Speaker 1: I'm Tamika D.
Speaker 2: Mallory and the ship Boy my Son in general.
Speaker 1: We are your host of TMI.
Speaker 3: Tamika and my Son's Information, Truth, Motivation and Inspiration.
Speaker 1: New Name, New Energy.
Speaker 2: So how you been this week?
Speaker 1: It's been a good week. It's been a good week.
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know, you know, it's always shit happening,
Speaker 4: like we were talking, is it a good week?
Speaker 1: Is a bad week? We live in America and we
Speaker 1: and we kill people all around.
Speaker 2: Lord, I had a really good week. Good. You know.
Speaker 2: I deal with a lot.
Speaker 3: Of schools and children and I had a speaking engagement
Speaker 3: at Garfield Academy in New Jersey and shout out to
Speaker 3: Principal Lance. He was he's a dope principal. And I
Speaker 3: sat with these young kids and the school is amazing.
Speaker 3: Like the school, it's like, you know how they talk
Speaker 3: about so what it is? They actually have a store
Speaker 3: where this is a class. They have a barbershop that's
Speaker 3: a class. They have a restaurant that's a class. They
Speaker 3: have all these things where these kids get to take
Speaker 3: those as classes.
Speaker 1: And they work using their real experience exactly.
Speaker 3: And they work in those stories and they work in
Speaker 3: them and it's dope. The whole environment is dope. And
Speaker 3: it was a lot you know, I think it's a
Speaker 3: lot of at risk youth in there, some of them.
Speaker 3: One of these kids probably was fourteen, told me how
Speaker 3: you just got shot last year four times?
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: Another kid, yeah, four times. And another fifteen year old kid.
Speaker 3: His father was you know, in the streets and got murdered.
Speaker 3: His mother died from canta, so he was dealing with
Speaker 3: a lot. It was just so many different little issues.
Speaker 3: But they were really attentive, you know, and I felt
Speaker 3: I felt like I connected with them, you know, because
Speaker 3: my story is similar to a lot of theirs, and
Speaker 3: just breaking down certain things, you know, talking to them.
Speaker 2: And at the end, they all came.
Speaker 3: Up to me, they took pictures with me, they took
Speaker 3: my phone and made me follow them on Instagram, and you.
Speaker 2: Know, it was it was, it was. It was a
Speaker 2: real like touching moment for me.
Speaker 3: And the biggest thing was at the end of the day,
Speaker 3: when I was about to leave, the principal called me
Speaker 3: in this office and said, hey, two guys that have
Speaker 3: been fighting all year, they probably had about four or
Speaker 3: five fights, you know, they want to sit here and
Speaker 3: resolve their issues while you're here, you know, based off
Speaker 3: what you said and inspired them and motivated them to
Speaker 3: want a squash to be And you know, they sat down,
Speaker 3: like two young men probably I think they're like sixteen,
Speaker 3: and one guy just admitted that he created the situation.
Speaker 2: You know, he was misinformation, miscommunication.
Speaker 3: He attacked the guy based off something and the god said, yeah,
Speaker 3: I didn't even know what that was.
Speaker 2: And at the end, you know, they.
Speaker 3: Both said they peace and they drafted up, you know,
Speaker 3: and they gave each other a hug and he was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: and I know, and it made me feel like this
Speaker 3: is working. You know, a lot of times we have
Speaker 3: a lot of different situations in this work where we
Speaker 3: I've lost kids that I was just talking to that
Speaker 3: I had just mediated situations would and two or threes later,
Speaker 3: two or threes two or three days later, they were
Speaker 3: shot and killed or incarcerated. And you take it hard
Speaker 3: because you're like, then, I wasn't able to do something
Speaker 3: to help them, well, you know, to save them from
Speaker 3: making those decisions.
Speaker 2: But when you actually get situations like.
Speaker 3: This and you see, you know that in that minute,
Speaker 3: a few minutes that you had with those kids, it
Speaker 3: transformed the thought process that's been going on for over
Speaker 3: a year with them, like literally have four fights, you know.
Speaker 1: So that's beautiful.
Speaker 4: And you know what I would say just one more
Speaker 4: point on that is, even at sixteen years old, if
Speaker 4: you're paying attention to what's happening in the world, you
Speaker 4: realize that could it really could be do a die.
Speaker 4: So if you want to live, you even have to
Speaker 4: have the emotional intelligence to stop the train before it wrecks.
Speaker 4: Good that you're doing here, just keep pushing it because
Speaker 4: you know it can be very discouraging sometimes to beat
Speaker 4: you up. They tell you that this is a lot,
Speaker 4: but you keep going and you know it brings me
Speaker 4: to purpose. Well, that's absolutely absolutely when thinking about my
Speaker 4: you know, my thought of the day today is around
Speaker 4: this idea of.
Speaker 1: Sobriety.
Speaker 4: You know, I am really I don't know if I
Speaker 4: want to say proud of me because I don't even know.
Speaker 4: I don't I really don't have all of the lexicon.
Speaker 4: I'm literally developing it. Five years later, I'm writing my
Speaker 4: first real speech about my process to get sober and
Speaker 4: what I went through and how I initially got addicted
Speaker 4: and what was at one point something that I didn't
Speaker 4: even know was a part of addiction. I had no
Speaker 4: idea the first time I swallowed a pill that it
Speaker 4: was a part of an addiction thing.
Speaker 1: And I certainly didn't understand the.
Speaker 4: Political nature of addiction and that there's actual forces working
Speaker 4: towards like I didn't think any of that. I didn't
Speaker 4: know there was a story and a situation out there
Speaker 4: in the world that can explain why we're addicted to
Speaker 4: these pills. So I didn't know. I didn't know so
Speaker 4: many other people was on it. But now that I'm
Speaker 4: more educated, and now that I'm more confident, right now
Speaker 4: that I've been able to kick shame and the ass
Speaker 4: about this particular issue and other things like you know
Speaker 4: what I'm saying, One thing i will say is one
Speaker 4: of the things that I'm beginning to realize is certain
Speaker 4: parts of my story I'm not able to tell because
Speaker 4: other people's lives will be impacted. And I'm talking about
Speaker 4: things from childhood all the way to now. You don't tell,
Speaker 4: or you don't want to disrespect or embarrass other people,
Speaker 4: even your family members and your friends. You want to
Speaker 4: be mindful, and it's very important that when we start
Speaker 4: talking about telling our stories, which people are entitled to
Speaker 4: that that we're very careful to know that your time
Speaker 4: is not everybody else's time. And because I have compassion
Speaker 4: for that, I'm careful and mindful. But there's lots of
Speaker 4: components of my life that there are people in the
Speaker 4: world who believe because they know that I did something,
Speaker 4: or I was a place, you know, a strip club,
Speaker 4: slept with this guy, did this thing or whatever, they
Speaker 4: believe that they're holding something that will just tear me
Speaker 4: to shreds. And of course, when the truth about your
Speaker 4: life and things come out, it can hurt you to
Speaker 4: hear people's opinions and to lose.
Speaker 1: Opportunities, or to have people.
Speaker 4: Don't trust you, or don't believe you or don't believe
Speaker 4: in you, of course, but I've come to know that
Speaker 4: ripping the band aid off of situations, problems, issues that
Speaker 4: you've been through can oftentimes provide you with freedom, freedom
Speaker 4: to walk forward and deal with whatever it is and
Speaker 4: kick it up under your feet, right, And so I
Speaker 4: have disassociated myself with the shame of my story around addiction.
Speaker 1: I don't have it anymore. I've thrown it out.
Speaker 4: It's taking years to get there, but I think five
Speaker 4: years of sobriety is a time when you could actually
Speaker 4: tell the full story and not worry about who feel
Speaker 4: who know, who was there, who saw you when.
Speaker 1: You was nodding out, Who to help you get the drugs,
Speaker 1: who didn't, who did this?
Speaker 5: Who?
Speaker 4: It doesn't matter because now the work that's on me
Speaker 4: is bigger than me. I have found that disassociating yourself
Speaker 4: from all of this shame and guilt that holds us
Speaker 4: down might just be the thing that we need to
Speaker 4: get free and to have the space to do things
Speaker 4: right going forward.
Speaker 3: Sounds like you have been in deep contemplation and you
Speaker 3: have really come to terms with you. You know what
Speaker 3: I'm saying, just being just understanding who you are, what
Speaker 3: you are, and just freeing yourself from all the things
Speaker 3: that bind you.
Speaker 1: TMI today is.
Speaker 4: We as women, and I saw Aman Decillo's talking on
Speaker 4: her Small Doses podcast about being too much right. We
Speaker 4: as women we do, you know, we talk when we
Speaker 4: want to. I never forget getting a call from someone
Speaker 4: very close to me who said, oh, you know, women
Speaker 4: just all day y'all just don't ever stop telling and
Speaker 4: doing and directing. But I feel like men don't, really,
Speaker 4: they say, because I've been told by a number of men,
Speaker 4: you got to say it the right way. You can't
Speaker 4: just always have an attitude. You need to stop being
Speaker 4: so this and that, and you know, and and and nagging, and.
Speaker 1: You have to nurture the right way.
Speaker 4: And you need to you know, have a certain type
Speaker 4: of positivity and this and that, and you could get
Speaker 4: a man to do anything just with your energy. I
Speaker 4: have found you could say a nice you could say
Speaker 4: it nasty, and the same result that most men do
Speaker 4: not want to be corrected and or just suggested of
Speaker 4: a new or better way to do things.
Speaker 1: Period.
Speaker 2: I don't think that's true.
Speaker 3: I really I think that delivery is everything right, because nasty,
Speaker 3: that's not true.
Speaker 2: It's not nasty or nice. Right.
Speaker 3: It's the time you say it, it's when you say it,
Speaker 3: it's how you say it. All those things come if
Speaker 3: you're correct.
Speaker 2: If a man.
Speaker 3: If a man is in the middle of a speech
Speaker 3: and he's giving it, and he's talking around people who
Speaker 3: are listening to him, and he's and he's saying something,
Speaker 3: you stopping, I don't say it that way.
Speaker 2: Don't say it that way. Say it this when you.
Speaker 3: Smile and you stop and you say it, don't say
Speaker 3: this when you smile, you think that you're saying it nice. Right,
Speaker 3: What you just did is correct him in front of
Speaker 3: people that think he knows what he's talking about. Right,
Speaker 3: So what you did is you you just you lowered
Speaker 3: a little bit of his his his status in front
Speaker 3: of people.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: You didn't whisper behind his back and say, yo, if
Speaker 3: you got a man and you with a man and
Speaker 3: you saying and something, he did something on you, wether.
Speaker 2: It's back, babe, you know what you should have did.
Speaker 2: I loved what you did.
Speaker 1: But imagine if you got right.
Speaker 3: So you gotta because it's like, but it's still a
Speaker 3: man has an ego.
Speaker 2: Everyone has an ego.
Speaker 3: You dealing with a man with an ego, and if
Speaker 3: you don't care about the man's ego, then fuck it.
Speaker 3: You can say what you want, but if you want
Speaker 3: to get the best response from a man, then you
Speaker 3: have to fill out how do I work with this individual?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: How do I talk to this man and get the
Speaker 3: best thing from this man?
Speaker 2: I know the things he likes.
Speaker 3: Especially if this is a person that you would or
Speaker 3: you're not with, or somebody that you come through with,
Speaker 3: somebody that's a friend of yours. You know the things
Speaker 3: to say to trigger that person. You know the things
Speaker 3: that he's gonna argue over. You know all of those things.
Speaker 3: So if you take the if you made a decision
Speaker 3: that you don't give a fuck, you just gonna call
Speaker 3: him out, or you're gonna to tell him what's right,
Speaker 3: however you want to say it, when you want to
Speaker 3: say it, despite how he can he takes information, how
Speaker 3: he best in takes information. It's really like I see
Speaker 3: women do it all the time. Women have no problem
Speaker 3: talking to their children, right, women with children and be like, damn,
Speaker 3: I wish they talked to me that way. There's just
Speaker 3: there's no care about what you think. You don't want
Speaker 3: to bruise the kids ego, you don't want to you
Speaker 3: don't want to stop him. You don't use certain language,
Speaker 3: you don't use certain words when you speak to him,
Speaker 3: all these things you're careful about. How you give this
Speaker 3: information to your child because you want him to receive
Speaker 3: it and you want him to feel empowered after he
Speaker 3: gets the information. Why don't you think that you should
Speaker 3: give your.
Speaker 1: Man man like you child.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, but you got to reduce yourself down like you
Speaker 4: talking to a kid in order to communicate with your
Speaker 4: man or a man. And so, ladies, my point has
Speaker 4: been proved a man himself, because.
Speaker 3: The reality is because you, because you care about how
Speaker 3: you speak to you, we just want you to speak
Speaker 3: to us with care.
Speaker 1: And I'm saying that.
Speaker 2: What is wrong for a man to want.
Speaker 1: But I just want you to know.
Speaker 3: That he feels that it's either his woman, his friend,
Speaker 3: his sister, has anything to speak life into him instead
Speaker 3: of pointing out the flaws of him, not if to
Speaker 3: find the good things. Like a woman told me the
Speaker 3: other day, you know what, somebody always points out the
Speaker 3: bad stuff. It never says anything about the good stuff.
Speaker 3: That's how men feel.
Speaker 4: And I'm just saying that a lot of I find
Speaker 4: with a lot of men.
Speaker 1: When you start trying to say, hey, listen, this needs.
Speaker 4: To be or let's try to do this, or let
Speaker 4: me tell you about this thing, it becomes a big problem.
Speaker 1: That's all. So anyway we.
Speaker 4: Can bring the guests on and and uh see how
Speaker 4: he can tell us that I'm doing too.
Speaker 2: Much too Maybe maybe he won't.
Speaker 4: We have a brother today who is well respected in
Speaker 4: many places, but certainly in New York and around the country.
Speaker 1: I was looking for someone to bond with about my
Speaker 1: sobriety five years.
Speaker 4: I'm celebrating. I didn't even know if you were supposed
Speaker 4: to say, you celebrating sobriety.
Speaker 2: Should celebration claps?
Speaker 3: You know, we got to get in my claps or snaps?
Speaker 2: No claps.
Speaker 1: I love you. You snap sometimes.
Speaker 4: When it's good. Word yeah, so you could put snaps
Speaker 4: in whatever. But you know, I contacted Erica Ford. I'm like, yo, E,
Speaker 4: who do we have that works specifically with peepeople who
Speaker 4: suffer with addiction. That helped to put people in the
Speaker 4: right direction, helping the detox, helping to get themselves together.
Speaker 4: And she was like, oh, I said for the podcast,
Speaker 4: And she's like, oh, no, I know it's one brother.
Speaker 4: You have to have him on sent me the contact
Speaker 4: and then I looked on the page.
Speaker 1: I'm like, wait a minute. We've been in.
Speaker 4: One another's community for a while, but of course I
Speaker 4: didn't know the full story. And so I'm happy that
Speaker 4: you are joining us here today.
Speaker 6: Brandon Chastang listen, man, I appreciate the love and honor.
Speaker 5: Man.
Speaker 6: It's wonderful being on set with you guys. Man, Thank you.
Speaker 2: I call him b McFly McFly my god.
Speaker 3: We've We've had many conversations, always in mind what he does,
Speaker 3: you know, and it's always been mutual respects. Sometimes we
Speaker 3: might get on live and debate, you know, over topics,
Speaker 3: but it's always in love and respect. You know, I've
Speaker 3: watched him for years in Philly just you know, he
Speaker 3: always created like what I call infomercials, and he always
Speaker 3: created really touching and passionate infomercials about what was going
Speaker 3: on in our communities and what was going on in
Speaker 3: the streets and just trying to give real life experiences
Speaker 3: and messages. So you know, I've always been a fan
Speaker 3: of what he does, and just like constantly seeing him evolve.
Speaker 3: You are someone that I might and I appreciate what
Speaker 3: you do and watching your evolution is motivational inspiration, know
Speaker 3: to me, and I know what it means to everybody else.
Speaker 2: So continue to do what you do.
Speaker 5: Thank you.
Speaker 6: It's friendly brotherly debate. I mean, like I feel like,
Speaker 6: you know, we should they should see black men speak
Speaker 6: and have emotional intelligence without you know, getting to a
Speaker 6: point where now were having a yelling match on live.
Speaker 3: You know, we usually either agree to this, but we
Speaker 3: might change each other's perspective, like, you know what, I
Speaker 3: didn't see it that way might be right, and that's
Speaker 3: that's what That's what love is, man, That's what growth.
Speaker 5: That's what it is. Man.
Speaker 1: That's a good thing. That's a good thing. So you know,
Speaker 1: it's just been a few weeks that.
Speaker 4: I am, you know in this place where I'm like, wow,
Speaker 4: five years went by fast but slow, yes, and slow.
Speaker 1: It's like you know now and I learned from you.
Speaker 1: It's been six.
Speaker 5: Years for you success. January the twenty first.
Speaker 6: I need all the months, and we got some months,
Speaker 6: and we got some mens with months with it.
Speaker 3: You.
Speaker 1: March eighteenth was when I checked in to rehab. I
Speaker 1: don't even remember the day that I checked out.
Speaker 4: I guess I should look at that because that would
Speaker 4: actually be the But it was the beginning of the journey.
Speaker 5: It was the beginning.
Speaker 4: It was March eighteenth, and I never forget my homegirl,
Speaker 4: Rachel Nordlinger dropped me off to a place in Ohio.
Speaker 4: My story which I have explained to people many times,
Speaker 4: but I swear every time every time I post about it.
Speaker 4: I've been publicly talking about my sobriety.
Speaker 1: Sent for two years, Okay, since two years in.
Speaker 4: So two years after I went to rehab, I began
Speaker 4: to talk about it.
Speaker 1: I was there.
Speaker 4: Under an alias, so people didn't know my name except
Speaker 4: the guy who happened to ask me. He was like
Speaker 4: kind of you know, he was just there. You know,
Speaker 4: they would play It was only one TV, two TVs
Speaker 4: that worked and the one in the kitchen. People watch
Speaker 4: music videos, sports shows, different things. And one day there
Speaker 4: was music videos on that my son was not in.
Speaker 4: But he asked me.
Speaker 1: Oh, do you know.
Speaker 4: You know it's a guy, he's a great rap and
Speaker 4: his name is my son. And he made it like
Speaker 4: he didn't know if I knew him or not. But
Speaker 4: I understood when he said that he knew me. And
Speaker 4: you know, so I was under an alias, but he
Speaker 4: already was on it.
Speaker 1: I think my name was like Marcia.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 4: And and in fact, I'll be honest with you. Once
Speaker 4: he he gave on or let onto the fact that
Speaker 4: he knew who I was or who I am, I
Speaker 4: was ready to leave because he was a young white boy,
Speaker 4: a young white man, excuse me, I was, and he
Speaker 4: was younger than me, he might have been twenty. We
Speaker 4: were in Ohio in a house in the woods, so
Speaker 4: it wasn't. I wasn't in a facility, in a building
Speaker 4: with security and all of that.
Speaker 1: We were literally in a house. And the story of how.
Speaker 4: I got there was Jason Williams, the NBA All Star.
Speaker 4: I knew that he had started treatment programs. I knew
Speaker 4: that he was specifically dealing with alcohol abuse. We know
Speaker 4: his story and all the trial, trials and tribulations that
Speaker 4: he faced.
Speaker 1: And I called him one.
Speaker 4: Day with a hypothetical question, like, YO, if you know
Speaker 4: somebody that has an issue, they have an addiction, you
Speaker 4: know what do we what should how?
Speaker 1: What would you tell them to do?
Speaker 4: And it's funny because when you've been through this and
Speaker 4: I know that you can speak to the amount of
Speaker 4: hypothetical questions you get that are really the person not
Speaker 4: speaking hypothetically at all.
Speaker 1: Right, I get it.
Speaker 4: All the time, every time I post, every time I
Speaker 4: talk about it, I get people. And when I say people, yes,
Speaker 4: they're just everyday individuals of course that reach out. But
Speaker 4: I'm talking about celebrities, people who are in high places
Speaker 4: that you would never imagine their children themselves are dealing
Speaker 4: with issues and they reach out and they ask me, hey, you.
Speaker 1: Know you have any resources?
Speaker 4: And I always can pick up that this person, it's
Speaker 4: really intimate what they're experiencing. So when I reached out
Speaker 4: to Jason and I said, you know, do you have
Speaker 4: any where could I go?
Speaker 1: Or who can I talk to?
Speaker 4: Or what would you suggest that a person do, he
Speaker 4: just answered the question like, well, we have resources. You
Speaker 4: want to put my people in touch with the person,
Speaker 4: so we could download whatever whatever.
Speaker 1: So I said, hey, thank you.
Speaker 4: So I went away, and I would imagine that he
Speaker 4: sat there and thought to himself, the person is her
Speaker 4: and so she ain't.
Speaker 1: Gonna put her people in touch with me.
Speaker 4: So he wrote me back a few days later and said, hey, Tea,
Speaker 4: you know, I don't know what your story is, he said,
Speaker 4: but I'm just letting you know. It doesn't get brighter,
Speaker 4: it gets darker. He said, it gets darker. The situation
Speaker 4: doesn't get better, it gets worse. And then he wrote
Speaker 4: this line, Yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Mean because it gets man. I had a friend before.
Speaker 4: That, I was out to dinner with a young This
Speaker 4: is when I first started popping pills, and I was
Speaker 4: sleeping and feeling better and numbing the world out, and
Speaker 4: I was out with my girlfriends at dinner and I
Speaker 4: told him like yeah, man, wow, like you know, and
Speaker 4: at the time, you know, it was like cool, kind
Speaker 4: of like popping some zannies and some perks.
Speaker 1: It was kind of cool.
Speaker 4: So I'm talking about it with these girls and these
Speaker 4: are my girls that we did.
Speaker 1: A little this and a little act together in so
Speaker 1: I can bring it up.
Speaker 4: And one of them said at the table, Hey, so
Speaker 4: letting you know this thing is a dark hole.
Speaker 1: You need to be mindful. It's a dark hole.
Speaker 4: So when he said that to me, I'm gonna get
Speaker 4: your reaction. When he said that to me, he said,
Speaker 4: and you want to get control over the situation before
Speaker 4: it takes.
Speaker 1: Control of you, in the form of you in.
Speaker 4: A car accident, they find the pills in your car,
Speaker 4: you and you know, you go through the airport, you
Speaker 4: get arrested for smuggling drugs.
Speaker 1: He's like, you wanna get control.
Speaker 4: Over the situation before it takes control over you. And
Speaker 4: I sat there with that for a while, but sure
Speaker 4: enough I wrote back to him and.
Speaker 1: Said I have a problem and I need help. And
Speaker 1: that was the beginning.
Speaker 5: How long were you How long were you on?
Speaker 4: So you you know, I know that I know that
Speaker 4: In two thousand and seventeen and eighteen was the worst
Speaker 4: period of it. Like that's when I was really on,
Speaker 4: you know, two thousand and two thousand and nineteen is
Speaker 4: when I went in. So twenty seventeen and eighteen was
Speaker 4: the worst time. But I can't trace back because I
Speaker 4: think even with the XANX and other things like especially Xanax,
Speaker 4: which which xan X became a backstory, like that became
Speaker 4: because once you started taking perposes, the xan X is
Speaker 4: like it's just and I'm gonna be honest, and I'll
Speaker 4: say this to anybody.
Speaker 1: I'm not ashamed about it at all at this.
Speaker 5: Point in my life.
Speaker 2: So I'm ready to talk.
Speaker 4: Whatever you asked me, I can tell you specifically, so
Speaker 4: you know, when I think back to win, I believe
Speaker 4: somewhere in two thousand and sixteen, maybe twenty sixteen, is
Speaker 4: when I first popped the zanny here and there. You know,
Speaker 4: I was sort of doing those things just to you know,
Speaker 4: taking a zan as a part of my regular party life,
Speaker 4: like regular life, regular life. But in terms of the
Speaker 4: abuse and the addiction it because I didn't need the
Speaker 4: Xanax all the time, that wasn't a thing. But in
Speaker 4: twenty and seventeen and eighteen when I started going through
Speaker 4: some like real life crises, especially political, And that's why
Speaker 4: they tell you if.
Speaker 1: You live for the applause, you will die with the booze.
Speaker 4: And once I started getting booed and people were talking.
Speaker 1: I was like, what do I do.
Speaker 4: I've never been in this position before, so you know,
Speaker 4: I could talk about this all day, but you know,
Speaker 4: in those two years, I was in a dark, dark place.
Speaker 4: And it took me all of twenty and eighteen, texting
Speaker 4: back and forth with Jason, having conversations with this one
Speaker 4: and doing this and that to actually go. So it's
Speaker 4: a process that requires patients.
Speaker 5: Man.
Speaker 6: I graduated from Lincoln University two thousand and four, and
Speaker 6: I got shot immediately after I graduated because I knew
Speaker 6: going to college is like, no disrespect to my school,
Speaker 6: no disrespect to HBCUs. But at the time, when I
Speaker 6: graduated from high school in two thousand, I thought I
Speaker 6: was going to the thirteenth grade.
Speaker 5: People was getting robbed, shot, shot at fights. I fought
Speaker 5: a lot in college college at that time.
Speaker 6: I'm sure I'm not saying it's different now, but I'm
Speaker 6: sure it's a lot. Yeah, it's way better but you know,
Speaker 6: coming from that era, and you know, you got people
Speaker 6: from New York, Philly, d C.
Speaker 5: Jersey.
Speaker 6: Everybody's trying to you know, the Internet wasn't popping, so
Speaker 6: it's like you Basically, what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 5: Is you still in the mix.
Speaker 6: And when I graduated with a criminal justice degree, I
Speaker 6: knew I was going to graduate. It was just too easy, man,
Speaker 6: and I got shot. I graduated May second, two thousand
Speaker 6: and four, got shot July fourth, two thousand and four.
Speaker 6: And that's when doctors, I say, are black people worse
Speaker 6: enemy to a certain degree, because this man said take
Speaker 6: as prescribed every six hours or as needed. Never gave
Speaker 6: me the logistics on what did it do to you?
Speaker 6: It's gonna you're gonna crave for it. Possibly you're gonna
Speaker 6: want it bad.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 6: I took that pill, and I said, I wasn't a
Speaker 6: weed smoker, but I smoke.
Speaker 5: Here in there.
Speaker 6: I drank here and there, but I wasn't addicted to that.
Speaker 6: I even took ecstasy pills, but I didn't like the
Speaker 6: after effects of it. When I first took a percocet,
Speaker 6: I said, Wow, why y'all don't sell these over the
Speaker 6: count I never even heard of these. And then I'm
Speaker 6: gonna say, from two thousand and four to twenty and eighteen,
Speaker 6: I was the worst person ever.
Speaker 1: Was.
Speaker 5: I was scyn I was a junkie, I was a.
Speaker 6: Criminal and four from two thousand and four to eighteen wow,
Speaker 6: fourteen years of my life, I was a junkie.
Speaker 5: I was. I was. I was because it go from
Speaker 5: it feels so good.
Speaker 6: I got a bullet in my knee and I'm, you know,
Speaker 6: healing up right, so now I'm walking. I'm like when
Speaker 6: I take the pill, I'm walking on this and like, yo,
Speaker 6: this pill is that powerful.
Speaker 5: And it made me.
Speaker 6: Feel extra extra, extra confident, like I'm not afraid. It's
Speaker 6: not I'm not afraid to be something. I'm not afraid
Speaker 6: to be even more of me. And then it goes
Speaker 6: from that to I went from taking pills for the
Speaker 6: physical pain to taking pills for the mental pain. My
Speaker 6: father used to sell me pills, and I used to
Speaker 6: ask myself, I'm spending I'm giving my father more money
Speaker 6: for pills than.
Speaker 5: He ever gave me in my life. He knew that
Speaker 5: this was it controlled me.
Speaker 6: I did everything under the sun for my pills, except
Speaker 6: doing anything with another man, or put somebody in jail,
Speaker 6: anything else you could think of, which I'm not gonna
Speaker 6: say I'm proud of or whatever, but I probably did it.
Speaker 1: It was the serious because you know this, because we've
Speaker 1: discussed it.
Speaker 5: I mean it.
Speaker 1: Finally, my son and a few other people were really
Speaker 1: aware of how bad the situation.
Speaker 4: Yea controlled you that I was already, but like they
Speaker 4: were aware of the depth of it, and when I
Speaker 4: was trying to explain it, it was like they felt
Speaker 4: sorry for me because I'm like, I cannot period just
Speaker 4: stopped taking pis.
Speaker 5: No way because because of the withdrawal.
Speaker 6: You ever had the flu, you ever catch covid or
Speaker 6: it's ten times worse than those two combine. My eyes
Speaker 6: are hurting, my phlangies, my fingertips are hurting, I'm sweating,
Speaker 6: I'm cold sweats, and it's like, I don't It got to.
Speaker 5: The point where I say, I would rather die.
Speaker 6: Because I because I'm I'm I'm facing humiliation now and
Speaker 6: I don't want to face that.
Speaker 5: I don't want to.
Speaker 6: Let the world know that I need help. So it's
Speaker 6: like my my ego, my pride. It's like, yo, bro,
Speaker 6: you are junkie out here, so what I still don't
Speaker 6: want to let people know I need help.
Speaker 5: So every single day I yearned for these pills.
Speaker 6: I did, boy like like like, and that's why. And
Speaker 6: when I hit, when I went to rehab, like man,
Speaker 6: when I think about the things that I did to
Speaker 6: get these pills, and I hear these stories of men
Speaker 6: giving their bodies to other men because the pills controlled them,
Speaker 6: and I'm looking back, like, boy, you better not laugh,
Speaker 6: because you probably could have been.
Speaker 4: The next one time, one more thing.
Speaker 6: Like like, I'm two seconds away from doing something to
Speaker 6: the extreme.
Speaker 1: And then and then they were worried.
Speaker 4: He was specifically worried because it was only a few
Speaker 4: people that knew but worried about where I was getting
Speaker 4: this thing.
Speaker 5: And that's a.
Speaker 4: Whole other side of the of the like for me
Speaker 4: to meek a mallory to be out here, which they
Speaker 4: were already after me, right, already under scrutiny, and here
Speaker 4: I'm going trying to hustle around and have a conversation
Speaker 4: with this friend and do this that in.
Speaker 6: The third to get them to get and you're gonna
Speaker 6: go to the extreme, right, You're gonna go to defense.
Speaker 5: Man.
Speaker 6: I would walk I would walk in the rain. I mean,
Speaker 6: I didn't take sit See, I was so in debt
Speaker 6: with it. Were was just to the point I just
Speaker 6: wanted to die.
Speaker 4: Bro.
Speaker 6: I used to ask God, Yo, listen, don't wake me
Speaker 6: up the next day because I'm no good. Please let
Speaker 6: me die a high depth, please, man, a high depth,
Speaker 6: like I'm no good to my kids, I'm no good
Speaker 6: to me because I'm my My life is just. You
Speaker 6: went from being the man and getting all the women
Speaker 6: in college and this and that, so now you're begging, yo,
Speaker 6: bro let me borrow twenty dollars. Man, I got you.
Speaker 6: You'll be me flying. You don't never be asking to
Speaker 6: borrow twenty dollars.
Speaker 5: Bro. I really need it.
Speaker 6: And I thought I was cool. And when I look back,
Speaker 6: I'm like, Yo, I'm no good than me. I'm no
Speaker 6: good to my children, I'm no good to the community.
Speaker 5: I am.
Speaker 6: I am scum. God, don't wake me up please. And
Speaker 6: every time I used to wake up, I used to
Speaker 6: be like, yo, I'm up, yo. And now I gotta go.
Speaker 6: You making me suffer going through this pain over and
Speaker 6: over and over again. I gotta go through withdraw, I
Speaker 6: gotta go through the constipation. I gotta go through every
Speaker 6: single thing? Why are you putting me through this pain?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 6: Your stepfather died, your mother died, your father's selling you
Speaker 6: pills every Why am I going through this?
Speaker 2: Damn?
Speaker 5: So?
Speaker 3: How many?
Speaker 2: How many times did you actually try to stop?
Speaker 5: Bro? I tried to stop, maybe.
Speaker 2: Before you actually succeed.
Speaker 6: I tried to stop when I went to I went
Speaker 6: to yell, and I stopped because I'm like, I'm not
Speaker 6: going in there on the week shit. And my mind
Speaker 6: is like something went through my body, like you're gonna
Speaker 6: go through something, but you're still gonna You're gonna prepare
Speaker 6: yourself for jail. Right, So I'm gonna say I probably
Speaker 6: stopped like three times. But then once my mother passed away.
Speaker 6: She had me at fifteen, so she passed away at
Speaker 6: forty eight years old.
Speaker 5: She was young. I'm a couple seconds away from being
Speaker 5: forty eight forty two.
Speaker 6: Once she passed away, and once I seemed like, yo, listen,
Speaker 6: my life is going down. She passed away from a
Speaker 6: drug overdose. My father is selling me drugs and he
Speaker 6: was a drug addict. I'm just surrounded with no hope,
Speaker 6: and I was the only hope.
Speaker 5: Oh beat me fly. He went to school and he
Speaker 5: did see he did.
Speaker 6: I'm the only hope man bro. Shout out to my
Speaker 6: kids mother, my core parent. She kept fighting for me.
Speaker 6: She kept fighting with me. She was enabling me to
Speaker 6: but she also kept fighting.
Speaker 1: All your help enable you the.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't want to see you, they don't want
Speaker 5: to I used to lie to her, Yo, Bro, I
Speaker 5: used to lie to her.
Speaker 6: And YO, listen, they got me kidnapped. They say they
Speaker 6: need a thousand dollars. I used to make up like
Speaker 6: all type of anything to get this drug and choice,
Speaker 6: and back then it was it wasn't no cash at
Speaker 6: I got to.
Speaker 5: Go to Western Union, Western Union and my co parent.
Speaker 6: Man, we not together whatever, But I love her the
Speaker 6: life like I I like, I like. She just kept
Speaker 6: and she put me in rehabiting arms acres. Shout out
Speaker 6: the arms acres upstate, New York.
Speaker 2: How many do you have? Four children?
Speaker 6: My son he's twenty three, my daughter nineteen, My son
Speaker 6: is fourteen, and my daughter's nine.
Speaker 2: So I have that process like them seeing you go
Speaker 2: through that.
Speaker 6: I missed my daughter, So shout out to my daughter
Speaker 6: and my oldest daughter, Tam. It was ten years in
Speaker 6: my life that I missed with her. The drug addiction,
Speaker 6: and it's like we never mister b to this day,
Speaker 6: like like she honored me, like she honors me. But
Speaker 6: my oldest son, he really didn't feel it too much.
Speaker 6: But my two youngest ones dead, they all felt it.
Speaker 6: But it's like it's it's just weird how it's levels.
Speaker 6: It's different levels for all of them. My oldest daughter
Speaker 6: felt it the most. And I used to beat myself up, man,
Speaker 6: because it's like drug.
Speaker 5: Addiction took over me. It wasn't me.
Speaker 6: I got shot and I just it just said, yo,
Speaker 6: I got you.
Speaker 5: You are about to be a menace.
Speaker 2: You ever seen the movie Pink, I mean the series Painkillers?
Speaker 5: I did. Everybody keep telling you the way.
Speaker 2: You describing it is, it sounds like the same.
Speaker 3: I didn't see it yet. Man, you'll listen to me.
Speaker 3: I've never been on drugs. I never, you know, I have.
Speaker 3: Both of my parents were addicted to drugs.
Speaker 2: My father over when I was twelve years old.
Speaker 3: My mother, you know, a boy, the grace of God,
Speaker 3: she cleans herself up after twenty and she passed away
Speaker 3: from cancer, but she was drug free.
Speaker 2: But this when I watched this.
Speaker 3: Series, right, it was just a regular guy it's one
Speaker 3: guy in particular. He was working, you know, he worked
Speaker 3: in He was a mechanic, and he hurt itself and
Speaker 3: he was a good family guy.
Speaker 1: And he just he wasn't a mechanic.
Speaker 2: He owned.
Speaker 3: He was like he was a good family guy and
Speaker 3: he started taking it and like you said, he felt better,
Speaker 3: Like damn, it's like a super dry.
Speaker 2: He was working good.
Speaker 1: His wife.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he had he had injured his spine, like.
Speaker 3: It was terrible, and as it goes through, at the
Speaker 3: end of it, he actually kills it.
Speaker 2: He overdoses.
Speaker 3: Like at the end of the thing, he did everything
Speaker 3: like he went through the dw he cleaned hisself up
Speaker 3: and then he just it was like go back.
Speaker 2: Could not like and it was like, damn.
Speaker 3: When I'm listening to you and I'm looking at this,
Speaker 3: I'm like, damn that that has to be. It has
Speaker 3: to be the hardest thing in the world. And I
Speaker 3: can't even imagine something controlling me to that degree.
Speaker 4: I just came and the argument is because we've had
Speaker 4: the argument again, they didn't know how significant it is.
Speaker 4: It was, so it's kind of like, all right, you
Speaker 4: got some shit going on, but you just it's like
Speaker 4: anything else to stop, and I'm like yeah, and then
Speaker 4: and then, and I would get into arguments with the
Speaker 4: small group of people that I was close to that
Speaker 4: knew about it, because their position was that Okay, you know,
Speaker 4: I get it, but it's in your mind, like you
Speaker 4: just weakened the mind. I'm like, nah, this is something
Speaker 4: they they had. They literally designed a drug and that's
Speaker 4: what painkillers and Painkillers is on Netflix. Dope Sick is
Speaker 4: the same story. It shows you that they designed this
Speaker 4: to make people hyper addicted.
Speaker 1: That's what they wanted, Like that was the goal.
Speaker 6: The thing that you how you control people is you
Speaker 6: feed the doper mein the doper meine must get fed man,
Speaker 6: and for weak people like myself. At one point in time,
Speaker 6: I needed it. I needed it so bad that I
Speaker 6: would have praised those guys man, like thank you, you
Speaker 6: brought something to my life that's like I can really
Speaker 6: like love and cherish even though it's tearing me down right,
Speaker 6: get to the point where that ship just become part
Speaker 6: of my part of me.
Speaker 1: You can say shit on this show, we say shit.
Speaker 6: It just gets to the point where you get so
Speaker 6: used to it that it's like what do you go?
Speaker 6: Where do you go next. So for me, I started
Speaker 6: mixing percocests with the zanies. Right now, you're mixing it up, man.
Speaker 6: I was taken at the time. Man, I was taking
Speaker 6: probably like fifteen thirties a day if I can afford it,
Speaker 6: in like twelve or fifteen zannies because I didn't want
Speaker 6: I told you, I started taking these drugs for the
Speaker 6: mental pain.
Speaker 5: Now I ain't got shit. I ain't shit.
Speaker 6: My life is done, my mother is dead, everybody is going.
Speaker 5: Man, it's over.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm named. I am in the process of naming.
Speaker 4: I think I'm up to like eleven. I was taking
Speaker 4: twenty pills a day, thirties. I didn't go that far
Speaker 4: because I was afraid it would kill me. But then
Speaker 4: sometimes I wanted to just like you slip out like
Speaker 4: it's cool. But fifteens and I was taking I'm now
Speaker 4: naming each one of them because I realized that each
Speaker 4: one of those pills that I swallowed throughout the day
Speaker 4: had a meaning in my life. Imposta syndrome, past sexual assault,
Speaker 4: you know, feeling unworre just all those things. It felt
Speaker 4: like it was numbing. And you know, we talked about
Speaker 4: this earlier. But I want to bring introduce it into
Speaker 4: this conversation that the nation of Islam has a saying
Speaker 4: that perhaps the drug abuser is actually more in tune
Speaker 4: what's happening in the world than those of us who
Speaker 4: are not drug abuses, because every time they wake up
Speaker 4: from their dopeness, so being doped up, they see the
Speaker 4: world and say, oh no, no, no, dope me up again.
Speaker 1: I can't I can't hand.
Speaker 6: You know, I mean with even like you brought a
Speaker 6: valid point, I mean, I started taking percoses for the neglect.
Speaker 5: I ain't believe in God.
Speaker 6: At one point it's like God, why you got me
Speaker 6: here at a house where I'm being abused. I'm being
Speaker 6: physically abused over and over and over again, and I
Speaker 6: have two teenage parents and it's just like they're on drugs,
Speaker 6: Like these are the things that's going on in my head,
Speaker 6: and it's like, okay, now I'm playing back to childhood years,
Speaker 6: from childhood years to you know, growing up young adults, adults,
Speaker 6: and that was just like yo, I'm seeing the world
Speaker 6: and it's like it's no good for me.
Speaker 5: This is why I want to die. I gotta die.
Speaker 6: And that was the reason why I went to rehab
Speaker 6: because I kept waking up, and I'm like, oh no,
Speaker 6: maybe maybe I'm a bigger person because you wasn't dying.
Speaker 5: I wasn't dying, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: You kept saying that, and God was like, no, no,
Speaker 2: you're not going.
Speaker 6: To right and you're not doing it and then going
Speaker 6: to rehab man January to twenty first, twenty eighteen.
Speaker 5: That was the start of the beginning.
Speaker 1: It's the start of the beginning.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's just the start of the beginning.
Speaker 2: What was that process?
Speaker 5: Like, I wasn't scared anymore. I was more so nervous
Speaker 5: than so.
Speaker 3: I wanted to ask one more question before you say that,
Speaker 3: because they always say, like I remember when my mother
Speaker 3: went to rehab, like when she actually you know, stop
Speaker 3: using drugs like she had Oh, we had sent her away,
Speaker 3: she came back this and that, and was it was
Speaker 3: it a feeling that you just was tired that you
Speaker 3: made a decision like I'm tired of this.
Speaker 6: I'm tired because like I said, I kept waking up.
Speaker 6: I wanted the overdose. I didn't had enough heart to
Speaker 6: you know, jump off a roof or put a gun
Speaker 6: to my head or anything like that. Hang myself. So listen,
Speaker 6: let me take these pills. Because I knew I took
Speaker 6: fake pills. I knew it had dope in it, cracking it,
Speaker 6: I knew it was all types of stuff in it.
Speaker 5: The goal was to take percoses.
Speaker 6: But I'm sure I took millions of fake pills. Right,
Speaker 6: I'm like, damn, I'm tired it for me, it's over right.
Speaker 6: And once I went in there, now I'm nervous because
Speaker 6: I don't know what to expect. And shout out to
Speaker 6: the guy. I hope he's I hope he's strong. We
Speaker 6: shared the room doing during our first.
Speaker 1: Week of You never forget those people.
Speaker 5: You never forget those people.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 6: And I'm in a room with a I'm in a
Speaker 6: room with a guy that like smelled like he just
Speaker 6: came from the sewer, and I say, yeah, I need this.
Speaker 6: He smelled bad. And I know, yeah, you ain't far removed,
Speaker 6: you know. And then after my first week of detox,
Speaker 6: after the first week, and then I finally moved over
Speaker 6: to rehab, and now you got Now it's like you
Speaker 6: got guys in there that's mandated. You got guys in
Speaker 6: there that's just looking for a home. You got guys
Speaker 6: in there. That's just like it was very few of
Speaker 6: us that really wanted to see that change, and that
Speaker 6: I guess the last three weeks it was a beautiful
Speaker 6: thing because I didn't want to leave.
Speaker 5: I mean, I wanted to leave, but I.
Speaker 6: Was so far away that once you leave, it's no
Speaker 6: coming back, and it's no busses that you could catch.
Speaker 6: It's no yo, let me hitch hike for a cat,
Speaker 6: It's none of that. You're done up. It's over. So
Speaker 6: I said my last two weeks, man, I'm just gonna
Speaker 6: create skits. I already had it in my mind what
Speaker 6: it is that I wanted to do. I'm going to
Speaker 6: tap into my diamond that I was afraid of. And
Speaker 6: once I tapped into my diamond, once I once I
Speaker 6: got out of rehab my first week, it was up.
Speaker 6: I jumped on the internet and it was up from there.
Speaker 1: Talk about your diamond, Like, so what is that now?
Speaker 2: What's the why did you identify?
Speaker 5: Because I knew you already know who you are?
Speaker 6: Like jay Z said, you are who you are before
Speaker 6: you got here, whether you got the richest, whether you
Speaker 6: got whatever it is that you.
Speaker 5: Got, you know who you are before you got here.
Speaker 6: So I knew what I wanted to do, but I
Speaker 6: always I was afraid of success, right. And it's a
Speaker 6: lot of even in this is when we talk about
Speaker 6: the young kids, right, a lot of y'all know what
Speaker 6: y'all want to do, you're just afraid of it. So
Speaker 6: I knew that I was ready for the world. I
Speaker 6: just was afraid to tap into it. And I tell people,
Speaker 6: the richest place in the world is the grave, man
Speaker 6: because they die with trollion dollar I did, you know
Speaker 6: what I'm saying. So I'm like, you know what, I'm
Speaker 6: gonna let the world norm gonna be transparent. I'm gonna
Speaker 6: let the world know that I was a bad parent.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna let the world know that I was addicted
Speaker 6: to drugs. I'm gonna let the world know that I
Speaker 6: used to do things because I wanted to be like
Speaker 6: that guy.
Speaker 5: I played both sides of the fence.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna be transparent on here because it's no secrets.
Speaker 6: I know it's somebody's suffering, just like me. Now, everybody's dead,
Speaker 6: your grandmother, your grandfather, your mother, everybody's dead. Now when
Speaker 6: now you got to be the leader? You know what
Speaker 6: I'm saying, and I know with somebody out there that's like, yo,
Speaker 6: thank you. So that's what I did.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 6: I'm like, Yo, I'm gonna create skits. I love acting.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna create skits because me talking all day, I'm
Speaker 6: probably not gonna get people to gravitate. But let me
Speaker 6: create these skits, get them to gravitate, and now let
Speaker 6: me drop the let me drop the message.
Speaker 5: And that's what I did.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 4: So working with people, if someone you know, they approach
Speaker 4: you and they have an issue, they have a problem,
Speaker 4: what do you do. What's the process of helping them
Speaker 4: get sober? Because we don't use the word clean.
Speaker 6: Right, right, So I tell people this, right, are you
Speaker 6: willing to get sober?
Speaker 5: Like you were willing to use?
Speaker 1: That's deep?
Speaker 6: Got to reverse it because I was willing to I
Speaker 6: was willing to walk miles for a pill one one
Speaker 6: that wouldn't do nothing for me.
Speaker 1: One.
Speaker 6: I'm like, do you have a support system? Yeah, I
Speaker 6: have an iron or a mother or a gram All right,
Speaker 6: what if they don't have you for the rest of
Speaker 6: your life?
Speaker 5: What if you die?
Speaker 6: Now that's gonna be selfish to them. So how bad
Speaker 6: do you want to get sober? And once you tell
Speaker 6: me you want to get sober. I asked, yo, do
Speaker 6: you have insurance? Because if you got insurance, man, we
Speaker 6: can go wherever city we in, we can go to
Speaker 6: a rehabilitation program in that city and we go from there.
Speaker 6: I put that on the internet. I've took so many
Speaker 6: people to rehab Like I'm with you. I don't get
Speaker 6: paid for it. I don't have a nonprofit for it.
Speaker 6: Because this is the thing here right when you stop
Speaker 6: doing what works, you're going to nine.
Speaker 5: Times out of ten start using again. M hmmm. So
Speaker 5: what works is for me is yo, you gotta help somebody.
Speaker 6: When you sit back and stop helping people, Oh, you
Speaker 6: think you got it under control.
Speaker 5: I am not far removed from being.
Speaker 6: A junkie again, absolutely, So I'm going to continue to
Speaker 6: help somebody to remind me that you're not far removed.
Speaker 5: I tell a.
Speaker 6: Person, your thirty days is better than my six years.
Speaker 6: You did thirty days of being sobered?
Speaker 1: Yo, whoa two? Three, four days?
Speaker 5: Is me?
Speaker 1: When you go through.
Speaker 4: You talk from using all the time and needing it
Speaker 4: each day, you're just like, yo, this is crazy.
Speaker 2: How did you do two days?
Speaker 1: One thing?
Speaker 4: The people who run the program, they knew they knew
Speaker 4: who I was, they knew I was on the alias,
Speaker 4: they knew me that they gave me my dignity as
Speaker 4: much as they possibly could. I took paper towels and
Speaker 4: double layered them all over my bathroom.
Speaker 2: No, I put.
Speaker 4: Newspaper and then paper towels all over my bathroom floor.
Speaker 4: And I had my slippers. And that's how I was living.
Speaker 4: I was so depressed. And I did not take a
Speaker 4: shower for the entire time that I was on the
Speaker 4: other side of the house because I was not about
Speaker 4: to get in.
Speaker 1: That shower with that stuff and that thing.
Speaker 4: And I didn't have no cleaning products because you can
Speaker 4: sniff cleaning products and they don't give you that.
Speaker 1: And I just was going through so much.
Speaker 4: But I thank God for every second because during that
Speaker 4: time that I was in rehab, that was the most
Speaker 4: that I could hear the I could crystal clear here
Speaker 4: the Lord's direction for me and the and the and
Speaker 4: I was. I kept apologizing to myself, I was apologizing
Speaker 4: to God. I was apologizing to my son, and all
Speaker 4: throughout that I could hear him saying rest, child, like
Speaker 4: just lay down, just rest, rest your spirit, rest all
Speaker 4: these things because you come out of this, right, You're
Speaker 4: going to be more powerful than you can even imagine.
Speaker 4: And I was going to keep the story to myself,
Speaker 4: but then I realized it wasn't my story to hold.
Speaker 1: It was God's story. It was God.
Speaker 5: So how dare you.
Speaker 4: When somebody There are people in my comments section when
Speaker 4: I posted about five years and they're saying things about
Speaker 4: what they went through. And a lot of women, a
Speaker 4: lot of women, because sleeping is real hard for us
Speaker 4: when we got to think, you know, and I think
Speaker 4: brothers have the same thing, but especially with us as women,
Speaker 4: when we're trying to.
Speaker 1: Figure everything out, everything out, care for the family, the man,
Speaker 1: keep the man.
Speaker 4: Look fine, go to work, do this that everything that
Speaker 4: we're trying to do, sleeping is very difficult for us.
Speaker 4: And so there are several people, particularly women, who are
Speaker 4: telling their stories. And one woman said, I have never
Speaker 4: talked to one person about this, and I find myself
Speaker 4: on your page in the comments section, telling this story
Speaker 4: right here, and I never talked to anybody else.
Speaker 1: But it's because the power of your story, right, can heal.
Speaker 5: You?
Speaker 2: Know?
Speaker 5: I don't want to kill you. I want to heal
Speaker 5: with you. I don't want to kill you.
Speaker 6: I want to heal with you, and see, the only
Speaker 6: way we can heal is if somebody be transparent. That's it, right,
Speaker 6: And I ask people right when I talk to the kids,
Speaker 6: I said, if you discovered a diamond that was worth
Speaker 6: billions of dollars trillions of dollars, would you keep it
Speaker 6: to yourself? Would you tell someone? Or you undecided? And
Speaker 6: most of them say, I keep it to myself or
Speaker 6: I'm undecided. The diamond is you. You think the person
Speaker 6: that's like full of talent, full of a gift, Why
Speaker 6: would you hide that gift when you know you can
Speaker 6: spread it to the world.
Speaker 5: Man, our story.
Speaker 6: This is one of these stories where it's like it's
Speaker 6: a secret society, man, because if you don't know what
Speaker 6: this pain feel like, how we broke through the pain,
Speaker 6: you would never understand. You would never ever understand. I
Speaker 6: tell people those who were addicted to drugs and got
Speaker 6: about of it, man, they probably the strongest people in
Speaker 6: the world, because it's like this is a drug that's
Speaker 6: like controlling this.
Speaker 5: Drugs control everything.
Speaker 6: Like listen, if you addicted the drugs, man, don't be
Speaker 6: ashamed of your story. Be ashamed if there's no ending
Speaker 6: to your story.
Speaker 2: So what is next?
Speaker 1: What is it the fact that you don't get funding?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 2: Yeah, like you should be.
Speaker 6: I mean I think people are afraid of listen, if
Speaker 6: you don't want to help fund, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 6: I'm only here to help them. I'm here to tell
Speaker 6: my story and to help those who are addicted. Because
Speaker 6: people think that drug addiction is cool. They or they're
Speaker 6: in the now. They don't believe that.
Speaker 5: They are on.
Speaker 6: Like, I'm not sleeping on a park bench. I'm not
Speaker 6: selling my body. I'm not committed, but I'm not.
Speaker 2: Just getting little.
Speaker 5: I just get a little.
Speaker 6: But this is why when I on my platform, I
Speaker 6: congratulate those who are celebrities because it's like, yo, it
Speaker 6: takes you gotta dumb it down, man, order for people
Speaker 6: to say, oh, no, you're rich, you got this, you
Speaker 6: got that. No, that don't mean anything. Drug addiction. Don't
Speaker 6: care about your age, your color, where you're from. This
Speaker 6: is why I love all people, because they don't care
Speaker 6: about who you are. They just want to get you
Speaker 6: to take. And I'm wondering, like yo, why people don't
Speaker 6: want to rock with me? And I feel like they
Speaker 6: just don't trust me when it comes down to drug addiction.
Speaker 6: But then they're gonna let these big companies and corporations
Speaker 6: kind of like say, oh, you're fitting off, leave that alone.
Speaker 6: And this is no leave all of them alone. So
Speaker 6: you know what I'm gonna do. I'm just gonna keep
Speaker 6: talking about it. You know, hopefully don't nobody drug in the.
Speaker 5: Hip hop world.
Speaker 6: That's another crazy thing because and I'm I'm I don't
Speaker 6: want to be long winded. So many of us are
Speaker 6: dying from drug addiction and it's.
Speaker 2: Like living with drugs.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I'm talking about it.
Speaker 2: And you see it. You can see that is taking
Speaker 2: them over.
Speaker 3: And because they have status and they have money, nobody
Speaker 3: is actually trying to do anything to help them.
Speaker 6: I would go to Philadelphia has this place called Kissington
Speaker 6: and Alleghany. It's the worst place in the country, and
Speaker 6: I will I'll put my life on that. That's how
Speaker 6: That's how much I know for a fact, you call them,
Speaker 6: that's pretty much almost done.
Speaker 2: La.
Speaker 6: It's nothing worse than Kensington and Alleghany. There's zombies. The
Speaker 6: cops sit back and be like, as long as nobody
Speaker 6: hurt themselves, like long as nobody die or nobody's fighting,
Speaker 6: they got it. They can shoot up they were shooting,
Speaker 6: they would yo, they're shooting up right, and like on
Speaker 6: the block, every it's like a whole community, thousands and
Speaker 6: thousands of people.
Speaker 4: We have to do a part too of this conversation
Speaker 4: because it is the question why isn't why is there
Speaker 4: not the support for us?
Speaker 2: Because it's not a support for the thing is right?
Speaker 3: I was listening to so I just listened to interviews
Speaker 3: and I listened to narratives, and it's like people have
Speaker 3: made they've made this.
Speaker 2: What is the word I want to use?
Speaker 3: They've come to a conclusion that everything that black people
Speaker 3: do for to help black people in some type of
Speaker 3: scam or that we're trying to get over right like
Speaker 3: our own people. That people say, oh yeah, I don't
Speaker 3: want black lives matter the end, because the somebody said
Speaker 3: the n w a CP doesn't want to end racism
Speaker 3: because then they can't be funded.
Speaker 2: Right then you if.
Speaker 3: And that makes sense in an interview, but that's like
Speaker 3: saying the doctors don't want people not to get healed
Speaker 3: because if they stop dying, then nobody has a job.
Speaker 3: The police don't want crime to stop because if they
Speaker 3: stop coming.
Speaker 2: Crime, there's no industry.
Speaker 3: In the world that that is not gonna fund unless
Speaker 3: the problem exists.
Speaker 2: Right, So why why do we.
Speaker 3: Point out only our people and the ship that benefits
Speaker 3: us and the people that work toward the benefit and
Speaker 3: the protection of our people.
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: And we do that, and we and we think it's
Speaker 3: something we think it's something wrong that you decide, you
Speaker 3: know what.
Speaker 2: I'm a person that's formally addicted.
Speaker 3: I want to do something better and I need to
Speaker 3: be funded because I can't survive, right, And I can't.
Speaker 3: I can't do any work if I can't survive, right,
Speaker 3: So we we always looking for the bat if you
Speaker 3: if you put up to raise money so you can
Speaker 3: start your own I'm saying to skip. But this is
Speaker 3: what our people, this is what our people have been taught.
Speaker 3: It's the worst thing. And it's like, damn you. You
Speaker 3: you try to get into some shit that to can
Speaker 3: help your people. You come back with knowledge you have,
Speaker 3: you know, unwilling wisdom about some ship that you actually
Speaker 3: went through, and you know that you can be a resource.
Speaker 3: You know that you can help people. But our own
Speaker 3: people are are the biggest adversaries to that.
Speaker 6: Post traumatic slave disorder PTSD post traumatic slave disorder the mind.
Speaker 6: When you walking around with a constipated mind, you just
Speaker 6: got garbage beside your brain. I don't expect you to
Speaker 6: be receptive to information if you have if you have
Speaker 6: a constipated mentality, if you have a poor minded mentality,
Speaker 6: I don't expect that people still told on Harriet tell
Speaker 6: me and that was a go and it's still going on.
Speaker 5: To this day.
Speaker 4: Well, brother, we just I mean really, appreciation is too
Speaker 4: small of a word, right, Like I wish I had,
Speaker 4: and I think from my perspective, I appreciate it even
Speaker 4: more because I know that I could just hear in
Speaker 4: you my same story, like exactly what I went through,
Speaker 4: the feelings, the whole thing, and it's so deep and
Speaker 4: it is a secret society, but we're making it not
Speaker 4: as not so secret by having platforms with people have
Speaker 4: been writing to me.
Speaker 1: I would never have thought.
Speaker 4: And by the way, I want to say that the
Speaker 4: support and the amount of folk who've reached out to
Speaker 4: me from the top, who you could think of, people
Speaker 4: in elected office, celebrities down to not even down to
Speaker 4: two people who just regular folks has been overwhelming. Text messages, calls, prayers,
Speaker 4: love and support and even those who make this particular statement,
Speaker 4: I know that it's not. All of them are not
Speaker 4: coming from a bad place, but they say I would
Speaker 4: never have thought. And I want you at people who
Speaker 4: are out there, of people who are listening, to look
Speaker 4: at yourself, look at your brother, your sister, your mother,
Speaker 4: your father, your cousins, and the pastor, the pastor, the teacher,
Speaker 4: the lawyer, the lady who's the good lady from the community,
Speaker 4: and know that yes, you, yesterday, Yes it could also
Speaker 4: be you.
Speaker 1: So when you say I would never have thought, think.
Speaker 4: Think, think, think, because it can and it is happening
Speaker 4: to so many people. And I just you know, I
Speaker 4: think this is one of those things. Be McFly.
Speaker 1: I prefer to go with Brandon, but.
Speaker 4: That you know, I pray, I pray that we received
Speaker 4: the resources that we deserve to do the work. This
Speaker 4: is important work, but I also want to say that
Speaker 4: this is not something we need to Yes, the government
Speaker 4: should be funding us because they take our money, so
Speaker 4: they should give it back. But our own people have
Speaker 4: enough money to fund this type of work that we
Speaker 4: could do it on our own. And I think that's
Speaker 4: that's the conversation and what it's got to be about.
Speaker 1: And yes, it takes what does it take?
Speaker 2: Money, money, and to do anything.
Speaker 1: You got to come back if you do more than
Speaker 1: just this.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, talk about you know, your work
Speaker 4: in totality.
Speaker 5: Let's get it. Man, appreciate.
Speaker 3: Always shout out to be McFly Man to my brother Man.
Speaker 3: We met on the internet, but we've connected a few times,
Speaker 3: and I never knew all of that, right, I just
Speaker 3: knew that he was somebody that I seen on the Internet,
Speaker 3: and I loved his message. I loved the passion that
Speaker 3: he spoke with, and his skits were really you know,
Speaker 3: really powerful, and just hearing that and just just listen
Speaker 3: pretty much, I just let you, y'all into you actually
Speaker 3: was getting interviewed. This is even though you were interviewing well,
Speaker 3: you actually was interviewing yourself too, because for real, it
Speaker 3: was therapeutic watching you and just seeing how passionate you
Speaker 3: was and you were telling your story. So I was
Speaker 3: sitting there, you know, I got me one or two questions, but.
Speaker 1: For the moment that dominated the contents and it.
Speaker 3: Was it was something that you needed to die because
Speaker 3: it's still therapeutic, like right every time, five years this
Speaker 3: is five years of your sobriety, and you know you
Speaker 3: feel empowered, but you also know how you didn't feel.
Speaker 2: Strong at the time.
Speaker 3: You know, you talk about your deepest, darkest moments and
Speaker 3: how you felt like you were helpless, and like I
Speaker 3: remember you sitting there telling me I cannot stop taking pills,
Speaker 3: like literally looking at my face, and I'm like, what
Speaker 3: do you mean you can't?
Speaker 2: And I didn't understand.
Speaker 3: It, And more and more that you said it, and
Speaker 3: the more I hear these testimonies, I realized, Dan, this
Speaker 3: is this is something that I can't possibly even understand.
Speaker 3: But just to see that you you found the way
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. And the thing is, the
Speaker 3: reality is I don't know if I would have been
Speaker 3: able to do that. I don't know, right because I've
Speaker 3: never been through it. So you don't know if you
Speaker 3: can overcome something until you've actually done it, and you've
Speaker 3: actually went through something that a lot of.
Speaker 2: People don't come back from. And you know, just hearing
Speaker 2: you speak about it and if.
Speaker 4: So good that I can say emphatically like once I
Speaker 4: walked into that facility to that house on March eighteen,
Speaker 4: I never ever took another pill again, Like who like
Speaker 4: you don't even understand what that means. Like you said,
Speaker 4: you've never been through it. So to be able to
Speaker 4: say that and to know it, because before that I
Speaker 4: would say, oh, yeah, no, I'm detoxing. But then I
Speaker 4: knew I would sneak a pill and do this and
Speaker 4: do that, because that's just the process. But to know
Speaker 4: that what he said, when b McFly said that, you
Speaker 4: know your thirty days are better than my six years,
Speaker 4: I know what he's talking about because those thirty.
Speaker 1: Days, that's the hardest time.
Speaker 4: That's the hardest part is being able to keep going
Speaker 4: for thirty days. It's by the time you get to
Speaker 4: six years, it's just coming five years later.
Speaker 1: You know, it's a thing of the past.
Speaker 4: It's you know, it's something that you know, you think
Speaker 4: about you It's like, oh wow, right, that's so far away.
Speaker 1: When that happened over there thirty days ago.
Speaker 4: It's like, yo, cannot even make it thirty one days?
Speaker 4: Can I make it thirty days and an hour?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 4: It's really tough. And so to be able to say
Speaker 4: that and to know that there ain't nobody that you know,
Speaker 4: it ain't no, ain't no, ain't no nobody with a
Speaker 4: script around the corner like Na, Na, remember that scripts
Speaker 4: people had that script March twenty then you said you
Speaker 4: had a script that Nah, that's not a thing, And
Speaker 4: I'm so proud of myself, but I know for that,
Speaker 4: it's somebody that's.
Speaker 3: Going through it right now and they need to hear
Speaker 3: you and like that, Like you said that lady wrote
Speaker 3: in your comments that she had never shared it with anybody,
Speaker 3: and you know, and we just have powers to be
Speaker 3: able to move people in different ways. And the fact
Speaker 3: that she wanted to share that with you, whatever you
Speaker 3: said or did or whatever it was, it was able
Speaker 3: to move her and hopefully move her to do something
Speaker 3: to help herself.
Speaker 1: So no, she's she's she's sober.
Speaker 2: Oh she's sober now.
Speaker 1: She said she.
Speaker 4: Got sober, never told anybody about it, and now she's like, yo,
Speaker 4: I'm on internet. She she she gave off, which I
Speaker 4: didn't even click a page or anything.
Speaker 1: She gave off a woman of our right, just like.
Speaker 3: She might have needed to tell somebody because it might
Speaker 3: have saved somebody's life. So shout out to you, Shout
Speaker 3: out to be McFly for you know, for overcoming the
Speaker 3: odds man and being examples of what it is when
Speaker 3: you decide mentally that you're going to win and you
Speaker 3: gonna overcome something, so shout out to y'all. So on
Speaker 3: a different note, I wouldn't say light, but on a
Speaker 3: different note, you know, I have a I don't get
Speaker 3: it today, but today's I don't get it. It's a
Speaker 3: two prong I don't get it, you know, because I
Speaker 3: know I want to get killed or stabbed up by nobody,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 2: So I wanted I wanted to I wanted to.
Speaker 3: Give a question to both men and women who actually
Speaker 3: engaged in this behavior. I need to know why do
Speaker 3: women have babies with men that don't want to have babies?
Speaker 2: That's the first part.
Speaker 3: But I also don't get why do men have unprotected
Speaker 3: sex with women that they don't want to.
Speaker 2: Have children with? Right, So it's a two prong question.
Speaker 3: You saying you don't want to have a baby, You're
Speaker 3: saying this and that, and you know you don't, but
Speaker 3: you still continue to have unprotected sex with this woman,
Speaker 3: knowing that the possibility exists.
Speaker 2: For her to have a baby, and you know that
Speaker 2: she wants to have a baby.
Speaker 3: So I don't understand neither one of these mentalities at all.
Speaker 3: I wish somebody would give me an understanding of how
Speaker 3: it even makes any level of sense, because it's probably
Speaker 3: the dumbest should I ever seen.
Speaker 4: But maybe you shouldn't have sex because if an accident,
Speaker 4: like what if you told a woman I don't want
Speaker 4: to have children and then she gets pregnant by accident.
Speaker 1: You can't go telling people that they have to have it.
Speaker 3: But the thing is, but the thing is, but no,
Speaker 3: you don't. You can have the baby. But the thing is,
Speaker 3: the problem is you're looking, You're having an expectation of
Speaker 3: somebody that you shouldn't have an expectation.
Speaker 4: Well, no, but if I did not try to get
Speaker 4: we both made a decision. We know sex makes babies,
Speaker 4: we know that. We know that, we know that.
Speaker 2: But there's some people that irresponsible that.
Speaker 4: The whole point of sex, right, it was, Yes, there
Speaker 4: was the part about pleasure. It was a pleasure, the
Speaker 4: whole point pleasure sex. No, No, it is reproduction. You
Speaker 4: think that what you know I'm talking about.
Speaker 2: Most people in the world.
Speaker 3: You said, I'm not talking about what are you talking about.
Speaker 4: I'm not saying that it cannot that it does not
Speaker 4: benefit the pleasure purpose. I'm saying that the organs and
Speaker 4: the actual practice of it. Pro Creation is at the
Speaker 4: heart of what you're supposed to into when you have sex, right,
Speaker 4: So intercourse, right, it's.
Speaker 1: Supposed to it's supposed to be about procreation.
Speaker 4: Okay, So now you have a baby, you have sex
Speaker 4: with somebody and they tell you, I do not want
Speaker 4: to have kids.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 4: So the next question, one we think would be do
Speaker 4: you want to have kids? Right, because if you want
Speaker 4: to have kids, even if we about to use a condom,
Speaker 4: I know that the chances that the kind of could
Speaker 4: break or that could be an incident. So if you're
Speaker 4: not one of those people who are willing to have
Speaker 4: an abortion, and you might you know, some people want
Speaker 4: to have an abortion, but they might find out too
Speaker 4: lay and or their bodies can't handle it for whatever reason.
Speaker 4: Well no, yeah, now yeah, Now politically you can't do
Speaker 4: it for you can go to jail. But I'm saying
Speaker 4: that there are people who literally with the ability to
Speaker 4: get an abortion, they cannot do it because of their
Speaker 4: their whatever right their physical condition. So I'm not even
Speaker 4: told by unprotected sex. The question still is out there.
Speaker 4: If that person says yes, I want to know, I'm
Speaker 4: not willing to go in the back alley and get
Speaker 4: a hanger up me or whatever. Why then do you
Speaker 4: are you should you still be held accountable for that child,
Speaker 4: at least financially.
Speaker 3: I think for me, right that as a man, I'm
Speaker 3: always gonna be hand accountable for any creation that I make.
Speaker 2: Right, But I'm a responsible individual like that. That is
Speaker 2: a decision that.
Speaker 3: I've made that if I make a baby, regardless of
Speaker 3: how it's made, that is my child, and I'm going
Speaker 3: to do everything possible to support, love and be a
Speaker 3: father to my child. But I also being Devil's advocate
Speaker 3: and just giving you another perspective. I know men that
Speaker 3: just don't want anything to do with they they don't
Speaker 3: have They're not stable at all. They don't they don't
Speaker 3: claim anything. I know men that just literally just move around.
Speaker 3: They don't have any goals or aspirations to be fathers
Speaker 3: to children, right, and they live their life and win.
Speaker 3: The relationship with the women is the relationship. Especially if
Speaker 3: they never wanted to have the child, then they are
Speaker 3: completely fine with having absolutely no relationship with a child.
Speaker 3: There are men that way, They're all like that. I
Speaker 3: want to there are a bunch of men like that.
Speaker 4: I just want you to know, and I'm gonna let
Speaker 4: you just finish it up that my mother used to
Speaker 4: tell my cousins, you know, the men in our family,
Speaker 4: and I'm sure she got this from my grandmother, that
Speaker 4: having sex is extremely expensive. It's probably the most expensive
Speaker 4: decision you will ever make in your life, because you
Speaker 4: can catch STDs, something that you can never get rid of,
Speaker 4: and you can make a responsibility bring something into the
Speaker 4: world that you may not be prepared to take care of.
Speaker 4: So I hope that as men, our brothers are out
Speaker 4: there educating. We're helping our younger brothers to know it's expensive.
Speaker 4: It's like they say dating, you can't just date, like
Speaker 4: dating costs money. It costs money to date somebody. It
Speaker 4: costs money and mental health stuff, whatever you.
Speaker 1: Are to call it.
Speaker 4: I hope they're saying it's expensive. But I hope that
Speaker 4: our young brothers are also understanding it's not just the
Speaker 4: pleasure principle. It is actually an act that should result
Speaker 4: in the procreation so that we as a as a
Speaker 4: as a race, a human race, can continue to grow
Speaker 4: and blossom and to multiply. So when you start putting
Speaker 4: that ship in that language, then people should get a
Speaker 4: different understanding. When you lay down with somebody, you're not
Speaker 4: just laying down with them so you could feel good,
Speaker 4: so you could get your ejaculation, whatever.
Speaker 1: You are, you are actually laying down in a spiritual experience. Bruh.
Speaker 4: But it's it's not that ain't nobody listening to it.
Speaker 4: It's that it's not really being taught because I heard I.
Speaker 3: Was told don't have that's it, right, But the average
Speaker 3: person that's been having sex, right, they don't see the soul.
Speaker 3: I hear what you're saying, and I'm trying to tell
Speaker 3: you that the average reality of that we deal with
Speaker 3: on a basic human level, that's just not everybody's reality.
Speaker 2: And there are.
Speaker 3: People who don't give a fuck, this is what I'm
Speaker 3: trying to say, And they give but they don't give
Speaker 3: a fu. But there are people who really don't care
Speaker 3: about principle.
Speaker 1: They never even heard that what I'm and.
Speaker 2: Some people that they just don't.
Speaker 3: It just doesn't align with them and they've made up
Speaker 3: their mind that they don't care about certain things. So
Speaker 3: what I'm trying to say is I want us all
Speaker 3: to be proactive and not reactive. I want women to
Speaker 3: stop giving your bodies to men who say they don't
Speaker 3: want to have children when you want to have children
Speaker 3: that might impregnate you.
Speaker 2: Stop having unprotected sex with these men.
Speaker 3: Stop expecting them to be men when they haven't shown
Speaker 3: you or told you that they will be men men.
Speaker 3: Stop having sex for women unprotected that you don't want
Speaker 3: to be bothered or protecting.
Speaker 2: Well, you're just having said no, But that's not right.
Speaker 1: But protection does not guarantee a person.
Speaker 2: You're taking the necessary precautions, right, So I can't.
Speaker 1: But once you have a baby, then that's it.
Speaker 3: But once you have a baby, what I'm trying to
Speaker 3: say is it is it? But once you once we've
Speaker 3: had a baby, and we've had a baby, do accident
Speaker 3: right and I didn't purposely do something, and you made
Speaker 3: a decision that you're having a baby, and you're not
Speaker 3: in a situation where you can't have a baby, and
Speaker 3: you made that decision that you want to have that baby.
Speaker 3: I even though I personally I would never say that, but.
Speaker 2: I can't abandon never abandoned a child. But I can't.
Speaker 2: I can't call a man at fault. It's just like that.
Speaker 2: You can ask you a question that comes you know
Speaker 2: what that comes to.
Speaker 3: You know, she's having it if she's impregnated with a baby,
Speaker 3: because this is the aug they have. She's pregnant with
Speaker 3: a baby she does not want to have. She's gonna
Speaker 3: get rid of that baby.
Speaker 1: Right, Well, some people don't. There's a lot of people that.
Speaker 3: There's but more often than not, no more, if a
Speaker 3: woman does not want to have a baby, she does
Speaker 3: not have.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, excuse me. Let me lay down some facts
Speaker 1: so you can know.
Speaker 4: Okay, the statistics are that more women have children they
Speaker 4: don't want.
Speaker 1: Okay, abortion is actually.
Speaker 4: Women have children they do not want than those who
Speaker 4: have abortions. One, we don't always have the resources because
Speaker 4: of shame and yes, because of rape and other incidents
Speaker 4: that you were unable to navigate.
Speaker 1: You have a lot of women, my son. A lot
Speaker 1: of times.
Speaker 4: The way that you see the world, you think of
Speaker 4: it as we are very we we are elitists in
Speaker 4: our experiences because we live in the north, We live
Speaker 4: in New York. We live in a place where playing
Speaker 4: parenthood is right there. The other clinic to this place
Speaker 4: that that you know, all the clinics we've been to,
Speaker 4: some of them.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you're done sad in some of them.
Speaker 2: I shouldn't business.
Speaker 4: You never went to take a woman or pick a
Speaker 4: woman up from having an abortion. You just low live neself.
Speaker 2: No, I've never got I don't have it, so.
Speaker 4: Then and that's and that's and that's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 4: It was being funny, but on the serious side, when
Speaker 4: you live in a community that doesn't have a clinic,
Speaker 4: or the clinic is killing people, or you have to
Speaker 4: have money, you don't have insurance, you don't have health insurance,
Speaker 4: or you can't get a hold of the health insurance
Speaker 4: card because your parents keep.
Speaker 2: It locked away.
Speaker 4: You have the baby that you know, You have the
Speaker 4: baby that you don't necessarily want. Sometimes family members will
Speaker 4: force you because of your the religious beliefs of your mother,
Speaker 4: your grandmother or whomever. They tell you we don't do abortions,
Speaker 4: so you get pregnant and you end up with a child.
Speaker 4: There are more stories like that than people who have abortions.
Speaker 1: I get your point that a woman has that option.
Speaker 4: Or used to in some places, but I'm just saying,
Speaker 4: just know that there are more people who have children
Speaker 4: that they don't want and they have to take care
Speaker 4: of them. Our community and especially our men should hold
Speaker 4: responsible any man who has a child on this earth
Speaker 4: that they do not do something to contribute to them.
Speaker 3: I agree with that, I agree with them, But I'm
Speaker 3: trying to say even if I personally, but I don't
Speaker 3: see them at full I just don't. If you, if
Speaker 3: you take all the necessary course, if you take all
Speaker 3: of the necessary precautions not to.
Speaker 2: Have a child, you can't.
Speaker 4: My sign, I don't understand what I'm getting ready to
Speaker 4: tell you. If you have sex, you have not taken
Speaker 4: all of the necessary.
Speaker 2: Every time, that every time you should want to have
Speaker 2: a child.
Speaker 1: No, it's not one.
Speaker 4: I didn't say anything about that absolutely, because what you
Speaker 4: just said is that it is. It's not really tell
Speaker 4: you what's so realistic about it, because this is because
Speaker 4: because we are on a hot mic, and what we
Speaker 4: say here goes into the world, and when we are
Speaker 4: you say that you need to take the every you say,
Speaker 4: every necessary precaution not to have a child, that you
Speaker 4: cannot hold the person at fault.
Speaker 1: You are not being that that responsible.
Speaker 4: No, you said I cannot hold them at fault.
Speaker 2: I think should be responsible.
Speaker 4: So no, no, no, you said I cannot hold them at fault.
Speaker 4: What I am saying to you is that it is
Speaker 4: an incomplete thought. What you said here is that if
Speaker 4: you have taken every possible precaution. So now if we
Speaker 4: write down a list of precautions of not getting pregnant,
Speaker 4: because they don't have no world where you can get
Speaker 4: pregnant by the air blowing on you, understanding that not
Speaker 4: having sex is the first way not to have keys. Okay,
Speaker 4: So once we know that, then as a community, if
Speaker 4: a person made that step and they did have sex,
Speaker 4: which means they didn't take the first precaution, and you
Speaker 4: have a child, it should be condemnation that you don't
Speaker 4: take care of.
Speaker 2: But it doesn't matter to some people.
Speaker 1: Man or woman. I don't.
Speaker 3: If you do, you condemn a woman that has abortion
Speaker 3: you don't want no, what are you talking about?
Speaker 4: Child that's walking around?
Speaker 3: Are you condemning a woman who made a decision that
Speaker 3: I don't want to have this baby. I don't want
Speaker 3: I don't want none to do with this baby. The
Speaker 3: man wants the baby and he she says no, I
Speaker 3: don't want the baby, and she gets rid of the baby.
Speaker 4: Do you con I do not condemn I do not
Speaker 4: condemn her, but I will tell you this much. I
Speaker 4: absolutely condemn any person because, by the way you told
Speaker 4: me the other day, there's no way that the average
Speaker 4: woman is stronger than a man physically, if you fit physically,
Speaker 4: there's no way physically that the average woman, not women
Speaker 4: woman is stronger than the That means that if I
Speaker 4: get into a fight with a man and I hit
Speaker 4: him or do something to him and he beats me up,
Speaker 4: I put myself in a situation because I already know
Speaker 4: that for the most part.
Speaker 1: I cannot beat that man.
Speaker 4: So if you have sex with a woman, as a man,
Speaker 4: you are putting yourself in a situation that you cannot control.
Speaker 1: You get beat up body.
Speaker 2: But hear what But I hear what you said.
Speaker 3: But just like and I'm telling you, just like you said,
Speaker 3: she knows she she can't beat the man. It don't
Speaker 3: stop him from fucking you up. If he don't give
Speaker 3: a fuck whether you could beat him or nothing. Just like,
Speaker 3: it don't matter that you care. You condemn the nigga
Speaker 3: that don't want.
Speaker 1: To baby, that's me.
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter. Our community. Don't get the community.
Speaker 1: Don't get community.
Speaker 3: It's a bunch of dead it's dead beat niggas wunning
Speaker 3: around here all day and they look.
Speaker 4: Around mindsets like yours when you telling it, not hold
Speaker 4: them at fall. At fall, I call court and I'm
Speaker 4: giving the judge I'm no judge, and the jury and
Speaker 4: the motherfucking executioner. If you don't take care of child
Speaker 4: that you laid down to make, you ain't ship.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can say that, but some people don't care
Speaker 3: about not being ship. That's all I'm trying to say.
Speaker 2: To tell you.
Speaker 3: It is niggas that is piece of ships, and they
Speaker 3: all they so they are so comfortable being pieces of ship.
Speaker 3: So with that said, another episode. Somebody's gonna be wrong,
Speaker 3: somebody gonna be right. She ain't gonna never be wrong,
Speaker 3: but it is what it is.
Speaker 2: We love y'all. Tm I tune in, keep on tuning in.
Speaker 3: Number one show in the world.
Speaker 2: So check out the video version of TMO
Speaker 1: Every single Wednesday on Iwoman Dot TV.