1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:06,440 Speaker 1: Conversations on life, style, beauty, and relationships. It's the Velvet's 2 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,240 Speaker 1: Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson. 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:13,640 Speaker 2: It is the last New Velvet episode of twenty twenty three. 4 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 2: And this is a solo episode. I say that and 5 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 2: I laugh because you guys, if you've listened at all 6 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:26,639 Speaker 2: to this podcast for any amount of time, you've probably 7 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:30,840 Speaker 2: heard me talk about how much I hate these solo episodes. 8 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:34,280 Speaker 2: So why would I even do them? You ask? But 9 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,920 Speaker 2: I don't. I really do avoid them at all costs. 10 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:41,839 Speaker 2: But I've had a lot of friends recently point this 11 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:45,479 Speaker 2: out to me that all of my friends in my 12 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:49,520 Speaker 2: life call me when life is going to shit, they 13 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,879 Speaker 2: either to listen to them or to give advice or 14 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 2: comfort nurturing, if you will, since that's our topic this month, 15 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:02,400 Speaker 2: whatever it is that is kind of become my role, 16 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:04,720 Speaker 2: or always been my role with all of my friends. 17 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:11,839 Speaker 2: And they've said to me that maybe some of those 18 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,240 Speaker 2: insights and some of the work that I've done to 19 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,320 Speaker 2: learn the things that I have and just the experience 20 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,479 Speaker 2: that I've gotten from that would be good to share 21 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:23,319 Speaker 2: with you guys. So here I am with one final 22 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 2: thought of twenty twenty three, even if it's on a 23 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:31,200 Speaker 2: solo episode. I'm dedicated to getting better at these and 24 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:34,520 Speaker 2: also putting myself out there. I think solo episodes just 25 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:38,160 Speaker 2: feel a little more vulnerable. There's no other energy to 26 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 2: bounce off of. And if you listen to the episode 27 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:44,200 Speaker 2: about human design, I am a generator, so I kind 28 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 2: of feed off that I feed off of other people's 29 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 2: energies and without that sometimes it becomes difficult for me. 30 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 2: So anyway, I'm going to do try anyway and we'll 31 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 2: see what happens. But there was one thing that I 32 00:01:56,200 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 2: really thought might be a helpful tool that I've learned 33 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 2: and really come to accept in life. And it's really 34 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:08,480 Speaker 2: actually completely changed my life to understand this idea, and 35 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 2: it's completely changed the way I look at the word 36 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 2: nurture and self love, if you will. But because the 37 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 2: theme this month is nurture, I thought, well, this would 38 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:20,040 Speaker 2: be a really great way to go out of twenty 39 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,680 Speaker 2: twenty three is to give one little tip of something 40 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:26,280 Speaker 2: that's changed my life, and that is through the word mirroring. 41 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:28,480 Speaker 2: And if you listen to the podcast at all, or 42 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,560 Speaker 2: you listen to the podcast that I do each month 43 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,600 Speaker 2: with master astrologer Marvin Wilkerson, you've heard us talk about 44 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 2: this topic, and it really kind of took me a 45 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 2: minute to fully grasp this thing. Obviously, the word mirroring 46 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,560 Speaker 2: can mean a lot of different things, but the way 47 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 2: that I'm talking about it is in this capacity of 48 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:50,960 Speaker 2: looking at life as a school. So if you look 49 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:54,240 Speaker 2: at life as school, then you think of every situation, 50 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:59,240 Speaker 2: every circumstance, every relationship, every hardship as here to teach 51 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:03,200 Speaker 2: you something about yourself. And although that can feel really cruel, 52 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:07,680 Speaker 2: because especially if you're someone going through really tough circumstances, 53 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:11,239 Speaker 2: or right now specifically, if you're going through really tough circumstances, 54 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:13,520 Speaker 2: you probably just are listening to me, like rolling your 55 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 2: eyes and want to tell me to go fuck off. 56 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:19,079 Speaker 2: But I do understand that, and I know that it's 57 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 2: just brutal and sometimes things make no sense and so 58 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 2: they can be extra painful. But after all of my 59 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:29,919 Speaker 2: work with Marv, one of the biggest things that he's 60 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 2: really helped me to understand is that every circumstance is 61 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 2: not only teaching us just about life in general, but 62 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 2: our reactions to those circumstances are actually bringing something out 63 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 2: in us that's just ready to be seen or it's 64 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,480 Speaker 2: ready to be loved or it's ready to be healed. 65 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:53,160 Speaker 2: So observing my reactions to certain things, people, relationships, work, situations, 66 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 2: and then asking myself what those reactions were telling me 67 00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:00,240 Speaker 2: about me has become one of the greatest tools of 68 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 2: my life. So as I say all that, you're sitting 69 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,920 Speaker 2: here thinking like, well, how does looking into myself have 70 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 2: anything to do with nurturing myself? Like self evaluation as 71 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:15,480 Speaker 2: nurturing seems kind of strange, I could say, But my 72 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 2: answer to that would be, but how The reason I 73 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 2: would say that is because how can we truly love 74 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 2: ourselves or nurture or take care of ourselves if we 75 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 2: don't even know ourselves in the moment, especially in hard moments, 76 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 2: it can just seem like whatever the thing on the 77 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:36,520 Speaker 2: outside is, whatever the thing outside of us is, that's 78 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,720 Speaker 2: the thing we should blame for any sort of pain 79 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,360 Speaker 2: we feel, or hardship or anything like that. It can 80 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 2: seem like it's the other person. It could seem like 81 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:47,479 Speaker 2: it's the relationship. But when something has its hooks in me, 82 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 2: which has been the case for me often in the past, 83 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:54,279 Speaker 2: if something has it hooks in me, it's showing me 84 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 2: something about me. Right, Like, it's not actually that person 85 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:01,919 Speaker 2: that's made me do that thing triggering something inside of me, 86 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 2: whether it's that it made me feel unworthy, it made 87 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 2: me feel unloved, it made me feel not good enough. 88 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:12,599 Speaker 2: It's triggering some narrative or some old wound inside of me. 89 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 2: And you know it should be clear. Let me say this, 90 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,359 Speaker 2: all of the job, the relationship, the friendships, the family. 91 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,080 Speaker 2: You know, that can seem like the exact way of 92 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,440 Speaker 2: your pain. And I'm not saying it's not painful. Like, 93 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 2: there's a lot of situations in my past where I 94 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:32,400 Speaker 2: can look at the bad behavior from said circumstances and go, no, 95 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,880 Speaker 2: that was real. That was really real. It was really painful, 96 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:39,840 Speaker 2: it was really unacceptable. But its purpose in my life 97 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 2: was greater than the pain. And even though some of 98 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 2: those situations caused me a massive amount of pain, without 99 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 2: that pain, I would never grow, I would never evolve, 100 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 2: I would never actually know the real me. My reactions 101 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,920 Speaker 2: to those things always brought always brought me back to me, 102 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 2: but they also brought me to a new version of 103 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,560 Speaker 2: me that I didn't even know yet, that was somewhere 104 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:05,159 Speaker 2: buried deep inside. So once I could see the real wound, 105 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 2: the real hurt, the real story I was even making 106 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:11,760 Speaker 2: up about myself. Because of the scenario, I could actually 107 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:15,119 Speaker 2: then take steps, find the tools and heal those sweet 108 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:18,280 Speaker 2: parts of myself that were hurting so bad. That has 109 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 2: become the greatest tool to my nurturing. I can't explain 110 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,160 Speaker 2: what things are happening in your life, whether they're painful 111 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:27,039 Speaker 2: or they're wonderful. Only you can come to clarity with 112 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:31,120 Speaker 2: that or terms with that. But I do truly believe 113 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,160 Speaker 2: that the quickest way to nurturing ourselves is to pay 114 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 2: attention to what each scenario is bringing up for you. 115 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:40,560 Speaker 2: I always say, take what you like and leave the rest. 116 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 2: So this is that moment. Now. I never come on 117 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,160 Speaker 2: here trying to act like I'm an expert in things. 118 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,360 Speaker 2: That's why I do this podcast is because I love 119 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 2: to talk to the experts, and they've taught me so 120 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:54,839 Speaker 2: much about life and how to heal and how to 121 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:58,720 Speaker 2: process and how to grow. But the question of the 122 00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:01,920 Speaker 2: last month of twenty twenty three, from me to you 123 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:05,680 Speaker 2: and from me to me is what are the situations 124 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:09,600 Speaker 2: in my life mirroring to me about myself? Am I 125 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 2: happy and my content? Do they bring me joy and 126 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:17,200 Speaker 2: my self sabotaging because of old pain. What is my 127 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:20,240 Speaker 2: higher self trying to help me develop through this hardship 128 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 2: and does my soul feel nourished? That is a big one. 129 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 2: I put a self love sound frequency for my favorite 130 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 2: sound healer in the description of this podcast. I know 131 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,360 Speaker 2: that sounds weird, but if you are going to ponder 132 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 2: those questions, maybe put that on the background. Or if 133 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 2: you're just in a low time. I know the holidays 134 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,240 Speaker 2: can be tough for a lot of people. They can 135 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 2: be isolating if you're alone. This sound really does have 136 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 2: a vibration that resonates with my nervous system personally, and 137 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 2: so anytime I'm feeling down or anxious, I always put 138 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 2: it on in the background and it seems to really 139 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 2: calm me. So just listen to yourself. You're gonna know 140 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 2: what to do. I'm wishing you all the most magical, 141 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 2: loving holiday season. Chip doorsh and I will be here 142 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 2: Friday with an all new interview. And y'all, when I 143 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:10,560 Speaker 2: say it was Chip's biggest fangirl moment yet, that's probably 144 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:14,000 Speaker 2: not even close to an exaggeration. So there's still more 145 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,120 Speaker 2: to comm In twenty twenty three, and then obviously we 146 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 2: will be back in twenty twenty four with all new episodes. 147 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:22,440 Speaker 2: I love you guys, and as always genuinely thank you 148 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 2: so much for listening. 149 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,960 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to The Velvet's Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson, 150 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,640 Speaker 1: where we believe everyone has a little velvet in a 151 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:33,840 Speaker 1: little edge. Subscribe for more conversations on life, style, beauty 152 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:39,280 Speaker 1: and relationships. Search Velvet's Edge wherever you get your podcasts.