WEBVTT - Resting Betch Face with Jordana Abraham 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.640 Hell I Suck a Dating with Dengler and dared Haven 0:00:05.559 --> 0:00:13.080 Radio podcast. Welcome back Sucky Daters to an all new 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:16.640 episode of Help I Suck At Dating. Dean on Alert 0:00:16.840 --> 0:00:21.040 is uh still down in Mexico, people, He's still drinking 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:24.360 some tequila with his bachelor friends, hopefully being very safe 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:29.360 and probably playing horrible golf. But of course Jedevieve Paris 0:00:29.520 --> 0:00:32.000 is back co hosting with me, which is fantastic, And 0:00:32.040 --> 0:00:34.239 we have a very special guest who is on the 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:36.920 line right now. She is the co founder and chief 0:00:37.040 --> 0:00:43.879 innovation officer of Betch's Media, which is huge. Everybody knows Betches. Uh. 0:00:43.920 --> 0:00:47.440 It is Geordana Abraham, Geordanna, how are you. I'm great, 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:50.440 Thanks for having me. I'm I'm excited to be here 0:00:50.479 --> 0:00:54.840 talking about dating, you know. I mean, well, you have 0:00:54.920 --> 0:00:57.400 all the good things. I mean, I feel like if 0:00:57.400 --> 0:00:59.680 there's anybody that's gonna talk about dating, it's the it's 0:00:59.720 --> 0:01:03.080 one of the co founders of Batches. Uh. What you 0:01:03.120 --> 0:01:07.040 guys do there is incredible. I mean I have some 0:01:07.080 --> 0:01:10.480 stats right here that you guys, You guys have an audience, 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:15.880 a growing community, if you will, of forty three million people. 0:01:16.160 --> 0:01:18.920 And it's only just growing after that. How does that 0:01:18.959 --> 0:01:21.240 make you feel, like knowing that you created something that's 0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:26.600 this ginormous in this chinormous uh, this impactful. Um, it's 0:01:26.680 --> 0:01:29.440 very surreal. You know. I started Badges with my two 0:01:29.600 --> 0:01:33.280 co founders about eleven years ago out of our college apartment. 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:36.680 So it's definitely and we were just we didn't start 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:38.440 it to be a business. We just started it kind 0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:40.800 of just like messing around in our apartment because we 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:43.560 had a lot of free time. Um. And it's kind 0:01:43.560 --> 0:01:45.760 of incredible to see where it's gone and come in 0:01:45.760 --> 0:01:47.400 the past eleven years and that we have this whole 0:01:47.400 --> 0:01:51.280 company and that we can make people laugh every day 0:01:51.400 --> 0:01:54.800 and just form a community for them. Did you ever 0:01:54.800 --> 0:01:58.840 see it and get getting to this point? Like I think, Um, 0:01:58.880 --> 0:02:03.160 a good uh uh parallel or analogy would be something 0:02:03.200 --> 0:02:05.920 like barstool Sports, if you don't mind me comparing, Like 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:08.399 I look at Dave Portnoy and like how he talks 0:02:08.440 --> 0:02:10.440 about barstool Sports and where it started and where it 0:02:10.520 --> 0:02:12.760 is now and what you guys like you just said, 0:02:12.760 --> 0:02:15.399 we were like, yeah, we just started like in our 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:18.800 house talking and then now it's grown into this multi 0:02:19.040 --> 0:02:22.480 million dollar platform for sure. Yeah, there's definitely a lot 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:25.400 of um of parallels, and I think it almost in 0:02:25.400 --> 0:02:27.520 some ways, I think it's great to start a business 0:02:27.560 --> 0:02:29.720 not trying to start a business, because you really are 0:02:29.760 --> 0:02:32.040 focused on just like having fun in the content. And 0:02:32.080 --> 0:02:35.320 I think that that really is what appeals to people 0:02:35.400 --> 0:02:37.600 when you know what I mean, you're not like immediately 0:02:37.639 --> 0:02:39.680 figuring out how to monetize or how to make money. 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:41.680 Like we were just seniors in college just kind of 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:44.920 like trying to make sense of the world around us. Um, 0:02:45.000 --> 0:02:48.120 And it really just naturally came out of that, and 0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:50.680 then you know, we were like it got some traction 0:02:50.680 --> 0:02:52.760 and we were like this seems better than getting a 0:02:52.800 --> 0:02:56.840 real job, so let's just keep doing this. Yeah. Um. 0:02:56.880 --> 0:02:58.680 And it's like, you know, I think that you see 0:02:58.680 --> 0:03:02.360 on Instagram everything looks like it's like overnight success or 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:06.280 like really linear linear progress. But like the truth of 0:03:06.280 --> 0:03:08.200 the matter is like there's a lot of highs and 0:03:08.240 --> 0:03:11.560 lows and it's not really like it's not just like 0:03:11.639 --> 0:03:14.480 everything you do is a success. Everything you see online 0:03:14.560 --> 0:03:16.839 like there's usually like five things that didn't work out 0:03:16.880 --> 0:03:22.160 behind it. Um. So it has been a journey, and uh, 0:03:22.200 --> 0:03:24.880 it's great to be here and looking back and it's 0:03:24.919 --> 0:03:28.240 just pretty incredible. Yeah, did you ever have a moment 0:03:28.280 --> 0:03:31.280 where you thought it wasn't gonna work? Totally? A lot 0:03:31.400 --> 0:03:35.160 of times, I think, especially in those early years, um, 0:03:35.720 --> 0:03:40.520 we weren't really making that much money, and I remember thinking, um, 0:03:40.600 --> 0:03:44.000 you know, should I just get a job from someone 0:03:44.040 --> 0:03:46.000 who's just going to pay me a steady salary because 0:03:46.000 --> 0:03:49.360 this is very you know, unpredictable, and I have like 0:03:49.400 --> 0:03:50.800 a rent to pay and I don't want to live 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:53.480 in my parents house anymore. Um, So there was definitely 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:56.400 moments that I thought of that. But thankfully, you know, 0:03:56.400 --> 0:03:58.160 the three of us are friends and we've always been 0:03:58.160 --> 0:04:00.240 able to really encourage each other and sort of like 0:04:00.280 --> 0:04:04.040 get past those moments and stick it out. And now 0:04:04.680 --> 0:04:08.520 it all worked out. So glad we're glad we didn't well. Yeah, 0:04:08.640 --> 0:04:10.400 And the reason I asked is because as a as 0:04:10.400 --> 0:04:12.280 a new business owner, my wife and I just opened 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:14.680 up a coffee shop and lounge. I mean, of course, 0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:16.280 there are like so many nights where I'm like it's 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:19.120 gonna fail and I'm going to ruin my family and 0:04:19.400 --> 0:04:22.120 it's all going to go to ship. Um, And obviously 0:04:22.880 --> 0:04:24.520 I guess my question is and I feel like a 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:26.640 lot of business owners go through similar situations to that. 0:04:26.720 --> 0:04:28.479 So I wanted to really bring up the idea that, 0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:31.120 like you said, it's all not just glits and glamor, 0:04:31.200 --> 0:04:34.200 and it doesn't all it's not just always successful, like 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:36.159 you had probably a lot of moments. You've created one 0:04:36.200 --> 0:04:38.760 of the biggest companies, you know, in the world, I 0:04:38.800 --> 0:04:42.520 would argue and and then, um, you know you. I'm 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:46.080 sure you had moments that you were like, I don't 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:48.520 know what I'm doing and I'm not sure if this 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:50.080 is gonna work out. And I think that's important for 0:04:50.080 --> 0:04:53.320 a lot of people to hear. And I think that, 0:04:53.400 --> 0:04:56.680 like you, uh, younger people a lot of the times 0:04:56.680 --> 0:05:00.919 have like a very skewed vision of what it looks 0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:03.320 like because you only see the things that work out. 0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:05.320 So you just kind of assume some people like have 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:07.520 it figured it out and other people don't. And I 0:05:07.560 --> 0:05:09.200 think everyone is kind of like trying to do the 0:05:09.240 --> 0:05:12.760 best they can and it's not like this person successful 0:05:12.760 --> 0:05:15.680 in this person isn't. It's kind of like you only 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:19.240 can compare yourself to yourself and just keep going and 0:05:19.279 --> 0:05:32.240 trying as hard as you can. So you host a 0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:36.440 podcast called You Up which first is fantastic. Now you 0:05:36.520 --> 0:05:40.840 host it with Jared Freed, is it Freed it right? Yes? 0:05:41.080 --> 0:05:45.080 The other Yes, the other Jared, the way funnier Jared, 0:05:45.160 --> 0:05:48.040 and the way cooler Jared. I met him briefly one time. 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:51.560 He was super nice. And obviously I watched his Bachelor 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:54.560 recaps where he's screaming into the phone and it's it's 0:05:54.600 --> 0:05:56.920 the funniest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. 0:05:57.080 --> 0:06:01.160 And that's not hyperpoly. I you with Ashley all the time, 0:06:01.600 --> 0:06:07.000 and um, so I want to ask Genevieve is on 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:11.440 the podcast today and and she's single, recently off the 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:15.719 most recent season of The Bachelor. So georgana, what the 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:17.919 hell is dating like? Because I'm married now, I've been 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:19.400 married for a few years, so I'm out of the 0:06:19.440 --> 0:06:22.240 dating game. What the hell is dating like? In two 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:25.480 and how can Genevieve navigate this world? It's a very 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:30.200 broad question. That's like just a huge umbrella. And then 0:06:30.240 --> 0:06:33.000 you go, here's exactly here's what to do. Um. I 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:36.080 mean to be honest, I am also married. I got 0:06:36.080 --> 0:06:39.120 married in November. Um, and congratulations to you by the 0:06:39.120 --> 0:06:43.320 way on your baby like huge, also huge. I haven't 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:45.440 even gotten a chance that I'm a huge Bachelor fan, 0:06:45.560 --> 0:06:48.400 huge plant fan of you and Ashley and you know, 0:06:48.600 --> 0:06:50.880 the whole the whole thing. I've been a watcher. So 0:06:50.920 --> 0:06:54.640 we used to do recaps on batch is actually, um, 0:06:55.000 --> 0:06:56.800 like the three of us, the three founders, used to 0:06:56.800 --> 0:06:58.640 write them ourselves and we would like write them and 0:06:58.680 --> 0:07:00.200 then send them to each other and edit and then 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:02.600 we spent probably spent like six hours writing these Bachelor 0:07:02.640 --> 0:07:05.440 recaps in the beginning of Batches a week and it 0:07:05.480 --> 0:07:08.640 was like our favorite thing to do. UM. So huge 0:07:08.640 --> 0:07:12.280 fans of the franchise and you guys. Um. In terms 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:15.960 of dating, bringing back to that question, I think, Um, 0:07:16.000 --> 0:07:18.680 you know, I haven't necessarily been in the game in 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:21.360 a bit, but I we What we do on you 0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:26.200 Up is we answer emails from daters across the country 0:07:26.240 --> 0:07:28.880 of all different ages and uh, you know, all different 0:07:28.880 --> 0:07:31.680 relationships status is, And I mean it really depends on 0:07:31.800 --> 0:07:35.800 like what you're looking to get out of, like what 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:37.560 your dilemma is. Do you feel like you have a 0:07:37.600 --> 0:07:42.440 specific dilemma? No, I don't. I think I'm just trying, 0:07:42.480 --> 0:07:44.840 like I haven't found the one, like I since I 0:07:44.920 --> 0:07:46.840 was a kid, I've been saying I want a family, 0:07:46.880 --> 0:07:49.480 I want kids. I want to be a wife, and 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:51.520 it just hasn't marked out. Like I think if I 0:07:51.560 --> 0:07:54.640 had found my person years ago, I would be married 0:07:54.720 --> 0:07:57.640 right now, hopefully with a kid. But it's just I 0:07:57.680 --> 0:08:00.080 don't know, is it. Do you feel like the guy 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:02.920 is that you're seeing that you're dating or not just 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:04.960 not matches for you, or do you feel like you 0:08:05.000 --> 0:08:07.320 have like three month ors that kind of like fizzle out, 0:08:07.520 --> 0:08:08.840 or like what do you feel like is like the 0:08:08.960 --> 0:08:13.120 common theme within common theme in the past, like three 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:15.600 years living in l A's just the guys are just 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:18.240 not I don't click with them after such an East 0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:21.240 Coaster and it's so different out there, and the guys 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:23.480 are very different, and they're all like they just don't 0:08:23.480 --> 0:08:25.960 want to settle down, and I want to. So I 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:29.360 think maybe that's like a problem. So are you finding 0:08:29.400 --> 0:08:31.280 this out that they're not looking to settle down on 0:08:31.360 --> 0:08:34.000 like date date one two, or you like dating them 0:08:34.000 --> 0:08:36.400 for a while. No, I won't even continue No, I'll 0:08:36.400 --> 0:08:39.400 find that out on date one or two. Okay, Well 0:08:39.720 --> 0:08:42.600 I want to continue on with them, because that's just 0:08:42.640 --> 0:08:44.640 a waste of my time. I've learned. One good thing 0:08:44.720 --> 0:08:46.720 is I've learned to not waste my time. If I 0:08:46.760 --> 0:08:48.439 know it's not someone, I'm not going to keep going 0:08:48.440 --> 0:08:50.800 on dates with them. I think that's a huge thing 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:52.480 to learn, and I think you should give yourself a 0:08:52.520 --> 0:08:54.439 lot of credit for that, because there's a lot of people, 0:08:54.480 --> 0:08:57.400 my my former single self included, that used to just 0:08:57.480 --> 0:08:59.440 spend a lot of time just trying to like make 0:08:59.480 --> 0:09:02.280 everything whole thing work despite all the signs in front 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:04.760 of me that like the person was like not going 0:09:04.800 --> 0:09:07.160 to be interested in something serious, or that they weren't 0:09:07.200 --> 0:09:09.880 going to be like looking for a commitment. And I 0:09:09.920 --> 0:09:12.679 think if you can figure out how to like wead 0:09:12.720 --> 0:09:14.480 that out a lot earlier, which it sounds like you 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:17.560 um have figured out, you save yourself so much time 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:21.160 and then it just becomes really like a numbers game. Um. 0:09:21.200 --> 0:09:22.640 But do you feel like you're you're kind of like 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:26.360 disillusioned with the dating scene or you, um like, how 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:28.360 you like, how do you do you get excited to 0:09:28.400 --> 0:09:30.520 go on dates? Or are you kind of like it 0:09:30.559 --> 0:09:32.800 feels like a chore? No, because I think it's been 0:09:32.880 --> 0:09:35.560 so long that I've enjoyed going on a date because 0:09:35.600 --> 0:09:39.600 like usually it's not great. But um, I mean it's 0:09:39.600 --> 0:09:42.079 not I haven't been on a date. I haven't dated 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:44.920 like really since I got off the show, but before 0:09:45.040 --> 0:09:47.400 I was trying like dating apps and stuff, and I 0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:51.320 never got excited about going like meeting, like setting a plan, 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:53.880 getting ready going to meet someone just to see if 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:56.520 I like them. But that's also on me because I 0:09:56.559 --> 0:10:00.560 haven't been very proactive and trying to date. So yeah, 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:02.320 I think we see that a lot too, and like 0:10:02.400 --> 0:10:04.280 the emails from our audience on you Up and that 0:10:04.360 --> 0:10:08.120 kind of thing where it can feel like not fun 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:10.360 and kind of tiring, and then you're just not in 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:12.280 this like positive mood about it. And we like to 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:14.640 say there's almost like a spectrum of being a data 0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:17.080 um where you want to be in between it. So 0:10:17.120 --> 0:10:19.719 there's like the there's the people who were like a 0:10:19.760 --> 0:10:22.160 little naive and delusional and every guy there they meet 0:10:22.200 --> 0:10:24.880 there like he's perfect and like they're ignoring all the 0:10:24.920 --> 0:10:28.320 signs so that they're not particularly interested. And then on 0:10:28.320 --> 0:10:30.920 the other side of the spectrum, there's like that kind 0:10:30.920 --> 0:10:33.400 of like bitter like I've been around the block, like 0:10:33.480 --> 0:10:36.119 he's not going to call, like a little bit negative attitude, 0:10:36.640 --> 0:10:39.600 and I think they're both kind of not great in 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:41.120 their own way. And the goal I think is to 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:42.880 be somewhere in the middle where you're sort of like 0:10:43.000 --> 0:10:47.720 realistically optimistic. But I think if you're not having fun, 0:10:48.880 --> 0:10:52.600 I would take a break personally, because like I feel 0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:54.760 like if you're showing up to a date and you're 0:10:54.800 --> 0:10:57.160 not excited to be there and you're not even if again, 0:10:57.240 --> 0:10:59.319 and I think you have to have like pretty low expectations, 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:02.599 Like the expectation could just be like an interesting conversation 0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:04.520 with a new person that I don't know that like 0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:09.080 might be able to stay something kind of funny or interesting. Um. 0:11:09.120 --> 0:11:10.640 And I can see why if you're going on for 0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:14.160 those a week you're like, this isn't fun anymore. Um. 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:16.839 But I think the idea would be like to take 0:11:16.880 --> 0:11:18.839 a break to go back when you're like I miss 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:21.360 going on dates. I'm like a little excited at the 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:24.320 idea of like meeting someone new. Um. So that's what 0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:27.240 I would recommend, thank you. Yeah. No, And I actually 0:11:27.280 --> 0:11:28.680 I don't know if I said something wrong, but I 0:11:28.679 --> 0:11:32.320 actually haven't been going on dates. I'm going on for 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:35.679 even one day a week. Um, So I think I've 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:38.719 taken too much of a break. Now now I'm not 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:41.120 like I'm like, okay, well I'm not used to going 0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:42.960 on dates, so now I have to get myself to 0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:45.320 start trying. I think because I kind of have the 0:11:45.320 --> 0:11:47.560 opposite problem where I'm just I haven't been on any 0:11:47.600 --> 0:11:49.960 and I have no desire to. But so the idea 0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:52.600 of a date doesn't like excite you. I think it's 0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:54.640 just because I don't know if I liked if I 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:57.040 meet someone out and I enjoy like talking to them 0:11:57.040 --> 0:11:58.319 for a little and then they asked me how to 0:11:58.360 --> 0:12:00.560 d I think I would be excited for that. But 0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:02.520 it's just like the dating apps. When I don't know 0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:05.240 people face to face and I'm just like messaging them 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:07.840 to get ready and go out to meet them, it's 0:12:08.000 --> 0:12:10.640 not the most exciting for me. I don't like it 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:13.080 because you can't tell the I always say, like, you 0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:16.200 can't really tell chemistry until you're like in person, like 0:12:16.360 --> 0:12:19.720 you could take It's really almost like you could talk. 0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:22.280 You could tax someone for a whole week and think 0:12:22.320 --> 0:12:24.079 it's going well, and then you see them with five 0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:26.480 minutes you know, like it's just you don't it's not 0:12:26.520 --> 0:12:30.640 a vibe. So I totally understand that. Yeah, and then 0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:32.520 it's like tough because I don't want to be meeting 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:34.200 I don't want to go on four dates a week. 0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:39.640 So yeah, I think I think technology is just ruining 0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:44.840 relationships and love and ruining life. Well, I I agree, 0:12:44.960 --> 0:12:47.400 I'm being facetious, but I agree and disagree a little 0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:49.640 bit one because I think in a lot of way, 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:51.600 a lot of ways, it helps you can connect with 0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:54.000 people you've never connected with before. You can date people 0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:56.120 like you go on a dating app, right, like back 0:12:56.240 --> 0:12:58.480 in forty fifty years ago, it was like you just 0:12:58.559 --> 0:13:00.920 dated whoever was in your neighborhood to wherever you work with, 0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:02.839 and now you can like date people from all over 0:13:02.880 --> 0:13:05.880 the world. Having said that, the problem is, I feel 0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:08.720 that like sometimes in this instant gratification world that we have, 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:12.000 like if you don't get like a like a non 0:13:12.040 --> 0:13:14.320 instant gratification, but like I feel like people just like 0:13:14.840 --> 0:13:18.960 almost romanticized love a little bit too much, which, as 0:13:18.960 --> 0:13:22.800 a guy coming from the Bachelor franchise, is a little hypocritical, 0:13:22.800 --> 0:13:26.480 But I digress, because sometimes it's not going to be 0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:28.640 good and sometimes it's gonna be bad, and I feel 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:32.640 like sometimes people just forget that if it's not always good, 0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:36.800 then they feel like, oh, well, then this obviously isn't 0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:38.560 the person for me, and I haven't met the one yet. 0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:40.360 It's like, well, maybe you have, but maybe there's just 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:41.880 certain things that you need to work through. And it's 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:44.760 a balance, right because if the if the bad outweighs 0:13:44.760 --> 0:13:46.679 the good, then of course, like yeah, break up. If 0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:48.480 you're not having fun, then get the hell out of 0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:50.439 the relationship. But I also feel like I've heard from 0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:53.120 so many of my younger friends where they're like, oh, 0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:55.480 everything is great, but there's this one thing and I 0:13:55.480 --> 0:13:57.040 don't know if I can get past it. And it's 0:13:57.040 --> 0:13:59.360 like I just feel like there's always gonna be a 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:01.600 one thing, Like there's always going to be that one 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:06.480 thing no matter who you meet. Totally agree, um, And 0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:08.800 I think you know, we live in a it's only 0:14:09.280 --> 0:14:12.440 marriage has only really been about like romantic love for 0:14:12.559 --> 0:14:16.920 even probably like seventy or so years if that, And 0:14:16.960 --> 0:14:19.480 so before that, I think people weren't getting married or 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:23.320 looking for dating or meeting people looking for someone to 0:14:23.360 --> 0:14:27.920 fill every single box that they have like they are now. 0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:30.280 Like I think now people assume there's someone out there 0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:34.200 that's completely perfect, and that's just not the case. Like 0:14:34.280 --> 0:14:37.560 we're not perfect. People we meet aren't perfect. The goal 0:14:37.680 --> 0:14:40.720 is to not find someone who like checks every single box. 0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:42.840 It's someone who you can get along with, who shares 0:14:42.880 --> 0:14:45.800 your values. But if you have certain things that you 0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:47.920 don't that you aren't a eye to eye on, it 0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:50.160 doesn't mean that you need to throw in the towel. 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:52.360 I think that, like, you can have many people in 0:14:52.360 --> 0:14:55.000 your life whople feel all sorts of different needs for you. 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:10.120 I'm curious to see where marriage goes over the next 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:13.160 seventy years. So just because like you said, I think 0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:15.560 marriage has evolved. It's changed like it used to be 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:19.320 for social status or for for protection, and you would 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:22.480 marry someone because it's just like the way life went. 0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:25.160 That's how you survived. And then obviously it has changed 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:29.840 now into more loving and soulmates and uh, you want 0:15:29.840 --> 0:15:32.040 to like commit to someone for the rest of your life. 0:15:32.080 --> 0:15:34.640 And I'm curious now with obviously like the VORTS rates 0:15:34.680 --> 0:15:38.160 going up and people being single single later in life, 0:15:38.520 --> 0:15:41.480 if it's going to evolve in another seventy years where 0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:44.680 people are just not getting married as much anymore because 0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:47.960 they're like, well, I do want to commit to someone, 0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:49.640 but I'm not sure if I want to commit for 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:51.240 my entire life. And I also don't know if I 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:53.720 want to bring paperwork into it. So I'm curious if 0:15:53.840 --> 0:15:59.920 like the the the like the culture around malle marriage. 0:16:00.560 --> 0:16:05.640 I sounded like the priest from that movie. Oh my god, 0:16:06.200 --> 0:16:14.560 what's the movie with Carl Yules, he's the princess bride. Marriage. Yes, yes, marriage. 0:16:14.720 --> 0:16:17.880 It sounds familiar. But I don't remember what you're saying, dude. 0:16:18.000 --> 0:16:20.400 I'm sorry, I do. I remember that you did a 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:24.640 good impression. I remember that, Thank you. I appreciate it. Marriage. 0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:28.720 Georgiana was telling Genevieve earlier that, uh, now that I 0:16:28.760 --> 0:16:30.520 own the coffee shop, like I hiart a lot of 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:34.640 college kids, there's a generational gap, like I feel. So 0:16:35.000 --> 0:16:38.160 I'm not old, but man, do I feel old. Ashley 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:39.640 was there last night too, and she's like, I don't 0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:41.200 think I've ever felt older in my life, just being 0:16:41.200 --> 0:16:44.320 surrounded by like twenty two year olds who just they 0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:50.320 think they think like Taylor Swift is old. It's so funny. Um. Yeah, 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:53.040 I mean, I think the new gen Z has a 0:16:53.080 --> 0:16:57.160 whole new set of of thoughts on tradition and and 0:16:57.480 --> 0:17:01.440 anything that's really like traditional or like And I think 0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:02.920 it's good in a way because I think they're really 0:17:03.000 --> 0:17:06.920 reevaluating these these practices that were put in place in 0:17:06.960 --> 0:17:10.160 a time or it doesn't really make necessarily the same 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:13.199 amount of sense that it did before. But I do 0:17:13.280 --> 0:17:16.000 think that there is there are many benefits to I'm 0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:18.199 pro marriage. I do think there are many benefits to 0:17:18.280 --> 0:17:20.639 marriage and long term relationships. And I don't think it's 0:17:20.680 --> 0:17:22.840 about like you said, I don't really believe in soulmates. 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:24.560 I don't even really believe in the one. But I 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:28.280 do believe in finding a partner that you that you 0:17:28.320 --> 0:17:30.359 love and that you enjoy spending time with, and that 0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:33.040 you can see has the qualities to like raise children 0:17:33.119 --> 0:17:35.000 and and be a good partner long term. Because I 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:37.480 do think the beauty of marriage, and the thing that 0:17:37.560 --> 0:17:40.080 won't ever really get outdated is the idea of like 0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:43.480 being able to go through life with someone and experience 0:17:43.560 --> 0:17:45.919 all those highs and lows with the same person. And 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:47.920 I think that that's like a bond. You can't really 0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:51.800 find anywhere else someone to to to seeing like the 0:17:51.840 --> 0:17:53.800 really bad parts and the really good parts, And they 0:17:53.960 --> 0:17:56.320 were there twenty years ago when you were doing this, 0:17:56.440 --> 0:17:58.199 and now they're in this phase of life with you, 0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:00.199 like it's a partner to really go through all the 0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:03.080 phases with. And I think that like anything else, it 0:18:03.160 --> 0:18:07.040 probably has its it's points when it's not great. And 0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:09.760 then I think if you can like kind of get 0:18:09.760 --> 0:18:12.720 through those and you can stay with that person and 0:18:12.760 --> 0:18:14.479 you can do you get to know them even probably 0:18:14.520 --> 0:18:17.359 better through those phases, then it just makes that bond 0:18:17.440 --> 0:18:20.680 much stronger. And that I don't I don't think it'll 0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:23.400 marriage will go away completely ever, because I do think 0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:26.639 that's just like a huge important thing in society and 0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:28.840 just in for your own mental health. I think that 0:18:29.240 --> 0:18:32.360 relationships you're like a humans are like dependent people. They're 0:18:32.359 --> 0:18:35.200 codependent and that's not a bad thing. And I think 0:18:35.240 --> 0:18:39.399 that like the idea of it is is still something 0:18:39.440 --> 0:18:44.359 that shouldn't be discarded. Yeah, I think you said it 0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:47.919 really well. Damn when did you start matches? I started 0:18:47.920 --> 0:18:51.240 betches my senior year in college, um, with my two 0:18:51.320 --> 0:18:55.960 roommates in all right, here's another big umbrella question. I 0:18:56.119 --> 0:18:58.960 was dating changed since then? I was dating changed? Well, 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:01.719 when I was in college age there were no dating apps, 0:19:02.400 --> 0:19:08.480 so obviously yeah, big change. Um. And I remember when 0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:12.240 Tinder was launched in like what was it. So it's 0:19:12.240 --> 0:19:14.520 the year after we graduated and we were like, what 0:19:14.600 --> 0:19:16.720 the hell is this and every single part it was 0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:19.240 like a brunch and like every single person had downloaded 0:19:19.240 --> 0:19:21.800 this app and it was like so fun. We were 0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:23.720 all just like swiping away. We were like, this is 0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:27.320 the coolest thing that's ever existed. And now, um, ten 0:19:27.400 --> 0:19:31.440 years later it's we're probably like like, like I thought, 0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:33.800 you know what I mean, it's like the novelty kind 0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:36.800 of feels like it is more and off for that, 0:19:37.600 --> 0:19:39.159 but the idea of it at the time was like 0:19:39.200 --> 0:19:40.840 so fun. And I do agree with you with what 0:19:40.880 --> 0:19:44.679 you were saying before, Jared about how um, you know, 0:19:45.960 --> 0:19:49.480 dating apps aren't all bad. Um, every generation probably thinks 0:19:49.480 --> 0:19:51.439 their generation is the worst to date in. But I 0:19:51.480 --> 0:19:54.320 do think there's so many benefits of dating apps. There's 0:19:54.359 --> 0:19:56.480 so many ways to meet people you would have never 0:19:57.359 --> 0:19:59.840 met in a different way. And also just like screen 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:01.960