here we go, all right?
Speaker 1: This is from Subha subject line love is the point
Speaker 1: of living? Right? What if I never love? Hello, my
Speaker 1: dear friend Lyle. Ever since I can remember, I've thought
Speaker 1: love was the whole point of life. Whenever I went
Speaker 1: through a tough time, I would think, once I find
Speaker 1: someone who truly loves me, all of this will be
Speaker 1: worth it. And it's not like I thought highly of
Speaker 1: myself or even felt like I deserved love. I was
Speaker 1: a brown girl growing up in the South and Midwest
Speaker 1: who couldn't understand how other girls could dream about their
Speaker 1: wedding day, because how were they so sure someone would
Speaker 1: ever love them enough to marry them. Hold on one second, Brandon,
Speaker 1: I'm seeing if I I think my external microphone is
Speaker 1: connected to this thing. Okay, it looks like it did.
Speaker 1: Hold me, I'm gonna check real quick. Okay, hold on, Bradon,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make it another Wait. Actually, I don't even
Speaker 1: need do I need to do that? Okay, hold I'm
Speaker 1: gonna make it. I'm gonna start a new recording. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, all right, let's hear into this. But through
Speaker 1: times full of suicidal ideations, academic failures, and difficult familiar relationships,
Speaker 1: I would dream of a love that would make it
Speaker 1: all worth it. My first real love was complicated and
Speaker 1: tense and honestly traumatic, and feeling that love did not
Speaker 1: make me feel any more lovable, which was odd to me.
Speaker 1: I'm still heavily emotionally attached to this person, but I
Speaker 1: know I will get over them with time. It hurts
Speaker 1: right now, but it's not unbearable. I just can't imagine
Speaker 1: myself being in a relationship where I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: actually worth the other person's love and affection. I know
Speaker 1: people say you should love yourself and not seek external
Speaker 1: validation from a significant other, but there's love you can
Speaker 1: feel from another person that will never come from yourself
Speaker 1: and makes you feel whole. Imagine someone deciding to live
Speaker 1: with you through all your mundane moments. That's beautiful. How
Speaker 1: do I get over feeling unlovable? The self racism and
Speaker 1: learned feelings of hatred toward myself is so hard to undo.
Speaker 1: Sorry for being so negative. Appreciate your work and I
Speaker 1: hope you know your loved and listeners, I hope you
Speaker 1: know your loved as well, And give me a second
Speaker 1: to think about this, because I'm actually gonna try. I'm
Speaker 1: really going to try to like pull from like a
Speaker 1: little bit of my own experiences or thoughts with this shit,
Speaker 1: because I have Okay, so in my I think I
Speaker 1: think back like a lot on like my my in
Speaker 1: my personal life, right I go through I've always gone
Speaker 1: through I think like cycles. Well, like, I've had so
Speaker 1: many cycles in my life where I'm just like, the
Speaker 1: only fucking thing that I care about is finding a girlfriend.
Speaker 1: It's like finding like all like you write everything you're saying, right,
Speaker 1: like finding love, finding someone to have it like your
Speaker 1: mandane moments with and I've gone through. I've got it's
Speaker 1: it's for for me personally, it's been very cyclical where
Speaker 1: I'm like, I need to find another person to complete me.
Speaker 1: And and when I am in that cycle, you cannot
Speaker 1: convince me otherwise. You know. I've been in cycles where
Speaker 1: I'm like, there is no like you're fucking saying, there
Speaker 1: is no external there is no like thing that can
Speaker 1: come from me that will match the peace, uh and
Speaker 1: the serenity of like of like love, in of like
Speaker 1: romantic love. I mean that's why, I mean, that's why
Speaker 1: every fucking song on the planet Earth was written about
Speaker 1: this ship, you know, and I think it would be
Speaker 1: and I don't know. By the way, just so you know,
Speaker 1: I don't have advice on this, but this is just
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna ponder it. I don't have advice This
Speaker 1: is not advice. This is just you bring you bring
Speaker 1: up in interesting life conundrum and I'm thinking about my
Speaker 1: personal experience and I'm pondering it with you right now.
Speaker 1: So I don't have advice. But this is just my ponders,
Speaker 1: you know how fun? What was I saying? Cycles? Yes,
Speaker 1: I've been thereugh cycles, And then I've also emerged from
Speaker 1: those cycles feeling the opposite way, where I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm just gonna truly enjoy life. And
Speaker 1: this is this is this is again, this is coming
Speaker 1: from a I have genuinely felt, well on, I have
Speaker 1: to sneeze. I have to sneeze. Let's keep this in.
Speaker 1: This is important. Fuck hold on, fuck okay, all right,
Speaker 1: we're keeping that in. What is it that I have
Speaker 1: gone through cycles in my life where I genuinely felt
Speaker 1: unconvinced you could not convince me otherwise that life was
Speaker 1: worth living if you didn't have a significant other, you know,
Speaker 1: And then I've I don't know how, but I've just just,
Speaker 1: through time or whatever, just emerged from that into a
Speaker 1: mode of existing where I'm like, you know, that would
Speaker 1: be cool. It is undeniably a unique feeling and a
Speaker 1: powerful feeling and a you know, important part of life.
Speaker 1: Like you can't deny that, yes, no, because it bothers you, right,
Speaker 1: bothers you when people are like, oh, you should love
Speaker 1: yourself and this and that and the other thing. Because
Speaker 1: when you're like in this email, when you're like, there's
Speaker 1: nothing that compares to that, it's true. You're right that
Speaker 1: there is that that kind of love and that kind
Speaker 1: of thing. That's a that's a one of one experience,
Speaker 1: undeniably so undeniably. So I think I think it's a
Speaker 1: I think it's a lie to tell people that it's not.
Speaker 1: But that doesn't mean that if you don't have it
Speaker 1: right fucking now, that your life has to be ship,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And also, and you've probably
Speaker 1: I'm sure you've been told this a billion times, whoever
Speaker 1: wrote this email. It's paradoxical, right, because the more you
Speaker 1: chase after it, the more people can people can smell desperation.
Speaker 1: The more you you chase after that, the more that
Speaker 1: it eludes you. That's a classic. It's a total classic.
Speaker 1: And then you get into this uh contradictory state of
Speaker 1: being where you want something so badly and everyone's telling
Speaker 1: you that the only way to get this thing that
Speaker 1: you want is to not want it, and then you
Speaker 1: don't want it, and then it's easy. It's it's it's
Speaker 1: a difficult thing to manage. Although I again, thinking back,
Speaker 1: I'm just just from my own life when I've been
Speaker 1: in the cycle of like, oh, all all that matters
Speaker 1: in life is having a is having a girlfriend and
Speaker 1: having this kind of love I have, Like I keep
Speaker 1: I keep a journal. I keep a journal of like
Speaker 1: my thoughts and feelings and stuff. And I've I look
Speaker 1: back at some journals that I've written from those periods
Speaker 1: of time where I was in that cycle where I
Speaker 1: thought that that was all that mattered, and I was
Speaker 1: and I was reading thoughts that I had during those cycles,
Speaker 1: and I was like and I was like, this, fuck it.
Speaker 1: Hold on my second, there's there's some background noise. We
Speaker 1: can keep this, we can keep this in. Yeah, I forgot.
Speaker 1: I was in a hotel. Am I'm probably screaming. I
Speaker 1: don't think there's any I don't know if there's that
Speaker 1: many other people staying at this hotel, So maybe it's okay.
Speaker 1: It's also in the middle of the day, but I
Speaker 1: guess that doesn't make it Okay, I don't think I'm screaming.
Speaker 1: I'm talking loudly. Maybe I'm screaming a little bit. Was
Speaker 1: I gonna say, Oh, yes, Okay. So I keep a
Speaker 1: journal and I've written, I've read, I've reread like journal
Speaker 1: entries that I've made from that time, and I've been
Speaker 1: like this, and I've been like, this guy is not
Speaker 1: healthy enough to even be in what he wants. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I'm like you, I'm I'm really
Speaker 1: like I've been in again, like healthier states of mind
Speaker 1: where I'm not in the in the state of mind
Speaker 1: where I'm like, oh, this is all that matters, and
Speaker 1: I'm kind of like I just like life. I'm just
Speaker 1: feeling peaceful and happy on my own. And when I'm
Speaker 1: in that state, I'll read journal entries that I wrote
Speaker 1: when I wasn't in that state, when I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, obsessed with finding a relationship, and I'll be like, dude,
Speaker 1: this is this is and I'm like it's and it'll
Speaker 1: I'll just see so clearly that what everyone says about
Speaker 1: how you need to not want it for it to
Speaker 1: come to you or for you to even be you know,
Speaker 1: truly eligible for it. It's true. This is true. So
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do with that information. I
Speaker 1: don't know what kind of advice is to be gleaned
Speaker 1: from that observation. But yeah, how do you get out
Speaker 1: of that cycle and into more of the cycle of like, oh,
Speaker 1: I really genuinely feel peaceful on my own and also
Speaker 1: the whole like I feel like it's a thing of like,
Speaker 1: you know what, feeling peaceful on your own, and then
Speaker 1: still you still have to make an effort. You know,
Speaker 1: you still got to, like fucking you know, go on
Speaker 1: the dating apps or or go out to things and
Speaker 1: talk to people. But if you do it from a
Speaker 1: healthy place where you are, where you genuine you're not
Speaker 1: not bullshitting yourself, because we all can bullshit ourselves and
Speaker 1: be like, I don't care what happens. I don't care
Speaker 1: what happens to this day. I don't care if this
Speaker 1: date goes well. But you're kind of lying to your
Speaker 1: brain a little bit. You kind of do hope it
Speaker 1: goes well when when you feel like you're at a
Speaker 1: mental point where you're like, I genuinely am okay with
Speaker 1: however this turns out, I'm genuinely doing shit just to
Speaker 1: meet people. That kind of is when I think things
Speaker 1: pop into place a little bit more, or even if
Speaker 1: it's not when things like pop into place a little
Speaker 1: bit more, it's at least when things are like, you know,
Speaker 1: healthy enough such that if they do, it's not crazy,
Speaker 1: you know. I don't know if this rant makes any sense,
Speaker 1: but I just I feel I've been I know what
Speaker 1: this feels like, and I've been in cycles of feeling it,
Speaker 1: in cycles of not and these are just kind of
Speaker 1: my observations from the cycles. So whatever, Okay, So what
Speaker 1: does it actually send this email? How do I get
Speaker 1: over feeling unlovable? Uh? How do you get over feeling
Speaker 1: on loveable? I mean? Building self esteem? How does one
Speaker 1: build self esteem? Again, I don't know if I have advice.
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking about my own life and times when
Speaker 1: I've had self esteem and times when I haven't self esteem.
Speaker 1: And again, for me, self esteem has been very it
Speaker 1: has been a very cyclical thing at times in my
Speaker 1: life where I've had a lot of self esteem and
Speaker 1: the times in my life where I have had very
Speaker 1: very very very low self esteem. And I've and I've
Speaker 1: been in one cycle and when I when I'm in
Speaker 1: the cycle. I'm like, I don't recognize it as a cycle.
Speaker 1: I recognize it as, oh, this is forever, you know.
Speaker 1: But looking back, I'm like, what what? What? What moves
Speaker 1: me from one part of the cycle to another. I
Speaker 1: wish I had an answer to that, but I don't.
Speaker 1: In this very moment, I don't have a better answer
Speaker 1: to that other than medication and achieving things. Achieving things
Speaker 1: is good, but I guess it's achieving the right kind
Speaker 1: of things. Like feel like things that make you feel competent,
Speaker 1: you know, I feel anytime I feel like when I
Speaker 1: feel as though I am providing evidence to myself through
Speaker 1: competent actions that I am getting smarter, or I am
Speaker 1: like being more confident being being more competent, I feel
Speaker 1: more confident. Like you need you need to provide yourself
Speaker 1: with data. You need to like provide yourself with data,
Speaker 1: you know. I don't think you can like meditate yourself
Speaker 1: into self esteem, although maybe you can. I don't. I'm
Speaker 1: just I'm just speaking from my own personal experience. Maybe
Speaker 1: you can meditate yourself into self esteem? You can't. Yeah
Speaker 1: you can, I think you I think you can. I
Speaker 1: think you can. I think you can. For some people,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know. Everyone's fucking different. Some people
Speaker 1: need like, uh like empirical external evidence for themselves that
Speaker 1: they are a competent, worthy human being. And I'm definitely
Speaker 1: a little at least at least fifty percent of a
Speaker 1: person like that. And then the other fifty percent is
Speaker 1: you meditate yourself into being like I. I the fact
Speaker 1: that I exist as a human being gives me inherent value.
Speaker 1: Again for me, it's a yin yang thing. Those things
Speaker 1: work together. But yeah, I hope this was I hope
Speaker 1: this rant made sense. This. I like this email. This
Speaker 1: gave me a lot to kind of think about. But also,
Speaker 1: I don't know how old is this person I'm trying
Speaker 1: to It doesn't really, it doesn't really say in this message. Right,
Speaker 1: there's it because there's another thing of the times of
Speaker 1: academic failures. Okay, I guess you're fairly young, because there's
Speaker 1: another thing of like, yes, being I think being in
Speaker 1: a healthy, loving relationship. No doubt, everyone's different, but I
Speaker 1: think most people would probably say that that's that's better
Speaker 1: than being alone. I think people are kind of probably
Speaker 1: bullshitting if they say it's not, But at least for them,
Speaker 1: I don't know, all this stuff is very personal. But
Speaker 1: just because you can't, just because you recognize that it
Speaker 1: does help make you whole and it is a big
Speaker 1: life thing and you don't have it, that doesn't have
Speaker 1: to make you feel like shit, because you can just
Speaker 1: be like, look, I don't have this right now. It's
Speaker 1: not a part of my life right now, and that's fine,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't You don't have to condemn just because
Speaker 1: it's not part of your life right now. It doesn't
Speaker 1: mean you have to condemn yourself to being unlovable for
Speaker 1: the rest of your life, you know. All right, let's
Speaker 1: keep going. I hope you're doing okay. Oh they signed
Speaker 1: their email Molly. I hope you're doing all right, Molly, okay,
Speaker 1: all right. This is from uh Brianna. Subject line am
Speaker 1: I crazy. Ooh it's an exciting subject line. Hi gek,
Speaker 1: you can give me a name. So to make a
Speaker 1: long story short, I traveled through the US for about
Speaker 1: three months January through April, just exploring and visiting national parks,
Speaker 1: and then I went back to Canada to seek healthcare
Speaker 1: and just ended up staying in Canada and going back
Speaker 1: to the seasonal work I usually do. Due to some circumstances.
Speaker 1: I ended up being depressed for the whole month I
Speaker 1: was back. I decided I wanted to leave, packed my car,
Speaker 1: which is built to live out of, and left. The
Speaker 1: next day, I quit the job I had and headed
Speaker 1: for the border. I tried to enter through Detroit. They
Speaker 1: took me aside, questioned me, took my finger. What the fuck?
Speaker 1: They took your finger? That has to be a typo,
Speaker 1: and searched my car. They sent me back to Canada.
Speaker 1: I entered the next day after showing them a ton
Speaker 1: of paperwork that proves ties to Canada. Kind of a
Speaker 1: crazy experience because Canada and the US have a tourism
Speaker 1: agreement for their citizens. Anyway, I'm crossing the border from
Speaker 1: Montana into Alberta today in search of work somewhere in
Speaker 1: Banef for the summer. This was a pretty impulsive and
Speaker 1: spontaneous decision, but it doesn't make sense to stay somewhere.
Speaker 1: I'm unhappy. I've had so many people ask how I
Speaker 1: can travel and do what I want. There are no
Speaker 1: rules to life. We all have free will and can
Speaker 1: do whatever our hearts desire. I'm not following a conventional lifestyle,
Speaker 1: and I'm not sure I ever will. For context, I'm
Speaker 1: nineteen and graduated a year ago. I crave new experiences
Speaker 1: and adventures. I'm so content being an uneducated hippie. Living
Speaker 1: life to the fullest is what makes you rich, not
Speaker 1: that degree or six figure job. To anyone who wants
Speaker 1: to get out there, just to do it, it's scary
Speaker 1: to take the leap, but regret is scarier. You only
Speaker 1: live once. Brianna. Uh interesting, Okay, Well, I have a
Speaker 1: few thoughts about this, right because I think, no offense
Speaker 1: to Brianna, but I think like going, okay, going like
Speaker 1: full if you like going full send, we all have
Speaker 1: free will, and you know, get out there and whatever.
Speaker 1: Whatever to me is it's a little ignorant in the sense,
Speaker 1: no offense to Brianna. But I'm just gonna I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna speak from myself because I actually I do agree
Speaker 1: with a lot of this ship. But also also it
Speaker 1: also costs money to exist on the earth. And so
Speaker 1: I remember there there's this like viral Instagram post that
Speaker 1: this this lady made. I don't know if you guys
Speaker 1: have seen it, where she's like she's like in a
Speaker 1: on a beach in Thailand and she's like, what is.
Speaker 1: She say she's and she's like panning the camera around
Speaker 1: and she's like, this could be you on a Thursday.
Speaker 1: All you have to do is book a flight. What
Speaker 1: are you doing? You have free will? All you have
Speaker 1: to do is book a flight. And that that that
Speaker 1: clip goes ill because everyone fucking what's the word? What's
Speaker 1: the word? When it's a TikTok, everyone stitches it. Everyone
Speaker 1: stitches it with them being like, you know how the
Speaker 1: flights cost money? You know, it's not you can't just
Speaker 1: you can. There's there's a lot of like okay, saying like, uh,
Speaker 1: get out there, do whatever you want. You have free will.
Speaker 1: Come there is an asterix. There's an asterix on It
Speaker 1: doesn't make it not true, doesn't mean we should throw
Speaker 1: out the whole sentiment. In fact, it's actually I think
Speaker 1: it's a good sentiment, but it does come with an asterix,
Speaker 1: you know. So it's like, I don't know, I'm trying
Speaker 1: to think what I what I actually want to say
Speaker 1: about this. I'm cure I'd like to talk to this
Speaker 1: person because I'm curious, like how do they do it?
Speaker 1: You know? My understanding of this how this person does
Speaker 1: it is okay, Well, Okay, so she so she's I
Speaker 1: think this person is Canadian, right, They're born in Canada,
Speaker 1: so they're free health care. That's pretty cool. And then
Speaker 1: they do seasonal work. So my understanding of how it
Speaker 1: logistically works with this person is she probably spends three
Speaker 1: months doing her seasonal shit and saving and then and
Speaker 1: I don't know how she saves, right, Like there's a
Speaker 1: lot of I like, what's in the asterisk of this
Speaker 1: because I do I think, because usually I think it
Speaker 1: is both. I think it is simultaneously ignorant to be like,
Speaker 1: go out and travel and do whatever you want, as
Speaker 1: well as it being ignorant to say you can't do
Speaker 1: this because of X, Y and Z, Right, Like, there's
Speaker 1: a middle ground where we can go like, Okay, here's
Speaker 1: a logistic way that you can figure out how to
Speaker 1: do this shit, right, And so I'm trying to figure
Speaker 1: out how the logistics work for this person. She probably
Speaker 1: does like some kind of seasonal work and it saves
Speaker 1: up a bunch of money. I don't know if she
Speaker 1: saves the money. I don't know where she sleeps right
Speaker 1: while she's doing the work. I don't know what she
Speaker 1: eats while she's doing the work. Maybe she lives with
Speaker 1: her folks. Maybe she lives with her folks while she's
Speaker 1: in Canada. Maybe she lives with fucking six roommates or
Speaker 1: something like that and just saves up all the money
Speaker 1: and then uses it to travel through the US for
Speaker 1: three months. And then because she's in Canada, she got
Speaker 1: health care. She figured it out, she had, you know,
Speaker 1: she was she You know, you're born, and you get
Speaker 1: certain you have certain nice things that come with your
Speaker 1: life if you're lucky, like you know, being in a
Speaker 1: place that is free healthcare or having parents that can
Speaker 1: let you stay at their place, and you figure it out.
Speaker 1: So I don't know, I get there's there's something in between.
Speaker 1: I don't like this. I don't like the people make
Speaker 1: it like a in either or right, Like the people
Speaker 1: are the people on the one side of the of
Speaker 1: the Instagram thing where that lady is like, hey, just
Speaker 1: book a flight. You know this could be you on
Speaker 1: Thursday in Thailand. Right, It's like there's an asterisk there,
Speaker 1: and then on the other some people stitching at being
Speaker 1: like you cannot do anything because everything is unbearably expensive
Speaker 1: and there's no possible way to do any of this.
Speaker 1: Ship there's an asterisk there too. Right, It's like we
Speaker 1: can get logistical on how to do cool shit. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, I'm curious for how this person
Speaker 1: does it. But yeah, I would reorient I would. I
Speaker 1: would reframe this person's message and I would go I
Speaker 1: agree that living life to the fullest is what makes
Speaker 1: you rich. That's what she said. I agree that there
Speaker 1: there is How would I reframe this? Get out there
Speaker 1: and just do it? Like I guess, I would reframe
Speaker 1: it as like, fully assess whatever your situation is and
Speaker 1: then use whatever resources are at your disposal, i e.
Speaker 1: The Internet, i e. Living with more roommates, i e.
Speaker 1: Whatever whatever it is is man to like figure it out.
Speaker 1: And a lot of this shit, I do think there
Speaker 1: are a lot of people who want to do things
Speaker 1: that they've decided they can't that if they prodded a
Speaker 1: little bit, are are figure outable. But yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on in Canada. That's crazy,
Speaker 1: that's cool. You have free healthcare. All right, let's keep going. Okay,
Speaker 1: This is from Isaac subject line hands free for Life.
Speaker 1: Isaac says, Hello, I was on your show once when
Speaker 1: you had a therapist that wore glasses on. I forgot
Speaker 1: his name. He was cool, though, what is that a
Speaker 1: I think he's talking about doctor Dre, not doctor not
Speaker 1: fucking doctor Dre, doctor Drew. Anyways, I wanted to give
Speaker 1: you an update since I had taken your advice to
Speaker 1: buy a fleshlight. This is what happens when you do
Speaker 1: a podcast for five years. Just somebody says, you get
Speaker 1: an email. You get an email from a guy who's like, hey,
Speaker 1: remember three years ago you told me to buy a
Speaker 1: flash light, And I'm like, I don't remember that, but
Speaker 1: I'm like, what else? What else have I said that
Speaker 1: I don't even fucking remember. Well, good, I'm glad you
Speaker 1: bought the flesh light. I've never tried. I've actually never
Speaker 1: used a real fleshlight. I've used a what I call
Speaker 1: it a maguiver flesh light. It's when you take a
Speaker 1: pringles can. I've talked about this before, I'll do it again.
Speaker 1: So you take a pringles can and a rubber glove
Speaker 1: and two sponges and you use that to do a
Speaker 1: homemade mcgiverd fleshlight. But I've never actually tried the real thing. Okay.
Speaker 1: I wanted to give you an update since I had
Speaker 1: taken your advice to buy a flesh light, and I'm
Speaker 1: doing much better now. I have a lot of wisdom
Speaker 1: for anyone that may be in my position currently. What
Speaker 1: is your position that you have a flashlight? What is
Speaker 1: this email? Bullet points A high Q, A sneeze of
Speaker 1: knowledge if you will be on the shiny Okay, I
Speaker 1: don't think this person understood. I don't think this person
Speaker 1: understood the point of the email. That's okay, who cares?
Speaker 1: Who gives a shit? I hope you. I hope you're
Speaker 1: enjoying your flesh light, Isaac. Good luck, good luck, sir.
Speaker 1: I hope, I hope. Yeah, I hope you're enjoying your flashlight.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Isaac, thank you, thank you for sending me
Speaker 1: this email. All right, this is from Jacob, subject line
Speaker 1: Exchange in Baltimore. Hi, Lyle, hope you're doing well. I'm
Speaker 1: a student from the UK about to do an exchange
Speaker 1: semester at MICA in Baltimore. I know you grew up
Speaker 1: there and was wondering if you had any advice slash
Speaker 1: tips for a living there for four months and if
Speaker 1: you have any favorite spots to check out I'd love
Speaker 1: to hear thanks and have a lovely day. All right.
Speaker 1: Who's ready for the Who's ready for the to get
Speaker 1: to get super niche here? Who's ready to learn about
Speaker 1: the great city of Baltimore and Maryland. Uh, Mike is sick.
Speaker 1: You have a great time. Mike is a cool place.
Speaker 1: I've never been there, but I I when you drive
Speaker 1: into Baltimore, you like see the outside of it, and
Speaker 1: it's the cool. It's like a cool, artsy place. You're
Speaker 1: definitely gonna yeah. Oh and you're also I don't know
Speaker 1: something about like being at like Micah and you have
Speaker 1: like a British accent. Yeah, everyone's gonna love you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're gonna you're gonna have a great time. Go to
Speaker 1: go to go to some fucking crusty punk shows in basements.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's so. I don't know much
Speaker 1: about like the Baltimore scene, but I know that there
Speaker 1: are there's a lot of like, uh, punk shows at
Speaker 1: bars for like ten bucks and shit like that. Go
Speaker 1: check that shut out. Uh. There's a museum I love
Speaker 1: in Baltimore, shout out to the American Visionary Art Museum.
Speaker 1: It's it's a lot of like uh, crazy art from
Speaker 1: sort of like fringe artists who who who weren't like
Speaker 1: famous or anything. They're just like living on the street
Speaker 1: and ship. Check that out. Anything else is Baltimore, I
Speaker 1: don't know. It's a cool place. Yeah, go go go
Speaker 1: go to some I'm gonna go to some of those
Speaker 1: house shows if that's if that still exists. Okay, all right.
Speaker 1: This is from a bridgid subject line A weed farm
Speaker 1: and a dream. Hello, Lyle, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: opening up your email line to us writers. I'm also
Speaker 1: a speaker, but have never been lucky enough to be
Speaker 1: connected to you. During one of my many calls into
Speaker 1: the show, I writer in. I don't know why this.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I'm getting tripped up by this,
Speaker 1: but thank you. Okay. I've been listening to the show
Speaker 1: since twenty twenty one, and the situation I was in
Speaker 1: when I started tuning in was quite unique. In November
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one, I was twenty three. I just dropped
Speaker 1: everything in Massachusetts to live for three months on a
Speaker 1: weed farm in Trinity, California, Trinity County, California. I was
Speaker 1: low key scammed into going by a friend of a
Speaker 1: friend that claimed I would make ten thousand dollars in
Speaker 1: five weeks from trimming cannabis. You don't get out. Here's
Speaker 1: here's the thing. Don't feel bad about you don't get
Speaker 1: You don't get out of life for free, especially if
Speaker 1: you're like if you're a schemer, and I myself when
Speaker 1: I was, when I was young and still today a
Speaker 1: big schemer, where I'm like, how do I how do
Speaker 1: I how do I fucking like know, uh not have
Speaker 1: to work a real job? You know, when you're when
Speaker 1: you're tinkering around, you get, you get ski you get
Speaker 1: when you're when you're in big like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm going to have to work a real job. And
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that. You start scheming, you're
Speaker 1: you get, you get scammed, You get scammed into shit
Speaker 1: like this. So there was no there was no shame
Speaker 1: in that. The unfortunate reality is I definitely lost more
Speaker 1: money than I made. I probably spent upwards of six
Speaker 1: thousand dollars living in San Francisco for three weeks and
Speaker 1: doing my coast to coast road trip. When all was
Speaker 1: said and done at the farm, I made around five
Speaker 1: thousand dollars between trimming and annual work and hourly work.
Speaker 1: I don't regret it, but I also wouldn't recommend it
Speaker 1: to anyone personally. I was really lucky to have a
Speaker 1: solid support system in this endeavor that I could go
Speaker 1: back to my apartment in Massachusetts when the season was over,
Speaker 1: and therapy Gecko was most of what I listened to
Speaker 1: while trimming. It brought us smile to my face, my
Speaker 1: face when all I was looking at or white walls
Speaker 1: and massive amounts of wee for ten to twelve hours
Speaker 1: a day. Uh. Pros of living on a weed farm
Speaker 1: unlimited weed. Air is fresh and beautiful. Cons of living
Speaker 1: on a weed farm unlimited weed definitely isolating. Gotta sleep
Speaker 1: in your car, the sink bucket, no days off, twelve
Speaker 1: hour days, and did I mention isolating? I love you, Lyle,
Speaker 1: thanks so much for your attention and care best Bridget,
Speaker 1: Thank you, Bridget. It's very sweet of you to say, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: look here's the thing we've all again. Like I was
Speaker 1: just saying, when you're when you're when you're trying to
Speaker 1: not when your options are like all right, cool, I
Speaker 1: could go work at some fucking thing and make some
Speaker 1: fucking whatever, you know, and then your friend is like, Hey,
Speaker 1: you can make ten dollars in five weeks trimming cannabis.
Speaker 1: Of course you're gonna be like, that sounds right. Of course,
Speaker 1: why would you not be like, why would you question that?
Speaker 1: Sometimes you don't want to ask questions because you just
Speaker 1: want it to be real. So of course you're gonna
Speaker 1: go and do that. So, yeah, you're not getting out
Speaker 1: of if you're if you're a schemer, if you're if
Speaker 1: you're scheming around trying to figure out how to not
Speaker 1: have to fucking be a real human being, you're you're
Speaker 1: gonna get nicked every now and then by by somebody
Speaker 1: else who's who's scheming. So you know, charge it to
Speaker 1: the game, as they say, Uh okay. This is from Nicholas. Hello, Lyle,
Speaker 1: my name is Nick. I recently turned nineteen. I've noticed
Speaker 1: how your mood during your recent podcast episodes have has
Speaker 1: seemingly fluctuated from being depressed to perhaps being more content
Speaker 1: with being depressed. As you've said many times, you've been
Speaker 1: thinking of life very deeply and existentially as of recent
Speaker 1: which I very much relate to a strong sense of
Speaker 1: introspection and existentialism in these past few weeks. Typically this
Speaker 1: is accompanied by a strong negative feeling, But this time
Speaker 1: I feel more content with it. I don't know how
Speaker 1: to feel about that. I guess I feel good that
Speaker 1: I'm starting to accept that life is what it is,
Speaker 1: that most of it simply consists of grueling obstacles to overcome.
Speaker 1: You've impacted me so much mentally over the past four
Speaker 1: years with how honest and expressive you've been about how
Speaker 1: you've been feeling and what you believe. It's really inspiring
Speaker 1: and it's made me gain a more realistic and understanding
Speaker 1: mindset that I quite enjoyed. Thank you, Nicholas. I like
Speaker 1: how the YouTube video you. I liked the YouTube video
Speaker 1: you posted the other day about your crisis in Japan.
Speaker 1: You should do more of those. That's why I am
Speaker 1: in a windowless room in Tijuana. Here's a Minecraft building
Speaker 1: of you. Oh shit, that's awesome. Look at that. Look
Speaker 1: at that. Okay you're not gonna be able to see
Speaker 1: this in the audio version, but for the video folks,
Speaker 1: check that shit out. That's pretty cool. Okay. Where what
Speaker 1: was I gonna say about this person? Bro? You're nineteen. Man,
Speaker 1: You've started to accept that life is what it is,
Speaker 1: that it simply consists of grueling obstacles to overcome. Oh fuck,
Speaker 1: I want to go on a motivational ramp, but I
Speaker 1: also don't because I don't know this person's life. I
Speaker 1: don't know what. I don't know what. I don't know
Speaker 1: what ignorance will will be woven into my my fucking
Speaker 1: stupid rant. But I don't know. Man, I hope you
Speaker 1: fucking I hope you open your mind to the potential
Speaker 1: that life is more than just grueling obstacles to overcome
Speaker 1: or or I don't know. I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: it's already just then I'm like, is that ignorant? My
Speaker 1: being ignorant? I don't know. I hope your life gets better.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Is this I don't know. You sent
Speaker 1: me a fucking giant Minecraft gecko. That's life. You know
Speaker 1: this is really good? Actually, I'm like, actually looking at
Speaker 1: this sometimes life is playing Minecraft's That's good, right, God
Speaker 1: damn keep chucking Nicholas. Okay, this is from Brennan. Hey, Lyle,
Speaker 1: thanks for being the voice that keeps me company on
Speaker 1: my commute. You had a soothing presence to stressful workdays.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I wanted to know if you ever tried
Speaker 1: going to Nintendo themed groups to find friends or more
Speaker 1: than friends parentheses, if you know what I mean, and
Speaker 1: if there are such groups near you. Also, what is
Speaker 1: your favorite food slash snack when you're high? Oh crap,
Speaker 1: I don't know if that okay? All right? I hope
Speaker 1: to visit New York again soon and I'll be on
Speaker 1: the lookout for Gecko man Farewell Gek Nintendo themed groups.
Speaker 1: I have never I don't know if. I don't know
Speaker 1: if that exists. I don't know if that exists. Wait, actually,
Speaker 1: hold on, I'm a total idiot. I go to Nintendo groups.
Speaker 1: I wait, I'm actually a total idiot. I actually go
Speaker 1: to Nintendo themed groups all the time because I play
Speaker 1: competitive Super Smash Bros. Melee, which is a Nintendo It's
Speaker 1: so funny. I was looking at your email, like what
Speaker 1: the fuck is a Nintendo themed group, and then now
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that's been a part of my life
Speaker 1: for like eleven years. Now go into fucking smash tournaments. Yeah, bro,
Speaker 1: go to some Smash Bros Tournaments. I mean, I'm a
Speaker 1: big melee guy, but uh, and the melee scene is
Speaker 1: not as big in as like Ultimate But yeah, dude,
Speaker 1: go to go to some ultimate tournaments, have some fun.
Speaker 1: That is a huge way that people make friends, right,
Speaker 1: because what is friendship really? You know, It's just like
Speaker 1: the reason why we make less friends as we get
Speaker 1: older is because friendship is just like shoving. Friendship is
Speaker 1: just fucking repeated interactions with the same people, and when
Speaker 1: you are an adult, you have less of that as
Speaker 1: you did when you were in college and high school.
Speaker 1: So look, man, if you go to a fucking ultimate
Speaker 1: tournament once a week for several weeks, you'll probably start
Speaker 1: seeing the same people and making friends. And yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know. Maybe then I don't I don't know what
Speaker 1: your game is. Maybe you could start a fucking circle
Speaker 1: where you guys all go to your each other's animal
Speaker 1: crossing islands. What is your favorite food slash snack when
Speaker 1: you're high Lately it's an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's,
Speaker 1: or like a or like a dollar slice of pizza
Speaker 1: that hit rocks. Okay, okay, all right. This is from
Speaker 1: a Trinity subject line post relationship guilt. Hey, GEK, my
Speaker 1: boyfriend and I have been together for almost six months,
Speaker 1: but I constantly grapple with the guilt of my past
Speaker 1: relationship with his best friend and coworker. We dated for
Speaker 1: three years and ultimately his best friend broke up with
Speaker 1: me over four years ago. While I have no feelings
Speaker 1: for his best friend and I'm wholeheartedly committed to my
Speaker 1: boyfriend and believe we should have been together all along,
Speaker 1: I can't help but feel I made a mistake and
Speaker 1: I feel guilty that I dated as best friend. My
Speaker 1: boyfriend has never once made me feel bad for this
Speaker 1: or blames me. What do I do to get over
Speaker 1: this feeling of guilt and that it will prevent us
Speaker 1: from getting more serious down the road? Ooh interesting? I
Speaker 1: mean I got a couple. Okay, So all right, so
Speaker 1: you dated this guy's friend before you dated him, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna guess that you guys were all kind of in
Speaker 1: the same circle and group and whatnot, and that's how
Speaker 1: you know your current boyfriend and your ex boyfriend who's
Speaker 1: the friend of blah blah blah. I mean, dude, did
Speaker 1: this guy you're his first? Of all? Okay, his friend
Speaker 1: broke up with you, right, here's his friend broke up
Speaker 1: with you four years ago, and you started dating this
Speaker 1: get your current boyfriend only six months ago. Listen, Trinity, this,
Speaker 1: I I don't here's the thing, Trindy, if it because okay,
Speaker 1: if you were dating his best friend, right and then
Speaker 1: you broke up with him to be with his friend,
Speaker 1: I could see why you would feel guilty about that.
Speaker 1: I could see why, you know, you could that would
Speaker 1: make you feel bad. But like this is that's this
Speaker 1: is a little bit not that like the timeline for this.
Speaker 1: I feel like you don't need to be guilty about it.
Speaker 1: I mean, god, damn you guys, you guys fucking is
Speaker 1: he still friends with the dude? I don't know. This
Speaker 1: just seems like this just seems like the game. You know,
Speaker 1: this just seems like how it came out. This by
Speaker 1: the by that when I said this seems like the game.
Speaker 1: It just is like this, this is what happened. You know,
Speaker 1: this is the game of life, right, I mean, why
Speaker 1: you guys fucking broke up four years ago? It was
Speaker 1: three and a half. It had been three and a
Speaker 1: half years since his friend broke up with you. I
Speaker 1: think I think, I think you're in the clear if
Speaker 1: you and his friend have a connection. It's like I
Speaker 1: think you're fine, dude. I mean again, it would be
Speaker 1: it would be a different situation. If if you broke
Speaker 1: up with the friend and then immediately you started dating,
Speaker 1: you started dating your current boyfriend, that makes a lot
Speaker 1: of sense. I you know, get why you would feel guilty,
Speaker 1: but like the timeline with this, I don't think. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't see why you're letting this prevent you from
Speaker 1: getting more serious down the road, you know. I mean,
Speaker 1: three and a half years is a pretty fucking long
Speaker 1: time since you dated his friend. Are you guys all
Speaker 1: I have more questions about this. I'm curing. Are you
Speaker 1: guys all in a in like a like a friend group? Still? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I've at least at least in my opinion,
Speaker 1: I think the timeline of this absolves you from guilt.
Speaker 1: I mean, but also especially because like if he broke
Speaker 1: up with you. Yeah, I don't, I don't. I think
Speaker 1: you're over thinking this. Trinity Okay, this is from Sean
Speaker 1: subject line Trees experience time differently. Hello from New Zealand, Gek.
Speaker 1: I was out in the bush with my mates and
Speaker 1: we were talking about the universe and things, as you do.
Speaker 1: I brought up how trees experience time differently compared to us,
Speaker 1: like from our perspective, the trees are growing very slowly,
Speaker 1: yet to the trees, they're shooting up fast and their
Speaker 1: roots are wiggling around underground like tentacle arms. We see
Speaker 1: them as really slow, yet they see us going fast.
Speaker 1: One of my bros said, trees aren't conscious beings, therefore
Speaker 1: they don't have a concept of time, so you're wrong,
Speaker 1: And we argued for like ten minutes about it, and
Speaker 1: it got nowhere. Is this just a bunch of yapping
Speaker 1: or is there solidity to this? I'm keen to hear
Speaker 1: your thoughts. Ps. I wear the full gecko suit during sex. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna reread this cause I'm trying to understand what
Speaker 1: your position is on this. Okay, so you're bringing Okay,
Speaker 1: so you're saying the trees experience time differently, and your
Speaker 1: boys like, trees aren't conscious beings, therefore they don't have
Speaker 1: a concept of time, so you're wrong. What is my
Speaker 1: opinion on this? I'm gonna I'm actually I feel there's
Speaker 1: probably some motherfucker who like can scientifically explain whether or
Speaker 1: not trees are conscious. But you know what, what what good?
Speaker 1: What good is is arguing with the boys when you
Speaker 1: try to bring science into it. All science does is
Speaker 1: make arguing with the boys not fun. So let's keep
Speaker 1: science out of this one. Huh, are tree? I agree
Speaker 1: with your homide. I think trees aren't conscious. I don't
Speaker 1: think trees have a concept of time. I think human
Speaker 1: being this is, this is this is like human beings
Speaker 1: are conscious. We have we have like our own uh
Speaker 1: privileges of consciousness as humans that trees don't have. I mean,
Speaker 1: some could call them privileges, some could call them curses whatever,
Speaker 1: who cares. But you know, like humans are, we're half
Speaker 1: we're half consciousness and we're half just doing and existing
Speaker 1: and being animal shit and just like you know, doing
Speaker 1: our homeostasis. Like I think it's an inherently human thing
Speaker 1: to have the self awareness that we get older. I
Speaker 1: don't think that like animals and trees and shit even
Speaker 1: know that they're growing or getting older. They just do it.
Speaker 1: And you don't have to know that you're doing something
Speaker 1: to do it. Of course, So I don't think trees
Speaker 1: are conscious. I don't think they have a concept of time.
Speaker 1: I believe that your boy is correct, Like trees don't
Speaker 1: know that they're gonna die, and they don't know they're
Speaker 1: getting older in the way the humans do. What's it
Speaker 1: like a New Zealand? Is it real? Are you guys
Speaker 1: having this conversation in like the fuck? Are you guys
Speaker 1: in the Shire? You know all the Lord of the
Speaker 1: Rings movies were made in New Zealand. Are you guys
Speaker 1: having this conversation in the Shire? That's pretty cool? All right,
Speaker 1: let's see, all right? This is from Billy, subject line
Speaker 1: cancer saved my life. Hi, Gek, I'm writing you this
Speaker 1: email the night before I go into surgery. I am
Speaker 1: twenty seven years old and fighting cancer. I never thought
Speaker 1: this would come up at this point in my life.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if ironic or funny is the right word,
Speaker 1: but four years ago I was in and out of
Speaker 1: hospitals for suicide attempts. Now that my mind wants to live,
Speaker 1: my body is fighting itself. You know what, I actually, Billy,
Speaker 1: I completely under I completely understand what you're saying. I
Speaker 1: completely fucking understand what you're saying. And I understand why
Speaker 1: you think it's funny and ironic, right, because yeah, when
Speaker 1: your mind that is so that is so fascinating. I'm
Speaker 1: extremely sorry to hear this, but that is fascinating. Right, dude.
Speaker 1: I'd noticed this myself after like, I don't know, get
Speaker 1: getting over wanting to die is like once your once
Speaker 1: your brain is like, oh shit, I life is I
Speaker 1: ask you. You know I like life. This is good?
Speaker 1: You know it is it? I see? It is funny
Speaker 1: that now your body is like, well, too fucking bad.
Speaker 1: You know. Let's see your body is fighting itself to say,
Speaker 1: I've come a long way since then. As an understatement,
Speaker 1: gratitude and living in the moment are two things I
Speaker 1: have strengthened tremendously throughout this journey. I've never been more
Speaker 1: thankful for everything I have and have been able to experience.
Speaker 1: While the physical pain is tough at times, I truly
Speaker 1: believe this experience has opened my eyes to a more
Speaker 1: enriching life. So many small worries I no longer have,
Speaker 1: and living in the moment has unlocked so many beautiful
Speaker 1: views I've overlooked in the past. Thank you for all
Speaker 1: you do. Best wishes, Internet Deco. Man, mm bro, I
Speaker 1: hope you're all right, Billy, I really do. I hope
Speaker 1: you're doing okay. But yeah, I know what you mean.
Speaker 1: I know what you mean. As to why, as to everything,
Speaker 1: you're saying as to why he feels like ironic and
Speaker 1: in a weird one. I'm like, yeah, man, I get it,
Speaker 1: I get it, I get it. I get why once
Speaker 1: you're kind of faced with like some real shit, a
Speaker 1: lot of the small stuff no longer no longer phases you. Hmm.
Speaker 1: Thanks for sharing your experience with us. Billy all right.
Speaker 1: This is from Kate, subject line the Taco Bell Crunch
Speaker 1: rap Supremacy. Hey gek, when are you coming back to Seattle?
Speaker 1: I have no idea, but eventually I hope this email
Speaker 1: finds you as I would like to discuss something that
Speaker 1: I am very passionate about, Taco Bell. I have always
Speaker 1: loved Taco Bell growing up, and now, as a twenty
Speaker 1: five year old with full autonomy and subsequently left to
Speaker 1: be responsible of my own executive functioning, I make the
Speaker 1: choice to eat Taco Bell all the time. I eat
Speaker 1: Taco Bell a minimum of twice a week. I get
Speaker 1: emails about upcoming sales, new releases, and even have the app.
Speaker 1: I'm honestly kind of disgusted at how much I'm into
Speaker 1: Taco Bell. If I continue to eat Taco Bell the
Speaker 1: way I do now, I will no longer be able
Speaker 1: to leave my house without a crane within the next
Speaker 1: five years. However, as it stands, I am not crane
Speaker 1: bound and continue to push past the endlessness of limitations,
Speaker 1: explore new opportunities, and experiment with the food items at
Speaker 1: Taco Bell. Within my exploration, I have discovered a very
Speaker 1: underrated hidden gem on the menu, and I feel it
Speaker 1: is my obligation to share that with you all. I
Speaker 1: promise this is not sponsored, but I want to hear this.
Speaker 1: I want to hear this, ladies, gentlemen, and the rest
Speaker 1: of the geckos across the Internet, the most underappreciated menu
Speaker 1: item at Taco Bell is the black Bean Crunch Wraps Supreme.
Speaker 1: Hold on, what is the Black being crunch Rap Supreme.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna google this real quick. Black Bean crunch Rap Supreme.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing, bro, if I go to Taco Bell there,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna get anything without any meat in it.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna get any vegetarian items. Okay, so this
Speaker 1: is yeah, this is a fully vegetarian Yeah. I mean,
Speaker 1: look cool for you if that's your thing. But like,
Speaker 1: if I'm going to Taco Bell, there's no way I'm
Speaker 1: consuming anything without meat. In it. Okay, the black Being
Speaker 1: crunch Wrap Supreme is ten times. But this is back
Speaker 1: to the email. The black Being crunch Wrap Supreme is
Speaker 1: ten times better than the beef, than the beef or
Speaker 1: any other meat or protein substitute in the crunch wrap. Okay,
Speaker 1: So this person is trying to argue to me that
Speaker 1: even as this person I assume as a meat eater,
Speaker 1: there's no way you're not. This person's not a vegan
Speaker 1: or a fucking vegetarian. You don't get this into the
Speaker 1: taco bell as a vegetarian or a vegan. Okay, So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna assume this is a regular. This is a
Speaker 1: meat eater that is attempting to argue that the meatless
Speaker 1: black Bean crunch Wrap Supreme is better than the crunch
Speaker 1: wrap with meat in it. And I'm gonna be open
Speaker 1: minded and I'm gonna read this argument. Okay, that is
Speaker 1: a hill I am willing to die on over a
Speaker 1: thousand times. If you haven't tried it, I beg you
Speaker 1: to do so as soon as you can. I'm not
Speaker 1: sold on this this. I don't believe this. The flavor
Speaker 1: combination when the black beans and nacho cheese mix the
Speaker 1: crunchiness of the tostado, the crispiness of the lattice, the
Speaker 1: freshness of the tomatoes, I promise is not an ad
Speaker 1: the creaminess of the creaminess of the sour cream wrapped
Speaker 1: up in the softly grilled flower tortilla. Not even God
Speaker 1: himself could cultivate such a divine experience. Okay, Kate, here's
Speaker 1: the thing. You haven't yet attempted to explain why it's
Speaker 1: better because everything that you've explained is still present in
Speaker 1: the chicken crunch rap. So why is the black version bet?
Speaker 1: Why is this better without chicken? I know that there
Speaker 1: are many things that are discussed on this platform, including
Speaker 1: the food at Taco Bell, but that's honestly not enough.
Speaker 1: We need to have even more discussions about Taco Bell
Speaker 1: than we already do. Okay, this hold on. Not enough
Speaker 1: people understand that the black Bean crunch Wrap Supreme holds
Speaker 1: supremacy over any other crunch rap. Okay, all right, that's
Speaker 1: pretty much the end of the email. This pretty listen, Kate,
Speaker 1: you gotta give me some I don't. I'm not. This
Speaker 1: email doesn't compel me to try it because there's nothing
Speaker 1: in here that's telling me that the black beans are
Speaker 1: going to be better than the chicken. I don't I
Speaker 1: was gonna, you know, I don't even want to give you.
Speaker 1: I don't want to even give you lip service and
Speaker 1: tell you that I'm gonna try it, because I'm probably not.
Speaker 1: I'm probably just gonna next time I go there, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna just this is making me kind of hungry for
Speaker 1: like an actual crunch wrap with like chicken in it,
Speaker 1: and shit. Yeah, bro, I'm also gonna have to I'm
Speaker 1: also gonna need a mean to take me out of
Speaker 1: my house pretty soon. I'm yeah. I've mentioned I was
Speaker 1: here in Tijuana and this morning I was like, this
Speaker 1: morning I was I was like, should I get like
Speaker 1: an authentic whatever the fuck? And I'm like, no, I
Speaker 1: don't care. I'm gonna go to Carls Junior. And so
Speaker 1: I went and I got a breakfast burrito. It was great,
Speaker 1: but I was also like, I'm eating too much fast food.
Speaker 1: I gotta, I gotta, I gotta stop doing that, all right, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is from jeffano Yuki, subject line, I had a
Speaker 1: dream of being downgraded. Hey, Lyle, nice to finally write
Speaker 1: something to you, because trying to call you is difficult
Speaker 1: for some reason in my country I am from Lithuania.
Speaker 1: I have a story. I had this dream of like
Speaker 1: being in a dark void or room or something, and
Speaker 1: suddenly whisp started to get louder, and I heard one
Speaker 1: voice talking about and comparing all the close ones I know,
Speaker 1: like from the family and relatives, and then more voices
Speaker 1: show up, and eventually they start talking about me. It
Speaker 1: was faint, but I clearly remember the whispers in the
Speaker 1: dream telling me that I'm worthless and a disgrace to
Speaker 1: the family, basically downgrading me. And that got me thinking,
Speaker 1: did my thoughts and feelings translate to a dream because
Speaker 1: I have low self esteem? Or this could even be
Speaker 1: deeper of past relatives or family members from the dead
Speaker 1: coming to visit me in my dreams and expressing disappointment
Speaker 1: in me because two or because one or two weeks
Speaker 1: before this dream my grandpa passed away from a heart attack.
Speaker 1: I'm probably overthinking too much about it, but I wanted
Speaker 1: to share this experience to you and hopefully you give
Speaker 1: some thoughts about this. Most people I've talked to have
Speaker 1: said it's basically my low self esteem evolving in my dreams. Also,
Speaker 1: Gecko and Lithuanian is geck on us. Thank you for
Speaker 1: sharing that. I yeah, I think dream I don't. I'm
Speaker 1: I'm not a law a believer in I mean, at
Speaker 1: this point, I'm like fairly agnostic about all things because
Speaker 1: I I just the older I get, the more I
Speaker 1: realize I don't fucking know anything and that the universe
Speaker 1: is completely beyond me. So I'm fairly agnostic towards a
Speaker 1: lot of shit. But I'm not super I don't. I'm
Speaker 1: not super big into like people from the I don't think.
Speaker 1: I don't think at least. Again, I'm fairly agnostic, But
Speaker 1: I don't think at least that people from the dead
Speaker 1: come to visit us in our dreams. That's less believable
Speaker 1: to me. I absolutely believe that you know, fears and
Speaker 1: low self esteem and feelings, whether subconscious or unconscious, whether
Speaker 1: whether conscious or unconscious, absolutely manifest in our dreams. Like
Speaker 1: that makes sense. So yeah, this probably could be just
Speaker 1: like a fear that's manifesting in your dream. I believe
Speaker 1: if it makes you feel in a better I believe
Speaker 1: that that's probably much more likely. That's way more likely
Speaker 1: than it is that like your grandpa is visiting you
Speaker 1: to tell you that you suck. And by the way,
Speaker 1: imagine if he was doing that, right, I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: I'd have to imagine being dead is because when you're dead,
Speaker 1: you're resting, right. Why would you want to disturb your
Speaker 1: own sleep? Why would you want to disturb a very comfortable,
Speaker 1: disturbing sleep to tell your grandson that he sucks? You know,
Speaker 1: I don't think he's doing that. I think he's probably chilling.
Speaker 1: So anyway, I mean, yeah, that's my thought about that.
Speaker 1: What's it like in Lithuania? Where the hell is Lithuania?
Speaker 1: I'm looking this up. I've never I haven't been to
Speaker 1: any of like Eastern Europe, like Estonia or Poland or
Speaker 1: any of that shit. It's mainly like Western that could
Speaker 1: be cool. Maybe I'll go to Lithuania for absolutely no reason.
Speaker 1: For Latvia is interesting? What's going on in Latvia? All right? Okay?
Speaker 1: This is from El Barto, subject line Sissyphus to do list. Hello, Ghek.
Speaker 1: I am a senior in college, living a good life,
Speaker 1: and I've been achieving things that I've been working on
Speaker 1: for years. I have an internship in quantitative finance. I
Speaker 1: have people that love me and appreciate me, and yet
Speaker 1: I keep finding myself feeling like I should be doing
Speaker 1: more that, or I jumped straight into planning and working
Speaker 1: on the next thing without even finishing the things in
Speaker 1: front of me, without even noticing. I guess the best
Speaker 1: way to describe this state is some weird multitasking Sissyphus
Speaker 1: conundrum type shit. And I just can't or have forgotten
Speaker 1: how to turn my brain off. It's mentally and physically
Speaker 1: impossible for me to sit and just be. The weight
Speaker 1: of reality is too nauseating, and the feeling of I
Speaker 1: need to be doing something goes bonkers. Not looking for anything,
Speaker 1: just wanted to share gek on brother, I'm glad you're
Speaker 1: not looking any for anything, but I old by the
Speaker 1: way I have. Me and I have good friends we
Speaker 1: have who have like that I need to be doing
Speaker 1: something feeling is a a permanent hard It's hardwired into Uh,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna talk about myself. It's hardwired into my existence,
Speaker 1: like hardwired the whole I need to be doing something thing,
Speaker 1: and I've had it forever. I've had it since I
Speaker 1: I middle school or whatever. It's the reason why I
Speaker 1: was able to ever do any of the shit that
Speaker 1: I ever did in my life, and recently I have
Speaker 1: discovered because after like talking to friends who have that
Speaker 1: same shit and talking to my dad who has that shit,
Speaker 1: is it's adhd, you know, like there's a word for it.
Speaker 1: I thought though I didn't realize there was a word
Speaker 1: for it. I didn't realize I thought that that was
Speaker 1: just how I was, or that's like the human condition
Speaker 1: or whatever. And maybe I'm not here to fucking diagnose you,
Speaker 1: and I don't fucking you know, I don't even know
Speaker 1: this is a problem for you. But again, I'm just
Speaker 1: talking about this is just my own personal now, I'm
Speaker 1: not here to this. I'm not talking I'm you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not even this is not about your situation. This
Speaker 1: is just I'm relating to youth or my own thing.
Speaker 1: And for me, like and this is recently, bro this
Speaker 1: is like within like the last month, I've been like, oh,
Speaker 1: this feeling that I thought was just a weird amorphous
Speaker 1: part of like my existence has a name and people
Speaker 1: talk about it, you know, and people like kinda kind
Speaker 1: of like, uh, you know, they they they work on
Speaker 1: it through through medications and through fucking strategies and ship
Speaker 1: and and again for me, uh, the ADHD thing of
Speaker 1: I always need to be doing something. It is a
Speaker 1: when unchecked, uh, for for me and for for my
Speaker 1: friends that I've talked to have this ship a curse
Speaker 1: when unchecked, when undealt with a curse, dude, just a curse.
Speaker 1: Fucks up every aspect of your life. Executive functioning makes you,
Speaker 1: makes you live in a shit put you having like
Speaker 1: trash and clothes all over the floor, and like you know,
Speaker 1: can't hold down a relationship, can't hold down a job.
Speaker 1: Like It's just like, it's a fucking curse, right when
Speaker 1: when calculated, strategized, tamed, it's a fucking blessing, dude, right
Speaker 1: because the whole I need to be doing something thing.
Speaker 1: It pushes you into positive places. It makes you want
Speaker 1: to get more out of life. It makes you wanna,
Speaker 1: you know, do shit and live a better life, and
Speaker 1: it leads you to cool places. And the process I'm
Speaker 1: just talking about myself still, the process for me of
Speaker 1: like raining it in so that it's not a detriment,
Speaker 1: so that you're not hating yourself all the time because
Speaker 1: you're not doing stuff. What does that process look like
Speaker 1: for me? I don't know. It's a lot of like
Speaker 1: fine tuning routines and a lot of going to fucking
Speaker 1: hold on, I have a sneeze. Fuck, I have to sneeze,
Speaker 1: but the sneeze isn't coming. Hold on, it's coming. It's
Speaker 1: better to be here. It's on its way. Okay. The
Speaker 1: process for me looked like, I mean, you guys know,
Speaker 1: I won't shut the fuck up about vibe ance. That
Speaker 1: shit is great whatever, at least for me when I
Speaker 1: discovered that, Like, oh, when I discovered that this uh yeah,
Speaker 1: the whole I need to be doing something thing is like, uh,
Speaker 1: it's a thing, you know, It's not just a weird
Speaker 1: thing that is a unique part of my own uh
Speaker 1: firmware as a human being. I was like, oh shit,
Speaker 1: this is interesting. I can like tame this. I don't
Speaker 1: know if that has anything to do with your life,
Speaker 1: but I don't know. That's just that's just my I'm
Speaker 1: not looking for anything either, I just want I also
Speaker 1: just wanted to subject line working at a retirement home
Speaker 1: made me hate old people. Hello, gek, I just want
Speaker 1: to vent about working at a retirement home. Oh sorry,
Speaker 1: there's a hiccup. Working at one has not made me
Speaker 1: see old people. They put this person put people in
Speaker 1: quotation marks. This person. Working at one has not made
Speaker 1: me see old people in a good light, due to
Speaker 1: me realizing, for the most part they are useless old
Speaker 1: and I have a sneeze coming. I'm gonna sneeze again.
Speaker 1: Should I leave this one in because I feel like
Speaker 1: i've I feel like I've interrupted the podcast with a
Speaker 1: lot of sneezes. I'm gonna I'll leave it in. Fuck
Speaker 1: it's gone, all right, all right, fuck it, We'll leave
Speaker 1: that in. Who cares? Let it? Let it. Imperfection is fine,
Speaker 1: It's imperfection is fine. Okay, back to this person who
Speaker 1: hates people. Uh. Working on one is not me see
Speaker 1: old people in a good light, due to me realizing,
Speaker 1: for the most part they're useless. Again. Quotitions people who
Speaker 1: are detrimental to the society. They are a part of
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. Okay. It bothers me a lot that we
Speaker 1: let them stay in positions of power when their point
Speaker 1: of view comes from the seventies and eighties. It would
Speaker 1: be better if they weren't the nastiest again. Quotation marks
Speaker 1: people in both sense of the word. All in all,
Speaker 1: working here has made me come to two conclusions. One
Speaker 1: past a certain age, people shouldn't be allowed to get
Speaker 1: life extending care. Two, I'd never want to be like
Speaker 1: those people who are just too selfish to let go.
Speaker 1: I know this is a very bad point of view
Speaker 1: to have, but it's how I feel interesting. Past a
Speaker 1: certain age people shouldn't be allowed to get life extending care.
Speaker 1: What age? What? What? What age? Aiden? Is it? Like?
Speaker 1: I guess in your in your universe, is it like, Okay,
Speaker 1: once you're ninety, you did it? You know? At what age? Yeah?
Speaker 1: At what age does the hospital go and you know
Speaker 1: what you're what do we at? What age does the
Speaker 1: hospital look at you and go? What are we doing here?
Speaker 1: You know? What? What are we doing here? Yeah? Ninety?
Speaker 1: I don't know. This person probably thinks it's seventy. This
Speaker 1: person's probably like, look after seventy, you're on your own.
Speaker 1: I like this, this is interesting. This person's like I
Speaker 1: want to be like those I never I don't want
Speaker 1: to be those people who are too selfish to let go.
Speaker 1: I don't know why this is making me laugh. Just
Speaker 1: this person, this person being pissed off is making me
Speaker 1: laugh a lot, because yeah, this person's looking at it
Speaker 1: and as like a ninety year old, and they're like,
Speaker 1: just die already. Why are you you? Why do you?
Speaker 1: Why do you? Why are you so? Why do you
Speaker 1: love yourself so much that you need to like, let
Speaker 1: it go, let your You're holding on to important carbon
Speaker 1: that could be used for soil. You know, you borrow you,
Speaker 1: your boy. All of our all of our bodies are
Speaker 1: on loan. All of our bodies are on loan. You know,
Speaker 1: I get it. Yeah, at ninety it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: let yourself go back into the soil. You can't hold
Speaker 1: it to you can't you can't hoard it forever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I get where you're coming from. Aiden. I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't think we should kill all the old people. I
Speaker 1: assume I feel like you want. I feel like you
Speaker 1: wanted to email me saying that you think we should
Speaker 1: kill all the old people. I don't think we should
Speaker 1: do that. I don't think I think that's an ethical dilemma.
Speaker 1: I don't even know if it's a dilemma. I don't
Speaker 1: think there's a lot of people who think we should
Speaker 1: kill all the old people. But I do understand from
Speaker 1: this person's I do understand why this person like they're
Speaker 1: working at the retirement home at this like ninety year old,
Speaker 1: and they're like, just let it go. You did it,
Speaker 1: there's nothing, you got no other Although actually I will
Speaker 1: say this, I will say this, what's this? Somebody somebody
Speaker 1: recommended this book to me. I didn't. I didn't read it,
Speaker 1: but I researched the author. This is what I do
Speaker 1: now when people recommend, oh, I have a new hold
Speaker 1: on it, staring at the sun book. Oh, I have
Speaker 1: a new I have a new unpopular opinion. I shouldn't
Speaker 1: even say this because it's it's very stupid and I'm
Speaker 1: half joking when I say it, and I might look
Speaker 1: back at this years from now and be like, that
Speaker 1: was a really stupid thing to say. But okay, here's
Speaker 1: the thing. All books, not like all books, but like
Speaker 1: books about like ideas, you know, books like self help
Speaker 1: books and like books that have thesises to them. You
Speaker 1: can kind of get the same idea by just reading
Speaker 1: the thesis as you can by reading the whole ass book.
Speaker 1: So like, somebody recommended this book to me, and I
Speaker 1: just like read about the book itself and about the
Speaker 1: author instead of like reading the actual book. That's how
Speaker 1: that's lately how I read books, which is maybe kind
Speaker 1: of stupid, but I think it's like, I think it's
Speaker 1: a life hack. I think it's a pro tool anyway.
Speaker 1: All right, So yeah, this book I got recommended Staring
Speaker 1: at the Sun by Irvin Yallom, and I was researching
Speaker 1: this dude, Ervin Yallom. He's like a psychiatrist who does
Speaker 1: existential psychiatry. Yeah, but I was talking a lot about
Speaker 1: existential shit. A few people recommended me this book. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I promise this relates to what we were talking about. Okay,
Speaker 1: So this guy, Irvin Yalloam, he's still alive ninety three
Speaker 1: years old, and he got married to his current wife
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty four. This motherfucker got married at the
Speaker 1: age of ninety two, so he's kicking. He's doing it,
Speaker 1: So that is possible. You can, in fact get still
Speaker 1: do life things at the age of ninety two. Who
Speaker 1: else is who else is old and doing shit? I
Speaker 1: don't know. Look at Bernie Sanders, Dude, that guy's fucking
Speaker 1: eighty three years old. He went on stage at Coachella
Speaker 1: to talk about a bunch of shit. So I don't
Speaker 1: know old people they're still doing stuff. Eighty three is
Speaker 1: a jump. Ninety is a pretty big jump from eighty three.
Speaker 1: I'll say that, but no, I don't. I don't think
Speaker 1: we should kill all the old people. Aiden, I don't hear. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know what. I'm with you on this, Aiden, I
Speaker 1: don't think we should kill all the old people. But
Speaker 1: I do think you should just I do. But I
Speaker 1: do think at some point you should just die. I
Speaker 1: think at some point you should just die. I think,
Speaker 1: you know, if you're like a hundred, like you know,
Speaker 1: those people who live like live to like like in
Speaker 1: their hundreds, I don't know, maybe I'll you know what
Speaker 1: I want to re I'm gonna rewatch this when I'm
Speaker 1: like if I if I'm if if I'm honored enough,
Speaker 1: if I'm privileged enough to make it to the age
Speaker 1: of one hundred, I want to rewatch this, and I
Speaker 1: want to be like this guy had no idea what
Speaker 1: I had no idea at that time, at twenty seven,
Speaker 1: what it would feel like to be one hundred, because
Speaker 1: I'll if I make it to one hundred, I'll probably
Speaker 1: if you can. If you make it to one hundred
Speaker 1: in the first place, you probably were fighting the whole time.
Speaker 1: You probably were present and actually living your life the
Speaker 1: whole Time'll still be clinging to it, right because you
Speaker 1: could be seventy one and be like, I'm done, let's
Speaker 1: just let's just fucking we did it pretty good. I mean, fuck,
Speaker 1: you can feel you can feel like that way, you
Speaker 1: can feel away at twenty three, you know. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think we should kill all the old people.
Speaker 1: Why don't you? I don't know. Maybe should we kill
Speaker 1: all that should be kill all the No, we shouldn't
Speaker 1: kill the old people. I don't think we should do that.
Speaker 1: But I do think at some point you just got it,
Speaker 1: you just gotta do it. At some point you just
Speaker 1: gotta die. If you're like one hundred and eleven, that's
Speaker 1: that's too much. Although I don't know who cares, I
Speaker 1: don't give it. You know what, Actually, actually, Hall, I
Speaker 1: take back everything I just said. I take back a
Speaker 1: hundred except the killing the old people. Think. I don't
Speaker 1: think we should do that. I remain in that, But
Speaker 1: everything else I said I take it back. I think
Speaker 1: if you live to one hundred and eleven, you probably
Speaker 1: worked relatively hard to do that. I think you should
Speaker 1: be able to keep I think you should be able
Speaker 1: to keep your body. You should be able to keep
Speaker 1: your body as long as I take everything back. I
Speaker 1: don't think you should die. I think you should. I
Speaker 1: think you should be able to keep your body as
Speaker 1: long as you can, and then at a certain point
Speaker 1: gracefully return it to the earth. But keep it as
Speaker 1: long as you can. You know what we got. We
Speaker 1: got enough carbon to do shit. Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know anything. I'm insane. All right, there we go.
Speaker 1: That was the last email I'm gonna read. I think
Speaker 1: that's it. I think any I think attempting to read
Speaker 1: any more emails is a bad idea. So I I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go. What am I gonna go do? I'm gonna go.
Speaker 1: I might go to sleep, I might do that. I
Speaker 1: might go eat something. I'm gonna do one of those
Speaker 1: two things. Thank you for listening to gek mail. I'm
Speaker 1: I'm very excited for you guys to see this ti
Speaker 1: Wana video. It's gonna take me like a little bit.
Speaker 1: I don't know exactly how long it's gonna take me
Speaker 1: to edit, but I'm very excited about it. I feel
Speaker 1: like it's gonna be the main ship that I want
Speaker 1: to focus on. For for you know, indefinitely is like
Speaker 1: making this type of video. I think it's a cool
Speaker 1: a cool format. I'm interested in it, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: keep doing this kind of ship. Thank you all very
Speaker 1: much for listening to this pot if you guys. Thank
Speaker 1: you guys so very much for listening to this podcast
Speaker 1: over the years, because if you hadn't been listening to
Speaker 1: this podcast, I would not be in a position where
Speaker 1: I could make, uh, make cool videos and do ship
Speaker 1: like this. So thank you guys. I appreciate it. And
Speaker 1: do I have anything else to anything else to say? No,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go either eat something or
Speaker 1: go to sleep. Okay, bye everyone, Thank you for listening
Speaker 1: to the podcast. Bye bye again. Goes on the line
Speaker 1: taking your phone calls every night. Dever goes to and
Speaker 1: try's teaching you aloud in the memorial line, not really
Speaker 1: ex