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Speaker 1: Hello, how's it going. This is gek Mail. This is

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Speaker 1: a segment that I do sometimes on the podcast where

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Speaker 1: instead of talking to callers on the phone, I just

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Speaker 1: read emails. And I am currently coming at you from

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Speaker 1: a windowless hotel room in Tijuana, Mexico. I just finished

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Speaker 1: I'm down here filming a video. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you guys saw I made this video a month ago

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Speaker 1: or I guess. I filmed it back in February of

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Speaker 1: me walking with my boy Jason, who I met through

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Speaker 1: this podcast through Japan, and I talked about depression, I

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Speaker 1: talked about having an existential crisis, a lot of that stuff,

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Speaker 1: and I really enjoyed that format of video. So I

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Speaker 1: am currently down here in Tijuana filming with someone else

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Speaker 1: who I met through this podcast, and we're making a

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Speaker 1: video together and that's exciting to me. And so yeah,

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Speaker 1: I feel great. I feel revitalized. I feel I've been

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Speaker 1: trying to find a way to kind of like evolve

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Speaker 1: the show in some way because it's been it's been like,

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Speaker 1: you know, five years now that I've been being a

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Speaker 1: Gecko and doing this podcast, and I really like this format.

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Speaker 1: So I'm excited for you guys to see this video

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Speaker 1: that I'm gonna make. I just shot it and we're

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Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna take some time to edit it. But anyway, whatever,

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Speaker 1: that's what's going on with me. That's what's going on

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Speaker 1: with me as far as this podcast episode goes. It's

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Speaker 1: gonna be me reading viewer mail. I made an Instagram

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Speaker 1: story yesterday asking people to say me mail with whatever,

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Speaker 1: and so I'm gonna now read some of that viewer

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Speaker 1: mail for the next hour, perhaps even more, And hopefully

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Speaker 1: this provides you with some form of distraction as you

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Speaker 1: either fold laundry or drive a car, or do any

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Speaker 1: other things that you would do, or maybe you just

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Speaker 1: maybe I don't know how you do podcasts. Maybe you don't.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you just sit in a chair and listen to

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Speaker 1: your podcast without doing a second thing. But whatever it

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Speaker 1: is that you're doing while you're doing this, I hope

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Speaker 1: that this is a good this works for you as

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Speaker 1: a second thing to be doing. Okay, all right, let's

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Speaker 1: just start reading emails here, all right. First email, This

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Speaker 1: is from Joel. Subject line thoughts on your GTA six

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Speaker 1: existential dread rant from Joel. Hello, Lyle Joel. Here, he

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Speaker 1: wrote his full name by the way he wrote Joel,

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Speaker 1: and then his last name. But and he wrote, he

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Speaker 1: gave me his first and last name in both the

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Speaker 1: subject line and in the email itself. But I don't

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Speaker 1: think I'm gonna read it aloud, because there's no reason

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Speaker 1: to do that. Okay, all right, Joel here, I just

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Speaker 1: finished listening to your Gecko Male episode where you mentioned

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Speaker 1: how excited you are for Grand Theft Auto six this

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Speaker 1: is true, and how you were in middle school when

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Speaker 1: the trailer for GTA five came out. I think it's

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Speaker 1: really interesting to reflect on those points in our lives

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Speaker 1: when we're super excited for something versus how we actually

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Speaker 1: feel once it finally happens. If I could go back

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Speaker 1: to my twelve year old self playing San Andreas and

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Speaker 1: show him all the amazing things you could do in

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Speaker 1: GTA five, how great it looks, all the crazy stuff

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Speaker 1: you can pull off, he'd be blown away. But now

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Speaker 1: that I am in my late twenties or thirties, Now

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Speaker 1: that I'm in my late twenties or thirties, okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: that makes sense. Now that I'm in my late twenties,

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Speaker 1: I barely care. Hmm. It's like, look, how cool this is?

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Speaker 1: And yet you just don't feel it anymore. Hopefully that

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Speaker 1: doesn't happen to you a year from now when GCA

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Speaker 1: six comes out. Sorry to be a bit of a bummer,

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Speaker 1: but I guess that's just how life is sometimes. Huh.

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Speaker 1: Just a few thoughts from me, Joel. And then he

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Speaker 1: wrote again his first and last name, and then he writes, PS,

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Speaker 1: please keep my name anonymous. Why would you write your

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Speaker 1: first and last name? Here's the thing. I get it.

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Speaker 1: If you send an email and you just Google just

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Speaker 1: has your first and last name in the in the

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Speaker 1: fucking thing, but you wrote your first and last We're

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Speaker 1: keeping Joel. Joel's anonymous enough, I think, But why would

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Speaker 1: you write your first and last name in this in

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Speaker 1: this subject line, and then twice in the body of

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Speaker 1: the email if you wanted to be anonymous. Sorry, I

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Speaker 1: don't know why I'm coming at you, Joel. I don't

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Speaker 1: mean to come at you. I'm bummed that you don't care.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm bummed that you don't care. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what your life is is like. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's not that big of a deal. If you don't care,

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Speaker 1: it's fine. I have games like that. By the way

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Speaker 1: I used to be. I I remember I used to

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Speaker 1: I was really obsessed with Kingdom Hearts when I was

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Speaker 1: a boy, when I was at twelve and I I

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Speaker 1: was so, so so excited for Kingdom Hearts three. And

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Speaker 1: then it didn't come out for like seven years or

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Speaker 1: eight years or I don't even know. And I by

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Speaker 1: the time it came out, I didn't give a shit

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Speaker 1: at all. And there's been there's been stuff like that

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Speaker 1: where I just didn't care. But this I care. I

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Speaker 1: care about grand theft auto. I'm actually while actually while

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Speaker 1: I'm like on planes and shit in Tijuana. Yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: just in a window. I'm just in a hotel room.

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Speaker 1: I did. We did a bunch of fun stuff to

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Speaker 1: film the video, but after that, I just kind of

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Speaker 1: sat in the hotel room playing San Andreas the Definitive

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Speaker 1: Edition on my switch and that's been pretty great. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't think that I actually don't think. I know

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Speaker 1: that you're saying this is a bummer, but I don't

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Speaker 1: think that this is that much of a bummer. You know,

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Speaker 1: it makes sense right when you're a kid, because I remember, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I remember being when I was a kid, video games

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Speaker 1: were all I cared about. They were the scope of

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Speaker 1: my life, you know. I was like, yeah, I was

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Speaker 1: twelve years old and my my the main narrative of

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Speaker 1: my existence was I'm so excited for for like Portal

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Speaker 1: two and Super Smash Brothers Brawl. And then you get

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Speaker 1: older and your life expands. It's a good thing. It's

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Speaker 1: a good thing. I really care. I'm really excited. I

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Speaker 1: really care about Grand Theft Auto six. But you know,

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Speaker 1: you get older and you want you want You're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: grand Theft, thought was six is cool, But it would

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Speaker 1: also be nice to have a wife and kids, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, or to have a career. You know,

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Speaker 1: that's good. It's good. It's good. I think it's I

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Speaker 1: enjoy that I still care about video games, like they're

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Speaker 1: a fun hobby. But I think if if all, if

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Speaker 1: if all I cared about in my late twenties or

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Speaker 1: thirties was video games, I think that would be more

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Speaker 1: of a bummer, you know what I mean. Like, it's

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Speaker 1: good to care about other stuff. It's like, look, how

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Speaker 1: cool it's what is he saying all the greatest stuff?

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Speaker 1: I don't know if Joel, I don't know, Joel, don't

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't take this as depressing. I

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Speaker 1: don't take this as depressing. I think it's natural to

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Speaker 1: care about stuff aside from just video games. But dude,

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Speaker 1: I was thinking when I was playing, because I'm playing

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Speaker 1: San Andres right now, and I'm like, damn, this looks

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Speaker 1: like total shit compared to even Grantraft Little four. I

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Speaker 1: don't know why I've turned I don't know why I've

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Speaker 1: turned this into like IGN presents therapy, getto But I

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Speaker 1: do like video games, all right. This one comes from Vinnie,

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Speaker 1: subject line do ayahuasca. He says, if you feel it's

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Speaker 1: calling you, trust your intentions. We are all God. Consciousness

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Speaker 1: is God. Death is incredibly easy. Living life is difficult,

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Speaker 1: but that's what makes it special. We're here to leave

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Speaker 1: our impact better than we found it so we can

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Speaker 1: upgrade in our next life. You've already done so much

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Speaker 1: positively impactful that I hope you're being a friend to yourself.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Vinnie. That's really nice of you to say,

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Speaker 1: And based on how fortunate you are in this life,

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Speaker 1: it's very likely your previous life followed this advice. Be well, Vinnie,

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Speaker 1: Thank you man. This was a sweet email. This is

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Speaker 1: really nice. I don't want to do ayahuasca. I used

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Speaker 1: to think I wanted to do ayahuasca, and now I don't.

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Speaker 1: And here's why it is, because, well, yeah, I've been

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Speaker 1: talking about a lot on the podcast about like existential bullshit,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like, let's see, it's June. For basically

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Speaker 1: all of February, March, April, and half of May, so

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Speaker 1: about three and a half months. My con is constant

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Speaker 1: existential thoughts. And I was thinking a lot about this

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Speaker 1: shit about like we are all God and consciousness of

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Speaker 1: God and all that stuff. And it's in a lot

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Speaker 1: of that when like thinking about death and shit, A

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Speaker 1: lot of that was scary. But the past few weeks

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking about it. I'm still thinking about it, but

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Speaker 1: not from like a I'm scared of it, from like

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Speaker 1: a like it's interesting to think about place. But I

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Speaker 1: don't want to do ayahuasca. Man, there's no I I

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Speaker 1: I feel like, you gotta you gotta keep you gotta

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Speaker 1: keep one foot on the earth. You know, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean, You really got to keep one foot

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Speaker 1: on the earth or else you're going to just go

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Speaker 1: fucking completely insane. I get you, though, on the whole

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Speaker 1: we are all God conscious death is easy. Living life

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Speaker 1: is difficult. That is true. Death is easier than life.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to do anything if you're dead. You

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Speaker 1: don't have to you don't have to go to work,

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Speaker 1: you don't have to talk to anyone, you don't have

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Speaker 1: to go grocery shopping. It's true. I was I was

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Speaker 1: thinking about this. Forgive me if I've talked about this

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Speaker 1: on the podcast before, but I was on when I

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Speaker 1: was depressed, and I was on Wikipedia one night, and I, God,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I've told the story before. I'm not

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Speaker 1: gonna do it anyway. I was depressed. I was on Wikipedia,

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Speaker 1: and I was on a Wikipedia page for this movement

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Speaker 1: called anti natalism that was like like a like a

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Speaker 1: philosophical idea that it is that it is unethical to

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Speaker 1: have children because you're bringing consciousness into existence without its permission,

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Speaker 1: and then like consciousness is suffering and shit. And while

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Speaker 1: I was depressed, I was reading that and I was like,

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Speaker 1: that's true, dude, consciousness is consciousness is is depressing. And

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Speaker 1: then but that's a that's a that's it. That's it's

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Speaker 1: some shit you have when you're depressed, you know. I

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Speaker 1: was walking around, uh, in in Tijuana a little bit

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Speaker 1: yesterday and I was just I just watched these two people.

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Speaker 1: They must have been, like I don't know, they were young.

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Speaker 1: They must have been like twenty or something. There's just

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Speaker 1: this couple. They were just holding hands and one had

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Speaker 1: like a drink in the like I had like a

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Speaker 1: fucking like a tear or something. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: this is that. I was like, this is nice, This

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Speaker 1: is good. This is life is fine. Life is fine.

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Speaker 1: Life is good. You expek bring you know, you bring

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Speaker 1: a kid into the world, and uh yeah, sure there's

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Speaker 1: plenty of ship to be uh depressed about. But you know,

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Speaker 1: hopefully one day you have a kid and they get

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Speaker 1: to drink some tea and hold a lady's hand and

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Speaker 1: walk down the street, and you know, it's pretty good.

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Speaker 1: That's worth it. That's worth it. So I don't know

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Speaker 1: what was I what was the point of this rant

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Speaker 1: that I'm going on right now. But yeah, it's true,

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Speaker 1: death is easy, but but you should do it. You

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Speaker 1: should do life. You should do it. You should do life.

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Speaker 1: You should opt out. I don't. I don't. Uh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I've thought I again the past three months, going insane.

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Speaker 1: I was like I was like, I want to opt out.

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Speaker 1: I want to you know, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: You know when I opt out, opt in, give it

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Speaker 1: a shot. You know. This is all I'm I'm I

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Speaker 1: drank too much coffee. This is all pointless rambling. But

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Speaker 1: this is I'm just speaking of my own thoughts. But

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Speaker 1: I don't want to do ayahuasca because I don't want

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Speaker 1: to be too I don't want to be too connected

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Speaker 1: to the universe in like crazy psychedelic ways. You can

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Speaker 1: be connected to the universe by going on a by

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Speaker 1: by drinking a glass of water and walking down the street,

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Speaker 1: you know, cod I don't want to. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to be too conscious. I don't want to get up

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Speaker 1: to some crazy level of whatever, whatever crazy level of

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Speaker 1: consciousness that ayahuasca is supposed to give you. I don't

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Speaker 1: want that. That sounds that sounds burdensome. I enjoy, uh,

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Speaker 1: I even enjoy being pissed off now that truly, like

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Speaker 1: after having a I've been thinking about, like after having

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Speaker 1: like a weird existential crisis, I actually enjoy now because

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Speaker 1: like the total opposite of consciousness is like, uh, when

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Speaker 1: you're like pissed off about something stupid, you know, what

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Speaker 1: I mean, Like, like if you're like, if you're at

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Speaker 1: a restaurant and you order coke and they only have

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Speaker 1: pepsi and you're like pissed off about it, You're doing

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Speaker 1: so great, you know what I mean. You're you're so

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Speaker 1: deeply connected to reality. Every time I find myself like

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Speaker 1: like I'm driving whatever, If I'm driving a car and

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Speaker 1: someone like uh cuts me off or something, and I'm

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Speaker 1: like pissed off, I'm like, oh shit, I'm that was

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Speaker 1: That's so oh crap, this is a background noise. Who cares?

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Speaker 1: All right, there's so what was I saying anything. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: every time I get pissed off about something stupid, I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is great. I missed this. I missed that. You're

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Speaker 1: so you're connected to reality in that moment that you're

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Speaker 1: just pissed off that someone cut you off in traffic.

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Speaker 1: You know. Okay, all right, let's keep going. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about. Here we go, all right?

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Speaker 1: This is from Subha subject line love is the point

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Speaker 1: of living? Right? What if I never love? Hello, my

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Speaker 1: dear friend Lyle. Ever since I can remember, I've thought

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Speaker 1: love was the whole point of life. Whenever I went

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Speaker 1: through a tough time, I would think, once I find

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Speaker 1: someone who truly loves me, all of this will be

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Speaker 1: worth it. And it's not like I thought highly of

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Speaker 1: myself or even felt like I deserved love. I was

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Speaker 1: a brown girl growing up in the South and Midwest

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Speaker 1: who couldn't understand how other girls could dream about their

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Speaker 1: wedding day, because how were they so sure someone would

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Speaker 1: ever love them enough to marry them. Hold on one second, Brandon,

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Speaker 1: I'm seeing if I I think my external microphone is

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Speaker 1: connected to this thing. Okay, it looks like it did.

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Speaker 1: Hold me, I'm gonna check real quick. Okay, hold on, Bradon,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna make it another Wait. Actually, I don't even

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Speaker 1: need do I need to do that? Okay, hold I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna make it. I'm gonna start a new recording. Okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, all right, let's hear into this. But through

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Speaker 1: times full of suicidal ideations, academic failures, and difficult familiar relationships,

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Speaker 1: I would dream of a love that would make it

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Speaker 1: all worth it. My first real love was complicated and

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Speaker 1: tense and honestly traumatic, and feeling that love did not

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Speaker 1: make me feel any more lovable, which was odd to me.

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Speaker 1: I'm still heavily emotionally attached to this person, but I

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Speaker 1: know I will get over them with time. It hurts

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Speaker 1: right now, but it's not unbearable. I just can't imagine

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Speaker 1: myself being in a relationship where I feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: actually worth the other person's love and affection. I know

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Speaker 1: people say you should love yourself and not seek external

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Speaker 1: validation from a significant other, but there's love you can

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Speaker 1: feel from another person that will never come from yourself

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Speaker 1: and makes you feel whole. Imagine someone deciding to live

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Speaker 1: with you through all your mundane moments. That's beautiful. How

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Speaker 1: do I get over feeling unlovable? The self racism and

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Speaker 1: learned feelings of hatred toward myself is so hard to undo.

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Speaker 1: Sorry for being so negative. Appreciate your work and I

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Speaker 1: hope you know your loved and listeners, I hope you

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Speaker 1: know your loved as well, And give me a second

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Speaker 1: to think about this, because I'm actually gonna try. I'm

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Speaker 1: really going to try to like pull from like a

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Speaker 1: little bit of my own experiences or thoughts with this shit,

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Speaker 1: because I have Okay, so in my I think I

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Speaker 1: think back like a lot on like my my in

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Speaker 1: my personal life, right I go through I've always gone

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Speaker 1: through I think like cycles. Well, like, I've had so

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Speaker 1: many cycles in my life where I'm just like, the

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Speaker 1: only fucking thing that I care about is finding a girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: It's like finding like all like you write everything you're saying, right,

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Speaker 1: like finding love, finding someone to have it like your

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Speaker 1: mandane moments with and I've gone through. I've got it's

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Speaker 1: it's for for me personally, it's been very cyclical where

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I need to find another person to complete me.

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Speaker 1: And and when I am in that cycle, you cannot

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Speaker 1: convince me otherwise. You know. I've been in cycles where

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Speaker 1: I'm like, there is no like you're fucking saying, there

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Speaker 1: is no external there is no like thing that can

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Speaker 1: come from me that will match the peace, uh and

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Speaker 1: the serenity of like of like love, in of like

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Speaker 1: romantic love. I mean that's why, I mean, that's why

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Speaker 1: every fucking song on the planet Earth was written about

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Speaker 1: this ship, you know, and I think it would be

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Speaker 1: and I don't know. By the way, just so you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't have advice on this, but this is just

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna ponder it. I don't have advice This

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Speaker 1: is not advice. This is just you bring you bring

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Speaker 1: up in interesting life conundrum and I'm thinking about my

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Speaker 1: personal experience and I'm pondering it with you right now.

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Speaker 1: So I don't have advice. But this is just my ponders,

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Speaker 1: you know how fun? What was I saying? Cycles? Yes,

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Speaker 1: I've been thereugh cycles, And then I've also emerged from

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Speaker 1: those cycles feeling the opposite way, where I'm like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I'm just gonna truly enjoy life. And

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Speaker 1: this is this is this is again, this is coming

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Speaker 1: from a I have genuinely felt, well on, I have

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Speaker 1: to sneeze. I have to sneeze. Let's keep this in.

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Speaker 1: This is important. Fuck hold on, fuck okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: we're keeping that in. What is it that I have

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Speaker 1: gone through cycles in my life where I genuinely felt

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Speaker 1: unconvinced you could not convince me otherwise that life was

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Speaker 1: worth living if you didn't have a significant other, you know,

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Speaker 1: And then I've I don't know how, but I've just just,

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Speaker 1: through time or whatever, just emerged from that into a

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Speaker 1: mode of existing where I'm like, you know, that would

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Speaker 1: be cool. It is undeniably a unique feeling and a

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Speaker 1: powerful feeling and a you know, important part of life.

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Speaker 1: Like you can't deny that, yes, no, because it bothers you, right,

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Speaker 1: bothers you when people are like, oh, you should love

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Speaker 1: yourself and this and that and the other thing. Because

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Speaker 1: when you're like in this email, when you're like, there's

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Speaker 1: nothing that compares to that, it's true. You're right that

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Speaker 1: there is that that kind of love and that kind

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Speaker 1: of thing. That's a that's a one of one experience,

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Speaker 1: undeniably so undeniably. So I think I think it's a

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Speaker 1: I think it's a lie to tell people that it's not.

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Speaker 1: But that doesn't mean that if you don't have it

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Speaker 1: right fucking now, that your life has to be ship,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And also, and you've probably

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you've been told this a billion times, whoever

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Speaker 1: wrote this email. It's paradoxical, right, because the more you

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Speaker 1: chase after it, the more people can people can smell desperation.

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Speaker 1: The more you you chase after that, the more that

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Speaker 1: it eludes you. That's a classic. It's a total classic.

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Speaker 1: And then you get into this uh contradictory state of

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Speaker 1: being where you want something so badly and everyone's telling

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Speaker 1: you that the only way to get this thing that

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Speaker 1: you want is to not want it, and then you

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Speaker 1: don't want it, and then it's easy. It's it's it's

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Speaker 1: a difficult thing to manage. Although I again, thinking back,

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Speaker 1: I'm just just from my own life when I've been

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Speaker 1: in the cycle of like, oh, all all that matters

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Speaker 1: in life is having a is having a girlfriend and

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Speaker 1: having this kind of love I have, Like I keep

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Speaker 1: I keep a journal. I keep a journal of like

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Speaker 1: my thoughts and feelings and stuff. And I've I look

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Speaker 1: back at some journals that I've written from those periods

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Speaker 1: of time where I was in that cycle where I

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Speaker 1: thought that that was all that mattered, and I was

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Speaker 1: and I was reading thoughts that I had during those cycles,

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Speaker 1: and I was like and I was like, this, fuck it.

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Speaker 1: Hold on my second, there's there's some background noise. We

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Speaker 1: can keep this, we can keep this in. Yeah, I forgot.

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Speaker 1: I was in a hotel. Am I'm probably screaming. I

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Speaker 1: don't think there's any I don't know if there's that

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Speaker 1: many other people staying at this hotel, So maybe it's okay.

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Speaker 1: It's also in the middle of the day, but I

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Speaker 1: guess that doesn't make it Okay, I don't think I'm screaming.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking loudly. Maybe I'm screaming a little bit. Was

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Speaker 1: I gonna say, Oh, yes, Okay. So I keep a

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Speaker 1: journal and I've written, I've read, I've reread like journal

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Speaker 1: entries that I've made from that time, and I've been

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Speaker 1: like this, and I've been like, this guy is not

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Speaker 1: healthy enough to even be in what he wants. You

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I'm like you, I'm I'm really

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Speaker 1: like I've been in again, like healthier states of mind

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Speaker 1: where I'm not in the in the state of mind

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Speaker 1: where I'm like, oh, this is all that matters, and

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Speaker 1: I'm kind of like I just like life. I'm just

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Speaker 1: feeling peaceful and happy on my own. And when I'm

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Speaker 1: in that state, I'll read journal entries that I wrote

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Speaker 1: when I wasn't in that state, when I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, obsessed with finding a relationship, and I'll be like, dude,

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Speaker 1: this is this is and I'm like it's and it'll

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Speaker 1: I'll just see so clearly that what everyone says about

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Speaker 1: how you need to not want it for it to

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Speaker 1: come to you or for you to even be you know,

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Speaker 1: truly eligible for it. It's true. This is true. So

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to do with that information. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what kind of advice is to be gleaned

395
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Speaker 1: from that observation. But yeah, how do you get out

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Speaker 1: of that cycle and into more of the cycle of like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I really genuinely feel peaceful on my own and also

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Speaker 1: the whole like I feel like it's a thing of like,

399
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Speaker 1: you know what, feeling peaceful on your own, and then

400
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 1: still you still have to make an effort. You know,

401
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,879
Speaker 1: you still got to, like fucking you know, go on

402
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Speaker 1: the dating apps or or go out to things and

403
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Speaker 1: talk to people. But if you do it from a

404
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Speaker 1: healthy place where you are, where you genuine you're not

405
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,679
Speaker 1: not bullshitting yourself, because we all can bullshit ourselves and

406
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Speaker 1: be like, I don't care what happens. I don't care

407
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Speaker 1: what happens to this day. I don't care if this

408
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 1: date goes well. But you're kind of lying to your

409
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Speaker 1: brain a little bit. You kind of do hope it

410
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,479
Speaker 1: goes well when when you feel like you're at a

411
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Speaker 1: mental point where you're like, I genuinely am okay with

412
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Speaker 1: however this turns out, I'm genuinely doing shit just to

413
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Speaker 1: meet people. That kind of is when I think things

414
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:18,199
Speaker 1: pop into place a little bit more, or even if

415
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:19,920
Speaker 1: it's not when things like pop into place a little

416
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Speaker 1: bit more, it's at least when things are like, you know,

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Speaker 1: healthy enough such that if they do, it's not crazy,

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Speaker 1: you know. I don't know if this rant makes any sense,

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Speaker 1: but I just I feel I've been I know what

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Speaker 1: this feels like, and I've been in cycles of feeling it,

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Speaker 1: in cycles of not and these are just kind of

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Speaker 1: my observations from the cycles. So whatever, Okay, So what

423
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 1: does it actually send this email? How do I get

424
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:59,679
Speaker 1: over feeling unlovable? Uh? How do you get over feeling

425
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 1: on loveable? I mean? Building self esteem? How does one

426
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:11,800
Speaker 1: build self esteem? Again, I don't know if I have advice.

427
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:16,479
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking about my own life and times when

428
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 1: I've had self esteem and times when I haven't self esteem.

429
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,560
Speaker 1: And again, for me, self esteem has been very it

430
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,359
Speaker 1: has been a very cyclical thing at times in my

431
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:26,800
Speaker 1: life where I've had a lot of self esteem and

432
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,000
Speaker 1: the times in my life where I have had very

433
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:35,240
Speaker 1: very very very low self esteem. And I've and I've

434
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 1: been in one cycle and when I when I'm in

435
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 1: the cycle. I'm like, I don't recognize it as a cycle.

436
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:43,679
Speaker 1: I recognize it as, oh, this is forever, you know.

437
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 1: But looking back, I'm like, what what? What? What moves

438
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:55,480
Speaker 1: me from one part of the cycle to another. I

439
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:58,200
Speaker 1: wish I had an answer to that, but I don't.

440
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:02,879
Speaker 1: In this very moment, I don't have a better answer

441
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:11,920
Speaker 1: to that other than medication and achieving things. Achieving things

442
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:16,720
Speaker 1: is good, but I guess it's achieving the right kind

443
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:22,200
Speaker 1: of things. Like feel like things that make you feel competent,

444
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 1: you know, I feel anytime I feel like when I

445
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 1: feel as though I am providing evidence to myself through

446
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 1: competent actions that I am getting smarter, or I am

447
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 1: like being more confident being being more competent, I feel

448
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,240
Speaker 1: more confident. Like you need you need to provide yourself

449
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 1: with data. You need to like provide yourself with data,

450
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 1: you know. I don't think you can like meditate yourself

451
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 1: into self esteem, although maybe you can. I don't. I'm

452
00:28:55,280 --> 00:29:00,240
Speaker 1: just I'm just speaking from my own personal experience. Maybe

453
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 1: you can meditate yourself into self esteem? You can't. Yeah

454
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 1: you can, I think you I think you can. I

455
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 1: think you can. I think you can. For some people,

456
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know. Everyone's fucking different. Some people

457
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 1: need like, uh like empirical external evidence for themselves that

458
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 1: they are a competent, worthy human being. And I'm definitely

459
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 1: a little at least at least fifty percent of a

460
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 1: person like that. And then the other fifty percent is

461
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 1: you meditate yourself into being like I. I the fact

462
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:38,240
Speaker 1: that I exist as a human being gives me inherent value.

463
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:41,880
Speaker 1: Again for me, it's a yin yang thing. Those things

464
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 1: work together. But yeah, I hope this was I hope

465
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 1: this rant made sense. This. I like this email. This

466
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 1: gave me a lot to kind of think about. But also,

467
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 1: I don't know how old is this person I'm trying

468
00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 1: to It doesn't really, it doesn't really say in this message. Right,

469
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 1: there's it because there's another thing of the times of

470
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 1: academic failures. Okay, I guess you're fairly young, because there's

471
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:17,960
Speaker 1: another thing of like, yes, being I think being in

472
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:25,480
Speaker 1: a healthy, loving relationship. No doubt, everyone's different, but I

473
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 1: think most people would probably say that that's that's better

474
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 1: than being alone. I think people are kind of probably

475
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:35,600
Speaker 1: bullshitting if they say it's not, But at least for them,

476
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:39,360
Speaker 1: I don't know, all this stuff is very personal. But

477
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 1: just because you can't, just because you recognize that it

478
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 1: does help make you whole and it is a big

479
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 1: life thing and you don't have it, that doesn't have

480
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:52,800
Speaker 1: to make you feel like shit, because you can just

481
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 1: be like, look, I don't have this right now. It's

482
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:59,800
Speaker 1: not a part of my life right now, and that's fine,

483
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,880
Speaker 1: but it doesn't You don't have to condemn just because

484
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 1: it's not part of your life right now. It doesn't

485
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 1: mean you have to condemn yourself to being unlovable for

486
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 1: the rest of your life, you know. All right, let's

487
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 1: keep going. I hope you're doing okay. Oh they signed

488
00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 1: their email Molly. I hope you're doing all right, Molly, okay,

489
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 1: all right. This is from uh Brianna. Subject line am

490
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 1: I crazy. Ooh it's an exciting subject line. Hi gek,

491
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,520
Speaker 1: you can give me a name. So to make a

492
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 1: long story short, I traveled through the US for about

493
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 1: three months January through April, just exploring and visiting national parks,

494
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 1: and then I went back to Canada to seek healthcare

495
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 1: and just ended up staying in Canada and going back

496
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 1: to the seasonal work I usually do. Due to some circumstances.

497
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 1: I ended up being depressed for the whole month I

498
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 1: was back. I decided I wanted to leave, packed my car,

499
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:10,280
Speaker 1: which is built to live out of, and left. The

500
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 1: next day, I quit the job I had and headed

501
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 1: for the border. I tried to enter through Detroit. They

502
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 1: took me aside, questioned me, took my finger. What the fuck?

503
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 1: They took your finger? That has to be a typo,

504
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 1: and searched my car. They sent me back to Canada.

505
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 1: I entered the next day after showing them a ton

506
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 1: of paperwork that proves ties to Canada. Kind of a

507
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 1: crazy experience because Canada and the US have a tourism

508
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 1: agreement for their citizens. Anyway, I'm crossing the border from

509
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:49,360
Speaker 1: Montana into Alberta today in search of work somewhere in

510
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 1: Banef for the summer. This was a pretty impulsive and

511
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:56,560
Speaker 1: spontaneous decision, but it doesn't make sense to stay somewhere.

512
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,320
Speaker 1: I'm unhappy. I've had so many people ask how I

513
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 1: can travel and do what I want. There are no

514
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 1: rules to life. We all have free will and can

515
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 1: do whatever our hearts desire. I'm not following a conventional lifestyle,

516
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:14,400
Speaker 1: and I'm not sure I ever will. For context, I'm

517
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 1: nineteen and graduated a year ago. I crave new experiences

518
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 1: and adventures. I'm so content being an uneducated hippie. Living

519
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 1: life to the fullest is what makes you rich, not

520
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 1: that degree or six figure job. To anyone who wants

521
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 1: to get out there, just to do it, it's scary

522
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 1: to take the leap, but regret is scarier. You only

523
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 1: live once. Brianna. Uh interesting, Okay, Well, I have a

524
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:51,600
Speaker 1: few thoughts about this, right because I think, no offense

525
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 1: to Brianna, but I think like going, okay, going like

526
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 1: full if you like going full send, we all have

527
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:08,320
Speaker 1: free will, and you know, get out there and whatever.

528
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 1: Whatever to me is it's a little ignorant in the sense,

529
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:16,320
Speaker 1: no offense to Brianna. But I'm just gonna I'm just

530
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:19,400
Speaker 1: gonna speak from myself because I actually I do agree

531
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:24,719
Speaker 1: with a lot of this ship. But also also it

532
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:28,440
Speaker 1: also costs money to exist on the earth. And so

533
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:33,480
Speaker 1: I remember there there's this like viral Instagram post that

534
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 1: this this lady made. I don't know if you guys

535
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,960
Speaker 1: have seen it, where she's like she's like in a

536
00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 1: on a beach in Thailand and she's like, what is.

537
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,919
Speaker 1: She say she's and she's like panning the camera around

538
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,759
Speaker 1: and she's like, this could be you on a Thursday.

539
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:54,759
Speaker 1: All you have to do is book a flight. What

540
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 1: are you doing? You have free will? All you have

541
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 1: to do is book a flight. And that that that

542
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 1: clip goes ill because everyone fucking what's the word? What's

543
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 1: the word? When it's a TikTok, everyone stitches it. Everyone

544
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 1: stitches it with them being like, you know how the

545
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 1: flights cost money? You know, it's not you can't just

546
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:23,359
Speaker 1: you can. There's there's a lot of like okay, saying like, uh,

547
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:25,720
Speaker 1: get out there, do whatever you want. You have free will.

548
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:29,920
Speaker 1: Come there is an asterix. There's an asterix on It

549
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:34,279
Speaker 1: doesn't make it not true, doesn't mean we should throw

550
00:35:34,360 --> 00:35:38,239
Speaker 1: out the whole sentiment. In fact, it's actually I think

551
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:43,080
Speaker 1: it's a good sentiment, but it does come with an asterix,

552
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 1: you know. So it's like, I don't know, I'm trying

553
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 1: to think what I what I actually want to say

554
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 1: about this. I'm cure I'd like to talk to this

555
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,759
Speaker 1: person because I'm curious, like how do they do it?

556
00:35:53,440 --> 00:36:00,920
Speaker 1: You know? My understanding of this how this person does

557
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 1: it is okay, Well, Okay, so she so she's I

558
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 1: think this person is Canadian, right, They're born in Canada,

559
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 1: so they're free health care. That's pretty cool. And then

560
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 1: they do seasonal work. So my understanding of how it

561
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:26,080
Speaker 1: logistically works with this person is she probably spends three

562
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 1: months doing her seasonal shit and saving and then and

563
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,880
Speaker 1: I don't know how she saves, right, Like there's a

564
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 1: lot of I like, what's in the asterisk of this

565
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 1: because I do I think, because usually I think it

566
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 1: is both. I think it is simultaneously ignorant to be like,

567
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 1: go out and travel and do whatever you want, as

568
00:36:56,680 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 1: well as it being ignorant to say you can't do

569
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:04,279
Speaker 1: this because of X, Y and Z, Right, Like, there's

570
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:07,279
Speaker 1: a middle ground where we can go like, Okay, here's

571
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:11,719
Speaker 1: a logistic way that you can figure out how to

572
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 1: do this shit, right, And so I'm trying to figure

573
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:16,760
Speaker 1: out how the logistics work for this person. She probably

574
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,439
Speaker 1: does like some kind of seasonal work and it saves

575
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 1: up a bunch of money. I don't know if she

576
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:23,959
Speaker 1: saves the money. I don't know where she sleeps right

577
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 1: while she's doing the work. I don't know what she

578
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 1: eats while she's doing the work. Maybe she lives with

579
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 1: her folks. Maybe she lives with her folks while she's

580
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:37,239
Speaker 1: in Canada. Maybe she lives with fucking six roommates or

581
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:39,840
Speaker 1: something like that and just saves up all the money

582
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 1: and then uses it to travel through the US for

583
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 1: three months. And then because she's in Canada, she got

584
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 1: health care. She figured it out, she had, you know,

585
00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:00,839
Speaker 1: she was she You know, you're born, and you get

586
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,640
Speaker 1: certain you have certain nice things that come with your

587
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 1: life if you're lucky, like you know, being in a

588
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:09,319
Speaker 1: place that is free healthcare or having parents that can

589
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:14,160
Speaker 1: let you stay at their place, and you figure it out.

590
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:20,840
Speaker 1: So I don't know, I get there's there's something in between.

591
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:23,120
Speaker 1: I don't like this. I don't like the people make

592
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:29,760
Speaker 1: it like a in either or right, Like the people

593
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 1: are the people on the one side of the of

594
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 1: the Instagram thing where that lady is like, hey, just

595
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 1: book a flight. You know this could be you on

596
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 1: Thursday in Thailand. Right, It's like there's an asterisk there,

597
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,359
Speaker 1: and then on the other some people stitching at being

598
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:52,160
Speaker 1: like you cannot do anything because everything is unbearably expensive

599
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 1: and there's no possible way to do any of this.

600
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,319
Speaker 1: Ship there's an asterisk there too. Right, It's like we

601
00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:03,799
Speaker 1: can get logistical on how to do cool shit. But yeah,

602
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:06,040
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, I'm curious for how this person

603
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 1: does it. But yeah, I would reorient I would. I

604
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:19,319
Speaker 1: would reframe this person's message and I would go I

605
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,879
Speaker 1: agree that living life to the fullest is what makes

606
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 1: you rich. That's what she said. I agree that there

607
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:35,759
Speaker 1: there is How would I reframe this? Get out there

608
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:38,160
Speaker 1: and just do it? Like I guess, I would reframe

609
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:46,040
Speaker 1: it as like, fully assess whatever your situation is and

610
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:50,359
Speaker 1: then use whatever resources are at your disposal, i e.

611
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 1: The Internet, i e. Living with more roommates, i e.

612
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,319
Speaker 1: Whatever whatever it is is man to like figure it out.

613
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 1: And a lot of this shit, I do think there

614
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:06,720
Speaker 1: are a lot of people who want to do things

615
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 1: that they've decided they can't that if they prodded a

616
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:18,319
Speaker 1: little bit, are are figure outable. But yeah, I don't know.

617
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:22,160
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on in Canada. That's crazy,

618
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:29,120
Speaker 1: that's cool. You have free healthcare. All right, let's keep going. Okay,

619
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:33,720
Speaker 1: This is from Isaac subject line hands free for Life.

620
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:37,560
Speaker 1: Isaac says, Hello, I was on your show once when

621
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,560
Speaker 1: you had a therapist that wore glasses on. I forgot

622
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 1: his name. He was cool, though, what is that a

623
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:45,840
Speaker 1: I think he's talking about doctor Dre, not doctor not

624
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:49,719
Speaker 1: fucking doctor Dre, doctor Drew. Anyways, I wanted to give

625
00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:52,200
Speaker 1: you an update since I had taken your advice to

626
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 1: buy a fleshlight. This is what happens when you do

627
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:58,839
Speaker 1: a podcast for five years. Just somebody says, you get

628
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:02,399
Speaker 1: an email. You get an email from a guy who's like, hey,

629
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:04,520
Speaker 1: remember three years ago you told me to buy a

630
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 1: flash light, And I'm like, I don't remember that, but

631
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:10,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, what else? What else have I said that

632
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 1: I don't even fucking remember. Well, good, I'm glad you

633
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 1: bought the flesh light. I've never tried. I've actually never

634
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:26,000
Speaker 1: used a real fleshlight. I've used a what I call

635
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 1: it a maguiver flesh light. It's when you take a

636
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:30,839
Speaker 1: pringles can. I've talked about this before, I'll do it again.

637
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:34,600
Speaker 1: So you take a pringles can and a rubber glove

638
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:37,880
Speaker 1: and two sponges and you use that to do a

639
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:43,760
Speaker 1: homemade mcgiverd fleshlight. But I've never actually tried the real thing. Okay.

640
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:45,880
Speaker 1: I wanted to give you an update since I had

641
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:47,879
Speaker 1: taken your advice to buy a flesh light, and I'm

642
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 1: doing much better now. I have a lot of wisdom

643
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:54,759
Speaker 1: for anyone that may be in my position currently. What

644
00:41:56,080 --> 00:42:01,799
Speaker 1: is your position that you have a flashlight? What is

645
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:06,400
Speaker 1: this email? Bullet points A high Q, A sneeze of

646
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:11,080
Speaker 1: knowledge if you will be on the shiny Okay, I

647
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 1: don't think this person understood. I don't think this person

648
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 1: understood the point of the email. That's okay, who cares?

649
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 1: Who gives a shit? I hope you. I hope you're

650
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 1: enjoying your flesh light, Isaac. Good luck, good luck, sir.

651
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 1: I hope, I hope. Yeah, I hope you're enjoying your flashlight.

652
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 1: Thank you, Isaac, thank you, thank you for sending me

653
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:42,000
Speaker 1: this email. All right, this is from Jacob, subject line

654
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:46,480
Speaker 1: Exchange in Baltimore. Hi, Lyle, hope you're doing well. I'm

655
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:49,839
Speaker 1: a student from the UK about to do an exchange

656
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:54,480
Speaker 1: semester at MICA in Baltimore. I know you grew up

657
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 1: there and was wondering if you had any advice slash

658
00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:59,680
Speaker 1: tips for a living there for four months and if

659
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 1: you have any favorite spots to check out I'd love

660
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 1: to hear thanks and have a lovely day. All right.

661
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,480
Speaker 1: Who's ready for the Who's ready for the to get

662
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 1: to get super niche here? Who's ready to learn about

663
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:19,919
Speaker 1: the great city of Baltimore and Maryland. Uh, Mike is sick.

664
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 1: You have a great time. Mike is a cool place.

665
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:25,919
Speaker 1: I've never been there, but I I when you drive

666
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 1: into Baltimore, you like see the outside of it, and

667
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:31,640
Speaker 1: it's the cool. It's like a cool, artsy place. You're

668
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 1: definitely gonna yeah. Oh and you're also I don't know

669
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:38,680
Speaker 1: something about like being at like Micah and you have

670
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 1: like a British accent. Yeah, everyone's gonna love you. Yeah,

671
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:46,360
Speaker 1: you're gonna you're gonna have a great time. Go to

672
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:50,880
Speaker 1: go to go to some fucking crusty punk shows in basements.

673
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's so. I don't know much

674
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 1: about like the Baltimore scene, but I know that there

675
00:43:56,719 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 1: are there's a lot of like, uh, punk shows at

676
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,719
Speaker 1: bars for like ten bucks and shit like that. Go

677
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:07,279
Speaker 1: check that shut out. Uh. There's a museum I love

678
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:12,640
Speaker 1: in Baltimore, shout out to the American Visionary Art Museum.

679
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:16,959
Speaker 1: It's it's a lot of like uh, crazy art from

680
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:22,960
Speaker 1: sort of like fringe artists who who who weren't like

681
00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:24,960
Speaker 1: famous or anything. They're just like living on the street

682
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:31,920
Speaker 1: and ship. Check that out. Anything else is Baltimore, I

683
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:38,240
Speaker 1: don't know. It's a cool place. Yeah, go go go

684
00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:39,600
Speaker 1: go to some I'm gonna go to some of those

685
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:46,920
Speaker 1: house shows if that's if that still exists. Okay, all right.

686
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:51,120
Speaker 1: This is from a bridgid subject line A weed farm

687
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:54,239
Speaker 1: and a dream. Hello, Lyle, thank you so much for

688
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:57,480
Speaker 1: opening up your email line to us writers. I'm also

689
00:44:57,520 --> 00:45:00,160
Speaker 1: a speaker, but have never been lucky enough to be

690
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,719
Speaker 1: connected to you. During one of my many calls into

691
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:07,440
Speaker 1: the show, I writer in. I don't know why this.

692
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 1: I don't know why I'm getting tripped up by this,

693
00:45:09,719 --> 00:45:12,719
Speaker 1: but thank you. Okay. I've been listening to the show

694
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:15,359
Speaker 1: since twenty twenty one, and the situation I was in

695
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 1: when I started tuning in was quite unique. In November

696
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:21,840
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one, I was twenty three. I just dropped

697
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 1: everything in Massachusetts to live for three months on a

698
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:30,000
Speaker 1: weed farm in Trinity, California, Trinity County, California. I was

699
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:32,400
Speaker 1: low key scammed into going by a friend of a

700
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:35,560
Speaker 1: friend that claimed I would make ten thousand dollars in

701
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:39,760
Speaker 1: five weeks from trimming cannabis. You don't get out. Here's

702
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:41,759
Speaker 1: here's the thing. Don't feel bad about you don't get

703
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:45,799
Speaker 1: You don't get out of life for free, especially if

704
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 1: you're like if you're a schemer, and I myself when

705
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:53,759
Speaker 1: I was, when I was young and still today a

706
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 1: big schemer, where I'm like, how do I how do

707
00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 1: I how do I fucking like know, uh not have

708
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:04,960
Speaker 1: to work a real job? You know, when you're when

709
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:08,160
Speaker 1: you're tinkering around, you get, you get ski you get

710
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:10,400
Speaker 1: when you're when you're in big like, oh my god,

711
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 1: I'm going to have to work a real job. And

712
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:15,359
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that. You start scheming, you're

713
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:18,680
Speaker 1: you get, you get scammed, You get scammed into shit

714
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:22,319
Speaker 1: like this. So there was no there was no shame

715
00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 1: in that. The unfortunate reality is I definitely lost more

716
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:28,359
Speaker 1: money than I made. I probably spent upwards of six

717
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 1: thousand dollars living in San Francisco for three weeks and

718
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 1: doing my coast to coast road trip. When all was

719
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 1: said and done at the farm, I made around five

720
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:39,479
Speaker 1: thousand dollars between trimming and annual work and hourly work.

721
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:42,480
Speaker 1: I don't regret it, but I also wouldn't recommend it

722
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:44,880
Speaker 1: to anyone personally. I was really lucky to have a

723
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:47,239
Speaker 1: solid support system in this endeavor that I could go

724
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:51,840
Speaker 1: back to my apartment in Massachusetts when the season was over,

725
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 1: and therapy Gecko was most of what I listened to

726
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 1: while trimming. It brought us smile to my face, my

727
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:58,800
Speaker 1: face when all I was looking at or white walls

728
00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:01,439
Speaker 1: and massive amounts of wee for ten to twelve hours

729
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:04,960
Speaker 1: a day. Uh. Pros of living on a weed farm

730
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 1: unlimited weed. Air is fresh and beautiful. Cons of living

731
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:16,280
Speaker 1: on a weed farm unlimited weed definitely isolating. Gotta sleep

732
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:21,080
Speaker 1: in your car, the sink bucket, no days off, twelve

733
00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:25,640
Speaker 1: hour days, and did I mention isolating? I love you, Lyle,

734
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:27,920
Speaker 1: thanks so much for your attention and care best Bridget,

735
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 1: Thank you, Bridget. It's very sweet of you to say, yeah, no,

736
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:35,319
Speaker 1: look here's the thing we've all again. Like I was

737
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 1: just saying, when you're when you're when you're trying to

738
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:41,520
Speaker 1: not when your options are like all right, cool, I

739
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:46,799
Speaker 1: could go work at some fucking thing and make some

740
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:49,879
Speaker 1: fucking whatever, you know, and then your friend is like, Hey,

741
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:53,800
Speaker 1: you can make ten dollars in five weeks trimming cannabis.

742
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 1: Of course you're gonna be like, that sounds right. Of course,

743
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:02,359
Speaker 1: why would you not be like, why would you question that?

744
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 1: Sometimes you don't want to ask questions because you just

745
00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:07,719
Speaker 1: want it to be real. So of course you're gonna

746
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 1: go and do that. So, yeah, you're not getting out

747
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:14,840
Speaker 1: of if you're if you're a schemer, if you're if

748
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:17,880
Speaker 1: you're scheming around trying to figure out how to not

749
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:21,800
Speaker 1: have to fucking be a real human being, you're you're

750
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:25,360
Speaker 1: gonna get nicked every now and then by by somebody

751
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:29,920
Speaker 1: else who's who's scheming. So you know, charge it to

752
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:38,080
Speaker 1: the game, as they say, Uh okay. This is from Nicholas. Hello, Lyle,

753
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:42,520
Speaker 1: my name is Nick. I recently turned nineteen. I've noticed

754
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:46,680
Speaker 1: how your mood during your recent podcast episodes have has

755
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:51,360
Speaker 1: seemingly fluctuated from being depressed to perhaps being more content

756
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 1: with being depressed. As you've said many times, you've been

757
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:58,120
Speaker 1: thinking of life very deeply and existentially as of recent

758
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:00,920
Speaker 1: which I very much relate to a strong sense of

759
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:04,960
Speaker 1: introspection and existentialism in these past few weeks. Typically this

760
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:08,319
Speaker 1: is accompanied by a strong negative feeling, But this time

761
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:11,040
Speaker 1: I feel more content with it. I don't know how

762
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:13,400
Speaker 1: to feel about that. I guess I feel good that

763
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:15,839
Speaker 1: I'm starting to accept that life is what it is,

764
00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:20,600
Speaker 1: that most of it simply consists of grueling obstacles to overcome.

765
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:23,239
Speaker 1: You've impacted me so much mentally over the past four

766
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:25,400
Speaker 1: years with how honest and expressive you've been about how

767
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:28,320
Speaker 1: you've been feeling and what you believe. It's really inspiring

768
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:30,600
Speaker 1: and it's made me gain a more realistic and understanding

769
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:33,640
Speaker 1: mindset that I quite enjoyed. Thank you, Nicholas. I like

770
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 1: how the YouTube video you. I liked the YouTube video

771
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:38,040
Speaker 1: you posted the other day about your crisis in Japan.

772
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:39,879
Speaker 1: You should do more of those. That's why I am

773
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:45,880
Speaker 1: in a windowless room in Tijuana. Here's a Minecraft building

774
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:49,560
Speaker 1: of you. Oh shit, that's awesome. Look at that. Look

775
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 1: at that. Okay you're not gonna be able to see

776
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:53,280
Speaker 1: this in the audio version, but for the video folks,

777
00:49:53,320 --> 00:50:00,160
Speaker 1: check that shit out. That's pretty cool. Okay. Where what

778
00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:05,760
Speaker 1: was I gonna say about this person? Bro? You're nineteen. Man,

779
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 1: You've started to accept that life is what it is,

780
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:15,000
Speaker 1: that it simply consists of grueling obstacles to overcome. Oh fuck,

781
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:17,239
Speaker 1: I want to go on a motivational ramp, but I

782
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:19,360
Speaker 1: also don't because I don't know this person's life. I

783
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 1: don't know what. I don't know what. I don't know

784
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:26,280
Speaker 1: what ignorance will will be woven into my my fucking

785
00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:30,319
Speaker 1: stupid rant. But I don't know. Man, I hope you

786
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:34,920
Speaker 1: fucking I hope you open your mind to the potential

787
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:37,840
Speaker 1: that life is more than just grueling obstacles to overcome

788
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:40,799
Speaker 1: or or I don't know. I don't know if it's

789
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 1: it's already just then I'm like, is that ignorant? My

790
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:49,040
Speaker 1: being ignorant? I don't know. I hope your life gets better.

791
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:50,919
Speaker 1: I don't know. Is this I don't know. You sent

792
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:57,319
Speaker 1: me a fucking giant Minecraft gecko. That's life. You know

793
00:50:57,640 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 1: this is really good? Actually, I'm like, actually looking at

794
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:07,839
Speaker 1: this sometimes life is playing Minecraft's That's good, right, God

795
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 1: damn keep chucking Nicholas. Okay, this is from Brennan. Hey, Lyle,

796
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:19,239
Speaker 1: thanks for being the voice that keeps me company on

797
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:22,040
Speaker 1: my commute. You had a soothing presence to stressful workdays.

798
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:24,279
Speaker 1: Thank you. I wanted to know if you ever tried

799
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:29,919
Speaker 1: going to Nintendo themed groups to find friends or more

800
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:34,040
Speaker 1: than friends parentheses, if you know what I mean, and

801
00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:37,960
Speaker 1: if there are such groups near you. Also, what is

802
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:44,879
Speaker 1: your favorite food slash snack when you're high? Oh crap,

803
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 1: I don't know if that okay? All right? I hope

804
00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 1: to visit New York again soon and I'll be on

805
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:55,880
Speaker 1: the lookout for Gecko man Farewell Gek Nintendo themed groups.

806
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:58,600
Speaker 1: I have never I don't know if. I don't know

807
00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:05,360
Speaker 1: if that exists. I don't know if that exists. Wait, actually,

808
00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 1: hold on, I'm a total idiot. I go to Nintendo groups.

809
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:09,920
Speaker 1: I wait, I'm actually a total idiot. I actually go

810
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:15,920
Speaker 1: to Nintendo themed groups all the time because I play

811
00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:20,600
Speaker 1: competitive Super Smash Bros. Melee, which is a Nintendo It's

812
00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:22,640
Speaker 1: so funny. I was looking at your email, like what

813
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:25,279
Speaker 1: the fuck is a Nintendo themed group, and then now

814
00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that's been a part of my life

815
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:32,520
Speaker 1: for like eleven years. Now go into fucking smash tournaments. Yeah, bro,

816
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:34,480
Speaker 1: go to some Smash Bros Tournaments. I mean, I'm a

817
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:38,759
Speaker 1: big melee guy, but uh, and the melee scene is

818
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:44,279
Speaker 1: not as big in as like Ultimate But yeah, dude,

819
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 1: go to go to some ultimate tournaments, have some fun.

820
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:50,919
Speaker 1: That is a huge way that people make friends, right,

821
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:54,360
Speaker 1: because what is friendship really? You know, It's just like

822
00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:56,879
Speaker 1: the reason why we make less friends as we get

823
00:52:56,880 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 1: older is because friendship is just like shoving. Friendship is

824
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:06,919
Speaker 1: just fucking repeated interactions with the same people, and when

825
00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:10,839
Speaker 1: you are an adult, you have less of that as

826
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:13,560
Speaker 1: you did when you were in college and high school.

827
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:18,120
Speaker 1: So look, man, if you go to a fucking ultimate

828
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:23,719
Speaker 1: tournament once a week for several weeks, you'll probably start

829
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:27,360
Speaker 1: seeing the same people and making friends. And yeah, I

830
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:29,360
Speaker 1: don't know. Maybe then I don't I don't know what

831
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 1: your game is. Maybe you could start a fucking circle

832
00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:35,240
Speaker 1: where you guys all go to your each other's animal

833
00:53:35,280 --> 00:53:40,640
Speaker 1: crossing islands. What is your favorite food slash snack when

834
00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:43,080
Speaker 1: you're high Lately it's an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's,

835
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:47,520
Speaker 1: or like a or like a dollar slice of pizza

836
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:53,920
Speaker 1: that hit rocks. Okay, okay, all right. This is from

837
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:59,520
Speaker 1: a Trinity subject line post relationship guilt. Hey, GEK, my

838
00:53:59,560 --> 00:54:02,360
Speaker 1: boyfriend and I have been together for almost six months,

839
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:06,240
Speaker 1: but I constantly grapple with the guilt of my past

840
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:11,440
Speaker 1: relationship with his best friend and coworker. We dated for

841
00:54:11,560 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 1: three years and ultimately his best friend broke up with

842
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 1: me over four years ago. While I have no feelings

843
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:21,239
Speaker 1: for his best friend and I'm wholeheartedly committed to my

844
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:24,160
Speaker 1: boyfriend and believe we should have been together all along,

845
00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:26,920
Speaker 1: I can't help but feel I made a mistake and

846
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:30,279
Speaker 1: I feel guilty that I dated as best friend. My

847
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:33,279
Speaker 1: boyfriend has never once made me feel bad for this

848
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:36,799
Speaker 1: or blames me. What do I do to get over

849
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 1: this feeling of guilt and that it will prevent us

850
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:47,239
Speaker 1: from getting more serious down the road? Ooh interesting? I

851
00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:50,560
Speaker 1: mean I got a couple. Okay, So all right, so

852
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:55,319
Speaker 1: you dated this guy's friend before you dated him, I'm

853
00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:59,640
Speaker 1: gonna guess that you guys were all kind of in

854
00:54:59,719 --> 00:55:04,799
Speaker 1: the same circle and group and whatnot, and that's how

855
00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:07,239
Speaker 1: you know your current boyfriend and your ex boyfriend who's

856
00:55:07,239 --> 00:55:11,319
Speaker 1: the friend of blah blah blah. I mean, dude, did

857
00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:14,560
Speaker 1: this guy you're his first? Of all? Okay, his friend

858
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:18,600
Speaker 1: broke up with you, right, here's his friend broke up

859
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:22,920
Speaker 1: with you four years ago, and you started dating this

860
00:55:23,040 --> 00:55:31,279
Speaker 1: get your current boyfriend only six months ago. Listen, Trinity, this,

861
00:55:31,560 --> 00:55:34,600
Speaker 1: I I don't here's the thing, Trindy, if it because okay,

862
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:39,200
Speaker 1: if you were dating his best friend, right and then

863
00:55:39,239 --> 00:55:45,400
Speaker 1: you broke up with him to be with his friend,

864
00:55:46,239 --> 00:55:48,160
Speaker 1: I could see why you would feel guilty about that.

865
00:55:48,239 --> 00:55:50,799
Speaker 1: I could see why, you know, you could that would

866
00:55:50,840 --> 00:55:53,480
Speaker 1: make you feel bad. But like this is that's this

867
00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:57,840
Speaker 1: is a little bit not that like the timeline for this.

868
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 1: I feel like you don't need to be guilty about it.

869
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:06,400
Speaker 1: I mean, god, damn you guys, you guys fucking is

870
00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:11,319
Speaker 1: he still friends with the dude? I don't know. This

871
00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:13,520
Speaker 1: just seems like this just seems like the game. You know,

872
00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 1: this just seems like how it came out. This by

873
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:17,520
Speaker 1: the by that when I said this seems like the game.

874
00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:20,799
Speaker 1: It just is like this, this is what happened. You know,

875
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:25,239
Speaker 1: this is the game of life, right, I mean, why

876
00:56:25,760 --> 00:56:32,279
Speaker 1: you guys fucking broke up four years ago? It was

877
00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:34,080
Speaker 1: three and a half. It had been three and a

878
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:38,680
Speaker 1: half years since his friend broke up with you. I

879
00:56:38,719 --> 00:56:40,839
Speaker 1: think I think, I think you're in the clear if

880
00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:46,840
Speaker 1: you and his friend have a connection. It's like I

881
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:48,719
Speaker 1: think you're fine, dude. I mean again, it would be

882
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:51,200
Speaker 1: it would be a different situation. If if you broke

883
00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:53,360
Speaker 1: up with the friend and then immediately you started dating,

884
00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:57,000
Speaker 1: you started dating your current boyfriend, that makes a lot

885
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:58,880
Speaker 1: of sense. I you know, get why you would feel guilty,

886
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:05,080
Speaker 1: but like the timeline with this, I don't think. I don't.

887
00:57:05,120 --> 00:57:10,359
Speaker 1: I don't see why you're letting this prevent you from

888
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:13,560
Speaker 1: getting more serious down the road, you know. I mean,

889
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:16,280
Speaker 1: three and a half years is a pretty fucking long

890
00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:21,120
Speaker 1: time since you dated his friend. Are you guys all

891
00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:22,800
Speaker 1: I have more questions about this. I'm curing. Are you

892
00:57:22,840 --> 00:57:33,600
Speaker 1: guys all in a in like a like a friend group? Still? Yeah,

893
00:57:33,720 --> 00:57:36,360
Speaker 1: I think I've at least at least in my opinion,

894
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:39,800
Speaker 1: I think the timeline of this absolves you from guilt.

895
00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:42,080
Speaker 1: I mean, but also especially because like if he broke

896
00:57:42,160 --> 00:57:45,080
Speaker 1: up with you. Yeah, I don't, I don't. I think

897
00:57:45,080 --> 00:57:52,320
Speaker 1: you're over thinking this. Trinity Okay, this is from Sean

898
00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:59,040
Speaker 1: subject line Trees experience time differently. Hello from New Zealand, Gek.

899
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:01,600
Speaker 1: I was out in the bush with my mates and

900
00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:04,560
Speaker 1: we were talking about the universe and things, as you do.

901
00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:09,520
Speaker 1: I brought up how trees experience time differently compared to us,

902
00:58:10,160 --> 00:58:12,920
Speaker 1: like from our perspective, the trees are growing very slowly,

903
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:15,800
Speaker 1: yet to the trees, they're shooting up fast and their

904
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:20,320
Speaker 1: roots are wiggling around underground like tentacle arms. We see

905
00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:23,880
Speaker 1: them as really slow, yet they see us going fast.

906
00:58:24,360 --> 00:58:28,560
Speaker 1: One of my bros said, trees aren't conscious beings, therefore

907
00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:31,480
Speaker 1: they don't have a concept of time, so you're wrong,

908
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 1: And we argued for like ten minutes about it, and

909
00:58:34,680 --> 00:58:37,240
Speaker 1: it got nowhere. Is this just a bunch of yapping

910
00:58:37,360 --> 00:58:40,000
Speaker 1: or is there solidity to this? I'm keen to hear

911
00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:44,880
Speaker 1: your thoughts. Ps. I wear the full gecko suit during sex. Okay,

912
00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:47,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna reread this cause I'm trying to understand what

913
00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:51,240
Speaker 1: your position is on this. Okay, so you're bringing Okay,

914
00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:54,160
Speaker 1: so you're saying the trees experience time differently, and your

915
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:56,960
Speaker 1: boys like, trees aren't conscious beings, therefore they don't have

916
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:00,720
Speaker 1: a concept of time, so you're wrong. What is my

917
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:05,880
Speaker 1: opinion on this? I'm gonna I'm actually I feel there's

918
00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:10,720
Speaker 1: probably some motherfucker who like can scientifically explain whether or

919
00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:15,560
Speaker 1: not trees are conscious. But you know what, what what good?

920
00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:18,160
Speaker 1: What good is is arguing with the boys when you

921
00:59:18,160 --> 00:59:21,200
Speaker 1: try to bring science into it. All science does is

922
00:59:21,280 --> 00:59:25,040
Speaker 1: make arguing with the boys not fun. So let's keep

923
00:59:25,080 --> 00:59:28,560
Speaker 1: science out of this one. Huh, are tree? I agree

924
00:59:28,560 --> 00:59:31,240
Speaker 1: with your homide. I think trees aren't conscious. I don't

925
00:59:31,240 --> 00:59:36,320
Speaker 1: think trees have a concept of time. I think human

926
00:59:36,360 --> 00:59:40,200
Speaker 1: being this is, this is this is like human beings

927
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:47,640
Speaker 1: are conscious. We have we have like our own uh

928
00:59:47,760 --> 00:59:51,320
Speaker 1: privileges of consciousness as humans that trees don't have. I mean,

929
00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:53,880
Speaker 1: some could call them privileges, some could call them curses whatever,

930
00:59:53,920 --> 00:59:59,160
Speaker 1: who cares. But you know, like humans are, we're half

931
00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:04,040
Speaker 1: we're half consciousness and we're half just doing and existing

932
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:08,440
Speaker 1: and being animal shit and just like you know, doing

933
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:12,480
Speaker 1: our homeostasis. Like I think it's an inherently human thing

934
01:00:12,560 --> 01:00:14,800
Speaker 1: to have the self awareness that we get older. I

935
01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:17,120
Speaker 1: don't think that like animals and trees and shit even

936
01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:19,440
Speaker 1: know that they're growing or getting older. They just do it.

937
01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:22,160
Speaker 1: And you don't have to know that you're doing something

938
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:24,600
Speaker 1: to do it. Of course, So I don't think trees

939
01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:26,840
Speaker 1: are conscious. I don't think they have a concept of time.

940
01:00:28,040 --> 01:00:32,960
Speaker 1: I believe that your boy is correct, Like trees don't

941
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:35,400
Speaker 1: know that they're gonna die, and they don't know they're

942
01:00:35,400 --> 01:00:39,840
Speaker 1: getting older in the way the humans do. What's it

943
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:42,040
Speaker 1: like a New Zealand? Is it real? Are you guys

944
01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:44,080
Speaker 1: having this conversation in like the fuck? Are you guys

945
01:00:44,120 --> 01:00:46,400
Speaker 1: in the Shire? You know all the Lord of the

946
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:49,720
Speaker 1: Rings movies were made in New Zealand. Are you guys

947
01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:54,400
Speaker 1: having this conversation in the Shire? That's pretty cool? All right,

948
01:00:54,920 --> 01:01:01,760
Speaker 1: let's see, all right? This is from Billy, subject line

949
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:07,840
Speaker 1: cancer saved my life. Hi, Gek, I'm writing you this

950
01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:10,520
Speaker 1: email the night before I go into surgery. I am

951
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:14,160
Speaker 1: twenty seven years old and fighting cancer. I never thought

952
01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:16,200
Speaker 1: this would come up at this point in my life.

953
01:01:17,480 --> 01:01:21,439
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if ironic or funny is the right word,

954
01:01:21,520 --> 01:01:23,920
Speaker 1: but four years ago I was in and out of

955
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:28,560
Speaker 1: hospitals for suicide attempts. Now that my mind wants to live,

956
01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:32,480
Speaker 1: my body is fighting itself. You know what, I actually, Billy,

957
01:01:32,520 --> 01:01:35,920
Speaker 1: I completely under I completely understand what you're saying. I

958
01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:40,320
Speaker 1: completely fucking understand what you're saying. And I understand why

959
01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:43,320
Speaker 1: you think it's funny and ironic, right, because yeah, when

960
01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:47,040
Speaker 1: your mind that is so that is so fascinating. I'm

961
01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:52,280
Speaker 1: extremely sorry to hear this, but that is fascinating. Right, dude.

962
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:57,280
Speaker 1: I'd noticed this myself after like, I don't know, get

963
01:01:57,640 --> 01:02:03,280
Speaker 1: getting over wanting to die is like once your once

964
01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:05,400
Speaker 1: your brain is like, oh shit, I life is I

965
01:02:05,520 --> 01:02:08,480
Speaker 1: ask you. You know I like life. This is good?

966
01:02:09,120 --> 01:02:12,160
Speaker 1: You know it is it? I see? It is funny

967
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:14,840
Speaker 1: that now your body is like, well, too fucking bad.

968
01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:21,160
Speaker 1: You know. Let's see your body is fighting itself to say,

969
01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:23,720
Speaker 1: I've come a long way since then. As an understatement,

970
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:26,320
Speaker 1: gratitude and living in the moment are two things I

971
01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:29,880
Speaker 1: have strengthened tremendously throughout this journey. I've never been more

972
01:02:29,920 --> 01:02:32,960
Speaker 1: thankful for everything I have and have been able to experience.

973
01:02:34,040 --> 01:02:36,520
Speaker 1: While the physical pain is tough at times, I truly

974
01:02:36,560 --> 01:02:39,360
Speaker 1: believe this experience has opened my eyes to a more

975
01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:43,080
Speaker 1: enriching life. So many small worries I no longer have,

976
01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:47,040
Speaker 1: and living in the moment has unlocked so many beautiful

977
01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:49,720
Speaker 1: views I've overlooked in the past. Thank you for all

978
01:02:49,760 --> 01:02:55,240
Speaker 1: you do. Best wishes, Internet Deco. Man, mm bro, I

979
01:02:55,240 --> 01:02:57,760
Speaker 1: hope you're all right, Billy, I really do. I hope

980
01:02:57,760 --> 01:03:01,720
Speaker 1: you're doing okay. But yeah, I know what you mean.

981
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:05,240
Speaker 1: I know what you mean. As to why, as to everything,

982
01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:08,920
Speaker 1: you're saying as to why he feels like ironic and

983
01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:13,560
Speaker 1: in a weird one. I'm like, yeah, man, I get it,

984
01:03:13,640 --> 01:03:17,760
Speaker 1: I get it, I get it. I get why once

985
01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:20,840
Speaker 1: you're kind of faced with like some real shit, a

986
01:03:20,920 --> 01:03:27,840
Speaker 1: lot of the small stuff no longer no longer phases you. Hmm.

987
01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:35,040
Speaker 1: Thanks for sharing your experience with us. Billy all right.

988
01:03:35,080 --> 01:03:38,880
Speaker 1: This is from Kate, subject line the Taco Bell Crunch

989
01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:43,080
Speaker 1: rap Supremacy. Hey gek, when are you coming back to Seattle?

990
01:03:43,120 --> 01:03:46,440
Speaker 1: I have no idea, but eventually I hope this email

991
01:03:46,480 --> 01:03:49,120
Speaker 1: finds you as I would like to discuss something that

992
01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:52,520
Speaker 1: I am very passionate about, Taco Bell. I have always

993
01:03:52,560 --> 01:03:55,000
Speaker 1: loved Taco Bell growing up, and now, as a twenty

994
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:59,360
Speaker 1: five year old with full autonomy and subsequently left to

995
01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:03,080
Speaker 1: be responsible of my own executive functioning, I make the

996
01:04:03,200 --> 01:04:06,120
Speaker 1: choice to eat Taco Bell all the time. I eat

997
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:09,120
Speaker 1: Taco Bell a minimum of twice a week. I get

998
01:04:09,160 --> 01:04:13,240
Speaker 1: emails about upcoming sales, new releases, and even have the app.

999
01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:16,600
Speaker 1: I'm honestly kind of disgusted at how much I'm into

1000
01:04:16,640 --> 01:04:19,320
Speaker 1: Taco Bell. If I continue to eat Taco Bell the

1001
01:04:19,400 --> 01:04:21,480
Speaker 1: way I do now, I will no longer be able

1002
01:04:21,480 --> 01:04:23,959
Speaker 1: to leave my house without a crane within the next

1003
01:04:23,960 --> 01:04:27,360
Speaker 1: five years. However, as it stands, I am not crane

1004
01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:31,320
Speaker 1: bound and continue to push past the endlessness of limitations,

1005
01:04:33,160 --> 01:04:37,480
Speaker 1: explore new opportunities, and experiment with the food items at

1006
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:41,320
Speaker 1: Taco Bell. Within my exploration, I have discovered a very

1007
01:04:41,520 --> 01:04:44,200
Speaker 1: underrated hidden gem on the menu, and I feel it

1008
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:46,360
Speaker 1: is my obligation to share that with you all. I

1009
01:04:46,440 --> 01:04:50,760
Speaker 1: promise this is not sponsored, but I want to hear this.

1010
01:04:50,920 --> 01:04:52,960
Speaker 1: I want to hear this, ladies, gentlemen, and the rest

1011
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:56,160
Speaker 1: of the geckos across the Internet, the most underappreciated menu

1012
01:04:56,200 --> 01:04:59,840
Speaker 1: item at Taco Bell is the black Bean Crunch Wraps Supreme.

1013
01:05:01,080 --> 01:05:03,200
Speaker 1: Hold on, what is the Black being crunch Rap Supreme.

1014
01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:10,360
Speaker 1: I'm gonna google this real quick. Black Bean crunch Rap Supreme.

1015
01:05:10,680 --> 01:05:12,720
Speaker 1: Here's the thing, bro, if I go to Taco Bell there,

1016
01:05:12,920 --> 01:05:15,280
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna get anything without any meat in it.

1017
01:05:15,960 --> 01:05:19,760
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna get any vegetarian items. Okay, so this

1018
01:05:19,880 --> 01:05:23,840
Speaker 1: is yeah, this is a fully vegetarian Yeah. I mean,

1019
01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:26,880
Speaker 1: look cool for you if that's your thing. But like,

1020
01:05:26,960 --> 01:05:29,080
Speaker 1: if I'm going to Taco Bell, there's no way I'm

1021
01:05:29,400 --> 01:05:36,640
Speaker 1: consuming anything without meat. In it. Okay, the black Being

1022
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:38,960
Speaker 1: crunch Wrap Supreme is ten times. But this is back

1023
01:05:38,960 --> 01:05:42,280
Speaker 1: to the email. The black Being crunch Wrap Supreme is

1024
01:05:42,320 --> 01:05:45,680
Speaker 1: ten times better than the beef, than the beef or

1025
01:05:45,720 --> 01:05:48,959
Speaker 1: any other meat or protein substitute in the crunch wrap. Okay,

1026
01:05:48,960 --> 01:05:51,400
Speaker 1: So this person is trying to argue to me that

1027
01:05:52,120 --> 01:05:54,280
Speaker 1: even as this person I assume as a meat eater,

1028
01:05:54,360 --> 01:05:56,280
Speaker 1: there's no way you're not. This person's not a vegan

1029
01:05:56,400 --> 01:05:58,320
Speaker 1: or a fucking vegetarian. You don't get this into the

1030
01:05:58,360 --> 01:06:01,720
Speaker 1: taco bell as a vegetarian or a vegan. Okay, So

1031
01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:03,480
Speaker 1: I'm gonna assume this is a regular. This is a

1032
01:06:03,520 --> 01:06:09,320
Speaker 1: meat eater that is attempting to argue that the meatless

1033
01:06:09,760 --> 01:06:14,000
Speaker 1: black Bean crunch Wrap Supreme is better than the crunch

1034
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:16,080
Speaker 1: wrap with meat in it. And I'm gonna be open

1035
01:06:16,080 --> 01:06:20,560
Speaker 1: minded and I'm gonna read this argument. Okay, that is

1036
01:06:20,560 --> 01:06:22,360
Speaker 1: a hill I am willing to die on over a

1037
01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:24,680
Speaker 1: thousand times. If you haven't tried it, I beg you

1038
01:06:24,760 --> 01:06:26,320
Speaker 1: to do so as soon as you can. I'm not

1039
01:06:26,360 --> 01:06:28,880
Speaker 1: sold on this this. I don't believe this. The flavor

1040
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:31,880
Speaker 1: combination when the black beans and nacho cheese mix the

1041
01:06:31,920 --> 01:06:34,880
Speaker 1: crunchiness of the tostado, the crispiness of the lattice, the

1042
01:06:34,920 --> 01:06:38,240
Speaker 1: freshness of the tomatoes, I promise is not an ad

1043
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:42,840
Speaker 1: the creaminess of the creaminess of the sour cream wrapped

1044
01:06:42,880 --> 01:06:46,000
Speaker 1: up in the softly grilled flower tortilla. Not even God

1045
01:06:46,080 --> 01:06:49,080
Speaker 1: himself could cultivate such a divine experience. Okay, Kate, here's

1046
01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:52,600
Speaker 1: the thing. You haven't yet attempted to explain why it's

1047
01:06:52,600 --> 01:06:56,440
Speaker 1: better because everything that you've explained is still present in

1048
01:06:56,720 --> 01:07:00,919
Speaker 1: the chicken crunch rap. So why is the black version bet?

1049
01:07:00,920 --> 01:07:03,720
Speaker 1: Why is this better without chicken? I know that there

1050
01:07:03,760 --> 01:07:06,920
Speaker 1: are many things that are discussed on this platform, including

1051
01:07:06,960 --> 01:07:10,040
Speaker 1: the food at Taco Bell, but that's honestly not enough.

1052
01:07:10,040 --> 01:07:12,200
Speaker 1: We need to have even more discussions about Taco Bell

1053
01:07:12,200 --> 01:07:16,120
Speaker 1: than we already do. Okay, this hold on. Not enough

1054
01:07:16,120 --> 01:07:20,920
Speaker 1: people understand that the black Bean crunch Wrap Supreme holds

1055
01:07:20,920 --> 01:07:27,600
Speaker 1: supremacy over any other crunch rap. Okay, all right, that's

1056
01:07:27,640 --> 01:07:30,439
Speaker 1: pretty much the end of the email. This pretty listen, Kate,

1057
01:07:30,480 --> 01:07:34,000
Speaker 1: you gotta give me some I don't. I'm not. This

1058
01:07:34,080 --> 01:07:37,240
Speaker 1: email doesn't compel me to try it because there's nothing

1059
01:07:37,280 --> 01:07:40,160
Speaker 1: in here that's telling me that the black beans are

1060
01:07:40,200 --> 01:07:43,800
Speaker 1: going to be better than the chicken. I don't I

1061
01:07:43,840 --> 01:07:45,240
Speaker 1: was gonna, you know, I don't even want to give you.

1062
01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:46,920
Speaker 1: I don't want to even give you lip service and

1063
01:07:46,960 --> 01:07:48,760
Speaker 1: tell you that I'm gonna try it, because I'm probably not.

1064
01:07:48,840 --> 01:07:50,360
Speaker 1: I'm probably just gonna next time I go there, I'm

1065
01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:51,880
Speaker 1: gonna just this is making me kind of hungry for

1066
01:07:51,920 --> 01:07:53,760
Speaker 1: like an actual crunch wrap with like chicken in it,

1067
01:07:53,800 --> 01:07:58,960
Speaker 1: and shit. Yeah, bro, I'm also gonna have to I'm

1068
01:07:58,960 --> 01:08:02,880
Speaker 1: also gonna need a mean to take me out of

1069
01:08:02,880 --> 01:08:10,280
Speaker 1: my house pretty soon. I'm yeah. I've mentioned I was

1070
01:08:10,320 --> 01:08:13,680
Speaker 1: here in Tijuana and this morning I was like, this

1071
01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:15,720
Speaker 1: morning I was I was like, should I get like

1072
01:08:15,760 --> 01:08:18,280
Speaker 1: an authentic whatever the fuck? And I'm like, no, I

1073
01:08:18,280 --> 01:08:20,400
Speaker 1: don't care. I'm gonna go to Carls Junior. And so

1074
01:08:20,439 --> 01:08:24,960
Speaker 1: I went and I got a breakfast burrito. It was great,

1075
01:08:25,240 --> 01:08:27,400
Speaker 1: but I was also like, I'm eating too much fast food.

1076
01:08:28,479 --> 01:08:37,240
Speaker 1: I gotta, I gotta, I gotta stop doing that, all right, Okay,

1077
01:08:37,280 --> 01:08:40,960
Speaker 1: this is from jeffano Yuki, subject line, I had a

1078
01:08:41,040 --> 01:08:45,639
Speaker 1: dream of being downgraded. Hey, Lyle, nice to finally write

1079
01:08:45,640 --> 01:08:48,080
Speaker 1: something to you, because trying to call you is difficult

1080
01:08:48,160 --> 01:08:51,240
Speaker 1: for some reason in my country I am from Lithuania.

1081
01:08:52,680 --> 01:08:55,240
Speaker 1: I have a story. I had this dream of like

1082
01:08:55,320 --> 01:08:59,040
Speaker 1: being in a dark void or room or something, and

1083
01:08:59,120 --> 01:09:02,639
Speaker 1: suddenly whisp started to get louder, and I heard one

1084
01:09:02,760 --> 01:09:05,960
Speaker 1: voice talking about and comparing all the close ones I know,

1085
01:09:06,920 --> 01:09:10,360
Speaker 1: like from the family and relatives, and then more voices

1086
01:09:10,439 --> 01:09:13,720
Speaker 1: show up, and eventually they start talking about me. It

1087
01:09:13,760 --> 01:09:16,920
Speaker 1: was faint, but I clearly remember the whispers in the

1088
01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:20,280
Speaker 1: dream telling me that I'm worthless and a disgrace to

1089
01:09:20,320 --> 01:09:24,759
Speaker 1: the family, basically downgrading me. And that got me thinking,

1090
01:09:25,200 --> 01:09:28,559
Speaker 1: did my thoughts and feelings translate to a dream because

1091
01:09:28,560 --> 01:09:32,160
Speaker 1: I have low self esteem? Or this could even be

1092
01:09:32,400 --> 01:09:36,360
Speaker 1: deeper of past relatives or family members from the dead

1093
01:09:36,880 --> 01:09:40,440
Speaker 1: coming to visit me in my dreams and expressing disappointment

1094
01:09:40,479 --> 01:09:43,960
Speaker 1: in me because two or because one or two weeks

1095
01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:48,519
Speaker 1: before this dream my grandpa passed away from a heart attack.

1096
01:09:49,320 --> 01:09:51,840
Speaker 1: I'm probably overthinking too much about it, but I wanted

1097
01:09:51,840 --> 01:09:54,559
Speaker 1: to share this experience to you and hopefully you give

1098
01:09:54,640 --> 01:09:57,280
Speaker 1: some thoughts about this. Most people I've talked to have

1099
01:09:57,320 --> 01:10:01,840
Speaker 1: said it's basically my low self esteem evolving in my dreams. Also,

1100
01:10:01,920 --> 01:10:06,000
Speaker 1: Gecko and Lithuanian is geck on us. Thank you for

1101
01:10:06,080 --> 01:10:11,519
Speaker 1: sharing that. I yeah, I think dream I don't. I'm

1102
01:10:11,720 --> 01:10:14,920
Speaker 1: I'm not a law a believer in I mean, at

1103
01:10:14,920 --> 01:10:18,679
Speaker 1: this point, I'm like fairly agnostic about all things because

1104
01:10:18,760 --> 01:10:20,840
Speaker 1: I I just the older I get, the more I

1105
01:10:20,880 --> 01:10:24,559
Speaker 1: realize I don't fucking know anything and that the universe

1106
01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:30,400
Speaker 1: is completely beyond me. So I'm fairly agnostic towards a

1107
01:10:30,439 --> 01:10:35,599
Speaker 1: lot of shit. But I'm not super I don't. I'm

1108
01:10:35,600 --> 01:10:38,040
Speaker 1: not super big into like people from the I don't think.

1109
01:10:38,080 --> 01:10:42,360
Speaker 1: I don't think at least. Again, I'm fairly agnostic, But

1110
01:10:42,400 --> 01:10:44,679
Speaker 1: I don't think at least that people from the dead

1111
01:10:45,240 --> 01:10:48,720
Speaker 1: come to visit us in our dreams. That's less believable

1112
01:10:48,760 --> 01:10:55,160
Speaker 1: to me. I absolutely believe that you know, fears and

1113
01:10:57,520 --> 01:11:03,360
Speaker 1: low self esteem and feelings, whether subconscious or unconscious, whether

1114
01:11:03,439 --> 01:11:07,040
Speaker 1: whether conscious or unconscious, absolutely manifest in our dreams. Like

1115
01:11:07,040 --> 01:11:11,920
Speaker 1: that makes sense. So yeah, this probably could be just

1116
01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:16,439
Speaker 1: like a fear that's manifesting in your dream. I believe

1117
01:11:16,479 --> 01:11:18,479
Speaker 1: if it makes you feel in a better I believe

1118
01:11:18,520 --> 01:11:22,840
Speaker 1: that that's probably much more likely. That's way more likely

1119
01:11:23,040 --> 01:11:27,400
Speaker 1: than it is that like your grandpa is visiting you

1120
01:11:27,439 --> 01:11:30,040
Speaker 1: to tell you that you suck. And by the way,

1121
01:11:30,040 --> 01:11:33,080
Speaker 1: imagine if he was doing that, right, I mean, you know,

1122
01:11:33,960 --> 01:11:38,200
Speaker 1: I'd have to imagine being dead is because when you're dead,

1123
01:11:38,240 --> 01:11:42,080
Speaker 1: you're resting, right. Why would you want to disturb your

1124
01:11:42,120 --> 01:11:45,600
Speaker 1: own sleep? Why would you want to disturb a very comfortable,

1125
01:11:45,640 --> 01:11:50,800
Speaker 1: disturbing sleep to tell your grandson that he sucks? You know,

1126
01:11:51,520 --> 01:11:54,559
Speaker 1: I don't think he's doing that. I think he's probably chilling.

1127
01:11:57,479 --> 01:12:00,960
Speaker 1: So anyway, I mean, yeah, that's my thought about that.

1128
01:12:01,479 --> 01:12:03,879
Speaker 1: What's it like in Lithuania? Where the hell is Lithuania?

1129
01:12:03,880 --> 01:12:07,519
Speaker 1: I'm looking this up. I've never I haven't been to

1130
01:12:07,560 --> 01:12:12,000
Speaker 1: any of like Eastern Europe, like Estonia or Poland or

1131
01:12:12,000 --> 01:12:17,160
Speaker 1: any of that shit. It's mainly like Western that could

1132
01:12:17,200 --> 01:12:20,080
Speaker 1: be cool. Maybe I'll go to Lithuania for absolutely no reason.

1133
01:12:22,120 --> 01:12:28,799
Speaker 1: For Latvia is interesting? What's going on in Latvia? All right? Okay?

1134
01:12:28,840 --> 01:12:34,160
Speaker 1: This is from El Barto, subject line Sissyphus to do list. Hello, Ghek.

1135
01:12:34,240 --> 01:12:36,519
Speaker 1: I am a senior in college, living a good life,

1136
01:12:36,600 --> 01:12:38,760
Speaker 1: and I've been achieving things that I've been working on

1137
01:12:38,880 --> 01:12:44,080
Speaker 1: for years. I have an internship in quantitative finance. I

1138
01:12:44,080 --> 01:12:46,880
Speaker 1: have people that love me and appreciate me, and yet

1139
01:12:46,880 --> 01:12:49,479
Speaker 1: I keep finding myself feeling like I should be doing

1140
01:12:49,520 --> 01:12:53,280
Speaker 1: more that, or I jumped straight into planning and working

1141
01:12:53,280 --> 01:12:55,800
Speaker 1: on the next thing without even finishing the things in

1142
01:12:55,840 --> 01:12:59,320
Speaker 1: front of me, without even noticing. I guess the best

1143
01:12:59,320 --> 01:13:03,640
Speaker 1: way to describe this state is some weird multitasking Sissyphus

1144
01:13:03,720 --> 01:13:07,919
Speaker 1: conundrum type shit. And I just can't or have forgotten

1145
01:13:07,960 --> 01:13:10,719
Speaker 1: how to turn my brain off. It's mentally and physically

1146
01:13:10,760 --> 01:13:14,000
Speaker 1: impossible for me to sit and just be. The weight

1147
01:13:14,040 --> 01:13:17,160
Speaker 1: of reality is too nauseating, and the feeling of I

1148
01:13:17,240 --> 01:13:20,719
Speaker 1: need to be doing something goes bonkers. Not looking for anything,

1149
01:13:21,080 --> 01:13:26,160
Speaker 1: just wanted to share gek on brother, I'm glad you're

1150
01:13:26,160 --> 01:13:31,439
Speaker 1: not looking any for anything, but I old by the

1151
01:13:31,479 --> 01:13:35,280
Speaker 1: way I have. Me and I have good friends we

1152
01:13:35,400 --> 01:13:38,439
Speaker 1: have who have like that I need to be doing

1153
01:13:38,520 --> 01:13:48,960
Speaker 1: something feeling is a a permanent hard It's hardwired into Uh,

1154
01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:54,200
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna talk about myself. It's hardwired into my existence,

1155
01:13:56,200 --> 01:13:58,920
Speaker 1: like hardwired the whole I need to be doing something thing,

1156
01:13:59,600 --> 01:14:03,680
Speaker 1: and I've had it forever. I've had it since I

1157
01:14:04,040 --> 01:14:06,640
Speaker 1: I middle school or whatever. It's the reason why I

1158
01:14:06,680 --> 01:14:08,320
Speaker 1: was able to ever do any of the shit that

1159
01:14:08,360 --> 01:14:14,040
Speaker 1: I ever did in my life, and recently I have

1160
01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:19,000
Speaker 1: discovered because after like talking to friends who have that

1161
01:14:19,080 --> 01:14:22,200
Speaker 1: same shit and talking to my dad who has that shit,

1162
01:14:22,840 --> 01:14:29,120
Speaker 1: is it's adhd, you know, like there's a word for it.

1163
01:14:29,360 --> 01:14:30,880
Speaker 1: I thought though I didn't realize there was a word

1164
01:14:30,920 --> 01:14:33,360
Speaker 1: for it. I didn't realize I thought that that was

1165
01:14:33,439 --> 01:14:35,320
Speaker 1: just how I was, or that's like the human condition

1166
01:14:35,439 --> 01:14:39,360
Speaker 1: or whatever. And maybe I'm not here to fucking diagnose you,

1167
01:14:39,400 --> 01:14:42,800
Speaker 1: and I don't fucking you know, I don't even know

1168
01:14:42,880 --> 01:14:44,760
Speaker 1: this is a problem for you. But again, I'm just

1169
01:14:44,760 --> 01:14:46,640
Speaker 1: talking about this is just my own personal now, I'm

1170
01:14:46,680 --> 01:14:48,160
Speaker 1: not here to this. I'm not talking I'm you know,

1171
01:14:48,479 --> 01:14:50,439
Speaker 1: I'm not even this is not about your situation. This

1172
01:14:50,560 --> 01:14:52,439
Speaker 1: is just I'm relating to youth or my own thing.

1173
01:14:53,040 --> 01:14:58,320
Speaker 1: And for me, like and this is recently, bro this

1174
01:14:58,400 --> 01:15:02,439
Speaker 1: is like within like the last month, I've been like, oh,

1175
01:15:02,479 --> 01:15:05,480
Speaker 1: this feeling that I thought was just a weird amorphous

1176
01:15:05,560 --> 01:15:11,799
Speaker 1: part of like my existence has a name and people

1177
01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:16,439
Speaker 1: talk about it, you know, and people like kinda kind

1178
01:15:16,439 --> 01:15:20,280
Speaker 1: of like, uh, you know, they they they work on

1179
01:15:20,360 --> 01:15:24,479
Speaker 1: it through through medications and through fucking strategies and ship

1180
01:15:25,200 --> 01:15:31,040
Speaker 1: and and again for me, uh, the ADHD thing of

1181
01:15:31,200 --> 01:15:35,240
Speaker 1: I always need to be doing something. It is a

1182
01:15:36,200 --> 01:15:39,760
Speaker 1: when unchecked, uh, for for me and for for my

1183
01:15:39,760 --> 01:15:42,200
Speaker 1: friends that I've talked to have this ship a curse

1184
01:15:43,040 --> 01:15:46,920
Speaker 1: when unchecked, when undealt with a curse, dude, just a curse.

1185
01:15:47,600 --> 01:15:52,160
Speaker 1: Fucks up every aspect of your life. Executive functioning makes you,

1186
01:15:52,560 --> 01:15:56,120
Speaker 1: makes you live in a shit put you having like

1187
01:15:57,040 --> 01:16:02,439
Speaker 1: trash and clothes all over the floor, and like you know,

1188
01:16:02,600 --> 01:16:04,920
Speaker 1: can't hold down a relationship, can't hold down a job.

1189
01:16:05,040 --> 01:16:09,080
Speaker 1: Like It's just like, it's a fucking curse, right when

1190
01:16:10,600 --> 01:16:19,760
Speaker 1: when calculated, strategized, tamed, it's a fucking blessing, dude, right

1191
01:16:19,960 --> 01:16:22,240
Speaker 1: because the whole I need to be doing something thing.

1192
01:16:22,280 --> 01:16:27,679
Speaker 1: It pushes you into positive places. It makes you want

1193
01:16:27,720 --> 01:16:29,719
Speaker 1: to get more out of life. It makes you wanna,

1194
01:16:31,320 --> 01:16:33,439
Speaker 1: you know, do shit and live a better life, and

1195
01:16:33,439 --> 01:16:40,040
Speaker 1: it leads you to cool places. And the process I'm

1196
01:16:40,040 --> 01:16:43,559
Speaker 1: just talking about myself still, the process for me of

1197
01:16:47,120 --> 01:16:51,280
Speaker 1: like raining it in so that it's not a detriment,

1198
01:16:51,400 --> 01:16:53,880
Speaker 1: so that you're not hating yourself all the time because

1199
01:16:53,920 --> 01:16:58,400
Speaker 1: you're not doing stuff. What does that process look like

1200
01:16:58,439 --> 01:17:01,120
Speaker 1: for me? I don't know. It's a lot of like

1201
01:17:01,280 --> 01:17:05,240
Speaker 1: fine tuning routines and a lot of going to fucking

1202
01:17:05,920 --> 01:17:10,880
Speaker 1: hold on, I have a sneeze. Fuck, I have to sneeze,

1203
01:17:10,880 --> 01:17:13,639
Speaker 1: but the sneeze isn't coming. Hold on, it's coming. It's

1204
01:17:13,640 --> 01:17:20,280
Speaker 1: better to be here. It's on its way. Okay. The

1205
01:17:20,360 --> 01:17:22,840
Speaker 1: process for me looked like, I mean, you guys know,

1206
01:17:22,840 --> 01:17:26,320
Speaker 1: I won't shut the fuck up about vibe ance. That

1207
01:17:26,400 --> 01:17:30,600
Speaker 1: shit is great whatever, at least for me when I

1208
01:17:30,640 --> 01:17:34,160
Speaker 1: discovered that, Like, oh, when I discovered that this uh yeah,

1209
01:17:34,240 --> 01:17:38,080
Speaker 1: the whole I need to be doing something thing is like, uh,

1210
01:17:38,240 --> 01:17:40,679
Speaker 1: it's a thing, you know, It's not just a weird

1211
01:17:40,720 --> 01:17:44,920
Speaker 1: thing that is a unique part of my own uh

1212
01:17:45,160 --> 01:17:50,000
Speaker 1: firmware as a human being. I was like, oh shit,

1213
01:17:50,120 --> 01:17:52,840
Speaker 1: this is interesting. I can like tame this. I don't

1214
01:17:52,880 --> 01:17:54,599
Speaker 1: know if that has anything to do with your life,

1215
01:17:54,680 --> 01:17:57,439
Speaker 1: but I don't know. That's just that's just my I'm

1216
01:17:57,439 --> 01:17:59,240
Speaker 1: not looking for anything either, I just want I also

1217
01:17:59,400 --> 01:18:10,800
Speaker 1: just wanted to subject line working at a retirement home

1218
01:18:11,040 --> 01:18:14,880
Speaker 1: made me hate old people. Hello, gek, I just want

1219
01:18:14,920 --> 01:18:17,639
Speaker 1: to vent about working at a retirement home. Oh sorry,

1220
01:18:17,680 --> 01:18:21,720
Speaker 1: there's a hiccup. Working at one has not made me

1221
01:18:21,800 --> 01:18:24,880
Speaker 1: see old people. They put this person put people in

1222
01:18:25,400 --> 01:18:29,400
Speaker 1: quotation marks. This person. Working at one has not made

1223
01:18:29,439 --> 01:18:32,479
Speaker 1: me see old people in a good light, due to

1224
01:18:32,560 --> 01:18:35,680
Speaker 1: me realizing, for the most part they are useless old

1225
01:18:35,720 --> 01:18:39,400
Speaker 1: and I have a sneeze coming. I'm gonna sneeze again.

1226
01:18:40,760 --> 01:18:42,320
Speaker 1: Should I leave this one in because I feel like

1227
01:18:42,360 --> 01:18:44,360
Speaker 1: i've I feel like I've interrupted the podcast with a

1228
01:18:44,360 --> 01:18:46,960
Speaker 1: lot of sneezes. I'm gonna I'll leave it in. Fuck

1229
01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:50,280
Speaker 1: it's gone, all right, all right, fuck it, We'll leave

1230
01:18:50,320 --> 01:18:52,759
Speaker 1: that in. Who cares? Let it? Let it. Imperfection is fine,

1231
01:18:52,840 --> 01:18:56,360
Speaker 1: It's imperfection is fine. Okay, back to this person who

1232
01:18:56,400 --> 01:19:00,479
Speaker 1: hates people. Uh. Working on one is not me see

1233
01:19:00,520 --> 01:19:04,200
Speaker 1: old people in a good light, due to me realizing,

1234
01:19:04,400 --> 01:19:08,559
Speaker 1: for the most part they're useless. Again. Quotitions people who

1235
01:19:08,600 --> 01:19:11,920
Speaker 1: are detrimental to the society. They are a part of

1236
01:19:12,040 --> 01:19:16,479
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. Okay. It bothers me a lot that we

1237
01:19:16,560 --> 01:19:19,120
Speaker 1: let them stay in positions of power when their point

1238
01:19:19,120 --> 01:19:23,040
Speaker 1: of view comes from the seventies and eighties. It would

1239
01:19:23,040 --> 01:19:28,160
Speaker 1: be better if they weren't the nastiest again. Quotation marks

1240
01:19:28,280 --> 01:19:32,160
Speaker 1: people in both sense of the word. All in all,

1241
01:19:32,240 --> 01:19:36,559
Speaker 1: working here has made me come to two conclusions. One

1242
01:19:36,720 --> 01:19:39,760
Speaker 1: past a certain age, people shouldn't be allowed to get

1243
01:19:39,760 --> 01:19:43,600
Speaker 1: life extending care. Two, I'd never want to be like

1244
01:19:43,680 --> 01:19:47,800
Speaker 1: those people who are just too selfish to let go.

1245
01:19:48,479 --> 01:19:50,639
Speaker 1: I know this is a very bad point of view

1246
01:19:50,680 --> 01:19:56,640
Speaker 1: to have, but it's how I feel interesting. Past a

1247
01:19:56,640 --> 01:19:59,280
Speaker 1: certain age people shouldn't be allowed to get life extending care.

1248
01:20:00,360 --> 01:20:07,240
Speaker 1: What age? What? What? What age? Aiden? Is it? Like?

1249
01:20:08,520 --> 01:20:10,880
Speaker 1: I guess in your in your universe, is it like, Okay,

1250
01:20:10,880 --> 01:20:15,880
Speaker 1: once you're ninety, you did it? You know? At what age? Yeah?

1251
01:20:15,880 --> 01:20:18,320
Speaker 1: At what age does the hospital go and you know

1252
01:20:18,439 --> 01:20:22,320
Speaker 1: what you're what do we at? What age does the

1253
01:20:22,360 --> 01:20:24,840
Speaker 1: hospital look at you and go? What are we doing here?

1254
01:20:25,760 --> 01:20:33,160
Speaker 1: You know? What? What are we doing here? Yeah? Ninety?

1255
01:20:33,960 --> 01:20:37,760
Speaker 1: I don't know. This person probably thinks it's seventy. This

1256
01:20:37,840 --> 01:20:40,240
Speaker 1: person's probably like, look after seventy, you're on your own.

1257
01:20:43,600 --> 01:20:46,120
Speaker 1: I like this, this is interesting. This person's like I

1258
01:20:46,120 --> 01:20:47,800
Speaker 1: want to be like those I never I don't want

1259
01:20:47,840 --> 01:20:50,160
Speaker 1: to be those people who are too selfish to let go.

1260
01:20:56,240 --> 01:20:57,880
Speaker 1: I don't know why this is making me laugh. Just

1261
01:20:57,920 --> 01:21:00,519
Speaker 1: this person, this person being pissed off is making me

1262
01:21:00,600 --> 01:21:03,320
Speaker 1: laugh a lot, because yeah, this person's looking at it

1263
01:21:03,360 --> 01:21:05,439
Speaker 1: and as like a ninety year old, and they're like,

1264
01:21:05,720 --> 01:21:08,719
Speaker 1: just die already. Why are you you? Why do you?

1265
01:21:08,760 --> 01:21:13,920
Speaker 1: Why do you? Why are you so? Why do you

1266
01:21:13,960 --> 01:21:16,720
Speaker 1: love yourself so much that you need to like, let

1267
01:21:16,720 --> 01:21:21,479
Speaker 1: it go, let your You're holding on to important carbon

1268
01:21:21,680 --> 01:21:25,759
Speaker 1: that could be used for soil. You know, you borrow you,

1269
01:21:25,760 --> 01:21:28,040
Speaker 1: your boy. All of our all of our bodies are

1270
01:21:28,080 --> 01:21:32,200
Speaker 1: on loan. All of our bodies are on loan. You know,

1271
01:21:33,880 --> 01:21:37,240
Speaker 1: I get it. Yeah, at ninety it's like, you know,

1272
01:21:37,320 --> 01:21:40,880
Speaker 1: let yourself go back into the soil. You can't hold

1273
01:21:40,880 --> 01:21:45,599
Speaker 1: it to you can't you can't hoard it forever. Yeah,

1274
01:21:45,600 --> 01:21:51,160
Speaker 1: I get where you're coming from. Aiden. I mean, I

1275
01:21:51,160 --> 01:21:53,640
Speaker 1: don't think we should kill all the old people. I

1276
01:21:53,680 --> 01:21:56,640
Speaker 1: assume I feel like you want. I feel like you

1277
01:21:56,800 --> 01:21:59,559
Speaker 1: wanted to email me saying that you think we should

1278
01:21:59,680 --> 01:22:02,000
Speaker 1: kill all the old people. I don't think we should

1279
01:22:02,080 --> 01:22:05,439
Speaker 1: kill all the old people. I don't think we should

1280
01:22:05,479 --> 01:22:10,320
Speaker 1: do that. I don't think I think that's an ethical dilemma.

1281
01:22:11,280 --> 01:22:14,000
Speaker 1: I don't even know if it's a dilemma. I don't

1282
01:22:14,000 --> 01:22:16,960
Speaker 1: think there's a lot of people who think we should

1283
01:22:17,120 --> 01:22:20,160
Speaker 1: kill all the old people. But I do understand from

1284
01:22:20,160 --> 01:22:22,840
Speaker 1: this person's I do understand why this person like they're

1285
01:22:22,840 --> 01:22:26,080
Speaker 1: working at the retirement home at this like ninety year old,

1286
01:22:26,120 --> 01:22:29,160
Speaker 1: and they're like, just let it go. You did it,

1287
01:22:29,920 --> 01:22:34,080
Speaker 1: there's nothing, you got no other Although actually I will

1288
01:22:34,080 --> 01:22:37,759
Speaker 1: say this, I will say this, what's this? Somebody somebody

1289
01:22:37,800 --> 01:22:40,360
Speaker 1: recommended this book to me. I didn't. I didn't read it,

1290
01:22:41,800 --> 01:22:45,479
Speaker 1: but I researched the author. This is what I do

1291
01:22:45,560 --> 01:22:49,040
Speaker 1: now when people recommend, oh, I have a new hold

1292
01:22:49,040 --> 01:22:52,880
Speaker 1: on it, staring at the sun book. Oh, I have

1293
01:22:52,880 --> 01:22:58,000
Speaker 1: a new I have a new unpopular opinion. I shouldn't

1294
01:22:58,040 --> 01:23:03,320
Speaker 1: even say this because it's it's very stupid and I'm

1295
01:23:03,400 --> 01:23:06,439
Speaker 1: half joking when I say it, and I might look

1296
01:23:06,479 --> 01:23:09,160
Speaker 1: back at this years from now and be like, that

1297
01:23:09,240 --> 01:23:12,679
Speaker 1: was a really stupid thing to say. But okay, here's

1298
01:23:12,720 --> 01:23:15,720
Speaker 1: the thing. All books, not like all books, but like

1299
01:23:17,400 --> 01:23:22,800
Speaker 1: books about like ideas, you know, books like self help

1300
01:23:22,880 --> 01:23:29,479
Speaker 1: books and like books that have thesises to them. You

1301
01:23:29,520 --> 01:23:34,519
Speaker 1: can kind of get the same idea by just reading

1302
01:23:34,600 --> 01:23:38,080
Speaker 1: the thesis as you can by reading the whole ass book.

1303
01:23:38,680 --> 01:23:41,720
Speaker 1: So like, somebody recommended this book to me, and I

1304
01:23:41,840 --> 01:23:45,000
Speaker 1: just like read about the book itself and about the

1305
01:23:45,040 --> 01:23:50,240
Speaker 1: author instead of like reading the actual book. That's how

1306
01:23:50,320 --> 01:23:54,680
Speaker 1: that's lately how I read books, which is maybe kind

1307
01:23:54,680 --> 01:23:57,200
Speaker 1: of stupid, but I think it's like, I think it's

1308
01:23:57,240 --> 01:24:02,400
Speaker 1: a life hack. I think it's a pro tool anyway.

1309
01:24:02,400 --> 01:24:04,679
Speaker 1: All right, So yeah, this book I got recommended Staring

1310
01:24:04,720 --> 01:24:10,040
Speaker 1: at the Sun by Irvin Yallom, and I was researching

1311
01:24:10,080 --> 01:24:14,000
Speaker 1: this dude, Ervin Yallom. He's like a psychiatrist who does

1312
01:24:15,520 --> 01:24:18,320
Speaker 1: existential psychiatry. Yeah, but I was talking a lot about

1313
01:24:18,320 --> 01:24:21,160
Speaker 1: existential shit. A few people recommended me this book. Anyway,

1314
01:24:21,200 --> 01:24:23,120
Speaker 1: I promise this relates to what we were talking about. Okay,

1315
01:24:23,120 --> 01:24:28,240
Speaker 1: So this guy, Irvin Yalloam, he's still alive ninety three

1316
01:24:28,479 --> 01:24:35,120
Speaker 1: years old, and he got married to his current wife

1317
01:24:35,400 --> 01:24:40,720
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty four. This motherfucker got married at the

1318
01:24:40,760 --> 01:24:46,880
Speaker 1: age of ninety two, so he's kicking. He's doing it,

1319
01:24:49,160 --> 01:24:53,479
Speaker 1: So that is possible. You can, in fact get still

1320
01:24:53,560 --> 01:24:56,439
Speaker 1: do life things at the age of ninety two. Who

1321
01:24:56,439 --> 01:25:01,240
Speaker 1: else is who else is old and doing shit? I

1322
01:25:01,240 --> 01:25:03,439
Speaker 1: don't know. Look at Bernie Sanders, Dude, that guy's fucking

1323
01:25:03,479 --> 01:25:06,400
Speaker 1: eighty three years old. He went on stage at Coachella

1324
01:25:06,439 --> 01:25:10,240
Speaker 1: to talk about a bunch of shit. So I don't

1325
01:25:10,240 --> 01:25:13,400
Speaker 1: know old people they're still doing stuff. Eighty three is

1326
01:25:13,400 --> 01:25:16,599
Speaker 1: a jump. Ninety is a pretty big jump from eighty three.

1327
01:25:16,640 --> 01:25:19,880
Speaker 1: I'll say that, but no, I don't. I don't think

1328
01:25:19,920 --> 01:25:24,719
Speaker 1: we should kill all the old people. Aiden, I don't hear. Okay,

1329
01:25:24,800 --> 01:25:27,040
Speaker 1: you know what. I'm with you on this, Aiden, I

1330
01:25:27,120 --> 01:25:29,800
Speaker 1: don't think we should kill all the old people. But

1331
01:25:30,000 --> 01:25:34,280
Speaker 1: I do think you should just I do. But I

1332
01:25:34,320 --> 01:25:39,400
Speaker 1: do think at some point you should just die. I

1333
01:25:39,479 --> 01:25:44,120
Speaker 1: think at some point you should just die. I think,

1334
01:25:45,800 --> 01:25:47,439
Speaker 1: you know, if you're like a hundred, like you know,

1335
01:25:47,479 --> 01:25:51,800
Speaker 1: those people who live like live to like like in

1336
01:25:51,800 --> 01:25:56,080
Speaker 1: their hundreds, I don't know, maybe I'll you know what

1337
01:25:56,120 --> 01:25:58,439
Speaker 1: I want to re I'm gonna rewatch this when I'm

1338
01:25:58,520 --> 01:26:02,040
Speaker 1: like if I if I'm if if I'm honored enough,

1339
01:26:02,040 --> 01:26:04,160
Speaker 1: if I'm privileged enough to make it to the age

1340
01:26:04,160 --> 01:26:07,800
Speaker 1: of one hundred, I want to rewatch this, and I

1341
01:26:07,840 --> 01:26:11,040
Speaker 1: want to be like this guy had no idea what

1342
01:26:11,280 --> 01:26:13,880
Speaker 1: I had no idea at that time, at twenty seven,

1343
01:26:13,920 --> 01:26:16,639
Speaker 1: what it would feel like to be one hundred, because

1344
01:26:16,680 --> 01:26:19,080
Speaker 1: I'll if I make it to one hundred, I'll probably

1345
01:26:19,680 --> 01:26:22,320
Speaker 1: if you can. If you make it to one hundred

1346
01:26:22,439 --> 01:26:28,759
Speaker 1: in the first place, you probably were fighting the whole time.

1347
01:26:29,439 --> 01:26:35,280
Speaker 1: You probably were present and actually living your life the

1348
01:26:35,320 --> 01:26:40,080
Speaker 1: whole Time'll still be clinging to it, right because you

1349
01:26:40,120 --> 01:26:42,160
Speaker 1: could be seventy one and be like, I'm done, let's

1350
01:26:42,200 --> 01:26:46,280
Speaker 1: just let's just fucking we did it pretty good. I mean, fuck,

1351
01:26:46,320 --> 01:26:48,000
Speaker 1: you can feel you can feel like that way, you

1352
01:26:48,040 --> 01:26:52,519
Speaker 1: can feel away at twenty three, you know. But yeah,

1353
01:26:52,760 --> 01:26:54,439
Speaker 1: I don't think we should kill all the old people.

1354
01:27:00,000 --> 01:27:05,800
Speaker 1: Why don't you? I don't know. Maybe should we kill

1355
01:27:05,840 --> 01:27:07,719
Speaker 1: all that should be kill all the No, we shouldn't

1356
01:27:07,760 --> 01:27:10,400
Speaker 1: kill the old people. I don't think we should do that.

1357
01:27:11,720 --> 01:27:15,640
Speaker 1: But I do think at some point you just got it,

1358
01:27:15,920 --> 01:27:17,360
Speaker 1: you just gotta do it. At some point you just

1359
01:27:17,400 --> 01:27:21,840
Speaker 1: gotta die. If you're like one hundred and eleven, that's

1360
01:27:22,000 --> 01:27:25,240
Speaker 1: that's too much. Although I don't know who cares, I

1361
01:27:25,240 --> 01:27:26,680
Speaker 1: don't give it. You know what, Actually, actually, Hall, I

1362
01:27:26,720 --> 01:27:28,760
Speaker 1: take back everything I just said. I take back a

1363
01:27:28,840 --> 01:27:30,720
Speaker 1: hundred except the killing the old people. Think. I don't

1364
01:27:30,760 --> 01:27:32,559
Speaker 1: think we should do that. I remain in that, But

1365
01:27:32,640 --> 01:27:35,840
Speaker 1: everything else I said I take it back. I think

1366
01:27:35,840 --> 01:27:38,960
Speaker 1: if you live to one hundred and eleven, you probably

1367
01:27:39,000 --> 01:27:41,160
Speaker 1: worked relatively hard to do that. I think you should

1368
01:27:41,160 --> 01:27:42,439
Speaker 1: be able to keep I think you should be able

1369
01:27:42,479 --> 01:27:45,240
Speaker 1: to keep your body. You should be able to keep

1370
01:27:45,280 --> 01:27:47,600
Speaker 1: your body as long as I take everything back. I

1371
01:27:47,600 --> 01:27:48,920
Speaker 1: don't think you should die. I think you should. I

1372
01:27:48,920 --> 01:27:50,439
Speaker 1: think you should be able to keep your body as

1373
01:27:50,479 --> 01:27:54,519
Speaker 1: long as you can, and then at a certain point

1374
01:27:54,560 --> 01:27:57,240
Speaker 1: gracefully return it to the earth. But keep it as

1375
01:27:57,280 --> 01:28:01,439
Speaker 1: long as you can. You know what we got. We

1376
01:28:01,520 --> 01:28:05,760
Speaker 1: got enough carbon to do shit. Maybe I don't know.

1377
01:28:05,840 --> 01:28:09,640
Speaker 1: I don't know anything. I'm insane. All right, there we go.

1378
01:28:09,720 --> 01:28:11,760
Speaker 1: That was the last email I'm gonna read. I think

1379
01:28:11,760 --> 01:28:14,519
Speaker 1: that's it. I think any I think attempting to read

1380
01:28:14,560 --> 01:28:22,360
Speaker 1: any more emails is a bad idea. So I I'm

1381
01:28:22,400 --> 01:28:27,559
Speaker 1: gonna go. What am I gonna go do? I'm gonna go.

1382
01:28:27,640 --> 01:28:31,160
Speaker 1: I might go to sleep, I might do that. I

1383
01:28:31,240 --> 01:28:35,120
Speaker 1: might go eat something. I'm gonna do one of those

1384
01:28:35,160 --> 01:28:39,040
Speaker 1: two things. Thank you for listening to gek mail. I'm

1385
01:28:39,160 --> 01:28:40,840
Speaker 1: I'm very excited for you guys to see this ti

1386
01:28:40,960 --> 01:28:43,080
Speaker 1: Wana video. It's gonna take me like a little bit.

1387
01:28:43,560 --> 01:28:45,080
Speaker 1: I don't know exactly how long it's gonna take me

1388
01:28:45,080 --> 01:28:46,720
Speaker 1: to edit, but I'm very excited about it. I feel

1389
01:28:46,760 --> 01:28:50,360
Speaker 1: like it's gonna be the main ship that I want

1390
01:28:50,360 --> 01:28:54,000
Speaker 1: to focus on. For for you know, indefinitely is like

1391
01:28:54,080 --> 01:28:56,040
Speaker 1: making this type of video. I think it's a cool

1392
01:28:56,600 --> 01:28:59,559
Speaker 1: a cool format. I'm interested in it, and I'm gonna

1393
01:28:59,600 --> 01:29:01,760
Speaker 1: keep doing this kind of ship. Thank you all very

1394
01:29:01,840 --> 01:29:04,320
Speaker 1: much for listening to this pot if you guys. Thank

1395
01:29:04,320 --> 01:29:06,400
Speaker 1: you guys so very much for listening to this podcast

1396
01:29:07,360 --> 01:29:09,519
Speaker 1: over the years, because if you hadn't been listening to

1397
01:29:09,560 --> 01:29:11,960
Speaker 1: this podcast, I would not be in a position where

1398
01:29:12,000 --> 01:29:17,880
Speaker 1: I could make, uh, make cool videos and do ship

1399
01:29:18,000 --> 01:29:23,120
Speaker 1: like this. So thank you guys. I appreciate it. And

1400
01:29:24,160 --> 01:29:26,840
Speaker 1: do I have anything else to anything else to say? No,

1401
01:29:26,960 --> 01:29:29,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go either eat something or

1402
01:29:29,240 --> 01:29:31,320
Speaker 1: go to sleep. Okay, bye everyone, Thank you for listening

1403
01:29:31,320 --> 01:29:35,639
Speaker 1: to the podcast. Bye bye again. Goes on the line

1404
01:29:35,920 --> 01:29:39,519
Speaker 1: taking your phone calls every night. Dever goes to and

1405
01:29:39,760 --> 01:29:43,879
Speaker 1: try's teaching you aloud in the memorial line, not really

1406
01:29:44,280 --> 01:29:44,479
Speaker 1: ex