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Speaker 1: Welcome everyone to I do Part two and well you

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Speaker 1: get two of your hosts today. I'm Ami Robots alongside TJ.

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Speaker 2: Holmes. Ready for this, babe.

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Speaker 3: I have questions for our guests today.

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Speaker 4: I have.

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Speaker 3: I'm curious, and I have a couple of major major

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Speaker 3: just I think, just normal questions for someone who is

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Speaker 3: about to date for the first time since she was nineteen, Yes,

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Speaker 3: so thirty something years ago. So getting back into the

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Speaker 3: dating pool, and what's it like to share someone that

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Speaker 3: you're married to? And most people can't relate to that necessarily,

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Speaker 3: but our next guest can't.

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Speaker 1: That's right because not only is our next guest getting

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Speaker 1: into the dating world after a very long marriage, a

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Speaker 1: marriage of over thirty years, but her marriage is probably

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Speaker 1: not like yours or not like one you're used to seeing,

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Speaker 1: because today we are diving into the world of polygamy

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Speaker 1: plural marriages. So, yes, what does your life look like

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Speaker 1: after you've been married for over thirty years, you've shared

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Speaker 1: your husband with sister wives, and you've done it all

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Speaker 1: in front of the world. Actually, so yes, you navigate.

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Speaker 1: You've got a million things going on here, navigating dating

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Speaker 1: at this point in your life and navigating it with

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Speaker 1: the world watching. So we're talking about all of this

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Speaker 1: with one of the stars of Sister Wives, Mary Brown,

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Speaker 1: is joining us today. Mary, Welcome to the podcast and

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Speaker 1: how are you feeling. How you doing I'm.

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Speaker 4: Doing so good. Thank you so much for inviting me

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Speaker 4: on to have a conversation with you guys. I'm really

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Speaker 4: excited about it.

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Speaker 3: Andy Keith, Can you do we have it right? Give

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Speaker 3: us the official count? How many seasons has the show

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Speaker 3: actually been on and do we have it right? Have

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Speaker 3: you done just a you've done every season?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I've done every season. It's been officially nineteen seasons,

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Speaker 4: but it's about fifteen years. But yeah, nineteen seasons.

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Speaker 3: Well, congratulations to anybody who can last on a TV

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Speaker 3: show for that long. First and foremost, so congratulations the

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Speaker 3: drama that we bring.

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Speaker 4: Drama. They did not us like a bad happen.

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Speaker 1: So we said you were married to your ex Cody

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Speaker 1: for anyone who's a fan of the show for thirty years.

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Speaker 1: But you were clear this up for us because I

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Speaker 1: was trying to get my head around this. You actually

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Speaker 1: legally were divorced in twenty fourteen, but you were spiritually

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Speaker 1: divorced just last season. Correct, Can you explain what happened

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Speaker 1: to or if I got that right.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, So in polygamy and the religious culture that we

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Speaker 4: came from, well not just a religious culture anywhere polygamy

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Speaker 4: is not legal, but in our culture that we came from,

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Speaker 4: we had what we called spiritual marriages, right, and so

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Speaker 4: all of those were valid to us. So for me,

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Speaker 4: when I did the legal divorce, it was for the

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Speaker 4: purpose of Robin or sorry Cody, adopting Robin's kids, and

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Speaker 4: in order to do that, he needed to be legally

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Speaker 4: married to her, or at least not legally married to me.

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Speaker 2: How did that feel?

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Speaker 4: It was? It was hard. It was. It was definitely hard,

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Speaker 4: just because like and a lot of people just I mean,

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Speaker 4: you can't get your head wrapped around it unless you're

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Speaker 4: in it. Right. Even my sister Wrives, I don't think,

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Speaker 4: really understood it because when they got married, they got

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Speaker 4: spiritually marriage, which was hund of percent valid. We considered

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Speaker 4: all of us equals on that level. But when I

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Speaker 4: got married, the person who who married us did the

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Speaker 4: legal and the spiritual at the same time. Right, he

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Speaker 4: was authorized for the for the legal and the state,

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Speaker 4: and then also the ecclesiastical authority in the church, right,

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Speaker 4: So he did both of them at the same time

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Speaker 4: as one marriage. Right. It wasn't like a legal one

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Speaker 4: and then a separate spiritual one. And so when I

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Speaker 4: went through and had that legal divorce, it felt emotionally

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Speaker 4: like it was the marriage, even though logically I'm like,

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Speaker 4: I know that it's not the spiritual part of it.

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Speaker 4: We're just doing the legal part of it, you know.

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Speaker 4: So so it was it was a mind game for sure.

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Speaker 3: Would the spiritual part have held up? Do you think

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Speaker 3: if you didn't have to go through that emotional trauma

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Speaker 3: of the legal divorce, I'm saying, did it precipitate you

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Speaker 3: certainly go in that direction.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. We talked about it, you know, and our plan

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Speaker 4: and our intention was that that spiritual aspect of the

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Speaker 4: marriage was going to continue. I mean that that was

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Speaker 4: the plan and we did. We'd continue that for a

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Speaker 4: while to a couple of.

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Speaker 2: So how did the plan go off the rails?

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Speaker 4: I think that Cody and I just had some issues,

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Speaker 4: you know, like many marriages do you know, you just

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Speaker 4: have issues and are you going to work through them

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Speaker 4: or are you're going to not? And he and I

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Speaker 4: were already having some of those. I mean, ours was

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Speaker 4: a roller coaster marriage from the beginning, Like we had

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Speaker 4: high highs on lo lows. You know, I've got so

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Speaker 4: many good memories, but also there's also, you know, not

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Speaker 4: so good memories. And I think that's normal, And I

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Speaker 4: think it just came down to the fact that both

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Speaker 4: of us weren't willing to work on it. And if

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Speaker 4: you're not both willing to work on it, it's not

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Speaker 4: going to work.

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Speaker 3: Well, didn't mar it anybody listening right? You just said

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Speaker 3: a very something that everybody's ever been in a relationship

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Speaker 3: or said. Marriages go through things, you go through issues,

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Speaker 3: you have these conflicts. However, Mary, not everybody had some

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Speaker 3: of the issues in your house that you did. When

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Speaker 3: you're talking about multiple spouses, how much do you think

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Speaker 3: the multiple spouses worthy thing that played into ule's dynamic?

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Speaker 3: And if the other spouses weren't there, could you and

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Speaker 3: your husband have lived happily ever after?

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Speaker 4: No, I don't think we would have. I don't think

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Speaker 4: that we would have because it was, you know, like

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Speaker 4: he and he said it on the show, so I'm

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Speaker 4: not It's not like I'm throwing him under the bus.

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Speaker 4: He's saying it himself that he just he didn't let

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Speaker 4: me like he needed to love me right, his soulmate

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Speaker 4: is somebody else. And I think that it became hard

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Speaker 4: for him to manage and to carry like four relationships.

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Speaker 4: I think I think he was just tired of it.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, it's sounds difficult, exhausting, and to not be attempted

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Speaker 3: but to each his own.

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Speaker 1: Mary, were you raised in polygamy? Did your parents have

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Speaker 1: plural marriages? Yes, so this was nothing foreign to you.

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Speaker 4: No, it was not foreign to me. I my dad

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Speaker 4: had five wives. I've got twenty five siblings, some of

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Speaker 4: them I'm closer to than others. And I think that's

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Speaker 4: just the normal human dynamic that you know some people

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Speaker 4: you're going to connect with more than others. And when

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Speaker 4: you've got twenty five siblings, you know some of them

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Speaker 4: I'm really close to, and some of them some of

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Speaker 4: them I'm not so. But yeah, it was not foreign

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Speaker 4: to me at all.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever had a relationship where it's just been

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Speaker 1: one on one, there are no other women involved in

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Speaker 1: your relationship, And is that something you're interested in seeking?

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Speaker 4: I am one going monogamous from hair on app I'm

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Speaker 4: not going to go into a plural situation anymore. So,

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Speaker 4: and people ask me why I would have changed my

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Speaker 4: mind on that, and I'll tell you why. I was

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Speaker 4: raised in a religious culture where I believe that that

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Speaker 4: was something necessary for my spiritual growth, spiritual exaltation, whatever

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Speaker 4: it was that they try to teach you, and I

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Speaker 4: don't believe in that. I don't subscribe to that religious

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Speaker 4: culture anymore. Therefore, I'm not going to live that aspect

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Speaker 4: of it. I'm religious, I have a relationship with God.

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Speaker 4: I'm well, let me correct myself. I'm spiritual. I'm not religious.

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Speaker 4: I don't subscribe to a religious culture, culture or structure.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, so the reason why I did it in

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Speaker 4: the first place was because it was part of my

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Speaker 4: religious belief which I now don't believe in.

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Speaker 3: So I'm not going to How long does it take

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Speaker 3: on a date with someone before all that comes up?

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Speaker 4: It depends. It depends on the date, and it depends

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Speaker 4: on the person.

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Speaker 3: Okay, do some go forward even before your drink order

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Speaker 3: is in some way till dessert? When does that come up?

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Speaker 4: Very It's been a very interesting process. You know, you

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Speaker 4: kind of have to like, Okay, there's lots of things

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Speaker 4: about me that we need to talk about and want

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Speaker 4: to about it, you know what I mean. It's like,

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Speaker 4: not only is there the polygamy, Let's be clear, I'm

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Speaker 4: not doing that again, so don't make funny jokes about like, oh,

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Speaker 4: you're open to that. No, no, I'm not actually, And

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Speaker 4: then there's also oh and then by the way, there's

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Speaker 4: this TV show you know what I mean, And like,

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Speaker 4: I've been on dates with people where like I can't tell,

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Speaker 4: like I try to read the people. It's like do

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Speaker 4: you know who I am? Do you not? And it's

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Speaker 4: very awkward and uncomfortable. Halfway through the date when when

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Speaker 4: they're like, oh, yeah, I know who you are, it's like, well,

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Speaker 4: lead with that. But they're like, I to be normal too.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 2: Have you ever thought about just saying, like, google me before.

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Speaker 1: You want to go on the date and then let

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Speaker 1: me know if you still feel the same way.

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Speaker 4: Interesting. I was talking to a guy one time. It

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Speaker 4: was through one of the dating apps, and I hadn't

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Speaker 4: we hadn't got to the point yet like that we're

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Speaker 4: going to share deep dark secrets, right, and so I

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Speaker 4: had never said anything yet. We're just chatting and getting

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Speaker 4: to know each other a little bit. Well, then the

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Speaker 4: show was advertised because it was about to start airing

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Speaker 4: for that season. It must have been last season, and

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Speaker 4: he sent me a message. He's like, so, I'm all

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Speaker 4: about honesty and I just need to just be upfront

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Speaker 4: with you. I saw this advertisement for the show and

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Speaker 4: you're on it, and so he was like, I can't.

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Speaker 4: I'm not interested, basically, Like he was very kind and

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Speaker 4: he was very respectful, but he was just like, Nope,

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Speaker 4: not interested. You know, with their religious background and stuff,

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Speaker 4: I'm just not all right, that's fair.

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Speaker 3: You have to find out early. And I something you

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Speaker 3: said a moment ago. I wasn't sure if you were

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Speaker 3: completely joking, but kind of it seems like maybe some

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Speaker 3: guys who find out about your background, do they get

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Speaker 3: kind of excited and say, hey, she's open to whatever.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah. I definitely ross men that are like, ooh,

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Speaker 4: can I have my five minutes minutes of fame? Oh oh.

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Speaker 4: It's a very weird thing because you know, I have

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Speaker 4: to navigate, you know, the public part of it, because

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Speaker 4: some people do not want to have any publicity at all,

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Speaker 4: and some people they're all for it. You know. It's

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Speaker 4: not like I can go on a date and be like, oh,

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Speaker 4: and by the way, can we bring cameras along for

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Speaker 4: my TV show? You know what I mean? Like, so

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Speaker 4: it's like it's you have to be careful with it.

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Speaker 4: But then you've got the polygamy thing too, and you

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Speaker 4: know all the history, and it's.

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Speaker 2: Like, oh, it's complicated a lot.

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Speaker 4: I'm a lot.

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Speaker 1: So now that your divorce has been finalized legally, have

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Speaker 1: you given any thought to changing your last name, to

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Speaker 1: maybe owning who you were at eighteen?

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Speaker 2: In your path forward?

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Speaker 4: Legally and spiritually it's done, right, So let's be clear.

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Speaker 4: Legally it was done in twenty fourteen, but spiritually so

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Speaker 4: like it is done. I have had the conversation many

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Speaker 4: times with my best friend and in some other people too,

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Speaker 4: you know, like are you get to change your name?

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Speaker 4: And right now I'm not going to, And you know,

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Speaker 4: people are like, why are you giving him that? You know,

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Speaker 4: like you still have his name. It's like, but also

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Speaker 4: I have the name that I've had for thirty five years,

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Speaker 4: you know what I mean, Like I only had my

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Speaker 4: other name, my dad's name, you know, for nineteen years.

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Speaker 4: And also there's a lot of rs in it, and

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Speaker 4: it's really hard to say. So brown is a hell

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Speaker 4: a lot easier.

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Speaker 2: What's your maiden name?

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Speaker 4: Barber? And I've got an R in my name, so

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Speaker 4: it's Mary Barber And it's really hard.

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Speaker 2: To say Mary Brown just flows better.

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Speaker 4: Me and one of my sisters we joke about all

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Speaker 4: the time, is like, yeah, because she's also divorced. For like, no,

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Speaker 4: we're just not gonna love your dad, but we're not

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Speaker 4: going to go back to the maiden name.

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Speaker 3: I have one more thing on your current dating status.

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Speaker 3: Is there anybody that's a real possibility right now? Are

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Speaker 3: you actually dating in one in a relationship right now?

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Speaker 3: I mean, I guess how many dates have you gone?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 3: How how long has one guy lasted? And he make

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Speaker 3: it the three dates? Five dates?

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Speaker 4: I guess.

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Speaker 3: I'm asking what your status is.

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Speaker 4: Okay, my current status is I am not dating anybody exclusively.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 2: Single and ready to mingle.

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Speaker 3: Wait, she said I'm not dating anybody exclusively. She didn't

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Speaker 3: say she's not dating anybody?

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Speaker 2: Correct?

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Speaker 4: Correct?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean in the in the trailer for this

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Speaker 1: next season, it sounds like you're dating a lot.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I am, I have. I mean, that sounds

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Speaker 4: really bad. It's not like I'm dating around it.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I didn't mean I was like, good for you.

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Speaker 2: I meant that so positively.

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Speaker 4: Okay, Yeah, yeah, I do date when I find somebody

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Speaker 4: that matches my energy. I think there's a lot more

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Speaker 4: men that would want to date me or whatever it

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Speaker 4: is that they want to do, and I'm not interested,

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Speaker 4: you know, like that, I'm very selective about who I date.

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Speaker 4: I'm very selective about who I bring into my world.

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Speaker 4: And it's a privilege to be in my world and

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Speaker 4: not just anybody gets to be. So, you know, Plus,

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Speaker 4: I am a lot, you know, I'm a business owner.

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Speaker 4: I travel a lot, you know, and I'm building businesses

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Speaker 4: and doing all these things. And can they handle that,

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Speaker 4: because some men just can't. They need do there all

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Speaker 4: the time? They want to text you all the time,

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Speaker 4: and I don't need that.

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Speaker 1: Do you believe in having or finding a soulmate in

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Speaker 1: Do you believe that there's that one person out there

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Speaker 1: for you who you could exclusively spend the rest of

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Speaker 1: your life with.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah I do. I do. But I also I

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Speaker 4: remember being in a sociology class in college years ago,

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Speaker 4: and I remember the professor saying, and coming from a

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Speaker 4: scientific standpoint, that there's not just one person for everybody, Like, scientifically,

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Speaker 4: it's like eight people in the world or fifteen people

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Speaker 4: in the world that could be or one person. It's

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Speaker 4: just a matter of finding that person at the right

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Speaker 4: time for both of you. So I don't necessarily believe

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Speaker 4: there's only one person and where in the world am

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Speaker 4: I going to find him? You know what I mean?

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Speaker 4: But I do believe that there is somebody that I

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Speaker 4: can find that our values align, our morals align, our

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Speaker 4: energies align, our laughter aligns, you know, and we want

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Speaker 4: to spend the rest of our lives together.

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Speaker 1: Would you seriously consider exclusively dating someone who is very religious?

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Speaker 4: I would consider it. Not everything is off the table,

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Speaker 4: but I would prefer somebody who is very spiritual rather

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Speaker 4: than very religious. I'm just not into the cult following.

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Speaker 4: Let's put it that way.

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Speaker 1: Would you describe the life you lived in terms of

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Speaker 1: the one you grew up in and the one you

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Speaker 1: chose at nineteen?

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Speaker 2: Was that cult like?

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Speaker 4: Yes? Yeah, I think any structured religion is very cult like.

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Speaker 1: And what was the point in which you said I

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Speaker 1: want out?

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Speaker 4: It was gradual for me, It was really gradual. I

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Speaker 4: think that it was even before we moved to Las Vegas,

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Speaker 4: like even you know, maybe around the time that we're

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Speaker 4: talking about doing the sell, you know, fifteen sixteen s Wow.

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Speaker 4: I think that I found myself like questioning. But I

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Speaker 4: never talked to anybody about it. I never talked to

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Speaker 4: Cody about it. I didn't talk to my sisteries about it.

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Speaker 4: It was just something that I was like processing within

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Speaker 4: myself because there were so many things up until that

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Speaker 4: point in my life that I was always wrong for.

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Speaker 4: I was wrong for how I handled marriage. I was

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Speaker 4: wrong for you know, my body, was wrong for not

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Speaker 4: being able to have more babies. I was wrong when

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Speaker 4: I would have jealousy issues with you know, when when

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Speaker 4: wives would come into the family. And now I'm questioning

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Speaker 4: my religion. So you can bet I'm not talking to

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Speaker 4: anybody about it because I'm also going to be wrong

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Speaker 4: for that, and I knew that would be the case.

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Speaker 4: So I didn't talk to anybody about it. I just

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Speaker 4: kind of like went along and did what I was

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Speaker 4: supposed to do and went to church if I needed to,

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Speaker 4: but was totally happy to work on a Sunday as well,

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Speaker 4: so I didn't have to go to church, you know

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Speaker 4: what I mean. And so it was just kind of

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Speaker 4: that little excuse for me, and so I think it

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Speaker 4: was a gradual thing for me once we did finally

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Speaker 4: move to Las Vegas and we were kind of separated

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Speaker 4: from it. You know, we had the intention of, well,

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Speaker 4: let's take our kids back and do different things within

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Speaker 4: in the church structure, and we never did, and I

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Speaker 4: was okay with it. I was good with it. So

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Speaker 4: it was for me that it was gradual until the

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Speaker 4: point that I finally was like, no, I'm not doing this.

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Speaker 3: I'm not doing The trailer for the the new season

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Speaker 3: has a clip. It is a short, didn't have full context,

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Speaker 3: but you're talking to Cody and you're saying, we will

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Speaker 3: never be together. You were saying that to him, But

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Speaker 3: how are you all right now?

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Speaker 4: Me and Cody in particular, Yeah, we still have a

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Speaker 4: very rollercoaster relationship.

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Speaker 2: But you can laugh about it.

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Speaker 4: I guess I can't, just because it is what it is.

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Speaker 4: You know, Like, I wish him the best. I think

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Speaker 4: he's a great person. He's very charismatic. I think that

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Speaker 4: there's you know, there's things that I wish he would improve.

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Speaker 4: But that's just my perspective, and I'm sure he thinks

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Speaker 4: that there's things in me that could improve, and this

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Speaker 4: is why we are split, right. But I don't think

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Speaker 4: he's a bad person. I think that our values just

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Speaker 4: don't line and when we try to push those on

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Speaker 4: each other, that's when we have conflict. And so we will,

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Speaker 4: like literally within the same week, we yelled at each

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Speaker 4: other and we told each other to leave me the

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Speaker 4: f alone, and then we hugged each other. It's like,

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Speaker 4: I don't wish you any ill, will just leave me

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Speaker 4: the f alone, you know what I mean. So it's

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Speaker 4: it's very rollercoaster.

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Speaker 3: But are you that's uh, that's fascinating. Yeah, but are

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Speaker 3: you well normal though? I feel like this is normal

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Speaker 3: within that you know what it might actually be. There

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Speaker 3: are so many people we talk about this all the time,

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Speaker 3: folks who will look from the outside and they want

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Speaker 3: to judge you, or judge your relationship, or judge what

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Speaker 3: you're doing. And so many other people right now if

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Speaker 3: they started listening now, all they're hearing you talk about

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Speaker 3: is a normal relationship and the same stuff that they

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Speaker 3: are dealing with, even though yours might have looked a

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Speaker 3: little different and might have been on TV. But yes,

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Speaker 3: we can relate to what you're saying, because trust me,

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Speaker 3: this one here, who Lord have mercy, Lordy.

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Speaker 2: Lordy, It's never boring.

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Speaker 1: Let's just say that I'm curious, Mary, would you say,

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Speaker 1: over the thirty three years that you and Cody were together,

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Speaker 1: you've obviously changed, and you've talked about your evolution.

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Speaker 2: Has Cody changed? Who is he now?

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Speaker 1: Or the man you ended up leaving or separating from

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Speaker 1: versus the man who you fell in love with and married.

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Speaker 4: I think that it would be foolish for either of

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Speaker 4: us to say that we haven't changed in some way,

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Speaker 4: shape or form, because that is the point of life

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Speaker 4: is to change. The point is to improve, and I

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Speaker 4: hope that we can always improve. And I'm also not

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Speaker 4: going to put any judgment on him. And also there

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Speaker 4: are things that I think that he did better in

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Speaker 4: his younger years than he does now, as like what parenting.

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Speaker 4: Parenting is a big one. The way that he parents

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Speaker 4: breaks my heart, it really does. He's got children who

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Speaker 4: need him and want to have a relationship with him,

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Speaker 4: and he's not putting in the I don't see. I

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Speaker 4: can't say he's not, but I don't see effort being

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Speaker 4: put in where some of his kids really need it.

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Speaker 4: And knowing him as a young dad. I mean, he

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Speaker 4: was all about his kids, all about his kids, and

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Speaker 4: like they were they were his world. And so it's

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Speaker 4: really sad to see the challenges that he and his

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Speaker 4: kids are going through right now.

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Speaker 3: But Mary, what happened from his younger days to now?

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Speaker 3: He's the same guy, still a dad.

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Speaker 4: I guess what. Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 3: You don't know.

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Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't And it wouldn't be fair

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Speaker 4: for me to put any you know, place, any judgment

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Speaker 4: or you know, I can't say exactly what happened because

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Speaker 4: that just wouldn't be fair for me to do.

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Speaker 2: How many kids does Cody have now? I've eight, eighteen, eighteen?

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Speaker 4: Wow?

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Speaker 1: And they arrange in age, I'm sure, from.

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Speaker 4: The youngest I think is eight or nine and then

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Speaker 4: the oldest is thirty one. Wow.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that's a lot.

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Speaker 1: We have so much more we want to talk about

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Speaker 1: with Mary Brown, So stay tuned because we'll have part

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Speaker 1: two of our conversation up next