1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,240 Speaker 1: I told my friend that she should have predicted that 2 00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: her husband would cheat on her? 3 00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:04,840 Speaker 2: Am I the a whole? 4 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:07,720 Speaker 1: This is okop where we read the craziest true stories 5 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:12,039 Speaker 1: on Earth. I'm John and Sam and are incredible guests. 6 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: Of course, Taran and Ashley from the Unsolicited podcast? Do 7 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,520 Speaker 1: we think that this person is the A whole? Should 8 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:21,479 Speaker 1: they have predicted that the husband would cheat? Should they 9 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:21,840 Speaker 1: have known? 10 00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:22,720 Speaker 3: I think that's a. 11 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 4: Little a holy sound a little finally answer holy, Yeah, 12 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:27,760 Speaker 4: like you're cheating. 13 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 1: It's kind of an abrasive thing. 14 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:38,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like it's a little victim. Oh, oh yeah, 15 00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:40,440 Speaker 2: you should have known that he was cheating? How would 16 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 2: you be so silly as your own faults be a 17 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 2: little bit more surelock get the freaking magnifying glass. 18 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 1: Well, y'all, there's only one way to find out. And 19 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: this comes from real Basil eight four eight seven. They 20 00:00:55,360 --> 00:01:00,160 Speaker 1: say background, I thirty five female, was friends with Julie 21 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 1: thirty five female and Alex thirty four male. We have 22 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 1: been friends since college, but our tiny group expanded from 23 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 1: three to seven. This story is about my friend Julia 24 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 1: and my friend Alex. Two years ago, we all came 25 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 1: to know that my friend Alex was having an affair 26 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 1: with a married man. Her excuse was that he was 27 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:24,759 Speaker 1: unhappy and that is why he was seeking outside validation. 28 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 5: Just want to give excuse. I'll bring that up to 29 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:30,479 Speaker 5: make sure. 30 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:32,400 Speaker 3: You have I had on the enneagram. 31 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 6: Now what is that? 32 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:38,399 Speaker 1: Oh? 33 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:49,639 Speaker 2: That'd? So I advised my friend Anna to stop it. 34 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 1: And that this is not healthy because he will not 35 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 1: leave his wife. My friend Alex, she didn't listen, rather 36 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: accused me of being a bad friend to her. All 37 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 1: of my friends are against it, but to them it 38 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 1: was quote unquote not my monkey, not my circus. 39 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:07,600 Speaker 5: So fascinating. 40 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:15,160 Speaker 1: So I contacted the wife and told her everything. I 41 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:19,160 Speaker 1: knew who the wife was because the married man once 42 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:24,639 Speaker 1: introduced us. And now everyone in my friend group has 43 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,960 Speaker 1: turned against me, especially my friend Julia, because she thinks 44 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,680 Speaker 1: that I have betrayed my friends. We have to right 45 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:35,080 Speaker 1: here and break this down a little bit. Can we 46 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:38,440 Speaker 1: get some unsolicited advice on what's going on here? 47 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:41,239 Speaker 5: That's a ballsy move to take that on yourself. Yeah, 48 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 5: like take that power. 49 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,360 Speaker 4: It's one of those things that again I land on 50 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,840 Speaker 4: what like you treat others how you would like to 51 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:51,920 Speaker 4: be treated? Like if I was being cheated on and 52 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,520 Speaker 4: just thinking I'm like in love and in a great marriage. 53 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:56,560 Speaker 4: Would I want to know? Would I care how I 54 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,680 Speaker 4: found out? No, I just want to know. Right, But 55 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 4: then if you look on her end, like she doesn't 56 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 4: even know the other person, like it is a lot 57 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,680 Speaker 4: to like put yourself in, so like, are you just 58 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 4: doing that because you love the drama and you want 59 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,640 Speaker 4: to be involved or are you genuinely trying to just 60 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:09,240 Speaker 4: do the right thing. 61 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:10,760 Speaker 5: Honestly, it's not. 62 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 7: It doesn't feel like her place at It feels very 63 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 7: much like I'm I'm now making this about me and 64 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,320 Speaker 7: I'm becoming a star player in this whole thing, and 65 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:20,519 Speaker 7: I'm going to save the whole situation and make it 66 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 7: all about her. 67 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,200 Speaker 5: And it has nothing to do with her. 68 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:25,040 Speaker 2: It should come from the people within the relationship. 69 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,360 Speaker 5: It's not a third wheel. This is an open relationship. 70 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:33,320 Speaker 2: What about the home wrecker saying something or. 71 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,200 Speaker 1: Going to the friend Alex and being like, if you 72 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 1: don't tell, then I will. 73 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 7: I like forcing that again, I feel it's not her place. 74 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 7: And anyway, we can be mad at the our friend 75 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 7: and we can keep like telling them like if you 76 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 7: don't do something, I'm going to do something, or we 77 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,760 Speaker 7: can like completely like cut them off and be like 78 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 7: I don't support what you're doing. I'm our friendship is 79 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 7: over because of it until you fix this. But that's 80 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 7: not her place. 81 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,119 Speaker 2: It's not her place like that, like, hey, I don't 82 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 2: think we can can in. 83 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 7: Your Yeah, my moral values are saying I don't agree 84 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 7: with this, so I can't be your friend. 85 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think the married man is the first person 86 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 2: that I like. And in terms of like the people 87 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 2: that should say the truth, it's like, goes the married man, 88 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 2: then maybe like Julia, and then all the way at 89 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 2: the bottom it's opiate. 90 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 1: Yea, all the way to the bottom, Riley might look 91 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,279 Speaker 1: a good now, thanks baby? 92 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,599 Speaker 2: All right, So back to the story. 93 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 1: My friend Julia stopped talking to me because if I 94 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:30,680 Speaker 1: can betray a close friend of mine, then I can 95 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 1: betray her as well. Valid My other friend Alex was 96 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 1: heartbroken because the married man decided that he want to 97 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 1: work on his marriage. 98 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 3: He did. 99 00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 1: My friend Julia was with my other friend Alex, and 100 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 1: I was shunned from our friend group. What happened now, 101 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,279 Speaker 1: A few weeks ago, I got a call from my 102 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 1: friend Julia. She was crying and telling me that Alex 103 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:02,480 Speaker 1: betrayed her. Turns out, Alex had been having an affair 104 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 1: with Julia's husband. Wait, character, there was there was an 105 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:14,440 Speaker 1: initial cheating scandal that was totally outside of everyone, right, 106 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 1: that was cheating scandal number one. 107 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 2: But who is involved? Because yeah, Alex was the person cheating. 108 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,360 Speaker 2: Alex was the cheater, the original. 109 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 1: Cheater with the married man with the married man, and Julia, 110 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:32,599 Speaker 1: for reasons unknown, was just defending Alex, you know, or 111 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,719 Speaker 1: like for reasons of like, oh, she's your friend. 112 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 3: You know, I think I missed that part. 113 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:41,599 Speaker 4: So she was writing she actually was having an affair 114 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 4: with the married man, and then I go and tell 115 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 4: the married man's wife that's what the scenario was. 116 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,719 Speaker 1: It was yeah, yeah, so okay, okay, he was the 117 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,919 Speaker 1: one that So the first cheating scandal was kind of 118 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 1: outside of the friend group, right, it was a totally 119 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 1: different couple. 120 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,120 Speaker 4: So she betrayed her friend by like telling the married 121 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:58,680 Speaker 4: man's wife, like what had happened? 122 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:00,560 Speaker 2: Okay, I'm betrayal. 123 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 1: Yes, this betrayal is Julia the person who's riding for 124 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,920 Speaker 1: her cheating friend, her cheating friend who she rode for 125 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 1: cheated and trying to steal her husband. 126 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 5: Now, so. 127 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 3: For her, I'm trying to get with your husband. 128 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,360 Speaker 2: Now Alex is switching around, and yeah. 129 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:22,919 Speaker 7: Alex was Alex was the married husband. 130 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:26,479 Speaker 5: Yeah, and now switch and now she's. 131 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 7: Cheating Steel, the husband of the very woman, Julia, her husband, Yes, 132 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 7: Julia's husband. 133 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 5: She just getting around, isn't she? 134 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:40,279 Speaker 1: Alex is she's slaying at that And Julia said that 135 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:43,480 Speaker 1: she was heartbroken because she was so supportive of her. 136 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,919 Speaker 1: And this is how Alex repays her. Even our friend 137 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,320 Speaker 1: group is still divided. I was angry at that moment. 138 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,520 Speaker 1: I mean, she ignored me for two years, bad mouth 139 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:55,560 Speaker 1: to me, said that I was wrong. I literally warned 140 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,840 Speaker 1: her that Alex was toxic. So I told her what 141 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 1: could she expect coming from Alex? 142 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:06,159 Speaker 2: Right? I mean so two years got again? Yeah, fish 143 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:07,279 Speaker 2: one and now. 144 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,080 Speaker 5: Not like that's better. But in my head, this all 145 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:09,960 Speaker 5: happened really fast. 146 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:14,400 Speaker 2: So just to just so I understand, So Alex cheated 147 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 2: with the married man and then Alex stole like then 148 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 2: cheated with Julia. Julia's husband. 149 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 4: Op has been shunned because she told Alex's husband's mistress 150 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 4: what was going on and saying, Julia, what did you expect? 151 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 2: Yes, she is someone what well she steals husbands. 152 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,240 Speaker 4: Husband Steelers, the husband Steeler, that's your new name, Alex 153 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 4: here we have sounds like a w w E. 154 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:46,200 Speaker 2: So I mean, did she really think that she will 155 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,440 Speaker 2: show loyalty towards you when she already did something moral before? 156 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:52,880 Speaker 1: Now I knew the moment she made excuses for having 157 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 1: the affair with a married man, her morals were compromised. 158 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 1: I am not religious, but I do have a minimum 159 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,840 Speaker 1: amount of respect towards other people and their feelings, and 160 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:03,480 Speaker 1: suffice to say, I am not surprised that she went 161 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:06,760 Speaker 1: after her husband. I now do think that I went 162 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 1: too far originally and basically outing the original. 163 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:13,200 Speaker 2: Which was a little bit not not her place, not 164 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 2: her monkey. I love that. I love that. 165 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 1: This is because some of my other friends said that 166 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: I was too harsh on her, even if I said, 167 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 1: what was the truth, I should have been more sensitive 168 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 1: because she is going through a divorce. I sympathize with Julia. 169 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 1: Oh oh, so now she's talking about how she went 170 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 1: back to Julian and was like, what did you expect? Yeah, 171 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 1: when she's Julia's now going through all of us. This 172 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,120 Speaker 1: is now we're going to the original title. 173 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 2: The asshole. Yes, what did what did you expect? She 174 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:47,200 Speaker 2: was a cheater? Cheater one, she's going to cheat again exactly. 175 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 1: I do sympathize with my friend Julia, but I also 176 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:53,080 Speaker 1: feel like as friends sometimes we need to tell them 177 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 1: the harsh truth. I know I said all of this 178 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:58,360 Speaker 1: when I was angry, but a part of me says 179 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 1: that she just needed to hear that was I wrong. 180 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,960 Speaker 1: We have some relevant questions or comments that we're going 181 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 1: to get into, but now that we have more context. 182 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, I will say yes, I do think so, 183 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:18,160 Speaker 4: just because like if Ash does something stupid after I 184 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 4: told her not to do it and she's like broken 185 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,559 Speaker 4: hearted about it, like that's. 186 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,120 Speaker 3: Validating me to go in and be like, well I 187 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:24,880 Speaker 3: told you. 188 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 4: Like you shouldn't have done that, orreas if I'm looking 189 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,680 Speaker 4: at her as a friend, I'm going to sympathize with her, 190 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,760 Speaker 4: and then if we want to then talk about it, 191 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,679 Speaker 4: I could be like, well, like, you kind of have 192 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,079 Speaker 4: like some signs in there, but that doesn't need to 193 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:37,560 Speaker 4: be the first thing that comes out of your mouth. 194 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,000 Speaker 4: You can just like support your friends totally. I feel 195 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:40,600 Speaker 4: like that's. 196 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,559 Speaker 2: A great point, self serving. 197 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 4: Even though it's valid what she said is true, but 198 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:45,960 Speaker 4: you don't always have to say what's true, or else 199 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 4: you will have no friends. 200 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:47,480 Speaker 2: Yeah. 201 00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:50,120 Speaker 7: I think that kind of like coincides with how she 202 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:53,440 Speaker 7: overreacted the first time in going and telling the mistress. 203 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:54,920 Speaker 5: I feel like she. 204 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:55,040 Speaker 3: She's the truth. 205 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,840 Speaker 7: She really loves justice, and she really loves proving. 206 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:00,880 Speaker 5: She loves evidence, she loves like proving her. 207 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:01,959 Speaker 3: She's on air. 208 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 7: I think she she's very right and wrong, and I 209 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:07,360 Speaker 7: think she I understand the desire to say I told 210 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,000 Speaker 7: you so, especially after being shunned for that long, but 211 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,720 Speaker 7: I again, unnecessary to go and tell the mistress. Unnecessary 212 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 7: to bring that up when your friend just got hurt 213 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:15,840 Speaker 7: like that. 214 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:19,000 Speaker 1: Yes, and that actually leads right into this relevant comment 215 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 1: that comes from Bend b Was there really any benefit 216 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,200 Speaker 1: to telling her I told you so? 217 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,120 Speaker 2: It does seem a little petty. Yeah, very better, Yeah, 218 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,480 Speaker 2: Op says I agree. 219 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 1: It was petty because at that moment, I was angry 220 00:10:31,559 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 1: she ostracized me for telling the wife the truth and 221 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:38,960 Speaker 1: breaking Alex's relationship because friends should stick together, and she 222 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,840 Speaker 1: took part in justifying the affair. 223 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:44,840 Speaker 2: I was just enraged by her hypocrisy. So to be fair, though, 224 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:48,800 Speaker 2: like it wasn't a good move to tell the wife. 225 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,160 Speaker 5: Yeah, like, yeah, I understand the anger. 226 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 7: I understand that watching that hypocrisy and being like enraged 227 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 7: by that, but like that's still not your relationship. 228 00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:58,880 Speaker 5: To God, it's not your place. 229 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 1: I think op was few like wanting to get vengeance 230 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 1: after because it seems like Julia was kind of the 231 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:08,320 Speaker 1: one that really orchestrated kicking out of the frame years ago. 232 00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:10,720 Speaker 2: So she's now like now I get my chance to 233 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 2: like twist that. 234 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:14,880 Speaker 4: See what you did wrong is you can stand up 235 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 4: and like yell to everyone who a person is, but 236 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,880 Speaker 4: it's so much louder if you sit back and let 237 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,280 Speaker 4: that person reveal who they are. 238 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,199 Speaker 3: So like she she should have just. 239 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:26,600 Speaker 4: Sat in that victory and been like, there are true 240 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 4: colors and I'm gonna wait till you guys come and 241 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:31,560 Speaker 4: apologize to me for like her being who she is. 242 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 3: Like then she didn't have to justify anything. She should 243 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,360 Speaker 3: have just sat back and like let justice suet's own 244 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:37,199 Speaker 3: than you know. 245 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:49,600 Speaker 1: That beautifully said Yeah truly, Wow, God incredible, we have 246 00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:50,679 Speaker 1: another juicy update. 247 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:55,959 Speaker 2: It's like a third person in the frame. 248 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:05,400 Speaker 4: Julia and Alex are dating. 249 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:06,679 Speaker 2: Update. 250 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,199 Speaker 1: I have read many of your comments. First of all, 251 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:12,360 Speaker 1: I want to make one thing clear about this that 252 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:16,439 Speaker 1: I do not regret telling the wife about the affair. Really, 253 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:19,200 Speaker 1: I do not think I did the wrong thing. My 254 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:23,440 Speaker 1: friend was doing something bad and sociopathic. In my opinion, 255 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:27,440 Speaker 1: she happily contributed to destroying a family knowing that man 256 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,920 Speaker 1: she was dating was a married man. I know the 257 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,360 Speaker 1: blame should be on him, but she also needs to 258 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,920 Speaker 1: take accountability of her actions. If I was getting cheated on, 259 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:39,160 Speaker 1: I would want to know, so I guess the wife 260 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,320 Speaker 1: also wanted to know. I know a lot of you 261 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:44,720 Speaker 1: shamed me, but just know that I do not care. 262 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 4: If you're going to make a bolt move, you might 263 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:50,880 Speaker 4: as well as well business. 264 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,719 Speaker 2: I think it's like morally the right thing to do, 265 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,440 Speaker 2: but it lacks like social tactics relation. 266 00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:59,200 Speaker 5: I'm not shocked her friends were like that. 267 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:06,080 Speaker 4: YO, buy some magazines, do a little ransom note and 268 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:10,720 Speaker 4: then you're not involved. 269 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 2: Could be a service. Yeah, yeah, we. 270 00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:18,720 Speaker 5: Will send anonymous letters. 271 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,080 Speaker 2: We will send an anonymous letter in the form of 272 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,439 Speaker 2: a ransom note. If you know someone is cheating, we 273 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:26,880 Speaker 2: can be the people. Wow, deliver on your hands. 274 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,959 Speaker 3: Yeah, scrap booking skills. 275 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:34,480 Speaker 1: There actually is very quick. Aside, there's this guy. I 276 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,600 Speaker 1: think he's like John the breakup person or something. And 277 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 1: literally this guy people just hire him to break to 278 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:45,160 Speaker 1: break terrible and he records all of it and and. 279 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:51,920 Speaker 5: Whoa, that's like Ryan's roses. But like yeah, yeah, like. 280 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 1: Your husband actually has three other families and he's choosing one. 281 00:13:56,520 --> 00:14:00,960 Speaker 1: It's how he's choosing one. And I'm and he hired 282 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:02,360 Speaker 1: me to tell you. 283 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:03,080 Speaker 3: That you're not it. 284 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:04,840 Speaker 5: You are not the winner, you are. 285 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:09,400 Speaker 2: Not the mother. Respond to that. Are they pissed at him? Ever? Oh, 286 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,120 Speaker 2: I'm sure. I'm sure. 287 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 4: I'm sure he gives a lot of therapy. Like they 288 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,000 Speaker 4: probably cry to him, like why is this happening to me? 289 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:25,800 Speaker 1: He's just like I am a messenger. Wow op, he 290 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:30,440 Speaker 1: says onto the actual update. So, Juice, I did speak 291 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:33,160 Speaker 1: to my friend Julia and said that I was sorry. 292 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:35,800 Speaker 1: I shouldn't have punched her while she was down. When 293 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,680 Speaker 1: she is already going through some stuff I did not 294 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 1: want to add to it. I know a lot of 295 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,400 Speaker 1: you have told me to just cut her off, but 296 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 1: I realized that I was too harsh on her, even 297 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 1: if what she did two years ago was wrong. But 298 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,040 Speaker 1: she came to me because she needed a friend I 299 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 1: could sympathize with her in her tough times. She just 300 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,600 Speaker 1: went on and on about how she felt betrayed by 301 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 1: Alex the cheater, when she always defended her, even when 302 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:06,560 Speaker 1: her own parents disowned her over it parents disowned her, 303 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,760 Speaker 1: Julia's parents, So Julia kept defending, defending, defending. 304 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:15,120 Speaker 2: Julia's parents disowned her, Julie supporting Alex. Apparently I don't 305 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,800 Speaker 2: understand that way. No, it's got to be it's got 306 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:21,119 Speaker 2: to be Alex's parents, right, even when her own. 307 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,440 Speaker 3: Parents her is Alex. 308 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:23,800 Speaker 2: I think her is she? 309 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:28,000 Speaker 1: I think she Alex, and she always defended her, even 310 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,000 Speaker 1: when her own parents So even when her Alex. 311 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:37,040 Speaker 2: So, yeah, that makes which version of. 312 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,160 Speaker 4: I'm just imagining your mom and dad calling me and 313 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:48,160 Speaker 4: being like, we did they. 314 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 2: Have a divorce which we may be able to use her. 315 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:57,520 Speaker 1: So, just out of curiosity, I asked Julia if she 316 00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:01,400 Speaker 1: plans to divorce her husband or to work things out 317 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 1: quick bets go around the table Ashley divorce, divorce. 318 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:05,600 Speaker 3: I don't know. 319 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,520 Speaker 4: I feel like it's going to be juicier if she's 320 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:08,320 Speaker 4: trying to work it out. 321 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:12,480 Speaker 2: Okay, So I think she should divorce. Oh should Yeah, 322 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,440 Speaker 2: she should divorce for sure? Is she going to I'm 323 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:20,160 Speaker 2: gonna say no because she was so supportive Alex, and 324 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:24,360 Speaker 2: I think that is like indicative of maybe her character. Yeah, 325 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,960 Speaker 2: her carrec and like maybe she wants to give second 326 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,560 Speaker 2: chances cheaters. 327 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,400 Speaker 1: I think I'm going to uh improve the segment. I'm 328 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,920 Speaker 1: going to need y'all to divorce chance and then I 329 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 1: will reveal the answer. 330 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:36,800 Speaker 2: Are you ready? Start us off? 331 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:44,000 Speaker 1: Sam, She's getting divorced. 332 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,240 Speaker 2: There you go. I like when people make good decisions. 333 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:54,720 Speaker 1: So now Julia's husband is begging her or another chance. 334 00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:58,240 Speaker 2: They always do, Babe, promise he'll be better. 335 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 1: And he even said that he will cut off all 336 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:04,399 Speaker 1: contacts with the cheating friend Alex, with the offer of 337 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,840 Speaker 1: opening up their marriage on her end. 338 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 4: So it's like I had my pass, why don't you 339 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:10,760 Speaker 4: have yours? 340 00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:11,960 Speaker 2: And then we'll call it even. 341 00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:14,560 Speaker 5: Why don't you get a hall pass for tat and 342 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:15,280 Speaker 5: then we're fair? 343 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:18,760 Speaker 2: Seems fair. 344 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 1: It seems like it would not work at all, But 345 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,440 Speaker 1: Julia is headstrong on her divorce. She did ask for 346 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 1: my forgiveness and I did forgive. 347 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:32,600 Speaker 2: Her, like. 348 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:38,640 Speaker 5: Choked on my own spit. 349 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,080 Speaker 2: We're gentleman. 350 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:45,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's the right move. Yeah, for sure, 351 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,159 Speaker 1: And it's great that they're so now o P and 352 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:48,439 Speaker 1: Julia are reconciling. 353 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,959 Speaker 2: I fel like, now that everything's on the table, uh, 354 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,920 Speaker 2: that the healing process can start. 355 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:57,359 Speaker 7: There's a moment where I realized Julia's husband probably sat 356 00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:00,159 Speaker 7: at home for a long time listening to Julie to 357 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,320 Speaker 7: talk about Alex and and how. 358 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,040 Speaker 5: How heartbroken she is for Alex and what a mess 359 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:08,280 Speaker 5: she is going through. And then he's like, who else you. 360 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:11,280 Speaker 2: Know what Alex did with her a fair partner. She 361 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,080 Speaker 2: did this and that. 362 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,760 Speaker 3: To Rash so she aso married men. 363 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 1: He says, But I still do not want anything to 364 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 1: do with her, even though they've both forgived each other. 365 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 1: I do feel sorry for her and hope that she 366 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:32,000 Speaker 1: finds peace, but our friendship will never be restored to 367 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:37,280 Speaker 1: its old glory. Wait, Julia and no longer friends, but 368 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:38,760 Speaker 1: they have forgiven each other. 369 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,880 Speaker 3: I mean, if you have years of being exiled, that's a. 370 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:48,199 Speaker 1: Lot when you were like trying to do the right thing. Yeah, 371 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,000 Speaker 1: she said that she understands and this is probably her 372 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:52,919 Speaker 1: karma and God punishing her. 373 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,000 Speaker 8: I feel like I got to visy with other things 374 00:18:57,240 --> 00:19:05,440 Speaker 8: my part. 375 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,040 Speaker 2: So that's the end. 376 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,680 Speaker 1: I hope she takes him to the cleaners and from 377 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,400 Speaker 1: the grapevines. I heard that the cheater Alex has been 378 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,360 Speaker 1: shunned from my former friend group. 379 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,679 Speaker 2: Because now they're afraid that she might go after her. 380 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,400 Speaker 2: She gets all seven to down, five. 381 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:25,360 Speaker 7: To go for op to be able to like look 382 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,560 Speaker 7: back and be like, yeah, I understand me. 383 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 3: To say anything. 384 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,640 Speaker 4: And that's why she could have had like the most 385 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,200 Speaker 4: beautiful justice, just. 386 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,639 Speaker 5: Like quarters glass of wine and been like watch the 387 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:37,440 Speaker 5: fire explode. 388 00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,560 Speaker 3: You don't say, Michael Jackson. 389 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,879 Speaker 1: And as for the cheater Alex, I do believe that 390 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,840 Speaker 1: she is a sociopath who enjoys breaking of famis. 391 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:49,520 Speaker 2: She has to be. 392 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:50,439 Speaker 5: She has to be. 393 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,719 Speaker 1: I don't think any amount of exposing her is going 394 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,959 Speaker 1: to work on her because she has no shame. She 395 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:58,800 Speaker 1: deliberately goes after married and committed men, and I am 396 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,320 Speaker 1: glad that I cut ties with her way before she 397 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:02,439 Speaker 1: could go and get to me. 398 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:04,840 Speaker 2: That's it. Have a great life, stay away from all 399 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,119 Speaker 2: of the houses this world. 400 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,440 Speaker 1: And we do have a few relevant comments to close 401 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:11,680 Speaker 1: this out, But have you. 402 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,720 Speaker 2: Met anyone like that that only goes after like married 403 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,720 Speaker 2: men or people in relationships. 404 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:18,959 Speaker 3: Not like a like. 405 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:23,600 Speaker 4: I've met people who are in those those situations, and 406 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,680 Speaker 4: I feel like it always every time, every time a 407 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 4: human fails in an area that you're like, that's common sense, 408 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,440 Speaker 4: there's something in their childhood or past that like has 409 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:34,919 Speaker 4: created some type of damage. It doesn't, It does not 410 00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:38,000 Speaker 4: justify it. But usually the people that I've seen in 411 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,159 Speaker 4: those scenarios, the more I learn about them, the more 412 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:43,560 Speaker 4: I'm like, I get, I get why this is an 413 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:45,760 Speaker 4: area where you would like get trapped in, If that 414 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:46,320 Speaker 4: makes sense. 415 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:47,959 Speaker 5: I've never met anyone like that. 416 00:20:48,240 --> 00:21:01,639 Speaker 7: Yeah, I thank god every day that I've never. 417 00:20:54,440 --> 00:21:02,320 Speaker 1: So onto some relevant comments nineteen fifty six says if 418 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,720 Speaker 1: I was getting cheated on, I would want to know, 419 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:06,920 Speaker 1: so I guess the wife wanted to know. So they're 420 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,960 Speaker 1: responding to that quote. This is a classic Reddit response. 421 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,679 Speaker 1: Everyone should think the way I do, and if I 422 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,879 Speaker 1: would want to know that, everyone else would want to know. 423 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,320 Speaker 1: I am simply the messenger, not one ounce of accountability 424 00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:21,360 Speaker 1: for your own actions as usual, so coming for op 425 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:26,000 Speaker 1: Ope responds, what accountability are you dumb? Why should I 426 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,199 Speaker 1: take accountability when I did nothing wrong? I told the truth. 427 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,760 Speaker 1: If you are a doormat enough that you would not 428 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,359 Speaker 1: want to know the truth about your husband's affair, that's 429 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:35,240 Speaker 1: on you. 430 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:39,600 Speaker 3: You want doormat, doormat the door. 431 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,960 Speaker 1: You want to accept your spouse cheating on you, well, 432 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,359 Speaker 1: that's on you. Most of us sane people would like 433 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:45,600 Speaker 1: to be informed. 434 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:48,120 Speaker 2: She's really heat on, you know. 435 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,800 Speaker 4: OPI is one of those people that you like have 436 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:53,639 Speaker 4: to pull aside and be like a little bit harder 437 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,719 Speaker 4: on how we like we can socially say that in 438 00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,320 Speaker 4: like a kind way, like. 439 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:00,560 Speaker 2: Oh, he's got that dogs. 440 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:02,760 Speaker 3: She really is. 441 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:03,880 Speaker 5: She believes in justice. 442 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:04,640 Speaker 3: But that's it. 443 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,879 Speaker 4: Like both of those things are true, Like I would 444 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:08,960 Speaker 4: want to know. I wouldn't care, like I would hate 445 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,440 Speaker 4: if someone could have told me and I went months 446 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 4: without knowing and like giving this person my all. 447 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,119 Speaker 3: I would want to know. Both of those things are true. 448 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:17,200 Speaker 5: It just could have been handled. 449 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,199 Speaker 4: Like if Ash was in that situation as her friends, 450 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:23,679 Speaker 4: I'm going to strongly encourage her to do so. But 451 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,080 Speaker 4: I don't know if I would go like three steps 452 00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,400 Speaker 4: away from But it's like the situation. 453 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,159 Speaker 7: You present an option for them and ultimated of being like, hey, like, 454 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:34,160 Speaker 7: as your friend, what you're doing is wrong and I 455 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,120 Speaker 7: will be doing this at the end of the week 456 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,400 Speaker 7: if you don't do it yourself, you know, like giving 457 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,120 Speaker 7: them an opportunity to take control. 458 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:42,560 Speaker 1: Which also I think like being able to say something 459 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,919 Speaker 1: that because it's it's for most people, it's hard to 460 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,159 Speaker 1: go to the a friend, someone you love and be 461 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:51,320 Speaker 1: like you are wrong, like I need to hold you accountable. 462 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,840 Speaker 2: Like that's hard to seem hard for OPI, though, it 463 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,080 Speaker 2: seems like it comes to dog. 464 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,800 Speaker 1: So we got one more from Invite Additional eight four 465 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:10,560 Speaker 1: sixty three. Julie deserves it end of story. She helped 466 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:13,720 Speaker 1: an affair for her friend and got exactly what she 467 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:17,119 Speaker 1: deserved for her troubles. She is the poster child for 468 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:21,200 Speaker 1: why you don't help people do a moral and unethical things. 469 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,920 Speaker 1: The only smart thing that Julia is doing is getting 470 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,240 Speaker 1: a divorce and admitting to what she did wrong. She 471 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,160 Speaker 1: needs to figure out why she helped Alex in the 472 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:33,399 Speaker 1: first place. Opie responds basically the female version of Bros 473 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:37,280 Speaker 1: Before hose like she wanted to put her friend first. 474 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,200 Speaker 3: That's where that commenter should. 475 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,920 Speaker 4: That's those are our inside voice thoughts that we keep 476 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:48,520 Speaker 4: to ourselves. We that's yeah, we should probably not share 477 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:49,680 Speaker 4: that out loud because that. 478 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,920 Speaker 3: Is a little bit harsh. Sure harsh, Yeah, I would, 479 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:54,720 Speaker 3: just I would. I would. I would check your meter. 480 00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,240 Speaker 2: From what we say, that sounds like that commentary and 481 00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,159 Speaker 2: Nike OPI would probably be good friends. 482 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:09,600 Speaker 9: Yes, yeah, they are the Justice League. 483 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:15,600 Speaker 1: So geez, we've finished the story. I want to know 484 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:20,520 Speaker 1: we're zooming now. We're going big picture here of all 485 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:24,280 Speaker 1: of the decisions that OP has made throughout this entire saga. 486 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,960 Speaker 1: Are we on OPS the A whole or is OP 487 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:29,160 Speaker 1: not the A whole? 488 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:34,320 Speaker 7: All considered, I'm gonna go OPS not the A whole. 489 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:39,160 Speaker 7: I think she I think OP could have handled things differently, 490 00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:43,119 Speaker 7: but I think she was right the whole time. Sorry 491 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,679 Speaker 7: you said you don't like that she keep saying she 492 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:52,240 Speaker 7: I was trying to fix that. I don't think OPS 493 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:55,040 Speaker 7: the A whole. I think OP was simply telling the truth, 494 00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,159 Speaker 7: and I think OP was doing what was right. I 495 00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,000 Speaker 7: think it could have been handled differently, but I don't 496 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,920 Speaker 7: think OPS and A whole that jaren. 497 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:02,960 Speaker 3: I think that. 498 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:07,480 Speaker 4: I think that I can see why her first decision 499 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,080 Speaker 4: to tell was like not the best move as a friend. 500 00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:13,480 Speaker 4: But I also think like she did what she thought 501 00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:14,919 Speaker 4: was right, but you also have to deal with the 502 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,800 Speaker 4: consequences that come with that, like if your friend group's 503 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,360 Speaker 4: gonna like exile you for that, Like that's the risk 504 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,120 Speaker 4: you took of making like a big move. I do 505 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 4: think she's insensitive, Like I I don't think she could 506 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,600 Speaker 4: have she should have said that, but I feel like 507 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 4: in this in this point, like she's been hurt and 508 00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:34,119 Speaker 4: she's like, I don't really care, because even like the 509 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,840 Speaker 4: Julia Cummings saying I'm sorry, like for what I did, 510 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:38,919 Speaker 4: and she's like, well, I don't care, Like that's her. 511 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,320 Speaker 4: What's been done has been done. So I feel like 512 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,000 Speaker 4: there are some a whole tendencies I have been seeing, 513 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:47,199 Speaker 4: but I don't know. I think she really thought she 514 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,840 Speaker 4: was doing the right thing and everything, but I think 515 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,639 Speaker 4: that it was maybe done in ways that could have 516 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:56,160 Speaker 4: been better, like gentle, Like. 517 00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:57,960 Speaker 7: She just needed to put like a pretty little bow 518 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 7: to make it a little easier to digest instead of 519 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:01,440 Speaker 7: just slapping across. 520 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,000 Speaker 4: There was some overstapping, there was some harsh words, So 521 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:06,200 Speaker 4: I think I think it could have the delivery could 522 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:08,440 Speaker 4: have been done in a completely different way. 523 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:12,040 Speaker 2: Totally. I might go a little contrarying because Okay, most 524 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,240 Speaker 2: a holes don't think they're being the A hole. They 525 00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 2: think they're like that probably serving justice. Yeah, I don't 526 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:25,240 Speaker 2: think that OP is doing something that is against their 527 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:28,080 Speaker 2: like morals, and I think they're acting very much within morals. 528 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,280 Speaker 2: But I think what makes you an a hole is 529 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:34,320 Speaker 2: how you deliver truth, yeah, and advice. And because of 530 00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:37,399 Speaker 2: how OP has delivered truth in the story and in 531 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:40,320 Speaker 2: the commons, I would say I'm getting a lot of ahole. 532 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,560 Speaker 1: Yeah. If there was something that OP felt like, I 533 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:45,800 Speaker 1: need to deliver justice but was not. 534 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:48,400 Speaker 2: Just, was not just, and the justice delivered like kind 535 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 2: of like. 536 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,520 Speaker 1: What if there was something where in Op's perspective is 537 00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,840 Speaker 1: like like this. In this case, at least OP was 538 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:58,679 Speaker 1: was pushing for like the truth and a good pushing 539 00:26:58,680 --> 00:26:59,000 Speaker 1: for good. 540 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:02,120 Speaker 2: What listen, Oh he's got some powers. Okay, what if 541 00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:04,480 Speaker 2: they use it for evil? Well, then they're obviously like 542 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,600 Speaker 2: very much the a hole and they're a bad person 543 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:07,919 Speaker 2: and an a whole. But I think you could be 544 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,400 Speaker 2: a I actually think you could be a good person 545 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,720 Speaker 2: and an a hole. No, I agree, you're. 546 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:14,600 Speaker 5: Really selling me on this. 547 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:15,959 Speaker 3: That's it. 548 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:20,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I feel like that's like where my dilemma 549 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,960 Speaker 4: was is like technically she didn't do the wrong thing 550 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:23,720 Speaker 4: because it's. 551 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,120 Speaker 5: Like someone had to tell someone to find out, but. 552 00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,760 Speaker 4: Like in all of the delivery, but that's true, Like 553 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:30,879 Speaker 4: if you can't deliver things in a way that's like 554 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,520 Speaker 4: not going to hurt the people you care about, then like, 555 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:35,000 Speaker 4: where's the someone. 556 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,480 Speaker 2: Who tells the truth all the time to everyone is 557 00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:42,080 Speaker 2: an a hole? Actually yeah all the time. It's people 558 00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:47,080 Speaker 2: being brutally behind honesty as a way to just like 559 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:47,960 Speaker 2: someone's feelings. 560 00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:51,400 Speaker 7: Yeah yeah, if this is your close friend circle, yeah yeah, 561 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:52,760 Speaker 7: that is a great perspective. 562 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:54,680 Speaker 2: But I would love to know what everyone else in 563 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:58,120 Speaker 2: the commons saying, so you may agree disagree. Put your 564 00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,280 Speaker 2: answers below. We really want to know absolutely, and thank 565 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:02,280 Speaker 2: you both so much. 566 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:10,440 Speaker 5: Thank you, thank you literally just. 567 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:16,520 Speaker 1: Like now we're gonna we're gonna put all the links 568 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,399 Speaker 1: down below. But what's the best place for people to 569 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:20,879 Speaker 1: go to find on solicited advice? 570 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:24,520 Speaker 4: We are on every platform you can listen to podcasts 571 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:28,760 Speaker 4: and our socials are Unsolicited Advice pod and follow us up. 572 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:32,080 Speaker 2: Yeah I go. If you love us, make sure to subscribe. 573 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:36,719 Speaker 2: We love you and see This is an episode from 574 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:42,000 Speaker 2: Deep Within the archives time for okop relam. My wife 575 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:45,160 Speaker 2: is forcing me not to adopt my sister after my 576 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,640 Speaker 2: dad passed, so I'm divorcing her. 577 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,320 Speaker 1: You know, how dare you try and adopt your sister? 578 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:55,000 Speaker 1: That is like disgusting, disgusting. I can't believe you would 579 00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:58,040 Speaker 1: care for your family. Yeah, like, why don't you just 580 00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:01,040 Speaker 1: not care for your family and let them suffer? 581 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:03,360 Speaker 2: I don't know, I say, I think we have a 582 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:08,840 Speaker 2: policy on this show. Oh yeah, always make your family suffer. Bingo, yeah, bingo, mango, 583 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:12,400 Speaker 2: you get a manga. That's right. I twenty eight male, 584 00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,480 Speaker 2: have been married to my wife, twenty eight female for 585 00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:17,160 Speaker 2: two years. We do not have kids, and we did 586 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:20,240 Speaker 2: not plan to. I have a little sister, eleven female. 587 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,560 Speaker 2: Due to the age gap, I am more like another 588 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,240 Speaker 2: father than a brother. Yeah, that's that's a big age 589 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:29,200 Speaker 2: pretty big age gap. My father passed away from pancreatic cancer. Damn. 590 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:31,960 Speaker 2: There are two options for my sister. Either I take 591 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,600 Speaker 2: her in or my uncle dad's brother takes her in. 592 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:38,320 Speaker 2: So we asked who she wanted, and she chose me. 593 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,160 Speaker 2: It's kind of cute and sad at the same time. Yeah, 594 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:42,000 Speaker 2: it's heartbreaking. 595 00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,400 Speaker 1: It's at least nice that like she has someone to 596 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:46,840 Speaker 1: go to that yeah, and relationship she trusts. 597 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:50,080 Speaker 2: The brother wants to be there for her. Here is 598 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:54,200 Speaker 2: the problem. My wife and I decided we do not 599 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,880 Speaker 2: want kids, so she does not want to adopt my sister, 600 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,760 Speaker 2: especially since my uncle can I mean, kes b that's 601 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:08,600 Speaker 2: that's that's a bit drastic, yikes, I mean, especially considering 602 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,160 Speaker 2: the circumstances like have a heart. 603 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,120 Speaker 1: Literally it's like, no, I want to be able to, 604 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:15,120 Speaker 1: you know, hop in a plane and go to Cancun 605 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:17,640 Speaker 1: with the girls without having to get a babysitter. 606 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:21,640 Speaker 2: It's not like like this is this is so much different. 607 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,360 Speaker 2: This is so much It's also like it's only like 608 00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:28,000 Speaker 2: you can you can probably like maybly the mainly staying 609 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:31,360 Speaker 2: with the brother, but like she could probably stay with 610 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:33,080 Speaker 2: the uncle, like every once in a while they wanted 611 00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:34,840 Speaker 2: to go do something. So it's not like there's not 612 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:39,280 Speaker 2: other support structures where they would be totally tied down. 613 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:44,200 Speaker 1: But consider this, Sam, she not only will she not 614 00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:46,600 Speaker 1: be able to go get the cheap margaritas and Cancun, 615 00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:51,880 Speaker 1: she will lose money by paying for this breathing thing. 616 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 2: That is true is breathing thing sacks. 617 00:30:55,480 --> 00:31:00,640 Speaker 1: This shit sack is sucking away her cancuon Margarita mine that. 618 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:04,960 Speaker 2: Is, can't kuon margarita. Money is sacred, sacred, dide. You 619 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,840 Speaker 2: gotta get that spicy hollopen yo. Come on, come on, dude, 620 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,040 Speaker 2: so good and you can get also like with the 621 00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:14,680 Speaker 2: dollar conversion, like you can get so many margaritas and 622 00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:15,960 Speaker 2: you need those margarita's. 623 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,480 Speaker 1: Guess what the dog conversion is for the shit sack? 624 00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:25,640 Speaker 1: Negative nothing, bro, kiss this good vod dude. 625 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:27,800 Speaker 2: She's gonna need all those margharita is to get over 626 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,880 Speaker 2: how terrible she of a person. She is not accepting 627 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:32,640 Speaker 2: this eleven year old's. 628 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:35,040 Speaker 1: Just like this, this eleven year old just breathing and 629 00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:37,800 Speaker 1: reading my money away audacity. 630 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,280 Speaker 2: But my sister has no parents now, and I want 631 00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,360 Speaker 2: to make sure she's able to recover and be healthy. 632 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:44,520 Speaker 2: And since she wants to be with me, I will 633 00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:46,480 Speaker 2: not force her to be with our uncle. I mean, 634 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:48,920 Speaker 2: which makes total sense, makes a lot of sense. This 635 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,160 Speaker 2: is causing a lot of tension with my wife. Things 636 00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,720 Speaker 2: escalated and finally told her I am doing this whether 637 00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:57,840 Speaker 2: she agrees to or not. She can either accept it 638 00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:01,920 Speaker 2: or we get divorced. Oh, my man is drawing a 639 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,360 Speaker 2: line of that. That's an ultimatum, dude, But honestly, like 640 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,320 Speaker 2: I totally understand the ultimatum like that, like like that, 641 00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:11,080 Speaker 2: like what do you do in this situation? Dude? Also 642 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,520 Speaker 2: his wife again red flags in these relationships, Like his 643 00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:18,440 Speaker 2: wife seems totally like like not able to understand the 644 00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:20,080 Speaker 2: gravity of this situation. 645 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:23,520 Speaker 1: Not at all, just like to have a heart. I 646 00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:30,200 Speaker 1: don't know, God, impossible. We have not talked since then. 647 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,200 Speaker 1: What can I do in this situation? I have like 648 00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:36,320 Speaker 1: a fucking eyelash. 649 00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,960 Speaker 2: I okay, my sister is staying with my uncle until 650 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,920 Speaker 2: I prepare things needed for her to live with me. Yes, 651 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:44,120 Speaker 2: my uncle talked with her and she said she still 652 00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,120 Speaker 2: wants to live with me. I live closer to my 653 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,760 Speaker 2: dad than my uncle, so it's easier for her with me. 654 00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:51,960 Speaker 2: I will adopt my sister. I know I'm going to 655 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,120 Speaker 2: do it, and I feel like my marriage is doomed. 656 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,000 Speaker 2: I just posted here because maybe someone can give me 657 00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:00,280 Speaker 2: idea if there's another way. And is there? Well, there 658 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:03,280 Speaker 2: is an update, oh dear. And you know why we 659 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:06,240 Speaker 2: love updates because everything gets resolved. Oh yeah, the updates. 660 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:09,840 Speaker 1: Updates always mean everything is peachy keen, and we're gonna. 661 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,680 Speaker 2: Go loo key. Like a lot of times updates are 662 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,240 Speaker 2: that Like a lot of times updates get resolved. That 663 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:17,760 Speaker 2: is true. And then other times I talk to my 664 00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:20,880 Speaker 2: wife again, she still refused and she does not want kids, 665 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:24,320 Speaker 2: so we are basically deciding to go our separate ways. 666 00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:27,280 Speaker 2: She said, you were really choosing your sister over me. 667 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:31,600 Speaker 2: That's shit, sack sack. I told her, I do not 668 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:34,280 Speaker 2: want to go into this discussion again, but if that 669 00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:36,680 Speaker 2: is what you want to But if that is what 670 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:38,480 Speaker 2: you want to hear, But if that is what you 671 00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:43,080 Speaker 2: want to hear, then fine, Yes, my sister takes priority 672 00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:46,840 Speaker 2: right now. I am choosing her over you. This was 673 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:49,440 Speaker 2: our last conversation. I've been living with my sister for 674 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:53,280 Speaker 2: one week now. Being a single fatherish brother is definitely challenging, 675 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:57,640 Speaker 2: but I'm actually kind of enjoying it. Wow. Man, that 676 00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:01,720 Speaker 2: just went down in the worst possible way. I mean, 677 00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,880 Speaker 2: I but it's like this is like I feel like 678 00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:07,280 Speaker 2: this wife just is not understanding at all. Like I like, 679 00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:10,839 Speaker 2: if you're going through I mean, obviously it changes her 680 00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:15,680 Speaker 2: life too. Yeah, and I do understand that, but like 681 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:20,520 Speaker 2: if she's not willing to to to do this and 682 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:24,719 Speaker 2: like take care of this person that you really care for, 683 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:27,640 Speaker 2: then she's probably not the one then totally. 684 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:30,400 Speaker 1: And also it's like like you were saying, it's like okay, 685 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:33,520 Speaker 1: we'll bring her in, but it's like all right, look, 686 00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,719 Speaker 1: we can bring her in, but like I don't want to, 687 00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,080 Speaker 1: you know, I want you to be the main one responsible, 688 00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:41,239 Speaker 1: you know, like driving her to her things and all that. 689 00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:45,240 Speaker 1: Like if if you can like really like take responsibility 690 00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:47,719 Speaker 1: and still give me some leniency in my life, Like 691 00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,719 Speaker 1: clearly there's there's some things in her life that she 692 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,840 Speaker 1: wants to have freedom from without the children. Yeah, maybe 693 00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:56,680 Speaker 1: you know, maybe OP is like op he is the 694 00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:59,440 Speaker 1: main one responsible for her, and he's probably like like 695 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:01,719 Speaker 1: maybe the stipulation and be like hey, like I don't 696 00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:03,040 Speaker 1: want to take care of kids. I'm not good at 697 00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:05,080 Speaker 1: it or whatever, right, and so it's like okay, like 698 00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:08,080 Speaker 1: no sweat, I will take care of my sister and 699 00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:10,000 Speaker 1: then we'll be okay and like me like me and 700 00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:14,560 Speaker 1: my uncle basically, but damn bro, this Yeah, this relationship. 701 00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,640 Speaker 2: Went done so bad. And you know, sometimes you just 702 00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:19,200 Speaker 2: can't let the ship sex in your life. I'm sorry. Yeah, 703 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:21,319 Speaker 2: But also like this is this is a this is 704 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:26,040 Speaker 2: a test of relationship and uh and they failed. But hey, 705 00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:27,600 Speaker 2: that's a good thing. That's a good thing. You can 706 00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:31,200 Speaker 2: move on to better and brighter pastures. Get someone better. 707 00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:31,399 Speaker 2: Op